My friend Brian went on a date with a woman he was very attracted to. They sat at the restaurant and she pulled out her phone. She read off a checklist, wanting to know his income first. He paid for the coffee, told her "I didn't expect to be interviewed, as I am not applying for anything." She was shocked, called him all sorts of names, acted offended. He left without another word. Today's women seem to think they are entitled princesses, and that it is a man's job to live up to their expectations. They don't realize that many men have wised up and have their own expectations. Any woman who is asked what she brings to the table and who responds "I am the table" is saying she might bring good looks and nothing else. She should be told "I'm not shopping for furniture." The level of narcissism is unbelievable and it is not even subtle.
I used to work at a bank. During one of the slower points during the day, the conversation drifted to dating and such. One of the women, a single girl who was reasonably attractive - at least before she dropped this bombshell - said she routinely ran _credit checks_ on men to see if they were boyfriend material. All the men and about half of the women (mostly older and either married or in long-term relationships) were horrified at that approach, but the younger, single women mostly nodded thoughtfully in a "why didn't I think of that" sort of way. In fairness, yes, being responsible with money is important in a relationship, to the extent that legitimate money problems are a huge source of stress and a leading cause for divorces, but checking a credit rating before you even agree to a first date? She was cute enough, slim with good hair and smart enough to pass the first couple financial licensing exams, but nothing spectacular. A 7 on a good day at best, and that revelation about her personality knocked more than a couple points off her score.
@@tba113 For the both of you: the trad men and women who raised me all said that dating is a job interview. So bringing a list to a date is not out of the question. Furthermore, my very trad grandfather always vetted guys before they were allowed to court the family girls with the following questions: “Who is his Daddy, and what does he do? Where does he live? What is his job?” It wasn’t just about figuring out his network, it was about whether or not he could monetarily take care of his woman. Traditionally speaking, women do not work, the men do and must provide the money. If you want a trad woman, you must provide for her. Likewise, trad women are taught to be moneywise, so they don’t overspend their husband’s money. What I’m seeing from the 2 of you, is that you have fem women who are trying to behave like trads. If they were trads, their behavior would have been more understandable (if still crossing the line).
@@RainbowHeron I don't disagree with your points. Ignoring the money aspect of a relationship is a recipe for disaster - though there's a world of difference between the questions your grandfather asked, and the ones asked by the women the OP and I mentioned. Both approaches reveal info about the suitor's money, true, but your grandfather's questions also give a huge amount of useful data about the suitor himself alongside that. Your grandfather would have learned about the suitor's relationship with his family, the values he grew up with, the sort of lifestyle he considers 'home', how the boy spends his income, how safe his place is for the girl to visit, whether the suitor is a serious career-minded professional versus a job-hopping flake waiting for some big break, _and_ about the suitor's cash flow. By contrast, the girls prioritized finding out about the money practically first thing, and clearly considered everything else to be secondary. I hesitate to use terms like "gold-digger", since there may be other mitigating factors, but their approach certainly makes them seem awfully interested in mining and precious metals.
I'm 64 years old. I'm so glad I don't have to deal with all this chaos. Your generation took something that was simple and fun, and made it into gladiatorial games. I feel for you
No. Actually your generation took really kindly to Marxism. Then all of your college graduates got into various positions of power. One of these movements was the free sex movement. You know hippies and communes and Woodstock? That movement has brought us here. So really you are glad you don’t have to deal with the consequences of the decisions your age group made (and more than likely you applauded)for the rest of us as they restructured society through media and bureaucratic means. This isn’t speculation and his completely traceable. This is why when you go places less influenced by the zeitgeist it’s more traditional America.
I'm 52 & I loved going out & asking girls to dance or just to buy them a drink. Got shot down a lot, but got accepted enough to keep me encouraged & fun. BTW, been married 25+ years now.
As a young woman I see no point in mind games. My bf and I have direct communication and it works very well. How is he supposed to fix something if I never tell him what's wrong? How is he supposed to comfort me if I never tell him the issue? It goes both ways.
I got fed up with this line and just told her, I'm not a mind reader if you aren't going to tell me, I'm going to assume you are just being a B for no reason and I haven't done anything wrong. It soon stopped after I did this a few times. Also did the same with "fine" response to are you okay, when obviously she wasn't. Been together 20 years now
I got divorced. I bought the house, she made more money. No kids. My Lawyer said that the law is fair to the genders in divorce but it isn't. There was a court order not to remove anything from the house before the divorce was final. She took all the funiture and items she wanted from the house anyway. Judge didn't say anything. I was literally on a friends couch with like two suitecases for a year. She also got the house. We sold my batchlor house to buy it ($100K down)... Yeah, guys are going to think twice about marriage.
Look at the bright side. I've seen one guy literally living under a bridge while paying his alimony or whatever, another living in his car, and I saw a video of a guy going to jail for losing his job and not being able to pay. Your life is over if you aren't entertaining enough in marriage and she gets bored.
This is why you buy your house before getting married. and do not ever sell it and put it into another house. You either rent it. and spend your money. or you sell it and put the proceeds into your own separate account Iy you buy your house after marriage she can decide to bring Chad or Tyrone over and bang him in a bedroom and you cant do anything about it. and if you buy a car.. it goes in YOUR name. period. else she can do what she wants with it and you are stuck paying the loan or you credit takes a hit
Men are also no longer "trying harder". The feminists killed it, "No, means No" not "Try Harder". Modern women need to get that through their heads. If you tell a guy "No' he stops perusing you, immediately, we don't need that headache. We're done playing games and like you said, done with the whole mind reading B.S.
I have had women wonder why I stopped pursuing them after they said no. Girl. I am willing to fight against the world for you. But I won't fight you to be with you.
Any woman that thinks she should get a guy to try harder is just a fucking idiot. She needs to earn such effort which only comes from a life and years together, no woman being difficult deserves that effort.
It looks like ‘no means no’ did nothing to stop men who don’t care about such rules and deterred men who would care from participating in playful fun. That’s a real bummer.
@@Rick-ih7wpwhat a bitter jealous creature you must be to attack strangers on the internet for having something you clearly believe they shouldn't have just because you don't have it. My mother was an amazing woman. She was there for my father through multiple times on unemployment, health struggles, etc,... She treated my father like Gold and spent her time helping others through cancer. Ironically she herself died from cancer and hundreds attended her funeral. My father went on to marry another wonderful woman who also stuck by him in highs and lows. I was able to find an amazing wife as well who has already stuck by me through unemployment and health struggles nursing me back to health. Your culture is broken and produces nasty women and jealous men who can't seem understand there is a better way to live.
