The Real Reason Your Bad Habits Keep Winning 

Full video: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-498-bf2BhgQ.html

ILL TAKE A POTATO CHIP... AND EAT IT!

in summary: when you're craving a bad habit, don't try to resist. do it mindfully, paying attention to every aspect of the experience

Great video again! Here is what I learned: - a behaviour is reinforced when it's pleasurable and dopaminergic. - when you try to change a habit you're using your frontal lobe which doesn't make the good habits pleasurable because the frontal lobes and the reward system of the brain are two different circuits - monks do not practice resistance, they focus on cultivating awareness - the awareness can help with addictions because the person with addiction is blind to what got them to use again after a period of being sober. Most of the times these people are emotionally triggered in some way and they cope by using the substance again. However, if they are aware of these stressful situations and their feelings, they'll have better understanding of what triggered them and made them use again. - everytime you do the bad habit with full awareness you're strenghtening connections between the frontal lobe and habit circuitry. This works because bad habits are not enjoyable the whole time you're doing them. For example when you start a video game you're thrilled but after 10-20 minutes you're not as enagaged as in the beggining. If you're aware the whole time you're going to catch that point where you stopped enjoying playing the game. Another example I can think of is to watch a RU-vid video but scrolling on social media on your phone. You are neither fully aware of the video nor the social media posts and this is how a few hours of your life can slip by. - tldr - do one thing at a time and be fully aware of your bad habits

the wisdom of a monk under the perspective of a Harvard psychiatrist, this dude is a gem

Potentially helpful tips: 1.Observe how ego and judgements interact. "This action is bad, but it feels good, therefore I must be bad." 2. Observe sensations and emotions fully. What happened before the habit? How are your feeling? "I didn't sleep well. I feel apathetic." When does the pleasure stop? When does the fun end and compulsion begin? How do you feel afterwards? "The cake tasted so good on the first mouthful, but by the third it was just sweetness. I felt like I had to finish it, even though I wasn't enjoying it anymore." 3. Acknowledge what the bad habit does for you. It may be a bad habit, but it was/is a solution to a problem you have. Binge eating reduces stress. Gaming masks inadequacy. Pr0n distracts from emptiness. Anger issues protect us. They are poor solutions, but it never would have turned into a habit if it didn't work at some point. So rather than outright rejecting them, be grateful. Acknowledge what bad habits give, as well as take.

This makes sense. I stopped drinking in 2018, not mindfully at first. But once I started paying attention to the urges my brain was focused on, it became easier to understand and regulate the habit. It wasn't forcibly stopping a detrimental habit. It was the act of thinking about my circumstances during and adjacent to alcohol consumption that allowed me to stop altogether. I still feel the urge, years later, but I'm definitely better off than I was before I quit.

This video has got to be one of the most valuable pieces of content on the internet right now. I often feel so much shame and guilt trying to overcome my phone use and social media addiction through willpower. It's validating to hear that my failures are not because I'm not trying hard enough, and it's life-changing to have a path forward after watching this video.

