SHE'S GONE! | LABOUR | PARIS PALOMA 

“If we had a daughter I’d watch and could not save her” has made me sob on multiple occasions

It isn't a stereotype, gentleman. I lived it for 25 years. This song is an indictment of the patriarchy and how it has damaged women. This is a reality that almost all women have had to contend with throughout time, including today. This song has become a battle cry for women all over America as our rights and freedoms are systematically being stripped away. If you are genuinely interested in what this song means, you should watch h the cacophony version of this song. When you do, stop the video to read what women all around the world have to say about their treatment at the hands of men.

Yay! I saw on her tiktok how she had taken recordings of hundreds of women screaming, chanting, singing, harmonizing, anything else you could think of and put them all together. I believe that's the part where ALL the layering is. It was originally a trend on tiktok as female rage and grew to be a couple others. I'm so glad you reacted to this because everytime I listen to it my body fills with chills.

"weaponize the false incompetence; it's dominance under a guise" he knew what he was doing, he just figured she wouldn't have the strength or self respect to leave

The line that hits the hardest for me is the "so he never lifts a finger", which could be taking care of the house and him, or so that he doesn't"lift a finger " and hurt her

"so that he never lifts a finger." is a double meaning. Never lifts a finger to help, but never lifts a finger to harm her.

I once read somewhere that this song awakens the generational anger of women and I absolutely agree with that statement. I luckily have a very healthy relationship but this song makes me feel that anger. The double meaning of the „so that he never lifts a finger“ line hits me every single time I hear it. Great reaction, guys! ❤

The "capillaries in my eyes are bursting" doesn't mean she's crying. It means black eyes. The song is about violence, all the way through.

It's common to see/hear women's stories around things like Thanksgiving when it's all the men that watch the football while the women cook. And then after the meal, the men go and lounge on the couch because they're so full and sleepy and the women (who are also full and sleepy) will go and clean everything up and do the dishes. Once you start watching for these things, you'll notice more and more.

If anyone recognized the fruit, it’s a pomegranate. It’s commonly associated with fertility so it’s great imagery but it also reminds everyone of Hades & Persephone (depending on the version of the tale) and how Persephone went from a dutiful daughter to a strong and beautifully strong queen of the Underworld.

this song is very much a woman’s rage song and i LOVE it.

It’s the generational trauma song!!! Also Paris is eating a pomegranate in the video, a fruit associated with femininity and Persephone, a goddess of both spring and death. Just a little bit of video storytelling there

It can be applied to actual child birth labor. 24/7 baby machine. Men making the rules about a woman's choice in this aspect. "You make me do too much labor"

What la funny is that women almost always immediately get this song. Ive dated men and women and every time I’ve dated a man I’ve ended up doing more household chores. When men get into a relationship statistically their household labor load decreases by 20% and women’s increases by 50%. And this is true even in situations where they both work, contribute financially equally AND even when she’s the soul breadwinner. a few terms to look into on this subject is invisible labor, weaponized incompetence, mental load. It’s that ‘hey honey can you grab some milk on your way home’ followed by a ‘where is the store?’ ‘What isle is it on’ ‘what kind of milk do you get?’

When my grandfather found out that i had plans to get a tattoo, he told me "no man will ever find you desireable" and rather than feel hurt, all i could think was how i wished that were true.

I'm gonna nerd out about the lyrics a bit because so many of them have double or hidden meanings or are just well done in general. "The capillaries in my eyes are bursting". This is the first one that caught my attention, because one thing I can never get out of my head is the statistic that showed abusive men who strangled their partner were very likely to kill them at some point. There are very few scenarios in which capillaries burst, but getting strangled is one. It's a very strong start to the chorus, not many people catch it on a first listen, but it implies this extreme level of physical violence without outright saying it and sets the tone for the rest of the song. "For somebody I thought was my saviour, You sure make me do a whole lot of labour". This is just a line I love on a personal level. It's so devastating. The hope that is being lost here. It also symbolizes the unfortunate reality that many people who are in abusive relationships often get out only to get abused by their new partner too. "Labour" in itself can mean two things, as you pointed out. It's work, but it's also childbirth. With later lines like "24∕7, baby machine, So he can live out his picket fence dreams" it's clear that the double meaning is intentional. "Live to attend him, So that he never lifts a finger" is another double meaning. On one hand it means "Attend him so he never has to work", but it also means "Attend him so he never hits me". And just like the start of the chorus subtly hints at domestic violence, "It's not an act of love if you make her" hints at sexual violence as well. On the surface level it can stand for all the acts of care performed in a relationship, as you two discussed, but the placement of the line is intentional: When the chorus and bridge overlap it aligns with "And the silence haunts our bed chamber". Linking a forced "act of love" with the bedroom shows what the lyric is talking about. It's such a good song, and every single woman I've talked to about it says the same thing: It resonates. Deeply. Not everyone can relate to every single thing in the song, but everyone has at least one line that reflects their lived experience. For me personally "All day, every day, therapist, mother, maid" hits the closest to home. It's just a really good song with incredibly clever lyrics and an unfortunately very present and real message.

