No video :(

The REAL Reason I'm Never Having Kids as an Amputee...

Подписаться 1 млн

Просмотров 202 тыс.

50% 1

People ask me in just about every Q&A and livestream if we're planning on having kids - and here is my real, honest answer. 💜
Adorable puppy videos if this isn't the subject for you today:
• Funniest & Cutest Germ...
------------------------------------------------
WANT TO SUPPORT THIS CHANNEL? //
PATREON: / jobeckwith
Thank you SO much for considering supporting my channel! You can check out our Patreon community above!
If you’d like to chip in as a one-time donation, I truly appreciate that more than you know, and you can find the ability here: paypal.me/footl...
CAMEO (have me send you or a loved one a personal video message!) www.cameo.com/...!
MERCH!
teespring.com/...
SPEAKING
Want me to come and speak at your event, conference, meeting, panel, or school? Fill out this form to submit a request!
www.footlessjo...
THANK YOU so much!
---------------------------------------------------
CONNECT WITH ME //
Instagram: / footlessjo
Twitter: / footlessjo
Facebook: / footlessjo
Tik Tok: @FootlessJo
My Website: www.footlessjo.com
My 2nd Channel, @Trauma Talk : / jo2am
----------------------------------------------------
CONTACT ME //
MY P.O. BOX:
Jo Beckwith
3578 Hartsel Drive #615
Colorado Springs, CO 80920
E-MAIL ME:
www.footlessjo....
----------------------------------------------------
MY STORY //
Fourteen years of pain and failed ankle surgeries brought me to 2018, when I made the difficult decision to become a twenty-seven-year-old below-the-knee elective amputee. This channel is to document my journey of amputation surgery, recovery, and reclaiming my life.
MY PROSTHETIC LEG:
I use the Ossur ProFlex XC Torsion foot/ankle with a direct socket with passive vaccum suction.
MY AMPUTATION STORY - IN VIDEO:
Why Did I Lose My Leg? • HOW I BECAME AN AMPUTE...
How I Said Goodbye To My Leg: • COME WITH ME ON A GOOD...
Seeing My Amputated Leg for the First Time: • Seeing my amputated le...
Day in the Life of an Amputee: • A Day in the Life of a...
----------------------------------------------------
MY EQUIPMENT //
Camera - Canon EOS M6 (Video Creator Kit): amzn.to/2OVcjim
Camera Mic - Rode VideoMic: amzn.to/33FPanU
Sitting Mic - Blue Yeti Mic: amzn.to/33GJOsW
Gorilla Pod: amzn.to/32oGWjU
Ring Light: amzn.to/2nTRBEr
MY MUSIC & CREDITS //
The music contained in this video can be found at Artist.io - artlist.io/Jor...
The End Credit music is “Summer Snow” by Low Light/Nick Kingswell
Thank you so much for listening - you make a real difference in my life, you enable me to be able to do what I love, and I am beyond grateful!
Some of the links above may contain affiliate marketing
#amputee #amputationstory #doallamputeesthinkthesame

Опубликовано:

25 авг 2024

Ссылка:

Скачать:

Готовим ссылку...

Добавить в:

Мой плейлист

Посмотреть позже

Комментарии : 2,5 тыс.

@thelazysewist4737 3 года назад

After our first child we got so so many questions about when we were having another baby and after 8 years and 4 miscarriages we finally had another boy. And no sooner then he was born we were asked if and when we were going to have a girl. Two years after that we had twins one boy and a girl and then we were asked if we had a tv and why we weren't on birth control. I have learnt that it doesn't matter what your situation is there will be people, friends, family and strangers who feel the need to comment and they don't seem to care how tactful they are or aren't.

@andrewsld 3 года назад

Ugh. People are so ridiculous.

@thomaszimmermann5408 3 года назад

This is SOOO true and so sad at the same time. My wife and I really wanted Kids, but we found out we couldn't. So, we got the same questions as her: When will you have children? People are so inconsiderate of what their questions can cause in the people they ask. When we were over the fact and sort of comfortable with how things are, I sometimes took this as an opportunity to teach people that it is none of their concern. I "played" offended, blurted out that we can't for medical reason in a way that bystanders could hear it and know the other person just asked an inconsiderate question...

@catlover7770 3 года назад

I am still young but I know everything about babys and children but my mum always says to me when you have kids, when you have kids, when you have kids and what's always on my mind is what if I dont want kids what if I cant have kids what if I'm single and dont want a husband and kids would be to much if it was just me living alone so I feel like I have to have kids if I can when I'm older because my mum always talks about when I have kids but after waching this video I realized I dont have to have kids so this video real,y helpedcme

@debralum9118 3 года назад

Ouch! People have foot in mouth disease sometimes!

@maureenogorman8740 3 года назад

@@debralum9118 like saying that comment to a person with no foot probably qualifies.

@d14551 3 года назад

"I don't want to be a mom." And that's a perfectly valid reason, no more needs to be said.

@bowendevin2070 3 года назад

I know Im kind of off topic but does anyone know of a good site to stream newly released tv shows online?

@kaysenterry9642 3 года назад

@Bowen Devin Flixportal =)

@bowendevin2070 3 года назад

@Kaysen Terry thank you, I signed up and it seems to work :D I really appreciate it !

@kaysenterry9642 3 года назад

@Bowen Devin glad I could help :)

@Efran19786 2 года назад

@@bowendevin2070 One that I know of is called Plex

@ChristopherCLindner 2 года назад

As a 36 year old dude, I definitely do get this question. I'm at the age where most of my friends have kids now, and have made comments ranging from (unprompted) "well it's okay if you don't want kids" to (again, totally unprompted) "maybe you can date someone younger and still have kids - you never know!" Some folks will ask me if I want kids, and respect my answers usually, but some folks have given me the whole "your life is meaningless until you have kids" speech. The most intense was my mother, who sobbingly told me one day that all her friends have grandkids, and it was "unfair" that she will never get to be a grandmother. That being said, I think the conversation is different for dudes. I think we get it less than women, and there's less judgement if I just say I straight up don't want kids. Men aren't necessarily expected to want kids. To that point, I really do like kids and even went to school to be an elementary teacher at one point. I just don't want my own at this point in my life. Amusingly, back then, people would give me weird looks and ask me "don't you want to teach high school?" when I'd tell them, because teaching elementary is apparently unacceptable as a dude. Sometimes you can't win with people and just gotta live your life the way you want.

@SummaGirl1347 2 года назад

Best line I've ever heard about this issue: "I love tigers but, I wouldn't want to own one". The most frustrating thing for me is how other women treat you. It's like they think: "Well, you don't have children so, we have nothing in common so, there is no reason for us to be friends." #Childfree

@lambdaman3228 2 года назад

> "Well, you don't have children so, we have nothing in common so, there is no reason for us to be friends." This is pretty much right. It's okay to be frustrated by it, but a mother has very little in common with a non-mother they just met. Having a child is one of the most transformative things a person can choose to do in their life. So much so that it leaves you little in common with your past pre-child self, let alone a pre-child stranger you could make friends with. That's one of many reasons people get depressed after having children. It's like your old self kind of disappears and you transform into a 24/7 caregiver. Not exactly friend making material.

@wendybird1824 2 года назад

@@lambdaman3228 if being a mother is all that a woman has going for her... the only thing that interests her... ohh she needs therapy and a hobby. a woman can have friends and be a mother. as a childless woman who has plenty of female friends with kids. this way of thinking is somewhat obtuse.... and i don't mean that in a mean way.

@lambdaman3228 2 года назад

@@wendybird1824 Of course you're a childless woman telling women with children that they need therapy and a hobby. It's fine if you don't have children, but don't pretend you know what it's like or that you can judge women who do. You don't and you can't. You aren't out making mom friends, you're keeping friendships alive that were mede before children.

@jadecoolness101 2 года назад

What's even worse is the mothers who don't have a complete elitism complex over non-breeders. At least the ones you mentioned have the decency to tell you their attitudes straight up (women are only worth their time if they're also breeders) But then the ones that ARE willing to be friends with you expect you to be a free babysitter because "well it's not like YOU have ACTUAL responsibilities like ME!" Honestly just avoid them all.

@psychoPilgrim36 2 года назад

@@jadecoolness101 do u even love ur mom

@Iloveflower2024 3 года назад

I remember saying this to my brother the day my niece was born: “I don’t want kids, but thank you so much for making me an aunt!” Works for me! ♥️

@pawprints1986 3 года назад

Same!! You get your dose of kids but then they also go home 😉 perfect middle ground!

@Mica1 3 года назад

This is going to be me this summer!

@timandshannon03 2 года назад

That's a great response! Auntie and Uncle is the next best thing! You get the cool moments, but ultimately you can go home. I'd much rather see a happy Aunt or Uncle vs a miserable Mom or Dad.

@erinbanana22 2 года назад

I love that response. It's not demanding, it's putting the focus on your excitement for their new child and takes that expectation off of you by saying what you don't want. Love it.