this may be one of the most important videos dr k has put out. i tried this for only a day and found massive results. for context, i generally spend nearly all day watching youtube videos or television/movies, sometimes playing video games too. i know i do it to avoid my feelings, but haven't been able to stop in years and it has really brought my life to a sickening standstill. so i followed dr k's instructions and decided to engage in my addictions, but with awareness. every time i found myself picking up my phone or my laptop, i'd start paying attention to my actions, even pointing and calling if needed (e.g. saying out loud "i'm scrolling the youtube homepage right now.") because i'm trying to be aware of my internal state too, i'd ask myself, "what am i feeling right now?" i'd name the emotion and continue to scroll. because i've been trying to practice self-compassion in the last week, as soon as i named the emotion i instinctually validated it too. all this while continuing to engage in the addiction, fully aware. what was surprising is this: while i'd usually spend hours on youtube once i started, when i did this, i watched only one video, or played only one pvp match at a time. it's not that i consciously stopped myself, i just didn't feel the NEED to keep going anymore. as a result, today was one of the most productive days i've had in weeks - i got so much stuff done, actually had the motivation to do things, all because i engaged in my addictions with awareness, which led to paying attention to what i was feeling and accepting it - as a result, i didn't lose myself in the timesuck of youtube. what i found whenever i engaged in my addictions with awareness: - i'd reach for them whenever i felt an uncomfortable emotion, e.g. sadness, anger, hurt, but most prominently discomfort at the prospect of doing a difficult task, which led to procrastination using the addictive behavior - i also reached for it when i didn't know what to do next in my day - a completely unexpected realization. i suppose feeling directionless is its own kind of discomfort. - i have a chronic pain condition, and i'd reach for my addictions when i had a pain flare-up. once i noticed this, i realized i could actually make the radical decision of, gasp, treating the pain, instead of avoiding the discomfort of it by playing video games. i automatically stopped after one match (not something i had to force myself to do!), took my meds and felt a whole lot better in a few hours, which led to more productivity. dr k, you probably won't see this comment, but you've helped me way more than anything i've tried, even therapy, which has been pretty helpful. from the bottom of my heart, a huge THANK YOU. i hope all the good you do comes back to you as punya (sanskrit for "merit" for others reading).

Heard an extension of this that could also help others: If you find yourself tempted by a habit, try waiting 10 minutes before doing it. Helps build up resistance and willpower while also becoming more aware of the habit.

This video made me tear up a bit. I’ve been struggling with drinking since the pandemic began, and I also have a genetic predisposition for alcohol issues from my dad’s side. I’ve been drinking every single day, with 3 exceptions that last maybe a week or 2, for the last 3 years. I drink to cover up the loneliness. I do have friends, really good friends even, but there’s a gnawing hole in my heart where family and a partner should be. I currently only speak to one of my five siblings and my mother. I went on a date recently that was the best I’ve ever been on. We didn’t do anything fancy, we went for a walk and then played music together and had tea. It just felt like I was simply and easily connecting with another person. And guess what? I didn’t drink that night, and I didn’t even think about it. It just didn’t happen. We’ve now been on 3 dates and each time I see him I feel no desire to drink afterwards. What’s frustrating is feeling like a lonely sad loser for needing people. I feel like everyone around me is “doing their own thing” and simply don’t have much time for others.

It’s been 3 weeks since I stopped vaping. My parents were happy to hear that I am making progress to quit my bad habit but they asked why do I still have the vape in front of me at all times on my desk. I told them in the past when I tried to quit I would usually throw it in the bin, but not long after I would give in to the temptation and drive out and buy one. However, what I did 3 weeks ago was I use a marker to write down the date I decided to quit and I kept the vape in front of me at all times and bring it everywhere I go. Every time I have the craving to take a hit I can make a conscious/intentional decision whether I want or not, but the date on the vape actually reminds me of my commitment, goal and perseverance. I just found this video and it really resonated with me when the monk was told to not to resist and eat with awareness and even keep it with at all times. I realise I am on the right path and I know I will break this bad habit of mine successfully.

Dealing with phone and youtube addiction through a youtube video on my phone

I've used this approach without realizing to correct my diet. I allowed myself to eat what I wanted in full awareness that I shouldn't, forgiving myself for "failing" and allowing myself to enjoy it. It took months but soon I went from eating horribly soda's, pizza's, chips, candies and so on to replacing each little by little with healthy alternatives. This was several years ago now and have kept to my new habits. I occasionally consume some of the old stuff but I don't think about it as a negative and simply enjoy them since they don't cause me problems any longer.

This came at a right time for me, I just slipped up and played video games for 4 hours everyday on the last two weeks, and it has been detrimental to my studies as a medical student. I became aware of the fact that playing games wouldn't bring me anything but guilt (not even pleasure), and I thought I definitely needed a way to prevent myself from becoming absorbed in bad habits the next time. Thank you.

