The Top Five Indicators of a Healthy Personality 

"Don't blame other people for who you are." Great counseling.👍

Dr. Carter is like the strong, but gentle father that soooooo many people need. 😀🙏🙏💕

Once you become healthy, life becomes so much easier. You'll always have circumstances you can't control but you'll have the inner strength/knowledge to handle what's thrown your way. Community is important but the right community for yourself is essential. Stay strong y'all. Thank you Dr. for the content.

This is the first video I've seen that focuses on a healthy personality.

1: O-openness. Curious, inventive. 2: C-conscientious. Reliable, trustworthy, punctual. 3: E-extraversion. Outgoing, connected, sociable. 4: A-agreableness. Accepting, positive, cooperative. 5: N-neuroticism. Stable, calm, impulse control. Well it's hard to keep up to these standards! I'd say I'm doing the best I can, maybe with number five, neuroticism, being my weakness, thank you for pointing that out Dr C!

What impressed me the most was his statement about "the mark of maturity" is about maintaining a healthy personality when in a situation that is uncomfortable. I know a couple of people with great personalities and I really like being around them because I don't have to worry if I say the wrong thing because they won't get offended, I trust them to not size me up totally as a person just because I said something they don't agree with. I'm actually learning here what makes these great personalities so good. I assumed they had a gift but really, if we practice the skills I believe any of us can all develop good personalities and let the best part of ourselves shine.

Reading these comments, I’m surprised nobody has complimented you on how well you speak. I was initially brought to this video by an accidental click, but before I was able to exit, I was drawn in by your eloquent and warm way of speaking. I ended up watching the whole thing! Well done, keep it up. 👍🏻

Only extroverts think introverts are "unhealthy"...it's called listening, being aware and not needing people to feel healthy.

The challenge of not blaming bullies and narcissists who make it impossible to escape their damaging ways is difficult!

When people say “you made me do it” ..... these are the weakest people my friends... don’t let people have control of you or your day...

I would add responsible... Accepts responsibility for one's own actions.

What I notice is that all of these require honesty.

I loss my Family because learned to stand up for my self , it hurts ! They didn't like the new me

I Love you man! I watch for people who have traits and skills that I would aspire to. Role models if you will. You're one of them. I love the work that you're doing to help heal folks myself included.

You are a gem, Dr. C! Openness (curiosity, seeks a variety of experiences; engages with the world; accepting; uses imagination; seeks common ground (vs rigidity) *Conscientiousness* reliable, courteous, follows through, word is your bond, trustworthy; punctual (versus sloppy, erratic, inconsistent) Extroversion makes the effort to engage with others (even if an introvert) and makes effort to connect; asks about others; interacts (versus shyness to the point of making self unavailable; emotionally shut down; aloof) Agreeableness (not intellectually) accept that others are what they are; no rigid agenda; positive; cooperative; anticipate others needs (verus stubbornness, pushiness, argumentative) Neuroticism tension, anxiety, easily bothered and annoyed (versus emotionally stable, calmness, impulse control, steady)

"It's not what they call you, It's what you answer to." W.C. Fields.

Unfortunately, the healthy personality will inevitably attract, and must defend itself against, the envy of unhealthy personalities.

I like when things are broken down in explanation. Makes it easier to understand without misunderstanding. Thank you Dr. C.

It is wild and baffling to me that these things and other basic human relational and emotional skills are not taught to us in school growing up. It is not a trivial thing that can be pushed aside. It should be the foundation before and alongside everything else! I sincerely hope this changes in the future. The world would be so much better off with more informed, caring, conscientious individuals! I believe that starts with us as a society placing more value onto these traits. Love and blessings, thanks.

This is probably the most affirming video I've seen. I AM healthy and people have always tried to tell me I'm not. There's a lot of illness out there. I've really felt beated down a lot of my life. And yes, I'm imperfect, I sometimes have the unhealthy characteristics. Sometimes other people do create circumstances that cause us to fail but most of the time, it's us, ourselves.

