Theo talks Forgiving Our Parents 

When Theo says “getting to love my mother twice” shook me because those who know! Its a journey learning to hold the cards your dealt.

It’s crazy to me how emotionally smart Theo is, I learn a lot when he goes deep like this

Forgiveness isn't you accepting what someone did to you as okay. Forgiveness is breaking off those chains and not letting it control you anymore. That weight is now off your shoulders and you can walk in peace.

Unfortunately forgiveness isn't a 1 time proclamation or feeling. It's a daily choice. If you're not thinking about wanting to forgive the person on a constant basis, your old thoughts and feelings can creep back into your heart. Especially if that person is still in your life and they say or do something hurtful again, you're not just upset at that moment. You remember all the other times they hurt you and all that pain floods back in. So yeah, forgiveness is immensely difficult. But I also know how overwhelmingly good it feels to be forgiven so I try to forgive people.

When Theo said “ I know this isnt good for me but somehow it keeps me warm a little” that shit hit me deep

"People do the best they can..." Simple and deep. Forgiving your parents can be especially hard, but realizing what he is talking about can help to melt some of the resentment.. like he said we're all just kids getting older, our parents included.

Damn this hit hard and seems scarily well-timed

This is super important. Remember that your parents are the way they are BECAUSE of their childhood and how they were treated by others like their parents / teachers. That doesn’t mean what they did to you was ok, but it means you should forgive them and move forward with your life and make sure you don’t continue their cycle of negativity. Don’t hold grudges or bad energy it’s bad for your soul. Try not to judge ur parents harshly because we don’t know the horrors they went through as kids. Forgive them and find peace and end the cycle of negativity❤️

Damn Theo, you’re truly a one in a million. You make us laugh until we cry but then you can break down such complex emotions into something we can all relate to and digest, one step at a time. Your positivity and wisdom make me feel like I’m not alone on this journey and I’ll forever be grateful that you let us see this side of your life. Thank you!!

“At a certain point I’m tired of the grudges “. Perfectly expressed

Exactly my situation… and exactly what I needed to hear. That anger blanket is something serious…You’re the best Theo.

Thanks for this, 37 years of sobriety and I find I can still struggle with the resentments against my parents, maybe because I stuffed the pain, denied it, etc. I doing another 9th step and this time they are on it. My parents are both deceased. You are on the right path Theo. Love you man

Theo is a spot on as I "gave up my right to be angry" as someone told me..my father and I had the most beautiful second chapter or second-childhood as I call it once I did this..It was the most beautiful experience. It took many years. Forgiveness. Work on both our parts but we did it.

Clicked for a laugh, ended up in a cry of gratefulness. Thank you for your energy and message, Theo. I needed to hear this today and didn’t even know when I woke up. Much love my brother.

I'm 20 and my father passed away in September of '21. I just wanted to say how much you nailed this theo. Forgiveness has been a whole new journey after his passing that has brought a lot of regret for not forgiving earlier and enjoying the time we could have had. Thank you for your words Theo, they mean more than you'll ever know. Onward, gang gang.

Forgiveness can mean a lot of different things though. For me it means not holding on to anger and wishing them well. But also looking after myself by not having a relationship

That part about missing out twice is very powerful.

Love you, bro. Going to pray for you and your mom before I go to sleep.

Dude is real relatable, anybody that’s going through it. You have the power to get to where you should be, don’t look back.

You’re the most authentic celeb out there

Wow❤. The most simple yet profound sentiment /perspective!!!! The way he articulates the complexities of navigating such a relationship to a healthy place !!! Brilliant 🙏🏻♥️ Thank you

The problem is when you have a parent who just continuously does things you would need to forgive them for. All parents hurt their kids sometimes, some parents hurt their kids all the time. I had to cut contact with my dad 10 years ago after trying since childhood to connect with him. He was a drug addict, crack, who was endlessly abusive...when he was around. Hit me in the head when I annoyed him, raged at me, lots of psychological abuse and putting me down, even verbal sexual abuse (accusing me of "touching myself" to humiliate me). If I talked back he would do something like pick me up and throw me into a wall, or put me in a headlock and squirt liquid dish soap down my throat. For funsies he would hold me down on the ground with his entire 6'3'' 230+ lb frame and "rib tickle" me (this is where you jam a finger in between someone's ribs really hard and it creates a dual effect of hurting very bad but also tickling at the same time) until I was completely out of air and he would just hold it until I was near passing out. He would let me gasp for breathe for a few seconds, then right back to it. This could go on all day while my mom was at work. He was so "cliche bad dad" that he once asked the neighbors to watch me for an hour or two while he ran some errands, and I ended up having to stay there house for a few days. This is the most evil person I've ever had the displeasure of meeting, and he's my dad. Worst part is, he's from money. He's a typical golden boy narcissist who had everything handed to him and threw it all away for cheap highs. There have been a few emails back and forth over the years but ultimately I always realize that he is just completely deluded about what contact between us should look like. He thinks he deserves some immense level of respect from me automatically, like he gave his dad...who literally provided everything under the sun for him. Even after he bailed on me and my mom his parents just payed for him to start a new life in a WAY nicer town than I grew up in. Some people are just black hearted evil scum, to be honest I will never understand how this type of attitude has been allowed to take such deep roots in our world.

