the scariest things a D&D player could say 

or the scariest of all...taking notes

wouldnt be a nightmare if 5e was actualy a good balanced system that cares about the dm as well, but well it isnt

@@mortian7566 cry more, retard

@@mortian7566 100% agree. 5e is designed to give the players an absolute power trip while taking a fat nasty crap all over the GM. How many challenges have you made where the player can just wave their hand and undo it? It's crazy to me that people defend it and say "you're just not a good GM" when there are people out there that have a made a career on youtube pointing out how broken 5e is. It is not well designed at all. We tried out EZD6 past couple 1 shots. Once our current campaign is over, I'm fairly certain I'll never touch 5e again. It's an absolute joke.

The HORROR

600 words per minute AND Keen Mind

yeah why is it scary that a player is a) taking extensive notes, and b) using information told to them in a previous session to solve the riddle in front of them? These both seem like the exact thing you're supposed to do.

@@pedrogarcia8706 Yeah...In my experiences the player that takes keen mind uses that as an excuse to take zero notes. Keen mind is often used as a "The DM is my notes now"

I have a player like that and is a blessing for me. When I may had forget something that i improv in the moment of a short campaing 4 months ago I can just ask him for his 11 pages of notes. The down side is that if you ever let something out that you shouldn't, that guy will know and never forget about it. Great palyer 10/10 btw

This player is my wife

Nystul’s magic aura is second level, you could say it is active or that the npc has a magic item for it. Non-detection is also useful, but that is more noticeable if they actually do try to scry on them. But the multiple sus npcs thing is a great technique that I will try to use going forward as well.

@@lightbearerslamp5870 Remember, you can also have someone non-sus be the bad guy.

Exactly, no one wants to go full "With this character's death, the thread of prophecy is severed" just because you, as the dm, didn't account for the team killing the villain early, intentionally or otherwise.

Or make the villain so strong that them hiding in plain sight doesn't matter, they just change the MO as soon as they get had.

Take another option: there is no bad guy just a lot of paranoia-causing strife and conflict

That's the lawfull good version of "It's what my character would do."

@godofzombi *Slits the party's throats in their sleep* "It's what my character would do, he has attachment issues"

Yeah, Chaotic Neutral.. LOL "I will do anything without even knowing what I am doing from one moment to the next.." LOL

@@mutanthybrid3466 This one's the classic chaotic stupid

@@GBS4893 Yeah, I had one of those in one of my campaigns. I was like, "If you are that good at role playing, why not roleplay an actually intelligent, rational person for a change?" It almost seems like the Chaotic Stupid people are just trying desperately to troll the entire campaign for no reason.

Personally I think the DM should require the player to ask something more specific than "what happen".

Imagine playing a Face character, but you are too incompetent in your ability to speak, so you *have* to rely on the roll of a die to determine whether or not you succeeded in persuading that bard to spend the night with you. …Imagine playing a Face character, but you are the most eloquent person alive and a Nat 1 says “Wowee gee wiz you really moved us with your outstanding inspirational dialogue, but you still rolled a 1, so f*ck you.”

@@Deoxys_Used_Mimic that ladder half is so frickin relatable.

@The MimiCreed this is why I allow for success if the 1+ability score is higher than the DC, and why I explain failures through circumstance outside the character's control. E.g. A charismatic character rolling really low accidentally triggered ptsd in their listener when they mentioned a certain town (where the npc's family was, as of now, brutally slain).

@@Deoxys_Used_Mimic Sometimes things don't go your way And sometime things go the way of someone else

Said the player being an hour late after the GM called him and he finally answered.

"I forgot we're playing today and I'm already high" is also a favorite of mine. We had to pick the guy up and he was barely remembering who he was playing.

What about : "F*ck this sh1t, I'm out"?

My last problem is that they stopped saying "I can't make it to today's session", but started saying : "Ho I'm sorry I forgot to warn you I couldn't make it to last night's session"

@@TrollMalefico1984 that's clear and everyone knows they can continue without that player, "I can't make it today" means everyone needs to reschedule

It gives u a bonus to an ability score so it adds some numerical bonus.

