Tatiana, as a therapist, I wholeheartedly agree with you. You are completely on point with this. My husband and I are working towards financial freedom ASAP in order to have this as an option when we have children. It's heartbreaking and absolutely devastating to society/children/parents to have such a lack of freedom/support in rearing children in the US.
I'm glad you resonate with the message. It's so great that you are aware and are trying to consciously plan conception to set your family up for success.
You seem like such a good mother and the fact that you are constantly trying to evolve and learn shows how much time & dedication you put into motherhood. I was wondering about the books/podcasts you mentionted and if you could share these? Sending you and your family so much love🥰
Thank you so much! Here are a few of my favorites so far. - Hold On To Your Kids - Gabor Mate - Raising A Secure Child - Kent Hoffman - The Whole-Brain Child - The Conscious Parent - Dr Shefali - Wired for love - Stan Tatkin - What Happened To You? - Hunt, Gather Parent - Safe Infant Sleep - James McKenna - Bringing Up Bebe - The Village Effect
This is one of the many reasons why I chose to be child free. Avg Motherhood in America is ghetto. And now that the Middle class is feeling like it’s basically low income it’s just impossible to not feel even more overwhelmed. You have to be wealthy to raise a child in this country if you want to feel any amount of sanity and good wholesome feelings about raising a child. Sad times!
I'm really sorry to hear that :( I disagree that you need to be wealthy to raise a child in this country, yes it's become more costly over the years and with inflation but I still know plenty of moms with multiple children with minimal household income and they make it happen! They went from going to restaurants every weekend before having kids, and getting their hair and nails professionally done to now dining out only on special occasions and foregoing the expense of false nails and blonde highlights. And if I ask them would they go back if they could to living a more abundant lifestyle they would say no way, the joy they experience from raising their family is far more rewarding than the extra comforts in life. Point being, my message is NOT about deterring people from starting a family but about brining awareness to how we need a cultural/political shift that will support young families.
@@TatianaJames a can of formula costs 50 dollars! Where as before it was 18?! A basic freaking necessity. You have to be wealthy. Or just live a life in pure survival mode and debt. How does one prepare for retirement? They can’t. No amount of giving up nails and hair, or avocado cost will offset these rising costs! And children are NOT retirement plans! That burden should never be placed on a child.
@@TatianaJamesa child is the greatest gift in life and you’re right. As a mother myself, you do whatever you have to do to make it work. If you want it bad enough, you can make anything work. Excuses are just stemmed from people not wanting it bad enough. Because for me, the benefit and joy that I will have for the rest of my life with my children out weigh all the hardships and difficult times in the beginning ❤
You guys are amazing, great.. simply the best in every way!! Thank you for this ❤ we need you!! We need to see young successful couples to be role models to our youth ❤❤
Tatiana, i've always looked up to you but I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS PHASE OF YOU!! I agree with everything you are saying, I had my baby boy in October 2023, and, excuse the word, but I would have lost my shit if I would have returned to work when they were expecting me to which was in February. I am still dealing with postpartum anxiety and depression, and there is no way I would have been able to function at work. They were already asking me if I was going back six weeks after his birth🙄 of course I said no and took baby bonding leave. I am so thankful that my doctor has been great and has extended my leave. I supposedly return in July, but my doctor is saying even by then we may have to extend. Hopefully I get to stay with my son until hes a year old because like you said, and I agree with you, the first year is so important !!!! My other two kids are 17 and 13😅 ( I started all over !) and back then it was also either you return six weeks after or you would take baby bonding leave but you had to go back when they turned three months old, with this one I was told by my docs staff ( excitedly like it was so much better🙄) that now its at 4 months theres so much stigma with postpartum depression / mental health perinatal and postpartum, perhaps this could also be another topic?
Thanks for sharing your experience! It’s so difficult for moms and babies I wish there were better option. What’s this baby bonding leave you are referring to?
@@TatianaJames here in California you get 6 weeks off after the baby's birth, you can then return to work or take baby bonding leave, which is an additional 12 weeks that you can take off altogether or spread the weeks out over the childs first year (must be taken within that first year or its gone), only 8 weeks of those are paid, it used to be 8 weeks of baby bonding leave years ago so I took mine altogether and after those 12 weeks were gone my doctor placed me on a disability leave for postpartum depression, so Ive not had to return to work just yet
Thanks! The latest books I’ve read that have been excellent are: The Conscious Parent, The Whole-Brain Child, Raising A Secure Child, Hold Onto Your Kids and Hubt Gather Parent.
Great conversation you guys! This is what I dislike living in USA. I’m a woman almost 38 and would like to have a child soon but I’m fully emersed in my full time job. In order to survive and eat and pay rent I need my job. Please give pointers how a woman my age working 50 hours a week can build a profitable enough business so I can take care for 1 year of my child. Let’s face it because of my age I only have 4-5 years if that. Would appreciate advise!