@GoddessOfThree 2 года назад

I would LOVE to be an aunt! I can hang with kids *only when I want to,* and *because* I want to not because I have to, and grow old surrounded by younger familial generations, without having to actually have a baby or raise a kid or do any of the "mom" things I don't want to do (which is literally every single one of them). A little dose of kids here and there is great. Being deadass responsible for one is not (to me). So let me babysit my family members' kids once in a while and then send them home and we'll call it a win-win 🙏

@jessa.4529 3 года назад

"This bloodline dies with me" is always a good reply.

@KristiContemplates 3 года назад

That's the line I've given my children to use whenever someone asks them why they're not having kids of their own (none of them want to procreate)

@8e11e 3 года назад

Will be using this now.

@curiousfirely 3 года назад

A response I heard was 'I promised my first born to an evil wizard, and don't want to make good on the deal.'

@23Firedude 3 года назад

Your reasons for not having children are personal and you and your husband don’t owe anyone an explanation why you don’t have children. MYOFB would be my response to anyone who asks me.

@kyaraAthena 3 года назад

Oh geez!!! I need to use this line next time I get the question!

@laurenstoler6889 2 года назад

The way your dog comforts you when you told the story is so heartwarming ❤️❤️❤️

@fighterinmkiwiscience3517 2 года назад

Lol 😂 he wants treat 😡 go outside of your little imaginary mind

@Gumbier_Than Год назад

Sophie seems to be a sweetheart.

@SweetXDarkchild 2 года назад

Wow this is really good timing. I was literally walking through my house, cleaning, and this wave of sadness came over me because both my husband and I don't want kids. But making that decision is hard at times. We just don't want kids. But every time someone asks do you have kids/when are you having kids, why do they almost always follow up with "you'll change your mind". It's frustrating. My entire life I've struggled to find my own voice and make decisions for myself though I had people always encouraging me to do so. Now that I've made a decision with my husband, it feels like everyone is back pedaling saying "nope, wrong decision, try again". So thank you. We don't HAVE to have kids and I really needed to not feel alone in that right now.

@silverghostcat1924 Год назад

Two good responses, "No, I won't" or "Why should I?" Early on at 20 I decided I didn't want kids. When asked why I always said "I don't have the patience for kids". Of course they came back with,"You'll learn". To which I replied, "And if I don't?, Who's going to suffer?. It won't be me." Just because people have the ability to have children doesn't mean they should. Too many now that can procreate, but can't nurture.

@misterj597 2 года назад

“I don’t think you need people who don’t want kids having kids.” Omg, thank you for saying this. There are too many people having kids that shouldn’t be having them or doing so out of some sort of obligation. I have no problem with anyone who doesn’t want kids. You do you and don’t t let anyone get you down for it.

@brattrox2939 2 года назад

The only problem I have with people who don't want kids is with the ones who have kids anyways.

@JShdwstar 2 года назад

This is because of restrictive policies by authoritarian leadership in places like #florida , #texas , and other *R* class politician states. If you are rich then it doesn't matter they can have those abortions, Plan B, and other healthcare service; but for the rest of the citizens who don't have the resources they can't afford it. It's a blatant overstepping of their power. When politicians are demanding to control what happens in your bedroom it's time to dump them from your government. They want to control every aspect of your life, and if they can control what happens in someone's bedroom that is the ultimate proof they have control over every aspect of your life, thus they are now #cult leaders.

@camomoose1078 2 года назад

@@JShdwstar Ok. You called rebublican politicians authoritarian cult leaders. You said people that dont want kids having them is their fault, that they force them upon the poor and that they controll what happens in the bedrooms of their countys inhabitants. But you havent named anything concrete that could proove the stuff youre saying. You gotta provide evidence mate. Otherwise you sound like a nutjob. (Im not even saying youre wrong, im not american so ive got no clue, i just whant you to back up your claims. Name a legislation and its effects, you dont even need stats, just please, give the people reading this something to work with)

@justcurious1146 2 года назад

I agree. I have 3 grown kids and none of them want kids but 1 did have one and thats great plus he is a great dad even if it wasnt planned.

@zylleeon8921 2 года назад

I've had people respond to my "I don't want kids" with "You will once you have them!" What even, I'm not going to create a human being on the off chance that I'll change my mind and want to spend 20 years parenting it!

@m.c.mcgrath8690 3 года назад

"I don't want kids" IS a valid reason! I work with kids as teacher and, and have other kids in my life who I am truly grateful for, BUT...does that mean I want kids of my own? Not now, maybe not ever - and if I do there's fostering and adpotion.

@LieutenantSheep 3 года назад

Absolutely! It’s like, do I like dogs? Sure. But I don’t want a dog haha. I know babies aren’t dogs but it’s kind of the same concept

@CJ-bu8mh 2 года назад

Wow, so refreshing as an older lady to hear a young woman speak with such honesty and clarity on this delicate and personal subject. You are definitely not alone. I was married in 1971, right when Ellen Peck's book came out: The Baby Trap. It was how Madison Avenue advertising distorted the reality of being a mom and that it was not desired by some and women needed more honesty in what parenthood really entailed. My husband and I chose to be child-free and our personal reasons were no one's business! We joined a group called NON - National Organization for Non-Parents. We were a poster couple for interviews in Esquire magazine and the Sunday magazine of a big city newspaper. I sobbed when seeing the Esquire article ... title was heartbreaking: Do Americans Suddenly Hate Kids? That was the opposite (!!!) of what we felt and conveyed to the interviewer, who later I learned was a Catholic. He would have been unable to ever accept that a couple has the right to choose for themselves. You Go Girl and stay strong! Just before seeing this video (a new subscriber as of today) my cousin and I said, yet again to each other, how glad we both are that we made that choice decades ago. Yes, even with ridicule and constant questioning by others, with audacity IMHO. However, I have been known to be a very nice Auntie, a role I love and cherish. I did make a difference in my professional and personal life in ways that did not involve having children. Not all of us want to be parents.

@StonedtotheBones13 8 месяцев назад

I really appreciate hearing your perspective. Also childfree, and smthn I find is a reason in a lot of ppl's lists is literally concern for the hypothetical child. Like even if one is capable of being a good parent, I think not wanting the child is an awful thing to put on a child. And sometimes ppl know they would make bad parents and *that's okay*. Like we have 8 BILLION ppl, we really honestly don't need more. And it's interesting to see organizations for the CF! I also v often hear a sense of alienation from ppl bc there's just not v many places where childfree ppl can be honest and not harangued by society.

@CJ-bu8mh 8 месяцев назад

Thank you, I appreciate your commentary too. Being an old lady now, and not meeting any new people who ask if I had ever been married or had kids, I find that a benefit these days. Even meeting many new neighbors over the decades no one has asked me. I was bombarded with the the "When are you going to have kids?" question for a long time when I was an already married teenager and then as a young adult.

@Oopsiees 2 года назад

I dealt with this for awhile. Then at 30 years of age I just up and got my tubes tied. My family gave me so much grief and still 5 years later lecture me on how I made a huge mistake. My husband and I are elated we don't have to worry as much about getting pregnant since we simply never wanted to be parents.

@chuckg2016 Год назад

@Oopsiees People should both respect and admire your honesty. This is one of those intensely personal choices.

@jmas2312 Год назад

No problem, honey. You don’t have to. ❤

@jayare6804 Год назад

It's a shame you didn't have the support from your family, but it's really admirable you stayed true to yourself.

@markpalka6382 4 месяца назад

I admire your honesty! Some people are simply not parent material! And the grief that your family gave you was uncalled for!

@stacyhoefert7979 3 года назад

There’s no point in asking someone when they are having kids. You can just assume the answer will be one of the following: 1) don’t want kids & don’t need to justify it to you 2) want kids, but not now 3) currently pregnant & don’t want you to know 4) struggling with fertility or pregnancy loss

@Andrea-lk6qq 2 года назад

thank you for this list. So many people forget that pregnancy loss, health issues, and fertility issues exists.

@kevinfox500 2 года назад

I'm in that last group. Met my wife, she has a daughter, and it was a package deal. No regrets, except missing the first 4 years. Enjoyed the 21 since.

@tink_a 2 года назад

5) struggle to find a partner who wants to start a family.

@AnnaLVajda 2 года назад

Well I think it's just considered casual conversation too I can't recall how many people asked me about kids in my 20s even my Mom was like when are you going to have kids I was like well I don't even have a boyfriend so ... as if it does not take two lol. Some women don't plan on them then birth control fails or the "clock" starts ticking mid thirties and hormones encourage them suddenly...

