No. Here is my take: Women don’t love the way men want to be loved. That doesn’t mean they can’t love men that’s just silly. In essence is our on derpyness that makes us put too many expectations and hopes on Wahmen. ._.
Frame.Frame.Frame. That's what they love in a man. Look what's happening to multi-millionaire Steve Harvey who's capable of traveling the world 10x over.
shocking how many guys can't see just because a priest says "forever" DOESN'T FUCKING MEAN IT WILL LAST FOREVER. They just don't get it. "But she said forever!" yea at that place and time.
Feelings are temporary states and always change.. but that’s literally how they operate and navigate through life…insane when you think about it … just go with your feelings to live “your truth” … pure chaos
A better question is : does she respect you ? … much better gauge of a persons care toward another. The word “love” has been so perverted (primarily by trifling women and effeminate males) that it is a useless term . IDGAF if she loves me or not . She WILL respect me though . Else , she can keep her eyes on the curb and keep walking down the street . No exceptions ever .
No point getting mad about it. Dogs act like dogs. Cats act like cats. Women act like women. They are not inherently good or bad, just a fact of nature.
Women definitely believe in unconditional love. They believe they should be the RECIPIENT of unconditional love. They just don't believe in (and are incapable of) OFFERING unconditional love. It's the asymmetry that makes the bargain such a disadvantageous one.
Exactly they feel they deserve the world they feel entitled to it. What’s funny is that the men that have them in a pedestal are willing to give them the world, but they aren’t attracted to that. In the other hand the men that don’t have them on a pedestal know they don’t deserve it. This unrealistic expectations are their downfall they can’t have it all.
I think most of history this was held in check by the brutality and difficulty of life. You lived in your village with a horse and she was naturally limited on what she could do anyways.
Women do love unconditionally. They will love their children and pets unconditionally. For everyone else in their life the love is conditional based on utility or flippant feelings
Maybe we would like a better shelf to showcase the trophy “us”. If your a hawt lady with an ogre - id have a lot of questions, if the ugly ogre has a lambo id “😲 oh ok 👌🏽”. What im saying is a prize is gifted to a winner, sorta like earned …no?🤔
A man's understanding of love is loyality, honesty, respect. A woman's understanding of love is a nice lifestyle, continous income, nice house and cars, vacations. Her love ends when the neighbor is a step up on all of those.
For a while, I worked in an industry with guys who went from broke to upper-middle class. All of them agreed that the sex with their wives got way way better after they started making more money.
That's why women almost never play videogames or board games. Since their early teens they use the world as their own strategy game. And they even play co-op or PvP.
@@darkprince56 Your argument os similar to a woman stating : "I'm a lesbian, so most women are lesbian". Of the course of women play board games. There are also women welders and carpenters. Exceptions to the rule.
@@karnak327 i wouldn't call my comment an argument lol...I'm just offering my unsolicited 2 cents as a woman who enjoys those things. & sure, there are exceptions to the rule. Also, speaking about your lesbian comment...you're also generalizing w/a rather odd declaration that we use the world as a strategy game. Uuuhhhh...what?
Rollo, you're often criticized for over explaining. I think you're thorough, and explain perfectly. Everything you say has a point and a purpose toward understanding the subject in question, and the problem is some people want a quick fix solution. Too lazy to take the time to take it all in. Please don't change your delivery to placate the lazy.
Because sudo smarty pants people (misspelled to upset them more) are so shallow, they can’t take professional advice, logic, and deep care which Rollo is a stand for.
We are living with a tldr generation.....who have absolutely low attention span. I wonder if many are even capable to reading a 200/300 page book without giving up around page 20. Rollo is imo wasting his time trying to reach the new generation with his short videos. Most of the negative comments come from these too cool for school smart asses who want the quick fixes, short answers without understanding the basics behind the concepts.
