I'm in third year and still haven't found the friendship group. I feel like if my first year of uni wasn't online, I would've found that tight-knit friendship group. I also found ACS was kinda clique-ish too. If you don't fit in, you are basically ignored. Great advice from this video though!!!
Heyy, honestly same😭 it wasn’t until year 3 where I started to come out of my shell more and meet new people, bc we weren’t online anymore. Some societies can be cliquey, but with time you’ll find your people I promise 💕
I feel so utterly alone and it’s the worst feeling ever. It’s making me feel like there’s something like wrong with me. I know no one and I’m suffering from severe depression and anxiety which is also preventing me from going up talking to random people. Even me wanting to join societies is crippling me because of the fear of going alone and not finding what I expect there. It’s just so fruitless,everything feels so empty and nothing comes of anything. Like I’ve exchanged Snapchat’s and instas with a few and nothing has come of it and I feel like I’m the only one. It’s fr making me wanna drop out because the isolation hurts a lot and I should be enjoying my first year but I hate it.
Aw bless you 🥺 this is exactly how I felt, like you want to join societies and meet people but going on your own is terrifying. I went to a feminist society event one time and every there just ignored me 🥴 I totally get the feeling I promise it gets better, it wasn’t until year 3 that I really started to make proper friends. I’m planning to make a longer part 2 version of this video. But if you ever need someone to talk to feel free to message me on Insta 🙏🏽 you’re not alone 🥺
İmprove yourself dont care about people dont be clingy or dont talk to everyone unless your energies really match and just focus on you, love yourself and put yourself out there even its scary or make you feel bad, cause you will see its not that bad and you will move on and wont care about anyone that dont even know you, only you know you, you have to love yourself and level up in the areas you didnt have a chance to
i’m in first year and i feel so utterly alone and isolated. i went into uni thinking it’ll be so much fun and i’ll make so many friends yet i have a “friend group” that only reaches out to each other to ask about coursework. my flatmates and i are not close at all and lowkey hostile with one another. i’ve spoken to some people in my seminar and we’re friendly with each other/ always saying hi and smiling but god forbid anyone sits next to me! like they’d rather sit alone than with me. i barely go out and often end up rotting away in my room. i don’t know what’s wrong with me and i don’t know what to do. everyone’s idea of fun is going clubbing and getting absolutely hammered and it’s really not for me.
that part about sitting people rather sitting alone really hits home 🥲 i feel like what you describe is actually the most common uni experience, not the massive friend groups that people make it out to be :((
Maybe do the things YOU consider fun, go to the library by yourself, or to a part, if you play a sport go there and watch people play and join in if you can. Putting yourself in spaces you enjoy gives you the opportunity to meet people who already share a few hobbies with you. It could start off by running into them a few times, and then intentionally planning to meet up, but in and out of the shared hobby. It helps if you wear something cool or wear your hair in a new style...or carry something that only people with that niche interest can identify with...these are pretty cool conversation starters. Overall, enjoy your time alone. It's depressing sometimes too cl, I don't have any friends either, but it's peaceful to do things by yourself too. Large friend groups are overrated anyways 💕
I'm in second year and even though I kind of have a friend group I feel like they don't talk to me as much and we don't do things. I've been feeling extremely lonely and bad. Comparing myself to other people and thinking I don't have "enough" friends, just like you said. Thank you for sharing your experience and letting people know they are not alone. Because that kind of lonely feeling makes you feel like an alien or even a weirdo... it sucks
You’re absolutely not alone 🥹 It’s the worst when you’re in a limbo, you *kinda* have friends but you’re not actually that close to them. You just feel a bit like an outsider, planning to make more vids like this once my exams are over, but I’m so glad you found this helpful Mina ✨💘
Uni is lonely but you have to have an open mind to try things with different people. Even try making friends with people not in your course is so great !! Well done for touching on this topic
im glad i found this video! im ending my second year and its starting to feel like every connection, every friendship I’ve made so far is falling apart.. so its been kinda hard. i needed this boost and to know that we’re not alone, its good to be reminded of that. so thank you. :) best wishes to everyone!
So glad this video found you at the right time! 💖I need to make another one bc friendships at this age can be a total whirlwind and I know we’re not the only ones who struggle with this!