@kevinfox500 2 года назад

@@tink_a or find one that obsesses on it, and drops you after 6 years, and no kids, rather than bring up both of us going in to get tested. Welcome to my first marriage. First clue was, she called to tell me she was pregnant, after having left months earlier. Got tested, and Yep, I was the problem. When you want one, well, that's pretty devastating. Even more so once.you start.dating again, because when do you bring that up? When do you decide to pull the pin on that grenade, and risk ending a relationship that's going well? (Yes. Happened a couple times.) Met my second wife anoit the time the first one's eldest was born. Used to watch him for her sometimes. Ended up coming clean with her early on, as she had a daughter. One I loved dearly, and I didn't want to lose them. Turned out she was, and still is, fine with just one. A case of, if that 1 in a trillion comes up, great. If not, one is plenty. That was 20 years ago. Still only one, and my godson. Both are mine where it counts, even if they are not blood. Was there for his birth, and before, because my ex and I took his mom in when she was pregnant, after.dad split. Until age.4, when his dad came along, I was Dad. Still am in many ways. I tell people I have 2 kids. Neither one did I have a part in creating them, but one I raised the first four years of his life, the other, I met when she was 4.

@tombuck 3 года назад

I teach high school and I love my students, but they go home at the end of the day. It’s great. 👍

@constancemc 3 года назад

Best comment ever. That's fantastic. People have that misconception that if you don't want kids, it means that you "hate children". Nah, kids or teens are fun. A few hours here and there.

@hayleymarse2853 3 года назад

I teach mostly pre-K but some elementary school aged kids and I love them all but it is such a relief to send them to their parents

@azelfa423 3 года назад

That's amazing! I feel the same way about my nieces and nephews.

@eliannamorello8257 3 года назад

Hahaha!!!!!!!

@lisa-mariegray5510 3 года назад

Totally! I love my grandkids to bits but I also love it when they go home! 😊

@leahfairs2392 2 года назад

Thank you for the video Jo! I appreciate that you are providing validation to simply not wanting kids to be enough. My husband and I don’t have kids, and I sometimes get this kind of thing. I have Crohn’s disease as the worst of several health problems, and was mentioning to a coworker about going medication for my recently diagnosed ADHD. She said something like “make sure it won’t interfere with having kids! It’s something you and your husband will likely want soon.” I said something about us being a little older to start with me being 35 and him 39. I got this story back about a friend who had her first at 43 and the “your never too old” I had to snap back that “yeah, but maybe that’s not what we want!” I know people who have had kids in their mid 30s and mid 40s, and more us personally, we don’t want to do what they’re doing and be still supporting kids into our 60s, especially with all my health issues. I’m also a high school teacher, so I have about 100 kids per year, and I care a lot about my students, and I have nieces and nephews, so I can enjoy being a part of the community that raises children.

@RealRickCox 2 года назад

I love kids. Never intended on having any of my own. But then my fiance got pregnant... and I absolutely LOVE my son. So while he wasn't planned, he's loved. Something I think *EVERY* couple that doesn't want kids should discuss is how they would handle it if there's an accidental pregnancy. Better to have that conversation early in the relationship. If there's disagreement on that, it will cause huge issues down the road.

@Teetuetenmogli 2 года назад

Yes! Thank you!

@clueless_cutie 2 года назад

Yeah we're certain we aren't having it if it can be helped.

@eccentricvillain 2 года назад

I really like how you said this. It is entirely valid to not want kids and you don’t put that down. While also raising the very important point that you should still have a plan if accidents happen.

@LilaEule2023 2 года назад

While i totally agree with you, that everyone should have that conversation, there are many womans out there, which say they would get an abortion (and really mean that) but than can´t do it, when they are actually pregnant. And thats totally okay and the choice of the woman! I just wanted to say - reading your comment - that every men should keep that possibility in mind. (And probably every woman too)

@jadecoolness101 2 года назад

Couple that doesn't want kids > accidental pregnancy. No discussion needed, abort it.

@JillUdart 3 года назад

Here's a good one: After I got married, I put on a few pounds. People at work were like "OH MY GOD WHEN ARE YOU DUE?" and I would say - "Not pregnant, just fat"

@KristiContemplates 3 года назад

Oh, yeah. I've heard that, a lot

@MariaMendes-eh8by 2 года назад

The exact same thing happened to me. Funny thing was that I was underweight. Went from like 110 to like 120 lbs ( I'm 5ft 8"). My hubs and I worked at the same place and people started congratulating him b/c some crazy lady was telling people we were pregnant. I confronted her and could no longer stand her afterwards.

@goodmorning2386 2 года назад

Here’s one that I’ve used a few times “The father is McDonalds” I don’t even eat McDonald’s often, but it gets the point across and I think it’s funny Edit: also sometimes I say “this is a food baby”

@MJFish 2 года назад

Hahaha so I got the opposite… I got pregnant right away after getting married, and someone I worked with heard me mentioning my husband said my dress made me look like a pilgrim and we’re laughing and he says, “at least he doesn’t day you look pregnant.” We all stopped and stared at him and I asked him what he meant. “Because you’ve let yourself go… since you got married.” Yes… that was horribly rude also. 😂

@anitavaughn1968 3 года назад

My son is 28 years of age. He doesn’t want kids because he doesn’t want the responsibility of taking care of them. He has high functioning autism and made the decision before his diagnosis. He was misdiagnosed ADHD as a child. He’s an awesome guy. He said he’d be content as the fun loving uncle.

@GoddessOfThree 2 года назад

I also have high functioning Autism! And ADHD. But I've never considered my diagnoses as playing a role in my decision. I also just don't want the responsibility that comes with being a parent, and I'm perfectly happy to enjoy my siblings' and/or friends' potential kids rather than ones of my own. I'm sure if I magically ended up with a child like the virgin Mary, I'd love the kid and do my best to treat and raise them well and with the attention and prioritization they deserve. But it would be really fucking hard for me and I'd never get to express that because they wouldn't deserve to feel hurt by knowing that. But it WOULD be hell for me, and the best way to handle that is to... well, just prevent it in the first place 😂 problem solved lol

@scotishjohn 2 года назад

Great idea

@fighterinmkiwiscience3517 2 года назад

Loser 😡

@jeepwran 2 года назад

As a male, I never felt pressured or even recall being asked if I planned to have kids. We discussed having children very early in our relationship (it would likely be difficult) and that neither of us recalled childhood as being something we'd like to revisit vicariously. The idea of adoption was definitely there early on but in the end we've been perfectly happy to be parents/caretakers of our own and other's four legged kids.

@summonsays2610 2 года назад

My mom was so pushy about having grandkids that one time when I was in college she suggested I have a one night stand to achieve it..... not kidding.

@fighterinmkiwiscience3517 2 года назад

You don't have family 😡, that's the reason

@Caitanyadasa108 2 года назад

It always baffles me when people ask such personal questions to total strangers. AS IF you owe them an explanation of any kind.

@alexandragomez2179 3 года назад

I have children by birth, children in Heaven, a child by adoption and children in my care through foster care. Thank you for posting this. The reasons are your own and you have every right to this choice. The world needs people that are not parents and children need parents that are passionate about being parents!

@bruceheitkamp1724 3 года назад

Beautifully said

@Iloveflower2024 3 года назад

Bless you. ♥️ I hope to adopt someday.

@maltie123 3 года назад

Jo I almost teared up when you said.. "I don't want to be a mom." I feel the same way.. I don't want children because I just DON'T WANT CHILDREN, and I LOVE that more women are talking about this! Thank you for this and for all the individuals in the comments! I'm a 28 yr old woman who is childfree by choice and plan to stay that way 😊💕

@SmillyDonut 3 года назад

I also, just don't want children, among other things. You are absolutely not alone.

@tazhorse 3 года назад

Natalie Steffl I too never wanted children. My husband also did not want kids so we are very happy. No regrets. Celebrated our 30th anniversary last week. Still no regrets. We spoil our niece and nephew and that is enough for us. We are both active sports minded and keep busy in retirement with so much. We are not lonely. We are fortunate. I would rather have never had kids and regret then have kids and regret having kids.

@just_another_account8089 3 года назад

Same, I love my furbabies, but I don't want children.

@Michelle-sw9uj 3 года назад

Yes! Why is it so horrible not to like children? So many old folk's children leave them in an old age home never to visit, so what is the point in having them for insurance if they might not look after you in the end? What a waste!

@davidsmock8235 3 года назад

I bet you are glad your parents wanted children. Just saying.

@kristineensor1898 2 года назад

I got this question through my 20s and 30s. When I had my daughter at 40 I thought my friends and family were going to have a parade. It's ridiculous how much focus people put on this. Being a mom is wonderful and exhausting. I don't regret it and I definitely don't regret waiting.

@kristineensor1898 2 года назад

@Bob so am I. I'm in my 40s not 80s.

@katesclabassi3857 2 года назад

@Bob my aunt was 27 when she had my cousin, she has told me it's still exhausting at that age

@mattcizek3629 2 года назад

I'm a guy almost at 50 years old. I used to get pressure to have kids, mostly from my parents. Friends would ask but never pressure. Most pressure was from my father. I still don't have kids. I have nieces and nephews that I helped to raise. I don't feel that I've missed out at all. I love the honesty and sincerity in your videos. Keep up the great work and thank you for being you!

@adamjhuber 2 года назад

8:58 we tried for years, multiple miscarriages, and a premature that passed at six months of age. During this time, we had many people ask us why we don’t have kids. “Well, see…..” In the end, we did have a child who is absolutely amazing.