This !! Im 31 and I'm single I don't have kids and I've kind of been starting over from a bad relationship and I want to know what I can do to achieve financial freedom by myself❤
Yes it's not easy! I hear you. My first thought is how can we decrease our living expenses without sacrificing too much on our lifestyle? Can it be done by moving to another country? If that's too far of a stretch, what about a more affordable state? That's one instant way to decrease expenses so your money goes further. Second, if you know that your job isn't going to get you to where you want to be AKA your vision for your future, then you need to STOP spending 50 hours a week working in it. You need to have sound hours to dedicate to working on your future, because your job aint it. Figure out how to schedule your online business into your life and then realize that it's the path towards your financial freedom, so take it seriously and do whatever you can to learn as much as you can and figure it out.
America is crazy in that sense. I honestly think for a child it doesn't feel any different to be abandoned into daycare at 1 month old or into orphanage. All they feel is having been left behind. I'm from EU, things are different here. My sister was at home for 6 years with 2 of her kids (goverment allows fully paid leave for 3 years per kid) and she still made it to be a barrister at 35. You don't have to choose one or the other here.
The Us economy grew faster than the European economy but in my opinion fast growth is not always good. Also in the EU I feel much safer. Life expectancy is also way higher in most EU countries. I think being rich is beneficial is certain areas in the US but the middle class or working class gets neglected, which is the backbone of every rich person's wealth or society. I live in an area where a lot of wealthy people from the US move after becoming rich because it's close to a tax advantageous country, which we have in Europe as well. But they prefer life here than in the US. They built their businesses in a capitalistic system that doesn't give back enough to society and with all their money they just move to a safer place because of tax benefits and lifestyle. But then they tend to complain about paying taxes in a more socialistic system. The middle class in the EU pays a lot of taxes to have all those benefits. But at least it gives us a certain degree of safety and it's not such a big deal if you loose your job, so I would say we don't have that kind of anxiety as much as in the US. Also the medical system of the country I live in is better and so I also have zero anxiety when it comes to medical bills.
Great points to ponder! I agree and I think that in North America we should consider who created our value systems with the value of economics being at the top (big corp?) and how we are having to subscribe to it by high cost of living.
Long time no see, but the difference indeed is wether we privilege the group or are we on a track of individualism that becomes more and more negativ and ultimatly we loose our civilisation.
Now imagine raising a child in the middle east where there is war imagine raising a child in a place like India where clean water is not guaranteed Imagine raising a child in the poor parts of south America where you don't know if your child will be safe walking to school. I live in America I am an American I have children my husband and I waited till we were financially stable for us to have children so I can stay at home. I worked at daycares and preschool for 9 years and so SO MANY mothers and/or father choose to work to make more money (even when its not needed) instead of taking care of their children I have family members that I know are very well off yet they still choose to take the child to a daycare and work. This video is bogus Ppl are dying daily please be more aware.
Sure if you’re going to do that comparison you can always say it’s better but that’s not helpful. We’re. Having a discussion of what it’s like for Americans to raise a family in America, we’re not talking about other countries. BTW in no way am I discouraging people from having kids, quite the opposite, I think if people know they would be good parents they should be having as many kids as they can manage.
Absolutely. New mom here, my daughter is 3 months old and I'm an active duty service member. I waited 15 years into my career and I'll tell you right now I'm NOT looking forward to going back to work even though I absolutely loved my career prior to deciding on having a child. Thankfully my mother will be her caretaker so I'm blessed to not have to feel forced to place her into daycare, which is not an ideal place for an infant. (Which of course mothers are not to blame for the need of daycare) I highly recommend and encourage women to listen to this podcast below which cover what was discussed here, in depth. ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-NaOrKKujJBk.htmlsi=lYFfZp9DBy2puPap
Thanks for sharing your experience! I’m glad your mom is able to look after your child, that’s really ideal because your mom is going to give her lots of attention and be a constant in her life.
Hey Tatiana , very good video . I can do better editing in your videos which can help you to get more engagement in your videos . Pls lmk what do you think ?
