The NSFL Iceberg Explained ❤️ 

As someone on the psychosis spectrum, hearing you casually refer to having schizophrenia and then moving on was really comforting. Thanks for that

Most of the NSFL/gore community is literally like: *brown kid dies* "Damn that's sick. Did you see the way his head split open?" *white kid dies* "That's so sad. Guys let's be respectful here"

You are the only content creator in this genre I trust not to fuck me up, you are very talented at walking people through some of the saddest most disturbed moments in human history

Amazing video! Apologies to anyone I messed up with the brick video, lesson learned on reaction warnings 😅

When i was a child, I saw a documentary about a transwoman and the medical process of it (though i looked away during most of the surgery parts) and it didn't make me be against trans folk. It just made me understand that that's just something that exists and I was glad the woman's surgery was succesful and she felt happy about it. I'm glad I saw it as a kid cause it grew my understanding of other people's lives.

The aftermath of Bianca Devins case was absolutely terrifying. Incels were spreading the pictures to every kind of communities that they disliked (mainly ones by women) and basically telling them "ur next" and spreading all sorts of mean spirited rumours about Bianca. I remember seeing one of the photos of her on twitter right under a tweet by one of her family members explaining the situation because no one really knew what was going on. I cant imagine what they went through at that time. That whole situation made me realize how scary incels really are.. They see a photo of a clearly dead nearly decapitated young girl and say "this is right" because women wont date them. Some said she was asexual, others said she was sleeping with a lot of men and some said she was just mean, all to justify her getting killed.. Absolutely disgusting

Took me years to realize that watching nslf content was a form of extreme self harm for me. I was making myself absolutely agonize over the pain of others and it would cause me to spiral and catastrophize.

regarding 1 guy 1 jar, the guy didn't actually like bleeding out his cavities. he would usually fill the jars with water which is why they didn't break, this time his family was outside so he didn't want to make any noise! he ended up just stuffing his cavity with gauze and going to work later that day. all this information is from whang's video btw

I have a really bad spiral I go into where I get temporarily addicted to nsfl videos. I can't stop watching the content and looking for more, and it spirals me into a depression and paranoia, so many emotions. I feel bad for looking at the stuff, feel bad for the people, get worried about things happening to loved ones/imagine it happening to them, while also being completely fascinated and watching closely. It usually ends with a mental breakdown and me swearing off of them, but the spiral always happens again. I feel like this video helps me not look them up, just listening about them feels like a good way to get myself off the weird addiction. I wish I could just stop but like, I'm seriously just addicted to these stupid gore vids.

maybe im just overly emotional, but hearing you say you have schizophrenia genuinely made me burst into tears. im schizo myself and it can be a nightmare to live with a lot of the time, so finding out that someone else is "like me" in that regard is very comforting. your videos(despite their very morbid subject matter) have probably changed my way of thinking for the better, i remember especially watching the last part of your disturbing movies iceberg when it came out and it having a huge impact on me. love ur videos they mean a lot 2 me

One of my ex-girlfriends (still friends, because lesbians) is schizophrenic. She hallucinates birds following her and talking to her. She assumed it was normal and not even something to bring up until she went to college and took a psychology class. I guess it hadn't occurred to her because she grew up on a farm and you don't go to the doctor unless you are literally dying in many rural communities. There's cultures still where the concept that hallucinations=bad haven't spread enough to effect their hallucinations. Basically, the very concept that one isn't supposed to see things that aren't there can cause more distressing sensory experiences to those who experience hallucinations. Don't know what the solution is other than destigmatize, because some people do genuinely suffer as a result of such conditions, like those with paranoid delusions. Anyway, weird rant done. You and another trans friend of mine both have schizophrenia.

I love how Mae/May (I can’t remember how she spells it) like really discourages people from looking further into these tragedies and just to like, go have a nice hobby like knitting or crafting. She’s really thoughtful ❤️💕✨

May: get some beads Me (threading beads on a friendship bracelet at this very moment): 🙂

I was on a Plagued Moth binge, he's always excellent about describing content without showing it. I was downloading pirated games on one tab not really paying attention, went to the RU-vid tab and was legitimately distressed by the brick video for a good couple days. Glad I wasn't alone.

