The Single Gay Man's Guide to Dating and Finding Your Dream Relationship | S2 E8 

I'm 39, single, happy, and have never had a relationship. I've certainly dated, but no ones excited me enough to be with. I'm very comfortable with myself and find that I'm stable, measured, and healthy as compared to my peers. I think perhaps I may find a man to spend my life with, but if I don't I think I'll be alright.

So cute that two hot guys under 40 think people will " eventually find a relationship". I have been single for 20 years. I done everything from attending parties, bars/clubs, activities, on all the apps, etc. I can't make someone date you. All you can do is put yourself out there but nothing is guaranteed.

I've been single since my husband died in 2018. Up until that point he and I were together since 2002 and finally getting married in 2017. I've been in 3 previous long term relationships since the early 80's. Living on my own for short periods of time between those relationships. I was scared finding myself alone at 61. Once on my own I threw myself into my career which I have since retired from a company I've been with since 1999. In the ensuing years I've learned to live on my own and not having to think about a partner and everything that intails. Thank goodness for a close circle of friends who support me and I them. Currently I'm in a casual relationship with a guy 20 yrs my junior. We enjoy each other's company and I appreciate it when he comes to me for professional advise. I've grown into my independence but I know there is so much more to learn to move forward. At this point in my life I don't want to get into another serious relationship. I enjoy your HHH vlogs.

For some of us ,dating or finding someone is not on the cards or possible -especially having a disability.

I genuinely don't know how anybody can be content on their own tbh. Being nearly 30 and never having been in a relationship doesn't do much for your self-esteem.

When I came out at 24, I thought certainly I would be settled with someone by 35. At least that was the aspiration. That plan never materialized, and then dating moved onto apps and I lost all interest in playing along. At 49, I'm settled and happy, and content to have left that all behind. Love the positive messages around being single. So many think there's something wrong with it.

I'm 71 and perpetually single, and loving it. I rather wish I had more friends, but when I come home and nobody's there, I breathe a sigh of relief. And, I've dated guys in the past who said that they were in love with me, but were more in love with the IDEA of being in love. (It's not flattering. )

Im happy being single. After many tries with long term relationships and failing, I’m content being single . I have wonderful friends and family and I get my affection and sex needs met from other men who like being single, FWB type situations. Plus I feel a lot of gay relationships just eventually become open. There are benefits and drawbacks to both. What matters is how you feel about it.

I'm 35 and haven't had a relationship in 10 years just people saying that don't want a relationship or others say they just want to be friends. I hope I don't grow old on my own and find a relationship soon

Great episode gentlemen. Much of the conversation is applicable to everyone; healthy attracts healthy. Making the conscious decision to focus on my mental health has quieted the outside noise and left space for positive influences. ❤

Somehow this showed up when I needed it, thanks guys!!! ✌️😄🏳️‍🌈❤️

To be honest. Its challenging dating a decent amount of people aren't mentally healthy. Aren't healed and expect all males are associated with the 2slgbtq communities. Therefore, I end up continue being single because I enjoy my discreet life (to be clear if the universe aligns me with a mate) then I'll be more open to express to the world that this is my mate (I am mindful who knows from what not- due to my job etc) anyway thanks for sharing guys!

I appreciate you guys, but as the Perpetually single guy... Its rough. Its not as easy as "just keep trying" or "widen your net". Sometimes is me, sometimes its them. Specifically, NYC guys are the worst. If you arent a 10, you arent on the radar, and then if you do get close to someone, they are always looking for the next best thing. I literally just got a text from a guy I had been seeing and hes like I am seeing someone else for real, so we can only be friends. we had been hangin out with each other for a few months, and then i had to leave town for 2 weeks for work, and boom.. here we are. I am jsut used to being single at this point. Im older, and I am not the physical ideal, and im not rich, so... ill probably never find anyone.

Great episode, and I like how you guys are honest and say you’re not professionals, but often times you don’t need a professional. 🙌 My best advice for being single and deciding whether or not to stay single is something you mentioned - get your own self together before getting into a relationship. It allows you to be more focused on the other person to see if they truly are a potential match. And one other thing is not to try too hard - I believe that often when you just “go with the flow”, the best things (and relationships) happen! Great job guys! ❤

"We're exclusive now~ me and Chad we're exclusive~"

I think either way being single or in a relationship are both fantastic and positive ways to be

I love the (yt) recommadation of this podcast and especially this episode. Over the years (im 26) i slowly build up my interest to have a relationship, which is not family or friends and am currently at the start of orienting myself in this dating world. I will probably mimic the approach to dating of Joel, since I always hear on the internet about how cumbersome dating is (aswell as my handfull lackluster tries I had years ago) and I am quite content with beeing single, so treating it like a sprint might fit me quite well.