No idea theo would have me in tears watching this.... It sounded like he was talking directly to me 😔... Thank you for this I truly needed it

Love ya Theo

Yes forgiveness is important. Holding a grudge is like giving someone else poison but you take it instead. You gotta let that shit go.

Thank you Theo, I needed that.

It might start off feeling like a blanket, but it’s more like a suit of armor…and it will weigh you down until you’re too tired to try to swim. You gotta let go of the stones that weigh you down.

It's truly forgiveness of self first 😌 then you can forgive others .The feeling of comfort of pain is numbing feeling that why addiction is a good feeling... Gang gang

This video won’t get as many views as some of your others, but this video explains why your comedy is so pure and genuine.

He is spot on in his awareness.

I can totally relate. But in my case, it's father issue. I didn't have that issue when I was a kid, but instead I got all the wounds during adulthood. I somehow believe that time and distance are the things that can help us forgive someone who's hurt us so deeply. You have to make boundaries first to get some peace for yourself, then going to consult a psychologist might be helpful to feel better. Praying is powerful too.

Forgiveness is a gift to yourself. I believe that you have to like yourself enough to give yourself that gift. I did not like myself for decades, but when I started liking myself, it was very easy to forgive. Another thing, touching on what you said, my relationship with my mother consisted of anger, bitterness, resentment, jealousy, all the negative emotions, basically. After my 50th birthday, I decided to end my relationship with her. I actually grieved for about two years. I’m now 65, and I don’t have any of those emotions anymore. I think, yes, I might’ve been holding onto those emotions and feelings because that was the entirety of my relationship with my mother. But when I ended my relationship with my mother, became estranged, all of that just disappeared. I wish I had understood sooner. Better late than never. Thank you so much for your work, advice, and love.

Unforgiveness is the poison you drink hoping the other person dies!

Idk man I am quick to cut people who have wronged me out of my life but for people I keep around if they piss me off Im mad for maybe a whole 30-45 mins and then I just kinda get over it but like I said if someone seriously wronged me then I just dont speak to them ever again.

HATRED ISN'T WORTH IT!

But not forgiving shouldn’t have to mean not letting go…personally I feel some people don’t deserve our forgiveness…

I am grateful that he has a platform to talk about this stuff!! It makes me cry. I got clean so long ago and I still have to let go of that blanket.

If you don't let go of resentment, then in a way, the person who did you wrong has some control of your life whether that person is alive or not.

Yesterday we had a funeral for my girlfriends grandfather.. she went to speak and comfort her her dad and he turns to her and said "I'm not allowed to talk to you" truned his back and walked away because his new wife doesn't like her over some stupid argument they had like 3yr ago.. now he says they should cut all commutation because it upsets his new partner... it's broken my girlfriends heart that her dad won't even talk to her now 💔 😪

Thank you Theo, wise words, I am so fortunate to have you as my personal therapist. I always look for your videos when I am feeling lost. I wish you knew how much you have helped me through all these years. Theo Von, know that there is people out there who love you and respect you sir. You are an amazing human being. Gang, gang, Baby!!! 😊

I haven’t spoken to my father in 8 years

Omg this is real shit I’m crying

Take it from me, you'll miss them when they're gone.. I have the same issues I have had and continue to deal with, I lost my Mom at 13 (from an Aneurysm at age 43) she was my everything, my big sister filled the mom void until 04 When she passed from (Also age 43 brain Aneurysm) Crazy. My father is still alive and our relationship has been Rocky to put mildly, I am Now attempting to fix anything that I can. Don't know if it will work out. He's from another generation and sometimes another planet I think lol... I'm doing my best but it's weird because I have always been a disappointment and never lived up to his standards. I doubt that it's possible any longer and I can't handle anymore regrets. Love them while you got em.... 🙏🙏✌️

Needed this one

Remembering that I choose to live this life and that I choose to live it everyday makes it so much easier to let go of those things we hold onto that can affect us on a daily basis

Theo, that's some real shit brother. 💯

Inner child work is so necessary for humans to strive to be healthy and emotionally mature! No toxicity! This is MY WORK and it's my job to strive to heal!!

i’m so upset with my sister, she hasn’t spoken to my mother since early 2019 over a few hundred dollars.

This is pretty powerful Theo Thank you for sharing!

Damn this is deep af and so relatable and the god honest truth

theo, thanks. dealing with this issue for years.

I agree forgiveness and letting go is important for your own heart. Having a relationship with a toxic parent as an adult isn’t always the best option for yourself. Some people never change and will continue to hurt you. I know it’s easier said then done to cut ties especially if you don’t have any other support or relationships.