One of my best friends in high school was super edgy and when we had computer class, once we were done with our work, we could play on the internet for awhile. So once he was done, he would look up gore, car crash videos, horrible accidents etc. And he would show me, like "look at how sick this shit is!" So I saw and heard a lot of stuff I never wanted to see and I started having nightmares. Then one of the other people he showed the gore and horrible videos to told her mother because she started having nightmares too and her mom contacted the school and the guy got suspended and when he came back, he had to have the teacher stand behind him through the whole class to make sure he didn't look up more gore and expose vulnerable people to it.

I really appreciate your kindness about Bianca. That is so hard to find online. That case is so disturbing to me as someone who grew up terminally online, like that could’ve been anyone. It’s so scary to see people say that was in anyway her fault.

Now, I really want a Jay Sherman-style cardboard cutout of May holding her book and repeatedly shouting, "Buy my book! Buy my book!" But then every fourth time or so, she throws in a, "Joseph Stalin killed Dave Chapelle!"

Oh. My dad was an aircraft engineer and that involved crash analysis and such. I've heard so many black boxes when my dad was working in his home office that was next to my bedroom. So many people panic and get so calm in the last 20-30 seconds. The most striking was a male pilot apologizing to his wife. I forgot what exactly it was, but he did something wrong and he said she and his family were right. He cried for about...idk...a few seconds. Then he prayed the rosary with his (assumed) catholic co-pilot before the plane crashed. His last word was the name of one of his children. Also there was the blackbox recording of when a female co-pilot was accidentally decapitated while boarding into a helicopter. The pilot screamed for a solid five minutes. That was one my dad was on-site for and had to help in the cleanup. If I was a worse person, I'd probably upload it all if his PC is still functional. But it upset me then...can't imagine what it would do to someone now.

Okay miss 2am upload 💅

I too was traumatized by the Russian brick video via plaguedmoth and it completely put me off his content entirely lmao that and he called Steve Irwin's death "lame" and yeah definitely one of my first exposures to true crime people that relish in the spectacle of people's suffering and play the one-up game of voluntarily rotting their brain through traumatic imagery

Also Plagued Moth just PLAYING the audio out of nowhere was really bad for me too. I have intrusive thoughts and pure-O from OCD, so hearing the sound was something I never wanted to have rattle around in my brain for hours. I was really pissed because I’d known of that video for years and he just slipped it in, which was NOT cool oof.

the absolute wildest NSFL viewing experience ive had was when i got re-certified on the forklift and before the instructor showed us the official Company Training Video he pulled up a couple of LiveLeak videos he had DOWNLOADED on his laptop of people just getting absolutely WRECKED in forklift accidents. they didn't show any gore but you just Knew those people were dead.

Michael’s is very good. I used to work there and I am very openly queer, heavily tattooed and pierced. Not only was the management chill but so we’re the customers even though most of them were older people. Don’t support Hobby Lobby and their misogyny and queerphobia, give your money to Michael’s even if you have to drive a little farther.

RE: the subject of cancellation, you're so right about it being directed primarily towards marginalized people. It's impossibly fucked up that Chappelle has made a career pivot off of being "cancelled" when trans people like the ones he is publicly hateful towards are the ones that can truly have their lives and wellbeing ruined by online mobs (ie Isabel Fall). Good video, might not be able to finish it. Schizos forever.

"I find people enjoying other people's death as some kind of spectacle to be kind of shit tier behavior" With good reason, too (I mean obviously lol but yeah), because also like, that's what lynching was. Lynching. It was out in the open, people were invited to watch, the entire town would come out. It was like entertainment to them. Because they had dehumanized their victims so thoroughly, in their minds.

as a latino, thank you so much for bringing attention to the school of the americas and all the shit that people in latam have had to go through for it. most people really don't care

Finally, some family friendly content.

Yo I work in an anime warehouse and I just been blaring your icebergs on the PA while packing orders. Needless to say, I'm entertained and the truck repairmen next door now need therapy.

I appreciate May’s insistence on engaging in this topic in as safe a way as possible, given the subject matter. Thanks May :) didn’t watch beyond minute 8

I really liked plaquemoth's videos, but I stopped watching him because he was talking about the "brick through the windshield" video, and without warning cut to it. I enjoy hearing about and learning about these things, but I don't want to randomly get PTSD from some youtube vid i have on while playing videogames.

