Therapist Reacts to TERMINATOR 2 and Difficult Parents 

Nothing’s greater than seeing a big muscular man talking about his emotions, crying and receiving a hug from his fully-grown man friend. I LOVE THIS CHANNEL SO MUCH. Not being sarcastic or what, I just love how Alan and Jonathan single-handedly smashed toxic masculinity

I did not have "two men being emotionally open and vulnerable over Terminator 2" on my 2021 bingo card, but I'm glad it happened.

Alan: *crying* Everyone: *crying* Jono: *hugs Alan* Editor: Spongebob

This man spilled his popcorn because his best friend needed a hug, and dammit he was gonna get that hug!

John is so broken he is trying to emotionally connect with an advanced murder machine.

I would love for these guys to tackle A Goofy Movie for Father's Day, specifically to look at the relationship between Goofy and Max vs. the relationship between Pete and PJ.

I love Johnathan’s therapist speak when he says “most of us won’t grow up to be saviors of humanity” implying that it is not completely off the table.

Alan: *sniffle* Jono: *hugs Alan* Me: *gets teary eyed* My computer: What's wrong with your eyes?

It’s interesting how Sarah was slowly becoming a terminator herself in a sense. Driven only by the mission with no pity, fear or remorse.

I have a lot of respect for Alan being willing to open himself up like that publicly

When Alan started to cry, I wanted to literally hug him even though I am not a very tactile person. Childhood traumas are so deep and hurtful (my own experience) but to be open, to face them, and allow yourself to mourn and heal - thats what badass do. #HugsForAlan

I had to cringe pretty hard at this one, because I recognize myself as the “tough love mom.” How often have my kids just needed a hug from me? Alan’s tears really drove home how much that can hurt a child, and how they carry that hurt into adulthood. I have some hugs to go give now...

I feel for Sarah; as a veteran coming to terms with my own PTSD, being vulnerable and "soft" as a mother is a very difficult thing sometimes. As a parent I'm trying to prepare my children for the world, but have to constantly remind myself that my world view is skewed towards the negative and work to not impose that on them.

As maternal figures go, I was only ever close to my Grandmother. The thing that stuck with me even after she passed away: "Refusing to cry is like trying to carry a soaking wet quilt on your shoulders. The only way to lighten it is to wring it out. It'll still be damp, but not quite as heavy."

"Sometimes I just needed a hug." Imagine if he didn't hug him and just sat there like "yeah, totally." *Eyes him intently* "I said, SOMETIMES I-"

Everybody's gangsta until Jono gets up and hugs a crying Alan.

Thank you for the 2000 year hug. I needed to see Alan comforted nearly as much as he needed it

This episode really resonated with me. When Alan said “there was times in my life when I needed a hug and I got a lecture” I just cried with him. 😕 I grew up with a single mother who always took the ‘tough love’ approach when sometimes (most times) all I wanted was a hug and some empathy. Huge respect to you guys for being so open and raw when it comes to talking about these types of issues, it’s really refreshing to see.

Every time Alan cries, I also want to cry. I’m sending you a virtual hug and thank you both for creating this incredible channel. ♥️

"It's not about the violence, it's about fighting for something." That's brilliant.

The statement "i needed a hug and instead got a lecture," hit me hard. My family isnt touchy feely but I am. I am so touch starved and it feels like every time I'm breaking down I get a lecture from a family member, or I'm being told that everything that (I thought) I was getting better at (emotionally, reactionally, ect) gets thrown back at my face. And It hurts so much more when I know that the people saying those things loves me, because if it was from a place of anger or dislike then it could easily be brushed off as "that person is lashing out cause they dislike me," but when it comes from a place of love, from a person that is supposedly someone you can trust and be completely vulnerable around, it hurts so much more, and the refusal for hugs, or hand holding or anything, just so I can feel grounded or some warmth of some kind, really makes me feel empty inside. I'm an adult now, completely single, and I feel so empty

‘I needed a hug but I got a lecture.’ That absolutely broke my heart, and is so similar to my own experience growing up. As someone who wants to avoid those same mistakes with my own kids(I have four), I so appreciate all of your comments! Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your story. ❤️

Having only recently discovered this channel I can 100% confirm that I love this channel. That heart to heart was so genuine and sweet I cried at work.

This channel, though advised not to be substituted for actual therapy, is the only kind of therapy some of us can afford. Thank you so much for doing this. You're helping more than you can imagine!

I admire how Linda Hamilton told director James Cameron that she didn't want to play the same damsel in distress as in the first film. Even though Sarah is traumatised, she doesn't hesitate to protect John from harms way, and emerges as a total badass!

