Therapist Reacts To: Hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have - but I have it by LDR 

My favorite lyric in this song is “don’t ask if I’m happy, you know that I’m not but at best I can say I’m not sad” and that’s how I feel a lot of the time

When Lana says "I'm not" it is a clear allusion to Sylvia Plath: "I am me, I am myself..." relating her depression with Sylvia's, but saying the opposite of the phrase: "I am not me " parting with the writer's tragic story because Lana is a woman who still has hope.

During listing her new album I though when she sings "black narcissist" and in the next verse "she couldn't care less" she talks about her mother.

So happy you decided to react to this. NFR lived on my car stereo for a good solid year. Still can't believe Lana didn't win the Grammy for album of the year

if you listen to her older albums, lana sings about toxic men, toxic relationship, and self destruction with a sense of passivity and even romanticization (with lyrics like “He hit me and it felt like a kiss” and songs like Cola which is most likely about her past with Harvey Weinstein) People have deemed her a “bad feminist” and a bad example for women throughout her entire career (in a recent interview she talked about how someone literally threw a book about feminism at her when they saw her in public in the early ‘10s.) I think Lana feels some sort of guilt and shame for this and it really shows in this song. However, during an interview in the LFL era she cried about how she didn’t know what she wrote was wrong, she was just writing what she knew and that type of love is all she knew at the time. It’s sad really.

I think I remember when this song came out she said that there are so many meanings within the lyrics that no one but her knows about. Like you may never be able to decipher exactly what the words mean for her but they can mean something to you.

This is the ultimate BPD song. I listen to this song every time I'm having a bad mental health day.

Lana saying “got this black narcissist off my back” has always been interpreted as depression to me. There’s a very popular video on RU-vid where the “black dog” weighing a man down is used as an analogy for depression. It also makes sense in the context as depression involves hopelessness however, Lana is saying she still has hope.

"Hope" is the thing with feathers That perches in the soul, And sings the tune without the words, And never stops at all, -- Emily Dickinson

In addition to cataloging her personal struggles, I think the lines “There's a new revolution, a loud evolution that I saw/Born of confusion and quiet collusion of which mostly I've known/A modern day woman with a weak constitution” (and the whole album NFR) denotes the cultural undercurrent of being an AMERICAN woman at this time. This came out during the reign of, arguably, a “goddamn man child” (opening lines of NFR). I think her choice of words such as “collusion” “revolution, loud evolution” “weak constitution” are VERY intentional. The double meaning of “weak constitution” not protecting the rights of modern day women is certainly adding to her malaise. And much of Sylvia Plath’s writing about alienation was in conversation with the expected role of her to be the perfect all-American 1950s housewife (she writes about “sticky pearls”; Lana references debutantes in pink dresses). “Gatekeeper carelessly dropping the keys on my nights off” makes me think of A&W (there’s that American word again). Getting fucked up, lowering your inhibitions to lesson the pain, only to find that you’ve invited more abuse and trauma in (“monsters under my bed”), and as a woman it’s considered your fault. Good girls are diligent, chaste, would never show a crack in the facade. Basically it’s all set up to make it nearly impossible to thrive (DYKTATUOB) but despite that, maybe TO spite that, she has hope. Because for all the Americana fetishism she is accused of, she’s showing us that she has no illusions about what our country is, what it’s become, and an idyllic Rockwell painting over the mantelpiece it is not.

When I was 18 I was obsessed with Sylvia Plath. I read her poetry and The Bell Jar remains one of my favourite novels. Lana incapsulates her trauma in this song, recognizes the similarities in herself and yet emphasize that she is stronger and different - its relatable to me. This song will forever mean so much to me and what it means to be myself and be free.