My biggest problem in breaking my addiction is that I can't find any new interests to replace it with, so I always fall back into the same loop eventually of turning my PC on just to escape my misery / boredom that eventually rises up

I just realized how many bad habits I used to have that I would always do while binging RU-vid. A few months back, I decided I needed a dopamine detox which evolved into a new rule of mine: NO DOUBLE DOPAMINE! Snacking while gaming. Snacking while watching RU-vid. Multiple tabs of livestreams. Shit like that obliterates your boredom tolerance. After watching this video, I'm starting to wonder if isolating those dopaminergic behaviors had the hidden benefit of forcing me to do each one more mindfully! That would explain a lot...

Habits are unconscious behaviour. Engage in habits mindfully to remove the distraction factor, and to reinforce the connection between the frontal lobe and the habit or cannabinoid circuitry. Also you'll raise awareness of your internal emotional state whenever you're indulging in the habits so you understand better why you do them and you can deal with those emotions instead of undulging in the habit.

5:31 This makes sense because I've heard that being hyper aware was one of the most effective ways to quit something like smoking. The more you understand and focus on the parts you're just like about that hobby than the less likely you are to romanticize it and continue it. If you focus on the fact that you get no pleasure from playing video games anymore and are wasting all day playing video games instead of working out or doing something to make yourself better in life than it'll start to bother you every time you play video games because that's all you'll be able to think about which will help you kick the habit

I`ve been doing this with my pornography addiction for the last 2 weeks and I have to say, thank so much Dr. K. I'm 29 years old and for the first time in my life, since I consumed pornography, I feel in so much control with this addiction, at first I was skeptical about this practice and on the first days I saw not difference but I kept my full awareness while doing it, and after a week, I started to feel that the craving started to go away or at least they were way more manageable (slowly but surely) and now I had reached 5 days without pornography/masturbation, which is a huge milestone for me! I know that I'm just 2 weeks into this practice, but so far, the change is noticeable and for the fist time I have huge hopes for me in the future. Thank you so much Dr. K and I'll give you an update in about a month.

Writing down stuff and how much time it takes does massive wonders for me when it comes to awareness. When I was growing up, everyone was workaholics, so no one really know how to deal with emotions or habits so I had to find my own way. Luckily I was just trying to make a schedule, and I needed to know how much time everything took. Starting writing everything down and made me realize just how horrible my sense of time had gotten. I've been slipping a bit with my habits lately since I haven't been doing that. Planning on grabbing a little booklet to write down in on monday so there is always something by my side. I mean I suppose you could do the same on your phone, but I find writing makes you more aware of the words you are saying than typing them. Especially since I never had a reason to really write anymore. Also planning on implementing how I feel before and after each activity, and also give a scale on 1 to 10 afterwards to see how well that works out for me.

This is extremely interesting - I struggle with lots of bad habits that ruin my life. I also noticed a while back that I live most of my life in some sort of a haze, doing things unconsciously. And recently, I was told by a psychologist that I have low awareness of my feelings. *Suddenly, it all makes sense* 🤯

Perfect timing as always! I've been trying to do this but needed some more details. Dr. K, you always seem to include some detail or some angle on a practice that really unlocks a new dimension!! Thanks for everything you do.

Dang ive been using this strategy for a while without really knowing why, other than that it worked. Engaging in habits with awareness has been a great way to get myself to keep a schedule, exercise, put in hours at work, read, etc. I just try to be conscious of when I'm making a choice to engage in a good or bad habit, then feel how that feels. Like if i decide to skip the gym i allow myself to do that without feeling bad but i tune in to how my body feels about that choice that day and the next. And sometimes my body feels fine and maybe I actually needed a rest, or maybe i feel physically worse for being sedentary and that knowledge motivates me to go to the gym next time.

I would also highlight loving awareness. To give yourself compassion for the habits. You can develop a witness in your thoughts who just observes how it is objectively "ah, eating chips" then maybe "ah, self shaming". Watch it all unfold with kindness. Compassion broken down from Latin means to suffer with/together. Awareness can begin to develop self compassion because you become aware of your suffering (addiction/habit) rather than doing it non consciously. The kindness comes from realising that we are all together in our human condition. That everyone deserves love and kindness, starting with us. Eventually habits fall off as they lose their momentum and with awareness you can stay quiet enough for the moment you're doing 'the thing' and it just doesn't have the spark it used to.

