Therapist Reacts RAW to Calling Exes 

The excitement of "Oh, cause I cheated" was the excitement of knowing the right answer. I think before that he didn't understand what she was asking, so when he finally figured it out, he was like, "Oh! Cause I cheated!" DING! DING! DING! Like there was gonna be some sort of cash prize for matching answers.

My last relationship: After we were dating for a few months, she broke up with me mostly out of the blue, giving a very generic "it's not you it's me, I need time and space, etc." I was very unhappy and confused about it because I thought she was great and I was falling in love. I had told her a few days prior that she was the best thing to happen to me in a long time, and for a while I thought that line had scared her off. I found out a few weeks later that she was now dating her male roommate. They had been friends for a long time but nothing had ever happened between them. What I think happened was the guy saw things were getting more serious between us, decided he needed to shoot his shot, and she chose him over me. She never owned up to that and we never spoke again, so I'll probably never know. I'm not sure what happened to her. This was 10+ years ago. All I know is she and the roommate didn't work out and she moved out of state (no idea if those two facts are related). The kind of funny flip side is this friend of mine realized she had feelings for me while my ex and I were dating, and a bit after my ex broke up with me, the two of us got together. We've been married for almost 9 years.

I wish I was brave enough to do this. But I am aftaid that I would be told that I was not enough and that he dose not care anymore.

my last relationship didnt work out cause im 1. traumatized 2. on birthcontrol both of which borked up my sex drive but she was hypersexual and constantly wanted to go at it and i just did not breakup was nasty but were friends now, she's a much better friend than girlfriend lol

My physical boundaries were forcibly crossed... 🙁 I refused to even speak to him after that day.

Yesterday, my ex told me he needed to talk to me about "something serious" and sounded extremely worried. I feared he had signs of cancer, kidney disease, liver disease, something awful (heavy, functioning alcoholic). When I told my best friend about it, she called me and told me he got someone who I considered a sister, pregnant. I. Couldn't. Stop. Laughing. It was like something FINALLY snapped after 6+ years of gaslighting, abusive comments, SA, etc. I'm free. I have NO obligation to talk to either of them, and I don't want to. I'm not mad, except for the fact he kept trying to blame ME for HIM getting her pregnant. Good try dude, but I'm done. I feel bad about his situation buuuuut.... umm... it takes two to tango. Goodluck to both of them lmao

I do love the few who were just really mature about it like "I developed feelings for someone else and I didn't want to go behind your back about it" KING "we had different needs" VALID AS HELL AND I APPLAUD YOU FOR DEALING WITH THAT

I think this is an interesting experiment but I think it can sometimes do more harm than good, especially when the ex says something which makes you doubt yourself or make you feel worse. Sometimes it is better to focus your energy on the people in your life who are worth it and accept you for who you are

10:45 That's the most joyful "Hello!" I have heard in a while. Haha. Find yourself someone who greets you on the phone like Brad does to his Ex

I ended a 3 year relationship last year. It was my first "proper" relationship i ever had with someone Im just really comfortable with. We broke up because we couldnt move together. As a result our lives changed drastically without each other. Thats why we decided to make more room for another to grow. We still are really good friends and nothing much has changed aside from the actually in a relationship. Technically we went from best friends to lovers to best friends. We actually made the deal to marry if we are still single in 30 years xD But rn its better to grow and learn how to adult some more. (We are both in our early 20s)

Three years ago I ended my relationship with my first long term boyfriend. It was the hardest decision to make, but it was ultimately best for both of us. There was a lack of communication, and even a lack of willingness to work on it. He was extremely avoidant and I was extremely anxious, so as you can expect, there were a lot of issues between us. We were both very young (20-22) and I have worked on myself so much since then that I would say my attachment style has shifted away from being anxious and more towards secure. He was never a bad boyfriend, which made it so much harder to make the decision. Now I'm in a much healthier relationship and I learned what I need from a partner from that experience. I'll always be grateful for that.

I'm a 26 y/o woman who's never been in a relationship and at this point I'm convinced that I'm never going to get to ruin a relationship.

My last ex (from 30 years ago!) contacted me out of the blue recently. At first it was a nice chat through memory lane, but then he started texting and asking me questions. I honestly couldn’t remember some things, and then in the middle of the night (it felt like those movie scenes where the background rushes up to the protagonist!) it all rushed back - the gaslighting, the lack of empathy, and finally the realization that he sexually assaulted me. I must have blocked it. Then I blocked his number. Creepy once, still creepy.