@SpindlesEnd2 3 года назад

Opposite situation, same thought process. My husband and I just knew we wanted kids, we wanted to be parents, and no one has ever asked me to justify that. The pressure on both of us was more specifically to have boy children. We chose not to find out the gender if our first child (apparently this is a more controversial decision that having kids in the first place!) and my father in law took to asking me how "his grandson" was doing, and referring to the baby as Butch. My dear husband finally asked him to knock it off which he respectfully did. Good thing too, as that baby was definitely a girl! So the pressure around having or not having kids is very real and takes many forms.

@TheBluestflamingos 2 года назад

God, how entitled does a person have to be to think they get to decide the gender of a child that isn't even theirs. Sorry you had to deal with that.

@isaacgates5859 2 года назад

@Julia M. Not just that, but also the name/nickname of the baby

@nakishabauer9806 2 года назад

Your video was shared through a child free page and OMG. as an amputee who just doesn’t want to be a mom, the comments on potentially fostering, adoption… I’ve never felt more seen, validated, heard. Thank you so much.

@mimidavis2686 2 года назад

I have 3 children and 5 grandchildren and wouldn't change a thing about my life but I realize that not all people want this kind of life. Jo, you do you and don't ever be ashamed or concerned about what other people think.

@Black-Swan-007 2 года назад

I recently found the subreddit r/childfree and it's been great to interact with. I knew I never wanted to be a mom. My biggest fear has always been getting pregnant. I've been on hormonal birth control since I was 14. When I was 24 I got sterilized and I was lucky enough to meet a man who was equally child free. We've been together for nearly a decade and it was known that we would never have kids even before we got married three years ago. It's not a sensitive topic for me and I don't get upset when I meet someone knew and they casually ask if I have any kids. I always just say, "No, that's not for me" and I'm thankful that I've never faced any kind of backlash for that. My sister struggles with her fertility. She's been pregnant five times but only given birth twice. I love my nephews to pieces but I would never want to _have_ them. I'll spend time with them at family events but that's about it. I don't really _like_ kids. I certainly don't want harm to come to them and my heart breaks for all the kids in the system who don't have loving homes. But I'm not the person to solve that issue. My four cats are my kids. They are my babies and I'd be lost without them. That's all I need.

@nikkivanwestrienen2050 3 года назад

I'm unable to conceive, I get those questions all the time. I enjoy making people uncomfortable by saying I can't have kids. When I say that, they realize how sensitive a question like that can me. It's our own lives. You're definitely valid in how you feel.

@WifeWithoutKids 2 года назад

Thank you for making a video about this. As someone who has never had the desire to be a Mom it's shocking how many people feel it is their right to pry, be judgmental and treat me differently because of a choice I've made that will never directly affect them. Kids should be wanted and not had out of social obligation because that's what everyone is "supposed to do."

@lijohnyoutube101 10 месяцев назад

Of course they should be wanted and of course it should not be an obligation. However why do you think its than odd to be judged? I think we should judge people that don’t want kids, like how does a human get THAT broken? Its a valid choice and kids are insanely hard so certainly don’t have them if you don’t have them. But it IS because something is broken.

@bells_in_your_head 2 года назад

Tbh, that has been my response since I was 15….but then my mother expected me to get pregnant at 18 (I’m a lesbian) and when I told her I didn’t want kids, she told me I wasn’t going to be a real woman until I gave birth…..I think that fucked with my head because I’ve found myself “wanting” to get pregnant…but I do not want to be a mother. Idk. I’m working through a lot of childhood trauma, and this subject is very triggering for me Thank you for sharing this with the world….I appreciate you!

@karagregory69 3 года назад

The dog was like, "Wait, you do have kids, ... Me! Am I not your baby?"

@shellysmith1256 3 года назад

I can’t have kids and it sucks. I wish people would be more sensitive like you.

@nikkiregister91 3 года назад

Sorry to hear.

@Ashesinferno28 3 года назад

@ShellySmith Im really sorry, I hope that you have a good day and that you are proud of yourself for getting through the day (because its hard, ecspecially now)

@AF-ke9by 2 года назад

You put this so much nicer than I did.

@jacklenrandall6456 2 года назад

Sending you hugs!!!

@erinbanana22 2 года назад

Just start screaming it at the askers 😌 then watch them apologize for the next year. It worked on a cousin who decided to put herself in my womb just because she was able to have two back to back two years ago. Shut her up good.

@janecat8753 2 года назад

I'm so glad I'm not alone in this. For the longest time, I kept trying to come up with reasons to not have kids. Like I was justifying the choice, because I felt like I had to. But no, I just don't want kids. I don't like children, I never have, and I have no desire to be a mother. It took me a really long time to come to (and not to mention accept) this conclusion, but I got there in the end. Thank you for talking about this, I feel like it's an important message. ❤️

@claudiaah6603 2 года назад

Me too. I realized that it is not even a question of wanting or not wanting. It’s just not on my mind, ever.

@kneumar717 2 года назад

I am a 30 year old woman, and I have been saying I don’t want kids since I was 12. I love when my friends have kids. I love the idea of being an aunt. I think it’s amazing you’re saying you just don’t want to be a mom. Thank you for just saying it as well because people make me feel like I am lesser than, just because I don’t want to be a mother.

@19irving 5 месяцев назад

I think people know when they're very young if they want kids or not. I knew by age 7; I'm 60 now and my attitude hasn't changed.

@anni7777 3 года назад

Thank you for this video! I never understood why it's considered "selfish" not wanting to have kids. When people say the want kids, the sentence starts with "I want". That's just as selfish as not wanting kids. I've chosen to be childfree and I'm absolutely loving my life. Everybody should be able to make the choice most suitable to their lives and expectations.

@mimithemermaid3860 2 года назад

Actually, a lot of people have kids for selfish reasons. Many because they want someone to have unconditional love for them, which they’ve never had. Or they want children who will take care of them in their old age. Historically, many families had children in order to have free labor on the farm or to send them into the workforce at a very early age, quitting school, so they could help support the family. Thinking about it ahead of time and choosing not to have children, for whatever reason, is the opposite of selfish!!! 👍🏼🥰👋🏼

@steggopotamus 2 года назад

I can't be trusted to take care of myself. I think it would be irresponsible of me to try to add a helpless tiny human into that. That's not selfish, that's considerate.

@sarinafrohn6751 2 года назад

Its not selfich if you cant take care of a kid fore me i don t jave the monny to does that make me selfish no its me wanting the best fore the baby

@GoddessOfThree 2 года назад

Right?? Like, what are you withholding, and from whom, by not having kids? To whom do you have any kind of obligation to have kids? The hypothetical "future kid" who doesn't exist, and never has to? 🤣 It would be selfish to have a kid just because "that's what's done", or to meet some kind of expected societal status/standard, when you don't actually want them. If you have a kid, it should be because you genuinely want to for its own sake, and have the means to do right by that kid.

@mimiwills8610 2 года назад

I've heard that selfish before.

@stephaniejohnson8105 3 года назад

I have three daughters and I have always spoken in terms of “if that is your choice” or “if that is what your future holds”. Their lives are their choices-big and small.

@js9248 2 года назад

I'm very late to this video, but as someone that always wanted kids and cannot have them, this hit home. You not wanting to be a mother is as valid as someone that wants kids. I finally started answering with a real answer of "I can't have them, and it's a painful subject, so thanks for that. Anything else you want to know about my life that is none of your business?" It tends to shut people up quickly. Brava to your friend for answering that way at one point. People need to start thinking.

@raywalker7029 2 года назад

I’ve always believed that the appropriate response to someone telling me that they don’t plan to have kids is ‘fair enough’. People have their reasons or they don’t and both are fine. My childhood best friend never had kids and I’ve never questioned it; why would I?

@fighterinmkiwiscience3517 2 года назад

You are loser 😡and afraid to being judged that's why you didn't question

@chevgage6210 2 года назад

I'm not an amputee, but I suffer chronic pain, full body migraines, a really intense autoimmune disorder, BPD, and schizotypal traits. I don't want to pass on my genetics without a solid structure to manage these issues. I am super open to adoption though. If I do adopt, I'd want to adopt a group of siblings (3 to 5) at risk of being split up in the system.

@MorriAelthyn 2 года назад

As someone with three autoimmune diseases and three kids, I can tell you it's freaking hard. I love them, and even if I *could* go back and not have them, I wouldn't. But if it weren't for my amazing husband they probably would have been taken from me at this point because of the number of times I've been too sick to take care of them. Plus, yanno, the whole guilt at knowing I've passed on these shitty genetics to them - even though I didn't know it at the time.

@camomoose1078 2 года назад

You can still fuck up kids without passing on your bad genes. Please dont adopt unless you are 200% certain that you will be able to keep your issues in check for around 20 years.

@uriel6018 2 года назад

stay safe you guys!

@Jesswithlessstress 2 года назад

I feel you. I don't want another human to suffer through the hell that is my life.

