The Worst Movie Remake of All Time 

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Even as a recap, it bothered me that Bo was legitimately covered in gasoline soaked clothing and sets a cornfield on fire without ever catching fire herself

You ruined Children of the Corn 2023 for me, when I really wanted Children of the Corn 2023 to ruin Children of the Corn 2023 for me 😭

That scene of the adults laughing at the kids is so genuinely funny

This is such a first draft movie. the ham handed foreshadowing, the lack of connection between scenes etc etc. This was definitely slapped together to retain the film rights of the story.

Imagine introducing the corn rot idea, that actually can induce allucinations, and make it seem like the entire plot might happen cause the kids are infected, and then 2 minutes later show a cgi face in the corn, making all of it completly redundant

The way the adults laugh at the kids reminds of Austin Powers when everyone laughed at Austin because his dad never showed up to his graduation

“He who walks behind the rows” is believed to be Randall Flagg from the dark tower series. On top of that he works for the crimson king aka the red king, and there’s a girl mentioning the red queen…. So I see them trying string connections to the dark tower series. Also with the tie-ins Stephen king does do, I could see the director trying to connect children of the corn to pet cemetery as well with that one opening line about nothing really dying.

This movie supposedly had a 30 million dollar budget, no idea where that went

Only thing this video has disappointed is the glaring absence of the tentacle on the table. At this point it’s a staple of Papa Meats videos.

You know how the Japanese used to make traps out of bamboo that can puncture your skin, you could substitute corn stalks for that. That's how hard corn stalks are.

I always called the monster from this franchise, "The Great Cornholio". He just needed some TP for his bungholio.

Not only are corn stalks hard but they’re also incredibly painful to run through because they’re rough/spiky

being from nebraska the scariest thing about that story to me was if you get stuck between major cities it's just an endless plane of nothing but corn, grass and more grass. hella agoraphobic so it's a shame they couldn't use that to their advantage.

The director watching this furious that you’re tearing up his movie but thrilled that you got the Red Queen references

Wow why does it seem like Hollywood purposely makes remakes terrible? It's like a trade secret or something, the remake must not be better than the original, I don't know. Great review!

13:10 Ya that's pretty normal. The Gov does it in order to stabilize the cost of a product. Usually the field just gets turned into another crop, or they catch it on fire to fertilize the soil for future crops. Outside of the gov forcing this via stabilization, it's perfectly normal to request gov aid if the fields need some time off.

9:41 I spent the 1st 9 years of my life in Ohio and before 2020, when people started saying any chaotic hellscape was Ohio, people would tell you ain't nothin' in Ohio except corn. I can tell you from experience that cornstalks are indeed hard. Also corn and sugarcane are in the same subfamily, Panicoideae. Corn is also in the same class, order, and family as bamboo. So that should give you a vague understanding of how hard cornstalks are if you've ever been around sugarcane or bamboo. [Edit]: Also how the fuck is there no guns in this small American town? Shit makes 0 sense.

The government will absolutely subsidize you to grow certain crops. If I remember correctly, it's due to higher prices on other crops, which farmers will want to plant. Subsidizing others to make sure there isn't a shortage. Also (at least here in Nebraska), the NRD will pay you to not plant anything and let the field go wild. But that is a commitment for several years, I think 8-10 years.

Nick photo with Twomad did not age great BRUH

13:12 thats actually something that happens. Either because of over production or deals with other countries, governaments pay farmers and landowners for non-production or even destruction of fields and trees

You know that joke question of like, "How many kids do you think you can knock down before you get tired?" It feels like it wasn't ever asked at one point.

The fact that they made the antagonist alluding to the red queen shows that they have not read Alice in Wonderland and only knows her from Tim Burton's version.

