There’s something wrong with Hallmark’s youtube channel 

LAUREN: When the Queen returns from her crafts, I'll tell her the truth. You must be gone by then - you _and_ your friends, I will _not_ have their glue on my hands. Go as far away as you can, with as many men as you can. Because wherever you go, Thea's wrath will follow you. NICOLE: And what of _my_ wrath, Lauren? You should have taken the series for yourself. Alyissa told me about the day Party 101 fell: she was holding the Iron Fitting and you made her give it up. All you needed to do was pick it up yourself. Such a sad mistake. LAUREN: I've made many mistakes in my life, but that wasn't one of them. NICOLE: Oh, but it _was_ . When you play the game of homes, you win or you D.I.Y. There is no middle ground.

Conspiracy theory: this is a fake show for characters in hallmark movies to watch in filler scenes

The disappointment in Jenny's voice when she said "It's not even in a cauldron, Lauren" was palpable

The Spider in the background radiates a very powerful energy that makes me feel things that I can’t describe

I’m just a woman…with a large statement necklace and a bag of tequila bottles, standing in front of a confused hardware store employee, asking where the fitting department is

“Hey guys, it’s Thea...” But for real, this video made my night and I’m so glad someone sent it to me. Thanks for dissecting our silly little videos!

“screw top. my favorite.” was such a unnecessary passive aggressive phrase lolol

"I mean it's one hot chocolate mix, Michael. How much could it cost? $30?"

LMAO at this! I worked at Hallmark when they started making these videos. As per everything at Hallmark, I think the project began with the best of intentions and devolved into a morass of rapidly shifting strategic directions that rendered the entire content strategy DOA. Fun fact: At the time this video was shot, Nicole was either No. 2 or No. 3 Creative Director in all of Hallmarkland. Hence the awkward power dynamic with the other folks in the video who are obviously super nervous about saying the wrong thing.

As a former college RA this is exactly what it’s like. The fake enthusiasm, the crafting, the dark betrayal, etc.

I think the editor wanted someone to see what they saw.

anyone remember that tumblr post about the 'fun pizza' that was basically watermelon and fruit pizza that no kid at the birthday party wanted to eat and the mom got upset about it? this is giving me fun pizza energy

Jennys genuine utter confusion where she exclaims : “you *learned* how to put water in a bottle from a trip to Italy” was so funny its making me cry

I feel like Jenny is dressed like she’s about to tell me she senses a presence in my house, perhaps by describing a heavy feeling in her chest

Hey yo, I’m Alyissa! And I’ll never live the $30 thing down 😭. Retakes? What are thooooose?

As a Hallmark employee, I can say that this video accurately depicts how this company is run.

“No wine bottles” has the same energy as “green is not a creative color”

i recently found out while i was on holiday to Uzbekistan that they don't throw away their plates after eating off them, they wash the plates this blew my mind and will never throw a plate away again

The fact that the hallmark video crew is lurking in the comment sections makes this video 10x better

Martha Stewart: “Put dry ice in a second bowl under your serving bowl to make it look spooky, not in the actual drink, because that’s extremely dangerous.” Lauren: “So just put the dry ice right in the punch because honestly who wants to live forever around people like Nicole.”

as a home depot employee the idea of a lady in a statement necklace showing me a tequila bottle and trying to describe a coupling is just cracking me up

Ok but seriously: "Screw top, my favorite. 🙄", "Smells better than tequila. 😒", "Lauren just likes tequila because it's *low* *carb.* 🙃" WHAT VENDETTA DOES NICOLE HAVE AGAINST THIS WOMAN??

After watching this for the dozenth time or so, I think _my_ favorite detail is when Lauren stops herself from saying that putting Christmas lights in the wine bottle is "even more simple" and instead says "just as simple" because she obviously realizes nothing could be simpler than filling a bottle with water.