When I was in high school I started an AP studio art project about our tolerance for sex and intolerance of violence. I spent a few months searching through crime scene photos and gore sites, looking for images with decent composition. I was laying out a 6 page spread as if in an art history textbook straining the importance of censoring your sexual content with violence. I hit a point where any time I closed my eyes I saw grotesque, fantastical, and ever-changing wounds. As my depression got worse over the years suicidal ideation became a big part of my daily life. I _feel_ the injuries much more than i see them and it sucks. Now I have a hard time hearing or seeing gore in movies and film, even goofy gore I used to enjoy. Fucking stile project ruined me

Bloody well love you. Plagued Moth traumatised a lot of people no doubt. Your perspective on fucked up shit is very enlightening. You are like the lil sister I never had who is annoyingly way more intelligent ❤️

stumbled upon this video by chance, and i'm immediately captivated by your compassionate, calm and open vibe. i really appreciate how you approach this stuff, as i'm a very anxious and also self-destructive person who used to watch gore around the age of 18 as a form of mental punishment just for... being alive? no clue why i did that in hindsight. it follows me to this day, and i had no clue i needed someone to talk about this in a way that's approachable and open. cheers! new sub ♡

Also, as someone who grew up completely post-9/11 and in the internet era, it's insane how normalized it all is. I wouldn't have considered footage of the suicides, etc as NSFL but they totally are, and we watched documentaries about specifically that in like elementary school.

Sometimes I wonder why I am the way I am...Then I go down memory lane, and remember that I was raised by the internet and stuff makes sense again.

Very glad I'm at a point in my life now where the thought "Let me pull up tabs to look into some of these further" and my next thought is "All it's going to do is maybe satisfy a minuscule amount of curiosity but overall make your day really shitty. So yeah let's not do that". I had several periods in my life where it took me a bit to realize that looking these things up was a form of self harm for me. Very rarely do I listen to literal audio or watch real disturbing vids anymore thankfully. I'm a genuinely morbid person and always have been so it's never been realistic for me to try to totally shut off that curiosity. But I just stick to fucked up movies and if I feel like the content that I'm engaging with is too dark too often then I examine that. Also I got your book in the mail finally and love what I've heard so far of your new album!

As a human being you remind me of a thing Socrates used to say, "The wise man seeks death all his life, for this reason, death is not terrifying to him" I feel like this content fits into the part of my brain that is just trying to cope with death. It is useful for a human being using it to unpack and deal with the weirdness of death. Only if we understand death can we truly be ready for it ourselves and all that.

I live in Puerto Rico and we are going through a hurricane right now...and I'm here without electricity and with my 20% battery life watching this video and loving it before regretting it an hour later. (Honestly May entertained me so much during this hurricane!) And I would LOVE to read your book, I have it on my wish list, can't wait to read it eventually.

i have a morbid curiosity about this kind of thing so it’s helpful that you provide content without showing anything explicit, i feel weirdly safe on your channel lol

I have ocd and get stuck in rabbitholes sometimes. Used to be completely obsessed with gore content in earlier internet days and it made my anxiety so much worse. Love hearing your perspective on this stuff!

for such an upsetting topic, this is such a cozy video. like i feel like im talking about horrible stuff with a goofy friend* while hanging out in her room *i hope this doesn't sound weird coming from a stranger ajdksk i just mean this vid has such a comfortable, casual vibe yknow?

Ain’t nothin’ like watching a May video while eating at your favorite diner in the middle of the night.

My first NSFL experience was Challenger exploding on the TV in my kindergarten class.

"Some people have really weird hobbies." It seems like hyperbole or a humorous oversimplification but it's a surprisingly insightful way of explaining why some people do what they do.

as somebody who probably hasn’t seen maybe almost all of these videos, this is great cause it just reminds me of why i shouldn’t see them ever, either

God this is horrible but the bit where you were talking about your recurring nightmare made me SCREAM laugh until I cried. That imagery is so scary and I just find that too hilarious.

