These Hidden CPTSD Triggers May Be Keeping You In A State of Dysregulation 

There’s hope for me. I turn 70 in December. I’d be nowhere if I hadn’t discovered Anna’s daily practice nearly 2 years ago. Best thing I’ve ever done for myself. ❤

I can hurry myself when I'm in control of the purpose and plan, but when other people hurry me, I get flustered and go into fight-or-flight mode. It really mimics the internal "What in the actual hell is going on?" I constantly felt as a kid.

This is 💯% a trigger for me..I've always struggled with feeling rushed to get somehwere...and somehow always ended up being late as a result of the procrastination as a result of associating stress with hurrying

I dislike being rushed deeply. My father used to do this very much when I was little. My brain hurts from just thinking about how I felt when I was rushed as a child. So I try to take my time. I wake up 3 hours before the time I’m suppose to be. I love slow mornings.

Wow the dropping stuff/running into things/being a klutz when you're stressed is so so me. It's actually helpful just to realize things you think are your own personal flaws are common things others struggle with.

It's funny Anna, because all my life I've always maintained that as a boundary for me in life and work, that I DO NOT hurry/rush. I never thought about it in your way, but I can see for sure, this is why I behave this way, combined with my disposition. I'm adamant about this. For me, rushing is not an option. I guess I just know I would get out of control too much.

Yes. I knew Mr. Rogers. He lived in Pittsburgh across the street from friends of my family. I lost a pinky ring in his swimming pool and he fished it out. I’m here to tell you, he was exactly who he appeared to be on TV. Kind, calm and truly good. A real decent person in all of our lives. Thank you for bringing him up! I’m dating myself by also saying Captain Kangaroo and Mr. Greenjeans were also instrumental in providing calm joy in my troubled young life. Gratitude!

"Rushing is another form of going nowhere" (from the amz workbook 30 Days to Reduce Anxiety by Harper Daniels). This quote hit me when I read it in the mindfulness workbook, as one of my cptsd symptoms was a strong compulsion to hurry and respond. I was the person always on time (or early) to events and meetings, rushing to get back to texts and calls, immediately responding. Some people would say this is a good thing because it shows discipline and being courteous, but the truth is I neglected my own time, needs, and wants by assuming I had to ensure other people where not negatively impacted by me. In the end, learning to set boundaries through therapy and mindfulness helped. I had to set a boundary for myself...don't reply immediately to people, if they get bothered, that's on them. It other words, I had to learn to say "no" by simply not rushing.

Yess the adhd and childhood trauma connection ❤ as if adults thought yelling at a slow kid would effectively improve their behaviour 🤔

I’m crying because my CPTSD comes out when I am hurrying. I just thought it was time anxiety and that’s what I’ve been calling it. I can see so many ways that it triggers me in times that we’re already stressed. Mr. Rogers is my dad, or what I helped my dad could’ve been. He was the safest person I knew, and I would never miss a episode growing up. Thank you for helping us make sense. I have a loving and supportive people in my life now. I watch out for me. They care for me. They will help me when I’m dyregulated.

Make a list and stay focused on getting that done, don't let everyone else redirect you to their agenda. Become methodical, put your keys in the same place so on this helps save time. Pressure is a part of life, feeling pressure to accomplish a goal or complete a project is much different than the fart in a whirl wind directionless spinning.

YESSSSS!!!! I get so angry when Im rushed at work or making an appointment and as you pointed out - and how I found your channel - the procrastination issues with CPSTD. Thx for the video

I'm in a hurry to get things done, rush and rush till life's no fun!

Do you believe the 'daycare generation' suffers from neglect? Daycare is such an unnatural and unhealthy place for young children. (I know some people must have childcare but many, many families will not make the financial sacrifice.)

I’m only 15 mins into this dialogue and THIS is the one that makes me feel hope and sooooo seen. In the same breath of being so excited to heal and regulate and to also hear that “I am not the only one”, I can’t help but to feel overwhelmed by fear. I fear that I will find that my success is all based on my reaction to trauma and not talent. Cue in a whole new level of imposter syndrome.

