The Strange World of Scandinavian Romance (ft. Marina From Dating Beyond Borders) 

Not sure how representative I am, but being a swede, one of the critical parts to me, that has to work for a relationship to work, is comfortable silence. I mean, imagine if during all the time you and your partner spend together, there has to be a conversatioin....! Scheeezsh... no mas.

The long period of seasonal darkness pervades everything in Scandinavia. I don't mean that in a bad way. It's just a presence in everything including relationships. You only have to watch Scandinavian movies to know that.

Thanks for having me on the channel, Stefan! I loved chatting about this topic - can talk about it all day 😂

Really interesting interview! 👊 About the open doors part I think in general most Swedish guys are great gentlemen's and they do a lot of those things, like open doors and take out the chair for the date/girl. The big difference is that the girls in Sweden are so independent and mostly really confident. That they really doesn't at all find it attractive for guys to overdo this charming things and princess treat them. The way to charm them is to be really impressed and interested at all things they have accomplished in their life so far.

Really nice and a great start of this friday. Thank you very much for making this. And so nice to see your channel is growing and growing. Have a great weekend Stefan

Loved this video, Stefan! What a great conversation!

Loved this collaboration and conversation! Thank you so much! :)

Great conversation, Stefan Always interesting to hear how others see (us) Scandis 🤣 hello from Denmark 🌸 🌧

Awesome interview, packed with interesting information, thanks! Can you please do interviews / talk about raising children in Scandinavia and particularly in Sweden? Thanks!

Well, greetings from the weird neighbour! 😄 As someone looking to move to Sweden or Norway at some point, it was really interesting to get to know the differences between each country. Fun and informative. 👍

The analogies for each Scandinavian country at the end were funny and fitting =P

We do have a terrible way of using alcohol to "be ourselves" instead of working on our self esteem, and according to research 7 out of 10 Swedes either have a real problem or drinking habits that are likely to lead to alcoholism. Many women are in their masculine energy and men are being in their feminine being passive. It's like the roles are rewersed rather than equal.. So it's not just fun and games living in Sweden.

Its so fun to hear you talk about this in this way. Because Sweden brought the entire world here in some way, its changing really fast.

I think an important factor is that the equality runs through everything - including sex. One of the factors regarding the view of men being alphas and sort of “tricking” women into bed with them is lost when there is an expected dynamic of mutual pleasure within the couple, instead of assuming that only the men get something out of it. This, and also that there’s a large understanding of women having a sexuality of our own 🥰

Yeah, great talk! Thanks! 🙂

Being born, and brought up, in the states, I could never understand, why it was necessary, while dating a person, to all of the inane and what I considered unnecessary chatter. I always loved the times of restful thoughtful silence. Many of my friends tried to “assist” me but I saw no rreason to change.

As a swede who likes things to be a bit slower I find the "dating" in Sweden to be utterly horrifying and hopeless. I don't want to get in bed with someone first time I meet them, I think sex should be between two people who share an emotional connection. That doesn't mean I believe in soulmates or you need to be married or there's only one person for you, but I think sex should be kept within a relationship, and one at a time. Add to that that I don't drink any alcohol and get uncomfortable around people who are getting drunk, and I can't stand environments where you can't carry a normal conversation due to noise it means I hardly ever go out. I'm 25 and I've been to 2 or 3 bars and/or clubs in my life and left within the hour as the people I went with started getting drunk and I started getting a headache due to noise, so I'm never really in a place to meet someone to talk to. And even if I didn't have my anti one-night stand or "KK" views, I would feel like a jerk and vile person if I went to bed with someone who was intoxicated while I was sober, even if the person in question went out that night with the objective of getting laid with some random guy that seemed good enough for the moment. I asked my first girl out when I was 13 and in the 12 years since I've only ever gotten to know 5 or 6 girls in a way that I would consider asking them out but I've always ended up getting rejected, which is always quite emotionally damaging when you already know someone well enough to have decided this is a person I would like to try and form a romantic relationship with, so after a while I just stopped. Last time was the first time in over 3 years I'd met someone like that, since I don't get out a lot and don't really have any friends who might introduce me to their friends. That broke me extra hard and led to serious suicidal thoughts and after that I decided to stop trying all together. I decided I'd rather not have girlfriend or that potential future family I've dreamed of since I was 14 and that I'd rather live the rest of my life a virgin than put myself though anything like this again, and for over a year I've been much better mentally. I can't honestly say I'm happy, but I haven't contemplated any self harm either. Sorry that it got really dark at the end, but I wanted to offer up a different perspective on the matter.