It's also not required to forgive them especially if they are hurting you. You shouldn't have to hurt yourself to accommodate someone who harms you physically, emotionally, spiritually. It doesn't matter.

I understand this is just a RU-vid clip but this clip has brought a unbelievable amount of clarity.

I just cried and cried

Next time you’re in Tucson man I have a small “closed” men’s meeting you should attend. It’s not 12-step but 12-step oriented and focuses on the mother wound. I think it would be beneficial considering you’d be in the area visiting your mom. Stay well brother!

Keep on being you brother, thanks for being so transparent and wearing your heart on your sleeve, love is everywhere and you promote it ♥️

Thank you for sharing this! It's been so helpful to me! I work on being a better me everyday and forgiveness and letting go of pain I feel has been my biggest obstacle so far.

Legit 15 seconds in, and staring to cry. Stuff hurts man.

Man that was deep and real. Spread the word everyone

This popped up on my tl at just the right time. This was really good for me to hear.

I feel you Theo. What a genuine spirit.

Parents do the best they can. Don’t forget they were also hurt by imperfect parents.

If your Holding a grudge youv already lost it is letting someone live rent free in your head.

I feel like it's almost impossible to forgive. I still live with the parent that caused so much damage, & they still do all the things that hurt me before. How do you forgive and accept someone as they are and create healthy boundaries when you so badly want the right kind of love & acceptance from. My personality depends on how they treat me. I only love myself as much as I feel they love me. If I think they feel I'm bad, then I tell myself I'm bad. How do you set a boundary and how do you say to yourself - this is who they are and this is all they know. I have to be the bigger person but I don't understand how to be.

Theo much love, respect & gratitude 🙏 I truly miss and appreciate my parents more now than before

I'm having a really hard time with this.

Going through the same thing. 8+ years of therapy and I still struggle. Getting better though. Profound video, profound responses. What a bunch of fucking legends! Kisses Theo!!

I love you 💕 Theo Von you’re so real, every thing you said is just right on the money. Keep moving forward. Blessings 🙌

God bless Theo 🙌 Its like God speaks through you sometimes You feel me Thankyou bro. Keeping it real 💯 percent

Sometimes it's harder and more difficult to try to have someone in your life, even a parent who if they are just likely to do the same again in that case maybe it's better to just rise above and do your best to forget

God this was deep and felt it in my core, great words

God bless the one's that struggle 🙏 prayers said from south Louisiana Cajun County

I’m a mom struggling with a relationship with my young son. I’ve had so much trauma growing up and I am desperately trying to get out of bad habits. If anyone has any recommendations on books or papers to study please let me know. Seeing Theo talk about this breaks my heart and I want more than anything to fix this before it’s a problem in our lives.

Tough love or unconditional love. They are our closest of kin. Got to be obediant and learn life lessons from real parents and not some person in an institution.

Thank you.

Very well said Theo. Thank you. Very timely for me.

Beautiful brother, thanks.

Thanks

One day at a time baby PTL

This content is so PROFOUND and wise!!

I'm just seeing this channel. Wow Theo. That was pretty awesome. Thank you for the mature conversation. We can't control others. I don't know much of your story but this is thing I've learned about having and being a parent, we are all just doing the best we can. 💗

Bless you theo

I lost my mother before I could get a chance to forgive her and let go. Life is too short to have hatred towards people over mistakes that everyone makes, everyone faces their own "demons".

Yes to Self-forgivness❣Walking the Path🙏

For a long time all I've had was my anger from a young age. 😪 very, very true

As much as people may write Theo off has silly or whatever, that shit hit me hard! Thanks, Theo.

Love you buddy

Theo, the anger protected us from pain and fear. The pain of not having the right love from parents. Fear rides from the bad guy in the fiery pit. Acceptance. Have you forgiven yourself? How can you forgive anyone if you cannot forgive yourself?

Really resonated with me

Thanks Theo- I like when you open up a little bit. This was nice

Thanks Theo.

Theo Von you were called to preach boy bring it brotha

Thank you Theo 🙏🏽

Theo has clearly done a lot of shadow work. What a terrifying journey; worth it in the end.

Real deal sh*t right here. 100%

He has a very peculiar way of explaining things, it's like going to the moon but from the other side or going overthere from overhere. At the end it really makes sense...

Love this Theo...wise...

My mother raised me on her own. She tried her best. But wasn't her best. She would loose her shit and beat me. Sling dishes or whatever she had at me. For many years I felt I wasn't enough. She drilled the idea that I wasn't greatful. Now im nearly 30. Life is tough to deal with. Im constantly berating myself. Telling myself im not good enough.. ya know? And I'm trying my best. To forgive. To heal. To finally have my mom... but its hard sometimes man to pick up the phone and try. damn theo. Made me spill it.

Forgiveness isn’t an option but a requirement! Remember how much God has forgiven you.