😍 Hallelujah! I'm not so bad after all. Neurotic, yes. 😄 Working on that- everyday. Thank you for your authenticity & compassion⚘💛

This video was so refreshing to watch after getting out of an emotionally abusive relationship. Being yelled & screamed at & criticized all the time at home was making me a rather nasty neurotic person to be around. My friends were so patient with me because they could tell I wasn't being myself. I got so upset at work over the smallest thing I almost walked out in an instant & quit. Now that I am out of that relationship & am am free from the abuse I have simultaneously stopped being so short with people & have a much better sense of well being. It wasn't him that was causing me to behave in that way. It was me. Me consciously choosing to stay in a toxic situation. I knew i was not emotionally healthy but I remained there for reasons I laugh at now. People can drain us but it is up to us to help ourselves. Not everyone experiences everything the same. Just look after yourselves & your own emotional well being.

OCEAN: 1. Openness: curiosity, look for a variety of experiences, accepting, engaging with the world around them. They use their immagination. Inquisitive about opposite/different opinions. NOT: single minded, rigid, close-minded, uptight, concrete, don't like to be challenged. 2. Conscientiousness: reliable, trustworthy, courteous, tuned to the world around them, aware of impact to others, consider others, punctuality. NOT: unreliable, sloppy, messy, inconsistent. You never know if they will do sth, and if it will be done on time. 3. Extraversion: you don't need to be naturally extraverted. But at least making the effort to engage with other people, connect, sociability, friendliness, affirming, ask about interest/needs of other people. NOT: shut down, shyness-unavailability, aloof, unavailable, disinterested, could not care less. 4. Agreeableness: can you disagree accepting others, no fixed agenda, tolerating other people, positive outlook, cooperative, like affirming others, anticipate needs of other people. NOT: stubbornness, pushiness, pessimism, argumentative. 5. Neuroticism: not very neurotic, emotionally stable, calmness, impulse control, steadiness, mindedness. NOT: tension, anxiety, agitation, easily bothered and annoyed. ------------------------------ Most important: contientiousness. To be a healthy/mature individual you want to be: 1. intentional (I like to grow, want to make plans) 2. Don't blame other people for your flaws. (maturity) You need to be able to stay healthy even when others don't cooperate. 3. Make sure other people don't establish your pace. People should not trip you up emotionally. And pull you into their flaws (co-dependency) 4. Be true to yourself (know who you are).

Thank you! Been following your surviving narcissism series. I’m trying York on myself and improve my social skills and learn to not be codependent. I grew up in the 50s-70s in a very dysfunctional military family and because we moved so often (13 schools in 12 years) I never had the advantage of a good support system or validation from others, so I have a serious issue with social skills and making and keeping friends. I find your videos to be straightforward and I learn a lot! I might be in my 60’s but it is never too late to improve my life and learn to attract and build healthy relationships!

Nothing compares to swimming successfully in the beauty of the wide-open and often unpredictable Ocean called Life. Thank you for today’s blessing, DrC .😊

Thank you Dr. Carter, it's a good reminder that I am a good person, since the narcissist in my life has always made me feel the opposite.

It’s very important to be reminded that these are qualities of value. Sometimes “noisier” personalities can be overwhelming and diminishing, particularly narcissistic ones. That happened to me, and I lost confidence in myself. I felt like a failure. But I’ve got things in perspective now and my confidence is back. I’ve learned a great deal from your videos these past few months. It’s not been an easy journey, but I’m so much happier and peaceful now. You have helped me very much, and your timing with this video was perfect for me. It shored up my confidence. Thank you😊

“To thine own self be true “ was my Mother’s mantra and we grew up hearing it on a regular basis! Wonderful outlook and I loved this video. Thank you Mum, thanks Dr Les!

I'm am introvert on the Meyers Briggs scale. It doesn't mean I'm shy, it just means my preference is solitude. I gain strength from being alone, while extroverts gain strength or recharge from being among others. So it doesn't quite mesh that I need to be an extrovert to have a healthy personality. I stopped the video to comment, so if you address this further on...my apologies.

You are always a goldmine of information and make me think about things. Much appreciated.

