The Truth about Introverts - Why I Love Being Alone | The Joys of Slow Living and Introversion 

I’m not that social, but do crave deep, meaningful connections. Especially after a year of pandemic and living in a new area. Love being alone otherwise. Can you make a video about how you approach strangers and spark conversations? I need to make new friends here in the Bay Area. It’s been challenging in current circumstances.

Yes!!! I love your video and it’s 100% me. It’s just tough because I work full time as a teacher, married to a 100% extrovert, and our three year old son is an extrovert. Any tips for me? I’m with humans all day but I just want to read, journal, reflect, and work on personal growth.

I am a social introvert. It is important for me to have some daily alone time and getting outside every day. I do breath work and yoga and meditation every day to start my day. Journaling and painting. We have to spread out social engagement/time with others because too much social stimulation drains me. Too much noise, drains me. For example at home, my husband has the TV on and is watching a video on the phone. He doesn't understand how that is so distracting for me and makes me anxious. He thinks I should just ignore it.

My brother called me a hermit b/c he craves people. Poor dear. lol! My husband of 50 yrs & I are natural *one* people (as I call it). Naturally shy, but I learned thru work & moving a lot as a child, to be able to talk to anyone. Creating energizes us. Quiet refuels us. Nature soothes us. Alone time with God & each other is what we love. Adore you!

@@laurakalinski1286 yikes! Constant background noise would drive me crazy! You might be an HSP ( highly sensitive person) . There are videos and books about it. I hope you can find a way to communicate this to your husband and be more firm about meeting your needs. Best wishes!

totally agree!!

Exactly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

True i an introvert also loves nature more than people around

Never a truer word spoken, I can get more out of life sitting on a park bench watching squirrels and pidgeons, then being in a room full of people at a party.

I agree 100%.

HaHa Absolutely!! Ditto, ditto. I wish we were neighbors. :) We'd pass one another walking our dogs, and either speak, or intuitively understand that today is a quiet day in Nature, or just in thoughts. When I fall into the trap of socializing too much, my connection with Holy Spirit slightly suffers. I sometimes miss having a loving partner, but laying my head on the pillow each night knowing I was true to myself that day, just enriches my connection with Universe/Creator/Higher Spirit, I believe. NAMASTE @VeronicaBoydwash

Veronica Boydwash....I'm 65 years old....I too, love my alone time. I also have a 2 year old puppy, which I love so much!.....I too , can conversate with anyone, but I love my alone time, nature, PRAYER, meditation, ...I do love my spirtuality....My 2 children are grown, and are wonderful adults, parents, etc...I love my time with my 6 grown granddaughters , 11 year old grandson (old soul)....and my 2 great grandchildren...I'm divorced, but not impress about remarrying, lol!....I'm the youngest of 7....4 older siblings deceased....basically a great family, but older ones gone. The rest scattered throughout the country or just busy with their lives...thank God for technology....But I am and have been so blessed!....I so love my solitude, being an Introvert, EMPATH, ....loving nature, animals. ...Being retired these 11 years has been a big blessing....Allowing my gardening, cooking, exercise, decorating, reading, PRAYER, meditating, Maintaining my good health , mind, spirit, happjness, and most importantly PEACE!.....I live a nice, but simple, peaceful, healthy, debtfree, content life.....love knowing other empaths, and introverts are in the world....

Hi Ms Veronica. I am 60, soon to be 61. I so get what you mean. Currently, my husband and I live on several acres of land with no close neighbors. Which I love. A perfect life for introverts. We never have random people stopping by. Our driveway is very long and you can’t see it from the road. So if we are outside, no one knows it. So no interruptions from friendly neighbors. Lol however, due to our age, I am aware of the day soon approaching that we won’t be able to care for this place. So, we are not looking forward to that day. But for now, we do enjoy the solitude and the quietness that is around us. I will say though, that nature can be really noisy at times. So it isn’t always quiet.lol

I’m exactly the same way! I’ve been called an extreme introvert. The worst thing is having an extroverted neighbor that shows up at your house unannounced. Some people just don’t get it.

@@annknower4603 Gotta set boundaries. It's hard. They very well might not understand. But, the alternative is constantly dreading that persistent knock upon the door. Or, in my case, being an outdoor Nature person who feels trapped inside my home, at times. Lovely neighbors! But, they don't understand when someone is out digging around in the dirt, blissfully, planting flowers and humming tunes, it's exactly where they want to be. No drama, please. :)

Ann Knower - I use a, “Shhh! Baby is napping, please don’t knock.” sign on my door to prevent that from happening. Not sure what I’ll do in a few more years when my littlest is too old to nap. 😄

Same here!