I REALLY appreciate what you and Stefan have to say regarding the proper upbringing of a child. It is all true and goes without saying...but at the same time Very Idealistic since the breakdown of our system is Not allowing the ideal set up you both have and the past American Generations were privy to. And No Stefan; The So Called Wealth in the US is a thing of the Past and we are currently building UP a Debt to the tune of almost 40 TRILLION which will and is gradually leading to a collapse in our Economy. Yes it IS an American Problem however let's take a look of the social and Economic decline that has happened over the years. First of all the US Economy is NOT doing well at all as in the last 30+ years as the Administrations have given away all our Industry or money making power overseas TO mostly China who owns and controls their children. At the same time, with the 8 year Obama Regime, we are close to becoming a socialistic country AND DEFINITELY NOT CURRENTLY A CAPITALISTIC SOCIETY....As WE ARE TRILLIONS IN DEBT BECAUSE OF ALL THE FREEBIES TO UNWED MOMS AND ILLEGALS WALKING OVER OUR OPEN BORDERS As a 25 year Financial Consultant and American with a Securities License and a Degree in Finance and Economics...I think I am Equipped to adequately express these current American challenges. And the average US Baby Boomer who has worked all their lives is getting very nervous watching this eventual US Economic decline. As far as the US Economy, our Corporations and Family owned Farm Lands that we DO have left are dwindling as we speak... are slowing being bought out or forced to close with the help of overseas money and/or Huge Land Grabs by the likes of China, or multi Billionaires such as Bill Gates, etc... THEREFORE; for a lot of these little girls WHO would normally get married, there is no work for their man or the father of these children...this is not breeding a lot of self esteem in a young man who would like to do the right thing. I won't even get into the money going into the Illegals walking over the border and Given Freebies as No prior generation has ever experienced...This of course is currently and will eventually lead to a destruction/decline of the SO Called CAPITALISTIC ECONOMY and eventually more Social Unrest and will take Many years to turn around, if it Ever will be able to. NOW at the same time we have allowed UNmarried little girls to have multiple babies and financially subsidizing these little girls with lots of money per child from the state and allowing free abortions for whom some use as birth control instead of proper sex education Let alone Proper Discipline in the homes and schools and especially in the homes with NO Man or Father image in sight. It is essentially saying that you do NOT Need a man in your life. Stephan; PLEASE SUPPORT AND STRESS THAT VIEW AS WELL I don't know about Canada, for now the US has father less homes at the rate of; 75% i n the Black Community, 50% of the Hispanic, 25% White and growing. This is Not female empowerment but a breakdown of the family and eventually leads to the break down of the Society. IN CONCLLUSION; BOTH OF YOU REPRESENT A POWER COUPLE THAT CAN INSPIRE A GENERATION OF NOT JUST FINANCIAL FREEDOM BUT PLEASEEEE STRESS THE IMPORTANCE OF BOTH A FATHER AND MOTHER IN THE FAMILY. The power and contribution to a society depends on on how well that we can love our children and teach them RESPECT OF THEIR PARENTS AND OTHERS AND EVENTUALLY TAKE THAT BEHAVIOR AND VALUES INTO SOCIETY. Please continue expressing your lovely and powerful conservative values...you both are making a huge contribution to society. AND IF YOU KNOW ANYONE IN THE US...TELL THEM TO WATCH HOW THEY VOTE!!!!!!!!!
I disagree on her last statement on mother's not being to blame for "having to go to work." These females today are going to college so they can "chase a career" because they think they have to copy what men do in order to be important. Then they have school debt on top of everything else that a couple has in bills. I have four sisters and they ALL have young children and ALL of them are stay at home mothers! If I could find a decent woman in this corrupt society my wife would be a stay at home mother also. People have budget problems! They spend money on crap they don't need like nothing you've ever seen before. That's why her Amazon business did so well because of women spending money like its going out of style! Women don't neeeeeed to work. They choose to. If you don't know where your money is going then you aren't paying attention and you have spending issues. So many people carry a balance on their credit cards and use that as proof that things are too expensive.. well take a look at your interest you pay out in a year and calculate the bills you could've paid with that! I really don't like it when people blame something outside of themselves, always blaming something or someone else. You can blame the government and our economy all you want but who's in office in our state and government buildings? Why are they there? We the people vote. Thats how they get in there and the majority voted them in.
actually no. i never had a choice. no one was going to pay my bills i had to do it myself. where are all these so called masculine men who want to pay for everything. They start crying if they need to pay for a cup of coffee. women don't care about copying men - youre not the special. we just want our bills paid and to survive
Is it not complicated, though? I am not from your country, but I have seen and heard that the general cost of living keeps going higher up (specially housing), and that it gets complicated for a normal earning household to pay for all expenses unless both parents work. I don't know whether this applies everywhere... But I know of some mothers (or friends that want to be mothers) who would love to stay at home with the kids, but they just can't afford it. Maybe you can explain this better firsthand as a citizen?
Your points completely depend on whether a woman marries a man who financially supports her. Saying that women don't need to work or go to college is ridiculous- I am single and get no help from anyone- whether I eat or have a roof over my head is up to me. I haven't found the right person yet and I'm not prepared to settle. I need to work full time and overtime to support myself. I also know multiple women who have been in serious domestic violence relationships/marriages and thank God they had a good education and careers to support themselves so they could get out before they were seriously injured or lost their lives. Cost of living such as car insurance and taxes goes up astronomically every year, so every year we have to work harder to get by. I don't buy myself anything or go on holiday. Your comments are based on ignorant assumptions.
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