Narcissist mother is the complete opposite of all of these. This is what she taught me. Thank goodness I have had jobs with some very healthy people and one friend who I have tried to learn from! The biggest insult I have ever gotten was someone saying, " you are just like your mom." Wow, that will get my attention and I will immediately work on changing.

I think it's interesting how my expression of these characteristics can vary in different relationships or circumstances. Also, I think E should be Engaging, not Extroversion...the word extroversion comes with certain cultural connotations that aren't necessarily what's being highlighted here. A quiet introvert can contribute well-thought-out-ideas to a conversation and invite others to dig deep for their thoughts and opinions, which is engaging, while a loud-mouthed extrovert can be particularly bullish and hog the conversation, which is extroverted but not engaging at all because everyone else feels steamrolled.

- Curiosity, engagement, new experiences, asking questions - Reliance, trustworthy, aware of their decisions - Extraversion, engagement efforts, available - Agreeable, tolerant, positive outlook - Non-neurotic, impuls control

Great to see someone focusing on the healthy side of being a person! As someone who has grown up in a family with a mother and brother who display several overlapping personality disorders, I have learned that the values of Truth, Justice, and Integrity, can inspire us all to nurture a healthy, happy, and fulfilled life.

1-Openness (Abertura) 2-Conscientiousness (Consciência) 3-Extroversion (Extroversão) 4-Agreeableness (Agradabilidade) 5-Neuroticism (Neuroticismo) 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

Hands up ✋ I'm very easily annoyed by people's rudeness lol.

Mental health check ups are now so easy to do, thanks to videos like these. No one needs to feel lost and alone especially in these times. I'm your latest subscriber!

Dr.Les Carter ... Thank you for the OCEAN concept ... Crystal clear ... Merci!

We never stop learning ....... thank you for your efforts Dr Les

I'm working daily to have a better healthier personality. My view on life is no longer damaged nor am band-aiding it to hide who I am. Learned a lot in 90 days or so and my Cup Of Knowledge keeps being filled since I honestly don't much of anything. Honesty, Serienty, Love and Joy! Today I am light that burns bright like the Sun. A new man of integrity. Thank you for the videos Dr. You have helped me in my growing since I have found your channels.

It's reassuring to know that I have a perfectly healthy personality.

Wow, you just made me realize that after 4 years on a keto diet, I have become much more of the healthy kind of person you speak of. All I needed to do is eliminate all the sugar and starchy foods that made me mentally fuzzed in and unable to function in a healthy way. Astounding to realize.

I'm flowing with the ocean. Lovely to see a video on healthy ways of existing. But most of us search in desperation explanations to these impossible people who do not respond normally, who leave us stumped, who abuse us, and we leave and are left with questions. But it really is nice to see HEALTH, feeling reassured ones own self is healthy. Especially as narcissists and other psychos spent years twirling you around in their lies, deception, yelling, stealing, erratic, crazy, threatening CHAOS.

There is one question that I ask myself about every situation I find myself in, and that question is What part of this did I play? Or what did I do or didn't do that brought out this outcome, what role did I play? I believe that whatever you involve yourself with, you have to look at yourself first and realize understand and except your part to get the best results for all involved.

Thank you, Dr. CARTER! 🌷 *To know love is to know trust; to know oneself is to know truth.* ~~12th G. Grandchild of Wm. S. William was a careful carpenter.

Wow. This video made me realize I REALLY AM a healthy person. I hit the majority of these points. Toxic people in my past who sought to confuse and debilitate put a question mark in my subconscious mind as to if I was the one with unhealthy traits, or if they really were. This video really helped clarify that to my conscious mind. Thank you.

All Of Dr C’s vids are so helpful. I’m under covert assault right now and its amazing how much these videos help me work through recovery. I’m stunned at how the behavior of narcs that have selected me as a target, seem to escalate in all the ways i read about. Narcs with psych degrees are almost terrifying. And i know a few. Thanks Dr C.

So nice to consider ones self from the healthy angle & self responsibility & not the negative influence of others. Sometimes we forget that if the stability, strength and approval come from within then we don't have to worry about where we're going to obtain them. Thank you!