It's so true. Such a misconception! We aren't anti-people. I looove people and connecting with others! But it's just not how we obtain our energy. We spend our energy that way - still fun and wonderful though! :)

I have experienced others seeing me as stuck up or they think that I think that I am too good for them. Because I seldom attend their invitation to do what ever they are going to do. And I think now that they think these things about me because I am friendly and social when I am with others. I have never had a problem with making friends. But unlike you, I do not feel the need to travel alone. I would not have the confidence for that. Except just placed near where I live. Like shopping, visiting a park or hiking trail for the day. And sometimes a community festival. My roots run deep and being home is my favorite place to be. Having to leave to go to work is a huge struggle and always has been. I can only tolerate it because my jobs have always been in my little town and I am around the people of my community. Which is the next best thing to home.

@@helenawoods what a wonderful observation and truth - we spend our energy with others ! 🌺👌

so beautiful to hear Andrea!

@@helenawoods "love being alone" - good to hear, now use your alone time wisely and come to the knowledge of truth: BIBLE + FREEMASONRY, searching material which blows one`s mind.

SUCH KINDRED SPIRITS!!

@@helenawoods thank you

You have just described me! If l met you it would go something like this-"Hello new friend l am pleased to meet you, you sound a very interesting person...two minutes later...hope you have a great life l'm away to do read a book".

@@helens403 lol yep!

you literally described me...wow i've always felt pretty bad about the friendship situation as well and only just recently discovered this. it's so easy for me to make friendships but maintaining them is where I fall short all the time. but looking at the bright side, we can always make little tweaks in our behaviors to our comfort levels if we decide to reach out- we can do it in our own way. (w/o having to always meet up etc.)

that's so beautifully said, San

@@helenawoods thank you so much! It's complex and simple ate the same time. Our hapiness should and cannot never depend on others rather than on ourselves.

'Missing myself'- love this!

What a wonderful wonderful vlog. Thank you for this.

Missing yourself…that's an interesting concept.

I am a few years older than you and I think when we grew up, at least for me, the school system and then the workplace was always trying to fix us, draw us out, make us contribute more to discussions, force us to work in groups. I have always found this extremely exhausting and suffered anxiety/panic disorder for years because of it. Lucky that young people today are recognizing what and who they are and that they are valuable and have a contribution to make. Maybe this will finally be our time introverts, going forward......

So agree..I'm 49 and for so many years I tried to change my natural desire to do things solo and in quiet places .Now I don't fight it and accept it..I am introverted ,a loner and that's ok,I'm not lonely.

The way I see it, an extrovert person is more desirable and likable by the society bc that person is more approachable. They come off as more friendly, talkative, and more bubbly the moment you meet them whereas an introvert is more quite and more reserved. It takes more time to get to know an introvert. I am one by the way and I am the very last person that get invited to a get together party bc I don't have a fun personality that my new friends or I should say acquaintances have.

@@debbietodd8547 You've just described my experience. Even workplace bosses while I was at the top of my career, doing extremely well, and people who truly loved me would still try to fix me. 'I wish you acted the way you do when we're alone, all the time.' Or vice-versa, 'Why can't you be as energetic, at home, as at work or out in public?'; 'Why can't you be more social?' 'Why don't you participate, more.. it makes you seem uncommitted', 'You need to be more fun and flirtatious with your customers!' Aaargh!! I was the #4 pharmaceutical representative in the entire country, for a top global company when these words were stated to me. I was down-sized 3 months later despite my success. They said...'if you can do this well doing it your way, just imagine how much better you would have done, doing it our way'. What a blow! The pressure to be a bubbly extrovert is immense. I was constantly being administered the watered down workplace version of a Meyers-Briggs personality inventory, as were we all. When my result was so different than colleagues, the whole room would then judge me. I finally asked a manager why I got such weird treatment after these tests. He said because we are trained that we would never see this profile in a successful sales representative. And, that the going joke was this: 'people with my profile are only seen in top management, like CEO positions, or either they're serial killers'. ? Talk about widespread lack of understanding and workplace discrimination! But, we don't talk about this kind of discrimination. Although it's very real!! I'm sure so many of you have lived similar circumstances. And, it's not only draining, it can be truly damaging. As you stated, panic attacks became my reality, over time, dreading walking out the door into that dog eat dog world each day.. then cancer. One doctor I've spoken to, who practices in Russia and specializes in helping people prevent cancer, by detoxifying their subconscious mind of so much negativity and toxicity... he believes, and has written several books on the topic, that cancer is wholly, or in part, triggered by negative trauma in our lives. He said it's usually one catastrophic event, but when I described to him the long term, constant daily deluge of being required to live up to an unreachable standard, plus despite my success, doing it my own natural way, still not being good enough, he got it. Then, after long work day, going home to someone who also requires extroversion. Frequent anti-social comments, and 'are you sick?' or 'what's wrong with you?' or 'you must be depressed' just because I prefer to spend my free time listening to Music, and on quiet hobbies. I sincerely hope the next generation never has to suffer this. Videos like these are SO important and should hopefully, eventually, make it into schools and workplace environments, just like anti-bullying campaigns, etc. Introverts are valid! We're just outnumbered. Thank you so much for bringing this topic to light @SimpleJoys. Thank you!! THANK YOU!