As someone who... totally DOESN'T work at a Hallmark store, I thought this video was incredible. All of the Hallmark product popping up in the videos is sending me. I had a lady today who was incredibly disappointed that I didn't have a Halloween card addressed to a cat. I also once had a man ask me where to find a valentine's card for his wife who was having an affair and he wanted a card to tell her he knew about her affair, ON VALENTINE'S DAY. He then tried to record a message to her in a recordable card, without paying for the card, at the cash register and when I told him he needed to pay for it first he told me to shut up. He, however, had such a thick drawl that he couldn't get out more than a sentence before the card cut him off. His message will forever stick with me. It was "Dear Wife, Be Mine, and No One Else's. Love, [His Name]". He finally did pay for the card (after ruining another card in the process).

I hope Nicole somehow knows that every time I open a bottle of red blend at my bartending job, I hear her slightly condescending yet still work-professional "screw top, my favorite" inside my mind

nicole's backstory is that lauren pushed her mom off a cliff

I used to work in a hardware store, and I gotta say having a lady come in with a bag full of tequila and wine bottles asking for a “fitting with a small part and a wider part on top” would have been the highlight of my week

I hate that there's a part of me that will 100 percent be making these crafts in 10 years. lol.

OMG I laughed SO hard!! After spending 43 years in the Television Industry let me assure you that Lauren IS the wife of a Hallmark executive!! Great video Jennifer!

when she was talking about how bad the spider headbands looked i 100% expected for her to be wearing one when it cut back lol

Nicole: How does this smell? Lauren: Not bad. Because it's c l e a n this is so clearly Lauren trying to take a jab at Nicole for something that happened as part of their barely-offscreen feud, i'm dying

Step 1: Put water in a wine bottle Step 2 (OPTIONAL): Tie a ribbon on it Step 3: Be rude to Lauren

"So that's the craft! The craft is over."

Nicole through gritted teeth: This is my fRiEnD LaUrEn

I love Thea's colorblindness test banner

Jenny, I'm putting you on my gratitude centerpiece this year.

Jenny being one of two people to like the comment “it’s spilling” has me DYING for some reason.

When you search “Hallmark” on RU-vid the channel doesn’t even show up anywhere near the top. No wonder Jenny knew no one would guess the video topic, it’s seriously that obscure

Nicole: So what goes in this creepy cocktail? Lauren: Well, it’s so simple, you just use literally whatever cocktail you want and then just add arsenic to make it especially creepy... here you try it first...

“Lauren just likes tequila because it’s low carb” Oh my god, that’s evil

The irony is that getting labels off wine bottles require soaking in hot water, scraping with a razor and getting the adhesive off with Goo-Gone-there’s your project.

I looked up Nicole on LinkedIn and she was actually the VP of Hallmark's "Creative Studios" at this time. It says that "In this role, Nicole is responsible for directing the strategies, priorities and operations of the creative talent & resources team, trends studio, visual studio, photography/video studio, social content team, international creative and the digital asset management team." So basically Nicole is responsible for her own demise

“Millennial friends who are getting dogs earlier” did I hear that right? As opposed to the “traditional” time when you would adopt dog? You know, once you are stable and in your thirties?

Lauren’s just living her best life with her tequila and uneventful crafts - honestly a mood

I just realized Jenny's genius intentionality following the 5:35 bit. She comments how they refuse to do another take, and then proceeds to "make a mistake" related to her hair and doesn't redo the take. Amazing note of detail.

Jenny has the best good-bad taste in anything ever

“Lauren just likes tequila because it’s low carb.” Oh you know that one got reported to H.R.

"Lauren just likes Tequila because it's low carb" - Things I'll never be able to stop quoting

Jenny 3 years later and this still slaps. So funny.

Ok but hear me out, Nicole seemed a bit irked when she was told she couldn't do the tequila bottle craft with wine bottles. So what if she pressured Lauren into coming up with the wine bottle crafts and *that's* why they're more low effort than usual! Like even moreso than her other DIYs. What if their rivalry stems from the fact that Lauren likes tequila more than wine and Nicole, who obviously fancies herself a wine mom, can't handle that seemingly personal attack? I don't know, but there's definitely some sort of tension there.

