Let me know what you guys think about this in the comments. Check out Conversational Intelligence and get an additional 20% discount on the annual subscription at shortform.com/cole
@Cole Hastings first of all I really enjoyed the video and even as a woman I love watching your stuff I know it’s based around men but it’s still very beneficial for us women too. Second though you did forget to put the playlist at the end of the video.
According to a nun, said to me: "Talking to people on zoom Live without revealing their face on Camera, automatically you are killing the social interaction." And I didn't know that.
The problem I have with these videos is that you're pointing out the obvious, I mean really we're all very aware of the realities of the modern world, so I dont understand the point of this video?
People look at me strange for attempting conversations lol Very odd times indeed. It's comical how disconnected we are from each other however it's much more disturbing than comical.
You can blame that on serial killers and people with bad intentions. It's a public place, people want to be left alone. Our safety is our priority so we don't have tine to be buddy buddies
I definitely experienced this moving from a rural town to a bigger city. Back when I lived out in the middle of nowhere, it was so easy to strike up a conversation with someone. You could easily walk up and start talking. Now in the city, people give you dirty looks if you try talking to them. It's so weird...
@@aeoligarlic4024 Yeah, right like there are all these serial killers. BS! The facts are simple- people don't know how to socialize and social media on the cellphone is considered more entertaining.
I’ve started doing that lately too. It’s actually quite amusing. I will say something random to random people and they have odd reactions. Personally I find it funny! P.S I had a head injury last week. Apparently mild concussions can impact one’s impulse control! 😂
Gen Z here and I hate this virtual world we've become dependent on. Everything is fake and it's so bad for our mental health. Let's all take the steps to rebuild our communities and actually have face to face interactions with people.
In my opinion, this virtual world is the most real people have ever been in history "Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth." Oscar Wilde
@@watching7721 double edged sword. It’s also anonymous. No creditability and trolls having no accountability for what they say. Pros and cons to everything.
I always thought that there was a problem with ME, like why can't I keep a group of friends like people on Instagram? I realized growing up Instagram socal media is a lie, and most people don't have a large community of friends. We're all individualistic society. I used to crave a large group of friends, text people ALL the time, invite them places, I used to really try. When I would stop messaging, no one would message me. I quickly realized no one wanted to hangout, make time to go anywhere as a group. It's sad, but it's America and it's how people live here. I had to grow up and get used to it.
I guess its hard to trust a lie.. even if the lie is known Eg: you watch a movie knowing its make believe but it's hard to have make believe freinds I imagine having an actor as a freind being difficult as how can you tell they are acting I can imagine Johnny Depps trial was made hard because of this fact
Im a tradie, 22 years old. Even here its the same, got into it thinking it would be bullshit and banter, nope. Even the old guys just sit on their phones at smoko. Its a lonely life, no one really talks to eachother, i just work to live and fill up as much of my day as possible so i dont reflect on how sad it is.
I started complaining about 10 to 15 years ago. Tried to tell everyone that our phones shouldn't be out when we chill and I was ostracized. They are all still friends. So i feel like people fought for this reality and many people went along with it. But great video!💯
Honestly, I didn't really think about the decline in community. I have noticed the decline in family support (people care for their parents or having children). Know people have different situations but money seems to be the biggest problem.
I've been a part of some online community of people for like 5 years in which I've made all of my online friends on (first we were on amino then moved to discord because amino was a dying platform and also discord made more sense to use). They're by far the most amazing people I've ever met, I owe a lot to them and I can't even imagine my time on the internet without them, I'm so grateful they're there and they help me whenever I'm going through some tough times and I return the favor ofc. (my humor also comes from this community). P.S.; I met them through our common interest of making maps and games, my advice if you want to find a tight-knit community like the one I'm a part of, I suggest joining some community online that you're interested in and doesn't have tons of members but also doesn't have too little (like a discord server or subreddit for example).
Same! I met some rlly awesome ppl online and have known them for abt 6 years now and I've been able to build a community on discord for my projects n stuff,, its really helpful for me bc i cant always afford to go out and travel and i can only walk around in the front yard which is not rlly that satisfying..
But do you meet in real life? I'm glad you found your tribe and that online works for you. I'd love to find a community but at some point if it's online I would like to meet in real life.
@@amandam480 funny you ask that, this summer i'll be meeting up with them. there has also been several meetups between the other members before as well.
My question is: Is individualism a bad thing? As an Asian, most countries in Asia practice collectivism, which creates high pressure within society. For example, in school, students are taught to conform and are afraid to question teachers or express their own opinions. Similarly, in the workplace, people are afraid to question their bosses, tolerate exploitation, and work overtime because the collective is given priority over individual rights. In extreme cases, people may even die from overwork. We can think of individualism as a free bird that flies in the sky, able to go anywhere but sometimes feeling lonely. In contrast, collectivism can be compared to a worker ant that is part of a colony and receives support, but will never be recognized and must work until its demise..
Yeah, it's like both individualism and collectivism have the potential to be healthy and good things, but we mostly only have the negative, ugly versions in our world. Individualism in society has potential in the sense that hypothetically people are allowed to be who they really are and to truly flourish. Most don't. Instead that individualism is twisted to be the kind where people are completely isolated and separated from each other and community, screen addicted, narcissistic, with no support network of people who actually love them. And collectivism, that could be a beautiful thing where people actually work together towards a brighter future and are there to support one another. But it is actually all about conforming to a system and culture where no one gives a fuck about each other, a grey, monochrome life where everyone is out for themselves and the only real interest people have is in making money (in China at least). Humanity has great potential but we seem to love squandering it.
As a college student studying architecture, the suburban sprawl segment really resonates with me because I’ve always felt that there was something wrong with the way American cities are designed. Being able to go out and easily meet and hang out with people close by - within walking distance is very important for our mental health. This also makes building communities and physical spaces for communities much easier and natural
@@alicelong3613 That’s fine, as long as states don’t keep wasting the money that gets funneled from inner cities to the suburbs that always end up becoming financially insolvent within a few decades. Suburbs are fine, just not the way we build them in America… American style, suburbs are ridiculously expensive to maintain because of honestly idiotic zoning laws and minimum set back/parking requirements, which means that longer roads are needed, which means more piping and electrical poles with enough cables to reach every single family, energy bleeding, home in a “single family unit only” neighborhood. Everything is designed around cars, and pedestrians and public transit are an afterthought. Even if the population is clearly growing. Not everywhere can be “rural” or “spacious” just because you want it to be.
Yes! As a student studying architecture, I’m so glad that this is now become a more regular topic. There needs to be a more concentrated effort to change American zoning laws for the better.