@@lovingsunshine3515 When you find those friends who get you, either through tolerance of diversity or sharing introverted tendencies, it will be magical. :) Took me forever, but finally through some strange work of wonder, I was introduced to a small group of folks who just appreciate one another. No judgement. Introverts & extroverts, alike. Without judgement, plus being a more relaxed group, attract other introverts. I'd never really met any before, so it's been great. We don't feel need to spend every single weekend together, or talk on phone all throughout the day to maintain connections, but we truly love one another, and aren't afraid to express it, once realization hits, it's a safe space. We just get one other. Or, if we don't, we still embrace it. Life is better in it's diversity! It's very refreshing. I sincerely hope you find this in your life. It's hard. I shutter to think if I hadn't met this non-judgemental tribe of beings, I'd still be out their trying to make it in what felt like a rat race to me. Or I'd be where I was when I finally met them... hibernating long periods of time, dreading having to socialize, then drinking to many cocktails just to endure such highly stimulating social environments. 'Friends' making fun of me because all I wanted to do when not working, was yard work & gardening. It was quiet therapy that even extroverts could somewhat understand. Until they didn't. I was unapologetic about it, but still allowed it to stop me from getting out for hikes which I'd always loved. My hiking friends were all very social & wanted to party a lot. Nothing wrong with that, just not my preference. I kind of checked out for a time. Kept saying I would get a large hiking dog for protection on remote hiking trails, but instead allowed people to convince me it would still be unsafe, and 'anyway, that's just weird to go alone.' My hibernation period was blissful but could have become unhealthy in it's lack of balance, plus I missed those deeper connections. I had left my un-understanding partner by then, so these friendships somewhat saved me from a life of hermiting (nothing wrong with that, either, I just need deeper connection & conversation) Perhaps you could find, or start, an online chat group? Or, what worked for me was finding one individual who could plainly see that I had so much in common with this wonderful tribe. He asked me on a date, then introduced me to this group. Sadly, he turned out to be too much like my ex, but what I gained from the experience was a lifelong group of friends who seem to get me. This is now my bliss. :) Long hours painting & reading & writing with no pressure, from others, to sell what I create. Occasional, amazing 'play dates' with other adults who embrace their deeper self and the wonderful diversity of others. I hope you find this, IF you choose. ...Returning your @LovingSunshine. NAMASTE (big time)

I have 2 friends. That's it. They're not introverts, strangely enough. We all just sort of get each other.

Yep I’m exactly the same - slightly dreading the expectations of friends again when we are allowed to meet up - longing to see them, but just for a couple of hours - not a full on weekend 😱

@@littlemisssparkle1 just be honest and say NO... THERE'S NO SHAM IN THAT ... I'M OLDER NOW AND IT'S TOOK ME A LONG TIME TO BE ABLE TO SAY "" SORRY BUT I'M NOT FEELING LIKE DOING THAT TODAY I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND '' 'they either get it or not if not I'm afraid that is their problem... I don't have anyone stay any more nooooo 😱stay safe ❤️🙏🏼❤️

@Pete Muller yes we are but in that we are also SPECIAL ☀️

@Pete Muller Yes, we are. And, it's beautiful!