Holy cow.....yes dropping things for no reason and then when you get upset and triggered - the stupid things you do out of sequence and out of normal. Ouch - the screw ups that Ive done at work when I get rushed bc they are pressuring us for time and then I just totally call myself names that I cannot type here and insults that I cannot say here. Amazing....

I didn't really like Mr Rogers as a child because I didn't understand love. I still don't know that much about love. But now I really like Mr Rogers because I want to love like him.

I so much recognize what you say about hurrying and as a result getting overwhelmed and disregulated.. It helps me to put trust in that everything will be ok and that there is no need to rush..

Yep, I had a reaction some years back that was over the top frightening but I couldn't identify it. I didn't understand what was happening. AND I've been in therapy for years but I just didn't have words to describe my strong feeling. Well that feeling was abandonment. I was overcome with fear and disappointment that night (my date let me sit in my car in the rain for an hour while he decided to be late). I downplayed the incident (denial) and tried to suck it up but 35 years later I still remember the incident and my strong reaction. I also did not realize that I was abandoned as a child (even though the situation was discussed at length). I just didn't have words for it but that's exactly what happened and now, as a senior, I am FINALLY getting it. Mostly due to vids like this one. TY so much for the light bulb Miss Fairy!

Just had disregulation today and I was in dark spot. Music, food, i could not even write... And remembered of your channel and here is this video and it brought me back to life. I am not alone with this❤ hope is back. Still so sad that even Mondays can cause disregulation

This is a big trigger for me. I always allow extra time when I need to do tasks and if I have to go somewhere. I never like being late.

Definitely!!! As I’m getting older I’m struggling w noises even more than when I was a kid.

1:09:48 - you're fantastic Anna Runkle (sp?) - CCF. I'm So thankful the Holy Spirit led me to your channel.

yep, hurry is my trauma response. It seems it's part of my hypervigilance, hurry and get this done so I can feel safe.

The 12 steps isn't for everyone- it's CBT-ish, which isn't for all- some of us find other emotional/therapy tools work better for us- Many of us attend groups but the 12 steps are only 1 tool in the recovery toolbox

Along with abandonment fears I also struggle with jealousy. I need to be special or the favorite and I hate it because I know its not right but I can't seem to push those feelings away.

Such a coincidence that you mentioned Mr. Rogers. I saw something about him on Facebook today and my god... I realized he was my calm place, as well. I was also memorized by him and how patient and kind he always was. I had an extremely abusive mother and a completely ignoring father. I still cry when I read his posts

I just got to the part about you being sad that you felt your parents might drive you over a cliff, and I had a really scary (& very sad) deja vu... As a kid, riding in the car with mom, next to a construction site that was below us, and you could see it over the side of the road we were on, but not how you would get to this construction site; And every time we went over this road she saw them, & she would talk about how she felt like driving off of them... Sometimes alone, and sometimes with me, and occasionally, also my sister, in the car with her😳... So terrifying on so many levels! 🤯 ( Incidentally, mom did not drive over the cliff, but she did overdose when my sister was 14, and I was 18.🥴 😬We are in our 50s now, and I find it, quite frankly, amazing that we have lived this long, made it this long, this far, fought this hard to make it this long!🙌🏾👐🏻 So, I say 'ta da'🪄🎩 every day, and work hard to recognize, and be grateful for, each blessing🌠🌟)

Mr Rodgers got me through some hard childhood times also. When I am dysregulated at night I will sometimes go on RU-vid and watch a Mr. Rogers episode. Word to the Wise: they are all on RU-vid.