I disagree, generally roll the windows down give it some time, maybe some guidance with something on hand, and it doesn't sting the shit out of you. It leaves you alone once its out. From what I understand a bad wife would be the wasp that stings the shit out of you, somehow cause nerve damage that leaves your arm, if not leg useless. Doctors can't do anything for you until 18 yrs after your most recent happiest day. Oh and it may perhaps come back into your car periodically just to sting you again. Chances of the previous occurring significantly increase if a Lady bug enters the car after the wasp leaves the first time.
@@DiscoFangNice means not being in bitch mode 24/7, and feminine is self explanatory. See, we want women who know how to act like women and not try to act like a man. P
There was a huge argument on Twitter over a man suggesting going to an ice cream shop for a first date. Thousands of women calling the man a scumbag and cheapskate, etc. I don't blame young guys dating that decide to opt out of such a toxic environment.
Women call men cheapskates because the see the amount of money you spend on them as proof of interest. Women today need attention and validation from others like wanting water in the desert. This is why she demands her "dream wedding" because it's "her day" and she wants everyone to recognize how attractive she is. This is why she wants designer handbags and shoes. It is all for show, especially to other women. This is why____________(fill in the blank).
Somehow my brother had his wife pay on the first date 😂 but something like a movie, a walk in the park with ice cream or coffee or a decent mid level restaurant aint good enough when i try 🙃
I was cooking a romantic dinner for a date and while I was in the kitchen she was literally scrolling through her Tinder. She proudly blurted out that she'd been 'superswiped'. True story.
@@JenniferDowney-em4xt A guy will theoretically buy 'superswipe' tokens on Match to prove how much he wants to talk to a woman so I guess some women think that it's really complimentary to get those. Personally, I don't see what that's going to change if she doesn't like your profile, right?
I’m a single dad and never been happier. I love the simplicity of providing for and raising my beautiful children and not having to deal with the bs and drama of a relationship anymore. Honest, faithful, intelligent, respectful women seem to only exist on the Hallmark Channel these days.
As a single father of 3, I want to say good on you mate for getting yourself to that place. We don't get much recognition for what we do(compared to single mothers) sowell done and I hope you and your kids stay healthy and happy
I went on a date with a woman and I thought it was a pretty good date and after we left I texted her to thank her for a nice evening. She said she had a nice time but she was disappointed because there was no “romance”. No “flowers” and an actual restaurant instead of a sports bar would’ve been better. Women want men to come out the gate strong when all they have to do it show up. I’m married now to a good Ecuadorian woman who appreciates the simple things in life
Sorry man, but taking a woman to a sports bar is like taking a man to sewing store. I'm not saying take her the fanciest spot in town, but seriously, not a sports bar.
I retired in Costa Rica and married a Tica (pictured) 16 years my junior. Jimmy Buffet (moment of silence) was right, "Changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes."
@@rgn87654 nope. take the girl wherever you want to go. if she doesnt like it you learn right away its gonna be a mismatch. and who put you in charge of dating etiquette?
Last time I went to pick up a date. I went to open the car door for her, she snapped pack "What you don't think I can open it myself". We went to the restaurant, had a meal, took her back home. She talked the whole time. When she got out of the car she asked if I would call her. After not saying a word the whole evening all I said was "Hell No".
My life motto has always been "Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall not be disappointed".. The secret to a happy life is lowered expectations.
i've learned not to trust people. I guess its along the same lines. Not placing trust in people means no expectations. My life, and all of its W's and L's, are all on me. I prefer it that way.
My father-in-law had a motto that I respect and attempt to uphold for myself. “ have low expectations for others and high expectations for myself.” This has benefited me greatly. Luckily my husband has the same motto and we’ve been married 31 years. it hasn’t always been a picnic, but we work through the challenges with mutual love and respect for one another.
The best cure for the entitled behaviour is a generation of 40 year old women living alone with three cats. $100 and half an hour takes away the only leverage they have which is gatekeeping sex.
@@shockg3039 Exactly. When the choice is either an aggravating, faithless, unreliable, hypergamous slut or a professional, the latter is the more sensible choice. The professional knows her job, does her job, is far less expensive than a wife, and gives you no grief. And if unconditional love is what you want, you can always get a dog.
That is exactly it, women are trading men’s impulse for a long list return. Escorts are doing very well out of this, nightclubs are closing all over the western world as men have realised it’s better value to stay single and pay.
@@demonhalo67 Men always pay, one way or another, so they might as well pay for a guaranteed benefit. Not a perfect solution, admittedly, but it's the best option for most men anymore.
I once went out with a woman who didn’t like how I was planning and paying for all the dates. I simply told her if you wanted to plan one or pay for one then by all means plan one 🤷🏼♂️ She said I should just know how to treat a woman. I told her every woman is different so how could I possibly know? Thankfully it ended there 😂
If you asked her what she wanted to do she would have been pissed you weren't a 'take charge' kind of man. They rarely know what they actually want and it's your fault.
She could have spoken up about what she wanted to do for any of your dates. I'm confident you would have been open to suggestions. After all, we men are wired to be direct about what we want, rather than play games and try to hint at it.
The thing about mind reading fits my late mother. She was forever barking at my father, me and my brother for not doing something she expected us to do. When we pointed out that she didn’t ask us to do it she would just replay with “I shouldn’t have to”. And it usually wasn’t even things that you would do on a daily basis like taking out trash. It was things like cooking a particular meal, doing laundry or scrubbing the toilet.
It's a combination of solipsism and unrealistic expectations. Just as we've seen over the years with women doing things they like men to do because it's what they find attractive (and they think men will like it, too) ... women seem to believe we think like them. Unfortunately it extends beyond that because they often expect other WOMEN to have a neural link with them and seldom adjust their behavior when they experience - repeatedly - people don't work that way.