Only just now watching this did I realize she changed the second the line “writing in blood on the walls cause the ink in my pen don’t look good in my notepad” to “writing in blood on your walls cause the ink in my pen don’t look good in my pad”. I think her changing “the walls” to “your walls” and “notepad” to “pad” is significant. She says before that second line, “gatekeeper carelessly tossing the keys on my nights off”. I think maybe this is referencing her finally getting the help she needs. She built up so many defenses but she’s reached a point where she’s ready to let others in and ask for help. Also pad could reference a home and pen could reference an enclosure. So maybe it’s a double entendre, saying her home feels like a prison. It reminds me of the Yellow Wallpaper. Writing on “your” walls is like a cry for help.

the way everybody got scared when this was released, there was even a trend where everybody said we loved her because most people thought she was retiring

I loved this reaction of yours ❤ I always interprated "the black narcissist" as a destructive part of Lana's personality: the depression, the addictions, the suicidal thoughts and a "gatekeeper carelessly dropping the keys on my nights of" as the nights when she feels week and those issues come back, because she's not guarding herself on those nights. I appreciate your input about Sylvia Plath, in many reactions to this song that I saw ppl were unfamiliar with her and did't cought the meaning while this is an important part for interprating this song.

This song was one of the first that I truly connected to her with…. As a recovering addict myself, it often feels like having hope IS a dangerous thing. I grew up with a pessimistic parent, and in my 30s I’ve just recently in the last couple years after 4 years of therapy and 8 years clean, I am seeing things so much differently. It’s okay to have dreams or goals or hope! I have been terrified of failure and terrified of success for a very long time. Stuck in one spot. Lost myself for a long time and now I’m becoming the woman that I always have been and didn’t realize it until the fog and blurred vision dissipated. 🖤

Thank you for taking the time to analyze Lana's songs. So many reactors just skate past the surface level of the words without bothering to go deeper into them. You do a wonderful job!!!❤❤❤

I think the “black Narcissist” part she is talking about her mother. Is very well known that lana doesn’t have a good relationship with her mother.

She grew up in a highly religious environment. I feel like this talks about her religious trauma and her addictions that came from the pain of being in a strict Christian atmosphere.

I always felt like, "serving up God." , :Hello, it's the most famous woman" ...was referring to AA or NA. After listening to Ocean Boulevard the, "black narcissist" line feels like it's about her mother.

actually the black narcissist line is about a person, it’s about her mother and about how she used parties and drinks as an escape of her mother’s narcissistic abuse. i think “modern day woman with a weak constitution” relates to the idea of her post “question for the culture” which rubs ppl the wrong way bc she mentioned 3 black women among the 5 women she mentioned as an example but she was talking about how even if feminism is a good thing and a necessity for the society to become equal, the feminist community still treats fragility as a bad thing for women, like, radical feminism considers ultra femininity as some kind of weakness so i guess it’s just her saying the same thing as the question for the culture post, but now in a poetic way, it’s maybe her trying to say “i can be a feminist and also be a fragile, broken and rebuilt person, i wanna be included in this group of strong people, i can be strong even if i’m fragile”. i could be wrong tho, it’s just an interpretation

You’re right about ‘the black narcissist’. It is the dark version of herself.

This is my FAVOURITE song by Lana, so happy to see you react to it!

This song really reminds me of a feeling I have sometimes, a desire to be weak, to just stop fighting, to be an obedient housewife, not a feminist, not a fighter. Maybe gatekeep can be in relation to that? Instead of not wanting to conform it's wanting to conform, wanting to give up and be a 1950's stereotype and there's these gatekeeping on what being a modern woman is, and that's such a strong person who would never be tempted to give up her own autonomy just to be at peace for a while. For me, this song sounds like she's talking about this feeling of being a bad feminist. Even Sylvia Plath is a feminist icon from the 1950's, so, it just make sense to hear this song like this to me.

Blood on the wall could be a reference to another poet who took his own life, but before on the same day wrote a poem ''Goodbye, my friend, goodbye'' in his blood from his veins because he was out of ink (Jesenjin)

i’m loving all these lana reactions! she has SO MUCH to show and there are so many great things and meanings on her lyrics that most people tend to overlook! she talks about past and personal experiences in her own language with her own codes and references and even if we don’t get everything we still feel involved and find a meaning for ourselves is magical

