loneliness at uni is very real 

I’ve felt like there was something wrong with me for not being able to make close uni friends. It has been so so helpful knowing that others have experienced this too because it’s really not spoken about. The loneliness is so crippling and my mental health was at an all time low during uni. I’m starting my masters in a new course next year and I really hope things will be better❤️ Thank you for speaking about this I really needed to hear it

During the first day of uni I was very open and friendly to meet new people. I tried multiple times to invite them out for lunch but all of them said no. Some even pretended to be invested in this friendship but ended up ghosting me for no reason in the next semester. Some approached me to get assignment answers from me. When I needed help they couldn't do the same. I just stop making an effort to make friends, it's just too draining even though I feel lonely sometimes...

thank you so much for this. I'm halfway through my first year and feeling insecure/stressed about not having close friendships. its really hard!

This resonated with everything I've felt - I'm in my final semester of first year. Ive joined societies and even tried to strike conversations in class, but I can't help but feel iced out. Like I'll initiate something and sometimes get no response. Also maybe because I am an international student there's a divide between me and local students, but even with international students there are already cliques formed so I feel very out of place. I am mostly comfortable with my own company but it gets overwhelming like late nights I be crying sometimes, which sucks. Tbf I think it's just so far in the year no one's really open to making new friends as much but I'm still trying so I don't get to a point of no return. Loved the video btw definitely subscribed 💕

If you do choose to have some friends it's very important to choose your friends wisely and be careful who you trust and tell your problems to because everyone who smiles at you is not your friend

You say to get more friends through mutual friends, this might be a dumb question but how do you get that first friend 😭😭

I love this video so much. First year flies and I’m already going into my 2nd in September. I’ve had lovely flatmates but for some reason we’ve never hung out one on one which is fine, but I’ve realised that if I’m not going out clubbing, I’m at home, bored. Accomodation rooms are so tiny as well so it makes it x10 worse. I look at my friends stories with their other friends & it makes me sad to see them having fun cooking dinners together & I’ve not had that opportunity yet.

During my time at community college, I formed some great friendships. However, after we graduated with our associate degrees, life took us in different directions. Some got married or pursued new opportunities, while others transferred to larger universities for their bachelor's degrees. We still catch up on social media now and then, but it's not quite the same. Then, at the university I attended, which was quite small, I found myself among a much older crowd, making it challenging to connect with peers. I even tried joining a club, but it wasn't very active. Despite graduating with a 4.0 GPA, the loneliness I experienced in college was the toughest part for me, and the reason I despised my time in college so much. It was so intense that there were nights I found myself in tears, overwhelmed by the feeling of isolation.

PARAGRAPH COMMENT ALERT! This video was one of the most validating ones I've watched, and I can attest to most of the things you've spoken about, plus or minus some things - I'm a 3rd year this year and I think I've reached my lowest point this year in this sphere but I've grown a lot since then, and I have to say in many ways this has been 1 of my best years in so many ways, thank God. I've increasingly felt like an outsider for a long time owing to my background, lifestyle, and admittedly the fact that I am pretty weird lol - Also I reckon owing to Covid and other factors I think I'm 2 years behind in terms of social development and I feel this is really my 1st year socially speaking - Ive made countless social mistakes and I can certainly say that loneliness can be a self perpetuating cycle (I realised this year that I had adopted some behaviours that would characteristic of social anxiety as a response to unfortunate social experiences) but I feel like I'm much more aware now and Ive actively started seeking out people that accept me for who I am and are interested in spending time together, and it certainly takes work and planning (you have to actively seek out people you've met that you have mutual respect with and ask them to spend time with you), and having enough respect for yourself to accept what is acceptable/unacceptable to yourself in terms of who you would call a friend - It's not easy to do and Im not where I want to be yet but Ive found 1. trying to challenge your faulty self evaluation (which gets even worse when you feel lonely as you tend to percieve your own actions as worse and other people's actions as rejection rather than acknowledging that there are many external reasons a person may act negatively towards you eg. they're hungry or they've had a difficult day etc.) 2. Remembering that unless a person is interested in you, which is a good sign, most people don't really care about the social mistakes you make, assuming you apologise for any wrongdoing. As far as social relationships go, I think the saying that "the opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference" truly applies 3. Knowing that even if you are socially rejected, the horrible feeling that comes with that is to try and encourage you to find human connection, and you can and will survive it 4. Valuing HONEST, genuine connection over being nice/agreeable is absolutely paramount - it's hard, but politely/respectfully/humbly expressing your feelings and thoughts (the bad as well as the good) to people you feel safe doing so with (and to be honest Im starting to think I should do this with people I don't feel safe with, within reason) may lead to rejection in the short term but in the long term, the people you do form a relationship with will like you for who you are rather than trying to maintain a persona just to be accepted which is exhausting and wont lead to genuine connection even if you do maintain it, of all the lovely people I feel close with, the common factor with all of them is I have told them honestly about myself and I have been honoured by them being honest with me - Thank you again for this video, I'll get off my soapbox now 😅