So insightful. Whether gay or straight this particular podcast still is extremely relevant to everyone. I've watched you for yrs Joel and I love that your with Keegan, sharing yor journey of life as well. I'm so glad you both are doing this for insight on the everyday Joe so to speak...your both lovely ❤ keep up the good work guys.

Can you guys make these videos a bit louder? They're a bit too quiet.

Happily single here but not opposed to letting someone in if the chemistry fits. I love the discussions and topics you guys bring to light and really appreciate the honest look you take at things like this. Love the comment about not wanting to end up the single old guy at the end of the bar. we have all seen that guy, and possibly felt like him at times.

This idea that someones finances and career and stuff all need to be in order in order to be compatible seems rather gold diggerish to me. The idea of dating is to find love not to find some sort of business partner.

I'm so glad I watched this video. I loved everything you have said. I think this has helped me tremendously. Something you said really stuck with me and made me realize something and I feel so much better after hearing you. Thank you so much!!!

I'm 41 never been in a relationship never had a date. Last time I hooked up with someone would be a least 5 years ago, which I'm not keen on one night stands. Always wanted to experience a date or relationship but feel invisible. Only just trying now to gain confidence and looking at getting involved in community events.

I've been in a relationship for 25 yrs...but this has been so much fun - giving me time to look back on my past relationships and wondering why they don't exist anymore....I have my page filled....aha! - it wasn't me! lol....

Dating as a gay man is always hard. Especially in a country like India which is going through a cultural transition where slowly queer folks are coming to terms with being gay and living ones truth. I honestly see it this way. Singlehood is more common in comparison to relationships in queer community. It's just like how herterosexuality is more common than homosexuality. So being a majority within a minority can be daunting. I think one has to realise that relationships are tricky when same genders are involved. Keep your best foot forward and always keep yourself happy, healthy & busy.

Hi guys, great episode as usual. I am single and I’ve been on a couple of dating apps for around three years. I haven’t been on any dates but chatted with a lot of men. I’m not sure where I’m going wrong but it would be great if you could Give some tips on how to create a good dating profile. What prompts and photos that someone could include. Also how to start conversations for good first impression.🌈❤️

I enjoyed this episode. I think this is the second Jane I have seen. Will go back and see if there are episodes on your back story.

.....maybe some of us are just meant to be single. I'm 39 and I've never been in a relationship with another man. I don't care anymore. All i want is to have lots of money and a successful career. I think I'm comfortable with being single.

Tha plants part made laugh 😂😂 its so cute. I have zero plants too i used to have one but i killed a cactus (long story)

I’m 19 and definitely not happy being single, but people are generally turned off because I’m a conservative and religiously Jewish. What advice is there for gay conservatives?

I love "Vigilante Therapists" - perhaps the new title for your "Helpful Homos" segments?

That point about the fear of being the old single guy at the end of the bar hit home. I'm pretty sure I only dated my ex was because I felt pressured by myself to be "settled" before turning 30. And it didn't go well.

My problem is that I am in the middle. I sometimes want a date and sometimes I don't. And that doesn't make for a good relationship. And figuring that out is tough. I work 3 jobs and I'm so friggin tired of online dating, swiping through the same types of guys. I also have another problem of not wanting someone who wants me but wanting someone who doesn't want me. Idk sounds like I'm a mess lol 😅😅😅

I'm in a period where I feel like I have to force mysel to be okay with being single. On paper, I should be fine being single since I'm so focus on my own goals, have a good friends and active sex life and find being on dating apps to be such a waste of time. I'm sure that never haven been in a relationship and most of my social circle being in one or have been in one is probably doesn't help but any people who are content with being single have been in similar situations yet are fine. I think my problem is that I despite my young age of 25, I just feel I am going to be one of those people never finds someone because I fit too many niches, for example, I'm purely monognous, a side and my hobbies are rarely shared with the kinds of guys that are my type. I'm definitely not gonna settle for less, but I just wish I had the knowledge of knowing the kind of guy I deserve does exist to make the waiting game less scary and annoying.

Great topic! I for one can relate much.. Just wanna stay single till someone comes to change that status. 👍👍👍

Dear Joel & Keegan, call me foolish or a stupid romantic but I would love to be in a loving relationship. I want a partner who gives me breath-awful kiss the moment he wakes up beside me and then goes to sing badly in the shower for 15 minutes & takes a pee in the shower even though he knows that's one of my pet *pee*ves (the toilet is right over there). I want a partner who makes me breakfast every morning and scrambles the eggs just the way I like them with bits of goat cheese mixed in even though he doesn't eat eggs at all. I want a partner who knows that I know nothing about Ameican football and don't care about it but appreciates that I will wear his favorite team's (Go New England Patriots!) jersey and sit down and "watch" the game with him and his friends without asking too many questions. I want a partner who makes sure I meet all his family, especially his 'nanna' in the nursing home that he visits every week. I want the partner who calls me from work during lunch break just to see how my day is going. I want a partner who'll watch foreign movies with subtitles on Netflix with me even though he'll fall asleep beside me about half an hour later but ask me to tell him all about the movie because he likes how well I explain the "weird" movies. I want a partner who treats me as if my love is precious, cherished and deserving to be nurtured. I can be alone. I have been alone. I can accept my current state of being alone & lonely. However, in my sacred, soulful prayer, what I really, really, really want is to be entangled, entrenched, enthralled, encouraged, embedded in a happy and fulfilling life with my special other who fervently believes I'm more exceptionally special than I perceive myself to be.

