The pace of modern life versus our cavewoman biochemistry: Dr Libby Weaver at TEDxQueenstown 

Megan6772 that broke my heart, because to me it seemed like she might want to have them But didn’t feel like the way her life was could adapt. Obviously having kids is a choice no one can make for someone else. It makes me sad to think that for any reason a person would feel pressured into any choice by a situation that isn’t their fault.

OMG yes!! I have been embracing the minimalist lifestyle for awhile now, letting go of toxic motivations is like releasing an enormous weight you've been dragging around. You feel instantly lighter, and every day becomes a gift to unwrap, instead of something to dread =) 🔆🌙 ⭐

Iron Snowflake absolutely! I also stopped looking for true love. For me, it doesn’t seem possible in the society we live in. I meditate a lot, and practice finding the love within me instead of searching for it in the world.

@@Paarthurnaxdova I think the most neglected relationships we have in life is the ones we have with ourselves...some people scoff & chuckle at this notion, but I *know* this is a great truth in life...know thyself & know serenity 💓✌ Have a beautiful day :)

Celtic Hutcheson the only true love is the one we can have for ourselves ❤️

Celtic Hutcheson but do you have kids? I think the TED speaker is generally referring to working moms. I work too but don’t have kids but I’m nervous to have them bc I have no idea how I’ll have time for them while working.

What a smart decision you made!

Taking the “pay cut” has been so worth it for us too. Congratulations.

In what ways do you spoil yourself with your liifestyle asking for a friend 😁

What a sexist.

As a male I think the whole model has to change. Women can work and be successful. Men can raise children and keep house. It's the respect for reciprocal roles that needs a mindset change not the illusion that turning back the clock will work. And it's a new workplace culture where zombie jobs at half the pay so you need two people working to simply exist finally disappear and one income is enough. For many imprisoned in this half pay twice the jobs so women have equal pay and opportunity culture giving up one job just doesn't pay the basic costs. Jordan Peterson speaks of this feminism time bomb. We've been conned and delude ourselves that we have freedoms. One sad fact is that single parent mothers don't instil values so children go feral but single male fathers do raising well adjusted future adults. It questions the whole parenting system in our modern culture. Of course two parent families generally bring balance. But it's not been analysed in regard to two parent working families how children cope and whether well adjusted children emerge. Another ticking time bomb. Change is needed. However society is addicted to the illusion of success and working to achieve it. The reality is it's a marathon with no winners. Everyone loses as the goal posts move as everyone experiences success and it's diminished so more success is required to maintain the illusion of success. It's akin to a dog chasing its tail. Visually hilarious until you realise that's what our Western world economy depends on.

100% agree with you. Thank you.

Bingo!!!!!

Xaris Xeros We wanted the rights to be treated like people instead of possessions.

@acrobatsutr acrobatsutr What historical era are you refering to? In Britain during the early 1800s, and even earlier women were neither allowed to own propety, control their own assets, nor able to sell and buy without their husband's permission. Women worked hard non-stop. Lots of manual work; sewing, farm work, cleaning and perserving food (without fridges and washing machines) and taking care of children (that also began working at a young age). All that was very physically demanding. Yet their work didn't end at sunset. Others worked as servants and teachers. I agree that taking care of children at home is a noble occupation. It seems wonderful to be able to do that, if one's heart calls for it. However I believe the past is far too romantiscized. Women didn't get time to relax as much as we think they did. Unless they were rich. Hopefully there will be some policy changes that makes it easier to spend time with family. Wherever you are. :)

Probably a huge contributor to the dead bedroom phenomenon

@Isabel Welsh Yes. But this helps. And in case they want children, hormones are needed.

@effexon which documentary did you watch? I'm interested in checking it out.

This is one of the the most pseudoscience comments I've ever seen on youtube, yet delivered with so much authority and confidence lol

@@user-qb3tk8rs8t I know right?

StaringCompetition this is why I don’t have kids

@@patriciacorrea8871 same

Me too!! I was not expecting to relate to so much of what she said.

Good for You. It sounds like You "adopted" him and We're raising him. Boys need to grow up! You're better of alone. Still, I wish You to one Day meet a Nice responsable Man to love You and share your life with:)

What exactly do u mean? Reduce work hours in and out of the house how? Like get payed the same but work less and do less chores but everything still works out?

@@natc1008 You've nailed it. I'm all okay with our dollar suddenly being worth 40% more and corporations simply cutting our hours by 40% so we can all live exactly like we do now without any consequences... but I'm a pessimist.