I can recall this state of awareness while attempting to change my diet. I allowed myself to cave without guilt sometimes. I noticed the waxy, cardboard taste and texture of the unhealthy food I craved. The sickening sweetness or the empty feeling after it was gone. I started eating them less and less because of this, until skipping over them completely in favor of better choices. I will keep it up knowing it's actually a solid technique. Thank you for this video!

Dr. K, Please do more content on trauma and c-ptsd. One thing about bad habits is that they could stem from maladaptive coping mechanisms. So, people watching this cannot simply just realize the existing bad habit and stop it because its likely that they will swap out the bad habit for another bad habit. They need to learn to process the trauma.

It's a very helpful advice for a lot of mental problems - cultivate more awareness. Observe instead of judging, and often times you will see the solution will come up by itself or you will start to feel better over time

Dr K is always making videos about stuff like this at the EXACT time in my life when I am needing it- once or twice is a coincidence… time after time?? The man’s a genius and very in touch with his community. Thank you, Dr. K.

This is something ive been practicing, and trying to tell the people i know about for like 15 years, but this video makes the point so concisive that this is going to be my reference going forward. Ive gotten more capable with my language and speaking since i was in middleschool but i still just sometimes fail to get the point heard. Thanks Dr. K. I'm certain that this is going to have a positive effect, at least in my little corner of the world

Incredibly hard to remove bad habits. But eliminating them is incredibly rewarding 💪

This was refreshing for me in my journey with alcohol. I used to drink A LOT years ago while being depressed, then I went sober for 2-3 years. Then I got into wine and met a girl and we both enjoyed wine together. Long story short, we got pregnant and she didn’t want to go through with it and then broke up with me over text. This destroyed me. I forced myself to drink bourbon and whiskey for months. I eventually sought therapy to help recover, but I actually started growing an appreciation for the liquid and it’s became something of a hobby to me. These days I try to stay self aware of my intentions. As an enthusiast, I want to appreciate all the smells, flavors, and details when I drink. When I notice myself wanting to just pour a glass and not care, I recognize I need to walk away or take a break. I then go on a week long detox. This way of thinking also pushed me to find a healthier vice. Walking and biking has become a big part of my life, especially when I just want to pour a glass. Changing these habits has grown my appreciation of the hobby and has helped me become more physically and mentally healthy!

Hey, Dr. K! I want to thank you for all the great videos you make, but I also agree you shouldn’t just watch stuff without taking action (or not, I watched that video too), which is exactly why I love this video! It’s not that hard to do this, and you don’t even have to change your habit right away or yourself either. Definitely gonna try this one out! (I kinda wrote that for myself lol)

Great video! I’m getting addicted to watching your videos b/c they’re so informative, interesting, & inspiring… but the addiction is with full awareness

This is the mental example of learning from your enemy. Knowing your enemy allows you to win.

Literally this stuff with addictions has been one of my biggest problems in life. Thank you so much Dr. K!!!

I tried this right away with something I was struggling with and not only did it work, but I feel like I already understand more about myself. Incredible piece of advice doc.

Im addicted to Dr. K's video. How do I stop watching!? Please help!

I love you bro. You’ve helped me understand some things that didn’t register because I never had great guidance growing up. Namaste 🙏🏾

Great video. I do want to add something through a personal story: I used to have an addiction and I really wanted to break free. I raised my awareness a lot, to the point that I got a panic attack while engaging in the addicting behavior. I was so aware of what I was doing that it really freaked me out that I was still engaging in the behavior. That panic attack has given me some trauma and my anxiety spikes every time I am somehow confronted with the topic of my addiction. In the end, I broke free from the addiction, but it came at a cost to my mental health in other ways. Through therapy, I have been able to work through that trauma, but I still get queezy when confronted with the addiction, even if someone else is engaging in the behavior.

Thank you. I am dealing with addictions for many years and have read and heard a lot of ways to cope with that but your methodology is actually new and promissing!

Ah, the same weird brain rewiring I did with my psychotic depression (with a therapist’s supervision). It’s also helpful if you monitor your thoughts and not just your emotions and actions.

