The Ultimatum: Queer Love Season 1 Episode 10 (Reunion) | Recap | Review 

80yrs from now Lexi is going to be on her deathbed, using her very last breathe to whisper: VANESSA

Once Vanessa brought that Hawaii thing up (God bless her for that), and Yoly tried to play ignorant, from that moment on I couldn't listen to anything she said without thinking she's a liar. I was so glad to hear that Mal is single and living it up. She deserves so much better.

The way Mildred said “Yes I did physically assault you” but you called the police AT me and I was arrested in my own home and they took my engagement ring from me as if she’s being victimized in this situation… (The police remove personal belongings when you are arrested)

the queer version of the ultimatum is definitely the ideal format

Mildred was so out of pocket with talking about THROWING things like she was the victim in that situation. Like her complaint about rent was valid but how do you physically assault somebody and then act like the victim.

And then tiff said you didn’t admit to throwing the dog gate at me on the police report! I was like yoooo she is insanely calculated and manipulative. She would’ve been financially abusive too with that joint account I’m sure. She just seems all around evil. I can’t believe they all sat there and let her continue to gaslight and talk over tiff and only Sam went out to comfort her. Yoly checking on Mildred was wild too. We need new Netflix hosts bc she gave us nothiiing

Mildred: **throws knife at Tiff** Also Mildred: “oh it’s because I’m a Latina” Honestly as a proud Puerto Rican latina woman I was livid when she used “being Latina” as an excuse for being toxic. Not shocked this is how things went down for them.

Aussie is 100 percent pushing the wedding off by saying they are working on their identity. Stop stringing Sam along!!!

I honestly strive to be so reasonable and patient and articulate like Mal, she has such admirable qualities.

I wouldn’t call Xander a villain. They got duped by Yoly same as Mal. Plus Xander was the one who confirmed the Hawaii trip plan. And they said in the Tudum article that they realized a few months after filming that they were angry at Yoly, and the reason they didn’t try with her after she and Mal broke up is because Xander didn’t want to be her second choice.

I agree about Vanessa. Her being so vulnerable was a beautiful thing to watch. I wish her the best!

As a straight woman, DAAAAMMMNNNN Mal looked smoking! (She usually did/does but WOWZER!) Yoly is trash. I'm so glad Aussie stood up for Tiff. It really does show that Aussie is "getting better".

I don't think people are talking about how Mal mentioned that Yoly was messaging her through her trial marriage with Xander telling Mal she has nothing to worry about. Just after having sex with Xander multiple times... Mal said she didn't even ask her to do that. So now you have Xander on stage looking like 'damn this was fake' and Mal is just shocked. LOL, This girl just wanted to make sure she had options, she seems like she gets scared to be alone.

Yoly needs to fire her memory: She didn't remember asking Xander for pics. She didn't remember planning an ENTIRE vacation with Xander. It seems her memory only works if there is someone present to contest her "recollection" smh.

Watching the whole show I was feeling for Mal. She was always considerate of Yoly’s feelings but never got the same back 😢

Yoly needs to stop with the crocodile tears. As soon as Mal was reading her for filth, here come the waterworks 🙄

*About Lexi's job, she was actually a corporate consultant* while they were on the show (at Deloitte or something like that, so a big name!). So that's why they discussed her having a career at a young age, being a go-getter, and apparently she was. Somehow, she became an OF model after the show wrapped. I'm guessing that's the "lifestyle change" Rae referred to in her Tudum interview. And you can see also in all the post-show interviews that Lexi has a totally different style and demeanor. Very confusing change out of nowhere!

why did Mildred have Tiff move in when she surely knew Tiff's financial status before having Tiff move in? The question of "Why did you move in when you weren't in a financial position to do so?" is unanswerable....bc they both agreed to move forward with living together. If Tiff was strapped financially, maybe that's why Tiff said will this be a three way split and maybe the disabled son has disability income. The bottom line was Mildred was trying to shame Tiff and Mildred did not need to bring up those things on national TV. Many couples with different incomes split things according to that difference in income ratio, eq 60/40 or whatever.