The more I look at my own experience, the more MGTOW I become. I know that Rollo says, "Men and women are better together than they are apart". I'm not buying that anymore. Being unattached is always easier for me. "If you want companionship, get a dog". -Aaron Clarey (and others)
The Black pill truth is that in a modern world with access to modern technology that relation of the two sexes will forever be strained. No matter how self aware of this we become we are still animals we have instincts even though we think or will is free. (It isn't) Tradcons think we choose how to act because God gave us free will, but the truth is we only ever acted the way we did because of consequences. Consequences were always more real than morals, hopes and ideals, more real than God himself. Remove consequences for behaviors and the animal will act in accordance with highest self centered behaviors in accordance with it's instincts. Even if those behaviors cause them to suffer in albeit unique novel ways. Men and women were never suppose to have a choice. Nature was always suppose to subject us to our faith. Women were never suppose to have control over their reproduction, we were made to have sex and deal with the aftermath because there is nothing we could do. (Does that involve a lot of women dying in childbirth and historical rape? Yes) In a world where we do have these choices of course more women don't want to get with most men and risk their lives to give birth to kids they don't want. Why wouldn't they? Imagine we give this technology to any other sexually dimorphic mammal, what do we think would happen? They would rationally work it out and override their animal selves? An animal given the choice with the restraints of nature buffered or removed will always choose the other options SSRIs, tubal ligations and hysterectomies and all. At a certain point we have to accept this is the world we live in. We can discuss this topic until we are black and blue. It is what it is, adapt and press on. Or despair and die.
It's quite disturbing & disheartening to see so many men act like radfems. Two sides of the same coin. Ok, so you've had bad experiences with some women. It's unfair for you to paint the rest of us w/the same brush. I've been abused by men in more than one way: neighbor, family friend, grandfather & father. Should I only hate the specific men who hurt me or generalize & extrapolate, "well, f em all, I might as well hate the entire gender." Of course not. That is irrational.
@@darkprince56Whether you do or don't, it is inconsequential to us, due to a majority of women judging the rest of us based on their experience of the men they've been with. I don't see why I have to work so hard to attain what women provide to other men free of charge. It's implicitly insulting. You chicks made your choice, now deal with it.
@@feltedsnake I haven’t made any choice, I’m just one woman. Red pillers are just like radfems. Also, don’t you also give sex freely to women? What a strange statement. Selling it would make you a whore. Giving it away for free is bad but so is selling it. There is no winning lol.
Female companionship can have its place. It’s up to you as the man to decide where it is. Woman should not ever be the focus of a man’s life. Man has more important things to get up in the morning and worry about.
Women generally only care about the end result, so no they can't genuinely love men, they will never love what makes you, you... they'll only love 1. how you make them feel (which isn't exclusive to you) and 2. What you do for them
55 yrs old I never met even one woman that knew anything about love How many times have I said "I'm going to show you what love is" and by the time I got done the relationship simply wasn't worth it and I decided I deserve better
Thank you for raising this question! We men assume that women love us in the same way as we love them. Big mistake, which women use to their advantage.
men can't stop projecting their own thoughts and logic onto women. They can't see just because you see it that way, doesn't mean she sees it that way. It's always "I can't believe" she did this or that because they can't see womens' minds don't work the way theirs do.
Great point. All the loyal women have died over millennia fighting against an enemy tribe or committed suicide when their family was slaughtered. Now men have fight or flight and women have tend or befriend. The ability to suck enemy dick, be gender fluid, etc. encouraged their survival. Evolution is a bitch lol.
@@metallboy25 yes, it isn’t love which is why I put quotations around “genuine”. Lust + anxiety is a recipe for drama…which, ironically is what women crave after a certain point.
no they don't, never did, never will. they like what you do for them, for the moment, then your turn will be over and they'll move on and forget you like you never existed. they like their car, shoes, and purses more than us. gentlemen, make sure to return them the favor.
Facts. But it's not just a concept, it's beyond cognition. Men and women love differently but it's at a subconscious level. At the conscious level men just think women feel love the same way they do, but they don't. It's a profound irony that men love romantically and women love unsentimentally because the opposite is assumed. To put it simply, men go gaga when they fall in love and don't think straight. Men fall head over heels, women don't. Women not only think more clearly, but they are calculating and opportunistic. Blinded by love is much more a male phenomenon.
In my experience, women don't slowly fall in love like we guys do. They get infatuated, quickly, and it can go just as fast if you slip slightly. If you leave or ghost a chick during the infatuation, that's when she gets obsessed with you.
Figured this out for myself after constant disappointment. Rollo is spot on. When you no longer expect a woman to love like a man, relationships get much better.