Very uplifting. Knowing who you are. Knowing your identity is important. Being true and authentic. To me this means 'value yourself'. Only I have the power to do this. Be steadfast and hold your dignity. Dont break. Be strong to my values that make me, me. I am challenged constantly with this for 2 reasons. I work in a dementia setting and am married to a raging, raving narcissist. This is a daily battle and it's grinding, however I adore the residents I care for. It is a sad debilitating disease that they cannot control. My narc husband on the other hand should know better. Regardless of his immature manipulation, abuse, lowest of negativity and humiliation he inflicts on me I remain true to my strength in knowing 'who I am'. I feel sorry for him and he can wallow in his depressed self knowing he's 'lost', with no sense of identity. Many, many masks however who is the real?

Dr. Cartes, thank you for your continued education on mental health. I especially enjoyed listening to these indicators of healthy individuals. I really wish that this was an ongoing coursework in high schools. It would help the world create healthy and happy adults:)

Hello doctor Carter. Just want to tell you how much I appreciate your vidéos Your caractère and your vision. I feel safe when I learn from you. God bless you. You Are a very Nice and wise person. God gave you a wonderful mission to speak truth and help broken souls. I bless you ou

I so appreciate Dr. Carter's warm, comforting style of delivery. Straightforward, yet caring.

Nearly 20 years ago , during a visit made to my parents as I was on a 2 week holiday from my work as a Dressage rider on tour throughout the U .S .A. & Canada , made an. appointment with a psychologist for myself and my parents as my mother was making all 3 of us MISERABLE . We , all 3 went to the appointment and after 15 minutes , I was asked to leave as it wasn't me who was causing the problem within the family - my poor Father was left with dealing with my narcissistic mother . Your information is bringing up so many memories that had been buried . I'm certainly so far from a perfect person but I'm not going around harming others . Thank you so very much for this wonderful information ! You are helping me to heal and move forward with my life .

Empathy,patience, courage, faith,

"I know who I am, I know where I'm going, and I want to go someplace good." This was so reassuring to hear. Thank you.

Thank you. We need to focus on where we want to go rather than the mess we might be in right now. Knowing what's healthy is important. If we know what having a healthy personality means, we can intuitively recognize what's not. And then we can build our sense of self-worth and our confidence to withstand bullying and manipulation from others. Let's stop crying for the world to change for us, let's change ourselves first.

Thank you Dr.Carter . Love your new Channel ! Something I have noticed , a common thread if you will ,that seems to run through unhealthy people or Narcissists lives is that they are rarely on time. Even when they set the time and date themselves ! If they call you and say " I will see you at 3pm." That should mean 3pm ! Maybe give and take 15 minutes here or there (given traffic issues , etc. ) But when this happens and the person shows up 5 HOURS LATER saying : " I had to make a few pit stops , then I got hungry and had to grab a bit to eat, etc." They KNOW ' YOU' are waiting on them to show up . If you say one sentence like " Hey, you had your cell phone on you ...why didn't you just call me and tell me you would be late ?"...they will came up with all kinds of excuses... I have seen Narcissists use this again and again , a way of CONTROLLING you and the situation. When a pattern develops . its time to wake up and know you cannot rely on that person. I use to think habitually late people were just lazy . Or, had bad timing. But almost every Narcissist I have dealt with is rarely punctual .

For everyone getting riled up about extroversion he means not as the action but of the inner 'feeling' of an individual. An openly extroverted person may be an island in his/her mind and a (shy) introvert might long to connect with others, although they enjoy their quiet time as well.

Very informative and a great list of points to focus on. I’ve thought from time to time what it’d be like to spend the day with ones self and how “I” would perceive “me”. Sounds kinda scary but what a way to learn how we come across to others. But then again we’re our own worst critic at times. Great video Dr.C

You've taught me, and continue to teach me, so very much! Thank you, Dr. Carter, for all your words of wisdom! God bless!

At the outset I thought that “E” would stand for Empathy.. I feel that “ to have Empathy” is the most important part of my healthy well-being.

