it’s not that the child prefers the stranger. the child is expressing that a need (presence) was unmet to his mother and was calm with the stranger because he fears that if he expressed a need to a stranger he would be let down.
I think the anxious child wants to be soothed - doesn't want to be alone - so the stranger is a sub-par second. What the child is really longing for is the parent. Where as the avoidant child, in a sense, doesn't give a shit. People are ok...but the avoidant child will learn that performing and "going it alone" is how you make your way in life.
It’s interesting how the first mother seems insecure and ambivalent in the setup herself and tries to fulfill the assignment (get baby interested in toys) more than tuning into her child. It almost feels as if she is performing and I guess if you are insecure in your own attachment, situations like these can bring about a lot of stress and trigger shame.
I think she was instructed to get him to play with toys during the second reunion- if that’s what you’re referring to- I believe the point was to observe how quickly the baby would self regulate or recovery
@@Leah-to4dn my husbands ex wife is disorganized attachment. Borderline. Even though she has used her daughter to write a secret diary and try alienating her daughter away from her father. I feel awful. I wish she would want to get help and then find attachment with god. Because if you search for him and ask for forgiveness he will answer. Promise. Just be open and honest. Even if you sound like a toddler
@@Leah-to4dni guess there are Not a lot of examples of a disorganised attachment style as those parents are usually not happy with their kids being shown in videos publicly, because the parents of those are usually not mental well. At least that’s what my teacher speculated
I think most people would watch this and say baby C (insecure, avoidant) is the most well adjusted because she didn't cry and responded well to the stranger. But it's actually because she has learned to suppress her emotions and attachment needs :(
which is especially sad because this is also part of the reason why neglect and abuse of children with insecure attachments (usually fearful-avoidant) is often swept under the rug or persistently unnoticed by teachers/doctors/other adults. children who grow up learning adults are dangerous will do everything in their power to not serve an ounce of vulnerability because they don't want to risk feeling even more hurt. along with that they'll probably be enabled with praise because they're so passive and "easy to handle" (esp by the wrong kinds of people)
@@SaystheTruth3 you're right that they don't make much of a fuss being alone, although that's because they believe making a fuss will make their situation even worse as nobody will help them, not because they're happy or soothed by themselves. this means that they're more likely to avoid any kind of productive social engagement in the future even if it pertains to work or school because they're expecting a poor response from other people, which is usually seen as a bad tradeoff.
@@VendettahHelsing how is avoidant attachment good?? Secure is good. If your child is avoidant, when they grow up they'll be the 1st one to leave any kind of relationship/friendship when anything gets a little rough emotionally
I found this video very interesting as I work in a child care setting. I did feel though that there might be other variants that could have an effect on how the child behaves. i.e. how well socialised they are around other adults/children generally and whether they are used to being at nursery or day care having regular time away from their primary caregiver.
Im baby number….1! Anxious ambivalent. 👎🏻Not a fun life guys. I don’t know what caused my mother to be inconsistent. Im still dependent to some extent still. She seem preoccupied with friends sisters books. My mom is very independent so I’m not sure what happened. I guess she used me to comfort her…? Yet also comforted me when she felt like it. I know she complains why i do t like looking like her. She calls herself a pollyanna. I dont know
They say being avoidant is actually better for the child’s outcome than being ambivalent. That’s so crazy to think about. I bet a mom would feel somewhat reassured to know that at least she attended to her baby half the time, but as it turns out it would have been better for the baby’s life outcome had she never attended to them!
For the child to build a secure attachment, the mother needs to provide security and reliability, for exemple "son, you can stay there and play, and the mother will leave, but she'll be right back"
There was way too much going and coming without ever telling the baby bye or ill see you later. The baby was clearly upset by never knowing when someone is leaving or who is going to come in next. Always try and prepare a baby at least 2-5 minutes before going somewhere to help transition.
What this is actually demonstrating is the pre-existing "quality" of relationship between the parent and child. To what extent can the child "rely" on the "availability" of the parent for comfort AND support for their exploration and curiosity. It shows how we are all born fundamentally oriented towards relationship. The anxious child is "used" to the parent coming and going or not being fully present. The avoidant child is "used" to the parent being unavailable. It argues that these kids will have profoundly different lives and orientations to their emotions.
This is not an example on how parents should behave. This was a study with clear instructions to show, study and learn about the different attachment styles.
It's a thing for daycare centers to have a pet rabbit although I do not agree It's actually cruel to keep a animal in a small cage. Not natural habitat, just wrong and wtf is that teaching children 😐
Keep strong. Dont forget that despite the struggles and madness in this world today, God is full of justice, mercy and love. Justice said we broke His perfect law - causing the world's previous perfection to be destroyed - and therefore we deserve Hell (like a punishment in any legal system but this is eternal as His perfect law is eternal too). Don't think you fit in that category? Ever done one of these?: lying, stealing - regardless of how small the object EVER, hating others - which is murder in God's perfect law, lusting (plus God sees our entire thought life). Justice says "the soul that sins shall die" - if we break one in thought/word/deed it's as if we're guilty of all of them. Quite simply, living by the law (which is doing everything perfectly) is impossible for sinful humans . The law shows us that 1. We will die in Hell if we fail to follow it and 2. We cannot save ourselves BUT, 3. God's perfect, immovable law points us to Christ, who followed and fulfilled the law in thought, word and deed perfectly in our place. He did what we couldn't and did it on our behalf. He was then sentenced to death on a cross, and took our personal punishment for our sin, paying our penalty (like paying our fine) completely FOR us, and has given us freedom. If we turn from the sins we have committed and repent (pursue the opposite direction of love through Christ) He will, overtime, recreate us back into that previously perfect image through The Holy Spirit which Jesus sends to all who accept Him as their personal Lord and Savior of their life. He will help us through the struggle, the stress, and anything we experience in the world. It's about letting Christ in to guide and teach you and obeying Him through His power (not ourselves, we need Him to help us as it's impossible without depending on His power and instruction). He is our substitute in His life, death and resurrection. He essentially rewrote history in our place so that, if you believe in Him, it will be as if you had never sinned if you accept Christ's death as our own in our place. He is in Heaven right now preparing a place for us so that He can take His faithful, believing children home with Him when He returns. He will ressurrect us from death when He returns, giving mercy to those who accept His love, instruction and teachings in their life, and give justice to those who refuse it. He doesn't want ANY of us to go to Hell and die for continuing in evil and rejecting His way to life, thats why He died FOR us. Hes giving EVERYONE a chance, He wants everyone to take the free gift of salvation from Hell. He wants us to be His and begin to follow His life of love and service through His power and abiding (staying) with Him. So long as we keep our hearts near to Christ through His strength, strive to follow His will of perfect love revealed in the Bible, and let Him lead in the midst of (very certain) pitfalls and struggles, we will, in time, win the ultimate victory over sin, pain and DEATH through Christ. Even if you are willing to be made willing, pray for Jesus to come in and He will do what we can't. Give us The Holy Spirit who will guide us in the right way. Christ says in John 16:33: I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace. In the world you have tribulation and distress and suffering, but be courageous [be confident, be undaunted, be filled with joy]; I have overcome the world.” [My conquest is accomplished, My victory abiding.] - (AMPLIFIED version) NOTE: You are NEVER too sinful or messed up that God cannot turn your life around through Jesus. EVER. Regardless of what you've done or what you're going through you CAN make it through Jesus. If you have any questions let me know
I burn in hell bc of this comment. How is it relevant to the video? Keep your religious delusions to yourself. Concentrate on your living loved ones not on holy spirits you have never seen.