Yea the 5-hour diatribes are too load bearing. Less is more. The super long form content only sprouts a longing for shortcuts which is apathy to commitment.
@@Dios_nysos Especially when the title is one topic, but by the end of 5 hours it's gone to the polar opposite. I'd like to know a time when... ok, this subject is over.
Women just don't love most men. Doesn't it raise suspicions that straight men from individualistic countries are the primary demographics of the incel community? Gays, lesbians, and straight/bisexual women don’t struggle as much as straight men when it comes to modern dating, especially women. This begets the question, why are incels tend to be straight men, while women are less likely to be incels? It's because most women view men as unattractive. According to a well-known OKCupid study, women rate a whopping 80% of men on the dating site as ‘below average’. This harsh rating of men makes sense if you consider that in human history, the only thing that mattered to women’s mating selection was men’s behavior. Men never evolved to look attractive, but evolution did make women more attractive because looks mattered to our male ancestors. Our male ancestors have often taken the lead in selecting partners, often emphasizing attractiveness in their choices, hence why the average woman looks attractive or has the potential to look attractive. Historically, women's selection criteria were influenced by men's behavior rather than physical appearance. Attractive men were rarely monogamous, so women gravitated towards men who were going to be a good provider and partner. However, modern dating dynamics have changed due to various factors like contraception, feminism, media influence (advertments/Hollywood), and the internet (social media and dating apps). Women in individualistic countries are no longer constrained to accept any man as a partner and can engage intimately with attractive men without facing repercussions. To a modern woman, LOVE = hot sex with an attractive man. Given that only a tiny fraction of men are considered attractive, most men are brushed aside. The internet only made dating harder for men because average-looking men compete with other, more attractive men. This is why modern men must rely on status (social proof and wealth) because most men cannot rely on their average looks to attract women. The sad truth is there are enough women available to date, yet they are no longer pursuing relationships with average men. Modern women have a male mating mindset. The rise of incels is due to women transitioning from valuing men for their personality to focusing on their sexual appearance.
@@adogg-2006 Thanks! If you want to learn more about attraction from an evolutionary perspective, Google “Evolution makes women more attractive” it should take you to a study by Dr. Jack da Silva
Rollo, all I can say is you've been really helpful in my learning & development on these topics. I'm a better person for it. Your book series are phenomenal. Thank you
The issue I'm having with this is the fact of were trying to hold both men and women for these current issues in dating when in fact it was women that "broke the contract" first when they wanted to eliminate gender roles and viewed as "equals". There is no shared blame for this situation, I don't blame men for their current orientation because we never had a problem playing our position, women did and wish more dudes in this space had the guts to say that freely and feel afraid to "eliminate half their audience".
There was no violent revolution. Women never TOOK power. They just complained. Somebody let their pimp-hand get weak. And strengthening that hand is the only way out of this. Blame can be equally shared.
Reminds me of a girl I dated when we were both in our early '20s. She was clingy and acted like I was the center of her universe and always talked about marriage. One night she let it slip that she would be with me until something better came along. I dumped her on the spot. She backtracked saying she would warn me first like that would have addressed what she just said...lol. Of course that was far too young of age to get married and I am glad I didn't.
I also think that this concept of love that men have leads to the idea of his "quality women" that is attached to the idealized concept of love. This is why there is no such thing as a "quality women" since in order for that type of woman to exist, she has to match his idealistic concept of love which she is incapable of meeting. He doesn't see her in reality, but in a preconceived idea what she should be.
@@BrandonLeechcuck, men love even when theyre not loved in return, I see it all the time. Women only love men for what they can provide and as soon as they had children the man becomes 3rd or 4th place in their life.
@@BrandonLeechnah bruh. Men typically love the individual woman and what she can do for us. But we don't make it a necessity for any women to take a majority of the responsibility.
Cant relate, both my parents are virgins before meeting and married 40 years. They both had same salaries and always shared tasks differently (house work for my mom, gardening for dad, cooking for mom, working on the cars and finances for my dad, etc). She never even thought of cheating or leaving. Its just hard to find a woman that isnt brainwashed, its more culture based imo.