As a Swede i've usually found that when both parties are mutually interested in each other you put of the sex for abit longer, like you still can follow them home after a night out and spend the night without sleeping together! But i'm from a smaller town so guess that could be a reason as to why.. And i usually open doors, walks closest to the road on the side walk etc when im dating someone, guess its when im actually interested those things comes out abit more.. It's wierd🤣

I've been dating a Swedish guy for several years, and I could agree with most things you discussed about Swedes. Myself, I'm from the Baltics and I grew up with the idea that men given women special treatment. Oh boy, then I met a Swede... 😅 The stark difference in gender relations is still something that I struggle a bit with, to be honest. So all the girls who want to date a Swede - be ready to split the bill, all of them. 😀 And yes, the political correctness of Swedes - it's a real thing. I'm still trying to figure out what are safe topics to joke about in Sweden.😄

Tips gör en collab/ interjuv med Filip pelas 🙃 Han är polis / komiker och även på sociala medier . Bra video ! 😊

Independence in general is more emphasized, also in bringing up children, at least in Norway. That is connected to the resistance against someone else buying you something

Den här videon var intressant att se. Kan det också vara så att de sociala skyddsnät som vi har här i Scandinavien gör det lättare för paren att bli mer jämlika, än var de är i tex USA?

Interesting video, really enjoyed it. Im from Denmark and culturally we are very similar to other scandinavian countries like Sweden and Norway I think. Its kind of interesting that we are so open to having sex but at the same time I feel like the whole "courting" as In trying to start a relationship is much more slow and held back than in other countries. I kind of envy say americans that they are so straight forward, in saying like for instance "I like you" and not dance around the subject for weeks.

Im an swede and so lost in the dating sceen here. Where does people get dates here? Really sould not be this hard. The whole dating part i feel i have a good take on BUT getting dates is insane hard here

Det är intressant att höra dina reaktioner över svensk kultur och historia.Om det var billigare här i sverige.

i am a swedish man, i have never datid when i was drinking, for me it was just when i saw a girl i got interestid in, i just walk ober to her an said hi, that mostly broke the ice and got them talking, but it has gone the other way aswell, girls has come to me and started a conversasion. so it is indivindual how we date here.

For our first dates here in Sweden, we just do something simple.. meet up for a coffee, go for a walk, or just sit and talk. It seems like americans have more grand expectations about the first dates.

When talking about the countries personalities it sounds like she's copying the anthropomorphized countries in the webcomic "scandinavia and the world" (If you haven't you should look it up, it's been going for years upon years now, pretty sure it's at least a decade old if not more).

As a Norwegian: Sweedes and Norwegians are very similar to each other. Danes are very... German. In a collection of Scandinavian people, you hear the Danes first 🤭 It's sad that Norwegians aren't mentioned as much when people from other countries talk about Scandinavia, I think :/

Sure Swedish people do small talk but maybe not with everybody. As a Swede I don't recognize this view of Scandinavians. There are lots of people who don't drink or not a lot. It really depends on people and age groups also. When you talk about dating culture that's not really how it is here either. Maybe in Denmark? or possibly for some sub-groups of people (or very young people). People oftentimes meet through some dating apps/dating sites where they will talk with someone for a long time before they meet. The "sex before coffee" I find very odd and it's not something that I recognize.

One thing I notice about americans is that they seem very stressed. Talk all the time, very fast tempo. And loud . Calm down, like us scandinavians . Out in the nature much more here. That will calm you down and is very healthy both physically and mentally

Which skandinavian country is the best for living? 24:06

I’m danish and I don’t agree with everything said. But I will have to comment on one thing. Having kids before marriage is not to test the relationship. At that point couples feel like they know they are right for each other. If a relationship doesn’t work out it doesn’t matter if the couple were married or not.

Very interesting video. Thank you ❤

I mean people here don't expect the man to do the male role but they appreciate it especially if it doesn't feel forced.

I need to move to Denmark...

I always open doors, but not only toward women. And I expect them to do the same. x) It's not a huge deal, it's just what feels natural.

Kinda liked the first sketch there, good guy. Blingbling is the most useless use for your money after all, if she wants it, she can use her money ;)

I grew up in Sweden and I also think this is really interesting/weird. These people are reserved but they seem to have no problem with finding a romantic/sexual partner? I'm also reserved AND shy so I find that whole thing really awkward.

As a swedish woman, most of these aspects just makes me depressed. It’s a benefit for men but in the long aspect celibacy is a less lonely option.

If you want small talk in the stockholm region then goto Rimbo or Hallstavik in Norrtälje. People like to talk there....

Are all swedish dont like phonecalls a lot? Or txt msages?

You could ask my wife what its like being married to a finn, every time she reads an article about finns she says yes thats it even though I am 3rd generation us it was deeply ingrained in my father so just carries on. My son is a little better but the finn is strong in him.

As a swede I I think we could learn alot from the Danes

i'm a norwegian n we just chiller than americans

She said Finland is part of Scandinavia. I'm triggered 😄

Hook upp your feeling med Björn skiffs a Nice tro song.

When I lived and was growing up in Sweden, I made the decision I would never marry a Swedish man. I never met good example of a potential husband.