Hey Pops! I've been hoping to see my drawing of you turn up in a video. When you said you were going to put it in the studio I got really excited, but then I realized later there's a lot of your studio that isn't in the camera frame. And the thing is, while I was going to the con I was staying at someone else's house, not in my workshop, which is why the drawing wasn't trimmed nicely and why I don't have any photos of it. I would love to see it again and show it to my friends, I was really proud of it when I drew it. Anyway, keep up the good work! I've got Healthy Baby on the wall, I guess I'll leave it to you to sneak my drawing into the frame of a Papa Meat video, or stow it under your mattress so you can sleep on it like a dragon on a pile of gold. Whatever grabs yah. Also, this movie is basically a repeat of In The Tall Grass, another Stephen King movie which has nothing to do with the source material, and is just a movie with bad acting and clunky foreshadowing and lackadaisical horror elements, with them walking through a horror field while CGI roots grow around stuff and thralls of the plant god kill people and the movie ends with crazy CG horror plant visuals. They even both have the dumb catchphrasy lines. "It's just flesh. And flesh is grass." and "Nothing ever dies in the corn." I'm sure there's a line like that in the Pet Semitary remake. "A man is made of flesh and blood. But I am made of cat and dog."

I have rewatched a lot of topics covered by papa meat that I had seen on other channels or just in general, solely because of the editing on these videos. I like hunter he’s a funny guy by the editing on these videos are just chefs kiss. Please never stop being good at this shit

Your editor deserves a 200% raise

I love how the movie that borrows almost nothing from the original novel actually adds a scene of local adults being assholes to kids. I suppose Stephen King's writer traits are so dominant they even survive a shitty remake.

Sounded Like he said "Walk the Plank"...on that Obnoxious jump scare.

This is just what Hollywood thinks we do for fun in Nebraska

Actually, being subsidized to not grow something is super common. Especially in the "larger" industries like corn, soybeans, peas, etc. They do it to keep the price from bottoming out. Same reason excess crops are burned at times.

You know what I *_really_* abhor? Notice how, at 7:55, the cornfield is all... brown, really. Even the green leaves are all muddy. Have they ever walked through corn!? Reminds me of a scene from the D&D trailer, where the hay used in a hut was a deep orange. Colour grading was used originally to fix bad colour capture from the camera, then it was used for artistic effect, and now it's just slapped on top of everything with zero concern. P.S.: Yes, dying corn, yadda-yadda, but this does not look dying. It's just painting over healthy leaves.

“Bow’s” head is shaped like an arrow

2:06 the thousand yard stare I had when I saw that image

1000% sure this recap is far better than the actual movie. Thank you for taking one for the team.

Dude I literally was laughing out loud more than I ever have when you were talking about the parents laughing in the kids faces about the voting and stuff haha. That is the most ridiculous scene ever I can't believe it's real haha

I love your work!! I just wanted to tell you that the plant on your desk needs more light! It's 'reaching' towards the light sources around it. I love your art!!!

16:06 DEFINITELY days! Depending on the soil and the tools maybe even longer!

I wanna see a meatcanyon video where the monster just randomly goes "Nothing ever dies in the meat"

Meat is like that one uncle who cheers you up in dark times of need and gives you gifts whenever you see him

this is my favorite thing you do... your toons got me here ty

Was that “AHHHHH” in the beginning from Dudesy perhaps…?

I love the "inbread children" card because it makes me think of kids in giant bread loaf costumes. A simple typo, with great results.

As a Nebraskan, this is a normal occurrence.

Love your editor/editing. Makes me haha.

This seems like one of those times where the script was a completely different movie involving a plant monster, and the studio was like, 'we will make this, but you gotta make it a remake of Children of the Corn so we can keep the copyright to the name."

I feel like there should have been a twist where the corn monster was actually made of squash. Just as a final screw you to the audience.

I love the yellow progress bar under the ad-- nice touch.

The way subsidization works is that if everyone grows corn, the market will be flooded and the price of corn will drop. This leads to less corn sales and more corn going bad. Because of this many small farms will get foreclosed and larger farms won’t grow corn again which leads to a huge shortage the next harvest season. To prevent this the government tries regulate the amount of any one crop that is produced at a time and will pay producers to not grow it in order to keep the market stable

“Nothing ever dies in the corn” sounds like something straight from your acid trips of animations ❤️

The corn monster reminded me of the plants from a movie called "The Ruins", where the plants basically just kill people 😂

(Not so) fun fact- 1 cubic foot of soil weighs 140 pounds. I haven’t seen the movie so idk how big the pit is but I wouldn’t want even one scoop of dirt dumped on me let alone escape afterwards

The editing and sound effects used on this video were absolutely hilarious! I haven't laughed this hard in a while. I love Papa Meat and his fantastic crew!