As someone who comes from a collectivist/community oriented society, and now lives in the US - Individualism is fucking amazing To hell with other people
Another one I think contributes is the increase of “stranger danger” and helicopter parenting of kids starting in late 80s/90s into 2000s and passed down to kids today from those parents. Starting from childhood kids can’t even go play outside and wander their towns / cities and are naturally avoidant of meeting people we don’t know. Even the parents who want their kids to be kids and learn and play with peers independently are liable for cps to be called on them. I think American city structure and social media ( mentioned in video) are the biggest factors but this was another perspective that popped into my mind. Tell me what you guys think
I have no interest in community because I don't think like most people. I find society very alienating. Nothing worse than being around a bunch of people that you have nothing in common with. Even though I'm kind to everyone they ultimately think I'm weird because of the music I listen to, the movies that I watch and just the things that interest me in general. That and everyone is so hypersensitive these days. I'm always scared I'm gonna offend someone. I basically find socializing mentally exhausting.
The hypersensitive part is the worse for me. I am probably of a different generation than you (I'm 59) but I feel exactly as you, everyone seems spring-loaded to take offense- almost as if they are looking for. When I renewed my driver's license last week I changed my political party affiliation to "none" or "independent". I don't want to be categorized as "oh, you are one of them." So, I wouldn't say I fear offending someone- because I don't ever seek to intentionally offend; I socialize less because I fear, someone may choose to take offense...and taking offense is ALWAYS a choice. (though someone will likely take offense at my pointing that out).
As an asocial person, this new culture of individualism is a godsend. It's great to not feel pressured to be around people you don't care about. Sorry not sorry.
Thank you for providing a more nuanced presentation and reasonable sounding ideas for change instead of lambasting viewers for “not doing the work” or similar sentiments.
I wanna say I wasn't always big on being social being younger.. however the one community that guided me into and out of pain and friendships was "SKATEBOARDING" we use to make crews and skate movies ... It was so cool ! Now my days none of same skate as it was like a guide
He added his research about immigration. The more immigrants in a society, the less there is social cohesion, many times you don't even have a language in common, which breaks down social bonds.
That being said, immigrants, or their descendant, are usually integrated and influence the culture. Make sure you don't fall into the idea of a national purity
@@watching7721 Umm, thanks for the pro tip? There was a similar effect when the Catholic southern Europeans immigrated en mass, there were even some Catholic churches burned down because they were worried the public schools were going to switch to the Catholic Bible. But immigration slowed down and they assimilated. But in order for that to happen we need to close to border and assimilate all the many immigrants we have.
@@MoralGovernment Sorry, I just am always weary about immigrant discussions in general since it oftentimes gets pretty bigoted. Must've been misplaced weariness
Community is not entirely dead. I think of every metal concert I go to from genz to even boomers where the show becomes much akin to going to church. Instead of ones sunday wear its one black t shirt or battle vest. Its a subculture nearly 5 decades old yet highly individualism centered. You literally see families go with their children(with hearing protection).
I agree; Where yeah I’m 25 years old, and guess what I’m going for metal shows for a long time, and yeah what you said is totally true! Like via individualism only my path has being destined to metal music.
The biggest obstacle to returning to a more social society, is the division among ourselves that is constantly re-enforced through media. Also our education system isn't helping much either.
Have you read “ A generation of sociopaths, yet? So many parts of the American dream began to decline began as baby boomers were born and rose into adulthood, (which also coincides with equality. It’s hard not to see to striking correlation over and over again.
You are correct...also notice how things changed rapidly during and after the cultural revolution of the 1960's. I like some of the things the counterculture were rebelling against, but they planted the seeds that led to the destruction and abandonment of our traditional morals, ethics/values. What we have evolved into into since the baby boomer generation is disgusting. Yes, it was far from a perfect world before the 60's, but as far as the things I'm speaking of, I think it's easy to see.
When you belong to a minority, you can't just create a community. Say you follow a different religion or skin color or ethnicity than majority, then there is a possible chance that nobody really wants you. For example, even though I like the same pop-culture or have positive view in life most local people are afraid because I am different ( religion / skin color).
You said video games and that reminded me. The executives of these gaming studios don't really have couch multiplayer anymore, despite how powerful our consoles are and how many people actually want these kinds of games back. I miss being able to have friends over with one console and just go ham on a few games. Now my friends have to bring their entire PC's over if we want to all be in the same room gaming, and most of the time, we all want to be in the same room gaming. Moving a big PC around isnt cool and specifically building a tiny rig to carry around everywhere is not feasible to a lot of people.
Part of why community is dead is that the religions, politics, economics, education, healthcare, military is severely mentally ill and ecologically destructive. Most people I meet these days exhibit various forms of subtle and gross mental disorders and energetic toxicity.
I don’t say this because I am religious (quite the opposite) but you can’t fault religion for giving people that sense of community. The world is too every man for himself now and that makes us both callous towards one another but also isolated. I know so many people who lack adequate support systems or deep relationships of any kind. We need to find new methods to forge communities. How is it we’re more connected than ever but have never been so lost and lonely. 😢
the issue with this video is its making the past seem like life was better. like we "trusted" people more. did we forget how violent human history is? were living in the best times. of course, with it comes consequences. good and bad. so stop dooming and glooming people
I think social life died in the US when women went into the work force in droves. It started in the 70s. Mom was the heart of the home till she had to go to work. Religion, and civic life definitely declined...do we still have PTA meeting? I blame corporations and our weird economy.
The strategy have been always simple for the elite. Divide and conquer without the sense of community the people is more easy to control. Other thing that is important is the critical thinking.
Exactly: - Destroy people's belief in traditional religion - Destroy family - Destroy community And then create substitutes cleverly packaged as "progressive" so the plebs eat it up, which only creates a more atomised society ripe for the elites to pick off and manipulate for power in it's various guises.
love this stuff guy. at first i was skeptical about your channel cuz it seemed like typical self-help stuff but this is rly good n nuanced shit. wonderful video
Like Not Just Bikes said, there isn't a third place to have a place to enjoy your local community. When driving you just consider everything in between home and work as non places to where why would you engage with your city.
I actually was thinking about this earlier. The internet has provided us with the ability to delude ourselves that most things can be done by ourselves. I think it contributes to the heightened amount of mental illness too. It’s definitely real, but I don’t think it’s at the level people make it out to be. Just 40 years ago you had to go to a doctor to get diagnosed or have recognizable symptoms. You didn’t go to a library and self diagnose yourself. Now the knee-jerk reaction for many many people is to Google their symptoms (myself included). More often than not, people diagnose themselves either incorrectly or too severely, then they use the internet to commune with people who came to same self conclusions.
Making friends is so hard in middle school. I swear. You need to like the same video game or something so that they can even accept you. It’s the saddest thing ever.