Plot twist: this video was calculated on Jenny's part to put her on Hallmark's radar so they'd become interested in hiring her as a content developer, putting her in a prime position to create a warring "The Christmas Prince" universe, a la DC vs Marvel

"If only there was a second person getting married, who could help you address all those envelopes." LOL

I watched a cocktail competition show on Netflix, and one of the contestants used dry ice in their cocktail. One judge literally REFUSED to drink it bc the dry ice could get stuck to your throat, and you could DIE about it. I guess that just makes it extra spooky?

Alternative title: "passive-aggressive suburban moms do crafts, badly".

Lauren and Thea thriving while Nicole plots their eventual homicides-by-poisoning

“Welcome to Jenny’s RU-vid channel I’m your host Thea”

Lauren and Nicole need their own show where they act as two buddy cops who have to try to act like they’re learning to like each other but actually they just still silently hate each other.

I love how Lauren starts to say “this craft is even simpler” before realizing that the first one is literally just putting water in a bottle and she corrects herself

Nicole is Regina, Lauren is Gretchen, Thea is Cady, and Alyssa is Karen. Hallmark's *_Mean Girls_* coming this 2016.

Kept seeing this in my recommended, and just never realized it was Jenny in the thumbnail. Had zero recognition. I understand how the whole Clark Kent/Superman thing works now. Wow

Jenny’s mind is like a prism through which the most banal and depressing corporate detritus is transformed into something hilarious and insightful. We truly do not deserve her ❤

8:20 "For this craft you can use any bottle you like!" "I like wine bottles!" *"NO NICOLE NOT WINE BOTTLES"* This sketch just gets me every time I watch it.

I feel like Nicole is the perfect avatar of the kind of passive-aggressive, judgemental mother-in-law figure who would be watching a Hallmark party video unironically.

"Lauren only like tequila because it's low carb" *HOLY SHIT*

Sometimes “nO NICOLE NOT WINE BOTTLES” comes to me in the middle of a completely random task and I’ll have to stop and laugh to myself

nicole: "I'm here with my friend Lauren" me, a credulous rube: "oh they must have a good working relationship and some on-camera chemistry"

According to Linkedin Thea won a Forbes 30 under 30 award and is working as a Talent Market Manager (not at Hallmark), Nicole's a VP at Hallmark, and Lauren owns her company. So I'd say they're all doing pretty well. At the end of they day these were women working for a large corporation, doing what a large corporation told them do them. They all seem to have found immense success in their careers, so kudos to them!

not only can dry ice seriously burn your lips, but if you're unlucky enough to accidentally ingest it, it can seriously burn your esophagus and stomach. terrible idea to mess around with it at all

Omg I feel so seen-- I used to work for them and this is literally what everyone at headquarters is like, it's insane 😂😭🤪

Lauren definitely went to Italy with Nicole's husband

I feel like Lauren's little trip to Italy was probably with Nicole's ex-husband.

I'm here because I'm making a game about space ship repair and I couldn't remember if I should call a part fittings or couplings. But I remembered that you taught me that in this video, so I knew if I rewatched it I would find the answer. Thanks.

Jenny: a CEREAL party? Me: i've had a cereal party Jenny: this is a level of random celebration that I think only a college RA exhibits in the real world Me, a former college RA who had a cereal party at a res life function: oh

Being an italian myself, I can testify that we do actually put water into bottles.

I'm genuinely elated by the fact that Lauren, Thea, and Nicole have all commented kindhearted things on this video. The Hallmark Party 101 videos may be a source of humor for me, but it's good to know the people in those videos have positive feelings towards a video showcasing the silliness of Party 101. Edit over a year later: I forgot to mention Alyissa!