@@davidstratton696 You got me there

Keen mind is a great ability that's easy to abuse if you don't monitor it. If it's used to remind players events that happened "last week" (a year ago irl) or if a player is on the right track but is missing a detail their character has been exposed to, it's fantastic. It does NOT say "I don't have to pay attention at session because my character remembers everything and the DM has to give me the answer at some point."

​@@tordix4467yes. It DOES say that actually. Keen mind essentially gives that character photographic memory. So yes. It actually does give that player essentially full rights to just tell the DM. I remember even the tiniest detail perfectly. That's the point of the feat.

@@tordix4467 it does

Did you name them Matt Hagen ?

You've read the Locke Lamora books before creating that character didn't ya? ;) (if no, then you might wanna)

why would they need to review anything?? Keen mind.

@@JTheTeach Keen Mind is limited to a 30 day time frame. He reviewed collected identities so he wouldn't forget mannerism and the like.

That's an interesting idea I might take some of it

That would be atrocious to play ngl. You're not even paying attention if you transcribe, you're just writing stuff up

@@tekakiuluy3221 But still,he listens most of time's. But kills riddles by not forgetting ANYTHING and makes some punch lines really dull. But i feel respected when player paying FULL attention out of interest or FULL META.

Honestly, I'd only allow stuff they wrote done. So its not completely broken, and he thinks he knows what the key looks like, show me what it looks like in the book, if it accurate roll with advantage to remember tiny insignificant details like jack reacher

@@tekakiuluy3221 A player in our group with keen mnd takes recordings of the sessions and takes notes after each one on everything that happens. With the groups' consent, of course.

@@kevincandelario2573 to be fair remembering the keys is not only completely realistic in DnD but there’s IRL people like that and you not having memory that good or not liking it isn’t excuse to whine and not plan around it Realistically you could just adapt by not letting the guy see stuff or plan around it by having him remembering some stuff actually be a detriment *or you could just be a proper DM and know what your players have especially stuff they actively use and don’t make forgetting be the sole difficulty*

It's all magic. Overwhelming. All of it. You are blinded for 4d4 months.

@@donatodiniccolodibettobardi842 jokes on you fighting initiate: blind fighting gives me blind sight

@@ttominable Impossible! Nobody could take this Feat!

Arcanist magic aura

@@TheLegendaryLegacy such a good tool for a DM running a BBEG that uses magic traps. Make everything look mundane, I clouding magic items on themselves, and non trapped doors look like evocation. Is very useful to make the party paranoid and actually be careful.

Divine sense lasts 1 round. You can use it for 30 seconds a day, given you get it 5 times. All he has to do is give you a few suspect people/objects and let you waste it.

This why we don't roll ladies abd gentlemen.

@@deezboyeed6764 That’s y we do.

Honestly if your a dm and having trouble with stuff like divine sense there is literally a spell for that it's called Nystul's Magic Aura and it's a second level wizard spell that lasts for 24 hours (becomes permeant if it gets cast on the same creature/object for 30 days) and it can fool stuff like detect magic/divine sense and give no or false results.

@@Neo3602 You can also have a false lead, like some death sorcerer that gives a false positive who you focus on because you believe it's them, when really it's a totally different person hiding from your spell. There's always ways to subvert the easy solutions. But most importantly, read your spells!

Honestly a MONTH of perfect memory alone would be a strong feat in most editions. Almost removes the need for survival and raises a stat.

Truthfully, "excuse to write everything down and use those notes" is kind of the opposite of Keen Mind. Keen Mind is the excuse to not have any notes because you can just make the dm tell you anything, since the feat says you get to remember.

I had a character that wrote down what everything tasted like. Of course he had to take a bite out of everything to know what to write down. He was compiling a tome called "What things taste like". He died heroically while trying to figure out what a dragon's breath tasted like.

@@LordBaktor omfg That's amazing. What a way to go 😄😄

@@LordBaktor So I guess the answer is "it taste like Death?"

They have an artifact that stops the bloodthirst, but can also be used for having access to high level spellcasting if attuned. One of them is planning to steal it. If they succeed the party should RUN VERY FAST.

