The Power of Self to Heal Our Parts | Richard Schwartz, Soren Gordhamer | Wisdom 2.0 2017 

Me too, as it feels somewhat 'scripted' and not quite genuine. I get it works for many, but it's not right for all and it really irritates me when therapists try and do this as a 'one size fits all' treatment and become angry with the client for saying no. Unless someone has the proper resources and safety nets around them, this can be dangerous.

Thnx ❤

​@@PetaL72if a therapist becomes angry then one needs a new therapist. There are so many protocols against bringing their own parts into sessions (using ifs speak) and if that's where they are at,they cannot create a safe container with their OWN Self, so you're right it is dangerous. Not from ifs but from someone unsafe to hold a trauma informed space

That's beautiful!

Matt Kahn wrote a book "Whatever Arises Love That"

🙏

”Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." Philippians 4:8 King James Bible.

"what's in your way"

its not the only way! but its one way! There's all kinds of therapy practices some work for others and some don't :)

Was this life long depression? Or an acute episode? I only ask because I'm 60 yrs old and have been depressed my entire life. The result of death of parent early in life and then more trauma in the form of emotional physical abuse etc. I wonder if it's possible to help this. Things have been getting worse for the last 10 years if that is even possible. Thank you

@@Grungefan2018I was diagnosed with PTSD and major depressive disorder. The depression has been a long term issue going back to childhood, and the PTSD was from losing my mom to suicide about 7 years ago. I absolutely think you could be helped by trying IFS therapy with a therapist you like and psychedelic sessions (ketamine or psilocybin) at a certified clinic or with a professional facilitator in your home. Worth a shot, and at the very least you gain a deeper understanding of how your mind works.

#Bethany Brittain, did you do it by yourself, without a book or therapist? Thank you and Im happy it helped you!

Bianca OL I’ve been working alone.

Hi Denise, I've had really good results with parts work. I was wondering how you incorporate the emdr with it. Do you do it on your own while you're doing parts work?

I would love to also know how you incorporate EMDR?

Yes, that is what I have tried and it works. Blending EMDR with the IFS therapy is very powerful.

@@tjskyye9409 at what stage are you Using the lateral eye movement? When you identify a part that you reject? When you're getting to know it? When you feel what it would do if it wasn't protecting you? Any more insight would be appreciated greatly, thank you! And I'm happy that it's worked really well for you!!

I have used IFS in conjunction with Reiki and the results are excellent.

I so agree ❤

Yes but many parts are not enemies

I love these similarities.

@@patriciagriffin1505 none of the parts are enemies. Some may just be stuck in unhelpful roles due to trauma or attachment injuries.

Are you in the US, if so what state?

@@joannaquanttumphysics I'm in the UK so cant advise one sorry!

@@aca986 i'm i the uK - can you advise please?

the inner child concept is a good entry point metaphor for a lot of people though

I'd like to see someone come together with a theory and therapy grouping all these together, also personality types from Jung, Myers-Brigg and Bebee, with protective and critical parent, the child, etc ! The "attachment theory" with the "ideal parents figures" imagination sounds also quite powerful.

JG Alegria I think of inner parent as Self

I found it gives more tangible techniques to access Self (or Loving Parent) than Inner Child work that I came in contact with. I tried doing Inner Child work before IFS and just had not tools to access Loving Parent and would just hand that role by error to another young part that was terrified of making a mistake and harming the inner child further. It was a mess. This gives me concrete steps to access the Self and check if I am in Self.

Advanced Raymondology wow! the loving caring motherly part of me just wants to sooth the Scared dude...like to hold him near and sush him "shh baby, it.a alrigth, it.s alright,it.s over now, calm down baby,i.m sorry you.re bullied, those motherfuckers dont know what they are talking about! you are so lovely, baby, i love and adore you little one!" and hold him tight and lay down with this kid and kiss him into slumber...

Trees For Life Ong that was beautiful. Thank you for your lovely comment.

Trees For Life Ong and I will try that! Instead of getting frustrated with Scared Dude, I'll try comforting him more. I could see that working!