Exactly on point about the "mind reading." My wife of 10 years expects me to "just know" about a LOT. She says she "shouldn't have to ask me when she needs me to do something." However, two years ago she forgot my birthday. It's on our kitchen calendar, it's on Facebook, it's in her phone calendar, but from the time we woke up until late into the night, not a word, no "happy birthday," etc. I had a necessary event I had to attend in the evening where even THEY surprised me with balloons and cupcakes. Nothing at home....nothing. While I was out, my wife's sister asked my wife what she had given me for a birthday gift. It was then she realized the error. So now when she gets angry at me for not "just knowing," I remind her of two years ago. What she has is a "failure to communicate."
It's all about what's TRULY important to them. They are. You are not. Your desires, needs and expectations don't register as important. Her solipsism has her convinced HER wants and needs and ultimate desires aren't just important but so much more important than you or yours they aren't even a blip on the radar. Your birthday wasn't important to her but if you forgot HER birthday (which, again ... IS important) I'd imagine it'd be a problem. We see this all the time with young guys getting frustrating when they start dating and women are disinterested / won't text back (or at least with enthusiasm). They definitely DO when they're interested as that person IS important. Hard fact of life to absorb and assimilate.
I'm an old timer. 69 years old, currently a widower. I noticed back in the 1970s that women tend not to appreciate a guy's efforts in dating. Which is why I was never into the dating market. I never dated my girlfriend until we were engaged, and we were married for 32 years. She died in 2018. My point is that dating is a waste of time and money. Men shouldn't do it. A couple should get to know each other first.
Agree. If I was “king” dating would be no more. Why? It leads to promiscuity, unrealistic social expectations and jealousy among females. Well, maybe female jealousy is an unsolvable issue, but I digress. As king I would bring back 19th Century Courting. In which a father, and if a young lady did not have a father, a trusted father figure like an uncle, pastor, etc would allow the lady to be scene or go out with a suitable male candidate. Courting worked. Why? Because only an older man is qualified to make that judgement call on a younger man because only a man is remotely adequate judge of another man’s character and intentions. Young women are blind in this area and left to their own whims and judgement, throw themselves at chad and tyronne, resulting in today’s social chaos. Courting also means most women get to get courted. And keep in mind this is not exactly an arranged marriage as the woman being courted could always pass. However, unless we end no-fault divorce, incentive marriage, and adults re-grow a spine, it will be for naught. You can’t argue with the results back then compared to the dysfunctional social norms now.
@@TheKCaryerYou're referring to a social practice only existent among the noblery, which made up the most excellent 10% of the population (despite what some believe, in those times there was significant social mobility, it was just slow enough to take generations, but it still meant the best were always at the top, which is why there's this stereotype of political scheming at court, but I digress), among the lesser wretches, it was very much a free-for-all like it is today, yes the father was more involved, but that was only because in those times the nuclear family was much more integral, where now we can afford to dissolve families and be disparate, humans are much more individual than they were even 100 years ago, that is the real problem of the modern day, the average person's ability to be entirely self-reliant and disinterested in familial relations.
@gasphynx That's not what I mean by dating. Dating is not simply doing social activities together. By dating, I mean spending money on dinner, a show, or other costly events for the purpose of forming a romantic attachment. My girlfriend and I were unemployed students in the early 1980s so we couldn't date anyway. After we got engaged and I got employed, I took her out on dates.
When I was looking for a girlfriend, possible wife. I would tell them I was in Construction. Just working up the ladder. I met a school teacher who used to bring me lunch or supper to my work site when I had to work late or weekends. I was completely shocked she would take the time. I was very appreciative of her caring. She married me and she is still the same caring loving person after 47 years. She pushed me into starting my own business. It was very successful. We did it together. I just don't understand what's going on today and I feel saddened by the way relationships go now.
I’ve been out on dates so many times taking out women to expensive dinners and getting nowhere and no 2nd date. It's not worth it. I only go on coffee or ice cream dates now or perhaps a walk.
I'm 66 now and I have been single and divorced for 27 years and I will never get married again. I'm enjoying my freedom living at the beach and I'm enjoying my piece of mind and piece and quiet. It's my life and my money. I don't need a woman to take care of me because I've been taking care of myself for 27 years. I haven't even dated at all. No joke.
When I met my current girlfriend, and we started dating, the first thing I told her was "Don't waste my time playing games, and don't let me waste yours." A few months later, she told me that while that hurt to hear at the time, its why she was able to respect me in those crucial early stages of the relationship. Because I told her, straight up, if you aren't able to set clear boundaries, and if you don't value mine, I'm gone.
I've been married 13 years to a woman that I said something simular to. She said my ability to be so honest and straight forward caused her to offer more respect right away.
I did the same. First phone call I told her if she was dating multiple people, I am not interested. Pissed her off, but here we are going on the 19th anniversary.
Yes, the standard you set on first dates will determin the whole relationship. What you introduce right at the start difine her expectations for ever. She will never forget how good or bad you treated her.
If you are really bold, you make a little scene where you scoff at her expectaions, and run scared from the date! LOL That should leave a painful & long lasting impression! because women HATE being embarrasses in public! This is why they do it to other people! LOL makes sense, right?
Was waiting for this comment. I heard about some woman who brought 23 family members on a first date to an expensive restaurant. That king walked out on a $3k bill because fuck that. The more expensive the first date demanded is, the less she likes you...
I was texting with a woman prior to our first meeting. She seemed interesting. Then, because of life, I didn't text her for a few days. She got all huffy because I didn't text often enough. I said "Okay. What is the frequency that I am required to text at?" Instead of answering me, she blocked me. Her loss!
Haha, just had the same thing happen to me. She said "I don't usually ghost someone so I wanted to wish you the best in your endeavors" and i received that as a passive aggressive attack without a " hello how you been the last 4 days.". I wished her well and DELETE
I love your open, honest commentary. #5 made me laugh. Last year I met a woman who was much younger than me, but was really flirtatious. I approached and asked if she was interested in seeing the new Avatar movie. She told me she hadn't really liked the first one and wasn't really interested in the second. She didn't suggest any alternative that she would like to do or see, so, I dropped the subject and moved on. Four weeks later she jumped me about why hadn't I asked her out. I told her I had tried to, but, when I asked her if she wanted to see the movie she had rejected that idea without telling me she would like to do something else. So I figured she wasn't interested in going out with me and let it drop. I told her I wasn't a mind reader and if she wanted to go out, she should have talked to me. She told me, "well I am interested", and I told her, "I'm not. I don't play B.S. games". Too bad for her.