Girl Vanessa was such a nuisance to me but I think I saw her growth and I believe it was too late in the relationship, so i did actually drop a couple tears for the girl. Mal is too beautiful for such a toxic lying ass like Yolly. I do love me some Mal

The way Yoly tried to lie - whew!😂

I believed Vanessa too. As the show progressed - she had her flaws and she didn’t get all the way there - but she atleast owned up while other cast members didn’t.

I will say that I appreciate that Xander was like, I’m not lying for you. They answered honestly both times even after seeing that Yoly was going to lie straight to everyone’s faces. I still really like Xander but like Yoly and Mildred significantly less after these episodes. Love your reviews ❤

I'm glad Mal SHOWED UP! Someone needed to check Yoly. Yoly and her I didn't do that ... oh wait ... I did. Girl, you keep doing this!

I felt for Vanessa... really. But, I have a feeling that she was controlling and manipulative towards Xander. And maybe this experiment provided Xander the space necessary to have a rational view of the dynamic. I feel like maybe she was blindsided when was with Vanessa on the daily. And I feel like Xander cut contact with Vanessa for own well being and healing.

that was a good point! if you're comfortable admitting you were abusive, thats not the first time she did it.

Unpopular opinion. I think Lexi wanted Vanessa more than she is willing to admit. Thin line between love and hate

I agree Queen E, I definitely did start to feel bad for Vanessa during the reunion. I guess we both drinking the Vanessa Kool Aid😂

Aussie and Sam are not getting married 😐 Sam still hasn’t met family and Aussie still hasn’t came out. They are literally doing the same thing

Yes! Vanessa was authentic. Don’t worry Queen I felt the same! She recognized her personality flaws and showed growth. The way she handled Xander breakup was so mature and she clearly loved them.

I’m very satisfied with how I called out Yoly from the jump😂 and someone jumped in my last comment from your previous video. They basically called Vanessa a serial killer in disguise. I think Vanessa can be toxic in ways but it seems to mostly come from lack of self awareness. Yoly, is completely aware of herself and what she’s doing. Covert and strategic

Girlllllll I was waiting for you to come and speak on itttt ! 🧐 Mildred is trash 🚮 and gaslit Tiff! Aussie is hiding behind a smile. I can imagine she still needs some intense therapy. Yoly is the real undercover villain 🦹‍♀️ she played games and that’s why she sat there crying about coming to a realization she might not ever have children. Vanessa showed growth! Surprisingly. Mal looks great, and I really wish her all the best.

lexi is also a season villian, it seems she attacks her partner all the freaking time!

Hey Queen! You look like rainbow sherbet ice cream. Mal is the heartthrob of the show. Everyone says Yoli should’ve said “no” to Mal, but Mal never should’ve proposed in the first place. Am I the only one who wanted to see Xander and Yoli together despite everything? The Mildred Tiff thing is insanely toxic.

As a dv survivor I appreciate that you own not knowing how to handle that. You did the right thing falling back if you haven’t been thru that. That is respectful of you. It isn’t your responsibility but your kindness matters.

I don’t think Vanessa is necessarily a good person, but I believe that she was honest (to a fault) and I think her relationship ending with Xander hurt. I also think ending that relationship was best for the both of them.

I read in a post-interview that Xander said Vanessa hasn’t talked to her since the reunion making it seem like her wanting to stay friends wasn’t genuine …but it’s HARD AF trying to stay friends with someone you’re still in love with and still want romantically. No shade cuz I’m straight, but I notice queer people have a tendency to try & stay friends with each other but someone not being able to shouldn’t be viewed as an issue. It doesn’t make you a bad person or make the love you have for them not real because they cannot have you in their life.

I had to woosah when Yoly would be like oooooh yeaaa that did happen 😒like no if Mal didn’t stand ten toes Yoly would try to gaslight.