West Midlands here 🙋🏻‍♀️ and couldn’t agree more.This life in the uk at the moment ( apart from not being allowed to work) actually suits me better

the covid lockdown was one of the best periods of my life....

Yes!! In so many years of being judged for not being just like everyone else, I've always maintained that #1 the world would be so boring if everyone were just the same, and #2 perhaps the other kind should try it our way, upon occasion. Because, it's truly WONDERful! Namaste, @April c

@@Tiffany-bk4kz So true. They might end up seeing a new side of this beautiful earth. 😍

Agreed! I am extrovert before when I was younger but now I am enjoying being introvert. I dont like to be in a big groups and I like spending more time to myself like reading books, gardening, cleaning the house, and always longing for nature walk. I love the sound of the wave and humming birds, I was so lucky that I am living in an island. I hope everyone here is safe! takecare

This captures so much of me - I never ever get lonely and good heavens - how would someone ever get bored in this amazing beautiful world? I will never get to all of the books, meditation and craft I want to do?? I love being alone - just revel in it. I love being out in nature or watching birds of watching an old movie or cooking a yummy meal or transplanting a flower

Tesla referenced human energy 🌬👻jesus christ referenced living waters 💎👩‍🎓👨‍🎓science described water memory 👨‍🎨👩‍🎨existence reflecting psychologically, psalms16:24 k,j proverbs 27:19👻💎👩‍🎓👨‍🎓💖🗽🤍🧮⚖🌪☄🌬🌊

ooooh great book recc - thank you Jill! I'll check it out

Hi Jill, may I ask from which writer the introvert advantage is? I seem to find several books/writers with this title. 😁

so glad to hear it Sandy!! :)

once a week is fabulous!

Same feeling 🌅🌅🌅🌅 dearest friend take a look at my mystical dance funny joyful luxurious videos 🥰🥰🥰🥰 Much love from South of Italy 🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

oh it's so true Alina! I think being quarantined at home has been a bit easier for introverts overall. It's still hard for everyone - I have my days where I feel intense cabin fever and miss making plans with others. But overall its' been a lot easier for me than I would've thought

I can relate to that :) blessings

me too

Agree...

Alina ♥︎ As always, you are finding the perfect words 😊 I am feeling the same 😊

That's such a great idea. At parties, I always find myself a safe spot. Great when there is a balcony or terrace. But, when all else fails, the ladies room. haha Growing up, I was always accused of being in there primping too much. Gaudy 80's lent itself to such assumptions. When I eventually embraced my own natural looks, and it's obvious I'm not into primping, at all, they just think I'm either ill or on the phone. haha I'm actually just taking a neccessary break in there. If I ever throw a party again, will definitely remember you @papermason. There will definitely be a quiet spot for the introverts. Thanks for the innovative tip. I love it!

I developed horrible migraines when I was mother of the bride and then groom. I love my family and friends, but there can be too many at once! And the mother has to look good! Positively exhausting!

@@Tiffany-bk4kz Thanks Tiffany, the very worst kind of party for me are showers, where you have to stick things on your head, or look at a diaper filled with melted chocolate, (Thanks a lot Duggers!) etc. Party games are torture. Why do showers always have to be so undignified?! So yes, for the sake of introverts, that safe space would be great.

@@cherylwebb8340 OH, I can only imagine and commiserate. My Mom had to be mother of the groom many times, and she despised it. I guess I know where I get it from. Even though it's family, it's an art to keep everyone partying, even if they're a happy, social bunch. My brother's wedding had almost 300 people and I didn't know more than maybe 20 out of the whole lot. My family sat together at a table in a far corner in the back of a very large room at a conference centre. My brother kept coming back to our table, then other people starting coming to the back where we were, looking kind of glazed over. A friend of mine got married in her apartment kitchen with 2 witnesses and the officiant, everyone else had to zoom. My kind of wedding!!!!

yes! brainwashed - absolutely!

So true!!!

Yes! We feel drained from that stimulation! so nice to connect with you Alisa :)

yesss

Same feeling darling 🤍 friend 🌈💗♥️ please take a look at my mystical dance funny joyful luxurious videos 🥰🌈🌈🌈 Much love and appreciation from South of Italy 🌹🌹💚💗

I can soooo relate to this❤️

oh gosh totally can relate to this Mary. I remember as a teenager, I would go to movies or to cafes alone sometimes - just because I've always loved doing those things alone sometimes! - and I would run into people from high school who would feel soooo bad for me! and treat me as if I didn't have any friends or that I was lonely! Could not be farther from the truth. It's silly! I'm so inspired and passionate about sharing the messages of cultivating compassion, acceptance and non-judgement in my videos....the world needs it.