Frankly, I don't understand why this is so difficult for people. It's the same with men. Do you want to be a successful business person? Do you want to be a parent? Do you want to be present in your childrens' lives? Find a spouse who is willing to do half the work. If you want to be a career woman/man with kids, you need a stay at home counterpart. This is all very simple. I'm probably going to end up with a single dad and work myself to death trying to support children that aren't mine. This would make me very happy. As it turns out, you get tired as you age so make smart decisions that allow you to work less as time goes on.

THANK YOU! Finally someone says what Ive been thinking all the time she was talking...

I'm soooo thankful to my husband for providing for me so I can be a stay-at-home mom. I would rather live in a mobile home and be a stay-at-home mom in a trailer park than to be a career woman with a big house and having to hire someone to take care of my kids.

I feel like we are a very few number ladies, but I also would rather be a 1-income family and raise my daughter with the precious years they are than some daycare caring for my child.

Of course, it is! However, it is a luxury that many women do not have. It requires a single income that can support a household completely and a relationship where death, disease, divorce, disability, desertion or detrimental treatment by the providing partner, are not even remote possibilities.

@@alieninthecaribbean Wrong. Divorce, death, desertion, disability, are always remote possibilities. That's the chance you take when you get married. But most women in American anyway -- will not experience death, disease or disability until they are older and their kids are grown. As for divorce, the overwhelming majority of divorces are initiated by the wife. If you decrease your standard of living you can be a stay-at-home mom. But these career women don't want to do that. Then they complain they have too many responsibilities.🙄

alieninthecaribbean I always see people saying this and I don’t buy it. My husband’s income is quite low and I’m able to stay home. We have 2 cars, no debt and we are not exactly starving. Maybe we don’t have fancy things and do have to endure a bit of judgement from others but I honestly don’t see why more families can’t do what we do except that materialism probably motivates them to a degree.

it's a shame medical field has been reduced to almost only trauma /emergency. there's so much more to apply these stuff in more laid back way(called preventive measures).

@@effexon it is a shame but I think it will change.

@@LITTLEMUSTANGFILLY I hope so. it is more ecological and cheaper that way. Much less "action film" -like(I guess people also think adrenaline is a measure of prioritizing things, ie. how much pressure it gives, which is wrong way to manage things), but that is life.

I quit too!! I’m a paralegal now at a chill office!! The medical field burned me out in 14 years!!!❤️

@@effexon its so disappointing how little knowledge/care people have for their health. Mostly due to lack of efforts toward awareness/education

No choise would be the answer

@@SpaceTimeMimic Ultimately it's a matter of dividing the combined work load consisting of the work on job and in the home. Traditionally women took care of the home, cleaning, child rearing and making food. Why? Because she didn't work and her man did. It can be fair that the woman in a relationship cooks and cleans if she works part time and her man works 50 hours a week.Subsequently it wouldn't be fair that one partner did all the work at home if both spent equally much time or effort on their respective jobs. The men in relationships to this day spend more hours a week on their work than women do so that factors in to why women still take on more of the work in the home. That isn't to say that there aren't other reasons such as men on average being less willing to cook, clean and do child rearing even when they don't work more than their female partner.

@@tarkamlokar9709 Spot on. In my opinion the talk presented a very superficial analysis on this subject. Men these days probably work more hours than their grandfathers did, if housework is included, and so do women since they're now in the workforce as well. As such, while I think it's wonderful that women are able to pursue careers they're interested in, the reality is that as a consequence we all work and stress more and the pay for individuals is less than it used to be. It's harder to support a family with only one salary now. And for most people work means a job, a necessity, not a career. On the other hand it also sometimes happens that the woman stays at home while her husband works long hours but thanks to all she's been told about equal housework, women's rights and all she still demands the household chores be split in half. And absolutely fails to understand why this is not just. Just a personal anecdote.

@@Mahtijanisthe talk, was a trying to help women to stay healthy: nobody said men could not profit from the idea. Women care for the elders, the children and the men; women wich are married have shorter lives compered to unmarried women....when the spouses work the same hours, the women do all the houshold chores, because they care to much, most divorced or unmarried persons with children to care for, are women, and don't even mention third world countries... where just women are given micro credits to nurture their families...because they care more. Tell me who cared for you, when you where ill, when you where a child:...mother.