My ex was very abusive, I didn't realise that while in the relationship, I taugh he was perfect and healthy. When he was saying all kind of mean toxic stuff and I taught he was just being honest. At some point he raped me and after that I was telling him not to worry that I understand and hugging him. After relationship ended he turned all my friend against me. At first i felt like a poor, hopeless victim when I realised what he did. But now I see that a healthy person would walk away after someone telling them on the first date that they are boring and you're planing to cheat on them because you're young. I'm in theraphy learning about myself and why i stayed in this kind of toxic relationship for 3 years. It still hurts even tho i have an amazing boyfriend now. Everyday I think about it.

My ex and I, were able to stay friend and after discussing it, our issue was that we had different love and expectation languages. Little if anything we did seemed to make the other happy, and we both had the expectation that it would change or get better with time, but we both finally had to admit that it wasn't. Sometimes the issues are not "wrong or incorrect" behaviors but they are things that in the short term you can handle, but in the long term when you are with each other daily reaches a breaking point.

I ended a six year relationship because I was terrified of commitment after her proposed. He wanted so much from me but we were too immature. At the end of the day I felt like I was acting like his mother more than his partner and didn't want that for the rest of my life

back in my late teens I went out with this girl which I fell for really hard. It was the most intense I felt about a woman and I was actually doing really fine after the breakup. We got back in touch after like half a year and we kinda connected again but I was just not prepared to deal with the intensity and the jealousy that came along with it among other things. We weren't actually back together but it felt like it was going in that direction, but I was too open about it to her parents (her mother drove me to the train station and we just kinda talked about me being back in her life) and everything just ended when I got home. Took me several years to get past that whole ordeal because I just couldn't let go, but when I got over it, we had a little text chat where I apologized and talked about where it went wrong and I actually got closure from that, and I am really grateful that she responded and had that talk with me, because I wasn't giving her enough space the first two years after the second break up (I'd wish her happy birthday every year despite us not being on good terms and once I drove to her place and asked if we could just talk. She said no and I left, but in hindsight I realized it was really invasive of me to do that. Never did that again afterwards). It was definitely an eye-opening experience that taught me a lot about boundaries and expectations, even if it came with a lot of struggles.

I’ve only had two relationships. My first one didn’t work out because 1) we were both young and still learning about life and 2) he was dealing with some pretty serious mental health stuff. He actually broke up with me in a really mature way that showed he genuinely cared about me and my wellbeing, and to this day I still love him and wish him happiness! Part of why I knew my current partner was someone I could trust and that I wanted to start a relationship with was because when I told them that story, they weren’t jealous at all. They were glad that someone had been there to care about me and give me that good experience, and they also hoped he was doing better. I learned so much from my first relationship, and I wouldn’t be the same person without it!

I really fell for the long-distance guy. I had some great people come into my life, but all of them lived very far away and I am NOT good with keeping contact. Some of my close friends also confronted me about the issue. I am feeling very bad about it ,cause I am 100% sure if I had gotten together with that one guy we would be still together 🥺🥺

Most of my relationships ended because of differences in maturity. I often was put into the mother role instead of partner because that is what they were looking for and my nurturing personality. My last relationship he refused to grow up and be an adult who took care of their health, did chores, and got a job. He also would lie to make it seem like he was making improvements. I stayed much longer than I should have because I "loved him." After 3 years of a lot of pain and fighting I finally let go. Now I'm married to a lovely man who is my equal partner. One of the things I think that helped make this relationship work is we built it on communication. It was so important to us that very early on that we sat down and told each other our dating history so we would know each other's triggers. This means we both are comfortable to say "hay, what you are doing right now is triggering/upsetting me" and that the other will stop what they are doing and ask what they need to do in order to avoid doing it again. I don't think we have ever had a fight. Instead we have had discussions, where each party says what they are seeing and feeling and we work together on a solution.

My last relationship (the one before I married my current husband) didn't work out because of culture differences. He was from the US and I am from the Netherlands. His morals, way of living and the way he communicated was very different from what I was used to. Especially the communication was a problem. And the long distant relationship of course. Oh, and he was also very paranoid, secretly checking my emails, changing my password randomly when he found "suspicious things (that happened way back before I met him ofc)" He changing my words completely to make them mean the oposite thing and then picked fights about them. O, and he also "borrowed" my money cuz there was always some bad thing happening in his life (losing jobs, something in his house broke, his bike broke and he needed money for busses, etc). Ofc he never paid it back.