I need to see Joel’s dating code book rn!!!

Widowed 5 yrs ago after 44 years. We met in 1976. would love to be in a relationship. but i am a realist living in rural Pa USA. at 73 everyone is in a relationship.

We 𝒂𝒍𝒍 die alone‼️

I had a guy call me after one date and profess his love and I had to tell him, dude we didn’t even have an entrée, what love? He didn’t even know me, it was a set up date so I called the person who set us up and said wtaf, and he went, ‘Oh is he doing it again”, again!!!. He thought I could fix the guy because I’m stable, vocal about what I want and don’t want and maybe I could wrangle him in. I’m not looking to be a sheep herder, you have to have your own thing going and not need me to be something you think you are missing. He called the guy and talked him down off the ledge but I couldn’t go back in after that. It was the same problem I find when I date under my age, ;Ike someone in their twenties, I just don’t do it anymore. I’m not looking to adopt or foster anyone’s kids unless someone is extremely mature and at where I’m at mentally, physically, financially, I don’t want to be anyone’s daddy (cringe). Thanks for the video fellas, great topic as always.

Hi! Is it possible to have a Podcast about being afraid to date again?

BTW I forgot to mention great haircuts 👍🙏😎

I'm used to being on my own, 52 never been on a date... Would love to be in a relationship, not big into willy nilly dating....

I never had a boyfriend... 🧢🥺🧢 💔

But you look like you have a great relationship but are there any negatives in it

All the guys who are saying they are content and happy single seriously didn’t had any game to pull anyone to begin with, stop lying to yourself

I get that some people need to be part of a couple to feel like they exist, but I’ve tried it and it’s a hard pass from me. This need to emulate straight relationships baffles me. I have no interest in doing things by committee, need permission or someone being okay with my choices. If you want to be with me, and I want to be with you, we can do that, but I will never be your property, I will never be “yours”, I belong to me. A lot of people tell me all the time,oh you just haven’t met your one, honey that’s because I’m not looking for him. I lived through my mother’s four horrible marriages and I saw nothing from them that I remotely wanted. My grandparents were married over fifty years, loved each other, had twelve kids, it was a good solid marriage, but nothing about it, is remotely what I want for me. Single is not this ugly monster over in the corner, it’s just another type of existence that one can choose.

Audio issues still.

The topic is good but the accent is really strong 😅

What do you mean about Shit together because shit is a negative thing in my mind

I,m Gay And Single From Ohio

Then who is Joel and Lia where Joel say Lia is his wife or was that just a sham.

Lol i am single since 2016 becus at that year i find out i am gay now i am 22 yeras old and style single feel so alone and afraid because i live in homophobic country like Iran idk who to trust yes i have friends but they all straight qnd they know i am gay😂😂😂but style feeel so alonly 😢😢😢😢

lol - make our problems worse - funny 👍

When you live you live in Glover when your dead your dead all over.

Howdy fellas. Idea for the podcast… As I’m about to embark to Europe from the States (for a spine procedure), I’m getting accommodations set up. I’m going to be spending a few days in Berlin and a few days in Paris, post-op. And it got me thinking about using the app “misterb&b” - which leads me to a possible topic: When traveling internationally, what are some *best practices* for traveling as a HHH?” (Or word it however you’d like. 😉) Lots of us travel. I’m pretty sure most of us use the apps to connect… but maybe there are a few other ideas of how to have great HHH experiences for travel. Def would be up to dialogue about this OR share in the discussion OR just watch you do your thing about this. Keep it up!

I want to start dating , not women but guys I am gay , I am having a hard time in approaching the guy I like , how do I approach the guy I like to be with , how do I approach a guy I like

I am confuse in how to come out to someone do I tell them my gay experience are just say I am gay

Any idea where you find single monogamous men for relationship? It's not ion Grindr, not in gay clubs, not in video chat. Hard on social media. Any ideas?

Keegs, I love ya, but please… stop breathing into the microphone lol

𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒕𝒉𝒚 𝑯𝒐𝒎𝒐 𝑽𝒊𝒈𝒊𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒔

13:27 H-E-DOUBLE-HOCKEYSTICKS HUNTY I’m unbelievably happy you said this! Model X is my next and final car purchase!

I enjoy y’all’s demented 𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒖𝒏𝒊𝒕 humour❣️💯