@cabipapcbc6602 2 года назад

I hope you luck if in case you adopt. I think it's an awesome way to improve the life of a child that does not have parents to raise them. You don't have to adopt or have kids tho, wish you a happy life anyway (even with your medical problems) I just really liked to see someome that would adopt a childs that are at danger to being split up by the sistem because that's isn't always the case (even tho is ok if someome choses the other way)

@meganrausch8396 2 года назад

"I don't want kids" is a complete sentence. That IS the reason, it doesn't have to be because of a reason, not wanting them is a reason. But also, NEVER ask anyone about family planning. Period!

@chesneymigl4538 2 года назад

I get frustrated enough to want to poke back with, but did you get pregnant every time you had sex? Unless they are the Duggers, I doubt it. So many years of therapy to finally figure what boundaries were and just how badly people feel compelled to cross them.

@ASLTheatre 2 года назад

Straight male here: My wife often has told me of the questions she gets from others about why we only have 1 kid. She responds it’s hard to get pregnant. (She has a tumor in her brain that screws up her thyroid.) I never push her to have more kids. I always tell her I would love more but I am happy with the one we got. And the one we have is a miracle. I never push for a kid. I simply remind her to take her thyroid and depression medication.

@fighterinmkiwiscience3517 2 года назад

The real reason is you don't waana provide food to them 😡

@keyhimself3542 2 года назад

Your w I f e: I only have one. Society: You gotta at least have 2 so they 1 won't be lonely. Another w o m a n: I only have 11 Society: You gotta at least have a dozen. It never stops.

@lemonshobbies 2 года назад

@@fighterinmkiwiscience3517 No, I’m *prettyy* sure it’s for a more serious reason.

@fighterinmkiwiscience3517 2 года назад

@@lemonshobbies no you are not

@lemonshobbies 2 года назад

@@fighterinmkiwiscience3517 “no you are not” This sentence *is* grammatically correct, but it’s wordy, and hard to read. Grammarly can help!

@jodiforrest9238 2 года назад

Loved this… I had people tell me I’d change my mind. I’m 53 and ZERO regrets.

@brookewilson9117 8 месяцев назад

I’m 29 and people have been pushing me to have kids since I was very young. I don’t want kids and will never have them. People tell me all the time I will eventually change my mind. But I feel fulfilled with my boyfriend and my dog. Very happy this way.

@jodiforrest9238 8 месяцев назад

@@brookewilson9117 it’s your life. You get to decide what will make you happy…

@CaraTheStrange 2 года назад

Since I was old enough to understand the concept I knew I don’t want to be a mother. I’m glad it’s being discussed more that not everyone who can, wants kids.

@amberlynnroberson1961 2 года назад

Same

@dr.lindsaymarie 3 года назад

I love this. I’m in the “I don’t want to have kids club”. 🙋🏼‍♀️ You articulated this topic very well. Thanks for sharing your story and thoughts.

@goodmorning2386 2 года назад

Same here! And I just looked at your channel, it seems really cool. I’m actually aspiring to be a doctor, going to medical school soon so I’m glad to have stumbled across your channel too

@dr.lindsaymarie 2 года назад

@@goodmorning2386 Thank you! Good luck in medical school!

@colinhaney 2 года назад

That's a great point your friend makes, that it could be very hurtful for someone to be constantly reminded they CAN'T have kids, and so many of the expectations society places on people about what their goals SHOULD be are contingent on the assumption that those goals are actually attainable for EVERYONE, which is almost NEVER actually true.

@mehranpritchard4314 2 года назад

I'm adopted and adopting is the GREATEST form of love there is...you are an amazing woman 🙏

@patraic5241 3 года назад

On those occasions when a friend mentioned their preference to have kids or not I've been flattered at their trust. Otherwise I've never been curious. In other words it's none of my business.

@livrose3567 3 года назад

I’m a bisexual woman who has always wanted kids and for me it’s such an important part of my future life to become a mother and be pregnant and experience that. However, so many people have kids because they feel pressured to when deep down they don’t really want to be parents and then wind up resenting their kids or slightly regretting having them and I 100% respect that if a person doesn’t want kids for any reason at all, that’s their choice and I’d rather them just not have kids than have them and not enjoy being a parent because it’s not something they every truly wanted. Kids should be ideally born to people that want them wholeheartedly so it’s not fair to pressure people that don’t want kids into having them

@erictaylor5462 3 года назад

I have always wanted kids, but I gave up my chance when a lesbian couple, who were close friends of mine, asked me to father their child. I just had to be honest and admit I have a serious genetic defect that means any children I might have would have a much higher than normal chance of birth defects. They were disappointed about that because they said I was their only hetro-male friend who respected their orientation. I was just raised to believe it's rude to make a pass at a woman who has made it clear she is not interested. And yes, they were both very attractive.

@LieutenantSheep 3 года назад

Absolutely. There are few things more heartbreaking than seeing a kid love their parents and want to play w them and have their attention and the parent just really doesn’t want any part of that role

@poilaaliop 2 года назад

Also a bisexual cis woman, feel exactly the same way. I hope we're moving to a place where we put less pressure on people to have families. To be honest, I am a little jealous of proudly childfree folks... They'll be happier and richer over their lives, and they won't have to deal with the physical effects of pregnancy that leave many women struggling with their body image. However, my dream is to raise a family. Well, a kid. I don't think I want more than one.

@athenarocks7657 2 года назад

@Hxney Dew present and accounted for. I’m adopted lol

@kevinfox500 2 года назад

And I know a few who are.thankful of the ones that have them, don't want them, and are willing to place them up for adoption. One, an ex and a close friend, has her son because a friend couldn't keep him, and wasn't ready,.when he was born. Like me, she can't have one of her own. That boy is her world..

@lovelylola20 2 года назад

AMEN!!! It’s insane how many times when I’ve told people I don’t want kids have called me selfish and that I’ll change my mind. I’m 27 and a few women in my family never wanted and never had kids, so for me it’s normal. I never expected the backlash of not wanting them. I’m not a kid person and I’m totally ok with that.

@tranquility9325 Год назад

Most ppl dont use logic. So they consider someone not wanting kids as "selfish" but someone who didn't want a girl so violently abused her, her entire life, perfectly ok? BTW, I was the unwanted girl. Abuse is overlooked bec ppl get stuck on trying to tell ppl what they should and should not be doing. We ain't running out of ppl any time soon.

@dolomedestenebrosus9564 2 года назад

Lol yeah. I went through the same. I'm 37. I have always been aware that I didn't want to be a mom but didn't realize for a very long time that this, on its own, is a valid enough reason to give and that I wasn't the only one who felt that way. As a very young child one day I cried to my mom that I was so dreading having children one day, because I had it in my little head that I didn't have a choice. Of course lots of people told me I'd probably or definitely change my mind, but I am thankful to my parents for never pressuring me. But yeah just like you, Jo, I used to list all these reasons, each one on its own a valid one, to explain it to people. I still stand fully behind every one, but the truth is that even if everything was perfect and I didn't have a single "excuse", I would still make the same choice and it is the right choice. The decision to bring a human into the world to be raised by you should never be made lightly and "this is what people are expected to do, maaaybe AFTER I bring a life into the world It'll feel right, better count on that" is a disastrous reason to do it. What an awful thing, to be born and raised by a mother who doesn't truly want you. To choose what feels so wrong deep in your core just because other people tell you you'll suddenly feel totally different about it after making this irreversible, monumental decision, is to make the wrong choice and one of the worst things you can do both to yourself and others. Those people do not know your heart better than you do.

@wg05954 2 года назад

As a father of a daughter (may she RIP), you are the greatest gift your father could have.

@annaburns2865 Год назад

That is so awesome to hear a man say. It’s so hard to navigate this world as woman and to be told that she was put on this earth to give grandchildren to father was so condescending. I mean, I know you get it, but very few people do. Please keep sharing that positivity. This is why songs about a close father daughter relationship like “butterfly kisses” got so popular. Because it’s so rare.

@mayab.8070 Год назад

i'm sorry for your loss; this is a really good way to frame what that guy said

@oreotookie 3 года назад

Thank you! I’m married with two kids, but never considered NOT having kids. I really wish I had. Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids and would probably would still have had them, but being raised the way I was, it just never seemed to be an actual option.