My past exes were all selfish jerks, You couldn't pay me to call them. HAHA! My husband is the best man on the planet. Jonathon, I love your comment from your Hitch video about how you weren't ready to date until you realized you would be ok without them. That is the best advice ever! You have to love yourself before you can truly learn to love another person.

My last relationship didn't work out because I have avoidant-fearful attachment style, and he was highly avoidant. So when I tried to pamper him and make him happier it just pissed him off that I'm making a lot of noise around him. He also hated my dog. I'm doing a pause for therapy right now.

I have a hard time liking the person I become when I'm in a relationship... And because I think my relationship with myself is most important, I avoid relationships for the most part. This was really interesting, tho!

This was interesting. I feel bad for the people who heard “would to want to get back together” and thought that they had a chance. I’m friends with a few exes and I could see having this conversation… But as he said, I would never want to lead them on.

My gosh, I would never do this even for a million dollars. I mean, it's been more than 20 years since I have had an Ex and I wouldn't know how to contact him again. But I'm happy not to ever see him again. My husband is a much better person than he was. It's funny actually, my ex tried to contact me to get back together about a year and a half after we broke up. I was happily dating my now husband. We both had a pretty good laugh about it because he didn't treat me well from the get go which my hubby knew when we started dating (long story). We didn't actually date very long but we had been friends for a little bit first. I can see for some of these folks it was a good conversation and for others it didn't look like they wanted to know.

Doing this with my soon to be ex wife was actually one of the better growing experiences for me. Originally she asked for divorce because she tealized she was a lesbian, then after the initial pain process and we were back to being friends, we talked and she admitted that even if she hadnt come out she may have left because of other things (i was admittedly not quite ready to love another person, i was struggling with myself and put all my validation through her, and was a bit emotionally manipulative, admittedly) and it was good for me to talk about what I could do better (and what I even did well) Also, a maybe more niche topic if you havent done it already is how to handle a partner "coming out of the closet". I know for me it was a bit of a whirlwind of emotions: anger, guilt over being angry, "am i justified?", "did she lie to me?", "is it my fault?", "everyone is celebrating her bravery, but nobody is addressing my pain", etc. We are definitely good now and ive learned a lot more empathy through it, but may be interesting.

I've always felt that I had a little internal therapist telling me why people do the things they do which helps me understand where they are coming from and how to have compassion for them. Even as a child, I was able to understand why my step dad was a semi-emotionally abusive jerk (his own dysfunctional childhood) and was able to love him while not loving his behavior. Unfortunately, I was completely blind to all the stupid things I did in relationships for the longest time (it is incredibly cringe worthy how clingy I was in my first relationships.... LOTS of daddy issues). When I outgrew being clingy, I then had to learn how to continue to have compassion for others and their issues, BUT also how to set boundaries where their issues didn't control my life. My last relationship was the master class in setting boundaries. He had mommy issues and had decided that I was exactly like his mother so it was perfectly ok to blame me for everything that was wrong in his life. And just when I was on the verge of breaking up with him because I WAS learning to set boundaries, I found out I was pregnant. As toxic as he was, I weighed very seriously whether or not to tell him about the baby. I only briefly considered getting back together with him. His behavior after learning about the baby made that an impossibility. One thing I learned from my mom's relationships is that I'd rather be destitute on my own than subject my children to the tensions of a toxic relationship. We've mostly managed to co-parent our daughter without causing her too many of her own issues with our inability to get along (he's mostly a good dad but has trouble understanding her due to her being autistic). Most of our arguments over the years have taken place in texts. I have had to threaten to take him to court, block him several times, and insist he contact me through my parents so he would stop spamming my texts with mean messages. He has mostly calmed down but he still occasionally can't stand it when things are going too well so he will try to stir something up. But I have learned how to shut him down pretty efficiently so it doesn't usually last long. I am happy to have gotten to this point because I know that, because of my daughter, he will likely be in my life in some form or other for pretty much ever. When the majority of our interaction is peaceful, I call that a win.

Wow..People say I'm weird still being friends with my exes..Sure it was awkward for a year or two..But after that it was water under the bridge..Some of them wanted to discuss about it..And we did and accept it..Some wanted to discuss about it years later and still i listened..But they were all good..We accepted our differences and personal flaws.

I was just thinking... a good video topic might be a general guide to how a therapy session might go? Or how to prepare for one? Or some of the types of methods therapists use with their patients? You could do a first session, and then talk about how future sessions might look based on hypotheticals. Every time I see a therapist, I never make it past session 3, I feel like I have the same first session over and over and over again. I talk about what I'm concerned with and the parts of my life that concern me, and they say something like, "wow, that must've been very difficult to go through" or "Wow, you're so strong." And if we even get to a second or third session, I'm taking an IQ test (apparently I'm too smart to be depressed), or sent to do group therapy (CBT is interesting, and nice to have a name to what I've been calling "compassion and not thinking about yourself and your own perspective all the time"- but I feel like I helped other people more than I got help) and then I don't get to see the therapist at all for months, and when I can finally get an appointment, I feel like I'm trying to start a conversation with them, but they don't respond and it feels awkward and I feel like I'm doing something wrong, or not giving them the right question. I feel like there's a wall between me and the therapist. I get a lot of sentiments and expressions about how hard it must be. I know how hard it is. I'm living it. I don't need confirmation, I need guidance. I've been to five different therapists over ten years and it's always the same. So at this point I must be doing something wrong. Anyway, it would be interesting, in a YT channel that talks about therapy, to take people through what they can usually expect from their therapist, how to judge how frequent the visits should be if they don't give you any kind of schedule or talk about any kind of future date to meet again. Obviously things change depending on the specific people involved, and personal schedules, but it'd be nice to know how to prepare and be better self-assured when diving into it.

I'm also married and don't have my past boyfriends' phone numbers, so I could never do this. But I do sometimes wonder why they think it didn't work out, and I also hope they're doing okay. Most of all I hope they have been able to process it and move on.

Question for you, why do some of us, get back together, break up, and repeat with an ex?

I don’t need to call any of my exes to know why we broke up because they all land in at least one of three categories: I broke up with them I found out why they broke up with me afterwards I don’t care what their reason is because the way they did it was reason enough for me not to care anymore.

My last relationship didn't work out because I became toxic, overbearing, and suffocating. I messed up a lot and projected that onto him. Single until I can get to the root of the problem and work on myself.

When we are done, we are done, and that means your phone number exits my phone. Wouldn't be able to participate in this roller coaster of an emotional exercise. I've never been able to just hold on to numbers, so I personally find it interesting that so many have at least one ex in the phone book.

I would really love to see you react to the video game It Takes Two. The entire game is a couple's therapy session!

Can you review the character Barney Stinson from the show "How I met your mother"? He would be an interesting character study.

Well, in answer to your question, my ex and I are no longer together because I broke it off. He was emotionally abusive, and I somehow subconsciously saw that and got out of the relationship. He was also stepping out on me - a LOT. I knew of 3, and then found out about 5 MORE. Basically, I wasn't enough woman for him *looks at her waistline* and I'm MORE than enough woman for anyone! LOLHowever, it did come at a price, and the price was the friendship of some really lovely people, who only saw me (I must have seemed pretty flighty back then) just up and leaving. I started dating another person really soon after (I admit to being checked out of the relationship long before it ended), and there were many who dubbed him a "rebound guy." Well, after 22 years of marriage and 4 kids, I think this one is a little more than a rebound...

My last relationship (which was my first one) ended because we were leaving high school, would be going to go to college, then he was going to go on a religious mission, and never having been in a relationship before I wanted to hold on to him, try to go to the same super strict religious college and wait for him to return. But he insisted on breaking it off. That isn't what I really wanted for myself and I'm so glad it ended. I would not have been happy in that situation. He was also not a very emotionally open person and when he would get moody he would just stop talking to me, leaving me to wonder if I did something. Fast forward some years to now, I am married to a man who is so open and holds the space for me to be authentically myself. We communicate well and support each other as individuals and I'm so grateful for that! He's my best friend and I love spending time together. Also that ex is now married himself and got to follow his religious goals, and the couple seems very happy!

Honestly he never gave me a reason why he broke up with me but if I had to guess we were really young, we got together the summer between freshman and sophomore year of highschool, and I was ready for something a lot more serious than he was to be honest. I have never been one to date for the fun of it;I date for marriage because that's just the kind of person I am, and he was my first love, but I think all of my talk about a future and getting marriaged and having kids someday scared him off. He was a teenage boy and he wasn't ready to be thinking about that kind of commitment which is completely understandable we were together a little iver 6 months. I had one minor relationship with a friend after that. He was a bit younger than me and really immature and just didn't workout at all. It only lasted a couple weeks, but not long after that ended I met my now fiance. We were on the same page right from the start because and this point I knew how to go into a relationship without being afraid to be honest about my expectations. He new right away that I was in that I was looking for something serious that had the potential to end in marriage and I wasn't interested in anything sexual for a while, I'm demi-sexual so I have to have a strong emotional bond to feel sexual attraction plus I wasn't looking to be a teen mom. He understood and we make 7 years this May and have been engaged for the last 3

Recently ended a 6 year long friendship. I am currently going through some really rough trauma work and I felt unable to communicate my needs to him and effective establish boundaries. I just couldnt keep putting myself through that and punish myself for going through stuff.