Sarah was all about protecting HERSELF in the first movie. But in the sequel, despite years of trauma and being locked in a mental institution, she's focused on protecting JOHN, even if she has to use tough love.

Can you please do Bucky's character development throughout the MCU movies? From overprotective, funny, ladies man and Captain America's best friend to being tortured by Hydra and working for them for 70 years to being more accepted by the rest of the avenger's team and being treated like one of them to finally turning into more of his old self in falcon and the winter soldier. Maybe you can talk about Bucky's obvious PTSD that he is trying to push away and shove down to the bottom. If you read all the way through this congrats, I hope that somebody from Cinema Therapy will see this and hopefully do it because the more I think about him the more Bucky is my favorite character and you can see his journey from WWII to being broken by Hydra to start to slowly heal at the end of TFATWS. Thank you for coming to my TED talk

Alan openly talking about his feelings and crying, and accepting physical affection for comfort is what a man with big d energy is all about. I am working to be like Alan.

I want to give Alan all the hugs! #HugsForAlan Thank you for being vulnerable with us!

The moment when Sarah Connor doesn't kill Miles Dyson, I always thought that it was because she realized that she was killing a innocent man for something he hadn't done yet. That SHE was now a Terminator.

"Being the parent of your parent" hit me hard. In my late teens I reached a point in my life where I started to become more emotionally mature than my mother, and for about a decade repairing and taking care of our relationship has been kind of my job instead of hers. I long for the day I can look at her and see a parental figure again, instead of someone I feel I have to take care of. Not like physically, she has good body and mental health; but she can be very naive sometimes or doesn't know how to deal with her trauma, emotions or behaviors, so I have to be the one who "fixes" the problems

I like how when John and Arnie come to stop Sarah from killing Dyson, they hug for real as a direct contrast to the checking-for-wounds patdown she gave him earlier that he mistook for a hug. He finally receives that affection from her once she's been at her most vulnerable and helped by him. His compassion and initiative pay off for him AND her. such a damn good movie

I hate the term "tough love" really. Even when a lecture comes from a place of care (or not), a kid sometimes just needs you showing pure love, a hug, a kiss, warmth - not scolding, not lecturing. Love!

“Why do you cry?” (Pulls out one my favorite inside out quotes) “Crying helps me slow down and obsess over the weight of life’s problems”

My toddler's going through the Terrible 2s and I've snapped at her a few times and made her cry. Every time right after I've felt like crap and apologized with hugs, telling her what I'll do to do better next time and actually trying to remember to use those methods when I feel it happening again. She's been amazing every time, one time even comforting me. I just hope I can keep learning and she can keep forgiving.

My mother had a lot of mental health problems when I was growing up and this film understands what it's like to be a child in that situation.

Interesting. I spent my entire life being forced to preface every criticism of my childhood with some variation of "[my mother]'s doing her best" or "she was going through a lot herself", it was a major breakthrough when I felt I was allowed to say she sucked without having to preface it with that, my mother might have been going through a lot, but my childhood sucked because she wouldn't get therapy herself. She hurt me, and it doesn't matter what her excuses were, and I refuse to make those excuses for her anymore. And for the first time I feel like I can move forward in tackling my own issues, because I'm no longer having to take on hers.

Yes! Normalize men being vulnerable and validating eachothers feelings. ❤️ Also, happy Birthday Allen! 🎂

"She did the best she could" probably the best description of my mom when I was growing up, she didn't have the skills or the role models to be the parent we needed and that's not her fault. She tried in her own way

"There were so many times where I needed a hug and I got a lecture". My childhood in a nutshell. Owdamnit.

Therapy may not have saved my life, but I absolutely helped me save my relationship with my kids. It helped me realize what I had to do for me, and because of that, be better and more present for my boys. I don't have to be a perfect parent, I just have to be there to listen, and be emotionally honest with my family. That allows us to work together to get through the bad stuff.

A Silent Voice, then Philadelphia, now T2? These past three episodes have been quite the spread, a bonafide banquet of cinema and emotional topics.

Alan is not the bravest man I've ever seen, but he is pretty high on that list. Thank you SO MUCH for being open and vulnerable about these issues.