As a Swede I would say that yes people link up easy after the bar. But the second date is much more rare. Since both swedes are kinda antisocial and dont want to reach out x)

🥰

About marriage before kids or nah? I mean what does a peace of paper really mean in regard to bringing up a child? I think a marriage makes it more difficult to separate from each other and for me thats a bad thing. Besides some legal bs 😏 a marriage doesnt change anything. I have been with the same man for 18 years and we do not plan to get married 😅 I should also tell you that we maneged to bring up 4 beatiful children without being married and we still love each other😂😂❤❤

Quality of education: 1. Finland 2. Denmark 3. Sweden 4. Norway ? I know Finland has been considered the best within mathematics, not sure how the status is 2023 No Amazon.

Scandinavians sound very conscious and spiritual people... more listning/observing and less talking ... wow...

You talk about Scandinavians but where is the Norwegians???

I find the US to be very old fashioned, whereas the Scandinavians are more with the times. Which style is better for the human race remains to be seen but I know which one I prefer.

Scandinavians highly value self-sufficiency. Most thing's you talk about circle around that.

The disscus won't be current and last for long tho due to the fact that Scandinavians gonna end up pretty quickly. Theyve brought the whole world to their land. People are mixing themselves, all kind of them.

One nights stand is not a date.

Sex is not a tabboo for gays in US. Gays hook up all the time in US.

LOL drinking is more the Danish are you kiddin me ... ever heard of the swedes invading denmark bc of the restrictions with systembolaget

Well small talk in the us has led me to some amazing relationships, hookups and even business opportunities.... , Swedes act like Japanese lol

I feel like I am the only person who is actually a Conservative in Scandinavia. But then again, I also hard pass on dating Scandinavians. 🤮

The drink "swedes drink a lot" is funny. Simply because, we don't. We drink 7 liters alcohol per capita. The US drink 8.3 liters alcohol per capita. A lot of what she says about Sweden, just isn't true. Makes me really sad to see that someone writes a book about dating culture in a country that they don't know enough about. You don't go out to drink and go home with someone to fuck em. That is a very small miniority of people that do that. And I worked at a night club for 7 years, It's the same people, over & over just sleeping with each other. Our sex culture is not that free. At all. Having a high number of sexual partners as a women is something you get extremely slut shamed for here. My take on "swedish dating culture" is simple, we don't have one, we don't date.

Marriage isn't that important in sweden, and there are a bunch of people have the kids every other week.

Denmark is the mild mother, Sweden the strict father, Norway the beuatiful dauther, Finland the rebelious son, Iceland a cousin and Greenland an adopted child. There's also a crepy uncle - not a blood relative though! - we try to ignore-

😅😎😉 I think I have to agree as a swede

"...mutual masturbation..." Bulls eye!

I've never dated so I had no idea people have sex before hooking up. I met my partner through an internet forum. We were just looking for friends and that's what we were at first. I'm glad that happened because sex to me is something you should only do with a partner. I don't even consider it important or a priority. It can come several years in to the relationship. I kind of look down on anyone that thinks the opposite. I know that's not nice of me but I do and I can'thelp it. I find it pathetic. Love is so much more than sex. There are hundred of things I'd rather do before I go to bed with someone I love. So if I ever end up single I will probably never find a likeminded woman again. Unless people mature ln their 30's and stop acting like a horny teenager.

Pffff i need to go to Sweden asap cause hooking up in th u,s is easy af... So i can't imagine it being even easier... , dynamite...

As a Norwegian I can’t stop laughing, especially at all the ridiculous comments. Sorry that our liberal, progressive culture, country, society, custom and norms and equality triggers and scares you🤣🤣🤣 Especially you in the colonized lands of America, who wouldn’t know what any of those are🤪🤡🤷🏾‍♀️ Tho the drinking, partying, and sex isn’t new but can be traced all the way back to the Vikings. It’s just the modern look and appearance that’s new.

But then how do you start getting to know someone like humour or travel or food or school or family. Sure it’s small talk but you don’t know this person so how could you go deep. That makes zero sense. If you can’t just talk to someone even if it’s a bit it’s just social to do. I can spot a drunk person and if they’d approach me they’d get a black eye. I do not put up with this nonsense.

You say Scandinavians... But it feels like you know almost nothing about Norway...

Scandinavians are cool, but they seriously need to be drunk just to socialize which I think is frustrating.

Sleeping around is a thing in Sweden also. We call them Hora (a.k.a Whore)

First to be here

Hello!! If you’ve watched the videos no one with an ounce of respect and value themselves would lower themselves to beg like a dog to be accepted by Scandinavians. HELLO!! Wake up.

That’s why they have the highest levels of clamedia.

Vilken man söker en kvinna på en dejting app? En amatör.😂

Yah but how hypocritical do they want space but they’ll jump into bed after a drunken 30 seconds??? No this is pure rubbish.

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