That dude who unblocked that guy and then said he loves him always and blocked him again is a psychopath 100%. The fact everyone lets him get away with it and laughs is unnerving. Life on easy mode.

My last relationship didn’t work out because I wanted a partner who was willing to take an active role in a mature relationship. While he initially said he wanted that too, the truth came out eventually. In the end, I supported him while he had an extended childhood. After a while, I couldn’t take it anymore, and I had to move on. I later discovered that he was also cheating on me. The most important takeaway from that relationship came after when I went into therapy because I kept asking myself, “Why did he treat me like trash when I worked so hard to be good to him?!” My therapist said that it wasn’t as helpful to ask the “why” questions, but I should be asking myself, “What can I learn from this experience?” That question changed everything for me. I had some immediate answers, and other realizations years later. When I have a bad experience now in any aspect of my life (work, school, many different kinds of relationships, etc.), I look back on it and ask myself, “What can I learn from this?”

Even when married or in a relationship, doing "after action reviews" are a good idea

Why did my last relationship end? I left my emotionally abusive husband when he threatened to kill me. We were fighting and I realized my daughter would grow up thinking the gaslighting was normal. So I said I was done and he threatened to kill me. Was the relationship healthy on me end too? No. I didn’t handle the abuse well and made a bad situation more toxic. I freely admit that.

Will you do a segment on how seemingly "romantic" songs are actually examples of unhealthy relationships and disasters waiting to happen. Then find songs that describe characteristics of healthy relationships. It seems so many songs are more about obsession and lust than love. Yes, I'm talking a lot about 80s songs because I'm actually pretty ignorant to today's Top 40 songs, but having observed celebrity culture for many years, I doubt it's much different. I feel like patterns of unhealthy relationships in songs just keeps perpetuating through each generation.

My ex and I would have made great friends. We had a great time together, had a lot of the same friends and interests, liked the same music and got a long really well at first. We started off doing really well. We both wanted to be in a relationship, which was great, and we had good chemistry. Where we started to grow apart was that we wanted different things for our lives. He wanted to keep bartending, going out, and drinking and playing in his band, and I went to graduate school for social work. I wanted to move, get married, and have children. It didn't happen over night but looking back I definitely saw where we shouldn't have been in a serious relationship. The more I realized I was dating someone that reminded me of a my dad; fun and passionate about things but inconsistent and a party guy, I wanted to change him; I am healing as a fixer and people pleaser. The more I was moving towards my goals he moved further from wanting marriage and kids. We honestly just wanted different things and different lives from the beginning but our emotions and chemistry had us thinking that we were a great match. Also, the way we fought, was a huge indicator that we weren't a healthy match. nothing physically abusive but inconsistent, not on the same team, and just talking at each other, the gottman's would definitely say they saw all of the 4 Horseman in our arguments.

I already know why it didn’t work out between me and my ex. He is gay. Don’t need a phone call for clarification! 😂 We were childhood friends and are still very good friends now, despite what happened. Much love and peace to those going through a break up right now. It’s hard, but you come out stronger in the end if you’re honest about everything.❤

This is so very poignant; my ex messages me every time he goes through a breakup. He did so this week and then this video pops up.

I started a whole podcast talking about the things I did wrong in a relationship but I ended up sending one of the eps to my ex and he said it was really neat to hear my side of things so it's ex approved

My last relationship didn't work out as I tried for around a year to break up with him, but every time I tried to break up he gaslit me into thinking all the issues were my fault and I just wasn't trying hard enough. There wasn't any trust in the relationship on my side, and I told him this, but he never tried to fix that. Finally when we got to the end of the first year of uni he broke up with me 'because it is summer'. He just wanted me to help him get through the first year of uni and then left me high and dry with all these mental health issues. Supposedly he didn't want me to leave him as I had no friends before, and that day I was going to meet up with someone, who he assumed I would make friends with. It was really fucked up and weird. I was just in complete shock when he told me that on skype. If I saw him again I would tell him what a piece of shit he was to me.