@@helenawoods Thank you for your kind words. Your videos are a joy to those of us who enjoy our simple lives.♥️

aw thank you Christine!!! :) Kindred spirits

Ahh thank you Else

Tesla referenced human energy 🌬👻jesus christ referenced living waters 💎👩‍🎓👨‍🎓science described water memory 🌊👨‍🎨👩‍🎨existence reflecting psychologically, psalms16:24 k,j proverbs 27;19👻💎👩‍🎓👨‍🎓💖🗽🤍🧮⚖🌪☄🌬

Same 🌅🌈🌈🌈🌈 please dear friend take care and have a look at my mystical dance funny joyful luxurious videos 💗🌈🇮🇹💞💖🌈🌈🌈🌈 Much love from South of Italy

Same! Took me 30 years to realise I was an introvert! Now 37 and the thought of gong to a party filled with random strangers gives me anxiety. I wasted a lot of years trying to be outgoing and attempting to ‘fit in’ with everybody else and constantly seeking validation from other people.

aw I'm so glad to bring you good vibes Dee :)

Thank you! 😊

That's so wonderful that you found that joy and inner peace in being alone Verena

Tesla referenced human energy 🌬👻jesus christ referenced living waters 💎👩‍🎓👨‍🎓science described water memory 🌊👩‍🎨👨‍🎨existence reflecting psychologically, psalms16:24 k,j proverbs 27:19👻💎👩‍🎓👨‍🎓💖🗽🤍🧮⚖🌪☄🌬

awww!!! What a beautiful cat analogy! we speak the same language Kathy

So true! I love it. Friends who truly know me have often said I'm a cat person living a dog life. I just say I'm me. Loving all animals. Your analogy is spot on, though, I believe.

I've always thought this too. Also I've noticed out of the people I know most introverts have cats and the extroverts have dogs. Not all, but alot.

Oh I love and relate so much to this Kat!

I agree about the labels. It’s a way for us to make sense of who we are. I am such a mixed bag of introvert/ extrovert that even I can’t pin down exactly what I would define myself as. So I have learned to just go with it. I can talk to virtual strangers but I enjoy and recharge in my alone time. I like being alone but I don’t like feeling lonely. My relationship with my Creator really helps in those times when loneliness hits. I know I am never truly alone which helps ground me and provides that foundation from which I can connect with people. I have a lot of acquaintances but only 2 really deep friendships and that seems to satisfy me. I am not married but not opposed to being married. I find it curious that in marriage this dynamic of “being an introvert” exists as marriage has always seemed to me to be a life of compromise -of laying down your life for your spouse and also that opposites attract. To have two introverts in a marriage and that it can be successful is a revelation to me. As a single I need human connection but I don’t need to constantly surround myself with people. I am empathetic by nature and have a deep need to contribute to the betterment of society but I get easily drained by people making too many demands on me. So there you go- I am a big jumbled bag of seemingly contradictory approaches. Accepting this is me is contentment and constantly realizing I am always growing and changing is strangely enough contentment as well.

ah yes

ahhh yes Michelle, gosh I would be so irritated too!! I used to be a theatre kid and I remember when I was 18 or 19, an acting teacher told me very arrogantly and assuredly that I was a young soul and that I haven't lived a long time. And I was so turned off by that comment LOL! xD Making assumptions about people we don't really know deep down is such a big pet peeve of mine, because when we judge and assume things about people we don't know, there's often an absence of compassion and unity. I am constantly always reminding myself not to judge people on first glance, because I have no idea what's going on within them. It's natural, easy to do and the lazy route to take - but yeah, it's annoying when people assume you wouldn't want to do or try something just because you appear a certain way on the outside. :) Sorry that you experienced that! And also what beautiful life lessons in acceptance, tolerance and humility we can learn from these interactions!

Simple Joys I agree! It’s probably extra irritating if it’s something that’s important to us or that we take pride in! And boy, did I hate being talked down to because of my age, as well, haha. That’s getting better, I also try to not assume someone’s having bad intentions! And if they do, it’s on them. You’re right, it’s good to learn something from every encounter. :)

Yes it's definitely an extroverts world

@@MissM025x so beautifully said!

heck yes!! I feel ya!