One of my earliest memories of my mother is her telling me she would kill herself after we had an argument. We fought a lot, as did her and my dad, well into my late teens and almost every time it would end with that ultimatum. I was so terrified of provoking her, that if she did do it I would be the reason. I'm only just now starting to understand the impact that had on me. Watching your channel has really helped me come to terms with the I have with my family and my own depression. Thanks for giving me the push I needed to seek out therapy myself ❤ Edit: Over 1 year of therapy and an ADHD diagnosis later, my mum and I now have a wonderful relationship. I finally found the strength to have a heart-to-heart with her and to my shock she took complete ownership and apologised without excuses. The whole experience has been beyond healing, we were able to start fresh and our bond is closer than I ever thought possible, as is my mum and dad's marriage. I can't help feeling none of that would have been possible without therapy, which I never would have sought out without this channel. The words 'Thank You' will never be enough to express the gratitude I feel towards you both ❤

Thank you Jono for giving Alan a hug-you’re right, it is what we all want to do. Edit: it may not be your birthday now, Alan, but happy birthday anyway.

This video has been up a while so I know I am sending this comment into nirvana: Alan, you are an inspiration to me. Your emotional openness is something I am still working on. My parents were like that too. There was no warmth in my childhood. I am currently working through it at 32. Sharing feelings, the broken ones, is necessary to reflect on them. big hugs and thank you for sharing with us.

My mom had a very abusive father. Hearing her stories of her childhood made me feel sad cause my dad isn't like her dad. But in her mind, she's still in her childhood while raising my siblings and I. I couldn't help her but I asked her to see a therapist cause I didn't know how to help her. It took me time to understand my mom needs help and I had to stop taking everything personally. My mom is doing better and therapy has made us closer.

Thank you Jonathan for doing what we all wanted and giving Alan a much deserved hug.

That hug was everything for me. I wanted to reach through my screen so bad!

I love these two so much. Even as a guy who was raised not to be scared to show emotion or cry, it's amazingly refreshing to see other men be emotionally vulnerable, aware, and supportive to each other.

You mentioned ‘being a parent of a parent’. My mom has Alzheimer’s and she has reached a point where it is like I feel I am dealing with an 80 year old toddler. I tell her to do something I think is totally obvious and she looks at me like “what?” all confused like she has no idea what I’m talking about. It’s frustrating but I have to keep reminding myself she can’t help it.

I understand that people have different ways of showing love but... as a parent, you need to give your kids what they need not what you want to give them. If you need a physical hug a verbal hug doesn't cut it.

I just want to take a moment to appreciate Jonathan and Alan is friendship, like it is so wholesome and you can easily tell that they are really really friends who are there for each other.

That "thumbs up" scene, even obscured by the promos for the other videos, is a total masterpiece.

I've been binge-watching this channel the last few days. I love both the psychological insight as well as the movie-making insight, as well as the relationship you two have. It's refreshing to be able to see grown men be emotional in each others' presence, give hugs, and talk about real life feelings without some toxic masculinity stigma attached. Well done and bravo. The friendship and obvious caring really shines through and that is so refreshing. If you're looking for movie suggestions, might I recommend Odd Thomas? I love the relationship between Odd and Stormy - the loyalty and dedication, the support, and refusing to hold each other back. And if you're looking for a tear-jerker, you've got one (Alan, you're in for it!). And I think the books were very well represented by the cinema in this case.

As a mom with PTSD, this hits hard. I try to lead in with, "I love you." or a hug for that reason. If I feel I came off too hard, I apologize to my kids because I didn't get that as a kid.

#HugsforAlan This is probably the most emotional video I’ve ever seen in Cinema therapy. 🤗🤗🤗

Thanks for hugging Alan, Jonathan. We all wanted to. And Alan, it is so impressive how far you've come with the help of therapy and talking it through.

This reaction resonated a lot with me as the child of an abusive mother. I have not reached Alan's acceptance of his mother's flaws and I am still struggling with it, but I appreciate how open you two are with your emotions and supportive of one another.

Thinkers, Dreamers, Healers and Closers is a brilliant breakdown of relationship based behaviour. You wonderful humans.

I had the opposite parent be the one who gave lectures instead of hugs. For years I never knew how my dad felt if he loved, cared, or even was happy (was a non planned child) that I was born. After a few years of therapy I was able to ask my dad and had a really good conversation with him. Not really a surprise but a surprise to me was he did love, care, and is proud of me....S'cuse me need to cry in the corner for a min after typing that.

I love seeing them hug. Way to be vulnerable and show the world a healthy friendship and support. I want everyone to watch this.

The tone shift from heavy emotion in Alan's bearing his soul, to "2000. Years. Later." was my absolute Favourite part!!