Thank you for the videos Dr. K and the team! ☺️

I realize this awareness method is how children are taught to break bad habits too. I remember my dad reminding me when I to keep my room organized. More than discipline, he was helping me be more conscientious of what was going on around me ,so I can personally develop to implement organization habits in life without his guide. The same principle is the reason we utilize sticky notes in areas we can see them & ask people to keep us accountable. Sometimes its mentally about "out of sight out of mind" like we have a blind spot on our shortcomings and need tools to move towards the goal of becoming better. Whether that's doing some preliminary stuff, like using a planner, weekly pill box, meal prepping, kitchen timer or a weekly checking w/ your buddy to see if you did that thing you said you would. Awareness has the connotation to feel scary, overwhelming, confusing associated with meditation. But Dr. K really simplifies it to a daily practice of just questioning to yourself before taking that behavior thats not helpful or healthy or unwanted. (It's similar to being proactive but that's the next step: preparing and planning , like once youre aware and recognize what your bad habit is you can change it) Then it becomes being mindful to: do I want to do this? Is doing this important? We use consciousness or carefulness: doing a job that requires attention to detail, journaling, drawing, having a difficult conversation for the purpose of informing or expressing the right message to someone. Cultivating awareness is hard work but it's worth it to get to accomplish better habits and complete our goals

Thanks a lot!! Definitely will try to apply this to my current issues: - Concentration and building more discipline

I love this guy so much. hands down one of my favorites (and most intelligent) educators on RU-vid. Truly, grateful for finding this channel.

Great video Dr. K! I'm getting my finances in order and I've been writing down ever single purchase I make. It's made me very aware of how I spend my money and I've managed to reduce a lot of my impulse spending that I otherwise struggled with in the past. It was almost effortless!!

Wait a min. I have been doing this already unknowingly! So I've been taking your advice of maximizing my joy, and using it to make the most out of every junk food i eat. I figured since I'm on a diet and i want this food and can't have much of it, I'll eat a controlled amount but with lots of joy and presence to maximize the joy. What i have found is that lately i don't find it difficult to resist the junk food and i think that's because of awareness! As i enjoy and savour the junk food, i have also been aware of it and unintentionally strengthened my connection and thus that's why it's so easy now! I'm consistently losing weight now and it's much easier to not overeat.

I love that this guys videos are almost structured like a paid course on how to improve your life except its all free. These videos have improved my life so much

I fixed my friends smoking addiction by making fun of him every time and he told me that he would think about me making fun of him every time he went for a smoke and how he felt about that and eventually quit

I've got plenty of bad habits. Believe me, I'm forcing myself to make drastic changes/improvements, but I feel as though the gates of the hell keep opening up just to let me in. Dark, but that's just how I feel explaining it.

It's actually make sense, this is exactly how i quit playing video games, i stopped fighting it, and started to observe behavior, and after some time i quited with ease. Good advice.

makes so much sense, for me exercising was really easy to do because if its that day of the week i will keep track of time until i need to the gym and be fully aware and prepare my mental to exercise, im aware of my laziness and the pain ill be getting thru but i still committed to do it. In comparison with using my phone in the morning, i dont mind it that much like its not as important to me as exercising thus i cannot stop scrolling mindlessly. Thank you for sharing Doc ❤ much love

Interesting stuff, this reminds me of how i started eating better. I noticed that processed food was making me feel gross and associating it with that feeling made me not want it as much.

I get the thinking before doing the behaviour. But if we look at video game addiction: the whole point of the video game is to be distracted from your thoughts and emotions in the first place. The moment you engage with the game, the awareness disappears. But yes, I've had moments where my underlying emotion is so intense that it slips through the emersion of the game and your enjoyment of the game is completely gone. A great example is in older games where the loading screen was pitch black and you could see your own reflection in the screen, and you get reminded how shitty your life is. Than the bright pixels reappear and your problems are gone again :).