I actually teared up during the part of the video talking about avoidance

Can you please make a video on healing from being in an abusive relationship with someone with cptsd? This is my story quickly: So I was married to someone with cptsd, almost certain of it. I'm not a doctor and can't diagnose obviously, but it fits extremely well. She had a ptsd diagnosis and adhd, but it always seemed that those two things didn't quite explain all of the behaviour. I remember asking my therapist if there was such a thing as attachment trauma or an attachment disorder. I really appreciate this video because I spent a lot of time wondering if she was a narcissist too but always kinda knew that didn't fit. She had too much empathy with other people. But the overlap is quite striking. My life was consumed at every waking moment with walking on eggshells, minding my tone constantly, endlessly apologizing for the same thing over and over. She constantly felt unsafe with me, and I swear to God that I spent every last ounce of strength trying to treat her well, serve her, love her, listen, ask questions, notice her, take an interest in everything she did, literally doing everything and anything I could think of to make her feel good and safe around me, but no matter how hard I tried, I was always just a scary person to her, emotionally unsafe. I was endlessly told all about how inadequate I was relationally. I wasn't allowed to have any real emotions, opinions, really a voice in anything because everything about me gave her panic attacks, like several a day every day for years. Even when they subsided near the end, she was in a constant state of disapproval of literally everything I did. It's actually exhausting typing all this out. Anyway, I have trauma from this that I'm trying to sort out. It's really difficult when you spend so much of yourself listening to another person's opinion of you, only to realize that they're sick and don't see you for who you really are. I always thought I didn't believe everything she said and thought about me, but my body is telling a different story now. I used to ruminate a lot. Talking to myself, trying to figure out the mess of being constantly blamed for everything and shamed, when I tried as hard as I could to change myself to suit her. I'm getting better with this, but it's taken a while. Any thoughts would be appreciated!

For what it's worth, Anna, I once drove away from the gas station, with the gas hose still in my tank ... of my 28-foot school bus. A thousand dollar-repair later ... it never happened again. 😆 Yeah, dysregulated! Meanwhile, sadly, I only remember one man and one moment in my childhood, where I felt calmed and safe. It was the principal of my elementary school. I was maybe in the first or second grade, a slow and picky eater, and had become terrified of scolding for being the last in the cafeteria every lunchtime. As usual, I was sitting alone, tears running down my face, expecting to be yelled at, and this great tall man appeared in front of me. He walked by slowly, looking at me, paused to smile kindly at me, and kept walking. I'll never forget it. It occurs to me now, that children then - maybe now too - were taught that hurrying was a VIRTUE. And all for the convenience of adults, I know now. A sick culture makes its children sick.

I have found chewing on chewing gum really helps decrease the anxiety when going through the paces to get out the door leaving my place .. plus being as organised as much as possible the night before.... I spoke to a therapist about this and she offered me NOTHING.😮.. all I got.... She said it's obvious I suffer with becoming overwhelmed. ... I'm enjoying your video and enjoying reading the comments with suggestions. 😊

Sometimes, I feel like I rush for no reason. Recently I started taking a breath or two and slowing down when I catch myself. I only did this because I did not want my dog to feel more anxious. Not for myself. But I'll do anything for my dog. And the scariest thing for me about changing jobs was, what if it is worse? I can't take worse (imo - who knows?). The same, okay. Better is great. But worse? No.

Although I was pretty sure I had CPTSD, when you said hurrying was a trigger, I knew that was it.

Your videos are the most helpful videos I've seen. Thank you for doing this work so that we don't have to suffer anymore.

I’m a huge self suppressor!!! This is a new term for me. I tick about each item on your list. New healing rabbit hole unlocked. Also hurrying. My husband is one of those people that constantly hurries me and everyone. I told him within the last year how dis-regulating for me. He had backed off on it a lot but he did it last week and we went on a trip and I forgot my clothes and shoes I wanted to wear when we got to our destination.

This is absolutely true. I ended a three year friendship because one she was hurrying me even though I was doing my absolute best to get ready on time and two she criticize me and said I was inconsiderate because I was running a little late.

Ugh...I procrastinate like it is a SPORT. I recently went thru stuff with my mother and realized just how disregulated I am. The nice thing is, my beloved grandfather taught me the art of SLOWING down!!!!

Not me stopping you half way and searching for an episode of Mr Rogers 😂 I shall play it for my 7 & 9 yes old kids! I'm from Poland btw never heard of Mr Rogers ❤❤

Sending love and understanding to you about your trauma as a kid Anna. I don't know how I felt about Mr Rogers when I was a kid, I think I was just neutral about him. But knowing now that he was trying to help be a soothing, stable presence on TV for kids experiencing trauma is heartwarming. What a dear, kind hearted man he was.