I like the analogy of the scared child too. A lot of times if you don't give a screaming child attention, the screaming gets louder and louder until you simply can't ignore it. What I think might be happening with you too, is that scared dude gets louder and louder, and your critic steps in and starts criticizing sacred dude until scared dude shuts up. But because scared dude doesn't get heard, his concerns become bigger, less rational, and more outrageous. When you notice the critic, listen to it, thank it for wanting you to overcome your fears, but ask it to step back. Get to know scared dude. How old is he, or how old does he think you are? What circumstances caused him to get to this point? What is he trying to keep you safe from? Sometimes narrowing it down to a certain event helps you to see patterns in where that exact feeling of fear came up over and over again, even in unrelated scenarios. Thank the scared dude for working so hard to keep you safe. Even if it has set you back, feel gratitude that it was all out of concern for your well being. Apologize for not listening to him and validating him sooner. Doing this will help ease him to the point of not being so big. Help him do his job by listening to him, evaluate the fears, and whether or not they're rational. As you continually listen to what scared dude has to say, you'll likely find that he speaks up a lot less over irrational things. Accept him as part of your family, and his screaming, so to speak, will probably be soothed.

In the Jung/MBTI/Beebe's model, you'd need to learn to differentiate the child and the trickster... the trickster may be useful to protect the child from the attacks of the angry parent (the senex/witch, often an angry voice), but it can pose problems in real life (maybe tricking you into resting to get comfort and rest instead of reacting positively)... Another very different approach is the "attachment theory therapy", see this Ideal Parents Figures video ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-z2au4jtL0O4.html which focalizes on healing issues from early childhood originating from parents care. Too much information...

I'm guessing some parts might, and others definitely won't. At least, not untill some work is done to change things.

Yes that’s a good point. This feels like a really private practice.

I'm skeptical about this type of therapy

Its always devastating when any therapist abuses their power, whether they are an IFS therapist or any other therapist. Feeling tender towards your exploited part

I hope you can share your abuse with a new, qualified therapist.

Kim this needs to be reported...

@@Uneekname Is this type of therapy an Evidence-based Practice?

You need time, there are a lot of parts, and sometimes you think is the self but there is a part involved, be patient and constant. The problem is that you have been feeding them for years don't expect to heal in a few weeks. Good luck

If you're working with a practitioner / therapist, they will stand in for your Self if you cannot unblend from your parts... might be worth having a session or two?

@@alegriart thanks for sharing this book, I'm going to look it up and try it :)

Parts work = Shadow work with much much better theory and guidelines

R0N1N wow, thanks for making it so clear! i agree so

@@r0n1n- such a good answer, thank you!

@@r0n1n- I'm left wondering why Schwartz appears to 'reduce' the archetypes to parts alone and not attribute the healing qualities of the Self to the archetypes.

Its not just seeing them but incorporating them into a unified self. Its a process but it allows for every fragmentation that lives inside to have a voice, meet their needs and either release, incorporate or allow them a different role.

The Frustrated part, any emotion or feeling can be a part. So when he says he feels frustrated towards the Inner Critic, that is a part. Then Richard Schwartz asks that part to step aside to allow them to approach the inner critic.

Noticed that too, perhaps a case of the wounded carrying forward the work, his protector trying to inflate his image. At least in his writing he acknowledges that he still struggles with his parts.....

The Dalai Lama absolutely loves his fame and rockstar status, none of us are zen gods. We're all human.

That's an interesting interpretation you have of what happened because I didn't see it as Dick trying to "one up" the Dalai Lama. I saw it simply as him bringing up an exchange that he had with the Dalai Lama. I am sure the Dalai Lama would have already known about the inward directing of love/compassion/kindness and would have agreed with Dick. He brought it up because the Dalai Lama is well known for having directed compassion and kindness towards oppressors and people on the outside. That's my interpretation. I'm not seeing any inferiority complex or unhealthy ego expressing but just as bit of humor and explanation at work.