Thanks, this is what we needed. Not only is this a personal guide, but for those of us who have spent too long under narcissistic control, this gives us a check list to see if the person we are looking at is more normal or might have glaring personality issues that we continually fail to notice until it’s too late. Using this list, I can see where , 35 years ago, I chose to ignore some fairly basic personality flaws. Anything I have ever wanted to do I had to do alone because it didn’t fit my spouses “stay at home” preferred way of life. The indicators were always there, but I ignored them. Very good!

I've also seen this being referred to this as the 5 factor model, and I think it's a very good indicator of a "healthy personality". It also makes measuring unhealthy personalities (especially in the 10 personality disorders) much easier. While I think everyone would generally agree that these 5 traits are desirable, they are often not rewarded, or even discouraged in the real world. I would say that I have a very healthy personality, and I believe I have OK boundaries, but I feel that having these traits can be difficult for someone to maintain in world where others lack empathy. These traits can be perceived as being "weak" and make a person ripe for scapegoating.

people open up to you if they sense you are a good person. Non of us are perfect of course, but in this day and age of 'me first' and social climbing etc its very refreshing to have people who will stick to thier principles.

Thanks. It is so easy to focus on the difficult people we live it and lose ourselves in the process. This talk is such a good reminder to "be true to the person we are and want to be." We either grow bitter or better. I choose better.

This is so helpful, thank you. I'm in therapy for depression and anxiety developed after years of psychological abuse in marriage, and this outline helps give me perspective. It helps me recognize how unhealthy my situation is, reminds me of what healthy actually is, and helps make me aware of the unhealthy behaviors I have developed over the course of this marriage, so I can work on them.

I truly appreciate your approach to explaining how to know oneself and others. I feel that you direct the talks in a very open direction that allows for inner reflection. Rather than accusatory, blaming, or shaming. Your approach is sobering in a sense. So thank you!

I have been told I am overly conscientious and too sensitive almost my entire life. I tend to put others' needs ahead of my own. I, until recently, have made others' problems my own and went about solving others' problems to relieve the anxiety it was causing me. This is mainly with family members. I was being drained emotionally and physically ... so I've had to detach. Some for as long as 20 to 30 yrs. I was in medical management and was better to deal with daily putting out fires than w the family dramas. Love your approach to helping us understand people ...

I watch at least one of your videos daily. I’m sure I’ve learned more from one video then years of seeing Dr. Phil. Lmao. Love these! 💕

Sadly enough, an healthy personality is not correlated with success, and dark triad's traits are quite common at the top...

Thank you a million times over❣ After decades of being th "fall-guy" in my immediate family (parent, sibling) I actually think I might be.... normal....(well, mostly, anyway 😂😂).

Les, when I watch your videos I feel a consciencious person which is the missing element of my past relationships. .You are what has been missing, like a unicorn to me. thank you ! Julie

How could anyone give this a thumb's down? Tells you a lot, huh!

Agreeable. There seems to be an increase in disagreeableness, which I recognize as O.D.D. A narc needing control will be argumentative, play devil's advocate, take the opposite side. If they didn't, they'd be agreeing with you and giving you credit for knowing something.

Clear and simply put. Thank you! Of course, there are moments of temporary off center behavior, in everyone’s life. Generally, though, these are brief, temporary, and forgivable with caring , true apologies and balance returns.

Your clarion call for sanity, is a vital service to a disoriented and hurting world. We owe you our Gratitude Sir. 🙏

I agree that it's important to be open to new experiences, but I feel comfortable saying no to any suggestion that disrespects my values. I don't feel the need or desire to try things to which I am morally opposed.

Always right on topic! Thanks for these pointers. I have started a notebook to make sure I commit your guidance to my everyday life. Never too late to make a change for the betterment of one's life!! ❤ your commitment to your followers and good mental health. Thanks Dr. Wes.✌

I appreciate your teachings!! When I make a commitment, I stick to it. Period. I like to be a woman of my word! When others say they will do something but don't follow through, I make a mental note that they are unreliable, immature, and double-minded.