@@free_gold4467 Naw, there's more fish in the sea. I feel that if I'm starting the conversation and they don't make an effort to keep the conversation going, it's not my job to do ALL the work in the relationship. I've been there, done that. Never again.
That we are okay with a high body count aka "my past doesn't matter". that we are okay with you having multiple partners while we are in the talking stage. That you expect men to be traditional while you are not. That you expect men to be willing to become stepfathers. That you ecpext tall men, but men cannot expect slim women. That you want men to open up emotionally but use it against them.
So much this. My last 3 dates: 1. Had high body count 2. Cheated at least once 3. Still meeting their exes for various selfish profits 4. Met other guys at the same time and just compared who's better 5. Clearly disliked that I don't make "enough" money, even when my salary is above average in my country 6. Only one of them was fine with at least cleaning the glass after herself 7. Considered not having a car as a man a no go 8. Would prefer that I'd be taller (I'm 5′ 7.7″ and I have no problem with it) 9. Asked if I wouldn't be attracted to them if they would get fat and got offended when I said that I wouldn't (I work out myself) Would probably find many more ridiculous points like this, but once again I'm losing my time on thinking about them.
Equality means no simping, no approaching, Dutch dating. Welcome to equality. And, fix her own mistakes. Don’t expect the guy to sacrifice to cover or fix your mistakes. We don’t ask women to fix ours.
Met my wife when I was working at Long John Silver’s at 21, she was 29 with two kids. I was still living with my parents, and she could not have been expecting much of me, but here we are, together, 21 years later.
I said something on the past video and wanted to make sure you knew I was not talking about you. I was referring to the women on your clip. you are a breath of fresh air and I love and appreciate what you are doing. Thanks :)
I was raised to treat all females with up most respect. In college I opened the door for a group of girls, one yelled at me. A couple of days later it happened again. She yelled and then spit in my face. The next term I was studying in the library when one of her friends sat down at my table, she was friendly and she needed some help in one of her classes. After a couple of help sessions her grades started to rise. Then one time the face spitting person joined us and sat right across from me and requested my help. I politely declined and she got a little upset. Then she started rubbing her legs on mine and told me she would repay my efforts of helping her. I got up and moved directly across from the girl I have helped in the past, now she got huffy. Then I just stated that maybe next time a male opens a door for you, you don't spit in their face. She left very upset, her friend just sat there and laughed.
@@Mr.Cockney Why, he was obviously not attracted to her, so why pump her first then dump her? Given the story why would I put my dick into that? Why would I even bother TRYING? Revenge? Revenge is a two edged sword. I think the guy did the right thing. Of the two he mentioned the only one I personally would have been interested in actually pumping is the young lady who first approached him needing help. The one who was polite and respectful. She would have been far more worthy of my attention..... But then I guess horses for courses, there are guys who are just as bad as the worst women out there when it comes to dating, by your comment I am going to simply assume you are one of them..... Even better, you can argue with me all you like, and I do not care, as I was married for thirty years, my wife unfortunately passed away from Pancreatic Cancer a couple of years ago, but I met her in a very similar manner. She was struggling with certain aspects of her course and asked me to help, I agreed. That eventually led to thirty happy years, two daughters and, as of this moment, four grandchildren. If I had 'pumped and dumped' as you suggested, I would not have had thirty years with one of the stars I revolve around. She may be lost to me now, but had I done that, then I would never have somehow won the heart of a woman who was well out of my league......
I would like to add two points: 1. Constant comparisons to other men or previous exes. It doesn't matter what that man did or did not do. I as a man live my life the way I choose to live it. If she doesn't like that then we're better off just being friends. 2. Ambiguity in the relationship. I find that too many women nowadays are constantly tried to make up new titles or phrases that only serve to confuse the status of the relationship. I mean if we're not a boyfriend or girlfriend then what exactly are we doing here? Are we just playing house? Are we just friends with benefits or something?
These are sh1t tests women use to get more drama and aggressiveness from their partners. They think aggressiveness is masculine, that's why they go after the bad boys. Women even genuinely think men like when they provoke us like this, they say it's more interesting. Just shows how different women are from men. A guy once said that men are agents of order, women are agents of chaos.
With point number 2, I think women have way more options, and way more commitment issues. So not titling things keeps it open to change in their perspective, in the event something better comes along.
Emily, thank you for mentioning the issue with "Mind Reading." If a person expects their partner/spouse to mind read, it won't stop. I found most of those I dated expected it and my now wife did for a long time. I felt I had to make a pronouncement to each one saying "I am unable to read your mind, so please don't expect it." I finally had to buy a small "Magic 8 Ball." I didn't make any friends with it, but I did get the point across and hopefully, the next guy would appreciate what I had done. Another major problem is, women expect the guy to change or worse, they believe they can change the guy. I never understood this concept. If a woman didn't like who I am or something about me, why did they date me? But that for another video.
The problem with expectations, is they grow....there's expectations without appreciation. My #1 therapy drives response is " no matter what verbal or non verbal expectation I meet...and exceed...there's never appreciation and it doesn't seem to matter...so whats the point" So...men are just not putting out anymore. Hoeflation is real. Men work 10x as hard for a woman 5x worse.
You are right. Those expectations always increase, never decrease. Plus, you can NEVER, ever slide back on any previous expectation you've met. Like you said so well, your burden ONLY gets heavier, never lighter. Your woman is not a partner, but a master.
Women have turned Disneyland into Chernobyl, metaphorical speaking, and now wonder why men are not lining up at the gates. I am sure there is an equivalent metaphor women use. The difference is that when the good times end, most men will be fine. I can't say the same about most women.
Your last point is sort of a twofer. This "one strike and you're done" mindset, or if you want to look at it from another angle: this incredibly uncooperative mindset is something most men don't want to deal with. If you make it a nearly impossible chore to date you, this doesn't make men think you are a better prize because you are so hard to get, this just makes men think you're more trouble than you're worth.
I reverse that on them: now, THEY’RE the ones being cut off after one strike. No sympathy, no regrets. If they don’t meet the standards, they don’t meet the standards.
Someone who genuinely likes you, makes it pretty clear with their positive disposition towards you that can be built on, anything else is games and a complete waste of time, every single time. Nothing worthwhile starts with a disingenuous game, there is no “there” there, certainly doesn’t deserve more investment, just an immediate halt to it.