Queen B is correct on so much here. The thing that bothered me was after Mildred admitted to committing domestic violence and verbally attacking Tiff to the point Tiff left the host continued to let Mildred share her one sided narrative. The host should not have let Mildred continue Yoly and Mildred really came off as unlikeable. Sam deserves more. She is so sweet. Hopefully Mal can find someone more suited for Mal. Yoly was clearly not the one.

Its not just you, I've always liked Vanessa. The true villains in the show were decietful and or controlled their way through this season

Being "out" is complicated. It doesn't usually just happen once and the world knows forever and ever. Aussie is "out" in their current life. Aussie is not "out" to their parents which could be a lot of parental denial. Aussie's parents are also in AUSTRALIA I believe so it's completely possible between living in another country and basic denial, they are avoiding the whole "Aussie is queer" thing and haven't seen the American show. That being said, I think Aussie's general issues stand. And that is how Aussie handles conflict in the relationship (Or doesn't handle it) doesn't seem to have grown much (if at all).

The fact that the host was so boring and talking about puppies when Mildred decided to take the reigns and spill the tea on her own damn self was absolutely wild to me. I think it's so interesting that Yoly was the one standing up for and comforting Mildred after she literally admitted to throwing glass and a heavy dog gate at her partner... I am so glad that Mal finally recognized Yoly's lies and manipulation, and she was so right when she said "you just showed the world what a great partner I am." 100% facts. Yoly might be the villain of the season, but I have to say she knows how to pick good partners because Xander was also great.

I love Vanessa, she’s innocent and pure in my opinion. Despite her actions, she was always honest. Kind of like a child, but in the best way possible

"there's no point in trying to reason with someone who doesn't want to be reasoned with" -- thanks, I really needed to be reminded of that today!

Aussie is the only one still left in a couple after all this😂 Make that make sense. Need another season of this👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

Yoly was a secret villian. Mal was right, she'll fall for anyone. She was constantly lying by ommision and playing dumb when she was called out. Mildred is just abusive, and I feel Aussie is stringing Sam along. Vanessa had the most growth, proud of her.

How did Mildred issue an ultimatum without living together or discussing bills and responsibilities beforehand ???

I mostly agree with you. The only thing I really disagree on is Xander being a villain. She’s really not. She’s not “just the victim of Vanessa” like it seemed at the beginning, but she needed to get out of this relationship and she did, and she was brave enough not to get engaged to Vanessa in the finale (not like Yuli with Mal)

Yoly really showed her true colors in those last two episodes, I’m embarrassed for excusing her behavior in the first two sets of episodes 💀

ALSO, the way Yoly acted so confused about, "Wait, when did I lie?" to then be like, "Yeah, you're right I guess I didn't know how long we were holding hands" Are you serious, GIRL. And the way Mildred can so casually admit to physically assaulting Tiff like it's nothing... it was so scary, I'm honestly glad Tiff got out of that situation. Honestly, it's such a complicated dynamic in queer relationships where there is one more masc person, and there's a certain idea people have of that person in their heads and someone who is more femme and emotionally or physically abusive. People don't believe you and make you feel like that could never happen. I can only imagine how long varying levels of abuse went on in their relationship and possibly made Tiff feel like there was nothing they could do because they didn't wanna be perceived as an abusive/angry masc person. And Yoly siding with Mildred was just so... gross. Did you ignore her JUST saying she threw a picture frame that shattered glass on or near Tiff and a large, heavy pet gate??? And what, that's an okay response to an argument?? I'm honestly glad Mal seems like she's in a better place now after being constantly gaslit by Yoly. Like girl, how you lying so hard and you're being filmed. And I'm glad Sam and Tiff are friends. They are really good for each other (surprising from how it started lol).

I agree, I wish Yoly would stop with the selective memory tactics when she's caught out😒 Lexi and Rae just wanted to be together for the reunion to flex imo. Yoly never should've said yes, Mal should've never proposed. Tiff and Mildred was hard to watch! Lastly, who would've thought Aussie and Sam would be the only ones standing but like you said not much has changed. Overall this series was very compelling and better than the original and LIB S2 & 3.