Wow, these topics align with so many things I've guessed on and wondered about, I don't see other ppl talking about this stuff 🤯 At least from my view. I was thinking about quitting social media again last night and now I think I will. I personally love interacting IRL more and have found being part of a taiko drum community to be immensely helpful for my positive social connection feelings.
The problem is not the individualism but tribalism. We have more tribes now than ever now. Republicans, democrats, MAGA, Feminist, Alt right, ANTIFA, NFAC, Black Lives Matter, Proud boys, trans activist, and many more and they all follow the tribe mantra of "do what is best for the tribe ideology (determined by the tribal leaders) not what is best for you or your neighbor or the community. Community is at its best when it is made of individuals doing what is best for themselves and others. Community fracture when those individuals start to form groups and the group identity become more important than the individuals and the community. In tribes people will vilify the other tribes and blindly follow the group identity precisely because they don't want to stick out as an individual. For example radical democrats and radical republicans will readily ignore the truth when it goes against their agenda and lie about the other side to promote their cause especially when in groups. I have always said I have no trouble having a pleasant conversation with the vast majority of individuals about "hot button issues" but once they get in a group of 3 or 4 people they turn into ideologues bent on the destruction of anything counter to their tribe ideology . The solution is to break down the tribes and become communities but communities of individuals not cookie cutter drones to serve the tribe.
I hate the fact where different opinions that does not harm other people or interfere with an individual lives are frowned upon i hate that people had to leech off others with no good reason or start harassing people for misunderstanding why people wont leave different individuals alone
Dude, I am so happy I grew up in the 90s. I think most of us like the technology and the convenience we have nowadays, but I don't know... everything is pushing us towards LESS human interaction, LESS shared culture, MORE time alone. It's terrible and I'm happy I grew up in a time where it just wasn't like this.
So I work in the live event industry for about 15 years doing mostly conferences. As the pandemic moves into the review I am seeing event like conference growing a lot, not just in how many attend but just the number of them.
You argued in this video that individuality leads to central control. You assumed that individualism = anti-social. In my view, individualism isn't the same as anti-social, and the real threat to the community sovereignty is collectivism. Individualism means that the individuals should judge the opitions they are given and choose what is best for them. Collectivism means that the individual should not judge what is best for them, but what is best for the collective. In all cases, only a small group of individuals will be in charge of the judging what is best for everyone, leading to central control.
Socializing outside and such was a big part of my early childhood, but fell off steeply the older I got as I moved around a lot. I'm still very sociable, easy to talk to and get along with which is why a lot of people don't really catch on that I'm actually fairly introverted in nature. My line of work, for the better part of the last decade, has left me in a state of perpetual social burnout so when I do have time off I don't have the bandwidth or patience anymore to maintain any substantial socializing. I do when I can, but it's probably nowhere near enough as I need to and I don't know if there's anything I can do to really fix the problem since it's not a matter of working too many hours :/
Face to face interactions turn into arguments. Not all the time but for someone with different values than the general population, they’re gonna struggle and no one is gonna care because the person who’s alone wont conform to the world. So the world leaves them behind which leads to what we have today
Public unions have access to the officials and taxpayers coffers when they negotiate. Private affiliated unions are subject to market dynamics and managerial controllers.
Thank you for the excellent video production. The authors who really work on these issues are political theorists, not the lighter Putnam approach. For example, Max Weber's description of the requisite individual movement out of a community in a market-capitalism-economy. Nietzsche's description of the decline in religion due to search for truth killing belief in God.
5:17 "Try to justify morally wrong actions" I feel this is a hypocritical take. Morals are taught and often coded within religious groups and organizations, and what people accept as morally correct may be different from another group or individual. That being said, in order to call out someone's actions as immoral, you have to assume your own code of ethics, by which you judge something to be morally wrong, is correct, an assumption that can be just as damaging or make it harder to convince someone their actions are "wrong."
The decline of the nuclear family, kids are growing up without both parents. Alot of them are being raised by day cares or nannies without either parent even being around.
I've been viewing a lot of urbanism content and I think the sprawling design of N. American cities has even bigger impact than was stated in the video. This became more apparent after spending all of last summer in Europe where every evening the streets were full of life, restaurants with tables on the side walk and friends and families eating al fresco. Town squares with musicians and lovers, friends and families just lounging and enjoying the summer night. Coming back to my American suburb, I fell into a depression. I felt like I was living on a Mars colony. I look outside and I see big lawns and big houses, but nobody outside. Nobody walks. Everyone goes straight from their house to their big SUV and drives miles to get a gallon of milk. Our cities are designed almost with the purpose of avoiding interaction with other people. You don't even have to get out of the car to get a cup of coffee or a donut now. You just order it from a drive-thru window. Typical American cities will have a small street downtown where there are some bars or live music and you have to drive all way in from the suburb to get to it. If you grow up in America and never travel you may think this is completely normal and think nothing of it. When you get out of N. America for some extended time you realize how weird our cities are. Even something like having a train from the airport to the city center is rare in the US. But that's the norm in most of the world. You don't have to get a taxi or Uber or have a friend/family member pick you up unless you just want to. There's always an easy public transit line between the airport and the center city.
Wow I’m amazed how wrong and ignorant your you know Europe doesn’t represent the world right and you’re wrong. Most of the world is designed just like North America and they don’t have trains etc. you don’t know what you’re talking about. Go read a book go to non-white countries, and you will see this
Interesting video, you covered a lot in 20 minutes. Now for some of my observations. I'm 62 years old, and remember how as a kid in the 1960s and 70s we would spend a lot of time outside interacting with other neighbourhood kids. Even the adults would interact more with other adults. This continued on with younger kids in the 1980s and even into the 90s. Beyond that, now you go to neighbourhoods with kids, even on weekends and in the warmer months and it seems fewer kids are outside. I think they're indoors looking at screens of being rushed around to many organized activities by soccer moms or dads. I think we lost something here. It's true less people are into religion. It's part of a trend that's been going on for many years as Western societies become more secular. Another factor is many people, myself included, have been turned off of religion by these far right Evangelical churches. It's further sped up the secularization of most of society. You got it exactly 100% right with this urban sprawl. It not only worsens the bond of community, it's also a wasteful use of resources, and is a contributing factor to obesity. No wonder so many people complain about being lonely.
when you have peers wanting to mask and jab you, any future of 'community' is over. many of you have proven you should never be trusted or talked too, I'm talking to you mask and jab lunatics. the past couple years have shown the true colors of our society. most of you can go to hell.