What floors me is just to the extent that we're so different. There are times i genuinely can't understand how men and women are even the same species with the way that women behave. I understand most of their negative behavior is a result of psychologically damaging environments or situations, but it seems like in every situation where you try to make more of your relationship beyond just treating her like an inconvenient piece of meat, the woman is almost genetically hardwired to ruin everything. You have to be completely disconnected and uninvested or it all falls apart, but at that point, why even bother?
If you're having so many negative encounters with women, consider that a possibility is that you're the common denominator. Or not. It's easier to externalize blame & deflect self-reflection. Easier to believe that half of the population might as well be an alien species. It's quite disturbing & disheartening to see so many men act like radfems. Two sides of the same coin. Ok, so you've had bad experiences with some women. It's unfair for you to paint the rest of us w/the same brush. I've been abused by men in more than one way: neighbor, family friend, grandfather & father. Should I only hate the specific men who hurt me or generalize & extrapolate, "well, f em all, I might as well hate the entire gender." Of course not. That is irrational.
Now, you're starting to understand and accept it. But yes a lot of women nowadays are totally damaged goods who are incapable of having healthy relationships with anybody. They are more fragile minded than men and are permanently damaged more easily in childhood than men. But even well-adjusted women have a nature about them that is fundamentally at odds with yours at times.
It's sobering to realise that men aren't exactly wired to figure this out either, and never have been. That's why it's (arguably) 'worked' between women and men for so long. Men are wired to be disillusioned by a woman's beauty and need for sex. If we weren't, men wouldn't be ignorant enough to maintain long term bonds with women.
@@TJ-ml8tt You think it’s ignorant to maintain long-term bonds with women? If men and women didn’t form the basic units of society (the nuclear family) then civilizations wouldn’t have flourished as they did.
@@darkprince56 Men are ignorant of the ways in which they are constantly manipulated by their partner. Women are wired this way. I don't say this with bitterness. Men are hardwired to say yes to more things to their partner whereas if a man who they're not having sex with asked them in a round about/manipulative way he'd tell them to f*ck off.
Dear men, protect and provide only for what's yours and what follows your lead and instructions. Avoid extending that care to those outside that circle. To be able to do that, you need to understand that your attention and commitment are a currency that holds value #ResistTaming
Depending on the country you can still try to have a lifelong relationship without marriage. I know in my country it is feasible as there isn't any "you live together for X amount of time you're married" and even baby trapping is worthless because there is an extreme enforcement of equal custody of kids barring literal attempted murder of said family (and even then supervised visitations are often possible). So just move to the right country.
@@mr.franco4972 I didn't know reading up on the laws in your country is coping nowadays. I used to think coping was meant to be an insult. Jeez things change fast.
Thank you Rollo. This particular topic throws me into rage stage again and again. In a blue pill times I was working so f&$#ing hard having "happy wife happy life" mindset for years. And guess what - I never got the love I imagined. Never f&$#ing ever. Hardest part now is accepting it.
I think a womans love comes more from a womans *need* for a particular man. That need can come in different forms. It's not all about financial support. But no, women most certainly do not love men in the way that men love women. A good man would be willing to die for the woman he loves, the same way that a good mother would be willing to die for her child. But no woman loves a man that way. It's not their fault, that's just how women are made.
Honestly I’m glad women are like that thinking about it that would be disgusting if women just loved every man freaking wh*re she should only be able to look at one man that’s it
@@kingclampz6081with social media that's nearly impossible now, let yall have an argument, she can go right to IG get a bunch of validation or potentially future suitors.
@@prashanthb6521 Accepting them as they are is a bit of a feminist tactic. Feminism has taught girls that men need to accept them as they are, attitude and all. They think they want a man who can “handle” them.
This is crazy talk. Women do love, but you have to earn it. Your problem is that you're not worth loving, because you're going after a certain dogma of "I'm the alpha male, I won't move in with you bla bla bla". You can't maintain a relationship, therefore you don't deserve love. To have a woman's love, yes, you have to meet certain criteria, but the most important ones are time and commitment. If you're a divorced guy with a kid, who doesn't want to move in with her etc. you're worthless for a woman.
@@metallboy25They do, the sexes define lots of abstract concepts and emotions differently. You saying "women don't love" is your male mammal brain saying they dont love because they don't do it like me.
39 year old man here ive learned you can give them the world and they will wake up one day and be like what has he ever done for me... I quit years ago love myself > any woman.