4:00 - 4:50 THIS TO A T!!!! We seriously aren't alone and the grass definitely isn't greener on the other side. I wasn't even a part of these superficial friend groups and right from the get go I knew there was drama bubbling underneath the surface and turns out, there was! Please don't get caught up in the fake perception everyone.
Its my first week and i already hate it because everyone has their own friends already?? Like i tried talking to the girl next to me but she literally ignored me and talked to her friend next to her.
Bless you 🥺🥺ppl can be like that sometimes, honestly you’ve dodged a bullet🙏🏽 you don’t wanna be friends with people like that who ignore you and pretend like you’re not there 😩
Thank God I am not the only one who has been affected by such problem during my first term! But the worst thing is that now I am ending my 2-nd year and nothing has changed: I am totally ignored by people I find at conferences etc. That sticks me to people I already know and limits my social interactions, leading to doubt whether I am a good communicator...
i'm literally at my lowest point now, people that i have called "friends" are now being ingenuine and it made me realize how alone i actually am in my uni. no one really reaches out to me and making new friends at this point is hard. it doesn't help that i have anxiety and depression. the only good thing is i am graduting soon so once uni is over i won't have to feel upset about friendships.
if it makes you feel better, my "mates" made up this disgusting assumption about me and have left me out now for months. very awkward. was meant to go to a festival with them over 300 quid i probably wont go now... so lost money and im meant to be moivng in with them already signed a contract so im in a difficult situation. one of my coursemates shes doesnt like me over a lad i dont care about. so basically i have no friends too.
I thought I found friends in uni but some were fake, others didn’t bother making an effort post-uni. It’s unfortunate. I’ve been out of uni for (a lot! of) years now and ultimately couldn’t sustain one-sided relationships. One thing I would do differently, as you mentioned, was have different pockets of friends and not try and bring them together 😂
Glad you could relate on this one! I really want people to know they're not alone and a lot of us struggle with this! I's not worth sustaining friendships that don't reciprocate, I'm glad you've cut those people off :)
I like your videos - they are very honest and sincere. I wish I had more insight when I was your age. Making friends is always very difficult for me - more so for sustaining friendship. Wish I knew this was normal when I was your age. Anyway, now that I am older I have a few friends who are close to me - grand total of maybe 3 , but the numbers don’t matter anymore ….
Thank you so much for this video! You really made me feel better about my experience at uni… I could relate to so much of what you’ve said! And you’re right! I do you have to shift the focus to myself.
It’s my first year studying in Nottingham. I know that sounds weird and I don’t want to sound rude but since I am Asian, I feel more comfortable hanging out with them a bit more but recently my view has changed. I wanted to hang out with whoever I want to. But the problem is when I don’t smile, I look like I am angry and I think everyone’s afraid of it. In classes, I don’t have friends and it’s intimidating to go to class on your own without putting pressure on yourself because my course always requires group work(it’s a language course). I feel like I don’t fit in as I am the only Asian. But I do have friends from societies but they cannot help me that much as we won’t see each other often… certainly can meet their friends but still might be in their year or whatsoever… I am lacking friends from the same year that’s the problem. When I was in high school, it was the opposite as I knew a lot of people from my classes. I can concentrate when I am studying alone but not in the class unless I have a friend and that will make my life whole lot better. When there’s too many people I cannot talk freely and I feel like I am a bit reserved on people. It takes a long time for me to get close and comfortable with the person I am talking to. I have no clue what I should do….
Don't feel bad about only wanting to hang out with other asians, that's totally normal. I know a lot of people who only socialise in bengali society/ACS/Isoc. I've noticed people are a lot more open to meeting new people once they're in year 2/3, for some reason everyone in year 1 is so fixed in their friendships 😭 You're not alone, I really hope things will get better it took me until 3rd year to find my group of people 💞
It was "THE" video I've been looking for!!! AAAA It was so good o know that Iam not the only one to join socities late n alone n allll!!!! I could relate to every single thing you've gone through!!!! Love from Pakistan!!