Legit had a whole comment section of women coming at me trying to act like men had WAY more expectations in relationships than women and that we would "understand" what women want if we just "listened."
I have pritty woman chatting me up on date sites,etc but as soon as they start asking for money I hit the block button. This is a great video and you nailed every piece of advice,etc.
I agree with this statement. I am a female, been married many years and I am a horrible communicator. My family just didn’t communicate well. I’m emotional and I expected my husband to notice everything and he just isn’t wired that way, but once I realize that I was willing to learn how to communicate better. It wasn’t easy, it still isn’t but I value my marriage deeply and I’m willing to make changes to my thought process to be a better wife every day. He’s willing to be the best husband and that’s what makes it work for us. I just wanna encourage everyone not to give up but to work on being the best partner you could be and then the partner that is perfect for you will eventually show up unexpectedly. Everyone seems too desperate to find a partner. The desperation can create the perception of chaos. I’m sorry, but I trust that things will get better because of these wonderful conversations that we are having around the topics that are frustrating. I really appreciate Emily for having the courage to step up and say what needs to be said to snap us out of our insanity🎉
@@drtyhay not necessarily 🙄 I used my GI Bill to obtain my business finance degree. Zero debt, but guys can't afford to pay their own way when I wanna take a trip or do something where I can pay for myself! So I date older guys because I don't have to feel like their Mommy.
As a man, I just no longer find the troubles of dating worth it. I was the nice guy, friend-zoned, only to be contacted by these now single mom's years later when they divorced their husbands. Now I'm not interested.
@@robotron1236 If she says "Don't worry I'll raise my child." Run, run, run ... It's code for "you will have absolutely no say in raising or disciplining my child."
@@chrishoch8046 Bingo. I get women because I'm blunt and unapologetic, masculine redneck. I take no shit from them and don't play their games. Most women want a dominant man even from those who say they don't (hence all the viral videos of liberals complaining all the good men are Conservative). I get them that way, but keep them because I'm an intelligent, romantic, caring man behind closed doors. To her, I'm sweet and sensual, but she also knows I'm a hard ass who'd put a bullet in someone to protect her. When most men complain they don't get respect for being the nice guy, what they're really doing is screaming, "I'm an enormous pussy".
Mansplained summary of the 5 points: 5. Simping or giving her more than she has deserved as of yet. 4. Approaching less IRL - has declined due to #MeToo and cultural awareness of men's treatment of women. 3. 1st date expenses - be it a sense of guilting women into "balancing" the monetary expenses, or a man coming off as desperate by investing heavily into what often is a complete stranger. 4. Marriage - history has treated men worse in divorce with or without offspring, and dating is declining in many countries. 5. Mind reading - men can't mind read. Women need to learn how to speak up.
uhh, mens treatment of women?? can you explain that part? i agree with everything else especially the decline due to metoo.. but i'm curious about the last part of that sentence.
@@sparhawk29 cultural awareness of men's treatment of women, or in a word "feminism". Whether that's historically or present day, sexual abuse, rape, catcalling, you name it. Women don't treat men the same way. Point being that men understand (finally?) that many women percieve a male stranger as a potential threat rather than a potential partner.
Haven’t dated in nearly a decade; never downloaded a dating app, never participated in hookup culture. Where I was once hoping to find a good woman to make my wife and start a family, I now realize that is a fruitless endeavor. I’m now using my time, money and energy to leave the continental US to meet a woman who’s actually capable of loving me and appreciative of my time, money, and energy…..
It's a landmine in other countries too. Just don't get with anyone that wants to rush into a committed relationship. Set clear boundaries and stick to them before actually dating.
My wife and I met online. Our first face to face was at a bookstore while she was on her lunch break (from a different store) buying books for a class she was taking. It was a great way to test the water without any significant time investment and it didn't cost either of us any money. We hit it off and had our first date later that evening when she got off work. We went to a burger chain (Steak and Shake) because it wasn't too expensive, and the point was to get to know each other and not to see how much we could spend on dinner. We've been together 17 years now and they've been the best 17 years of my life so far.
Here's a crazy story for you. Back in the nineties I worked at a reservation center for a major airline. A female customer calls in to make a reservation and during the reservation call our personalities seemed to mesh and she starts flirting with me and suggest I call her when I am not working. I do, and we seemed to hit it off and she started mailing me homemade romantic cards. She was very artistic. She also sent me a photo of herself, but I had my suspicions that maybe she really didn't look that good. She said she was a single mom, had a daughter, and we learned more about each other after each call. After a few weeks pass we agree to meet in Ashville, NC to have dinner and tour the Biltmore Estate. She gets a hotel and tells me to meet her there in the lobby when I get there. It's a long drive and takes me hours to get there. This is all pre internet and pre cell phones. So I am somewhat blindly driving out there. I get to the hotel and ask the front desk to call her room and let her know I am there. Honestly I was wondering if she would even be there and that I might have been "played" to go on some wild goose chase. She comes down and we recognize each other because of the photo exchange. She wasn't "hot", but she was damn good looking and I am not hard to look at either. We walked up to each other and hugged and she initiated a light kiss. I thought we would be going to dinner right from there but she wanted to take me up to her room first. I didn't assume anything. I let her make the first moves. We got up there and she started making out with me much more aggressively this time and before I knew it we where naked and testing out the integrity and the limits of the bed. She was wild We clean up and go to dinner, walk around the area and see some of the sights, and spend the night together in her room. I didn't rent a room. Next morning, she checks out of her room, we have breakfast, and then tour the Biltmore Estate for most of the day and having lunch at one of the restaurants on the property. We spend a few more hours together, kiss and hug, and then go our separate ways. Here's the part I've been saving for last. SHE PAID FOR EVERYTHING! We kept in touch but as time past it became less and less frequent till it finally just stopped. We never did see each other again, but oh what a great memory. There's a storyline in a movie called "Class" that kind of reminds of this "encounter". Edit: RU-vid: Class (1983) - Have You Ever Been in Love? Scene (4/11) | Movieclips
My now-wife is from the Philippines. Our first date involved me flying to the Philippines, renting a hotel room, and taking her entire extended family out to dinner. (I got a hotel room rather than stay at her place for both moral reasons and because if things didn't work out, I didn't want to be stuck in the same house with her.) That date cost me over $3000. I think that was my most expensive first date ever.