The last scene gave me a feeling of, man how to explain...do you ever watch something that doesn't really scare you but you know as a kid it would have RUINED you so you don't feel scared but a small part of your brain is screaming? It's like that 😂

He Who Walks Behind the Rows is a literal corn-man. The lack of imagination is palpable. In the original, you never see him. I think you hear him roar when the cornfield burns, but that's about it. In another adaptation from the 2000's he does make an actual appearance, and he looks like the Thing from 1982 if it contracted the T-Virus. He does not look anything like corn is what I'm saying. He looked more like an inside-out T-Rex.

I have family in western Nebraska, where all the small towns are. This is pretty much what the kids were like out there, they could've filmed this as a found footage movie and it would've hit like the original Paranormal Activity.

24:08 “No ones ever truly gone”

THE ADULTS LAUGHING AT THE KIDS ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!? 😂😂😂 that is amazingly bad I adore it

lol how tf did a gasoline soaked Bo not catch on fire?! 😂

15:15 wow she flipped quick from "its not natural its all pestacides" to "No not the corn dont hurt the corn"

Being in Omaha, Nebraska, seeing that Cafe sign brings me joy because that's where my grandpa's old donut shop was.

He's not wrong about the corn stalks being like steel bars. As someone who's helped out on crop fields I can assure you they do hurt and they will cut and bruise. If you need a home defense weapon, choose a corn stalk. You won't regret it.

Papa Meat and Dead Meat need to do some collabs.

Yea usually subsidizing one crop for another is a common place thing for farmers. (I live in Southern Indiana and it's either soy or corn year) but it's pretty neat. :] also the murderface mug holds my attention for the entire video lol. Along with the wonderful movie review >:]

I live in NW Ohio so I live in the part of the state where it's mostly just corn and I can confirm that corn stalks are hard. This recap was way better than the movie

I never expected that, out of all my years watching youtube and seeing so many great content creators, you'd be the one that has made me laugh hysterically this consistently. Love your humor and your content, bro.

I live in the Hawkesbury area of New South Wales in Australia and they filmed this heaps near me. Me and my family used to go walking and bike riding around this area when lockdowns hit cause it's a lot of plots of farm land and it's very picturesque and there's not many people around. It was so surreal they set up all the lights and equipment and stuff in this corn field they must've rented from a farmer it was relatively contained tho I don't remember how long the production lasted but we walked around the plot a couple different times on different days. It was quite the talk between us and another family that were friends with that went on walks there too. They set up a barn so they could explode it, we went to go watch them explode it but the production ran long and they didn't get around to it that day and exploded it some other time. They set up signs and stuff saying "welcome to Rylstone, Happiest Corn in Nebraska" which was very funny to me being in sub-rural New South Wales. Like I get that it's set in Nebraska but still lol

The editing in these videos continues to be god-tier

I love these videos. I need more of this man reviewing terrible movies.

Man, when i saw the original at about 8 years old it was super chilling to me. I can't remember if it was technically good or bad, but at the time, for a kid it was very creepy.

The Subsidy for not growing corn was most likely to promote crop rotation as it has a more positive benefit to soil health and productivity as opposed to growing one crop in the same soil year after year

The government does pay people not to grow stuff or raise cattle. I worked at a bank. One of our customer used to raise cattle. Don't know how he or the government goes about it but they sent him a monthly check (thousands of dollars) so that he didn't do anything with his land. I believe this is them trying to control supply to keep prices at a certain level.

I wish I could say "Damn, this is shocking cause this guy directed Equilibrium" but he also directed Ultraviolet so this is weirdly a step up

The entire time I was reading the short story these movies are based on, I fell further into "Oh no... Oh, oh no..." It's the type of short story that just leaves you a bit empty

Great vid my guy also side note where did you get the murder face plant holder? Is that custom made?