You guys are breaking my heart. I love that you guys aren’t afraid to cry and show emotion and hug. And I’m sorry that Alan grew up feeling unloved and inadequate. I’m glad you’re working through it. I’m sure you’re doing a wonderful job as a parent. ❤️

As the daughter of an abusive narcissist mother I can 1000% relate to Alan. I'm 40 and for the past year have been starting to unpack all of the messed up stuff in my childhood that lead to me being the person I am. I hope I can find the acceptance that Alan has some day. That hug from Jonathan was so heartfelt & moving. What an amazing friendship you two have.

Way to go guys, got me sobbing for knowing exactly how Alan feels then sobbing with laughter at the 2000 years later. That was the perfect insert. I love this channel

I've just realized I'm in a situation like Alan's, with my father being the "Sarah Connor", and now I'm crying because I never saw it in that way. Thanks for posting this! You're legends

I strongly identify about the scene where the mother, she examines her son's injuries in the car. She motioned for what looked like a motherly embrace and affection. Only to realize that his mother only wanted to check his body. Not to give him a motherly hug or embrace. John was gut punched .... That affected me...in real time.... I was 21 years old when I saw this movie.

Alan, Jonathan, you are the best examples of non-toxic masculinity I've ever seen and my journey from female to male is a much richer one with you guys as my guides. Bless you and this channel for everything you do.

Whenever Mom apologizes for my childhood I always tell her she did the best she could with what she had. What she had (has) was severe PTSD, depression and other health issues caused by the people from her childhood who were still around her. She had no support. My brother still hasn't forgiven her, but I've been able to contextualize. It's not that she was abusive or neglectful, she was just trying to protect us from the stuff that had happened to her. She did the best with what she had.

Alan, I've got a lot of respect for you opening up and being able to cry on such a public platform. It was really moving and I really, really hope that your process of healing is going well. One foot in front of the other mate.

I'm always going to love the fact that the Terminator models his behavior on young John. It's most obvious in the smile, which is blatantly John's smirk.

Can we just take a moment to appreciate Edward Furlong in this movie. I understand he's had a troubled life after that but if they had miscast young John the whole movie would have fallen apart.

I literally cry every time Alan crys

You guys have got to cover 'the hunt for the wilderpeople' it covers surrogate parents and its just very charming and extremely underrated. I'd love to hear your thoughts on it!

Im at 10:29 and it is SO COMFORTING to see, not only, a man showing his emotions in a vulnerable way but also to see his friend comfort him. I love this channel so much! As a film buff, psychology nerd, and a man. Thank you guys

My mother, who suffered from chronic PTSD, massive abuse from childhood to adulthood, and diagnosed DID, identified with Sarah Conner in T2 more than any other character in movies that I am aware of. She mediated on Sarah's story and the way she was portrayed, and even wrote in her journals about it. Was Massively impactful for her. To say that I identify with John is a massive understatement.

As a social worker and former clinician I can completely identify with Jonathan’s thoughts on counseling other couples or parents… how hard we are on ourselves!

😭 Alan is so sweet. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your emotions with us. I really appreciate it 😢❤ I’m kinda crying

Just the idea that Chris Pratt is Arnold Schwarzenegger’s son in law

Maybe for Halloween you could do Haunting of Hill House, which has the best representation of family ever and trauma they go through...

Alan, when you said, "there was times in my life when I needed a hug and I got a lecture," I'm right there with you. I got the same thing from both my mom and dad. You're not alone.

I always felt the hurt that John Connor felt and also identified with how practical Sarah felt she needed to be to keep him alive.

Thanks for giving Alan the 2000 year hug he deserved!

"Life is pain, highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something." I just had to put that quote down when you showed the The Princess Bride clip.

When Alan got a comforting hug from Johnathan... I cried. And I was like-"That's a true and good friendship right there." 🥲

"I truly believe that literally everyone should go to therapy. We all have some kind of baggage and it is better to deal with it and work with a professional who is trained in helping you deal with it than trying to shoulder it all by yourself OR than trying to put it on your friends, your family, your whoever who may not be equipped and who are dealing with their own crap." I love this and have said it for YEARS. I know so many people that I personally believe could benefit from therapy, and instead put their baggage on those they love, which is honestly unfair to everyone involved.

Alan's so raw, vulnerable and real that it makes me feel like I am not alone. The hug for John wasn't a counselor hugging a patient. It was a friend being there for a friend. Bravo to you guys being our internet Dads

Love this episode. I have never related more to Alan that when he was talking about his mother and his issues with her. And tbh when he cried it made me feel better about my issues, because it showed that even after many years, after therapy/counselling, even after accepting and understanding, it still hurts, and its okay that it still hurts.

"I think with my mouth open," is possibly the most relatable thing I've ever heard on this channel. :D

It means so much coming from a family filled with 'tough love' attitudes to see two fully-grown men be so emotional and comfortable with each other. I love this channel so much, you guys.

