Unfortunately, the mental connections PTSD makes in the mind can be unpredictable and frequently come on very suddenly without much warning. For outside observers, it can often appear illogical or like a ridiculous overreaction to something that doesn't warrant such a strong response. Even if a part of his mind can justify that he's reaching for positive memories to further his goal, the rest won't necessarily agree, and reacts solely to the emotions he's feeling rather than any logic he can throw at it. In this case, Aqua searched for happy memories in an attempt to approach emotional acting by genuinely feeling the emotion he wants to express in acting. In doing so, he genuinely felt those happy emotions, which in turn triggered the guilt complex he's built around the death of his mother, his inability to prevent it, and the self-punishment he's leveled against himself for this perceived failure. "What right do I have to feel happiness when she's dead?" "I'm betraying her by feeling anything positive." "I can't enjoy this, or else I'm losing sight of why I'm here." Imo, Aqua embodies a lot of the uglier symptoms that can result from severe trauma. He's separated himself from his own feelings both positive and negative, is very emotionally dysregulated, and does things that hurt others out of a desire to protect them from perceived threats (real or imaginary). He likes to present himself as coolly logical, but his actions are more reflective of someone reacting to emotions and triggers that he isn't fully aware of. He struggles to express his true feelings both to others within the story and to us, the audience. He doesn't understand himself and can't explain himself fully as a result. He's also a teenager (even if he has memories of a past life) and undergoing all the physical, hormonal, and emotional changes that occur in that stage of life. That's my take/opinion on it at least, lol. Take it as you will!
******SPOILER******* In the last arc of the manga, Frill goes on a rant about how it is easier for actors to not just simply "pretend" their emotions, but to actually *feel* them so they can be properly in sync with their character. She gives the example of how whenever she has a character that has romantic feelings for another, she will end up actually feeling in love with her counterpart during the shooting process. So, this all definitly goes in line with how you described the process that triggered Aqua's trauma by feeling happy.
Start a youtube channel! I’d love to watch your break downs . This is exactly what I thought. I kinda wanna start a channel myself. I was a psych major and sociology major .. I love discussing characters like this from a psychological pov
12:13 It's guilt. Guilt can be insanely irrational and still be so strong that you can't do anything about it. Getting rid of guilt especially that strong takes huge mental capacity and a lot of time, Aqua suppressed every emotion he has because of his guilt and he didn't even start working on it so he is *far* from being more open and "normal" Like Akane said it's PTSD, he can't resolve this trauma on his own but because of his stubbornness he doesn't go to therapy therefore he won't be getting over this anytime soon
As a mom I think I can understand how guilt can be completely illogical. Like when I leave my kids with family for a couple of hours to get stuff done or even have some time to myself, I feel a lot of guilt even though I know that they’re happy and having a good time. So I think Aqua’s guilt is a lot stronger and very illogical.
@Hwaryun666 it's omega out of context spoilers. And a reveal that doesn't happen until way later. It's more of an Easter egg for manga readers because, like I said, anime duders have no context for those files.
@@SirGatrasI think I read a folder-related noun in the comments of this channel before. I hoped I would forget it by the next time I saw it, but it seems that didn't happen. It's like I've been robbed of the great emotion I was supposed to get from this anime. I hope Lala hasn't found that same comment.
Raida mentioned that the reason they don't start off with the scriptwriter and mangaka working directly together is that it often destroys projects; be it due to friction between the two, fighting over control, etc. The process shown to us with the game of telephone definitely has its problems, but having them in direct contact is not going to work a lot of the time, and is therefore not necessarily "the obvious choice".
I believe what happened was that Aqua allowed himself a moment to experience joy for himself without the thought of it being beneficial for his revenge or not. His subconscious was telling him he was undeserving of it as he is trapped in his own cycle of revenge no matter what.
I'm not a manga reader... but if I were to guess, he's probably involved with helping Aqua find whoever their dad is. Maybe those files were digital versions of what Akane did, which was have an entire board of post-it notes, containing Ai's history and everyone who was connected to her?