My spouse knows you exclusively by this video. He requests "that cocktail video" on the regular.

“Lauren just likes tequila because it’s low carb” She got paid to say this to her co-worker!

this morning I literally said “it’s been too long since the last video from Jenny and Halloween is too close for that to make any sense” so thank god you saved the day in the nick of time

It will be a sad day when "Old media trying to slide into social media poorly" is no longer a thing.

I actually got caught hella off guard when she said "i tend to have a LOT of empty tequila bottles around my house" while I was mid-drink of water and laughed it all over my shirt. That got me good. This is.... some of the best unintentional comedy I've seen in awhile. Reminds me of something Amy Poehler and Tiny Fey would've done as a skit on snl together back in the day. Except it's real....

This feels like one of those fake shows that would be on in a sitcom.

I love Jenny's ability to get me invested in literally ANYTHING

JENNY! It's NICOLE - from the video - and I'M CRYING LAUGHING! 😂 I love your videos (and your fabulous necklace) - keep them coming!

Some of the best advice I’ve ever heard “drink rosé and don’t become angry” 😂

It's terrifying to me that both those women drank the dry ice drinks. No questioning the outcome. No looking it up first. Just fully diving straight into danger on-screen and recommending the audience presumably do the same.

The phrase "it doesn't have to be anything" is the most unintentionally hilarious line I think I've ever heard.

I’m not sure if anyone’s said this yet, but hardware store sales associate here: couplings actually are fittings. And if there were multiple types of fittings, such as adapters, reducers, etc, it actually makes sense that they wouldn’t specifically call them couplings. That being said, I swear to god if anyone comes in asking about the fitting department with bottles of tequila jangling around in their bag, I will sue (Not that it was important, I just thought you might like to know)

A rather late addition but I have an answer for why the “I like wine bottles-“ “NO NICOLE NOT WINE BOTTLES” moment happened!! so thousands of people have posted a version of this diy, because humans have been putting oil in bottles and lighting it on fire for thousands of years, and several diys I’ve seen have said to avoid wine bottles because they’re tall. Taller bottles are harder to see over, so they’re not suited for putting on a table, but they’re also narrow around the base, so they’re easier to knock over. Most diys recommend a sturdy-based and squat glass bottle, like one for whiskey (or tequila), for the project.

Thinking quickly, Dave constructs a homemade punch using only dry ice and a punch

I love that you upvoted the "it's spilling" comment.

Eventually she'll be buried by giant plush creatures and her videos will become a Waldo style challenge of finding her head amongst the chaos.

It is absolutely fascinating to watch Lauren and Nicole explore that wonderful grey area between professionalism and open animosity while also having to pretend they care about the camera pointed at them.

"I learned that you can reuse glass bottles during a trip to Italy" might be the most privileged thing I've ever heard

Hallmark needs to make a movie where Lauren and Nicole find the meaning of Christmas. It probably involves a decades-old grudge over the one attractive single man in the quaint small town, and ever since they've been bitter BFFs. Their relationship is like a Death Becomes Her, but sanitized and watered down because this is a Hallmark movie.

In Italy they dont just.... fill their bottles w water and put 'em in the fridge for the aesthetic. The tap water there, while drinkable, is high in calcium and can cause kidney stones if you drink it long term, so most ppl buy distilled water or use a filtering device to fill up bottles. That and also sparkling water is extremely popular there and tends to cost the same as regular water, so a lot of people will just go out and buy one of both

it took me 17 years to realize jenny is dressed up as nicole

I would buy an "It's not even in a cauldron, Lauren" T-shirt

Hallmark is trying to corner the “passive aggressive wine mom” market I see

I can't get over how well Alyssa's look at 14:02 matches with Jenny calling her "duplicitous"... that's some god-tier editing work right there...

“Lauren just likes Tequila because it’s low carb.” WHERE?? WHERE’S THE TEAAA, THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTINGGGG