I am in this situation....ive been living with my inlaws and i dont feel like im building myself rather im building them😢😢😢...May God give me strength to make the right decision
I always say the max days for visiting inlaws is 2days, especially if they are a very big family. Usually we women are mistreated & undermined. Inlaws are competitive, they always wanna show off how they can cook, how well they can clean, how long they can pray, how well they can treat your husband, etc.. You are stuck there feeling small and frustrated ... 🇿🇦
As someone who desires to be married one day, I have been taking mental notes from observing married couples and I completely agree with Benjamin. I have visited with relatives that lived with their in laws and I can tell y'all, THE STRIFE IS REAL!!! Couples, please have your own space!! In order to maintain respect between yourselves and relatives, boundaries and space are necessary. This is good advice💯❤️
I support Benjamin 101% be in your on compound, I lived with in laws and the relationship ended in 3 months ,you find being fought north west east south and if your man isn't on your side surely you will suffer, and I swore never ever again
I have seen it in my family. Nyanya has made it clear, kila mtu aiishi kwake. And when she got sick, a help was hired for her in her home, she only comes to Nairobi for doctors visits and doesn't stay for over a week. We need to care and protect our families and lives.
Always respect your in laws and be wise. Zulu have wisdom but don't be foolish to agree with everything that he is saying because doesn't apply to everyone.
Since the day i landed on this show 2 weeks ago, i got stuck and i have never been disappointed!! U guys r the best!!! I love laughing and learning with u!!! Watching and enjoying your shows from Rwanda🇷🇼🇷🇼🇷🇼🇷🇼🇷🇼
💯 agree with Benjamin Zulu....I have experienced it where the mother-inlaw actually knows the inside out of the marriage than me,the wife and she tells the son how to run the marriage including me. Finally,I realized throughout the marriage,the male I have been married to cheated and a very sexualised predator. In other words,he had hidden life style I didn't know and uses Bible and church to cover evil deeds and after,12 years I ended the marriage and for me to realise that all these years I was treated an option and not priority! Thanks Joyce and Benjamin for highlighting on the matter.
I live in a compound in Nairobi with 5 bro in laws and their families....its crazy...toxic. Manipulation,control issues,divide and rule,lies,insults etc I find it difficult to create a home where the man I submit to is not in control.
I get you. I've stayed for a month with a bro in law and it's draining. It's a bedsitter. No space, no boundary.And he's a dirty bro. Menn it's draining
Same here, we are going for year number 3 of living with our in-laws. It sucks. My husband does not make enough to get us out of our situation and I am still studying. I have two years left of studying before I get my degree. It’s hard…really really hard. If I had known this would happen I would have never moved out of my parent’s house and sometimes I wish that I could move back in with my parents but I cannot. I am already married, the deed is done and dusted, I cannot go back in time.
I feel you my sister, talk to your husband. Pray for God to reveal to him what you’re going through. Fast and Pray and together work very hard and move out. It will get worse and not better, your peace and freedom is very important…Isaiah 60: 22
People are forgetting that one day they would be a mother in law. The golden rule treat others the way you want to be treated. We are only hearing the negative stories but there are positive relationship too. People need to look for positive side and know their boundaries and show Godly love. Look for people who have good relationship so they can give you good advice. Do not listen to a voice that seems controlling. Some men are so controlling that the girl mother might be trying to advice the daughter and the man does not like that. Some men feel they can do a woman anything because the woman is vulnerable, afraid of him and do not know what to do. She would tell her mother one she can trust and the mother in law would talk to him but he would be upset. Ladies do not throw away your mom because the man do not want your mother there so she can see how he treats you at home. Take warning.
I like the first part of you comment. A lot of woman that like to criticise they mother in law always end up being worst than them in the future. There is always positive and negative things about the in laws. Like you said its more important to focus on the positive side. In law are very very very important. They help a lot. Always respect them.
Pray and asked for God to give you the Grace financially to move out. Your freedom and peace is very important. God is Faithful and He said so shall a man leave his father and mother’s house to be one with his wife❤May God Bless you my dear
All that Benjamin has said is common sense to me.My sentiments exactly💯.I have had this very discussion with people time and time again. Folks end up falling into traps of their own making because of putting sentiment where logic should take priority.
Zulu you have handled this topic in an excellent way Required: if parents are sick get them nurses In laws please stay away from other peoples marriage Yaani Zulu on this topic u have done an excellent job People pretend they want in laws around but tht is it
This is y some women come into the marriage battle ready, they create walls around them against the in laws even be4 they try it..... They r aware that one is not a joke.
Thank you ,the bitter truth ... in-laws will mess you big deal especially those ladies who visits ,does no house cores in the name of niko my brother yangu😓😓
Waooooh Joyce n Benja this is lit leaving with in-law is the worst went to visit my in-laws for Christmas abroad lockdown ndiyo iyo 6months the same roof I feel tired she is monitoring me...but I thank God he is great
I am not going to listen to any negative energy because not all relationship are the same and no mother in law would want to go to marriage couple home soon after they are married.
I understand what you are saying Benjamin however it is also biblical to honour and respect parents. In laws are parents to both couples and should be given their rightful respect even if it means accommodating them when there’s a need. Brothers and sisters in laws I don’t care they don’t have to stay.
Jabulile Nkambule yes that I agree but when he says don’t support your parents in your house if they are sick for sometime....I don’t know who would watch their parents ailing from a far. Put them in a hotel?
It's says 'CHILDREN honour your parents' when you marry, both are adults NOT children to obey and surrender and to carry on keeping your parents number 1 in your life. Your spouse is supposed to be your number 1 priority.
Mimi am in trouble... I got pregnant in the first yr of marriage and immediately three months into marriage his mum pushed her way in... Living in a one bedroom and I am thinking of quitting because everytime I mention my space to my husband he says I hate his mum which I don't I just need space.. She has blood pressure and home area cold and she says because the son has a good job she can't stay at home... The mum is manipulative. Bcz everytime my husband talks to her she starts being ridiculous claiming she will go back home and I see my hubby has no say bcz he feels the mum can get mad. He is tore everytime... And now because it has got to this point I feel like I want to move out even though my husband is nice in everything I just feel I can't handle this.. She can't even move to ushago and get a nanny she claims it's cold.. Aki anyone who can help me I am emotionally drained
It’s a full time job to take care of in-laws. Lord forbid you have to work a full time Joan’s and children. Trust, you lose all Of yourself if there are no boundaries