One thing to notice to on the subject of only one person putting in the effort. You’ll notice she lights a candle when she sits down, while he never lights the one by him. So as you watch the candle by her gets shorter and shorter throughout the song, while the unlit one doesn’t change. And at the end when she leaves, her candle goes out. Leaving him alone, with his totally unlit candle. It’s could be interpreted as the amount of effort put into the relationship and labor needed to keep a household. She burned herself out while he never ‘lifted a finger’ or lit that candle to help.

As a woman this song just rings so true. I grew up watching the lyrics of this song play out with my own parents. My mother is a stay at home mom, and raised / is raising, myself and my three younger siblings. She did almost all the cooking and cleaning, took care of the kids, ran a successful small business for a few years, home schooled myself and my siblings, etc, and my dad still had the nerve to tell her she didn't contribute enough to the household and needed to get an outside job on top of all she was doing. Never mind the fact that our poor financial state was due to him not being able to keep a job longer than two years, making stupid business decisions, moving no less than 11 times, etc. Because the only family responsibility he wouldn't let my mother take was taking care of the finances, cause power and control and all that jazz.

Please more Paris Paloma songs, this is the only major one that gets recognized but she has so many other good songs worth listening to

This hits different with the overturning of Roe in America. 😢💔

"Your false incompetence, it's dominance under a guide" is absolutely one of my favourite lines in this song, and that's a tough decision, because this song is packed with bars.I enjoyed your reaction and analysis of this song!

It’s not just a song about a man or one relationship, it’s about what it’s like to be a woman. This song is about what patriarchy does to women.

I don’t think men comprehend the full meaning of this song. This is about the labour all women go through. It’s for not only wife’s but daughters. From the day women are born we are forced to some kind of labour.

I read that "the silence of the bedchamber" is an old-fashioned way to talk about miscarriage and infant death. It's a heck of a double meaning if so

I've lived this rage, it's women's generational rage and a scathing indictment of patriarchy.

Her song “Notredame” was one of my most played songs last year and for good reason. But this one, the lyrics hit so hard for so many people and women. Wives, girlfriends, mothers, daughters, sisters… there are so many people who are just casually expected to do so much more domestic work and emotional support and managing to little to no praise.

It's not only "those times back then" she's talking about this day and age today also and everything that is going on now.

There's a Cacophony version of this song, using a lot of voices from when it was trending on TikTok. I highly recommend that version, it's incredible.

“False incompetence is dominance in disguise” always hits hard.

‘So he never lifts a finger’ has 2 means- too much work and to not get beaten.

This song is healing and also kinda F's me up. I'm 24 in September. My childhood got fucked when my parents separated when I was 11, and later divorced. I became "Mom". My siblings were 4 and 5 at the time, with one being autistic with significant developmental difficulties. She was in pull-ups and mostly nonverbal - she was mentally about 2 y/o, and faced a lot of challenges growing up. I'm autistic too, but can care for myself. The older I got the more ungrateful my dad got, and the more I saw why my mom left. "You make me do, too much labour"

I also think the whole scene being in one room gives the feeling of being trapped in that situation. Kinda makes you feel a little claustrophobic. She finally broke free at the end.

“It’s not an act of love if you make her” is the double entendres that lives in my head rent free

My husband actually sent me this song and said ‘I think you’d like this’ The man married a strong independent woman and loves her for it ❤❤

It's actually fascinating to watch two men react to this.

People are talking about the pomegranate representing Persephone as a strong female Queen of Hell, but also there’s the subtext that Persephone was actually abducted and r*ped by Hades. She didn’t consent to being made his Queen. She was given to Hades by her father without even asking her opinion, but Her Mother was so distraught she nearly destroyed the Earth trying to find (‘save’) her.

"This is an escape plan, carefully planned" is something I relate to having left an abusive marriage with my daughter. This song never fails to make me cry because I relate to it so severely.

The fact that you can hear the harmony of younger girls singing is so powerful.

Even us in healthy relationships know too many men who view as maids at the best, this song calls to every one

I have heard this song many times before but today I’m angry and overwhelmed at work and it was almost too much to hear. Choked back tears. It’s a true experience for women, especially as the fabric of the country crumbles and we can see a clear route to legal challenges of our rights as people.

You guys should react to Labour (the cacophony) and The fruits by Paris Paloma!! Those are my all time favorites.