I love how Nyla are chill the whole time ur recording, but after you finish she just went full mama's girls mode 😭💕 she knows that her mama is woking awwee
12:30 What I took it as is after going to that tramatic moment where AI died Aqua put a cap on his emotions. He pretty much locked them in a box so they wouldnt effect him or his mission. But in order to do the emotional acting Aqua has to let those emotions outta the lock box. So the happy emotions come out but the stronger dark depressing emotions come out too and overwhelm the happy ones. It not really about whether he tryna complete the mission its just how his emotions are.
The stars in Akane's eyes don't 100% mean she's acting like Ai. As we know, Ruby and Aqua also have one in their eyes. The star implies their talent, and it's not something that is limited to Ai. For Akane, her talent is basically being highly deductive and piecing everything together, which helps her understand her acting roles. We even saw it in episode one, when she was trying to get into the character of Princess Saya. This time, when she was talking to Aqua, she didn't change her voice tone to Ai's cheerful or joking tone, but kept her soft and shy style, implying that she was still herself. But with a lot of new information about Aqua and his situation.
You brought up a good point about the subconscious being the way it was but I think it's more like he doesn't have a face to put his anger towards since he doesn't know who his father is so he hates himself instead
Geez what a way to start a battle of the introspectives this episode. Abiko having a breakthrough in communication, Raiga being assertive in his responsibility, and Goa having the proper insight. This is really where the theatre stage play begins since the show is going to explore the levels of acting with stakes this high. However, an "Anamoly" like Aqua "Sensei" in reference to the next level of acting is literally causing him to relive and awaken the trauma that his "true" self rejects. We can't necessarily blame Kana for keeping it real and her advice. But who better to put the pieces together than the method actor prodigy? This is just excellent writing all around with this episode and its little easter eggs.
It's presented more clearly in the manga (and I actually prefer how it was shown in the anime), but the shadowy figure isn't just his "subconscious," it's a manifestation of Gorou, his old self. They explained in season 1 how there's almost a divide between Aqua and Gorou's personalities because of Aqua's mental state as a growing teenager and the things that have happened to him. It's specifically the Gorou side of him that doesn't believe he deserves to be happy, like that personality blames Aqua for not being able to save Ai. There's also the fact that Aqua's always been cold and logical, so even if Ai's death is always on his mind, he looks at it from a rational perspective as the reason he's on his revenge mission. Being forced to dig up the emotions involved with that event is what causes him to break down, because he typically refuses to view it from an emotional perspective.
Maybe he supressed that emotion he was feeling when its about his mom and he cant control how he feels.. or like he reminds himselfs that he cant be happy until he finds his mom's killer
The way I see it, the fact that he's driven by revenge is a big indicator that he blames himself for Ai's death. The revenge is this attempt to 'make up' for the fact that he couldn't save her. The point is that everything he's doing is BECAUSE he can't move on from the past. His revenge IS the giant neon pink sign of how much he's suffering. We're just seeing the moments when the anger, hatred and determination can't cover the giant boiling pot of grief and self-loathing that caused his panic attack.
I envy actors that can completely ignore the shame of acting silly and dramatic, i worry too much about self image and don't get to have as much fun as them lol
Why this episode did Kana so dirty? First, she started bragging about how she “knows Aqua best,” only to have her minutes later asking him about his dead mom. Then, she got jealous just because Akane went to make sure Aqua was okay. What is happeninnnggg? 😭
@@phiz8092 That is exactly my point. If the author of the story wanted to make a statement about how Kana doesn't really know everything about Aqua, why did they decide to do it that way? ☹️
@pau0002 because what kana said is true in order to bring forward emotions when acting. It's not like what kana said was wrong. Otherwise, she wouldn't have said anything at all 💀
I don't know if this is intentionally written this way in the story or not, but it just irritates me how the girls are fighting for Aqua's attention. First of all the girls are pick mes :S and on top of it he is so obviously disinterested in romance. His entire being is dedicated to Ai.