Very refreshing to hear this from you. I wanted to mention something like this on one of your other videos, but I was worried I'd come off weird. You're right that on the first several times spending time with someone, we really don't know if that person is going to be relationship material, a friend, benign, or a threat.
Men (sweeping generality here) are also becoming more comfortable being alone as well. I've seen numerous "where are all the good men" videos, but very few of the inverse. For me, peace has become much more valuable than partnership.
A few years ago, I saw a few of those "where are all the good women?" videos...and I mean *years* ...but we've all been through the ringer now to some extent - or were wise enough to pay attention and not get fully on board...or burned... Oh, yeah, your sweeping generality? Is also pretty much accurate. I'm not sure we can call it generalizing anymore, I think it's just an observation of fact. The man who hasn't found that homeostasis of peace in solitude on some level is the rarity these days.
I don't know if that's true. There's plenty of "be happy with your cats videos" which are mostly made by hurt men. But I guess it has gone down and many men are just planning to lone wolf it.
One woman a few years younger than I am said, "We're not in a romantic relationship. If we were, you would be paying for all my meals!" That's what I was to her. A free meal ticket.
Women don't appreciate sh1t from men anymore. Compliments, attention, validation, gifts, dates, time, money, emotional energy invested from men = ALL meaningless to women. Women will pretend to be nice to ur face, then ghost u, or flake on u like u don't even exist. Can't wait for AI female s3x robots to replace all women.
@@arthurmorgan2906 Bitches like that won't ever listen anyway, so there's zero point. Any woman who would actually listen to that scolding wouldn't deserve to be scolded in the first place.
Women will accuse men of being bad communicators because they can't read their minds. That is not a man's responsibility. Nobody should be expected to read someone else's mind. If they expect it, they are surely going to be disappointed, and then have the gall to accuse you of being a bad communicator.
In my opinion the whole "read my mind thing" is a sign that they're still mentally stuck in a child like state. The desire to "just be understood" is a leftover from when they were children and their adult parents had to dicern what they, as small children, wanted to communicate but couldn't due to a genuine lack of mental development. Children can't communicate clearly due to having little life experience and a still developing mind that still mainly runs on emotions. And most of this Wmn who want a Mn to "just get it" are still stuck in that mental state so they expect the Mn, the new substitute parent, to act as a parent to them and dicern what they aren't mature enough to just say it and express it in a clear manner.
When it comes to the point where a date sounds more like a job interview, you know it doesn't worth it anymore. Lots of fellas are realizing that being alone is not the end of the world and moreover, you save a lot of money and headaches.
There are entire videos of women walking around asking men to rate them, and when the man says anything less than a 9, the women is demoralized. Just gives you an idea of how many women completely overrate themselves in this day and age of social simping.
Most of these modern women, while they look pretty, have the depth of a urinal. I love these street interviews where the women rate themselves as 10's or higher, and I wouldn't rate them more than a two.
That mind-reading part was 1000% spot on! My partner of 11 years wouldn't stop with the mind reading expectations... She would be angry about something I was just supposed to know and let it fester... For MONTHS until she finally would crack and tell me what I should have known. Meanwhile, I had no idea i was upsetting her and continued to which made her angrier and angrier. So, she builds a tremendous resentment over something that would have never happened had she just told me in the first place!
-mind reading is a real dominance game. as long as they expect the guy to mind read, they can punish him if he doesn't mind read. that goes for how well he is does in bed too. as if the female has absolutely no responsibility for bed time fun. and then if bed time is mediocre it's all his fault, and the frigid bitch wins automatically, and doesn't get the emotional/psycholical help she needs. and just how many frigid bitches are there? every woman is born with a part of the body that has no other purpose but to provide them sexual enjoyment. yet how many of them have real problems acheiving orgasm? they don't just turn off that one little area. they're turned off period. they're only half there. but the only only response that is ever needed is, "it's all HIS fault". everything always HIS fault for a woman. no woman ever has to accept her half or lift her half. it's HIS fault 100%.
Years ago, I asked a girl I met online and wanted to take her to a local restaurant in Houston. Her friends told her that she should demand we go to a high end restaurant. I took her there, ate, paid the bill and left her there. I regret not leaving her with the bill.
I had a date with a woman one time. We were talking for about two weeks on a free dating website before the date. She and I thought it was going well. She even said that she feels really good about this, and I did too. So, we made a date to go out for dinner. We met at the restaurant, and everything was great, and it seemed like we were talking more than we were eating. I was thinking it might be a future relationship. When the dinner check came, she just stared at me and didn’t offer to pay half or even anything at all. After dinner, she abruptly left, and I felt used as if she was doing this for a free meal. If a Woman dates 6 different Guys in two weeks just for dinner, that’s 6 meals that she doesn’t have to pay for if she does it this way. See what I’m getting at?
My biggest issue is that most women are just rough around the edges. I'm a pretty masculine man and a lot of modern women try to act more masculine than me. When I see my mother it's night and day difference, she's like a completely different species. The gentle feminine woman is disappearing, it's like a extinct species.
Time to travel abroad brother. The feminine woman is a dying species in the West, but they are still abundant in non-western countries across the world
Do you think it’s because women HAVE to work outside the home and we end up competing in the workplace and acting like “one of the guys” to fit in? I know what you mean to some degree. One of the women I work with seems more like a dude but is engaged to a guy. I’m a feminine woman but the guys attracted to me act like more of a woman than I am. Dating is so weird today. I would like to draw in the masculine men.
@@TarotTarot1 I've been scratching my head as well. After a lot of research I think it's because of the birth control pill. Apparently women who are on birth control tend to be attracted to feminine men but the moment they get off the pill, they suddenly find their boyfriends or husbands unattractive.
Nope...just in the West. Many Eastern women are still feminine and traditional. Western culture has brainwashed & ruined women to the point where the following quote rings true for the vast majority: "Women want the authority of a man, the privileges of a woman, and the accountability of a child."
I just want to express my appreciation for what you are doing - there is a "middle" where it became naturally socialised where men and women meet - to me you are bravely cutting through the crap and signposting the way back to a new middle where we both meet to enhance and complement each others qualities for our individual as well as societal good.
My only reply to number 1 (garbage must be out EVERY DAY (by9PM) is -- sayonara baby. As the great Tony Montana once said "the only thing that gives orders is....".