Take note of the candles too, she lights hers and it continues to burn but the candle next to the man is never lit and stays whole. At the end her candle has burned out as she disappears.

This is an anthem for all women who have experienced some form of gender inequality, and this kind of behavior from men! All women can relate to this song, because all women are expected to behave and act and dress a certain way from childhood. it’s about the patriarchy as a whole, forcing women to keep having babies, and being subservient and submissive to men, so that they can have a slave labor force in the future. The line, “It’s not an act of love if you make her” is so important! It’s about control of women and gender inequality! THAT IS what this song is about. She said so, herself.

This song speaks to me on so many levels. Even though I have not been in an abusive relationship, i know so many of my friends who have.

It's interesting as a woman watching men watch this thinking it's a servant or slave in the beginning, then realizing it's his wife. I never once considered that it could be anything but a relationship. I love seeing things from different perspectives, and when it clicked for you guys it was so cool

I'm a mom and I have a great and healthy relationship with my husband. Still, I find it funny that men in general think this is just about toxic relationships but things like that happen to us every day done by men we don't even know and didn't invite to our lives. Just so you know.

Chills every time their cacophony of voices kick in.

I’m in a happy and loving lesbian marriage now but in the past I’ve been with men and one thing in the song speaks to me the most . “Nymph then a virgin” is sooo real. We are so often pressured into sexual activities. If we don’t give in, we are told we are prudes, teases, fickle, or emotionally exploited (ex:” I feel like you don’t love me.” “I don’t think you are serious about this relationship.”) If we do give in we are called every name under the sun either from them bragging to people or towards us the second anything goes awry. So many of us get pressured into sending pics and them the first threat we get when they get mad is “I have these and I could send them to anyone you know.” This is not all men (and it is a few lesbians as well, anyone can be toxic). But it is more men than it should be.

This song is so so powerful to me, thank you so much for listening to it on the channel ❤

the fruit is a pomegranate which is associated with fertility and basically is deemed a fruit that represents women. also if you look closely at the candle she lit earlier at the end it goes out because she was over the relationship and the guy had a candle as well that was tall and unlit as he was not putting any effort into the relationship and the girl was which is why it was small and way she lit it at the start, in all the music video is amazing and super creative with all the things that are used to represent something else.

Labor as in BOTH hard work and giving birth!! Also just popping this in here because i LOVE how it was included: capillaries burst when being strangled AND while giving birth it’s a double entendre like the title itself is

I think the line about his "weaponized false incompetence" says it all. Love your faces through the whole thing because as ugly as the story is she's telling, it is a beautiful song with definite groove.❤

"At least I've gotta try" KILLS me every single time. 😭

You can always trust men to commiserate the way things “were” in the “past”. Don’t let the setting and costuming fool you, fellas…

I was so excited when I saw that you guys reacted to this. I saw her in concert last year and it was one of the best nights of my life. That haunting/ Jolly sailor bold aspect of her voice is so captivating live. I would recommend listening to 'the fruits' and 'as good a reason' next. Or even 'yeti'.

A fun thing to pay attention to is the pomegranate she's eating. Not only could it represent blood, but the pomegranate is also a symbol of Persephone, wife of Hades. She's both the goddess of spring/fertility and Queen of the Underworld.

This song is supposed to make YOU think: "how am I treating my partner? Am I being fair? Am I doing my part? Can I go BEYOND what what I THINK is my role?" This is not a "HE" song, is a YOU song, a "ME" song for all men to reflect on.

the cacophony (the bridge with all of the background voices and layering) always gets to me and gives me chills because, to me at least, it sounds like there are children singing with her. that this treatment is passed down through so many generations and little girls being treated the same way both breaks my heart and fills it with rage

The cacophony version always makes me feel so emotional and cry, I’ve been listening to this song everyday since the release

Paris is actually my next door neighbour, when she moved in I was very apologetic because I play the saxophone, little did I know. She is a wonderful young lady and the success she attains is well deserved.

Watching men react to this felt really good for some reason. Seeing the way they are horrified by something women are actively living through felt cathartic. It’s important for others to witness pain like this.

I found this song over a year ago, love it! As always sending love to all from Memphis ❤

This song awakens the rage of the feminine ancestors. The weight of expectation to play so many roles is exhausting.

I kind of interpreted it taking place only in that room as her feeling trapped and confined, unable to escape. Then at the end she was finally able to get out.

i think definitely the most heartbreaking part of this song is that you can hear what sounds like children singing along with her, because the scary truth of the world is that it doesn't matter how old you are. it is all women, whether the men (perpetrators or 'innocent') want to admit it or not. every woman you know, young and old, has a story.

This song had me in angry tears. I played this for my mom and she felt that way too.