@Praetorian666 2 года назад

Well, Jo…first of all, once more, love the content, and I’m sorry I came to the party THIS late in the game, but oh, well… Regarding your question as to whether or not us cis-het men feel pressured into having children. Short answer? Yes. At least for me. This is my experience and results may vary from person to person. Maybe it’s a cultural thing, but as a 36 year old Mexican, cis-het male, I do feel pressured into having children. I’m a doctor, and children have never been my priority. I’m not saying I’d NEVER have them, that if it does happen (either with the right or wrong person), then great, they’d be loved and cherished and welcomed into the world, but if it doesn’t? Meh, not great loss for me. And the pressure I feel is when my mother told me that after I told her about this and she talked with my father about it, he said: I was hoping the family name would carry on with him, but it’s something we can’t force him to do. I know this is, up to a point, emotional blackmail, but it is still hurtful, because I have two older sisters, and they’re both married and both have children; but here, even now, the family name carries through patrilineally (is that term correct?), and that’s what the whole fuss is about. And I have tried not to give in, because, even when it isn’t something that’d make me miserable, it isn’t something that’s a make-or-break deal for me. I want to see more, do more, be more. And it’s not like children are a barrier or something that’ll make it impossible for me to accomplish these goals, but it’d take you longer. Yes, this speaks of selfishness, but it comes to my career, yes, I am somewhat selfish, because at least for me, it has been a somewhat uphill battle to get to where I am. And then there’s the mental health issues. I have clinical depression and anxiety, and they know this; and still they persisted on pressing on the issue. They’ve stopped…for now, but surely it’ll come back again. I don’t want to break away from them, because they’re overall good people, and I know they want me to be happy, going so far as to talking between themselves about the whole children issue, that as long as I’m happy, it is all that matters…but is it? I’m sorry that their dreams aren’t my necessarily my own, and there was a time when I was much younger that I lived and died for their approval but not anymore. It’s tough facing the realization that your parents are becoming elderly, painfully human and even had to had face my father’s mortality once and realizing FOR A FACT, that they’re mortal and finite, just like me. Sorry, long rant just to say “yes.”

@brookewilson9117 8 месяцев назад

Thank you for this video! People need to be more open about it. I have always felt pressured to have kids and have never been at peace with idea even when I was considering it or in a relationship. Even when I was single people would ask me when am I having kids. I’m so happy I found someone that also doesn’t want kids but wants us to build a life together with dogs and someday hobby farm animals 😊

@MrTriked 3 года назад

I am a guy in my mid 50's and I still get asked by strangers and those that don't know me well if I have children. I usually just say not yet and that usually gets me a strange look.😄

@laidikirsta9122 3 года назад

I had a really good conversation about this with a close friend of mine. We're both hetero cis women around 30, she doesn't want kids and I have always wanted them. She's really tired of having to defend herself to people, or getting condescending comments like "oh, just to wait, you'll want them soon". She really made me think when she said that no one ever asks women: "Why DO you want kids?" And a lot of people end up getting kids just because that's what you're supposed to do, but they never conciously consider if they actually want kids. It made me think long and hard about why I want kids, because I have a lot of medical reasons why I shouldn't. My conclusion is that I really, really want kids, despite there being so many logical reasons why I shouldn't. I just want kids. Which is just as fine as women not wanting kids, just because they don't.

@JaneEMcLernon 8 месяцев назад

My daughter announced that, although she would be disappointing me, she and her boyfriend wouldn't be having children. My response was immediate: "You can't disappoint me with that choice because it is 100% not up to me."

@boba.4756 Месяц назад

Jo, I know that many parents shouldn't have been parents and I consider it refreshing that a young, intelligent woman has the personal strength to state, "I'm not having children because I don't want children." Refreshing honesty and clarity of thought.

@traceyhanley287 2 года назад

Thanks for having this conversation! My husband and I don't have children but I always get asked if we have kids when I meet someone. When I say “No!” there is a look of pity/disappointment on their face...i wish people would stop that because I always feel like I need to explain why, and I shouldn't have to.

@AnnaLVajda 2 года назад

Yeah people and their projections. Or maybe if someone wants kids and can't have any a question like that just rubs salt in their wounds.

@AnnaLVajda 2 года назад

Yeah people and their projections. Or maybe if someone wants kids and can't have any a question like that just rubs salt in their wounds.

@Paintfilly1 3 года назад

Good for you Jo! I and my husband both knew we had no desires to have kids. All of our family and friends knew up front and never gave us a bad time about it.👍. I am now 59 and my husband is nearly 65. We still feel that we made the right decision, for us! Again, good for you two. You’re the only ones who can make your life, what you want it to be. I have my horses and he his computers. Good luck in your future going forward Jo.

@ctrlbrwl 2 года назад

Not sure horses and computers are an adequate replacement for babies though? But hey, whatever works for you, I guess

@amyhelman5162 2 года назад

I learned a bit of wisdom from a man in a nursing home. He was 101 years old. He was not able to have any children. In his case, he had NO ONE left to visit and take care of him. No children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, sisters,brothers. If he would have had children he most likely would not have been as lonely and that he was, lonely! It is very true what the gentleman told you about how children show you a more amazing love 💕 it’s almost like another compartment is opened in your heart and mind. Makes you look at things in a different light.

@andrewjuby6339 2 года назад

As a dude who doesn't want to be a dad, I definitely get pressure but it isn't even remotely comparable to what I've heard child-free women deal with.

@torimaguire456 3 года назад

I get the question, "who's going to look after you when you're old?". first of all, If I had children, I would never wish for them to look after me. Secondly, the people in the old folks home I pay, who else? I don't went children, because I don't want them. I love kids, I love my nieces and nephews, but it's not for me, and that's okay.

@tazhorse 3 года назад

Tori Maguire totally me. I have a niece and nephew I adore. I can afford to pay for care when the time comes. In the mean time I am living life and having a blast with my husband

@Michelle-sw9uj 3 года назад

And then you have children who end up not looking after you. What then? It's not a certainty that they will look after you. Also, they might actually die before you and then you don't have them to look after you either.

@jax422 3 года назад

I actually don’t get that question at all. There is no guarantee that your children will even be capable of taking care of you physically, financially, or mentally. There is always a chance you could out live you child, they could be disabled and need care themselves, they could have addiction issues, mental health issues, financial issues, they could move away and live in another state or country, or you may not even have a relationship with them at all when they’re older. Just assuming your child could one day take care of you is dumb.

@DieAlteistwiederda 3 года назад

My mom literally told me to put her in a nursing home as soon as she needs more help than maybe help with grocery shopping every week and other such smaller stuff. We had to take care of my grandma, we all know how hard that was and we also now know that none of us ever wants to go through that again. Like I will help but fuck being the sole caretaker of my mom. I also am disabled so I physically can't do all the stuff someone needs to do to take care of someone.

@jax422 3 года назад

@@DieAlteistwiederda My parents move my grandfather in with them a few months ago basically so he didn’t die alone of covid in a nursing home. Honesty it’s terrible. He needs 24/7 care. He’s like a toddler that’s capable of burning the house down. He’s up all night so my parents don’t sleep, they can’t go anywhere together because someone always has to be home. It’s miserable.

@Cerebrality1967 3 года назад

I love this. I don’t have children because I was unable to, and it didn’t stop the pointed, awful, questions. People need to change their perspective on “women’s obligations” related to creating a new life.

@evmarekaj 2 года назад

I think the bigger problem is the way these questions are asked as well as the difference between expecting the possibility of a person having children and that someone should have children, I don't think there is anything wrong with asking if a person does have children or if they ever have the intention to, but it sounds horrifying to be consistently pestered about the expectation that you should have children

@livi6886 2 года назад

@@evmarekaj I think "are you having kids?" is a much better question than "when are you having kids?". First one sounds like a question, second one sounds like a command.

@evmarekaj 2 года назад

@@livi6886 exactly my point curiosity isn't the problem, it's the expectation and the way it is expressed

@nickefgen9219 Год назад

I got turned off to wanting kids when as a little kid watching my parents friends struggle with their kids that right there turned me off to wanting kids of my own, I’m 54 now and I’m happy about that decision, everyone always puts so much pressure on to have kids it’s so annoying. I now have a car hobby that I’ve had for the last 30 plus years, I’ve got a 1967 mustang and a 1970 bronco these are my two kids

@alisinclaire9021 2 года назад

No one is owed a reason for why you do or don't choose to have kids, but it's nice to hear a woman talk about this openly.

@tobysmom1111 3 года назад

I was asked the "kid question" nonstop until reached my late 40's and went into menopause. People stopped asking at that point because it was somewhat obvious I surpassed the "best if used by" date. I sailed through the next decade period- free (yay!!!) and child-free (even better!!!). Then much to my surprise I recently started getting asked about my non-existent grandchildren!!! I'm told how much I am missing out on by not having kids and grandkids, blah, blah, blah. Now I'm wondering what the next big question will be?!?! Criminy!!

@ariannaarredondo1641 2 года назад

Oh no, I’m sorry to hear this 🥺 some people just don’t respect.

@GoddessOfThree 2 года назад

I don't understand what people's goal is when they say "you're missing out", even if they strongly feel that way. Like, even if the person they're talking to were to agree, wouldn't that just make the person feel bad? Are they TRYING to make childless people feel bad for it??

@jurgnobs1308 2 года назад

but... you're tobys mom

@matheussanthiago9685 2 года назад

@@GoddessOfThree it's almost as if their grasp on their belief of ''having kids = good'' were so feeble, that they need to verbally push the narrative over in other to maintain it R. R. martin said it before, he who has confidence needs not to assert

@muriel5826 2 года назад

Wow, that’s so obnoxious. Are they just trying to ruin your day? Or are they saying it through gritted teeth, trying to convince themselves that their grandkids are not annoying them?