My wife said this! From broke to a 1.2 million dollar home, 2 kids, me being bob the builder, awesome date nights, trips abroad. Expects me to make her constantly feel and gives nothing back I said: don't you see all I do for you Her answer: what do you actually do for me😅😢😮.😂 Beyond tired
Women do love some men, which they created in their heads listening to the propaganda in entertainment and media. What women do is taking a style from Pete, money from Rob, six pack from John, etc. Then she puts it all together and measures any next man by this standard now that she hit the wall and doesn't just ride the carousel for fun, like she used to in her 304 phase having the only standard - he has to be hawt. That's why when women verbalize their standard he looks like a caricature, where next bullet point is contradicting the previous one. Then she screams on TikTok where all the men are ? Men you created in your head never existed to begin with.
Not a redpill dude. But having known many elderly widow(er)s. I have noticed most men widowers will talk about their beloved wives while most of the women generally say nothing about their deceased husband's if anything. You notice this after awhile. So I would tend to say no.
My life experiences with women has lead me to view them as “investments” and whether it’s a good one or a risky one. I’ve have become very observant of what they say about their past relationships and why they failed. You have to read between the lines to get the entire story. Conclusion: they are very risky investments and should be avoided to a certain extent. They can be enjoyable the same way a boat can be enjoyable but makes little sense from an investment standpoint. As far as marriage goes, every man should ask himself before marrying a woman “How many people do I know (friends, family, coworkers, etc. ) who have been divorced?” Chances are you know way more divorced people than you do happily married people. You must include people that are married presently but have been divorced at some point (second or third) marriage. What makes you think your marriage will be any different? Stay away from it. If a woman walks away because you will not marry her, that shows you how much she really cares about “YOU” and “what she can get from you” legally.” For those of you still pursuing marriage…I’ll be the one saying “I told you so” when she empty’s your pockets during divorce.
May Jesus reward you for your lies and disgusting words! How terrible of you to speak of the opposite sex as if a tool or toy. You speak as if this is 100% truth and 100% women. This video is evil! You are evil! Your lies are evil! Your idea is evil! If this is the case with you, do not touch a women, do not converse with a woman, do not approach or speak with women at all! Divorce - have you seen the men's version ?! It takes two! Both women and men are responsible for this evil and lies because God's love is perfect and you and the woman are wrong on what Woman / Man relationship love is! This video is wrong, your words are wrong, your heart is wrong. Do you know the history of the woman's role? Do you know the history of man's role?
I think women in general do not love men. They love what he has (money, status, security, strength, etc) whereas men love women holistically for who and what they are. A woman could lose a lot of her looks, etc and he would still love her whereas if a man loses even a little bit of what he has (strength, money, etc) the relationship is close to the end.
This was honestly such a gem of a video. One of those eye openers, really making things click in my head. Thank you Rollo for your work. It does make a difference.
Back to your roots! Good to hear this stuff explained without all the youtube drama and bitchin'. Keep these quick hit 101 vids coming! Respect would definitely be a good topic.
You need to call them different names. Give opportunistic love a new word. Give idealistic love a new word. Two sub categories of love. Love defined as - caring about what happens to the object/target/thing/person/investment etc.
Rollo, you have it WRONG. All love is idelastic and unconditonal. But now women give that love to things, their girlfriends and dramatic experiences. They cut men out of the picture b/c they don't provide enough drama. Even if a woman love a man, she'll move on b/c the high wears off. Women only love whatever/whoever gives her a constant drama high. Then she'll cease loving a man, and move on to the next high.
I agree, once the new car smell and constant drama is gone she’s ready for the next big thing. Unrealistic to think her love for you will last forever because of her constant need for something exciting. It’s hard to compete your smelly ass old car compared to the new muscle car in town lol😂
Women require unconditional respect, while men expect people (both men and women) to earn respect. The opposite applies to what men and women expect with love.
The only woman who will ever love a man for who he is would be his mother. The love of a woman is utilitarian and temporary. Sorry, guys, it's the truth.
This was so hard for me to get. When I loved a girl, and I've loved a few; I literally loved them for life (years after it ended). I promised in that to never leave them, but women aren't like this (at least to anybody but their children). It blew me away that they could change/ leave after they said they loved me. Now I understand; their love for a man is qualitatively different from a man's love for a woman.