I was a bit shocked at how much of the covert narcissist video I felt was how I am so I watched this and I think I have some work to do but I know I don't like hurting others so I think I may be a bit messed up but I'm going to work on these traits. I don't want to spend my life blaming other people for my lack of success I life and I can see doing that has been tripping me up. Thank you Dr Les you are a star.

I used to try to engage people.... I don’t any more... at least not much. lately, people exhaust me.

In spite of a lot of challenges I was blessed to always be open to learning. I know some of that research and while OCEAN feels rich and useful I would add resilience and boundaries, which you and Shakespeare mention. I believe living a good life is a gift and an art to be practiced. I am both an introvert and extrovert. I love showing pessimistic friends how to flip views and when we hang, they get it even on a hectic shopping trip. I engage easily and step away if not received. Social worker Brene Brown has a nice video on accepting oneself as an Outsider. I take that as staying true to oneself and as much as possible not believing I know you without engaging w mutual respect. Life as art. What a gift! Thanks for another provocative lesson, Dr. C!

Dr. Carter, Thank you for taking time to share what you have studied, learned and are practicing. This has helped me do introspection, take a more aware approach in my communication, but also helped me identify characteristics of people I'm associated with that I need to show empathy for, at a healthy distance.

One of your best talks yet. I like the emphasis on looking for the healthy behaviors in others. I have viewed many of your talks and applied what I have learned to evaluating the men I meet through Internet dating and also to what I can offer to a healthy relationship. In particular, I was able to take responsibility for my own behavior and work towards changing it to a healthier way of living. Thank you for the many hours you have put into helping others.

It is a challenge to stay true to yourself though and keep from getting triggered when your spouse or someone close to you is the opposite of a healthy personality.

I love this! Thank you, Dr. Carter, and have a Happy Easter!

The ocean has always been my happy place, and this acronym is another reason why. 🌊😄

I think many times the upbringing has a big effect on these traits. I was raised that your word is your bond. I ALWAYS keep my word no matter what. Even if the other person fails to keep up their end of the bargain or circumstances change. It has been pretty difficult at times. I often wondered how others could be so cavalier about reneging on promises. Guess they just failed the healthy personality test.

I have to admit: I was completely oblivious to this EQ thing, but everything you say makes sense. I was completely oblivious to how important emotions are to regulating my own life. I had assumed everything was strategic and everything revolved around making contingency plans. But that was a false assumption. It was still very much in the realm of attempting to control one's environment, completely neglecting our ability to actually manage ourselves. I have been actively seeking high and low for the answers, and it is my own honest opinion that your talks have been an exceedingly rich minefield of food for thought. I often ask myself: "Why do I feel so burnt out all the time and how on earth do these people maintain that smile in spite of the caustic nature of reality we all live in?" And the answer seems to be that they aren't trying to tank it all like me. They aren't treating life like a war zone. It's almost like I have to relearn how to be a human being living in a society again, after just being in survival mode for so long. Society is not like the wilds. And it isn't like a war zone. In both the above, it's just you against the world. It's very simple, straightforward, black and white. But in society, everything is far more complex. Because other human beings don't always make sense. And the difference between another human being and nature or an enemy constant is that there is an advantage to establishing dialogue and pooling resources. People who are better at tapping into pooled resources through establishing dialogue tend to thrive. Whereas people, like me, who tend to try to always live on their own resources, tend to just get marginalised and burnt out. But even that's going into codependency mode. This person is speaking of a very remarkable state of being: Setting goals, establishing intentions, seeing those intentions through to their fruition, in spite of many hardships, set backs, variables completely outside of your control, things that can blindside you, etc etc etc. He's literally talking about taking charge of your own life. Managing your own life. Managing your own emotions. Managing your own self. This is very much an internal locus of control. It's far superior to attempting to accrue resources and build up infrastructure and establishing and solidifying strategic alliances to shore up your position against adversity. Because resources can dry up, built up infrastructure can be destroyed, and alliances can fall apart. But you can always fall back on your self skills to start again from scratch. He's talking about turning the self from a closed universe, like a computer program, into an open universe, that's in consistent communication with the outside world, with calibrators and indicators and alarms for when things are off, and tweaking all the little things to get by better. I guess it's a massive step up from pure and simple survival mode into thriving mode and optimisation mode. To go from trying to not die to learning how to maximise my relationships with my fellow human beings to ensure we all get the optimal results possible for each other. Perhaps these are the ultimate lessons that are open for me to learn in these English speaking lands, where people think with their hearts, and not with an attempt at pure logic, like the Germans under the influence of Emmanuel Kant and his Categorical Imperative (which tends to work rather poorly in English speaking lands, because it is almost impossible to create an open dialogue between the Categorical Imperative and Utilitarianism), nor with an attempt to adhere to external social codes of propriety, like in China, under the influence of Confucius, where etiquette and elegance of speech is a status symbol rather than, respectively, like in English speaking lands, a demonstration of respect for the other person, and to increase good quality communication and understanding and to maintain being on the same page. Basically, English speaking morality seems far more hands on and practical. Results oriented. Experience informed. Experimental in nature. Open to novelty and change. German morality is far more formal, idealistic, rigid, averse and resistant to change, and takes pride in consistency (in belief, as opposed to action. Germans don't think that much about the consequences of actions, but far more about the consequences of beliefs. It's just a tendency I've observed, and both make sense, but the two groups understand each other very poorly.) And Chinese morality is very outward and normative, which is very good for coordination, assuming whoever in charge knows what they are doing, which is seldom the case. But I think I'll use this OCEAN model of emotional regulation, because it sounds like it might lead me to better results in the long run. As they say: "When in Rome, do as the Romans do." But even that advice, I'll take with a grain of salt.