At the risk of being a one-track-mind fan, the relationship between Sarah and John is one of the best aspects of The Sarah Connor Chronicles. There's a whole episode where, for plot reasons, the main cast goes undercover as a family seeking therapy, and they all inadvertently open up to the therapist about how f*cked-up emotionally their lives have made them, and it's terrific stuff.

Jonathan delivered a hug exactly when we all thought Alan needed one

Man...I had to pause when Alan was pouring out his soul because I literally felt that. I know what having a mom exactly like that is. I know how damaging and empty feeling it can leave you to be treated like that, especially when you're a kid. I grew up not having any friends, my mom left my father when I was really young and she jumped from postal code to postal code, from one guy to the next. I went to a different school probably every 1 or 2 years. I never had the chance to make life long real life friends and I feel i got absolutely cheated out of a childhood because I didnt have a childhood. I was treated like an adult the day my mom decided to move out and take me with her. And the entire time I lived with her i felt like a ball and chain on a prison inmate. Like an inconvenience that couldn't do anything good or make anyone proud even when I tried my hardest. When I tried to open up about my feelings, my mother would say, "you'll understand when you're older" "Oh just suck it up, no one likes to hear a bunch of whining". I had no one to rely on or to tell my feelings or have fun with except with myself. I turned to video games and film to escape the constant feeling of being a failure and inconvenience of my own world. I moved out at 17 with a rather loud bang and I don't regret it ever. I'm very bitter towards my mother for abandoning what should have been my least carefree and fun years of my life and instead I'm saddled with constant fear of failure, being criticized in a rude fashion, and simply just having any confidence. I feel like the most useless person in a room of people as an adult today and it has frightened me from going to college, dating, working or doing anything in my life. I feel like everything is harder for me because I'm constantly worried I'm going to do something wrong and I'm a glass half empty person, I always fear the worst and it cripples me from doing things I want to do...I fear I'll never be able to get past my emotional trauma like Alan is seemingly starting to grapple and all I can do is ultimately admire that and say Alan is who I aspire to be. In my eyes Alan you're my god damn hero and I wish I had your mental superpowers and mental prowess. You're truly inspiring to my soul💙

I don't usually cry a lot anymore but men... when I saw Alans face this time... it hit me right in the guts, you can basically see his child inside in that moment, it was very wholesome, when he cries it is always quite real and emotional and you can tell but this time it just had a depth to it that was very different then usual. You can't take peoples hurt away but even if we are not your mother and that you might never get an apology or anything like that from her, no child should be treated that way and we all really appreacte everything you do and even if your biggest dream has not come to fruition as becoming the most well known filmmaker in the world, you have become a healer without even the intention of doing so and I believe those are almost the best healer in the world, the ones that don't know about it and don't try to hard to be one but just are. Jonathan just as much but he make it into his carrier in one way and Alan in another and it is wonderful, everyone can be one for the people that will mostly resonate with them, you speak to a different public then other people would and it is grate. What I admire about Jonathan is the getting back to the important topics and not getting lost into the conversation but being able to joke and go other places but still come back to what is relevant. Maybe you whore not able to sort things out with her and that is fine but by you sharing your story you are touching so many other people hearts, thank you for being so open and vulnerable in front of so many spectators, we are all wonderful souls but it takes a courageous one to do that!

My family is the type of family that shows love by making jokes at each other, and sometimes it's fun but most of the time it would hurt my feelings growing up because I am very insecure and sensitive with my emotions so whenever they made a joke about me it was a hard thing to get over. I know they don't mean it and they do love me but it's still something I struggle to let go of.

My mom is also a very critical person, and as a very emotional child, I definitely did NOT appreciate it for what it was until only just recently as an adult lol.

I am so glad John hugged Alan... I was wanting to reach right through the screen and hug him.

I was born a few weeks after my father died and grew up in the house the grief built. Similarly it was one of far more expectations and lectures than the unpredictable moments of affirmation and appreciation. I know my mother did her best with the tools she had. I also know she won't get the help she needs to create better ones. It was incredibly painful to make my own boundaries and say I could not cope with her grief and depression on top of my own mental health difficulties. It has been a decade since I drew that line and I maintain it was the best decision under the circumstances. But it definitely took me that long to have enough space to say she wasn't a terrible person and did her best. I can accept that even if it still hurts. Figuring out how to love and be loved is still a work in progress, but it is comforting to know that I am not alone.

10:19 We need more of these moments, publicly visible. All power to you both!