TRIGGERING WARNER⚠️: In the A&W song, she mentions a phrase like, "watching a teenage girl's diary thinking about what went wrong", this film she mentions tells a story in which the underage protagonist has an affair with her MOTHER's boyfriend, but he hits on her and she seeks acceptance and love from him. As she so often cites her bad relationship with her mother, I can't help but associate the line "shaking my ass is the only thing that gets this black narcissist off my back" with her mother's boyfriend after her parents divorced, and " she couldn't care less and I couldn't care more" like her mother's lack of attitude, and it's a guess, but what if Lana's mother's boyfriend tried to hits on her and her mother even blamed the Lana for this, showing what a great narcissist her mother is and explaining her bad relationship with her daughter. This is not the first case where a narcissistic mother treats her daughter as competition and is jealous of her with her partners. And the "hope" she cites is to take her own life, because of the pain of living with an abuser and a mother who blames you for being abused

So happy you’re reacting to this it’s one of my fave Lana songs

Im interpreting it as her seeing two sides of her self. The battle within herself. Good and bad. The dark triad!

Thank you for doing these, I really appreciate your work ❤ greetings from Finland 🇫🇮! Also: “she couldn’t care less and I never cared more” -I feel it’s either her mother OR alter of herself bc “monsters still under my bed that I could never fight off, A gatekeeper carelessly dropping the keys on my nights off” (the other her isn’t taking good care of her.) But yeah that’s how I see it.

Simply a beautiful poem, she so deep, sweet and hard to listen to...

Lana has an unreleased song named "Driving in Cars with Boys" that has a happy tune but I think it also has sadness in it because of the lyrics. It has two lines that I just associated with "Hope [...]" because of your reaction. One is "They think I'm dangerous, they think I'm really bad, I'm just making up for what I never had, go out every night whenever I feel sad". The other one is "[...]drinking in the white noise [...], I spent my whole life wasted in bars with boys". I like this reaction because you really made me understand the parts of the lyrics that hadn't made sense to me from this song, relating it to AA and with partying to get away from your dark side. I already loved the song for the phrases I did understand, but now I love it even more. I can relate with it because I've struggled with mental health issues, and it was in my darkest phases that I used to party the most, drink the most, and let's say "hang out" the most with boys. I was trying to fool myself into thinking I was happy. I still like having fun, but now I don't do it out of "making up for what I never had...whenever I feel sad", which also changes the whole experience of it, like, now it's actual fun, not covering up with a mask. Thanks for another great video! I'm hitting the like button on each of your videos I've been watching :)

i think that when she says that she writes with blood on the walls it could be a reference to the Manson Family and like, the madness hope gives you (if i don’t remember wrong, this feeling appearance in Shawshank Redemption too). So, basically, the madness having hope can give you, but she still has it❤️

I click the like button before even watching the whole video just because I genuinely appreciate your efforts in deciphering Lana's songs, no matter which one. I'm a psychologist myself and the fact of how a song gives rise to multiple interpretations with so much content and references is something that I find fascinating, that's what makes her music art.

Pink dresses on white yachts is a reference from the bell jar

I love your interpretations of this song! it always reminds me of 'Écriture féminine' and the notion that women write in white. exploring how a woman's actions are criticised and focused on rather than our words and opinions.

I recently discovered your videos and I truly enjoy them so much. Your perspective on things is so unique, it’s so soothing and calming to watch your content. Lots of love

wake up mere posted

6:43 - Im glad you pointed this out. Alcohol has played a huge part in lana’s life, even though she’s been sober for some time. When it comes with music, you can hear her sing about it in NFR, Blue Banisters and Ocean Blvd with more depth

When she says "church basement romances" it's because she was in a sort of a cult amd she ended up being something with the leader

I think that this line with "gatekeeper" could be refering to the time when some crazy fans broke to her house years ago. One of them took her two cars ("dropping the keys") and another one stayed at her basement for a few days. This could be one of the monsters under her bed she couldn't fight off - she could be still scared for her life as she's famous. That's why she bought truck in the middle of the night. That's why she drives between few cities and stays at the hotels (one of the reasons I think).

I just love your reactions so much! The way your face changes when the lyrics get heavy/controversial. Also another amazing analysis! I love how deep you go into every song you listen to.

My favorite Lana song💙

Love your insights about lana's songs! The line about the gatekeeper carelessly dropping the keys... I thougt was comfermed (sry dont know how to spell it, not my firtst language) to be about the time someone broke into her house because the gatekeeper didnt close the gate and she said it was a very traumatic expience

Been watching a lot of your Lana reactions recently and i just love your perspective on them, it has made listening to these songs even more heartfelt! Wishing you so much good karma!