@@PraiseJesusChristOurSavior The object of masking up and getting vaccinated is to mitigate a public health crisis and ultimately save lives. Those of us who still have some sense of community and understand that it's not just about me, me, me understand that idea. By slowing the spread of a damaging and even deadly virus it's all about looking after others and not just ourselves. It's the exact opposite of being selfish. If you don't understand that idea then you need to do more reading and understand how public health measures like vaccines work and are for the betterment of society.
I’m 31 and I’m not religious. My friends and I like actually talking and laughing and playing card games (and yes, also drinking). I’ll take informal social interaction over religion any day. I honestly don’t see a problem with decline in religion. And I may be friendly with colleagues but I know that at the end of the day, the rat race judges me alone. I am born alone and I will die alone. It’s up to me to make something of myself and self-actualize. No rosy, fuzzy talk of community will fool me into thinking that we’re all in this together. I do admit I wish our cities were more walkable and I really enjoyed visiting Paris and London. I loved sitting at outdoor cafes and people watching. I do care about my fellow man but I admit I don’t want to be part of a collectivist culture.
I'm 41. Growing up house parties where a big part of making friends and finding partners. I could never afford a house to create my own social events. No one young now can afford a house to create social events. I didn't choose the internet and social isolation. I suspect a lot of so called internet addicted people are just working with what they have.
It's true. Most of us are too exhausted to consider getting a drink after work fun anymore. I've made friends, but no one has time to do anything except send memes and text about the rising cost to exist. I'm ready for an apocalypse. I hate this.
@@lindsayb7811 same. At this point meeting a couple nights a week with friends at my hobby shop to play Yu-Gi-Oh is really the only thing I do outside of work. I am thankful for that though with how technology dependant everything is today
Don't worry. The Baby Boomers had a GREAT life. Got to whore around in the 60s, buy $25K houses now worth $1M in the 70s, got good jobs in the 80s, cashed in on the 90s, had a real estate boom in the 2000s, welcomed freaky woke culture in the 2010s (because they just want to live out their lives) and shut the world down in 2020 (because God Forbid they ever die).
I think there is more to this lack of a sense of community than what you've said here. There was already a lack of community in the U.S. in the 80s and 90s. I remember asking my parents about this. They felt that TV as a source of entertainment was a huge one, since before people spent time talking to each other more as entertainment. Neighbors used to know one another. I asked them why that was. Oddly - they said the fact that everyone has air conditioning now and keeps their windows closed was another reason. Before people kept their windows open because they didn't have air conditioning. Before, women were not in the workforce the way they are now. They were home more. This led to women hanging out over each other's houses and talking to each other more. People also had more kids. Now, a lot of people have no kids, or they have maybe 1 kid, maximum 2 kids. Before people had 4 and 5 kids. The kids had friends, and the parents met their kids' friends' parents and made friends that way. Church was a major source of community that most people don't participate in now. Families used to sit down and have dinner together. We weren't allowed to watch TV during dinner. Who does that now? There started to be less trust between people when bad news started to be broadcast on TV more. In the 70s, you heard more and more about people who went missing when they went hitchhiking, or about people kidnapping children, etc. People began locking their doors more and began letting their children play outside with the neighborhood kids less out of fear. If someone rings your doorbell, who even answers the door now? If someone calls on the phone and you don't know who it is, do you pick up the phone? Before we didn't have caller ID, so you always picked up the phone because otherwise you might miss a call from someone you wanted to talk to. What about the fact that everyone is working now? No one is home during the day, so people just don't have time for socializing anymore? People are tired. It's sad, but true.
when you have peers wanting to mask and jab you, any future of 'community' is over. many of you have proven you should never be trusted or talked too, I'm talking to you mask and jab lunatics. the past couple years have shown the true colors of our society. most of you can go to hell.
Nothing wrong with being alone( not lonely) and if being alone makes you lonely, that's a you problem not a society problem. I been alone for 25 years, had no friends or a boyfriend ,and have no problem with it. Only problem I have is ppl trying to make me a problem for not socializing or befriending them when I don't want to. Then when I say I don't want to hang with em they get pissy and start nit picking. Something be wrong with ppl who can't be content with being alone or need a ton of friends. Most ppl are miserable cause they trying to live for society illusions (a.k.a status) that's why all these relationships( dating, marriage, friendships etc) be looking piss, poor, and miserable cause they are transactional not genuine. Gotta train your mind to be content with or without something. We are born in a doom to collapse universe and we have to live with bad things affecting our life. Happiness and sadness are fleeting emotions. That's why being in a any relationships want make you feel fulfilled cuz if it did folks who have friends, kids, spouse etc want be on social media complaining about being unfulfilled even with having a life handed to them easily( rich ppl is an example). Anyways being alone has benefits then being in any relationship. Imagine feeling discontent for being single or friendless and when you finally get what you desire it wasn't what the dream was like. Now youre divorce or lost friends and you're stuck with bitter, spiteful, and revengeful ppl who makes your life worst. you wasted most of your life being discontent when you could of been satisfied with being alone first ,have more happy days, and worry less when bad things do happen no matter the situation as you can handle it alone. Just be content, carefree, and silence your thoughts.
I think this a lot, everyone I've ever known has eventually just moved away, people move constantly, while normalised today I don't think it's natural or healthy
No concept of friends doesn’t exist it’s just something you have as child to help you develop socially and have fun but you should get rid of them by the time you’re 18 no later than 21 and start focusing on yourself and your education and career
Sadly, the trend is hard to reverse. I personally have found that one way to foster a sense of community is by pursuing arts and creative work. They provide me a sense of solace and comfort in times of loneliness.
Very true. I’m extremely fortunate to have been skateboarding for 14 years, so I’ve made many friends who I still hang out with and skate with to this day, who i wouldn’t of ever connected with otherwise. Without it, I genuinely don’t know what else I’d do sometimes. My local skatepark is the place I’ve felt the most community at
I’m an art major and I found myself a sense of that community. I’m in tons of online communities, that we support each other’s work and even help each other. Even in my social life, where I made many friends in school because we share the same interest of art.
Which would you prefer: a collective that dictates your entire life and even denies your individuality or being alone? As a trans I would prefer the latter.
I think hustle culture could also be a part of the equation. If you're focusing on making money and think that social activities are a distraction or just something to improve your social status, then you're not gonna help build real communities.