On top of that I will no longer chase anyone. Which includes continuing to ask and play the guessing game of trying to set something up. I will ask but if I don’t get a yes or any effort on her end to make an alternative then I’m done. It’s mind blowing how many women sit there like a bump on a log and expect someone to keep trying but then get mad when he sees no effort from her and walks away.
It's not even about effort on her part for me. It's about respecting boundaries. Somebody tells me they're not interested, I'm *walking tf away!* I'm not going to keep bugging somebody who has implied or explicitly told me they don't want that, because that makes me feel like a giant creep. No thanks, I'll go find someone who honestly tells me they're interested. It's not all that difficult.
Amen to the mind reading. People tend to find what they're looking for. If you're looking for reasons to leave, you will likely find them. If you are looking to find someone who responds to clear communication, you will likely find them too.
In Australia new legislation has just past in family law distinctly against men. Also I agree to all of these. I might add with the restaurant one, men have caught on they’re sick of being scammed for free meals. I’ve known women who have openly admitted to this.
In most cases, they offer nothing good as an alternative to the peace of being alone. NOTHING...and they want it all... if they behaved this way at a dealership they'd be laughed outta there. They want the top of the line S63 AMG for zero dollars. Its literally that bad...what next? They demand that we breathe for them too?😂 total clown show 🤡
Men don't approach women as much nowadays not just out of fear of rejection, but genuine fear of being called a creep or worse. Like it or not, MeToo had a HUGE impact on men's perception of what is acceptable and what is potentially dangerous in this area, so we've decided(correctly) it's not worth the effort. Why bother when nine times out of 10 they're going to turn into some different version of what they present as themselves in the first place? Most of my dating experience is women going out of their way in the first few months to act like a good girlfriend, and progressively going downhill afterwards showing their real selves. It's not very encouraging, and certainly doesn't push me to be a better person. If anything, in many men it makes them go the opposite way and give up hope. We need to stop the whole men need women more, women need men more game and realize we both need each other. Isolation is the death knell for most people...
Until women decide to treat men like equals, it's much safer for us to politely decline participating. All things considered, we can be happier waiting for today's women to come to their senses.
@@marcoAKAjoe nope. Go into a gym and you'll find women with cameras setup, dressed as skimpy as they can get away with, doing everything they can to get guys to look at them, but if they do (or even if they're just facing her general direction) and they'll get called a creep no matter how buff and/or attractive they are. Then they'll post it on their Instagram, TikTok, RU-vid or whatever and try to convince EVERYONE ELSE that those unsuspecting guys are creeps. Guys are ending their gym memberships en masse and setting up home gyms because of exactly that. Because women are abusing gym memberships in order to try and ruin any and every man's reputation for clicks and "likes".
Metoo didnt just change what is acceptable or not, the fact that women annoyingly keep moving those goalposts is really the part that guys cant wrap our heads around. Whats acceptable and what isnt is now completely up to her at that particular moment and how she feels IN THAT MOMENT, which could be completely different from the NEXT moment. Thus the whole thing of 'No', ends up meaning 'not actually no, just try harder'. And then they wonder why guys just dont. lol. But seriously, they made the rules anew. They came out hard and swinging. They have no right to complain about having their demands met.
@@marcoAKAjoe I wouldn't quite say only them, but they themselves will pretty much always get called that. I've known a few guys girls were into at first but then quickly went to the creep line after spending time with them, but usually they'll just look the other way because THEY'RE being chosen...
I watched a video on here where the guy noticed the female was not paying any attention to him - She had her face glued to her phone (which was easily smarter than her) from the moment they met. Unless she was looking up to tell him (or the server) that she required the pricey items. The hilarious part was him going to the lavatory and NOT returning to the date, but leaving (so she had to foot the bill for all that crap).
I approach first as a woman. what emily said about how things have changed and men dont approach first is somthing I've observed a long time ago and understood why. When she initiates It makes him feel more wanted and everyone involved isn't seen as a creep. Its a win-win, plus i know it'll make someones day even if they do say no.
Kudos to you. I never understood why men are supposed to go after women and not the other way around. Women have all the tools to be seductive, they are naturals at it. Men, in comparison, not so much.
Women have become so picky that it doesn’t make sense for men to approach them. It is nothing but wasted time. Instead of always saying no just say yes to the one you want.
in my 20s I was a jerk and i had as many girlfriends I wanted. Then post 30s I wanted a partner so "grew up", started being open, clear and obviously committed and I never had such a terrible time. It took 15 years to realise the man in my 20s that women used to love but complain about was the man they wanted. And the man I became who they said the wanted was the guy they do not respect. The whole thing is a shittest. Don't fool for it. You got three choices: Be a rouge, pay the price or get out of the game. I chose the later and decided to focus on skills, root family, career and friends. I dont want to be a jerk to be attractive and respected. Its goes against my values too much but I cant be disrespected for being a nice man, either. So, yeah, i left because it was the best of three bad options. It took a while but I feel truly content now!
I have a similar experience when i was younger i was a nice guy and got burnd many times and turned down even more so many infact if i have a penny for every time id be rich. But then i turn into an Ahole and started getting women.
I hear what you're saying but you also have to understand that not wanting to settle down till "post-30s" means you spun off 98% of the best of the field to the guys who were all ready to settle down. One of my best friends made this observation when at age 42, he chose similarly. He said, "The choices for me are recently divorced with extensive baggage and a crazy baby-daddy ex somewhere, too young and with a daddy complex, or there's a damn good reason WHY they've never been married [half cray or heavily medicated]." He also noted that he was still a little too young to yet have much of a selection from widows. He wasn't wrong. Fortunately for him, he did come across that last available sane and unmedicated woman on the East Coast who had never married... but she was 8 years younger.
I told my son to have absolutely nothing to do with _any_ girl who texts him inappropriate pictures. He was soon going to be a doctor and man they came out of the woodwork.
Number one (I’m showing my age here) back when I was dating, even for a first date, no mind reading was needed. If you asked her out on a date, you already knew where she lived and what her parents did for a living… and she knew where you lived and probably babysat your neighbor’s kid a few years back. She most likely even waved at you from across the street as she was heading in to sit for the Johnsons. She waved at you because you and her had a few classes together in high school. Now that I’ve painted that picture off how so much has changed in forty years since I began to date, you can truly see how far society and social arrangements have changed. For us, a long distance relationship was when she attended a different high school than you did. My hope is this video is seen by women who need to understand that men are basically tired of your games. Play those games on a first date and we don’t need to know anything more about you and paying for your coffee is all the investment you get.