I was married to a woman who never repaired the central heating or chopped the wood, never plastered a ceiling or installed additional electric sockets, never made any leadership decisions or carried furniture upstairs . In fact she had not the slightest idea how to do any of these things. She did cook and clean though and I didn't burn out. In fact I rather liked it.

Must be nice to have that option.

but why?

Esharido As a man I have done the same, during a very stressed out and existential crisis phase of my young adulthood. It is a very complex issue why we tend to do this, you have likely faced similar stress doing the same in one of many manners.

Hi Pelpina!

Doormat syndrome.

Always make sure you are #1. Make yourself whole so you can help others whole. Doesn't work the other way around. Can't give what you don't have.

Have a cookie.

You don't get it. Not at all. Your a blue pill white knight. Need to grow up.

If you can't relate with some of the men sharing these complaints then you obviously dont work 50+ hours a week and share enough of the house work load with your wife.

@@ThisIsMattsLife if both you and your wife are working and your sharing housework I would say that that's fair if you are working and she is not and she does all the housework I would say that is fare but for both people are working and only one of them has to do housework that is not fair if you cant afford for 1 of you to stay-at-home and take care of all the things that home life requires in other words at both of you have to work then you should both help out but I find that overwhelmingly men don't like housework and they don't like child care and most of the men I meant will find reasons to avoid it

@Barbara Ann Yeah, I don't know anyone in relationships like this. Most of my lazy guy friends are all bachelors living in a pad together and the married men are grinding both at work and at home. I don't care how hard any one person works it's still going to take both the man and the woman to take care of a house if they are both working full time. That's a very stressful work load for couples who want to live a healthy lifestyle (clean house, healthy food, well kept yard, repaired house, well raised children). I do have some friends who are married and the wife is unemployed and the husband works, so the wife takes on the lions share of the house work.

+Emily Mervyn Exactly. In any video that talks about women's rights without mentioning men, the first ten comments are almost always along that line. twitter.com/probirdrights/status/368542088897372161

Thank you for commenting that! Finally someone is voicing that opinion too! 😊

Hahahaha, strangely accurate

yesss

Barbra Nowa I can’t tell if this is a compliment or an insult:)

Inflated cost of housing is depended of other things...

No just that. I would say the cause is our relentless consumption growth and fighting our basic biology.

@Jak świat się kręci. Funny how corporate slavery is only mentioned when the conversation is about women's economic independence. No one's out here barking at men saying they should quit their jobs and render themselves housebound instead of being "corporate slaves". Guess it's ok to enslave men then.

KINGREXBABI Totally agree.

Haha, not exactly :) She admitted that it is not fair that in partnerships with both working parents that the woman also still does the majority of the housework alone (unpaid work). So don't be a father if you can't imagine finding time for your mission in this world :)

nuagebleu88 Majority of mothers in a two income family work less hours than men. So the women do most the dishes and laundry. Big whoop. However, men should be more involved in the parenting department.

I've been a stay at home, a part time and a full time worker. I come home everyday feeling stressed about what to make for my family trying to get my family to help me keep our home nice so we have clean dishes to eat and clothes to wear. Its not easy when society is telling us we can be super woman and mom. we can NOT without a society that is supportive.

I agree, and thank you for getting it. A lot of fathers suffer too, not bejng able to see your kids because of breadwinning sucks too... but sadly, that blinds many men of the reality thier partners go through as mentioned above... saying one doesnt cancel or ignore the other.

+Lori Carden Maybe u should run more. Increase ur aerobic efficiency. Then you won't need the oxygen mask.

melovescoffee

same. not having kids and generally being a recluse has saved stopped so many problems before they could start

100% agree with you.

positive ninja That sounds bad. That is not a better state of being.

Jacquline Ard I think women need to start admitting to themselves that they do not enjoy living life how men have lived it for centuries. And there’s nothing wrong with that. All of the things you are avoiding for work to lessen stress are the average job conditions men work in. I think women are ignoring just how much stress men work in. Men have a higher rate of suicide by a lot. Men have over 90% job related death rate. Modern life is hard for both men and women. I have a daughter. I cannot convey the absolute joy she brings me on a day to day basis. The love I have for my daughter is the deepest love I’ve ever felt. Those two things make all the stress of motherhood seem like it’s nothing. Don’t be so quick to deny yourself that most wondrous of experiences in life.

My Wednesday will be spent seeking Wellness and application from The Word found in the Bible.

The talk was Excellent.