Wow i am actually so happy to have found this video and seeing all the comments. This is exactly how i feel and knowing that i am not alone is really comforting. I have always heard that human beings are social creatures but i always had some close friends and i enjoyed my own company and it really didn’t hit me until this year(which is my 2nd year ). I really never thought i would feel like this. Uni is already stressful and not having close friends to go through this with really sucks.

so more of this pls. this video helped me to cope with the loneliness

It feels relieving a bit that other people are in the same boat. I'm in a similar situation to your freshers year (I'm also in medschool), lonely and depressed to the point that I started myself taking anti-depressants 2 weeks ago. It's winter break, our large single semester exam is on Jan 12th (can you imagine, a whole semester worth of material being tested in one exam pass or fail), and I'm so behind on many fronts to review. This mixed with loneliness is just the hardest time of my life so far. I came into uni with wayyyyyy too high expectations, which you mentioned, the "college experience" of meeting lots of friends, going out. So far I've only done smth outside of uni only twice this whoole semester. I know quite a few people, but like you said, everyone's doing their own thing, being busy, not even living in the same town as the uni so making plans is just even harder. Plus we have the option of looking at lectures live per zoom so towards the end of the semester, less and less people where coming to the point that only 30/200 ppl attend the lecture. I already struggled with anxiety and depression before uni, so this is just so much harder. But you're right about the mindset, I'm learning to accept myself and take it easy. It's just sad that it ended up this way. Idk if I could've made the freshman experience more enjoyable. It feels like my fault, but it's not, but also yes. Anyways I just relate a lot and will make an effort to meet people whilst keeping expectations low and knowing my value.

This was so comforting to watch, thank you! I already relate to a lot of it and I don’t even start med school until September (potentially Newcastle too although I’m not sure yet). But you’re right about the mindset shift, this is what I’ve also learned myself. Those negative thought patterns can get very dangerous very quickly. I’m glad to hear you’re now having a much better time than you were though, that gives me hope :) Btw I’d love to watch more videos from you about the things they don’t tell you about uni

This video is so comforting. I've just finished first year and I commute to university so it's difficult to make friends, aswell as having anxiety which doesn't help either. I've been trying to fill my spare time up with lots of roles like photojournalist and peer guide- anything I can get my hands on to distract myself from feeling lonely because I just don't feel like I have anyone to turn to at university. I often just keep thinking nobody really cares if I'm there or not? I sometimes have this stupid mindset where I think I'm literally not in the same room as other people and I'm just an outsider that no one can see, just spectating other people's lives and I guess sorta- tryna live vicariously through them? I just don't have a social life lol. People are okay, some are awkward with me, but the majority don't want anything to do with me. I thought I was making a friend at one point but then she just kept making excuses not to be around me everytime she saw me so I let that go. Being alone and feeling lonely are two different things, yet feeling lonely really crushes me the most.

i love you so much thank you 😘

Saw your tiktok and came over to watch the full video!! Your tiktok really resonated with me and I’m honestly glad to hear that I’m not alone in feeling this way

Thank you for this, feeling this right now honestly. My mh has defo suffered A LOT. So helpful to know that others feel the same. I’ve subscribed! x

Hello ! I really liked your video! I relate to some extent. Especially the part about « being excited about the bare minimum » omg it’s so relatable !!!! Sometimes even a little « and you » is enough to want u to become friend with that person but that’s just bare minimum!

I really like this video because it is so relatable. I've experienced a lot of the things you're talking about, and I'm just at the end of my 1st year. Things do get better as you said though, and I'm feeling more positive than ever. I was surprised when you mentioned Middlesbrough as that is where I am actually it's so crap here lmaoo Great video! :D

This video resonated with me so much, I’m American but I feel like a lot of the issues you talked about here also apply to college experience in America. I really wish there was some way to make it easier students who are struggling to reach out and find other students who are struggling socially because I feel like a lot of us might be pretty compatible with each other.

100% agree with everything you said in this video and not many people talk about it enough. i’m in first year going into second year, got unlucky and didn’t have the best flatmates or many people in my course. Also had to work 2 jobs to afford my rent too 😭 so found it hard to have a balance - but it is what it is. my only advice to anyone would be to PRIORITISE your mental health bc it is gonna be hard, try and surround yourself with good people even if you don’t have many friends and keep going for you !!

I love how honest this video was. I think it had a lot of good advice in it

and so true that people aren’t as friendly as people say in clubs

Love you queen, you should never be lonely with us around lol xxx

I feel like it's the same with studios in student accommodations. You have to go to other flats to make freinds. Always looking at other people having freinds and you not having them can also cause anxiety and depression, no matter how juvenile it sounds.