I'm going to make a bizarre analogy here, but I remember playing Runescape back in the the late 2000's. The game was grindy as hell back then, and it was full of noobs who didn't know what they were doing, just like me. I remember logging in to do painfully slow grinding at about the same time every day on the same server, and I would inevitably run into other people who just happened to do the same activity as me in the same spot every day. With nothing better to do we often ended up chatting about random stuff to make the grind more tolerable, and I ended up making friends with quite a few of them. Eventually I got bored with the grind and stopped laying. I tried playing Old School Runescape a few years ago. The game felt way less grindy than it did back in the day. This time I knew what I was doing and the game had plenty of quality of life improvements, so I quickly surpasses the level of my original account. However, it just wasn't the same. The game has always been overrun by bots, and that hadn't changed. But now it was also overrun by players who behaved just like bots, just like me. Players so concerned with optimizing efficiency that there was no room for casual conversation. Everyone hopped servers constantly as well, (there are many strategies that rely on it,) so I can't remember a single instance of meeting the same player multiple days in a row. At one point I realized that I was having more fun trying to put together my own little bot in python to automate the grind, rather than by actually playing the game. Once I was happy with my bot I abandoned the game entirely.
I was actually reflecting about this today, and I found out that it's because there's no need to be a part of a community anymore. We got institutions for everything. Back then if you were excluded it was pretty bad, nowadays you can just move places easily and people are too tired these days to make any new or lasting friendships.
this doesn't make any sense to me. moving isn't easy. most of us live paycheck to paycheck so we stick to the same place. no one is making friends because people aren't going out enough. also i heard there is a huge drop in social skills as well, so the inability to build rapport is part of the problem.
@@CloverFieldKingdom i feel like i'm arguing with people still living with their parents. you guys still don't know the real world. no wonder you're so delusional.
This isn't happening just in the United States but in the entire western world, even in Latin America, at least in the big cities. My Dad and uncles have preserved their friends from childhood and different stages in their lives...but since my generation (Millennials) people don't preserve their friends of the past, your friends are the two or three you hang out with currently and if you move or change your job, you lost contact with them, I say that currently friendship expires very quickly, it is disposable. But even families are not united anymore, I have cousins I haven't seen in years and I know currently people my age that say the same, they have lost contact with uncles, cousins, the only family they keep in contact with are their parents and brothers/sisters.
@@alphabetpeople2902 I prefer being like this rather than being executed for participating in a political rally, but at the same time I think we can do better than this.
To be fair, i think in Germany we managed to preserve many comunities in our Society. Clubs and organizations are whidely spread and the majority of us are part of a Community.
Yea it’s seeping into Latin America and Asia now I only interact really with my son I barely talk much to my parents and only to one of my siblings I feel soo awkward and different like a stranger when around them I do love and care about them as they do with me but just we are worlds apart
@@denizg.9761 That's great. Which factors do you think play a role in that, I suppose there are in part idiosyncratic and in part the result of some good policies.
@@Dave_of_Mordor It's a government problem. Read here. Why the transfer of... decisions from the individuals and organizations directly involved often depicted collectively and impersonally as "the market" - to third parties who pay no price for being wrong should be expected to produce better results for society at large is a question seldom asked, much less answered. ~Thomas Sowell It is hard to imagine a more stupid or more dangerous way of making decisions than by putting those decisions in the hands of people who pay no price for being wrong. ~Thomas Sowell The next time you see a bum leaving drug needles in a park where children play or urinating in the street, you are seeing your tax dollars at work and the end result of the vision of the anointed. ~Thomas Sowell The 'private sector' of the economy is, in fact, the voluntary sector; and the 'public sector' is, in fact, the coercive sector. ~Henry Hazlitt It is no crime to be ignorant of economics, which is, after all, a specialized discipline and one that most people consider to be a 'dismal science.' But it is totally irresponsible to have a loud and vociferous opinion on economic subjects while remaining in this state of ignorance. ~Murray Newton Rothbard
@@Dave_of_Mordor It is curious that people tend to regard government as a quasi-divine, selfless, Santa Claus organization. Government was constructed neither for ability nor for the exercise of loving care; government was built for the use of force and for necessarily demagogic appeals for votes. If individuals do not know their own interests in many cases, they are free to turn to private experts for guidance. It is absurd to say that they will be served better by a coercive, demagogic apparatus. ~Murray Newton Rothbard Briefly, the State is that organization in society which attempts to maintain a monopoly of the use of force and violence in a given territorial area; in particular, it is the only organization in society that obtains its revenue not by voluntary contribution or payment for services rendered but by coercion. ~Murray Newton Rothbard
@@Dave_of_Mordor In this century, the human race faces, once again, the virulent reign of the State-of the State now armed with the fruits of man's creative powers, confiscated and perverted to its own aims. The last few centuries were times when men tried to place constitutional and other limits on the State, only to find that such limits, as with all other attempts, have failed. Of all the numerous forms that governments have taken over the centuries, of all the concepts and institutions that have been tried, none has succeeded in keeping the State in check. The problem of the State is evidently as far from solution as ever. Perhaps new paths of inquiry must be explored, if the successful, final solution of the State question is ever to be attained. ~Murray Newton Rothbard Capitalism is the fullest expression of anarchism, and anarchism is the fullest expression of capitalism. Not only are they compatible, but you can't really have one without the other. True anarchism will be capitalism, and true capitalism will be anarchism ~Murray Newton Rothbard
@@Dave_of_Mordor Anarchists did not try to carry out genocide against the Armenians in Turkey; they did not deliberately starve millions of Ukrainians; they did not create a system of death camps to kill Jews, gypsies, and Slavs in Europe; they did not fire-bomb scores of large German and Japanese cities and drop nuclear bombs on two of them; they did not carry out a 'Great Leap Forward' that killed scores of millions of Chinese; they did not attempt to kill everybody with any appreciable education in Cambodia; they did not launch one aggressive war after another, they did not implement trade sanctions that killed perhaps 500,000 Iraqi children. In debates between anarchists and statists, the burden of proof clearly should rest on those who place their trust in the state. Anarchy's mayhem is wholly conjectural; the state's mayhem is undeniably, factually horrendous. ~Robert Higgs What makes anyone think that government officials are even trying to protect us? A government is not analogous to a hired security guard. Governments do not come into existence as social service organizations or as private firms seeking to please consumers in a competitive market. Instead, they are born in conquest and nourished by plunder. They are, in short, well-armed gangs intent on organized crime. Yes, rulers have sometimes come to recognize the prudence of protecting the herd they are milking and even of improving its 'infrastructure' until the day they decide to slaughter the young bulls, but the idea that government officials seek to promote my interests or yours is little more than propaganda-unless, of course, you happen to belong to the class of privileged tax eaters who give significant support to the government and therefore receive in return a share of the loot. ~Robert Higgs
I'll mention one thing. As a 28 y/o if you don't like partying or that kind of stuff, you're screwed. It seems that's the only way to create community nowadays. Whenever I get invitations to do something, it's always a drinking night in the club or something like that. I regularly go to the gym, to a yoga studio and do group trekking almost every weekend. I've used Tinder and a similar app but for groups eating out. Yes I've managed to socialize with A LOT of people this way, and made somr stable friendships, but they don't even know each other as they individually have their own groups. This way genuine connection seems impossible, and let's not talk about creating a network. Most of those people seems to already have their own life and social circles that won't include me, of course.