With my exes, I have very few negative feelings towards them. I think that with most of them it came down to basic incompatibility. I don't think I dated any of them for more than a year. They either needed things I couldn't provide or vice versa or we were not as good with communicating as we should have been (2 had asbergers). Very interesting exercise.

I swear! You are the BEST PERSON in the internet right now! Please, LET US PROTECT YOU

This was very painful. I got broken up with and he wouldn’t give a reason, and I tried months later to figure out and just made it worse. 😭

My ex was manipulative and controlling - complete with narcissistic tendencies and a consistent pattern of lying. He was good at tricking me into thinking I was in love with him and making me think he respected me. He also used religion to be with me while not taking it seriously himself. Breaking up was a mess as his overly clingy behavior began to surface and I realized what he was really like. And the best part? The truth came out about him banging others girls before and while dating me. That was more than enough to make me cut ties with him for good. Recently, he texted me apologizing, but he's already married to someone else. Needless to say, I blocked his new number without responding.

Awww the last relationship was SO cute! 🥰

my last relationship didnt work out because im a very independent person, but during lockdown was the first time i needed support and my ex fiance who i was with for 5 years didnt offer any, he would get mad i didnt bring in enough money anymore, that i didnt cook dinner while i was depressed, that i didnt sleep with him enough (he was trying to fix my asexuality on top of it all) i'm not broken and i dont need to compromise my comfort for love, and if you cant support me i'll leave and take care of myself

My only ex was a 2.5 year relationship we mutually ended. We both felt we needed to be apart basically because we were both in two different places and he wasn’t ready for what I wanted next in life. It started as a break with possible reunion but ended up being a breakup. A year later I met my now husband and realized that while my relationship with my ex was good, there were better things ahead. Compatibility makes a huge difference, as well as maturity.

My first serious realitionship with comebacks everytime we see each other again on birthdaypartys once to two times in a year (nothing like sex more spending time together, hugging and rly deep conversations), this goes on for over three years now. The problem is that we can`t rly resist each other mainly I guess because we have both the feeling that we aren`t fell understood by a lot people because we are both very emotional intelligence and can understand each other like no person we ever meet bevore. The sad thing is that we can`t be friends (we tried but it didn`t worked out because we both had feelings for another) but in a realitionship it`s just is not possible for him to give me the love and secure I need, my picture of the realionship is way more romantic than his.

Oh man, I feel like this can be so risky. I believe it can be dangerous to reopen a door that had already been closed. It's like being in a hallway, and you had closed a door because there was flooding in the other side. And when it was still open, it was sweeping through the halls and into other rooms, whether it belonged there or not. Whilst even if the door was opened again, it can be closed again, one would still have to deal with the mess and the process of drying out afterwards. I don't know if this analogy makes much sense, but that's how I've come to see it, haha! Of course, not in ever situation. Closure can indeed be a very healthy thing to gain, if both parties are willing to to be understanding and genuine. Thank you for the video, Jonathan! I always look forward to them.

"I wonder if anyone walked out." I would have lol. I'm not into opening up that can of worms. Especially if I'm supposed to ask if they would consider getting back together

My ex and I recently discussed it after a number of years of mutual separation. It was very cathartic :)

Disney is happiness, Jono, what were you thinking?! My stuff from my last relationship is that I should have listened to all the red flags and said "get lost" instead of being bullied into starting a relationship with him.

I broke up with my first boyfriend (i was 18) because i realized that I didn't actually want to be in a relationship. I felt really bad at the time because he was a lovely guy who had done nothing wrong... But it turned out to be the exactly right thing to do. It's been 20 years now, he married a friend of mine and they have two great kids. I haven't been in a relationship since and that feels just right for me. That said - i honestly wouldn't want to have that conversation after all this time.

I tried to ask why it didn’t work or where we stand and he blew up on me 😕 he apologized but what he said still bothers me.

I dont have any exes numbers in my phone.

Last relationship I was in was a long term relationship. 3 1/2 years living together for 2 of them. I had rose tinned glasses on for too long. He drained my energy like a vampire. Blaming it on my work. He also drained my wallet which I somehow ignored for far too long. I threw him out and it felt like I could breathe again. And things drastically improved for me.