@calliopecarion7598 3 года назад

Judging a person for choosing not to have children is just so rude...it's not your body or your life, so please mind your business Great video, as always!

@traceyflater 3 года назад

Indeed.

@clarissebanshee 3 года назад

Thanks 🙏🏻 Everyone on my family want me to have children BUT I don’t want for some reasons 🙄

@stuartmorris7699 3 года назад

Thank You...

@juliepagano4708 3 года назад

Your right

@somewhereinspace4006 3 года назад

This 👏🏻 is 👏🏻 an 👏🏻 awesome 👏🏻 comment 👏🏻

@PimmHogeling 2 года назад

(Cis male) "When are you having children?" is something I've been asked plenty of times as well. It's not a fun question to receive while actively trying to have a child without success. The question implies that having children is something you can just do whenever you feel like it. The question also dismisses the idea that you may not want children at all. I feel "would you like to have children?" is the better conversation starter. One can just respond "yes", or "maybe", or "no" and leave it at that if one doesn't want to go into detail. (By the way: he's ten months old now.)

@AviantoMr 2 года назад

i am listening thoroughly on and on to understand deeper, highly respect, & give best prayers to support you for what is best for you at any time.

@nicolabannister3582 3 года назад

For me it's the fact I wouldn't be able to give the child/children the childhood I want. I wouldn't be able to look after them and be there for them in the way I want. Add to that the possibility of passing on chronic illnesses, it just feels selfish to have biological children. I love kids and I love the time I get to spend with my bfs nieces and nephews, but boy are they exhausting. I struggle to find the energy to look after myself some days, let alone having another human fully dependant on me for EVERYTHING. It wouldn't be fair on the child.

@SunGem 3 года назад

Nicola Bannister - Same!

@pawprints1986 3 года назад

I feel this whole heartedly too. Thankfully I never did really want my own. But on top of just not wanting my own, I also don't feel it would be fair to have them when I can't properly care for them routinely. It wouldn't be the full life I'd want for them

@Felisquoreda 2 года назад

This is exactly how I feel. Don't let them tell you "but others make it work." Or "but you will regret this choice" Children are precious but demanding and regretting not having them is infinitely better than regretting having them.

@igirlgeek 2 года назад

I feel this too, when I was 16 I KNEW I wanted kids! But since my nephew was born 5 years ago, I've been on the fence. He's so loud and rowdy, I don't know how I'd cope if my kid was like that. My niece is slowly restoring my faith in babies, she's amazing and so well behaved, the complete opposite of her brother. I'm just hoping kids with my partner will be more like us, both of us would be so out of our depth with a masculine football loving kid. 😅

@igirlgeek 2 года назад

From personal experience, guys only talk about whether they want kids if you've had a romantic connection with them. It doesn't really come up otherwise. Except for my friends who already have kids

@6Fiona6_P_6 3 года назад

I'm a 56 going on to 57 in November Year old. I'm also married. And I never Ever Wanted children. And have Never Ever regretted my decision. At 18-19 years of age I was diagnosed with having Polycystic Ovarian Disease. I was told it would be difficult for me to have kids. And that I maybe in that smallish percentage of Women who would never fall pregnant. And when I heard those words from the Doctor who said that, I just wanted to celebrate like all my New Years had come at once. I too had some relatives and friends who would ask "The Question ". My sister only asked me once. The one person who never asked was my Mother ( Maybe because she was wise and loving in that respect. And maybe because she respected my right and decision on the matter) And I'm grateful for it.... But the thing is, in the end -: You don't owe anyone an explanation, if You don't wish to give one. And people should respect You either way. Plus It's Nobody's Business whether a person wants Children or not. And I feel sorry for married men or unmarried who face this question as well. They shouldn't have to justify their decision either way as well ....... ☮️⚛️🌏

@Michelle-sw9uj 3 года назад

Haha! As a young woman, when I realized I couldn't have children, I was so happy. I had one less thing to worry about.

@ctrlbrwl 2 года назад

@@Michelle-sw9uj kinda sounds like you're trying to convince yourself more than anything else...

@razzbazle1582 5 месяцев назад

One of the problems I see is a lot of people are not honest about what its like to have kids. Yes they are cute and you love them with every fiber. That aside, its a F ing GRIND! I remember feeling so free on a Friday after work. With children there is no off work. Uf you are someone who needs alone time to recharge, don't have kids. Unless you have a ton of help around or you have the means to pay for it

@Safire2159 6 месяцев назад

This is very refreshing. I'm in the same boat. 38 years old and I've never had any desire to have children and I never will and it's nobody's business and it's a very, very, very personal choice. My partner is a lot older than me and he has adult children from a previous relationship. Women should not need to explain themselves. The questions that some people ask us are completely absurd. Women have zero requirement or duty to procreate. I'm very lucky that I never experienced any pressure from my family or from friends, although thankfully I'm strong enough to simply ignore stuff like that anyways. I feel really awful for all of the women who have experienced extreme amounts of pressure to have kids....and some of those women do have children even though they don't want to, but they can't handle the relentless and inappropriate pressure from their family. It's absolutely horrific to me that there are millions of families out there that pressure their female family members into having babies. It makes me just want to scream. That is literally abuse.

@Flycam01 3 года назад

You’re probably too nice a person for this, but in the case of comments like those of the bank story, “Who the *f* do you think you are?” Is a perfectly appropriate response.

@skeetsmcgrew3282 3 года назад

Yea dude, the old man story was kinda just awkward but the bank teller can go straight to hell

@Not_Dead_Yet 3 года назад

I have asked people why that is any of their business before

@skeetsmcgrew3282 3 года назад

@@Not_Dead_Yet I honestly feel like it's less rude to tell someone to go to hell, like when a person gets that pissed I would be like, woah shit dude my bad. But saying "How is that any of your business" is just a Karen-ass thing to say and would not make me feel bad. Maybe I'm weird but I will respond better to anger than indignation

@Not_Dead_Yet 3 года назад

@@skeetsmcgrew3282 i get that. I swear like a sailor, so my first inclination is to tell them to f off, but sometimes you have to soften it for the location (like someone you work with). Work ppl have been told no and if they push, they get the why is it any of your business

@skeetsmcgrew3282 3 года назад

@@Not_Dead_Yet ugh, yeah probably true. Fuckin workplace politics are cancer

@madgeniusmusic 3 года назад

I'm male, and I agree, I don't want children, that's why I have cats.

@tazhorse 3 года назад

Danny Rushton I have horses. Can’t afford kids. Lol

@just_another_account8089 3 года назад

I'm a lady but sameeeee 😂 I have 3 ginger boys who keep me on my toes.

@jo.taylor 3 года назад

@nikoletahanakova8573 3 года назад

@Bruna Fernandes Is this something that is causing you any trouble in conceiving in case you want kinds? If you do not feel comfortable answering you do not have to, I do not mean to be rude.

@Shew0000 3 года назад

It's dog's for me 😀

@user-et9ub3dc3j 7 месяцев назад

Thank you, Jo, for speaking up! As a child growing up in an abusive family, I decided never to have children ("I am not going to create this experience for _my_ children"). As an adult, it took decades of healing before I could permit myself to do so, and I now have grown children of my own. Having lived both sides of the question, I would never lay an expectation on anyone, male or female, to have children; it is too significant a choice for anyone to make on another's behalf. If someone levels a demand on you about having children, please know that you are not obliged to answer their question. And if they persist, please feel free to tell them they are out of line.

@janhenry9733 2 года назад

I am 22 years married, and happily child-free. Your answer is the same as mine. We have a parrot. She's 21. I love her. That's really all I need.

@kristinreynolds577 2 года назад

I feel the exact same way! My sister was born to be a Mom, and I wasn’t. So many people asked me why aren’t we having kids, and I actually can’t have kids. I had cancer and it completely killed my ovaries and hormones. So I so agree and thank you for bringing this up!!! Thank you so much Jo! 💗💗💗

@bookllama8158 2 года назад

@Bob Doesn’t matter, because she doesn’t want to.

@fighterinmkiwiscience3517 2 года назад

@@bookllama8158 lol 😂

@solsystem1342 Год назад

@Bob Wow, so glad you're a medical professional and can advise pregnancy care online from a single comment

@colettetennison6222 3 года назад

Good for you! I was married for 10 years and people always assumed there would be kids - so glad there weren't when things fell apart. But those questions were always asked - we also had decided against kids for various reasons but those were personal and I hated that I always felt that I had to explain myself. Also, the number of people (generally men!) who feel like it's okay to ask when you're due if you even show a tiny stomach bulge - like why do you think that's even vaguely okay?!

@evarinagarmguardian113 2 года назад

To anyone who asks when you're due because they see a little bit of stomach you should say, "In a couple of hours, give or take 💩."

@scraphappyjen4561 2 года назад

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on such a tender subject. I always wanted children and seriously felt like it was my life’s calling but went through a traumatic birth and post-partum depression with my first. Other peoples opinions seemed to make it so much harder. I felt like I was failing at my life. You never know the battles someone is facing, we could all do better treating each other with care and understanding and sometimes the most respectful thing we can do is keep our opinions to ourselves.