Branch out, your ether not looking hard enough or in a group you don’t actually enjoy, example try going for something that cater to your interest and then speak to the people there. You’ll make connections rather easily, it was easy enough for me and my geek friends, we just spend our day shitting on Tropes, talking about books, reading manga, occasionally playing video games, etc. You’ll have to out actual work on it though, like try to get your friends to come to a convention or something after becoming a part of their lives.
No really it’s insane to me how people have such a hard time making friends, I had a total of four friends before then we created a group chat and more people join in every time, one friend brought her bf from high school, and another brought two guys from work. Your a physically fit attractive man, I can’t see a reason for people not to include you other then a lack of shared interest or being a shit person/around shit people. I’m assuming the former.
Your message is truly so sad. I'm even on a local soccer team but the focus is too much on winning and the playing of the sport and less on building friendships and a community. It's been so hard to find a community that isn't religious.
Then I'll hint ya. ONLY UNDER THE LORD, will we truly be together like old times will we be back and strong again. Hoe would they look like you may ask? I'll be honest, I wouldn't truly know until they've been in my life at least 5 years and as I said before, even I wouldn't truly know. But the Word of the LORD does advise, and ye shall know them by their fruits.
I think you misunderstand the purpose of sports. It's to win and play the game. Building friendships is the purpose of a social club, not a sports team. But there's no reason you can't start your own organization for creating community.
@@tjsogmc The purpose of sports is to win, of course, but seeing it as an only "win or lose" misses the entire point of the sport A well connected sport team will pretty much coordinate better than the individualistic one that only focuses on showing off the best players and using the rest as a fodder, just so that they are there
@@tjsogmc nonsense, for most sports clubs it's a social hub, always has been, unless you're striving to go pro and have a realistic path, and even the teambuilding and socializing is a large part of it. sports are one of the most socially connecting things on earth, or at least it used to be
People in my country (Pakistan) desire a more individualistic lifestyle because of too much "community". People at your place want vice versa. Nobody likes what they have!
A great example of that is the rampant hostility to unions in the workplace. Managers are tyrants at heart, so naturally, there's nothing they hate more than unions. Take the notion of a unionised workplace to its logical extreme, and you get a worker-owned co-op, which is the workplace equivalent of a democracy.
Life has become about survival, not both surviving and thriving. I have no energy to do anything but survive, and when I do have free time I just wish to be alone.
Since I noticed this problem but no one takes this seriously, I am completely lonely. No one has any understanding for me, my opinions and my way of thinking. Seriously, it's really hard to exist in this century despite all these "innovations" - because we forgot about developing ourselves! Most people around me are ignorant, selfish or don't want to hear other people's opinions. In general, I noticed a lack of empathy throughout my life. This led to depression in the last few years and since I go to school, I can't be active to modernise the world (I mean human thinking). I'm also very much into maths and philosophy, the two most underrated disciplines ever!
Not to bum you out, but that's mostly because we trap them with us. The relationship many have with their pets seems vampiric to me. The owner has the pet as a captive source of "feel good" for them, instead of having the pet more as a companion that is more-or-less a free being in their own right. We take away the animals ability to be what it evolved to be (neutering their sex organs, keeping them in a domicile), kinda doing to it what we've done to ourselves. I know modern living often can't accommodate a "free" pet, but who said we should be engaging in "modern living"? The markets do! We don't serve humanity, we serve markets! Welcome to hell :)
@@ManDuderGuy I think some pets genuinely love their owners. You can say that it's forced and isn't real affection but some pets do care for their owners even if animals weren't they'd still be able to make connections with humans
@@starwoodanime1532 I agree with you, yes of course pets can be happy and affectionate, and it's not like we're hurting them if we take care of them. But I'm still saying that it is bizarre and in a sense "wrong" to neuter them and trap them indoors. We are stealing their lives from them in a way. They don't get to have sex, they don't get to experience motherhood etc. It's a tradeoff for them. I know it's not evil or whatever, just pointing out some facts.
Honestly, as an autistic person I have mixed feelings about participating in communities as i struggle to find the importance of community and sense of belonging. Growing up, i've always been shunned for my autistic traits, so i kinda just got used to being alone and doing my own stuff by myself. I envy my friends who can get into communities easily and genuinely have a great time, but at the same time, socializing as an autistic person is really damn tiring, and not to mention that you have to be aware of the social cues in a certain community, and that us autistic people also have to conform to neurotypical expectations in a community, which is REALLY tiring. Therefore, I'm not big on contributing to communities as it seems like an almost impossible task to do as an autistic person in neurotypical communities. I do have friends (most are neurodivergent too), however, but it's different from having to be in communities you know? Like, conforming to the expectations of 5 (mostly neurodivergent) people is waaaayyy more easier than conforming to 20 neurotypical people.
Yes you describe alot of the feelings others in spectrum would say . And you probably describe them better than alot of others . Public outings tire me out even if not social. Social outings with family or small groups can be like anesthesia … come home and instant crash to sleep . You are not alone …. Even if you feel like you are . I’m prolly more asperger than autistic but I get it .
Community is only dead if you allow yourself to pull away and don’t engage. Most people on social media aren’t actually SOCIAL. Most people don’t comment on things they see or watch, most people don’t engage with things they see or the people around them.
when you have peers wanting to mask and jab you, any future of 'community' is over. many of you have proven you should never be trusted or talked too, I'm talking to you mask and jab lunatics. the past couple years have shown the true colors of our society. most of you can go to hell.
This is exactly why community is dead though is this individualistic way of thinking when you say “community is only dead if you allow yourself to pull away” you place blame on the individual while neglecting the overall reality that society is very polarized right now and it can be very hard to engage in a meaningful way
@@ligondesenuts769 do you plan on regularly talking to all the random people you "meet" in the comments? What you call a community is a bunch of comments talking at each other, without the goal of actually getting to know each other. this isnt community.
I also think the fact that American suburbs have nothing to do forces us to be online. I’m 17. Every Friday I am happy that school is over, I get home, and then it’s like: “now what?”. it forces me to be on my phone for hours. There is genuinely nothing to do here. My mom and her friends have the same problem. On top of that it’s always very cold and there are no pretty sight. I walk outside and it’s 20 degrees outside and all I have to look at are dead trees and dead leaves.