If a man has to keep qualifying and meriting a woman's love then what is the point of marriage besides having children? Personally, I have no desire or energy to try and keep another human being happy. It's not my damn job.
I took ssris for anxiety, and totally lost all interest in women and sex. Being free from this shakle of nature is the best thing thats ever happened to me . Its so freeing to able to not play the game and not give a sh1t about how women see me.
The "Pretty Woman" example was very telling. I watched the video, but essentially the bottom line is that women are incapable of loving men. I fully understand the point about how the terms "conditional vs. unconditional" is the wrong way to frame the question. However, regardless of how you frame the question... the outcome remains that... men love women, and women can love the things men do for them/ provide them with. This is precisely why Rollo himself describes women's love as opportunistic.... because that's exactly what it is. The definition of "opportunistic" is... "exploiting chances offered by immediate circumstances without reference to a general plan or moral principle." Meaning... they don't love men. They only want to exploit opportunities provided to them by men. Women can NEVER... will NEVER love the men, only what men can do or provide them with. Men offer women real love. Women offer men a certain level of fondness based on pragmatism.
Best way I've seen it. A guys wife became paralyzed, and all she can do now is move her eyes to answer. He put her in a special care facility that can take care of her round the clock AND that would let him live there with her. So now this is his life, a man in his 30's who is standing by his wife and not abandoning her in her time of need. And all I can think when I hear that story is "I'll bet you anything in the world that if the roles were reversed she'd convince herself that he'd want her to be happy, so she has to move on. But that she does love him." Women don't give a crap about men.
you are so wrong, there has been studies on this and they show its the men that bail out when women get terminal diagnosis, while the women stay and care for the men. Actually remember my mothers boyfriend bailing when she got cancer. But these are both anecdotal, go read the studies and see what the big picture is.
I told this to my now separated wife. She left claiming I didn't love her, when infact it's categorically untrue. I told her: before you left, had you been severely injured in a car accident or something to that affect I under no certain terms would leave your side. I cant stay the same for her 😅 I look forward to the divorce if it moves in that direction
That is not true. I know of a women - it's documented; where a man from infection; lost all his limbs and wife takes care of him. You are not speaking truth 100% the women this video is speaking about is only 10% of women who are in this world. What about ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-LBKeYSXu9-o.html or ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-PMx254jUJds.html or many more c'mon you guys are choosing the wrong kind of LOVE and person who is not educated or aware of a real solid love.
Girls can genuinely love a man for about a year after puberty, hence the posters of boy bands. A few years later that circuit is burnt out. That's kinda like why we have an age of consent. Hey! A billion Muslims can't be wrong!
I do think girls are more infatuated with boys when they're 15-18. Once they hit 20+ they're just sharks fully reading the value and leverage a man has or doesn't have. I do think that innocent teenage love is real, but temporary obviously.
No....that is not genuine love. They are attracted to genetics and provision for them. Men want genetics from women too but are capable of loving and taking care of faithful women in their decline.
Schopenhauer & Nietzsche discussed these very subjects pertaining to women. I can’t even imagine what our male ancestors must’ve experienced because they gave us more than enough warning that this very thing would happen. I guess we spent so much time being the metaphorical winners that we thought it wasn’t going to happen to us. I disagree with the manosphere and agree with them at the same time. When it comes to things going back to the way they were; I don’t think it’s going back to some sort of ideal position but I believe it will regress. And when say regressive, I mean feminism will invite a puritanical way of life back. It’s happened before and we have the perfect setting for it to happen here. The dominos are dropping everywhere and men listening to Rollo is one of those very dominos.
God bless you. I’m reading the Will to Power now by Nietzsche. They very much talk about this and overall decline of morality and embrace of radical individualism and nihilism at the expense of everything else including themselves.
@@michaelmcclurkin9690Read End Times by Peter Turchin next. I always tell my son that God is an economist but he expects us to keep track of his resources. We are one of his resources. What he discusses in that book has a very strong connection to what is happening in this arena. If you study a broad range of subjects you begin to find these insane connections that I don’t think the individual authors or scientists are making. They simply stay within their respective field and don’t know that they’re making connections to other aspects of society. For instance, I don’t think Peter Turchin even knows who Rollo is but I think the main crust of the argument in his book is a big part of what is shaping feminism. Maybe I’m wrong and the connection I made is totally off; I’d love for someone else’s opinion.