Really good example of a song that brings out the generational rage of women. I get CHILLS every time I hear this song and feel the anger every time I see or hear horror stories from older women. Especially the ones who eventually offed their husbands and never remarried after they were free.

i thankfully never experienced this level of misogyny, some micro-agressions yes but not to this extent and this song still makes me bawl my eyes out... i'm not crying for myself but for all the women that this mistreatement is their reality still in this day and age, i cry for my mom and my grandma and every woman that don't even realize they were abused because they think "that's just how life is", it's so normalized it makes me sick... i cry for every woman that died by a hand of their boyfriend/husband, for stay at home moms that are not appreciated for keeping the household running, for working wives that do the same while working the same hours as the husband but while his shift ends when he gets home she has to work a "home shift" too... the sadness this song brings feels like an ancient thing, passed down by the generations and generations of women that have been mistreated by men, by society and sometimes even other women with internalized misogyny

One of the most impactful bridges of all time. It makes the song.

I'm a happily married woman and a mother of three and I can almost feel the pain and trauma of all the women in my libe when listening to this song. Its so overwhelming. The weaponized incompetence line...my god. Then she hits you with that "if we had a dughter" bit and im instantly in tears.

This song just gives me goosebumps! It should be the new anthem of 4b West.

This song is so heartbreaking and yet is an anthem. Makes me want to flip the table. 😅

I know this is such a feminine power ballad, but it is really interesting to hear how you guys brought up the idea that the men dont know that theyve been taught to be like this. Its a refreshing view to know it can help men reevaluate their own upbringing.

Being played out in one room… behind closed doors is where it happens. This kind of treatment is so covered but so accepted.

I've been WAITING for this reaction! I actually cried, because this song is so powerful and I can feel it bubbling up inside me every time I listen to it😭

I can understand why this song has become such a mantra for women today. We are absolutely tired and have had it. you can kick a dog with me so long until it finally snaps. I love the beat and how it grows and builds to the final chorus where other women chime in. It’s very much like the decades and decades going by to finally culminate to where we are now with women’s rights and women’s autonomy.

I would recommend ‘The Fruits’ by her as well.

One of my favorite details about this music video is that when she starts eating she's not taking small bites and "acting like a lady". she's finally reaping the benefits of her own labor and it's not pretty bc it's not for anyone else but herself

I want her to sing this with Florence & the Machine. I would completely lose it.

This song always gives me goosebumps! Everywhere! On my scalp even!! 😮

Thanks for taking this on. Many if not most men do not understand emotional labor and kinkeeping.

This is the first time I’ve heard the full thing. It’s great

“Lifts a finger” can be taken in multiple contexts. One is that he doesn’t have to physically do anything, while the other meaning is so he doesn’t raise his hand against her. A very powerful song.

Something incredibly satisfying, moving but also troubling in how much this song resonates with myself and practically tells the story of generations of women in my family. Every line was far too accurate!

It was INTERESTING to see men watching and reacting to this song/video. I'm still not sure if they get it or not. Hopefully, it can be a thought-provoking moment where these men realize that nothing has changed (as far as how women are treated).

This song gives me insane goose bumps every time I hear it. Beyond powerful

This song is truly amazing. I did a Uni project based on this only when the teaser was out and not the full song, but it got me instantly hooked. For me the strongest line was "It's not an act of love if you make her."

The "cacophony" version of this is so powerful and heart-rending.

ALL day EVERY day!!! 💜💜💜

would love for you guys to listen to The Fruits by Paris Paloma. also a very powerful song, i absolutely adore it.

There's a version of that song with all woman around the world singing the song through the internet

She has a collective of this song from tiktok and its is powerful

I showed this to my mum , it hit her so hard bless her. Her parents split up when she was 10 and she had to look after all of her siblings and her father, so many men say it’s a woman’s job I’m not doing that 😡 we are all equal at the end of the day but unfortunately in some cases that is not the way , it’s about time it all changed 😊

This artist does not pull punches but does so in a way that is clever and wrenching.

Now that Roe's protections are gone, this song takes on even more meanings. "It's not an act of love if you make her" bring another girl into this kind of relationship to be abused, too. "For someone I thought was my savior..." I think MAGA women will be regretting drinking the kool aid soon if they aren't already, especially if marriage becomes a permanent cage for the abused 'for the good of the children'- one of P2025's goals.

I love her and this song. So glad you guys were so engrossed & enjoyed it. She's truly an artist.

Its wild that ya'll cant even listen to a woman for as little as 4 minutes but can use her name and song to boost your views

The layered voices at the end are women singing the song from all over the world. She did a TikTok call for women to sing it as a submission.

this song and the fruits both give me chills every time from the tone a relateability of it all

I am so thrilled for this to finally come across reaction radar ❤❤❤great reaction guys 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