@@DK-ym8jr a productive hobby wouldn't change what he said. I've got several productive things I do with my life, and I get out regularly, and I still struggle to actually find places to socialize
@@schmity007 You can certainly used hobbies to help create a community though. Creating school clubs, gathering groups of friends to do it with, or honestly just showing off your skills to your neighbors seem like some great ways to utilize that. But first you gotta get them
I found society in the 1980s to be much more mean spirited. People may have interacted more but our culture was stifling. Everyone was expected to follow the exact same life script and anyone who did not were socially ostracised. Most of my friends felt like our parents had us just because that was what was expected instead of because they really wanted us.
Yeah I’ve realised the conversation here is more based on “there was more community back then, we need to get back to that” and totally ignoring how forced and harmful a lot of the social protocols in those communities actually were and how just being part of a collective doesn’t make you instantly happier.
During the 1980s, materialism hit an all time high...family & friends were affording high-end living/material things,& became overly concerned & impressed with material things...the days of family & community were replaced with greed, judgement, envy & competition... family & a sense of community were lost
I'm sure your parents have a totally different opinion of themselves and their reasons for having you. And that they'd be totally insulted. Typical 21st century selfish answer lol
As an architecture student, we were required to read Jane Jacobs’ book “The Death and Life of Great American Cities,” which details the way that cities are supposed to work to build communities. By living in such individualized units of residence in suburbs, we have almost completely lost the ability to form a local community even if we wanted to. This book is truly eye opening especially from our perspective, since most young people like me and you have never experienced how a strong neighborhood community functions. It is a great read and could be good inspiration for a video!
when you have peers wanting to mask and jab you, any future of 'community' is over. many of you have proven you should never be trusted or talked too, I'm talking to you mask and jab lunatics. the past couple years have shown the true colors of our society. most of you can go to hell.
If you ever get the chance, build a community. Communal gardens, meeting areas, shared ownership of solar or wind energy. These people will be much happier than if every house had everything they needed
@bastiat American Suburbia is one of the most classist, racist, expensive, unfree, environmentally-unfriendly and impractical systems of land use design to exist. A bunch of semi-isolated prisons where the nearest Grocery store is 5 mi away or 10-15 minute drive. Or any things necessary to live in a modern economy. Which exists due to propaganda during the late 1950s by GM, Auto Companies, Real Estate Developers, the Eisenhower administration, and the DOD. Military considerations aside it exists to make certain industries exist in their current capacity today and as wealthy as they are. Rarely anywhere on earth does such car-centric infrastructure exist in any modern/advanced economy. I could go on about how impoverishing it is(by design), but just know Suburbia isn't a natural evolution, it's by design. Keeping the current system set up less than 80 years ago alive and said system's creators rich.
You've been propagandized by a socialist utopian :D. Cities don't work like cities used to work either. I've lived in the same apartment building for 20 years in NYC and barely know any of my neighbors. This is a cultural shift, whether you live in the suburbs with lots of space, or are crammed into 1 building living on top of each other.
It's crazy cause I just turned 20 not too long ago and even on the short amount of time I've been alive, I've noticed how much things have changed in the world. People used to seem more friendly back then, cause I'm in college now and it's rare to even make eye contact with people to get a smile while walking too class. I've made it a goal of mine to at least attempt to make eye contact and smile at everyone I walk past and get a smile from at least 2 people a day, just to try to make people feel acknowledged. In middle school I suffered from depression from being lonely, but after getting some therapy I learned a lot and I now make it my goal to try to make sure people don't have to feel that way. Sure technology has put us in a bubble, but making active efforts to really rekindle that sense of community can go a long way
Funny you say that. The USA started going downhill after 911, and to be frank has never recovered from being paranoid 24/7. Yes there was a time when most people were fairly chill and it took alot for adults to explode in public like children. The internet in itself was a mixed bag, but I think the rise of the smartphone after 2010ish didn't help the lack of empathy you see in everybody nowadays.
That stuff was going on that you described when I was in college and that was over 20 years ago. I remember when 9/11 happened my freshman year and that's when everything changed. People were less happy out in publics. You could just feel people's optimism and joy change to sadness and despair.
Try 30, I grew up in the late 90s and throughout the 00s world changed a lot to me in the past decade. If you told my teenage self back in 2007 that the biggest issue to some people in the 2020s would be pronouns and AI would become good enough to threaten the livelihoods of artists I would have called you a schizo. World felt lot more lax back than, friends were insulting and edgy with each other but still friends despite it all, malls were starting to die but lot of people from my school still hanged out at one, social media started appearing but it wasn't as polarizing as it is now. I do feel sorry for Gen Z, it's pretty much a different world now and they have to tip toe around out of fear of being rejected by their peers.
Post-covid I noticed how closed-down everyone seems. I think a lot of it is fear--certainly the news media and the internet seem to want us to all be afraid, angry, and confused. I made exactly the same resolution you did--which was to smile at people and try to make them feel acknowledged. For a while I was watching these "horrible Karen videos", but I decided that they just make you dislike people more, and make you even more alienated. I've noticed that on airplanes no one talks to anyone else anymore. You can be on a long flight and your neighbors act like you are probably a serial killer or some crazed evangelical. This cold, unfriendly behavior is the new normal. Personally, I think it's sick.
when you have peers wanting to mask and jab you, any future of 'community' is over. many of you have proven you should never be trusted or talked too, I'm talking to you mask and jab lunatics. the past couple years have shown the true colors of our society. most of you can go to hell.
The opposite of individualism is collectivism, which isn't the same thing as community. It's an ideological perspective. Do you consider yourself valuable and sovereign? Then you're probably an individual. You can still have community and promote individualism. Tribalism, ironically enough, is the root of our problem. You would think something like that would promote community but all that does is make communities smaller by making people ostracize and cut out those they view as degenerates.
What the west has is hyper individualism. And hyper individualism destroys the whole concept of community. We are reaping what we have sown due to hyper individualism: - Increase in addiction amongst citizens - Increase in Anxiety and Depression - Loneliness Epidemic that has been proven to be far greater amongst hyper individualistic societies (no shocker there) - Decline of marriage - Birthrate decline
It's harder than ever to have community mostly because people don't know how to accept that we're all human and go through everyday struggles, but that we should be here for one another despite our differences. As someone who views himself as more spiritual than religious, I respect people from all walks of life simply because they're human and have their own struggles and views and I've noticed that the more I just see people as they are the more empathy I begin to have for others, but also looking at my own imperfections before I judge others for theirs because community means a lot to me. Even as someone who deeply values individuality to a high degree, I still want to have people around me where he have each other's backs and care for one another in times of need. Recently, I started picking up trash in my neighborhood and I remember someone asking me "Why do you do this every Saturday?" My response: "Because I care about my neighborhood." A month later, I've seen about 10 others out there with me every Saturday picking up trash and we have a community of people looking out for the cleanliness of our neighborhood. It's a beautiful thing to see.