THIS IS MY FAVOURITE SONG, thank you, Mere, so much for this video 💗

this is my absolute favorite song from lana. i even wrote a whole essay about it in high school. truly an amazing song. each time i listen, i take a different meaning to it.

A lot of Fundy Christian schools are located in Church basements. I attended one. I always felt she was regerencing religious trauma there.

The moment I saw you posted for I clicked, this song I so incredibly close for me, when my mom left and I love you for reacting to this thank you so much 💖

"Maybe if I'd get less stressed if I was tested less like All of these debutantes Smiling for miles in pink dresses and high heels on white yachts" I have the sensation that's about sex and other traumas, sexual debut, idk, maybe she had some bad experiences being a young woman, and then you just have all the other debuts that are just worried with "smiling in pink dresses", but her head already knows that life is not about all of that, they have the easy fun while she struggles in her mind with a lot of things.

there are so many beautiful interpretations here. to me it's about her relationship with life and death. not knowing how to deal with mental problems in a healthy way, she just shakes her ass to not get sucked in into that depressed state of mind.

Your thoughts on the weak constitution lyric alluding to women's health issue made me think about Fingertips, when she says she may not be fit to carry a child...

Rewatching every single one of your Lana reactions just to say that you are amazing and I love you

Lana is something else.💛🧡

I used to think “black narcissist/she couldn’t care less” was about her own dark side but after all these songs about her mother I think it’s about her.

"Writing with blood" could also be a refernce to Esenin, who wrote his last poem with blood:(

IM SO HAPPY YOU ARE REACTING TO NORMAN ROCKWELL!!! YOU MUSE SEE MARINERS APARTMENT COMPLEX AND CINNAMON GIRL

i love your energy in this video, you seem so vibrant! also love the analysis, keep up the great work!!

Amazing video, as per usual, with intuitive interpretations and wisdom. As an aside, I love your wallpaper. Your interior decor is superb, Mere. Love it, keep leaning into inspiration. Best, Beth 💕

A drug so sweet even the child looks upon and smiles.

As an adult. I still think there’s monsters under my bed.

In her song heroin, she mentions writing on her walls in blood, so it could definitely be about addiction.

this is the first ever Lana song i heard. and i immediatly felt so touched.

Fun fact: this song was initially called "Sylvia Plath"

my favorite lana song

I see this song as a fuck you to depression because I can really relate when I'm smoking or drinking with people is the only way I can get the black narcissist (meaning depression) off of my back

wow i agree so much on the AA part because she says 'spilling my guts with the bowey bums' which bowery bums means disaffected alcholics so it would make sense

I believe you're correct of the "black narcissist" line. That is also a name of a movie so Lana being the poet that she is, I think she's making that reference.

I think LDR is expressing how it is to be like in the industry when you are an artist. You sell yourself, it is soul destroying, you are a brand but eventually you see who you need to be as an artist. Women and true artists go through this.

I really love your videos!! I'm always happy when you post, especially reacting to lana❤❤

love this song!!! happy to see ur reaction !!!

im so happy you did this one! just so you know theres loads of lana songs, there's heavier ones but theres also fun ones if you just want to vibe with us sometimes lol.

I also think off to the races would be amazing as well as it was inspired by Lolita. And the ride music video from a therapists’s point of view would be freaking amazing. I’d love to see them. If you’re not too tired or anything. I can’t imagine being a single mom and then also having people ask you for these videos. lol Would gladly pay for a patreon to watch you!

love this insightful analysis! you are an amazing human!! edit -- i've been really journalling and reflecting on this song. and this song give me full permission slip to give me hope that i always needed and always wanted - back to myself, me trusting my body, me reconnecting back to my body no matter what. breaking the intergenerational cycle of violence in my lineage (i grew up from a really narcisisisitic abusive, physically abusive and emotionally abusive upbringing) and its like recently i realised it's okay to say no non-violently, and it's okay to set non-violent boundaries with family, friends, allies, etc. and to remind myself when enough is enough is a daily homework for me hahha

OMG OKAY SO HER BEING OUT ON THE TOWN IN A WHITE NIGHTGOWN AND THE GATEKEEPER DROPPING KEYS..SHES LOCKED UP IN A MENTAL HOSPITAL AND NOW SHES LITERALLY GOING AROUND THE TOWN

Slay with Mere tbh 😌💅⚔️

Her masterpiece❤

Thank you. I love lana even more after this. ❤

This is my all time favorite Lana song! I'm so glad you reviewed it. ❤(Keep up the good work, you bring a smile onto my face every time I see you upload)

Love it! Your editing is so good as well and funny!