I didn't even know they made a new Children of the Corn until now lol

Papa meat is that cousin everyone has that when you go to their house his room has all these crazy posters and drawings, there’s like death metal playing, a non played guitar in the corner, swords hanging on the wall. He shows you your first porn Mag and has nun chucks lol but he’s the coolest cousin you have

13:12 the dad reminds me of Matthew McConaughey and given the context of farming, I find this infinitely funnier when I think about Interstellar.

I can confirm cornstalks do hurt. When I was 16 a friend brought me night hunting with him. All of my friends and and myself where standing in the bed of a truck while going through a corn field that had been harvested so there was a bunch of 3-4inch cut stalks sticking out of the ground. We hit a bump, and I literally flew out of the bed of the truck and landed on my back on top of a bunch of these stalks. It knocked the breath out of me so I just laid there for a while. After about 10-15 minutes I realized they didn't turn around, they didn't notice I was missing until they got to where they were going lol. The bruises were wild

2:07 nicks pic with twomad hurts my heart, guy somehow knew alot of people and still died alone

It felt like someone wanted to make a movie, but it was too close to Children of the own, so they just bought the rights for Children of the corn

1:43 Exactly how it felt editing and creating my comic dub for Sonichu. No matter what I could do, it didn't matter, the comic is such a mess that no editing can make it go smoother.

From what I can hear at 12:11 he says "WALK THE PLANK", which is kinda fucked up like "lol remember that kid we watched almost get executed earlier lmao"

13:13 The government pays farmers not to grow certain crops in order to avoid having too much on the market. At some point they tried buying the crops off them, but that instead just resulted in them growing even more of it since the price was fixed and the government would buy all of it, so they just went back to paying them to not grow it.

I've been so preoccupied with watching campy classic horror films from the 70s-90s that I didn't even realize a remake of this came out. Happy I didn't know! Lol

No idea why, but "HOW ARE WE GONNA FEED OUR DUCKS" makes me laugh so fucking hard - replayed that part about 10 times LOLOLOL

There are subsidies where if there’s a surplus of one crop, the government will pay the farmers not to grow it. You don’t want fields of corn dying on the stalk and farmers not making money because the stores and such won’t buy any more. I know plenty of families that have ding-dong-ditched so when you opened the door, there were absolute bushels of zucchini or tomatoes on your doorstep, because they grew too much and no one’s buying any more, and there’s such abundance that your family can only eat and preserve and can so much before it starts rotting. The big problem is when your family is *also* growing harvesting that crop in abundance, so it becomes a community-wide game of hot potato with slowly-rotting produce. It’s also a good incentive for crop rotation so the fields get a break and can be replenished with nutrient fixer crops like beans.

I know im kinda late, but the original was filmed in my home town! The main street was Whiting, Iowa and it was awesome seeing it in a horror movie.

I miss the random jiggle of the tentacle

The Govt will subsidies if there is a surplus or as an incentive to leave the land bare so that it can recoup nutrients (a part of crop rotation that came about during the American Dust Bowl to help combat the droughts and crop exhaustion of the land).

Hearing him do different voices and then recognizing them from his animations is really fun to catch.

Sponsored or not that was the best Keeps ad ever: quick, painless, to the point and actually funny as far as ads go.

I live in Nebraska and out here last year we got a lot of attention after some fires came in this time last year. A handful of towns had to get evacuated and it was a massive deal until partway through the summer. Fires like that would definitely attract a lot more attention.

Holy shit someone else who has the old Blast Books' Hideshi Hino comics. Great taste. Not sure if youre familiar but Star Fruit Books has been publishing some of his stuff again. You might be interested.

They could have called him "The one behind stalks" and it would be a little double entendre. That took me two seconds to think up.

7:19 the red queen is actually a chess piece, she and the queen of hearts are similar but different, the main difference being that the red queen is more cunning and analytical and smart (like chess players are)

It never ceases to amaze me with movies like this. How applying a basic degree of common sense to the situation could completely avoid the whole thing.

That picture of that dude eith twomad kinda crazy now

My favorite and most creative experience and review i have listened to; man was on his game in this one! Great work!👏🏼💯

I love when Papa Meat laughs so hard I get concerned for his health

How does this man manage to be pumping out these videos, I assume hes has at least an editor but still they are getting these out often