I only have 2-3 exs that I still give a damn about. My last 2 relationships were manipulative and abusive. Truly, I'm in a healthy relationship now and I'm not interested in reaching out to my exes. Maybe 1 in particular but I already know there was some underlying stuff going on when we broke up. She was dealing with identity issues & I was clingy, to put it mildly. Now I'm just working with my therapist to figure out how to move forward & be the best partner I can be to my current girlfriend ❤ We both have a lot of trauma in our pasts but we're working through it day by day with a lot of honest communication

Can't call your ex if you don't still have their number. If you do have their number, you aren't over them.

"I wasn't supportive" and "I wasn't supportive enough" are two different things. He sounded pretty defeated and like his self worth was significantly impacted as opposed to lackadaisical imo.

At first, he (my last ex) was good at faking being empathetic person. He was not. Hardly even sympathetic. Towards anybody. Talked non-empatethically even about his best friends he had known for decades. I would say he was 40-year old teen, but that would be mean to teens as most of them are more emotionally mature than him. When I said, I wanted to break up, the answer was: "What have I now done?" And "do you have already somebody new then?" 🙄 Not much self reflection would have been needed for him to realize he was often quite mean to me. Those questions reflect quite well his internal world tough. Also, as he was using time and time again "should we separate" card, when I tried to explain why I was hurt by his actions, me wanting to separate shouldn't have been a surprize. He was not willing to change even a bit to make his life better. Let alone to make our life better... In other break ups, there is mutual understanding between me and ex, why we did not work out. And it is 2 way street. We were not good for each other. But with this last ex...nope. I doupt if he still would know now, 5 years after break-up, what was his part of things not working out. He probably remembers himself as perfect and me as only reason for break up. Thank god, it ended in 5 months.

I was part of a small fling ig. We had been friends for about 3 years, and we kissed and spent some time together before he moved away. He initiates the texts. I leave him alone to grow and be by himself. But when he texts, we go back to being friends. Every time this happens, his feelings for me come back. I feel so bad bc I miss him as a friend, and I've made that very clear. He hasn't been in another romantic relationship since we had our fling, so I know he misses the feeling, and not me specifically. I'm currently in a very happy, healthy relationship w someone else, but I can't help but feel like him and my bf could be good friends. I still wish him the best and I really do miss him.

I have to admit, I wouldn't answer if any of my exes called. Not because I hate any of them (Okay, one was an @$$#!;!!) , I've just moved on. I'm not the same person I was when I dated them.

Loved it. Ummmm . . . I don't need to call anyone. I had far too many expectations and it was definitely me! Well, usually! LOL

Sometimes I wish he would ask me this so I could really explain what a jack animal he was.

He didn't want kids and I did. A week later I met my future husband. :) We've been very happily married for 5 years and we have two beautiful children!

my ex texted me sumn along the lines of "lets just be friends" and my response was no exaggeration "okay". it was in the high of covid, we wasnt seeing eachother we werent talking as often (which i think was a big part of the relationship we had) and went to different schools. i think we just, like, fell out of it. lost feelings. after that convo we just never spoke again. i dont regret the relationship, i dont hate her, there were no fights, there was no dramatic anything, we just grew apart. although i never heard her point of view and i wonder if she also felt the distance i did and thats why she made the move. thoughts on that-?

Movie trailer line: They wanted free Disney... He just wanted to be happy...

I'm a narcissist magnet. I ended them all. I have enforced boundaries now, and now one asks me out or shows an interest. Lol 😆 single is good 👍

it didn’t work out with my ex because im asexual. i tried to tell them that but they still believe i was lying and it was another reason. 😓 wish i could find someone who wants to just be in a romantic relationship with me without the other stuff.

I love how he loved the bunny girl and said she looked like the most fun to be in a relationship with... As a bi, i agree she looks way cute and fun c: I could not do this even if i wanted to, i don't have, my exes numbers, i also in most cases was the one breaking up, as the relationships was founded in nothing most of the times. I have contact to one ex and we did talk about it and is good friends, we were not a good match and that was it :P But i don't get why people keep their exes numbers unless they are friends?.. Having their number bc of a child is fair too..

jus broke up w myboyfriend today cause mine n his sense of humour didnt line up and i felt very sexualised beyond my comfort level. i feel bad cause hes a good dude but he needs someone that laughs at his jokes and appreciates how he shows affection n vice versa

i honestly dont know how people keep exes numbers and stuff like unless you are still friends why would you still have their number to call? idk just seems weird to me

She cheated on me so we decided to take a break for her to decide what she wants and she decided she's not type for serious relationships (after 2 years of serious relationship). Later she claimed there always have to be two for break up and that we didn't have enough common activities (I was the only one suggesting any common activities for quite a long time). I tend to blame myself for most stuff that goes wrong in my life, but in this case I did everything I could. I only regret that I didn't break up with her myself sooner and that I didn't somehow deal with hate and anger after break up sooner, because it took quite a long time and left me much more bitter than I was before.