GIrls need to realize that it takes a lot of courage to ask them out. They should feel flattered whenever it occurs. Men being shamed for even thinking about asking a girl out in person is a good excuse for them to not even bother with it. Understand that it can be seriously nerve wracking even for those fellows who are well experienced and socialized. Great video!
Women don't appreciate sh1t from men anymore. Compliments, attention, validation, gifts, dates, time, money, emotional energy invested from men = ALL meaningless to women. Women will pretend to be nice to ur face, then ghost u, or flake on u like u don't even exist. Can't wait for AI female s3x robots to replace all women.
no, because theres like 0.01% of guys doing 99% of all the asking out and they are indiscriminate. and they are ruining it for the rest of us. the girls dont see a guy building up courage to ask this one special girl out, they see a guy throwing lines out all across the shore hoping one will get a bite. it doesnt make her feel special it turns her into a commodity. she cant tell the difference between the guy who has only asked one girl out all year, and the guy who has asked 3 girls out already this morning.
women have no idea what it takes to walk up to a totall stranger and putting yourself in a vulnerable position. And then not to be turned down politly but being told you're the scum of the earth.
@@dennisdebruijne8044 Women don't give AF about u or men's feelings/struggles, even if they pretend to be nice. That's the harsh reality of being a man.
Her self esteem is not my responsibility. Lord knows I have some baggage, I work every day to drop said baggage and heal. It's been my experience that I get to accommodate her baggage and pay for what her ex did a decade before her and I ever met eachother. Her trauma is not my problem.
I am so happy I live alone. The nagging and expectations are annoying. "Well if you don't know, I'm not going to tell you". She saw how much I really did when I was no longer there.
They approach me. They grope me. They ask me out. I don't go out with them because it turns out it's all to try to bait me to give them free attention.
@@redbaron07 I've ended up having coffee or dinner at the end of a day's campaigning with single women - just me and her - and they've no idea what to do, and put their foot in it pretty badly, that makes them curl in embarrassment soon after, and leaves me thinking "OK...". I find them socially embarrassing, and if a guy acted like that around them - as I did in my youth around girls - he'd get walked out on. But these are adult women. They aren't the sex with the social cues.
@@EE12CSVT I read recently that Autism Spectrum Disorder is under-diagnosed in young women, and while some reports blame "muh patriarchy", a few sheepishly admit that pretty women can "mask" (i.e. get away with) parasocial behavior such as lack of empathy.
56 y.o male here. In a long time relationship with kids. It's truly insane what has happened to society, pair bonding is obsolete. Add to the mix that many has very high body counts and that makes them unable to sustain a long relationship. Studies show that the odds for divorce go up significantly even after as few as 5 bodies.
My wife and I met 26 years ago for coffee. Since we hit it off, we extended the evening, as mentioned in the video. If we had not, we could have left after our introductory coffee with no unkindness at all, sparing ourselves an awkward evening. It could never occur to me how this would not be considered a good idea.
I think the problem lies where the woman will have a list of guys as potential suitors and expects each one to be her meal ticket. The simp who wines and dines her gets a 2nd date, but no coochie. Whether it's cash or dinners, they are still 304s.
My experience is always meet in public in a cafe, it's *typically* cheaper and easier than wasting time and money on some bullshit frivolity act. It doesn't go well - you got ya favourite drink and it cost a bit of time It goes well - ya got ya favourite drink and potentially an interesting person to learn about etc
I, m old FYI , but I just learned the hard way it,s not looks that " matter" in a relationship, it,s that simering controlling nature , unseen at first ..those female friends you can't talk to without comment..or meeting up with a mate for a pint that you find you can't do anymore.. .stuff I had in my home that " we" got rid of...well...we live separately now, I stopped her following me on Google maps after she accused me of being in a pub " coz" GM showed I was when I wasn't....yet she can see, speak to , go anywhere she likes - ...
To be frank, reason number one killed my marriage. She expected me to read her mind and when I didn't and asked questions I got attitude. Eventually she decided she didn't love me anymore. From my point of view, I was busy with providing via work and with what I did know she expected of me. I certainly wasn't perfect, but I'm also certainly no mind reader.
Mine was the exact opposite. I got to know her so well, I affectively *could* read her mind...and it was a dark, dark place. I know that last bit sounds like a joke, but it's not. Once she realized she'd gotten too close, she became incredibly abusive, attacked and reacted negatively to everything I said, all the more so the more honest I was. She also decided she didn't love me anymore, like it was a switch, which is saying something because I had never felt more loved in my life, for years. I would've done anything to keep our peace, and the love we really did have. She didn't care. She kicked me out and the roller coaster ride of our separation began... Women say we men don't have emotions, but I've never met a man as cold and heartless as many women I've met.
@@pyre8478 Women don't love men, they love their resources. I have come to the realization that being in love for a man is a mental ill ness. We are willing to work our lives away providing for a woman that will leave us in a heart beat. While she gets to save her money and spend ours on expenses. No matter how much she says she loves you while you are providing for her she will be absolutely soul crushingly brutal during the divorce process.
@@elonever.2.071 sounds like you've been fucked over or been listening to too many men that have been fucked over. My exwife supported our entire family all on her own for over a decade, she couldn't have been using me for resources as I didn't have any. And as for our split, she's been incredibly good throughout the process and only left with the stuff that was explicitly hers like her clothes and personal items while leaving the rest of the household to me. You're making sweeping generalizations, there are good women out there. Women that truly love.
4. Approaching less - men are approaching less because women have told men to leave them alone, and they are just tired of being rejected time after time, 2 Marriage - men have performed a risk/benefit analysis and decided that marriage/family life is not for them as they see no benefit in it for them, if anything it puts everything worked long and hard to build in jeopardy.
Let's not forget how easy it is these days to end in jail by simply approaching a woman. All she has to do is scream and you're arrested. Nobody will bother to ask why she screamed
If she's indulging in the exchange of inappropriate pictures, That speaks volumes about "who she is on the inside" And none of it is exactly flattering