I've been consuming a lot of content like this lately through youtube and tik tok. And I've started feeling a bit more content with myself and life. I feel like what helps most is rebuilding your brain to be more forgiving and confident in your abilities. Even if I don't do a great job, most times it works out in the end. And I don't fail. I fail to do the work up to my standards but people still think it's enough. What I haven't figured out yet is what I want in life and what my passion is. I've been putting off your exercise for finding this out and I'm planning to do it in 2 weeks. I truly hope it would work because I've never known what I want or I just don't remember. And I believe that if I knew, I would be way more content with my life despite the challenges.

This was brilliant. So to summarise for myself. Go further in with awareness to get out. Doesn’t mean indulge. But act with awareness. Be aware. Got it. Thanks doc

I’m a martial arts instructor for kids and I have been trying to talk a lot about habit forming. And hearing you talk about how bad habits are formed is spot on. Is there a way to rewire it to develop “good habits”? A lot if my students are exhausted from schoolwork and give into that exhaustion and just go through the motions. I don’t want to use the word lazy because it’s not intentional. Would love to get you 2 cents on how to use this to help them.

The crux of this alternative approach is to rather than resist the habitual act, cultivate awareness while doing it. Much of the appeal is that this should be much easier initially than resisting, but what if a big part of the habitual act is for it to command your thoughts and awareness? Even the video games and social media examples he gave are things that suck you in until all you're thinking about is the content you're engaged in. In these cases, I think this approach will still involve a difficult wrestle for control, but hopefully a more manageable and effective one than outright resisting then giving in and giving up.

You always seem to upload these videos when we need them the most. Thank you! I'm from Russia, and have access to neither your guide nor the coaching, but I'm infinitely grateful for your videos, because I'm tired of stagnating

I notice a lot of mental problems we have can mostly be *solved* by literally being aware / noticing it, and being fully present with ourselves in those dark moments and searching for clarity and understanding. As we understand things, they make more sense. As they make sense, it occurs less or we sidestep em, or they don't matter anymore because we know it inside out. Definitely isn't a catch all and there is definitely nuance that needs to be understood-- but my god you can get so far with just being more present in areas of your life you weren't earlier.

AYO MR K, I think I said it before but you really helped me getting out of a hole I've dug myself. I think it's over three months since and my results are showing. I broke lots of bad habits (and while I still fall short at times I do it less often), made new ones, and all in all started living. I believe there's so much room for improvement but I know I'll get there given time. so I just wanted to thank you once more

It explains a lot in my personal life. I became more aware recently during my addictive behavior and now I waste less time and it’s easier to stop. Obviously it’s only the first step and more things happened in the meantime that allow me to increase my awareness. Thank you for your hard work.

It’s a bit roundabout, but I took this to heart today. I have a depression that sometimes rears it’s head, it comes as a train of thoughts mostly of how useless I am and how much better everyone would be off without me, normally it’s an opressive feeling of not being able to break the train of thought, being stuck for hours or days in this spiral. Today, I tried to just be extremely present with the thoughts. Turns out when I stopped resisting and just remained present, the thoughts went unanswered and the depressive episode ended. I have struggled for years and this is the first time I’m able to just let go like that. I guess my bad habit is engaging the depressive thoughts. I am super grateful for this lesson. Thank you dr. K

This was great! Thank you so much! Would you be able to make a video about developing new good habits too? I've wanted to begin a strong exercise habit, along with things like cold showers, and meal prep, but it's such a willpower struggle.

Thank you for bringing awareness to hyper awareness ❤

Dr. K, your background is perfect for what you're currently doing. Keep it up and thank you!

That's such a good video ! What I have realize also is that doing bad habits with awareness also make realize like a sudden shock that we acted like robots about this thing. And then we realize the coping mechanism you talk about and why did that habit, and finally also that often it's in fact not enjoyable and even hurt us. I am shocked at how these two side of something can coexist and be complete opposite as we put awereness or unconsciousness on them ! It make me think about darkness and light...