I think this is explored in many texts in different ways from the past. I haven't read the ones you mentioned... I will put them on my list. The simplest way I have heard it explained is human animal and human spirit. Morality in general is manufactured in lots of ways, but without it we go completely to animal biology which is inherently about survival and not about anything higher of the spirit... like love, selflessness, compassion, gratitude... etc.
I've been released and relieved after realizing a relationship isn't in the cards for me. I don't want a marriage and family as much as I used to, and every day I try to condition myself to eshew that more and more.
Thanks for making this Rollo I just heard Orion talk about this concept of love and I was genuinely sad to hear it bc I know RP right about a lot thanks Rollo, this is something I am okay with. Not being able to love at all I was like holy smokes, man!
Dear @Rollo The knowledge that you have been sharing since 2005(If I am not wrong about the year I first came across your theories), is extraordinary and creates a wealth and asset for our children. Alongside Iron Rule and Rational Male, all your podcasts are something from which anyone(male, female, teenagers) can always derive some or the other values. This is my first comment to you, and so thank you for your two decades of work. It meant a lot when I was starting to understand the world, and it means a lot today also when I have gone on to understand the world a lot more than I had thought I would. In this, I would like to present some theories around love, so that your audience understands the notion of love, as I rarely see any treaties on love that are scientific as well as Philosophical. a) Love: Love is a feeling of "Fear of Death, " followed by relief of being alive. This is one of the primary emotions that develops in the child right after birth. When the child tries to come out of the tunnel, its adrenaline rises to its peak. The entire birth process is driven by the hormone Adrenaline, secreted from a small triangle-shaped adrenal gland on the top of the kidneys. Labor pain increases the adrenaline, which due to the endocrinological coupling of mother and baby rises in the baby and the baby starts its journey. b) Threat vs Fear: A threat is a real object that presents a risk to life(like a snake) as fear is an imaginary emotional brain's predictive visuals, both of which transfer's brain's control to the Amygdala of the limbic brain, and make the physiology to fight and flight mode where hormone norepinephrine, and adrenaline increases. c) Why Fear is important? Because a child in the womb doesn't have any primary sensory data besides some sounds it picks up. So, without the brain creating visuals of fear, adrenaline will never increase and the child will never try to come out of the womb. So, once the labor pain starts, the child starts seeing fearful dreams and pushes hard to come out. When the child finally comes out, it cries, because the visual dreams and attached scream are both genetically wired. The crying of the child opens up the lungs, which stayed shrunk during pregnancy as the child got Oxygen from the placenta and needed no lungs in the water. d) Satisfaction: When the mother finally holds the child, the child becomes happy. Note that up to 21 days, the child can not distinguish between dream and reality. During pregnancy, the way the mother sees a dream of a child is the same way the child sees the dream of a mother. Because of the physiological coupling and mirror neurons, the mother's emotions of satisfaction(which is the hormone serotonin) are translated into the child. So the child feels happy and satisfied. This satisfaction, transfers the body's autonomic nervous system, from flight and fight mode to rest-and-recovery mode, releasing a lot of GABA(Gamma Beuteric Acid Hormone), which shuts down the brain, activating Melatonin secretion from pineal glands, and the child falls asleep. Melatonin is also our anti-oxidant network, which removes oxidative stress. e) Love's Encoding in the Brain: dreams and imagination of death, followed by an increase of adrenaline(aggression), followed by satisfaction(serotonin) of seeing mother, followed by happiness(dopamine), followed by closing down of the brain(GABA), followed by sleep(Melatonin), followed by healing(ROS removal by antioxidants), is the first event that is stored as the first memory of the brain. It is noteworthy that a child learns to differentiate reality much later, and so even though the hormonal changes are in the memory, the event is not stored in the brain. f) Why we crave for love: The brain stores daily sensory data in our cortex section. During deep sleep, it pulls out memories from the cerebellum and contextualizes the day's events, cleans the cortex, and puts back the relevant events after classification and clustering. It is this reason that when the brain sees a memory unit of early memory, with intense feelings, but no data, it puts a priority on the hormonal changes that we call love, and look for real-life event that will have a similar hormonal footprint as love. g) Why the child fails to experience love: Remember, the