Divine sense also senses good and evil.

@@samuelblackthorne9122 They're all either good or evil, one's just a criminal

That's an X-Files rip-off! Excellent, I rip off the Files too as a DM 8>D

@@Snoil That's actually a Suikoden 2 ripoff, but I don't expect too many people to know that game.

You know that they are as rare as finding a needle in a hay stack?

Personally, I love playing with the fact that you remember everything you've seen, so if you just didn't see it because you were too busy monologuing about your own brilliance to yourself then keen mind doesn't grab it. Makes it way easier on the dm too, while still letting you use some of the really dumb possibilities of keen mind

Doesn’t work when the dm retcons 99% of what he did because he realized he made his dmpc into a child murderering psychopath, or that he let a player do that, but doesn’t want to deal with the consequences

Honestly, if a player is willing to take super detailed notes and rely on them for keen mind, I would be ok with it. If they're just going to ask me constantly and force me to spend time checking and remembering everything in the middle of trying to run the game, that I'm not ok with

@@WolfWarriorLive This is so me I mean like I barely keep notes myself and I'm the DM

I used it to make an alphabet board to teach an ooze English

@@cmasonw why?

wanted to communicate@@Madhattersinjeans

bro got them 25p photos

@@sarahmellinger3335”… a picture, up to 25 words…” these are separate. Picture is picture

Well more so float away by thought

It'll still be the Terrasque's turn right after that, there probably won't be time to flee with brain power.

*cries in 5 intelligence from rolled stats

@@Kashlikaro if I were dming in that scenario I'd probably have them re-roll initiative in the astral plane to at least give the player a chance of getting away.

So your basically saying if you get caught by a Tarrasque it's insult on top of injury 😂

I mean, it might make for an even cooler moment if they actually figure it out from the foreshadowing rather than being surprised by the reveal. Though of course idk the specifics

You just have to use it to make them seem even more unlikely as the villain. "No way it's that guy, we called him a villain as a joke! It's gotta be the other guy."

This exact thing happened with our curse of Strahd game. The DM introduced a character that sounded a lot like Strahd..... The party even joked about it.... For 30 whole sessions. And then the DM reveals in the final battle that this character was actually Strahd in disguise

Or they remember your RU-vid tag name and see this message~.

I think the best way to do it is too lean into really hard while also making a bunch of red herrings, chances are they'll assume the character is just another false alarm. Just make sure you go that route on the 2nd or 4th fake out, everyone will probably suspect the 1st, 3rd or 5th to be the real one because we all have monkey brains.

He's the vampire! Look, he'll turn to mist any second now! ...any second now.

@@livenishikireaction See? Mist! Oh, no, wait, that's blood.

​@@elliotwintersdemanagabei9437 So... we still have problem.

@@toxicdemon1315Big problem…

if your a bully then maybe

Nah, Monk/Rogue with Mobile feat, Basically an untouchable ninja, move in stun lock sneak attack run away. Your DM will hate you.

@@R0GU351GN4L And kill you.

Correct

@@R0GU351GN4L with a 2-level dip in Divination Wizard so that any target you try to stun that has high Con saves will be forced to take Nat 1's.

Bro that honestly sounds like a good time

I love the idea that this means that Colton is just an aspect of Jacob's personality.

I wish I could do that. Probably be able to get everyone together for that.

He became a dad recently so going insane is totally plausible lol

But does it solve... scheduling problems?

What the fuck

Ngl, thats awesome

One of my players is a Kenku and records the session to take down notes for her bird dictionary. So if I have any questions I go to her.

@@TheTacosAreHere This is such a cool way to do it. Do they also take notes of the voice that said the word?

@@ieldore yep. We have a lot of accents so that tends to fall off, but generally the tone and who said what.

"Watch! He'll turn red any second now. Any second. See? RED! wait no, that's blood."

@@thatguyyousawonce7671 “So, we still got problem”

@@Gigabyte019 "Big problem... Alright, whos ready to go find this Spy?"