I love you dude. Respect

Engage with the potato chip with FULL awareness

This is one of the best advices I've ever heard about breaking a bad habit!!!!!! I KNOW that this will help. Thank you soooooo much for sharing

Love this video. I think I'm at tipping point with my habit now. I've had enough of being in denial. It's causing me stress, a loss of sleep and - you absolutely nailed it - me to use alcohol as a coping mechanism. It stops now. I can be 10x better for it if I do. I don't even need the habit, yet I keep doing it. It's self-sabotage at this point. Thank you for helping spell things out, really appreciate it.

I didn’t realize it until i watched this video, but I have been applying the philosophy of breaking bad habits for a while now and I have completely quit nicotine and gaming. Thanks for putting it into a coherent idea.

I don't have that many bad habits but I'll definitely try this out!

Nice explanation. I was told years ago to practice mindfulness but no one broke it down like this so I never started.

What you resist, persist. Surrender to the experience and be present with every fascet. Genius

This actually backfired on me hard, while it works on bad habits it also works on good habits. It would now take active effort to do things like wash my hands after I go to the bathroom or fasten my seatbelt when I got into a car.. wtf do I do?

Bro casually dropping the cheatcodes for life

I was about to comment that this is exactly why 12 step programs aren’t effective for so many people, but then you said it, lol I knew people in AA or NA that spent all their time and energy telling themselves they can’t and so even if they didn’t, it was like the substance was still controlling their lives. The programs tell them that they are powerless against it, and it just seemed so backwards to me. I was going through years of therapy with a great psychologist at the time, and being empowered was helping me. I realized that I have done what you described many times in my life without realizing it. I went from 2 years of drinking every day to not drinking at all because I didn’t tell myself i couldn’t. I would drink if I wanted to, but then I just started to not enjoy it or how I felt after, so I didn’t really even want to anymore. I also have adhd and I wonder what role that played. I was already extremely self aware from years of therapy, but i would also overthink a lot. I would have less impulse control, so i would act on the impulses but overthink during and after. What I’m wondering is about the difference between compulsive or impulsive behavior vs. bad habits. I have picked or scratched at my skin all my life. Dermatillomania… There were times I wasn’t aware of it, but times I was very aware and did it anyway and aware of the consequences i didn’t like and how bad it made me feel. I have not been able to stop yet. I never had issues with addictions (other than nicotine) even though I used and abused things. I was accidentally doing what you described. Yet I have problems because of impulse control issues. So what’s the answer for impulse control issues? How are they different from bad habits? What would be useful for stopping them?

This kind of works. Ive been able to reduce or stop my bad habits doing this along with self healing. By doing "this", i mean, stop resisting and trying to stop myself and just allowing the experience and usually what happens is i realize i don't want to do it anymore, or i dont need to do it (eventually). In order to do that i note my inability to stop, "egoically", that is i cant stop being afraid by being afraid about being afraid and only by letting go. Noting that its actually ok for that thing to happen. Kind of being kind to myself and allowing the parts of me that need, to meet their needs. And also by allowing a blanket of kindness to hug me? This is actually a very big thing for me as i did this coming from a state of being very controlled by my emotions. And ive been trying for a while also. Thanks dr.k. ig one problem ive sometimes had is that i get distracted and get lost in the thing. I think this happens when i try to do this without doing the above and only by "being aware". but more to experiment!

What if you're too aware ? (aka neuro divergent) nothing can be automatic every extra action costs a lot of mental energy cause I'm already sensory overloaded/overwhelmed by the simplest things as they stack onto each other. So hyper ware of/ sensitive to light, sound, pain, temperature, surroundings, movement every waking moment then couple that with overthinking.

This is one of the best videos I've ever seen on the internet. Fascinating, informative and instantly applicable! Thanks Dr. K

Thanks for this Dr K!

Dr.K made me so aware of my bad habits that I stopped watching the video 😂 Jokes aside, this really helps. Thx dr. K

I use my frontal lobe to watch this.