"Things she did in the trial marriage." Girrrl Lexi is not gonna let Vanessa gooo

I’m glad Tiff left. Mildred sucks. She wants Tiff to be the man in the relationship and be the provider for her and her child. Mildred is one of those parents that babies her son because she Latina lol😂. I see that a lot. Yes her son is special needs but she has to remember she is not going to be alive forever to take care of him and needs to set him up to do things on his own or get the proper services for when she cannot help him. That is not Tiff’s responsibility and if Mildred really wanted for her son and Tiff to bond she had four years to do so. Everyone needs to remember that not everyone is knowable about people having special needs and every special needs is different and if Tiff was asking questions that doesn’t mean that Mildred should have gotten upset about it because she was trying to learn. Yoly is wack too. Can’t stand them.

I know they didn't exactly specify in what ways the experience changed them all individually, but I saw how Aussie changed by how Aussie showed up in the midst of the Tiff and Mildred conflict. Aussie would have previously shut down and would have possibly walked out as well, but Aussie stood in the line of fire and even helped comfort Tiff alongside Sam. We love growth!

When Mildred was talking and Aussie was over there exhaling cause she dodged bullet, lol

One of the best takes on this show.

Vanessa is an eccentric person but she seemed open and honest and sweet. Lexi really TRIED to make her the villain. She even slut shamed her parter! She told Rae “ now I have to tell my grandparents what you did.” Like NO GIRL you actually don’t.

Aussie seems like a skilled manipulator. She will stall indefinitely.

OMG!!! Did anyone else hear that if you listen to the reunion episode with TDD on (telecommunications device for the deaf), the final part says "Shortly after filming the reunion, Lexi suspected that Rae was cheating on her . They called off the wedding." I guess now we know...

Okay as someone who is in disability services/has an autistic adult brother. You get money from the state to help pay for your adult child. (Food, RENT, any other items) soooo in the case of rent from an adult disabled child…yes they can contribute to rent. But also Mildred sees no wrong at all with her actions. Netflix did not do a good job with telling people that physical abuse is okay. No resources whatsoever. Yoly and Mildred are the biggest villains of the season

8:48 Vanessa’s smirk lmaoo

The way yoly was noddin along to Mildred even after she admitted to be an abused was sooo unsettling to me. Like they let Mildred get away with painting tiff as the bad guy even tho she admitted to PHYSICAL VIOLENCE. I feel so bad for tiff…

I so appreciate you reviewed every episode separately. And I love your reviews. Totally subbing. Vanessa may have been emotional but it seemed like it was from codependency… I actually appreciate Vanessa spilling the tea on Yoly and Xander… Yoly was so incredulous and guilty af! We saw them planning Hawaii on the show!

I liked Vanessa. I did not think it was fair how the others treated her. I think she was ganged up on for having flaws despite the ones judging being terrible people, Yoly and Mildred, were given a pass. The only person that I understood the dislike for Vanessa is Lexi. She seems to be the only one that actually gave her a genuine chance, but everyone else just follow suit.

Something about Mildred especially in the reunion was PTSD trigger for me I’ve been in abusive relationships and she hits on so many forms psychologically, physically and financially. Plus her reaction to how she acts is quite psychopathic (I’ve got a psych degree don’t come for me). Vanessa grew on me probably because she’s honest almost to a fault and doesn’t seem to care what people think about that- I’m the same way about that. Is she annoying yes but that doesn’t make her a villain. Yoli takes second place villain because she probably had the best partners yes both Mal and Xander, but she was emotionally manipulating both of them. Tiff, Sam, Mal and Vanessa grew the most in my opinion. Yoli regressed as did Mildred and Aussie. Lexi and Rae were stagnant AF meaning neither grew nor regressed. Lexi would be my third villain she needs self reflection and accountability she is so jealous it’s grating. I’m not a jealous person at all and Lexi, Mildred, and Vanessa (at the end) jealousy annoyed the crap out of me.