I think you're probably the first person I've seen acknowledge how fucked the brick video is. People seem to think it's on the tamer side since you don't see anything, but as someone who tends to fall down these types of nsfl rabbit holes, that's probably the thing that messed me up the most. I was already scared of driving (thanks The Descent, for doing that to me as a child!), but that one did a number on me, . Also, hey hey, we have similar reoccurring nightmares! I think mine looks more like one of those photobooth filters that distorts the face into a swirl, though. Funny how that works.

plagued moth actually mentioned me in the video he did on this as a "goretuber", which is weird cuz like. i'm not really on here reviewing gore content. i'm desensitized to fucked up content so sometimes i watch mixtapes and describe what's in it and sometimes i talk about weird fucked up movies and internet videos. i was kinda uncomfortable with him mentioning my channel like that?? idk it was just weird. i also got a bunch of subscribers from him who didn't really like me being queer and a girl and talking about fucked up shit and also like, really enjoy making fat jokes about me and would criticize me for like y'know not saying slurs and it genuinely put me off creating any sort of content.

Killer video May. This is one time when "Show, don't tell" can only lead to trauma so thanks for telling.... not showing. Also, Mandela Catalogue has no place on this list like you said but if you explore more internet content, do you think you might ever tackle the Analog Horror iceberg?

this video handles this topic much better than goretuber folks do. i unfortunately fell down that rabbit hole of watching these people and i’m so glad i’ve opened my eyes to how bad they are but this video is very well made and the way you emphasize how BAD it is to glorify or meme these things , is so important. thank you.

If I may offer a point of correction, the guy in the jar video didn't intend to have the jar break. He basically is just a giant size queen from my knowledge and he usually would fill the jars with water to prevent breakage but because he (now, I got be wrong, don't take me for gospel but I know that Whang has an interview and that's what I'm recalling from) wanted to do an impromptu session he didn't bother with the water in the jar in case it arose suspicion from his family. And what's even gnarlier is that instead of going to a hospital he just picked out the shards and shoved himself full of cotton balls and somehow made a full recovery 😵😵

For the racism against Natives in the Gore community, I absolutely agree that it's not talked about enough. As a native myself, when I first got into the goretuber community I was shocked at the amount of cultural appropriation and casual racism thrown around. It really felt like I wouldn't be accepted much in any fanbases.

honestly a lil healing to hear someone else also was traumatized by plagued moth autoplaying the russian brick video in his iceberg sorry u had to go thru that also, shit sucks!!

as someone newly diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder who's been keeping it a secret from nearly everyone, thank you for being open and casual about your diagnosis❤

the queen is dead???? no, the queen is back.

May just went down my childhood internet history almost chronologically and my drunk narcissist of a mother wonders why I'm in therapy and was once a heroin addict.

The brick video singlehandedly made me stop watching NSFL material for good. I can never unhear those screams. That video traumatized me more than any gore video ever could have.

i like that you actually stop to explain why stuff on this list was not only fucked up for the victims but for spectators just minding their own business who saw these things whether they wanted to or not. nobody talks enough about what it was like in the last 20 or 30 years (?) to suddenly be subjected to so much nsfl stuff. ive always wanted to talk about my experience as a kid and teen in those early days but i haven't found a good excuse to do so i guess also on mr.plaguedmoth he's alright - i don't really know what to think about gore reaction videos but i do appreciate that he'll tell the other gore enjoyers things like "i don't care if you think im a pussy- this is terrible" that said those videos could use a wee bit more warning

Babe wake up, our queen has dropped a new video

it is 4 am and I am watching an iceberg video about horrifying things that'll fuck my brain. I think I have made great life choices.

Hearing you mention schizophrenia and schizo posting was really fun and relatable to me! I am and have been really into this sort of thing for a lot of my life and recently started thinking about my mental state and how I might also have schizophrenia in some way (runs in my family from my parents) and it's hard to find people mention it casually or see it depicted as normal people with issues. This comment might make no sense and will totally get lost but idk, it made me as a struggling woman feel not so alone just to hear you mention it casually like that. Thank you for being yourself ♡

I really enjoy your videos and thank you so much for not putting the footage in the video but rather explaining it xD Probably spares me a lot of trauma

i’ve already fallen in love with your personality over a couple long videos and hearing “so get ready- here comes a schizopost” and then you laughing. as someone who deals with psychosis. sent me absolutely soaring oh my god i was trying to draw and just kept giggling

I have trauma with plagued moth for another reason. I had a bad experience with him in his server. When I was 18. I got access to the nsfw channels (I showed ID and everything) And then he told me 2 months later, my ID was fake and that I was underage. Then he went to twitter and called me a predator. And it was a traumatic experience.. All because I looked younger than my age..

your perspective on the concept of nsfl honestly made me far more willing to partake than normal. i tend to dislike this style of content but with the talk of perspective and contexts given it gives it nuance.