mother's Estrogen in pregnancy is about 3000 ng/dl, which falls to 300 ng/dl with the placenta coming out. So the number of feelings(ocean of it), that the mother experiences when she holds the child for the first time, can not be experienced thereafter. So hormone change footprint the child experienced during birth can not ever be experienced. The child experiences love whenever it is hungry and the mother breast-feeds it, but that feeling is not what was like at birth. So, because of an intense hormonal footprint missing sensory data, the brain keeps looking for love. h) Why men can love far more than women? Evolutionarily men have gone out to hunt every day, and hunting caused them to encounter death on a daily basis. Then there were wars and natural calamities like the ice age. So, when men came back to the cave in the evening, seeing the tribe and the family, they would get a sense of life. The reason humans outcompeted all other highly conscious species, including Neanderthals who had larger brains as well as mass, is one simple difference. Human males protected the females and went hunting themselves. So no homosepien female fossils showed any injuries, whereas Neanderthal females had significant injuries in their body like males. Even in other conscious species like Lions, lionesses do the majority of the hunting in the pride. So, humanity survived because men protected women from danger, but as a downside love reduced in females, and increased in males. i) Attachment and Oxytocin: As love is in reality a hormonal reset, which is super important for the awareness of life itself, as love is reduced in the females, another hormone named Oxytocin increases. This is the attachment hormone. So the females would attach to the male psychophysiology through Oxytocin, and mirroring, and therefore whenever males went out hunting, their fear of death would be experienced by the females from miles away. When the males were late, and many times they did not return, the female fear of death would increase. Remember, Oxytocin also binds mother and child during breast-feeding. And so when the females would see their men in the evening, they would get the exact same feeling as seeing their children alive, and males would feel childish. This is the key bonding between the males and females. So: males experience love after becoming infected, and females experience love after becoming womanized. So a man and a female(girl, woman) love is that of a Mother's physiology of the woman and the child's physiology of the man. Mother has many children, but a child has only one mother. Guess who will love more? However, whenever there were natural calamities, war, and other threats(threats: real danger), female fear would super-amplify(like COVID-19 times). They would then collapse into their infantile state. Infant girls genetically have hero dreams, and when their father holds them they get their Hero's dream fulfilled. When the danger is large, the female desires her hero, and she prays for the father to rescue her. When the male partner does that, she feels loved. In this form, the high testosterone male fatherly physiology attaches to the high Estrogen daughterly physiology of the females. j) Why females don't seem to love anymore? It is untrue beyond the urban set-up. Come to India, Visit any villages, meet a farmer in the field, and his wife would bring food for him to the farm in the afternoon. Simply sit and look into the glowing eyes of those females. (Even in the Western world the divorce rate is minimal among farmers). Today males hand their females to WHO, CDC, and Faucci when the COVID opportunity comes. The US has not fought any wars in its homeland for a long long time. If you closely study US divorce statistics, the divorce rate was at an all-time low in 2008, and in the aftermath of 9/11. Srilanka, a country that suffered civil war for over 50 years has one of the lowest divorce rates. India has had historically the lowest divorce rates, because life was hard, and it also suffered militancy. Now that threats are minimal, divorce rates are skyrocketing. When the brain gets easy food, it seeks easy sex, when the brain gets easy sex, it f**ks itself. This should help males in particular to know that to experience love, one has to experience death. And without a female intimate partner, you ain't gonna feel loved, and feel alive. That's just the science, the rest all are opinions. Regards, Rupam Das, Neurophysiologist, Inventor, Lyfas Author, Intimacy Laws for Men
Around 12:50 I think women do understand man's ideal of love. In their opportunism they pretend that this ideal is universal, as it's a great carrot to make the friendzone mule pull the cart.
I think men are also incapable of loving women the way they expect. To a woman, love is working your ass off all day, coming home and doing the dishes and laundry for her, and then meeting all of her emotional needs on top of it.
Originally, women absolutely need a man in their lives in order to survive. As it is a need, they don't have to love. It's just a luxury. In contrary, men who absolutely don't need women to survive, have to learn loving in order to stay with a woman.