Queen e your open honest communication in my opinion is incredible. I'm of that community, my opinions is everyone be as respectful as they can. And you do your very best with the knowledge you have. Your incredible ❤❤❤

Aussie even stated she was triggered by Mildred during the situation with Tiff.. to me that says a lot about milDREAD

I'm with you, I turned a corner on Vanessa too, it seems like she actually grew as a person?? lol Idk she came across really healthy and mature in the reunion and finale

Omg I was waiting for this! ❤❤❤

I think personally (obviously I’m not the spokesperson of the queer community. Even though I’m a part of it) you have been very respectful and have really appreciated it. I agree with you that the queer format works better😂 like we are an absolute mess always. If there’s any actual queer commentators you come across feel free to rec them!! That definitely helps the community!

Everyone is ignoring the fact Xander told Vanessa she didn’t know if she was in love with Yoly. But then as soon as she sees Yoly she’s telling her she loves her again. Definitely lies.

I feel like Vanessa has grown also and believed her, can’t say that about Yoly who sat there and still tried to lie 🙄

Vanessa is the BEST. Don’t care what anyone says. She showed up and was real.

I'm finally glad persons are seeing Mildred as aggressive and scary , I know Aussie would leave often but I would as well

Tbh I grew to like Vanessa too. Yes she came off strong but she showed some growth and is receptive to lots of feedback.

I've enjoyed your videos on Queer Ultimatum, you have good insight on people.

Yoli and Mildred had similar motives, money and security. When Yoli found out that Xander was not as financially secure she stuck with Mal. That meeting with Mal’s best friend where Yoli revealed why she wanted Xander was interesting.

looking forward to season 2 Ultimatum Queer Love - loved it!

Omg!! Finally somebody who agrees that yoly was the real villain this season!!!!

I'm so glad you did this show, and I really respect how you handled the challenges involved. THE QUEER FORMAT WORKS BETTER

I live in a country where data is super expensive so I've been relying on your recaps and thoughts. I saw your review of episode 9 and I ran to watch the reunion like I'm not poor lmao. All cos of you. Have loved your thoughts on this show 😅😂😂😂

Okay but the Houdini of the show is Xander, people really can’t pick the type that hits and hides their hands. For one, Vanessa had all her cards on the table about never wanting to be in a marriage and this being a time for her to go through her options. Why would you issue an ultimatum to a person who has been clear all along about her stance. Additionally, how she was with Yoly at the final dinner all the hand holding, proposing a runaway, while presenting a front that she was fully committed to Vanessa with no admission as to how she felt or what she was doing with Yoly….like yikes their inner fboy was pumped. I love how triggering a person like Vanessa would be to the issuers of an ultimatum because to them, if you’re not working towards marriage, or figuring out how to get to a point of wanting to be married to them then “you’re fake” per Lexi’s proclamation…all the while omitting that people have as much a right to remain outside of the construct of marriage, and that leaving single is very much an option, in my opinion, the only right choice when issued an ultimatum. Cue Lexi’s seemingly unexplainable vendetta against a person like Vanessa- they represent the polar opposite if not diametrically opposed positions of two people clear on their objectives, but a Vanessa would never yield to the control tactics of a Lexi hence why a person like Rae suits Lexi. I further believe her misdirection was aimed at Vanessa because I’d wager Rae MAKING THE DECISION to engage with Vanessa , beyond the promise, was really about her feeling a loss of control over Rae. Lexi speaks about Rae very paternalistically. So naturally, Lexi is targeting Vanessa because she cannot conceive of an autonomous Rae and Vanessa is a “power weilder” that can destroy their lives by way of her introducing a different perspective. Also she went about gossiping and picking fights with Vanessa when she’s been unbothered and focused on Xander. Lol Lexi needs to grow up. Also that makes this the second time Vanessa had flagged weirdo behaviour between Xander and Yoly and the first time everyone was so ready to gaslight Vanessa. So if Yoly is manipulating what does that say about her co-conspirator Xander?