My dad grew up in Pennsylvania when the Budd Dwyer incident happened. He saw the moments before Dwyer’s death, but the channel he was watching cut the feed a few seconds before his death.

I’ve seen a lot of bad shit, but the only medical shit I’ve seen that really upset me were horrific traumas being treated. The cleanness and precision of surgery, while it does body-horror tickle me from time to time, it’s never particularly shocking to me.

Got recommended part 2 cuz my algorithm knows I can’t help myself, listened to one minute and knew I had to come to part 1 for the full experience. You’re a phenomenal presenter

I appreciate your ability to put stuff like this into words, specifically with the intro.

The vibes of these iceberg videos are always an immaculate type of unhinged and I love it

I’ve always been scared and reluctant to mention my schizophrenia, even in passing or as an explanation so seeing you just kinda mention it and move on really gave me pause and, well, hope. That was really rad. Also your music slaps!

The one of these that just hit me hardest is the one about graverobbing. I agree that it sounds like a student film, but earlier this summer, as a seasonal employee at a cemetery (doing preservation work on historic monuments), my coworker and I accidentally dug up the skeletal remains of a man who was much, MUCH closer to the surface than he was supposed to be (we suspect tree roots pulled him up). We managed to sift through the dirt we'd already dug up and get all of him reburied, and the rest of the work on his monument went fine, but I'm still processing it months later, and I keep going between it being incredibly funny to me and incredibly disturbing. I hadn't thought about him in a few days. I really hope that's a student film. I'm not sure what else my point is here except maybe try to avoid unexpectedly having to hold human remains? idk

Your delivery is so entertaining I’m subscribing

Here’s the thing, May, and you know this too. We are just like you. We know we don’t need to watch this video. Most of us probably already know what’s going to be listed here. Some of us are in recovery from our old habit of watching every horrible thing on the internet just to feel something only to “oh fuck oh no, I didn’t mean for this thing to stay with me for the rest of my life.” So we know. You know. And yes, we ARE going to watch this video and revisit those things. But what I LOVE about you, is that you represent those of us that have a conscience about it. Those of us who, through our cynicism about EVERYTHING, wish we weren’t this way. But accept it.

40:00 funny enough, on the subreddit r/morbidreality, one of the top sorted posts is someone getting top surgery (that or SRS, I can’t remember the specifics) - and all of the top comments were actually super nice and respectful for once lmao. It was nice to see on a gore subreddit of all things.

For me my “Baby’s first gore/traumatizing video” wasn’t Budd Dwyer’s suicide it was the body cam footage of the death of Bryan Wells. Essentially a pizza delivery driver died from a collar bomb detonating on his neck. I ended up watching the Netflix doc with my mom and she was kinda shocked that I wasn’t spooked like she was due to the fact I had seen it before.

Every year on 9/11 when I was in high school, all of my teachers in every class I had that day would forgo any actual schoolwork and instead just show us footage of 9/11. Not tributes or anything like that, just footage of the event itself. The towers collapsing, people jumping off of the buildings, things of that nature. And I graduated high school before I turned 18, so I was the ages of 14-17 being shown videos of people jumping off of the towers and losing their lives in my school lol. I remember one time in specific where we were shown a video of a guy recording the event on his phone from the streets below one of the towers. He caught one of the planes striking the building in his video, and he reacted (pretty justifiably) with a "OH SHIT!". The teacher immediately scrambled to turn the video off, and then apologized to us because the guy swore as if that was the disturbing thing that the class was witnessing

That fucking video you're talking about from Plagued Moth fucked me up so bad and as someone who is already fearful of driving after a high speed highway crash, it really fucked me up Edit: also that fucking Ruth Price 911 call literally had me so shaken up for weeks

Found my new favorite person on RU-vid. Incredibly well spoken, hilarious, wonderful pacing, wide range of topics, and plenty of new info for me to research. My ONLY gripe is that she didn’t put the spellings of some topics on screen. Would have made my research a little easier, but even with that being said, solid 9.5/10 and I can’t wait for more videos.