Love this reaction video! Also, sometimes people just aren't compatible for a variety of reasons, and that's ok too

I think there is a valid reason why you thrive as a Therapist, Jonathan. First, you are not judgmental. Most of people I know, including me, will jump into personal assumption and it takes time for me to step back and dust it off because it is not my life nor my stage. I am still working on that but you do it with ease. Second is how you can find the appropriate humour out of it. I think it is a huge advantage in dissecting conflict in our life to keep it lighter, thus able to process it through much positive lenses. I think I will benefit a lot from that skill, like for real. Kudos to you and your team! Such a joy to the world.

I ended my 2 years marriage with an abusive person. He always blamed it on me when something went wrong and especially when I got pregnant he said it was my fault. He called me names, he said I am ugly and stupid. I left him for good 10 years ago and never looked back.

I think this is interesting because I kinda wish I could have a phone call like that with one of my exes. One of the main reasons why we didn't work out is because it was a straight relationship (I'm more attracted to men) and the expectations of gender roles were too high for my comfort. Surprisingly a couple years later he came out as a trans man, I kinda want to give that relationship another shot but also don't want to ruin our friendship. Of course another big reason is because I just wasn't trying hard enough.

Relationships, such as they were, did not work out for me because I am ace/aro.

Awesome content as always! You've helped me through a lot, thank you.

I love just watching you laugh when you find out what the producers requested for you! lol

Wow. They would have to pay me A LOT of money to call any of my exes.

I only had 3 relationships in the past and I endet 2 of them. First one was when I was 17 and I and him simply was to young + his father hated my guts because I wasn´t wealthy. 2. I ended because I was more focused and invested in my friendships, I wasn´t ready to do any compromises since I always thought "freindships can last a life, how are the odds a relationship would?" he deserved better in the end. He was really a great guy. 3. nearly the same thing. great guy, carried me on his hands without me even asking for that. he would always bring me flowers and care for me when I was sick. But again, I just couldn´t. I realized that I´m just not that kind of person who wants to share their life with someone else but their friends and family and I´m fine with that. I told him and after he was mad at me we are now friends and he has a girlfriend he loves dearly and she loves him back. I´m happy to be on my own :D

My last relationship ended amicably. We were graduating college. We weren't super serious and I knew we definitely wouldn't make it. So we ended things rather than trying to go long distance. That was almost 6 years ago. I recently discovered I'm aromantic. I wasn't in love with her the way I wanted to be because I don't experience romantic love. I do still feel love, but it's all platonic to me. So I need a life partner who will be able to understand that my love is different from theirs but it's no less real. I won't be able to love them exactly like they do but I still want to be with them always. We'll still be a family, and I can give them whatever they need from me physically, I'm totally fine with that. And I love snuggling. So I'm just hoping to find that person now. It's hard when I don't really get the chance to meet people in a setting that isn't at work.

Things didn't work out with my last ex because we were in different places in life/had different maturity levels. In addition, I was recovering from an abusive relationship, and it can be hard dating someone who is dealing with emotional baggage like I was...dating me was not easy and I don't think he was in the right frame of mind to support me the way I needed/wanted. It was for the best though. My next relationship after him, I met my husband and I am so thankful for the wonderful man I eventually married. Today though, I find myself feeling the insecurities from the abuse creeping back in and feeling like I was the only reason we broke up, because of how much of a mess I was/am...

You should do a video about adults who never been in a relationship or late bloomers who are not ace. I am one of them and I feel bad about it. Not because I want to be in relationship but because I think something is wrong with me because guys haven't had a crush on me.

There are a couple of exes that if they ever called me to ask why we broke up I would lay into them. I only realised how emotionally abusive they were once I left, and I wish I had told them how shit they were.

I don't even have any of my ex's contact details. Who keeps that on their phones?

My relationships mostly ended because I was fixated on fixing every "issue'" that would mess up my relationship and I was very argumentative because I was recovering from anorexia which wreaked havoc on my family relationships. I was 17. I didn't know how to advocate for myself intelligently, de-escalate situations, or speak my mind effectively. My only two relationships before my current one came 3 or so months after a traumatic event. My relationship now is going on 6 years, though.

Why would you still have an ex's phone number?