@@thatguyyousawonce7671 “right behind you”

@@Gigabyte019 DOOT DOOT DOOT DOOT, DOOT DOOT DOOT DOOT DOOT

you monster xD

I want to be that guy, because my memory is terrible... but at the same time, I do not want to spend my time taking notes, because I am missing the moments, and I also miss the opportunity to roleplay and or come up with things on the spot, because I am taking notes.

@@farrex0 totally fair, there are so many player types out there, not everyone is a note-taker :D

As a dm, I love that one of my players does that

@@ohmygoditisspider7953 I like it too, actually. It just feels really good to be able to help and have the info. Helps a character we have with keen mind as well, they'd be like "i read that 4 sessions ago" and I can pull it up. Puts pressure away from the dm so they can focus on their stuff as well, and when they want to plan ahead without telling me anything, they just name a general area or plot point, and I just pull everything up I have on it, even if it wasn't about the place but that one sentence a character said in there.

it was the "don't make me remember something else..." for me

It's the little things like repeating "been a while" or making off handed puns that gets me

how tf you not have a d20!? no you cant borrow mine! lol

Or the amount of times your table gets side tracked and it takes no less than 5 "ANYWAYS" to get back to the game

@@Monkeespankr there's always the people with no dice and people with 3-5 sets of dice at the table.

Wizard casting fly:

The scariest thing they could hear..."WE ARE PLAYING RULES AS WRITTEN"!

​@@TonySoprano-vy7kd a level one aarackra :

@@sadrakeyhany7477 with sacred flame and free 1.5 hour of time

I do mine over discord and I literally just screen record that shit so I can rewatch it for important stuff 😂

court reporters in the background: ~ hello ~

Currently in a campaign with someone who actively does this. I only do it for important lore bits, but they put down mostly everything

I love players who do this, and take notes. It's so nice when people remember what you have said and hinted! Best players!

@@tergartcunninghan2013 That's incredible. I hope they know that is incredible. They're basically writing your screenplay word for word.

"Look, see, vampire!" "No, wait, that's a spawn..."

Felt just like when my DM suddenly needs to explain in detail, the architecture of a random unimportant building and however awe inspiring the carved finishes on the stonework could be, if it was actually any impressive building our Dwarf was asking about.

Reminds me of when I suddenly had to determine what year it was in a homebrew setting my wife and I created because we allowed a player to play a warforged who had been dormant in a Dwarven workshop, but had no memories of his life, and I needed the dwarves to have kept records, so he didn't think he had been a slave. Up until this point, the only historical reference to go by was that the region had been sealed by a nearby nation thousands of years ago, around the time the nation was founded.

It should have smash cut to the note taker glancing at his book and: "uhm... It's tuesday"

Was expecting a reply like "It's Friday."

oof

Source?

@@lukesolo1677 Literally just the Player’s Handbook.

You, sir, have absolutely saved my bacon.

@@lukesolo1677 Nystul's Magic Aura. or just Magic Aura for basic rules.

@@lukesolo1677 Are you mentally challenged?

Every BBEG should employ a mage to make them a ring of mind shielding. Or make one themselves.

"Congrats, you successfully completely neutered an entire already-highly-niche class feature that the Paladin gets to have with a simple 2nd level spell"

Or you have a party member who also counts as the exact same creature type that you are trying to find. I'm still mad about it. It's so cool yet so shit and useless. Honestly, to make it more useful have them also be able to be expended as 5 more health for the lay on hands pool. Also Divine sense is only a binary on or off, because it doesn't tell you how many or where they are. Because fuck you.

@@Kashlikaro Well it's either that, or have your BBEG be a complete moron and ignore a spell that makes his entire plan possible

@@Kashlikaro "Oh no. My Divine Sense didn't work here. Playing a Paladin is useless!" -Said by no Paladin ever.

Divine Sense requires no roll

@@SRVaris a luck check is not a roll for the divine sense itself, but for the other actions the player is doing, to be lucky enough to be in range

"Roll d20--Wis" during a bed scene. "What for?" "To determine how much levels that succubus pretending to be a barmaid you "masterfully seduced" takes before you realize it."