It’s not my first time commenting. Totally don’t need the team to respond. Although I’m not telling you what to do. Lol- I saw something on RU-vid that told me it’s not my job to help my family and other people around me heal from internal traumas. Yet I still find myself referring this channel. Most recently, a woman I met through church, who does outreach for sex trafficking victims here in Los Angeles at Florence and Figueroa Saturday mornings disclosed something that her husband went through in youth. I’m totally convinced a lot of adults even in their 50s 60s and 70s could benefit from seeing the pattern of behaviors they may have been following. So God forgive me if I’m not supposed to be sharing this channel I’m not trying to be nosy. I’m not cured. I haven’t done every step that has been offered. And I still get triggered. But understanding it helps me become triggered less and more importantly, see where others can benefit by sharing this information. Often in life when something big is wrong there’s more than 1 million things going, right! And I wrote that into a song lyrics 😂 Have a beautiful day everyone and embrace your beautiful life !

I don’t rush or hurry at all anymore. I’ve realized how stressful it is. I leave early to get where I need to go and have taken many things off my plate. Too many things on the plate cause hurrying. I guess there ARE perks to getting old. LOL!

Thank you so much Anna for being willing and able to share with us from your healing journey. These are truly pearls of wisdom. Heartfelt gratitude to you and for you. I feel like I am spending time in good friend company when I watch your videos. Thank you so very much! Sincerely, Shelley Marie Carlson

I just started S.L.A.A. and wow I found other limerents like me that have things that work to help them. I would have never done it without this channel and Crappy Childhood Fairy. Thank you!

I call it "scrambling "...i find im always scrambling. I am successful with it and get so much done but am very tired of it

I never liked Mr. Roger's. Even as a kid I thought him boring & too slow. I liked "the Friendly Giant" show ( 15 minutes long!)

Hell yes!! Hurrying gets me totally out of whack, often for the rest of the day! I had to hurry this morning, I´m exhausted! Brain fog etc.

The hurriered I go the further behinder I get

On the saying hello one, I always make an effort to make eye contact, smile and say hello to people and I find it incredibly rude when people purposefully ignore me when I am obviously *right there*. It doesn't bother me much if its a stranger, but it does when its an acquaintance. For me, it has been a real process to realise that if someone I know ignores me and doesn't say hello, or doesn't return my greeting, then that is on them. They may have their own stuff going on, they may be neurodivergent, or they may be rude. That is their deal, it doesn't mean I am worthless just because they didn't say hello back. I'm learning to just not waste my energy saying hello to those people at all. It doesn't mean I am rude, it means I'm treating them how they are comfortable being treated.

i have a whole closet full of shirts that have not worn yet , then i buy another one, same with shoes.

Mr. Rogers was like a second father to me. He really spoke to my isolation.

I can get hurried and handle it but my partners have always been triggered by it and then they emotionally manipulate in to try and coregulate me which takes a hurried trigger and turns it in to an all out turf war.

I so much relate to you and what you speak about, I watch your videos all the time. God bless your soul. I'm a recovering alcoholic as a result of CPTSD.

I love your Grandmother…what a sensitive wise woman

There's the inward CPTSD experience to transcend, then there's the outward CPTSD world i still have to live in

Good morning beautiful 😍😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😊😊😊

Fear of being unloved... I think mine may come from not seeing my momma for almost 2 wks after i was born, she had to stay in the hospital, they almost killed both of us, but she was allergic to the pain meds they was giving her, they had to bring her back, & I was born a blue baby.

All of this is ADHD as well. I have been diagnosed with both.

Ana I do pet rescue in Modesto and Bay Area. What ever breed you would like I can help you find a dog that needs rescue. I also take care of pets for my friend when they travel. I’d be honored to keep your baby when you travel. Please reach out if you’re ready for a dog now. Blessings

I hate getting spontaneous calls from friends to invite me for a hang out or walk. I feel hurried and guilty. I can get depressed and sick and shut everyone out of two of them do it in a short space of time. Another friend now plans ahead from the day before without being prompted.

I was going to do emdr but I could not afford so much. I was diagnosed as a kid with ADHD and now ptsd- you have described me in words I could not because I am not able to speak clearly anymore

Brilliant information. Really helping me with my life long battle with cptsd & depression!

43:44 - Thanks for this video AR, the CCF. ( : About what you've just said - about moving in the direction of what you really want - I try to do that... but get knocked down too easily. And sometimes the problem is simply that I don't know exactly how to move in the direction I desire. I end up... just sitting back and letting God decide - but I'm not sure if that is right either. Anyway - ... yeah.