@svenjaj.3520 2 года назад

When I worked in an office, the questions about having babies bothered me. And then I understood that since most women want children, it was just a "polite" question or conversation. Just like discussing the weather or the buying of a new coat... It's so weird. And saying "never" just started some long and embarrassing silences

@sopeace9968 3 года назад

THANK you, Jo! You nailed it! You said EVERYTHING I always tell people when they ask me and my husband! Love and hugs from Germany! ♡

@louiseerbslisbjerg7854 2 года назад

Your body, your life, your choice! I had my tubes tied 3 1/2 years ago, when I was having a planned c-section. I've always wanted children but I had 7 miscarriages and my daughter who stuck, is everything I hoped and more. Pregnancy was horrible. My life was litterally in danger multiple times. Even the c-section did'nt go quite right, even though it was planned and I have not regretted a single minute, that I had my tubes tied! N. E. V. E. R!!! I did, however, have to fight to get sterilised. My GP (in my country they have to refer you to have it done) pushed the pill,the IUD and what not - even knowing I have a genetic error increasing my risk if bloodclods and therefor should never have hormones... but them there was the copper IUD... which has a ton of side effects, especially for women with endometriosis - which I do! I was 37 years old when I got pregnant with my daughter. I was 38 when she was born. I was done! DONE! But the attitude I've met with doctors, midwifes and other health professionels as-well as family and friends was un-believeble. If you dont have kids; When are you having any? If you do have kids; When are you having another? If you want to have your tubes tied; Are you sure, as an adult of sound mind, that you can msnage such a desition for yourself? "I dont think so, little Missy", seems to be the attitude. It n.e.v.e.r ends! Damned if you do. Damned if you dont. It is never enough for other people, whatever you do 🙄🙄🙄 And btw., as someone who lost preg,ancy after pregnancy; You are entitled to tell people like me to shut the f... UP if they tell you, that you are obligated to have children because they cant. I never understood that "logic" and have discussed it on numerous occassions with people like myself. Yes; wanting a child more than anything and not succeeding is hard. But it dos'nt entitle someone to be an a.., nor does it entitle anyone to deside for others, that they owe them or should do certain things - because they cant! It's not their place and they need to read up on biology if they think you having an un-wanted baby, is going to change the course of their own fertility. No. No. No!

@AnnaLVajda 2 года назад

Yeah "my body my choice" really should apply to more than just the abortion subject. Absolutely some women have problems with birth control pills or IUDS. There are still women forced to have children too surrogates cohercian etc. I think celibacy is best personally avoid all risk including that of another relationship with an abusive manipulative man.

@camomoose1078 2 года назад

Doctors are supposed to discourage non necessary surgerys as much as possible especially if you have issues that could complicate them. The reason being that they can permanently fuck up your physical and mental health.

@austinluther5825 2 года назад

@@camomoose1078 This us true, but everything OP said about their medical history would indicate that the surgery would be in the best interest of their health. Doctors are not immune to their personal biases influencing their thinking and some act on those biases. I've had a doctor try to talk me out of transitioning because, "It's irreversible and you might regret it." I was there for a referral to an endocrinologist with documented recommendation from multiple therapists. I was perfectly aware of how HRT works.

@camomoose1078 2 года назад

@@austinluther5825 OP's condition, though unlikely, can cause serious complications after that surgery. Much more serious then what she says she has to deal with now. Her getting it is like rolling dice. Everything from 1 to 5 is ok, but a 6 may cripple her body for life. The same, though with better odds, goes for allmost all surgerys, which is, again, why doctors are supposed to discourage them unless the reason to perform them is a bigger threat to the person then whatever ailments it could cause. And even then they have a, atleast moral, obligation to inform the patient of its risks and make sure they accept them. The same could go for your doctor. Even after going through the many checks your and most other serious medical treatments require, there is still a chance that someone who would regret it might have slipped through the cracks. It happens, though rarely, sometimes. Which is the reason why doctors should double check, even if the individual in question has copious amounts of referrals. Therefore i would allways assume concern for a patient at first and malice at last. In the end its for you to decide if that was true in your situation though. Sorry if i mangled any words or repeated them to often, english isnt my first language.

@bookllama8158 2 года назад

@Bob Ah, you must be speaking from experience, Bob. 🤦🏼‍♀️

@mgm2008 2 года назад

Such shocking boldness for asking those personal questions!!!! Arrrggg!! I don't remember people getting personal like that with me!

@kimberlyallen6582 2 года назад

Thank you for sharing. I feel the same way. Never wanted them and have never regretted not having them. I have met many women who were pressured into having kids and feel resentful about it.

@swissfemshep 3 года назад

My best friend became a mom two years ago and she asked me "do you wanna have kids?" and I said "yeah if I find the right partner" and she said the same thing "you know you don't have much time left!" Ouch! I had to turn my head because I teared up a bit😅

@ctrlbrwl 2 года назад

She is right, though. Much harder to conceive naturally after your 20's...

@whoopsies6432 3 года назад

I feel like if the question was “are you planning on having children “ the subject could be more open

@Lindsay423 Год назад

Bravo! I feel exactly the same way. I’ve never wanted to have kids and it’s frustrating that it’s just expected that we all want to. Thank you for saying it plain and simple, and reinforcing that it’s a perfectly valid choice.

@lonmorgan5260 8 месяцев назад

Perfectly valid reason. Why is it anyone's business. I had a friend ask me why I didn't have kids, asked me if I was shooting blanks. What if that was the case?

@madmudd96 3 года назад

Jo it perfectly okay to not want kids!! It’s no one else’s business! You and Brian should be able to live your lives however you want 💞

@AMVactivists 3 года назад

I love this! This is me too! Grew up assuming I'd have kids because that's what everyone did, but it was never something I ever activity wanted. As I grew older I understood that kids aren't for me. I don't like children. They're annoying and loud and kinds icky. I also find it funny how children exhaust me, but dogs doing the exact same things bring me joy!

@CrystalGreymon 2 года назад

Dogs don't ask random questions or refuse to go to bed.

@jenniferbronson2509 2 года назад

I always had the mindset that if I didn't have kids by the time I was 30 I didn't want them. At the age of 35 I was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer and just before I turned 38 my cancer progressed to stage 4. (I'm currently in stable remission).I had to make a decision on either saving my eggs for later to have babies or for go having kids all together to prevent my cancer spreading even further. My cancer is also hereditary and since it is I made the choice to have a full hysterectomy. I made the logical choice to not spread my cancer onto my future. I watch my niece and nephews and it confirms that I have made the right choice to not have kids.

@Shadow1Yaz 2 года назад

“I don’t want to be a mom.” Is 120% valid and good reason to not have kids. I think videos like this are important. I never wanted to be a parent and I feel really bad and traumatized that it was forced on me.

@alliesanchez1960 3 года назад

I had to let go an employee due to being unprofessional, she ended up calling my personal number and said you are so pathetic, in fact I'm pretty sure that you never bore a man's child. I honestly felt so personally violated, for being single and in my thirties.

@Uapa500 2 года назад

That's honestly sick 😱

@nnicollan 2 года назад

Wow she crazy

@Isitonacornflake 3 года назад

I feel EXACTLY the same! It's so nice to hear others say it too! Also, I thought it might be nice to share this story I had about this question, but it's totally positive! I was at a GI appointment, and my doctor was talking to me about pregnancy/fertility, because my IBD could affect it. He asked if I was planning on having kids, and I said "no, and only would adopt if I did" he just replied "oh, that's perfect!" 😂

@Knikon79 2 года назад

I came across this channel in my feed and loved to see a person with a disability who is totally loving life and not letting it stop them. I know that I am late to this conversation, but I just wanted to say as a man I have dealt with people saying the opposite to me my entire life. Without going into to many details I was born with Cerebral Palsy. I am now in a wheelchair and because of my disability as well as other PC related issues I am on disability. Because of this I have lost count of the number of times that I have had people tell me that I should not have kids because I would either put a further drain on the system or that I would have a child that also had my disability (which is ridiculous). As of now I am in my early 40's and single. I think that I missed any chance that I might ever have kids, but that is my story. I do not think that anyone should ever be forced to have kids. It all depends on what you are looking for in life. People need to do what makes them happy and fulfilled and stop trying to push their expectations on others who might not share the same views. TLDR: you do whatever makes you happy. That is what is truly important.

@mardigammon4061 2 года назад

And those people are straight up ableist eugenicists. How could someone say that to another human being? Ugh, the world absolutely sucks sometimes 😔

@ariannaarredondo1641 2 года назад

❤️❤️I respect your decision, it’s odd to hear as a mom but I completely understand it! Kids are hard to raise, and I agree there’s nothing wrong with not wanting to have kids. I have lost 2 babies early in pregnancy and right after the 2nd one I lost I decided to get my tubes tied because it too hurt much to loose them, and I didn’t want to have to go through that pain again❤️. I have 3 amazing children with 2 in heaven. I would love more but I am happy with what I decided to do in the end.