great advice glad I came across this, I'm in first year and in London so its defo even harder without a campus, I've ended up applying for a transfer lol bc my uni Is boring af :)
As an autistic extrovert who has just finished his first year, this video hit me like a roaring freight train in the relatability department. Despite being told that i have a naturally sociable, charismatic and likeable energy, i struggle with taking any conversations i have with people further. Literal processing of the social cues traps me in a catch-22 of struggling to read if people i communicate with want to be friends and knowing i could just ask them to spend time together but worrying that im forcing things. That being said i have formed two good, close and meaningful bonds with both my coursemate and future housemate who i met on the housing boards. Im sure that if i stay proactive in meeting people that i'll eventually form more of the bonds that i seek, with people who see appeal in the literal aspect of my personality. First year is difficult, but it's not the end, and neurotypical people in your position as well as fellow extroverted neurodivergents will see a lot of appeal in what i have to offer. I've made it my mission to find them. P.S: To any soon-to-be first years about to apply and make their first steps into the world of higher education, listen to my advice. Do not under any circumstances go for a flat classed as "quiet living/low alcohol", you more than likely be matched with overly introverted, boringly studious housemates who will waste all their spare time in their rooms studying rather than socialising. My former flatmates didn't even want to do something as chill and relaxed as having a meal together. Not my vibe at all, and a death sentence to having a great, fulfilling uni social life that makes close friendships, truly. Rantdumping your video was a sobering watch and gives me hope for the future in a much needed moment of time. That being said it fills me with immense pride that i have shown more character than two flats' worth of people (the devils that my coursemate and future housemate had to call flatmates) and gave someone who was just about done with uni something to live and stay for. Will give me something to smile about looking back on year 1.
I'm glad you've got 2 meaningful connections at least, I always believe quality > quantity matters with friendships. Thanks for the advice too, I never knew 'quiet/low alcohol' flats could be like that 😢
I know this is was posted a year ago, but you’ve summarized how I feel right now. I’m an junior and haven’t found my friend group yet, and it’s so isolating. I basically spent the last two years as hermit and now I’m beginning to come out of my shell, and still haven’t found any found. I tried being with my school’s ACS group and it feels kind of cliquey so idk. And I’m so sad and lonely, trying to get through the last two years of college, 😢it’s rough!
honestly hang in there 🥺 it's rough at first but i promise it gets better, i had to work a lot on my confidence, coming out of my shell and not being afraid to say hi to people. i got better over time and now i feel like it's a lot easier, i might make another video about it one day ☁️
I ve been 6 years in medschool, but i ve faild 3 of those years So it's the 3rd time that i have to make friends again with completely new people The problem is that it was not so difficult the first two times because we were all in 1st year Then the 3rd time i got lucky and found a friend group for the classes And now this year it's really difficult, because i only have some courses since i ve already succeeded most of them. So i m not often in class and when i m there, i see all the people already having friends group and nobody trying to come to me And i ve become tired of going forward to speak with others so i m staying alone for now... it's pretty depressing Gladly i have a boyfriend outside of the school, so i m not fully alone Also what i ve tend to experiment is that those friends i made were pretty much always only dchool friends, they never texted me outside of school almost never invited me for stuff and hang out... which is kinda sad I d like to also have that sort of friendship.
Speaking of weird encounters, sometimes you can get verbally pranked by people taking advantage of your desire for friendship. I was once asked "so are you into road biking?" "Omg ya actually! I don't get out as often as I would like to though". "I'm actually really against road biking." facepalm.
i made a boatload of friends in my first semester because we were initially put in dormitories but then when we got separate rooms , everyone got scattered and now I am sitting alone in my room feeling utterly empty and hollow , trying to focus on my work but wondering where it all has disappeared, where did they go ?
Made friends then fell out with one and the one influenced the other cus I got distant due to things being heavy on my mind. So I’ll leave lecture straight after turns out they already detached or ended friendship when there was invested energy🤷♀️sigh idk I feel like it’s a waste of energy when it comes to uni friends as you’re just meeting them. I keep the rest at arms length too many bad weird experiences with ppl at university
honestly its better to have no friends than the wrong friends, i promise, i think people get more mature once they leave uni/get older. people tend to be more immature at the start
How to get to heaven❤️: We've all sinned and if God gave us justice we would end up in hell but we have a way to escape this punishment because of what Jesus did on the cross: 1- Believe that Jesus is God who died on the cross for our sins and rose again 2-Know that you are a sinner in need of a saviour and can't get to heaven by doing good or by any religious works 3- Turn from sin and obey God out of love for God and truly love everyone (reading the Bible will help a lot)