The mail opening for me was a prob too. Nobody should be opening anyone’s mail unless it’s agreed upon.

I liked Vanessa from the beginning. I vibed with her bad sense of humor. I really thought that Lexi, Mildred and Yoly were ganging up on her to cover their own asses and I'm glad to see I was right.

I love your personality so much and I'm so glad this video popped up on my feed. I really enjoyed this recap and I'm looking forward to checking out your other videos 🥰

Love the question about growth and context

I do feel that Vanessa has definitely Grown a lot, more so than anyone else on the show and for that she should be given props and I defs agree that Yoli is the True Villain of the series!! I don't wanna label Mildred a villain as right now it still is a case of He said Vs She Said and no one is really present in the relationship, but she was DEFS in the WRONG to get physical with Tiff. I Love, Love Xander and I feel that Xander is the only person that made the right decision for themselves and Yoli with all her deceitful ways DOES NOT deserve Xander!!

Vanessa really surprised me tbh, she sure was entertaining from the start but the maturity we saw from her in the finale was so great

“Not me pointing to myself like I’m Sam” 😂😂

I think more importantly than should it be 50/50 or 3 ways is does the income work for that. Like 50/50 works if you make similar incomes, but if one makes more, it should probably be a percentage of your pay.

Honestly I believe Vanessa has had the most growth out of everyone on the show as far as I can see, if she’s tryna fool everyone…well baby I’m fooled 😭

The thing with Vanessa… I also felt for her at the reunion. She just came across super genuine to me, like those tears were not fake you can tell they both have a lot of love for each other even if not romantic.

Love that you spoke on your experience. My ex died but I loved w/his family for a few years and what you said is exactly what his sister went thru. She left at 17 and made her own way while the 2 youngest brothers have done nothing and pay for nothing. She confides in me knowing I know their fam well and won’t say anything. They’re from Thailand so it’s more than just black families. Just wanted to say that you’re not alone there w/that. ✌🏻💕

I heard from Tait's Take that if you watch the ending of the reunion with Audio Description it tells you a different story than what's written on the screen. It says that Lexi had suspicions of Rae CHEATING on her and that's why they called the wedding off!

I really feel like the camera people should not have followed Tiff. It was uncomfortable to watch someone so clearly walking away to have a moment and it was filmed.

The end about Lexi and Rae's breakup i was like "now it makes sense". Lexi low key bully Rae into an engagement

Sam kisses Aussie ass n don’t be upfront about how she feels because she knows Aussie is just gonna walk away.. Sam needs to learn self love n her worth and Aussie need therapy like immediately

I’m so happy mal called holy out.. like a true Virgo lol

What is the big deal of Tiff asking to split things in 3? I get that the son has special needs but he is a teenager which means they are using more utilities etc. It depends what conversations they had about money and what they feel is fair. I do not think it is wrong of Tiff to ask--especially if they cannot financially support them both. Another reason they should have not been engaged because they are obviously not financially set to combine their lives in the way they want.

13:11 I hated that Yolo got in the middle of this argument.

I think the difference between the “villains” of the season, Vanessa vs Mildred, Yoly, and Lexie are that Vanessa at least admitted she needs to work on being less obnoxious and joke during serious moments. While on the other hand Lexie won’t admit that she pretty much bullied Rae through the season; talked about Rae’s sex life during the experience in front of Lexie’s parents and threatening to tell her grandpa what happened (wtf who does that btw) in order to humiliate Rae, which an extremely reserved person from the looks of it. Lexie just needs to get over the fact that sex has a different meaning for different people, if Vanessa and Rae wanted to have meaningless sex, that’s their prerogative. Yoly won’t admit that she’s a pathological liar and only wanted to look for the cameras till Vanessa called her out for her bs (and conservatively too, because I would’ve wanted to be more petty if I were Vanessa after the way they treated her). Glad Mal finally called her out for being sneaky af. I think you’re right about Vanessa being annoying; Yoly and all of the others are just mean girls