I'm new on triggers I'm having . One really tears me mentally upset that is screaming an yelling ,an calling me all kinds of names. I use to sit scared to death. Then one day I stood up to him. An now my anger is out an I am unregulated. I want an need too.

Hurrying is simply accomplishing something but in a state of Anxiety .. CPTSD is an anxiety disorder ... Study maintaining your anxiety. Meditation is fantasic for emotional stability. Hiking, going for a ride with no destination, playing with your pets, etc. These are all popular anti stress activities. See your stress as a ladder, each little thing pushes you up that ladder unitl it topples. You must take time every day to lower your anxiety levels.

I started EMDR with my therapist. Wow, all these things you describe in this video are soooo accurate. I'm slowly working through all of this. Thank you for all you do!!!

Mr. Rogers ❤

Mr. Rodgers!!!! I LOVED HIM GROWING UP! WOW! It wasnt just me who was soooo blessed by his show and presence. Another show that calmed me down was Captain Kangaroo. He was so kind and sweet.

Yes, Anna, I still have a fear of bridges, when I can't see the other side over the "hill" or an elevated highway that curves and I can't see what's around the corner such as a mountainside road. I'm much more calm, in real life, when I'm the one driving. Especially , the bridges over water, show up in my dreams when I'm going through difficult things.

I think in an effort to keep myself regulated with my trauma I sort instinctually get up much earlier then most people might to give plenty of time to get ready for work in the morning (about 2hrs) and arrive at work 30 mins before (now I sit in my car because one employee kept bothering me during that time and it wasn't helpful) and both of these things help me stay calm. The other thing I get mixed up on is if I have too many tasks or if someone is micromanaging me, I will get thrown upside down with those things.

This is such a helpful video. I have CPTSD, and Multiple Sclerosis is posing a challenge in my healing...i am trying to adjust to my changing abilities over the past 20 years, and it adds a level of frustration- when my mind is working at one speed but my body can't always accomodate the speed and it results in hurrying. I think I have probably felt non stop dysregulation for the past 15 years following a serious gaslighting/divorce, which resulted in bankruptcy, with the background of constant medical uphill battles, that never let up. I think it's time to fix some things instead of just trying to "survive" day after day. And yes, when someone asks what I want? At this point? I have no answers. ❤

So glad I found this video. Every day is like a fight against time. I do nothing but rush here and there which recently caused damage to my car, among many things being broken, and injuries to myself. If I could learn how to slow down time, I would.

Multi tasking, rush, urgent activities to get it done. Rush, rush !!! Rushing. Urgency, Urgency, Urgency . Unable to have strength to get up. Pressure to be activities.

Anna, the issue is a guy looks up advice using a channel called "Toxic Dating Coach" who teaches these tactics that sounds exactly like what happened to this woman. Its just not Okay and i think its fine to meet people go out on dates or be active in choosing something that feels healthy and fun. I guess it just bothers me that some of these idiots follow tactics that just cause more harm, that is hurting for everyone involved. ❤ your advice is always solid gold! Thank you for your depth of compassion and creativity involving unconditional love! I needed you 30 year ago but finding you 3 years ago has been huge success! Thank you! ❤😊

I have no problem taking my time for myself but if I am working colleagues and bosses always try to push you really hard.

I'm bummed by how many ppl snub me when I give a quick smile after accomodating their child or cart. I tell myself to say hi when passing closely in grocery isles. I'm already stand-offish so being sneered at (mainly hispanic stores) or ignored (rich white ppl frequented stores) bothers me. I love hispanic stores for the unusual produce but I often leave them kind of sad.

Thank you. All of this. Nodding my head with the descriptions of avoidance all the way through. And, just have to say...Mister Rogers was my go to. When others confused me by professing love one moment and treating me with cruelty the next, he was always a safe, kind soul I could trust. Always welcoming, always glad to talk with me. I have struggled to recognize any examples of someone like that in my real life, but seeing through these great insights you share, I may have missed several opportunities through avoidance.