Give me a Perception check

Roll Perception

"I quit"

"What's your passive perception?" while you're camping

While I agree, I think that's only valid if you're GMing for like 2 people. Once you have 3 or more they pretty much have every corner covered so long as they pick different abilities. 5e is just too obsessed with giving players easy outs instead of letting them face a challenge.

this is the real point of the video ooh aah look at how clever and deep I am

but also, let your players sometimes use their abilities to solve problems. That's why they have them. They're gonna feel like shit if they picked Paladin and every time they use Divine Sense it doesn't work, and you reveal to them that the vampire masked his presence or something.

@@XPtoLevel3 hello

Hey I'm a new dm can you give me a couple of ideas please

I've had the idea to pay a blacksmith to make some custom coins that I could slip into peoples pockets and the cast locate object on the coin, causing it to become a tracking chip

That seems more like the DM just handing it to you because they didn't want to make a thing out of it or because your party messed up and lost the real solution. There's no chance that dagger's not being found and tossed by the kidnappers, and even less chance that the kid was just allowed to keep it after it was found. Literally the first thing a kidnapper's supposed to do after grabbing their target is search them for traceable items, weapons, and things that might aid in escaping. A dagger fills out 2/3 of those by default.

@@slammurai6492 well- until they ‘spend’ the coin and you end up at a bank or trading post. I guess like same-day that would be very helpful but I imagine a few weeks from the coins exchanged hands.

@@DoABarrelRol1l then a sort of business card. that could work.

They'd have to roll godly stats to even do it.

@@GrimHeaperThe there's this wonderful thing called the point buy system. The build would only need dex, int, and wis, so with the correct race choice they may not even have many negative modifiers.

I haven't done it yet, but I have this dream of making a string of human fighters and getting one killed each session and replace them with almost the exact same character And name them all after Dave Ryder from that MST3K episode.: Blast Hardcheese, Bull Bigflank, Crunch Bonemeal, Punch Sideiron, etc.

That would be glorious

@@GrimHeaperThe Godly stats? Oh gee, three 13's...

Заклинание 3 уровня позволяет не быть целью любой школы прорицания. Просто используйте все заклинания, если игроки используют все заклинания.

It actually being useful is a surprise

I took and, and decided my character forgot everything after 30 days. It pairs nicely.

I always remind my players of things they would remember as human beings because I find it unfair to expect people to have perfect notes and/or remember sessions from weeks or months ago. As a result, Keen Mind really just enhances the detail I give my players

@@joshy3614 is adding concentration check possible? Because if yes then you also can make them roll on cast with possibilities from "you remember but still glance over seemingly insignificant event as you cannot focus on details from amount of continuously information", to "you remember everything precise and clear. looking into events of seeked day you manage to get every information you need" Well, something like that. With check scaling from intelligence of course. I am nor DnD player, neither GM. So I don't know how rules cover keen mind

@@DimkaTsv I mean that would be an interesting homebrew mechanic, but I think in practice it would probably feel stiff. At the end of the day, everyone at the table are friends trying to have fun together, and I think at some point we have to ask ourselves whether or not trying to punish (hyperbole) players for forgetting stuff IRL is truly fun for anyone, including the DM. And making someone roll for something which can completely bog a session down due to the party missing crucial information seems a bit too easy to go wrong. I just generally think about what the bare minimum my players need to be reminded of from previous sessions, and if they have keen mind, I give myself more liberty to flesh out the important details that most other characters wouldn’t care to keep track of. I appreciate the idea, this is just my take on it as a DM, and also as a player.

@@joshy3614 Sure, i understand your position and not forcing anything. But for GM's that are sick of this " legal cheat" it may be solution

Rule number one: respect the DM, for nothing you can create will hold a candle to the almighty DM screen. No build is flawless and untouchable. They all can and will be crushed if a point must be made. On a less horror story-ish note, the point of the game is to have fun and no one should threaten to punish anyone else without good reason, and even then it is probably smarter to remove them rather than make the whole game unfun over it.

"Isn't it just crazy how after Brian's new character arrived this entire campaign became almost entirely focussed on social roleplay encounters?"