I had to stop the video after the subscribe incident to laugh uncontrollably. It's almost like they were going "Yeah, beheddings! This is the content I subscribe for." despite you not actually being live at the time and they had no way of knowing. Much needed after the topics so far.

I just found you and I love your channel! I appreciate how you describe things without showing them ❤

As somebody who was born in January of 2001, 9/11’s a pretty trippy subject for me. Because my answer to “where were you during 9/11” is “I’unno, the kitchen, probably throwing up on myself”. Grateful through I am that I don’t have any trauma related to the event, it’s pretty fucked that I can’t even remember the event that completely defined the course of my life. Man, one day somebody’s gonna be thinking this about the pandemic, aren’t they?

Just found your channel and just wanna say I really like the way you present these topics and your sense of humor is *chefs kiss*

I've been a longtime watcher of Nyx for years. It saddens me to hear of your pivot to internet horrifica but it's always great to see you draw a welcoming and friendly base of watchers. Keep doing what you want Nyx, need more personalities like you on RU-vid :)

"So scary you'll need a cookie" is now a part of my media analysis vernacular

I read the title as "The NFL Iceberg Explained" LOL. I much prefer what this actually was. Unless there IS some weird NFL iceberg.

just saw your cameo in we’re all going to the world’s fair and wished you featured more !!

Love it when May does disturbing stuff

I love the way you start your video, subbed

every time i see a nyx fears post i simply must see the trauma she has 2 talk about and boy oh boy it does do some traumatizing on an emotional level

Great vid! Love how you handled some tougher topics. ♥️

I knew I loved you for so many important reason. I had a whole synchronicity moment when you said. I threw my headphones and ran to tell my also schizophrenic boyfriend who also loves you. When we’re freaking out, we watch you, and you’re the only creator we can really trust to watch during those times. I knew there had to be a reason for that. Schizoaffective gang❤️❤️❤️ I feel like family. I love you and yours! Always have!

Oh hell yes another May banger of a video. Can’t wait to regret knowing this info.

I really wanted to say something in regards to what you said in the nsfl video you uploaded 3 days ago. I loved how you were able to basically simplify and break down for people like me and probably a lot others ways of dealing with crappy emotional stuff head on by compartmentalizing and reading and watching stuff that is really disgusting cuz basically what I took from that so no matter what I'm dealing with emotionally that sucks nothing is worse than watching people crap on themselves for fun. So thanks 😀

You've got so much integrity, looking out for yourself and us as well as you can, you're right and I'm happy to see that! Adore the name of your upcoming album by the way. I've actually successfully avoided seeing a lot of NSFL content over the years (even though I'm nearly 30 and was online when a lot of this stuff was popular to send around), turns out a combination of not having friends and just like not clicking on things really helped xD I did see a few things, one was because losers used to go and "raid" tumblr posting very very NSFL stuff in unrelated tags, and most of the rest was because of my ex who kinda sucked tbh. Thanks for letting me know things without necessarily having to see it all myself so I can then figure out what I can and can't handle safely.

I'm 9 minutes into the video and i feel like dante being guided by vergil into hell. could not ask for a better companion for this journey

I think the reason that I like your content and engaging with it, even when I disagree with you, is because I feel like no other channel really opens up these discussions on internet related traumas and tragedies with the focus and care you give it. I experienced seeing a lot of things on the internet i really should not have and its nice i guess to have someone online openly discuss and open up a conversation about that stuff, both in terms of giving the trauma inducing content context as well as analyzing how seeing that stuff online at a young age can hurt your brain real bad. I know you said that you often have to seek out the internets many wonderful horrors, but in my experience it feels like they found me instead, so having the ability to open a dialog about these literal pieces of my and i assume many other zoomers' trauma is comforting i guess? Honestly watching your videos makes me feel like almost sick to my stomach but in a way that i need to feel so i can move on, if that makes any sense. Im sorry if that sounds like an insult, i swear its not

I think you can learn alot from true crime. I started watching documentaries about murder when I was about 12 and they have taught me alot about what kind of men I should stay clear of if I don't wanna die a gruesome death

May posts= best day ever instantly

Great vid! Really appreciate the PTSD massage. For real, getting context on those terrible videos we ended up seeing as kids kind of helps like, purify the evil in them somehow? At least, it purged some of the awful from my brain, so thanks! Love all your iceberg videos and appreciate you not re-showing the awful. 💜