I thought you were going to say that hurrying IS the dysregulation, not that hurrying leads to dysregulation. Can't hurrying ITSELF be the dysregulation? (E.g., maybe due to low self-esteem due to trauma, one feels that there self-worth is tied to how much they can accomplish in a day, so they hurry through the day, and that is a horrible way to live (dysregulation). Maybe that IS what you are saying, actually?

Omg I feel seen and called out 😂 at the same time I also finally feel understood.

Im just wondering, is it common? And why some siblings turn out differently? Some succeed way better, and the other struggles immensely? I find it draining now, to talk about my experiences while growing up. My older sister seemed to have an easier time dealing with the stress, and succeeding. My perspective is she had more support & acceptance.

You’re scaring me, Anna. I was having this conversation with somebody like 10 minutes ago. Then boom 💥, this video *cue XFiles theme song* 😳

I started a new job 2.5 years ago. I'm baddly triggered daily. I have been struggling with two trains of thought, do I quit or do I try to grow and deal better with the triggers. The triggers stem from being rushed, being criticized, being in a chaotic room answering to several clients at once and trying to also type notes within the chaos. I am convinced I have cptsd. I am quiting.

Anna you frequently mention 12 - step programs. I thought that such programs are only for substance abuse issues.

I have been asked (kindly) to slow down at work because of minor errors. Ppl don't always want stuff ASAP. The pressure we feel can be internal.

The last time that I hurried, I went into a major panic attack. It took close to 3 hours to feel better. I don't socialize much anymore, but I used to. Only family and husbands tried to hurry me. When the person started the litany of time's a wastin', I became overwhelmed, I shut down, and said - "Go without me."

My dad was manic, or bipolar full-time with no depression. But he was always rushing. He exhausted everyone around him. Slamming things, banging things and rushing everywhere. Bizarre! He also had real abandonment issues because when he was in hiding with his mother and siblings she actually did try to abandon them, running away as she couldn't take it any more. He had to go running after her as the eldest and bed her to come back. Finally she did, and he forever followed her around the kitchen. But he always has this underlying panic-y feeling and insecurity. Whenever he felt like he was going to be abandoned he became angry and would yell. As a teen he would yell at me every single day. It was worse when I started to stand up to him. It was hell.

The hurry commentary was really validating for me because I started saying out loud to myself when I was flustered with a task “you have PLENTY of time” with a deep exhale. And it has greatly improved what I was doing. I felt crazy doing that until I saw this video. Thanks for discussing how hurrying is a trigger, it’s helped me understand what’s been going on with me!

Ugh I just moved into an apartment that is too small and I keep knocking things over, getting immediately dysregulated because I don't want to be here/didn't want to leave my last place, then I knock more things over because I'm dysregulated, and end up freaking out.

Wow not being able to reach out to loved ones. Today I didnt answer my moms call next time. Great suggestion about exit lines. True about working steps not just showing up. Ty for helping me to recognize my challenges and showing me solutions. ❤

I find myself hurrying even when there's absolutely no need. Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed by a task (even washing dishes!) that I have to just stop doing it.

My ex used to rush me constantly...whatever we were doing...I told him it increased my anxiety but yea...

Only 5 minutes in and I'm hoping you might offer a different reason also because procastination is NOT my reason for overwhelm at leaving the house. What's other reasons please if you know of any.

I have dings on my car. I dropped a light cover on my head. I was losing everything. Diregulation was huge! Healing now. During that time I was on auto pilot. I think getting yelled at to get ready disregulated me. I remember spacing out a lot. I was always late and carried over to adulthood.

Anna is the real deal

I have trouble taking times tests. My brain goes blank. Everything I studied goes down the toilet.

Mr Rogers neighborhood didn't prepare me for this life idk about you

Disagree. I do not procrastinate. The sheer volume of tasks I am responsible for every day is so overwhelming that I cannot put off a single thing if I want to have a moment to myself.

I used to be afraid that all the Fourth of July fireworks would fall down on me and my parents who were part of setting up the big Fourth of July event in our town would be entertaining the guests to our booth. But I would hide under the table. I don't remember either of them coming to tell me or comfort me, sit with me or take me out in person to say honey there's nothing to be afraid of. They just let me sit there and cry.

Shopping can be stressful, especially shopping with a group.