I feel like hope is dangerous because it sets you up for pain when youre let down again.

this has been my fav song of hers for like the past six months

I just love this song ❤️ And i love your reactions!!!!

I thought the “triad” was always referring to like the God, father, Holy Spirit- “serving up God in a burnt coffee pot for the triad”. When she sings about “spilling my guts with the Bowery bums” maybe referred to some type of volunteer work she did before becoming famous, and she felt fulfilled in giving back this way due to her things she was facing- they helped her and she helped them. I remember reading an interview a looong time ago where she said if she wasn’t a singer she would be a social worker somewhere.

I think the line “black narcissist” refers to “Black Narcissus” which was a 40s psychological film about nuns, celibacy and sex

I really love your reactions and insights

I hope the next reaction is going to be "Wildflower wildfire"

YES BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONEEE

So personally, I think when she says "shaking your ass," I think she's talking about acquiring fame and putting it all out there, as the culture expects famous women to do, which she's been critical of, and that this complete change of lifestyle is the only thing that removed her from the "black narcissus," (which I believe is a reference to an old film), which I personally believe to be her mother she's talking about. That's my random take, but I also really liked your interpretation! Also -- thank you for explaining the triad; that finally makes sense to me!

Listening to your interpretations, and then thinking back to Fingertips where she laments about having a baby, and if she can handle it... And then looking at how she's a woman with a weak constitution, and the gatekeeper carelessly dropping the keys on the nights off... Is it possible that, perhaps, she isn't able to have children? Like, bodily. And even the title might might suggest, "Hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have - but I have it" could be referring to pregnancy. As well as the almost indifference, "Don't ask if I'm happy, you know that I'm not. But at best I can say I'm not sad." My sister had the same kind of sentiment when she found out she wasn't able to have children, so it really makes me think. Now, this is a HUGE assumption, but looking at this song alongside that part of Fingertips makes me wonder.

Love the video as always, today you really really remind me of Florence welch :)

Reacts "Without You" and "Cherry" by LDR

Wildflower Wildfire next!!

I have hope for you! ❤ Great analysis.

NFR is a ride

Please do a reaction of her song "Wildflower Wildfire". ❤❤❤

I definitely appreciate your optimism by trying to 'analyse' the lyrics of a song hearing it for the first time. Music is so persona that her lyrics probably mean something different to all of us. For example, for me: I believe 15 year dances is about the cotillion dance courses debutantes have to take. Writing with blood is just a declaration of how strongly she feels (in my opinion). I think the Triad is god the father, jesus, the son and the holy ghost or better known as the trinity. Essentially, hope is dangerous. Hope gets us into dangerous situations. Hope is just a lure, allowing you to believe that this time things will be different. I would guess that she has a narcissist parent and like many of us, seem to always fall for the narcissist. The monster under the bed is that parent. Her constitution is weak for a modern woman because she can't get her shit together; her gatekeeper can never recognize the next narcissist she meets. At best, she can say she's not sad. She refuses to be depressed even though that's exactly what she is. 24/7 Sylvia Plath can mean nothing else.

THANK YOU for this T.T

It becomes too easy to tie addictions into most sad songs. Broken heartedness brings sad and bad thoughts only, a lot of the time. Sure it can also bring self destructive behaviours but every sad and confused songs Lana does, doesn't always have to include drug and alcohol addiction. Not here to offend. I enjoy hearing your thoughts and how you take the time to dissect each song. A lot of people don't actually take the time to really.. REALLY listen to the words of each song.

Wow I wish someone would analyze my songs in this way. It would be interesting to hear a trained persons perspective of my lyrics. This was interesting.

could you do ‘put me in a movie’ next? it’s one of her unreleased songs but it’s on RU-vid! Another great video thank you 💕💕