This is exactly right! However I think that in these last days there will be many who are angry with us when we do what is right. They even hate when we have grown, they liked us better when we were mess ups, or at least their idea of our mess ups. The challenge is to become the person God wants us to be no matter what others are doing around us or to us. I find my strength to grow in knowing that Christ can do this in me. I love people but they do not dictate my choices when I want to walk with Christ. Choosing Christ over those who want to draw me away from Him is the only way I can live. However, even when a mean person challenges me about something I can think about what they said, pray to see if it is true and move on from there. If its not true then there is no reason to change anything, if it is true then I can move forward toward change. God can even use those who are against me to show me things.

Love you Dr Les … from 🇳🇿 New Zealand. ‘To thine own self be true. If thou canst not be true to thine own self, thou canst not be true to any man’ … My daily reminder of how integrity serves me in relationship to self and other, flawed human that I am!

I alwayscsaycti my narc " we have to agree to disagree" bot this one seriously aggravates him to the core.

I love your presentations, Dr. Carter, it's always great to listen to you!

Dr C. Thank you for helping me understand me

Personal development, no blaming, taking responsibility, even under non-healthy circumstances...., your own pace...know who you are....

Dr Carter, I learned so much from your narcissistic channel with the result that i understood what a friend of mine was doing and i left her. (Actually, she made some drama and threatened to end the friendship, and i accepted much to her surprise, and don‘t even feel guilty about that.) I kept watching your narcissistic channel, because i can get so much out of your videos. But since i‘m done with narcissism, that toxic topic got a bit tiresome for me. Therefore, it is great that you have opened a new channel to share other aspects of valuable knowledge with us!

I watch this periodically to check in with myself to see if I am developing into a healthy and safe person.

Finally someone focuses on a “ HEALTHY “ personality! Thank you, Sir!

I've become a hermit , I just feel frayed , it makes me sad.

I am so grateful to you Dr Carter for these videos. I came to know about you via your Surviving Narcissium RU-vid vlogs. They have been super helpful to me because I was in an extremely toxic working relationship with 2 narcs and a flying monkey. While in the relationships I experienced EVERYTHING you shared about that personality trait. It was an awful experience to say the least. Thankfully, I was transferred from that location to another where it is healthy and relatively peaceful. Thank you again for the videos as well as this new initiative. God bless you and your family. By the way, where's Gus ? :D