Agree with your posts but as an introvert I see it as a plus. There’s been too much forced interaction at school, uni is a breath of fresh air.😂

in order to make friends through mutuals, you need to have friends first.

time stamps xoxo 0:00 preview 0:36 intro 1:51 why u feel lonely 3:48 anxiety makes it worse 5:13 societies 10:20 flatmates 12:45 self-esteem 17:49 when you get excited over the bare minimum 21:24 how to actually make friends (mindset shif

I just finished my 3rd week everyone has made friends except for me 😢idk it’s just heavy feeling and I always blame it on my weight and anxiety I miss my long distance friends

I am so happy I came across this video. I don't ever use TikTok but I happened to open it once and it led me to watch this video. Anyways, yeah I am in first year and I am honestly having the worst time ever. I just cannot describe it, I haven't drank once or been clubbing or been out even though that is/was my dream in uni. I think the mindset problem is a HUGE thing like especially growing up as the only Black person my entire life, I have subconsciously adopted the outsider mindset and I can never escape it. It doesn't help that I go to Oxbridge and I am still one of only 2 black people in my college. I just cant seem to shake that anxiety wherever I go. In first term I went to ACS thinking I'd finally have Black friends for the first time in my life but because I am quite white washed and shy it did not go well at all :( so now I just don't know what to do. I think a benefit to a medicine degree (despite how its so difficult and stressful) is that you have more than 3 years so you dont have to worry about time running out to make friends. On the other hand, I am 1/3 of the way through university with nothing to show for it... maybe I should have applied for STEM

I couldn't agree more

I'm going into my second year now, been feeling like this since my last year of high school. It's awful. Everyone either has their own groups formed or have no interest in forming any connections, so it's rather easy to get left out. The only time I spoke to anyone is only related to uni work. I hear barely anyone open up and talk about this, so I'm glad to see I'm not alone struggling with this. I was about to try societies groups but I saw just how much effort you have to put in and i don't have that much energy, espescially to people who won't be bothered to interact with new people.

Yeah it did make me feel bad 🥲 but knowing that I’m not alone helps me more it’s my third year in uni and I do have friends but no close ones which really hurts me 😢

18:27 is SOO relatable, especially the boy part😭😭 I laughed out loud when you said that because that's 100% me🥲 But truly this whole video hits home for me right now, especially since this is my first year, and it made me feel less alone knowing that you've gone through something similar (unfortunately:,))! Thanks for sharing your story💞💕

so real

I'm going to uni this year but staying at home. Ngl cause my course is quite small like 35 people is hope is isn't so isolating .

i need help. im feeling extremely lonely and what’s been making it extra worse is that my roommates all have friends and they’re always hanging out together in the dorm. two of my roommates are best friends, so i’ll always hear them laughing and stuff in the other room. but that’s not even the worst part, the worst is that my third roommate, i am good friends with, but most of the time i’ve been seeing her recently she’s been with her other friend in the dorm. and that’s what hurts… because i know i’m not as close to her as she is to others but is just rubs in my face that i didn’t manage to make close relationships and she did. and so many times i’m being also fifth wheeled in the dorm

Hi also my I honestly never knew this stuff happened. My brother who's shy made many friends. Went to NTU is course has like 15 people in it and they would all go out bowling together and stuff. Plus 2nd year would help 1st year's and the uni interacts with the other course to get course work done. Eg. Designing course work with the science courses.

This is me but in college I feel really left out and like idk the people I hang out with yet they seem so close any advice :)

The amount of times ive thought about offing myself just because of lonliness

I have been struggle of feeling that I have a problem about keep my friendships healthy even though they have lot of red flags and whenever I look other classmates or students they have a lot of friends and happy… I can’t help myself thinking that I am the problem 😔😔

I am the oldest in my entire school. I've joined societies, I'm older than them all too 😔

This means looking for a bf or gf in uni is very hard too

did you find that antidepressants helped you? I'm at the lowest point of my life rn but im not sure if i should take them

Just remember the greatest thing a person can give you is love. And Love does not come from man, it comes from God. Never worry about keeping the right people. Put your trust in God, God has already lined up the right people for your life, people who are so true to you that you won't be able to keep them away from you. But before you can meet those people you have to learn that the best friend you will ever have is Jesus. Proverbs 18:24 A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who stays closer than a brother. Put God first in your life and all else will be provided for you. Just hang in there. Trust in God, Jesus is tha friend who sticks closer than a brother. Seek God first and all else will be provided to you. God will send the right people into your life. Submit to him and he will make your paths straight.

Thank you so so so much. I don’t feel so alone anymore 🫶

I really needed this video, as I am an Introvert and struggle to make friends... This video just made me so motivated and good about myself. Thank you so much!🩷

Your video really helped though. I loved hearing about your experience 🫶🏾