I’m of the opinion the DM gets veto power on character options. If the DM thinks something is unbalanced or some combination is they can ban it.

There stupid broken charecter is no match for a bunch of rocks

The player can make the most broken class imagenable. The DM can make smart enemies. And alter their stats in anyway they want not needing predetermened rules on why there imune to any effect or damage. Dont try it

How, btw? I'm not acquainted with his work.

yeah, you better tell us, or I will reveal where you LIVE to the entire Yakuza fandom (we are like 5 dudes AND we're completely deranged)

@@donatodiniccolodibettobardi842 look for "Matt Mercer is not a fan of keen mind" on youtube

@@gamingmaster6377 hello fellow deranged Yakuza fan, which number are you? I think I'm 4

@@steve7745 number 2 here, im looking for number 5, he said he saw "yakuza enemies (california policemen)" and how "he was going to totally wallbound combo them". Which means that he is going to jail for life, a Yakuza 3 fan is completely insane (and probably morbidly a beast), so after assaulting the cop he will probably bite him or something

Why would it make you nervous? It's a YT skit...

@@somni2246 We all have arguments with our friends. For some people, re-enactments of similar arguments, even ones that are intended to be comedic, can get a bit too real.

@@bouncycomix arguments are important to being a well adjusted human, our needs and desires often create conflict and that conflict must be negotiated my friend

@@cheetman1 Sure, but that doesn't mean we have to like them.

Same.

Yeah. Me too.

Weird it's like scribe scroll is a 1st level ability in everything EXCEPT 5e

@@shadowbandit147 a wizard can always transcribe any spell scroll that's a level they can cast normally into their spellbook, if they have the resources. However, they need the actual scroll to do it. Is this different in other editions?

@@shadowbandit147 Well you can actually just do this without any ability/feats. All you need is the ability to cast spells, time, and money.

​@@user-ft7fq4ou4vThe transcribing is actually you testing the magic and the resources are non-descript costs to represent the learning of how to mark it down in your book. If you want a flavor reason to deny keen mind from allowing the to copy without a scroll, simply say, while you can recall the contents of the scroll, your never discerned what they meant well enough for you to cast the spell in your own way, making the markings, when separated from the magic of the scroll, pretty gibberish to your understanding. If they push the subject, you can decide if you want to homebrew the rules, and what the final verdict is.

@@patriciodaniels7168 There are actually divinely enforced magical rules regarding Wizards. This is like ancient DnD history. It's from the same reason that spells stop at 9th level. There used to be 10 and 11th level spells, and the first guy who created a 12th level spell accidentally killed the Goddess of Magic with it, which just turned magic off for the whole world, until after an hour a new goddess of magic was chosen and fixed the Weave (that's what makes magic possible). After this shit happened, she said "That's it, go to your room!" and banned spells higher than 9th level outright, she limited how much magic people could do each day, so spell slots and spell levels are CANON they're not just game mechanics. She also limits how many spells wizards can learn. So it doesn't matter how perfect your memory is, you literally cannot remember more spells than you have prepared. If you can remember 10 spells, if you try to remember an 11th you'll forget one of the other ones. That's why spellbooks are so important for Wizards. In addition each Wizard has their own special notations and things for spells, so a scroll you find needs to be deciphered and studied for HOURS to figure out all the details you need. I would NOT allow a Wizard to decipher a spell scroll they do not have, I don't care what level they are or what feats they have.

Bodytaker plants and their podlings don't qualify for being unaligned because they're sentient life which means they have an alignment by default and it's most certainly not neutral or good given they're explicitly called malicious. They were just made after WotC stopped posting set alignements in monster statblocks.

Liam is gonna kill the series before season 3 I say this as someone who never watched any CR beside the cartoon lol

​@@senritsujumpsuit6021 they are at s3 already

@@barbagianniv0lante107 Yes, nearly at ep 40 too

@@barbagianniv0lante107 S4 then am not putting it past that person an their spooky name

Ah yes, a fellow cultured person

Ah yes, my fellow cultured folk

Which is why you say your character writes down everything you want to remember longer, and reads that every month. Now it's permanent.