My bad habits recently has been overeating a bit and sleeping at the wrong times. I just started consistently exercising a few weeks ago, and yesterday had a successful first day of proper healthy dieting and fixed my sleep today. Hopefully I can continue! Maybe this video can help. I think for me I have a lot of positive inspirations pushing me forward. One of them is I'm moving soon. My current living situation isn't healthy for me, but the new one I'm moving to will be. It will be like a fresh new start

I did this unknowingly! I overcame an addiction to ice cream this way and didnt realize I was even doing it. I just started with having full awareness of my addiction and inability to stop eating it every time I ate some. I had no idea how I was ever going to give it up or have the self control to stop, but I didnt focus on that. I just kept eating it but not without doing some serious thinking while doing so! Id sit and think about it first for a few minutes before making a bowl of it, and Id think about how bad I wanted it, and how Id feel if I ate it, and how Id feel afterwards. I totally immersed myself in analyzing every thought and emotion. Then Id make a bowl and focus intently on how it tastes and how I just want it all the time for breakfast kunch and dinner! I didnt try to stop myself from eating it, I just gave it my full attention every time I ate it. I didnt realize I was actually taking a habit and making it fully conscious. After doing this several times I started to notice feling like I could choose to not eat it if I wanted to. Sometimes I still ate it, and sometimes I didnt. Eventually I quit even thinking about eating it and just chose other foods instead. That was over a year ago! I didnt even try to stop! It just happened. It wasnt until seeing this video that I realized what I actually did and how I did it. I thought it was just a coincicence.

So what happens when someone with binge eating issues follows your advice and buys 3 bags of potato chips and awarely eats all 3? Also, are monks in an environment where they CAN play video games for 8 hours a day, is a door dash order away from McDonalds, exposed to ads designed to make people crave the food they're seeing, etc. being mindful is important, but it's only part of the equation

Interestingly I've been in some way already doing this with my habit of snoozing my morning alarms, by putting the alarm clock (well my tablet actually) a little far from my bed so I can't just hit the buttons sleepily, but I'll be sure to add extra awareness to that. But what do you do about a habit that has a very low activation cost, like chewing your nails? Because alcohol, or your phone, you need to fetch it or grab it, it gives you a few moments in which you can realize what you are doing; but your hands are right there! The moment you notice the chewing is pretty much when it's already over! Do I have to wear gloves at all times? (might help curb my phone addiction though, and it's a good opportunity to apply some hand cream 😂)

Thank you very much for this insight! I think I have experienced something like that. I had always been obsessed with eating sweets and chocolate. Then I stopped eating sugar about 1 1/2 years ago. But I never forced myself to follow through strictly but instead I would allow myself to eat cake and ice cream at special occasions like invitations etc. And each time I would observe myself how much pleasure it brought to me at the one hand and which consequences on the other hand- like bad skin afterwards or a sore throat and also thinking about the fact that many of my relatives suffer from diabetes. So I discovered that the pleasure was not worth it. So today it’s not even a temptation to me any more because I know that I would regret having eaten it afterwards. They offer me sweets almost daily but I don’t need them .

Mindfulness and awareness of yourself, your body, and others I would say is something I wish was talked about more in depth. So hard to find time to think in such a distracted world, but it’s so important.

Hey Doctor K! I'm addicted to social media, I hate it it's so boring but I need something to rest my brain with so I keep going back. What can I do?

Mann i hope Dr.K won't get kidnapped by the monks after he revealed their most secret trick to us.

I usually never comment but due to circumstances this video could never have been timed better for me. Huge thanks to youtube algorithym understanding my needs. Thank you for your videos Dr. K!

Dude I love you. Your videos are always perfectly timed. Thanks to Dr. K and everyone else who helps with this content.

Can you also build good habits by being mindful of a good action? Would it increase your capability to use willpower to do that action?

He was a monk?! That's quite 😎

Such great advice. Its amazing the kinds of things we will tolerate because we tell ourself we enjoy it, or we have to, only to discover that it never really brought us joy to begin with.

This was a pretty thought provoking video. I'll hopefully incorporate the willpower vs. awareness paradigm into stories I'm writing. One story is about wishing away your free will to become the person you wish to be, while another is about losing humanity slowly because of a mind altering drug that makes people more productive and confident, but robs them of peaceful dreams.

Does this work for pmo as well?I m kinda scared to try because i heard that quiting cold turkey is the best solution and i m 9 days in,but urges still kinda annoying.