I crave a good community, but after having experienced betrayal and abandonment from people I thought were friends, I just can't bring myself to rely on or trust others at their word or public actions. Snakes in the grass man, snakes in the grass.
@bastiat woah, you gonna stretch before reaching like that? cause where did I say I was perfect? where did i say I didn't forgive them? where did i call all people bad? at worst, I implied communities always have malicious people in them. at best, it's my anacdotel experience having been in religious, academic, sport, and misc. hobby centered communities that all had snakes in them. now I dunno about you, but if a friend: leaves the lease agreement early without telling me giving me 5 days to find a new home, tries to start a false rumor about one of his friends r@ping his sister because of personal petty drama, brings a gun into my house without telling me and the does a negligent discharge almost shooting my dog, trying to steal my dog, or a friend r@pes someone, I don't really want to be friends with them anymore. (All different friends from differnt communities btw, lord knows i *tried* to trust en mass again 😭) I've made mistakes in my life, yes, but I haven't done shit like that to anybody. lastly it's the way communities tend to be light on these snakes but cruel to the victims that really drives me away in disgust, and it happens all the time especially in churches like Christianity and whatnot. tldr: you can forgive people *and* want to no longer be friends with them after the fact. and while it's individual people that commit the transgression, it's usually the communities' collective reaction to the crime and victim that lead me and many others to give up on any communities all together.
@bastiat 1) the first one never said everybody is snakes 🤣 i literally just said that I don't trust communities because theres always someone who hurt others. Trust me the first comment isn't edited or anything, read it again. 2) the second comment says the same as the first but with my personal anecdotes and my personal opinion on forgiveness. 3) stay safe out there pal 🙏
I never really experienced "true community" even when I was young. I was surrounded y horrible people that hurt/ditched me on a constant basis and I was never close with anyone. I'm pretty sure a lot of people share the same fate, they had no choice but to be surrounded by terrible people and that is what was called "community" back then. Personally I'm glad technology makes it unnecessary to deal with most people anymore...
There are some good. But mostly its doing sovial media is also infiltrated and they doing more hatm than good so it all boils down to us. The most important question is what is your next step? I'll see ya out in the field, comrade. Truly, I wish you the best.
This is something I didn’t even consider. For many people, “community” is something that actually did damage, so being able to do things alone is actually a blessing for them. Thanks for making this point.
A well connected community that is full of people who are fully individuated and understand themselves and the roll they play within that community is the ideal IMO. Possible? Na but we can try
The schools hardly allow that for children. At least that's been the impression I'm left with. And when they lose their individuality as kids, I don't know if they would willingly change towards more individualism as they grow up.
Unfortunately it isn’t because it isn’t the norm. The masses follow what the masses endorses, and the masses endorses me me me. My money, my pleasure, my peace and my progress. A few individuals that are awake will find more suffering because of being awake, but the counter to that is to cultivate a good life while being awake. Try to make an effort to find like minded people, or at the bare minimum, just use this knowledge to cultivate positive interactions outside until you eventually find a friend or social connection. In the mean while, life your life as well as you can live it. Don’t judge people, be kind, plan a good use of your time with positive and joyful activities outside of necessities such as work and household and ultimately cultivate peace inside of yourself. We have much to be grateful for as we are living in the most comfortable and easiest of times, so I think baring patience on people being too addicted to technology as a trade off is acceptable. Live well by using time well, choosing good thoughts and finding peace. If good friends and like minded people happen to bump into you, don’t hesitate, open yourself to them. If they don’t, remain content that you are trying to live your life well and are actively trying to cultivate kindness and inner peace for your soul. No point over complicating our reality.
As a trans, that's the only community I would sign up for. The community that doesn't accept my individuality and wants me to confirm to their social rules? No thanks, that price is way too high and I'm not willing to pay it. I'll prefer to be alone.
when you have peers wanting to mask and jab you, any future of 'community' is over. many of you have proven you should never be trusted or talked too, I'm talking to you mask and jab lunatics. the past couple years have shown the true colors of our society. most of you can go to hell.
We all need to consensually separate into our own groups. So everyone can follow their own individual desures, but still be in a community of like minded people.
@@remc0s Fight Club was always about societal change. The director David Fincher commented in an interview in 1999: "We're designed to be hunters and we're in a society of shopping. There's nothing to kill anymore, there's nothing to fight, nothing to overcome, nothing to explore. In that societal emasculation, this everyman is created."
It’s taken years of being backstabbed, ditched, and unappreciated to make me lose faith in community. Why do they lie to us as kids, saying if we’re kind to people we’ll make friends? That’s the biggest lie, especially for family and the workplace. Humans are so selfish, and kindness is only something they look down on. Why would anyone want a community in THAT? Edit: to clarify, my issue isn’t that people aren’t nice in return, my issue is the people that actually hurt me in return!
It's a cursed circle, where somepeople long ago got hurt by bad people, learned to act bad to others. Then new people got hurt, started acting bad and so on and everyone plays innocent card "I am good, but world around me is bad, so I act bad". However, the moment you condemn others for sins of others in the past you become bad as well. Being good is the act of selflessness, but everyone expects reciprocation
i'm a 10th grader. it's genuinely been so hard for me to make meaningful connections ever since stuff like tik tok became really popular. i feel like the people that surround me care more about a virtual world than the real world especially after covid. i talk to people at school but i'm not 'accepted' into their group as i dont really use social media. i will literally never see any of them again once i'm out of school. but i've started to get used to it, being alone at least made me realize what i wanted to do with my academic life so now my priorities are set on being accepted to a high ranking college. i just hope i can make friends like i did in my childhood again but i doubt thats possible now
In choosing a college, be sure to visit and see how friendly the atmosphere is. That is a super-important thing. I only applied to colleges that didn't allow fraternities and sororities, and ended up going to Oberlin. it was super-friendly in the Sixties, but is now embarrassingly politically correct and intolerant. It may still be friendly, I'm not sure. Being at a school where it is easy to make friends is incredibly important, especially for people who have just left home. I made the mistake of getting my masters at the University of Chicago--a school with a high reputation but an absolutely hostile emotional atmosphere. I escaped to the University of Wisconsin, which was a lot nicer. College is not just part of a career-path; it is important for one's emotional and social development.
@@RmationYT well go find someone else like you. Either online, ask you're parents if they know someone who has a child "like you" or aks litterally anyone else who you know if they know someone, are you attending any colleges or schools you can probably find someone there.
That was great! I'm glad someone is talking about this! It's literally killing us, hyper individualism. The hippies were on the right track but their "change it from within" attitude was just them selling out to corporate America.
