Things Not To Say To FGM Survivors And Campaigners 

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Would you not want someone to ask you why you did it?

Marlena Sien i wouldn’t mind it brings more awareness to me and my struggles and how to deal with others with it

That would be a dead good one.

@@marlenasien8793 No. Relevant similar questions may be asked when attending a professional about it or if the person chooses to talk about it to someone who is close with them. But you don't just say "why". It's painful stuff to talk about. Even in the aforementioned contexts, they should be asking tactfully about what led to it, what was on their mind but it's nobody else's business to ask for more details than what the person themselves brings up even if they're publicly sharing a survival story.

midorishiwa I know it sounds crazy but if you read these sources done by well known organization you’ll begin to have insight on these other cultures. Same way we do body mods in our country, like tongue splitting, butt implants, etc. But read it with an open mind, I’m not saying it’s ok at all just that it’s not what the general media makes it out to be some horror film scenario. Many woman are in they’re 20s and proud to become a woman this way Two sources www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2015/04/female-genital-mutilation-cutting-anthropologist/389640/ www.bbc.com/news/world-africa-47133941

@@Bradmhj There's a difference between cultural relativism and universal human rights. Cultures differ but painful, traumatic, lifelong suffering is a violation of human rights. Just because some women have grown up and learned to manage their trauma in a healthy, empowering way, doesn't make it any less traumatic.

@@Bradmhj but the difference between the butt implants and fgm is CONSENT. Most of these young women who go through it didn’t consent to it at all and was probably screaming and crying through the process. That’s why this practice needs to be banned and it’s also not medically safe because the proper tools and aftercare aren’t being used. We are not trying to shit on anyone’s culture, we are just trying to protect victims.

What is FGM? Could someone explain exactly what that means?

@@jawmarie it's when females have their genitals removed/ sewed. It's usually because of cultures

@@rebeccak9597 Thank you ❤

@@jawmarie haha no problem 😊

@Orgasm Donor thank you for such a clear concise explanation, there are so many medical complications resulting in lifelong pain, how any person can defend it is beyond me, I do not agree with male circumsision either as I think this often goes wrong and ends in mutilation, why some female fgm campaigners have their sons circumsised is a weird one!

Which country in Africa? Because your statement is implying ALL the border patrols in Africa ask that. Its probably a common occurence at the border of the country you were leaving because they practice it. And fgm is not a sickness. It does not have 'signs and symptoms'. Some women don't even know it was done to them until waaaay later in life. Its physical,its psychological,its basically a super compounded issue.

Grace Rimuri I’m sorry if it sounded like I’m making assumptions but by signs and symptoms I mean being tired , being really drained out and things like that. My auntie actually went through fgm and I know that from experience, and I was in Tanzania in east Africa.

yes female genital mutation, feminist named it that but it really is more closely to circumcising, I read a few articles and when ppl go and teach ppl in these countries this s wrong, the “mutilation” words angers the culture because mutilation translates very harshly, same as the word sound. Many woman to it voluntarily as a part of becoming a woman. But now we a infringing on cultures that do this voluntarily same as males

I know it sounds crazy but if you read these sources done by well known organization you’ll begin to have insight on these other cultures. Same way we do body mods in our country, like tongue splitting, butt implants, etc. But read it with an open mind, I’m not saying it’s ok at all just that it’s not what the general media makes it out to be some horror film scenario. Many woman are in they’re 20s and proud to become a woman this way Two sources www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2015/04/female-genital-mutilation-cutting-anthropologist/389640/ www.bbc.com/news/world-africa-47133941

IceyYou sis it's like making vagina a prison before marriage....it's no way near circumcision...because FGM has lot of side effects and even cause death...but circumcision is just removing foreskin

The situation with male circumcision is much worse, its legal even in our modern times in Britain and far more widespread. At least girls have a legal protection and enjoy widespread condemnation of the practice.

@@elliot7404 How exactly is the damage much less? In by far the most cases more erogenous functional tissue is lost with male circumcision than female. The foreskin has an area the size of a credit card containing the most touch sensitive part of the penis. With fgm it can even be very difficult to determine whether it has even been caried out as the only case to be successfully prosecuted here in Denmark has shown. There is never any doubt that a boy has been circumcised, it is clearly visible from some distance and could never be kept a secret from one's partner. An adult man is never unaware of his circumcision status as very many women are. Boys have lost their penis while no girl has lost her vagina. More boys have lost their life than girls and it happens in our developed world including Britain, Norway, Italy, USA, Canada etc. No girl has lost her life even with illegal fgm in those countries. again how is it less damaging?

@@elliot7404 Male or female its mutilation. female circumcision was called FGM to make the artificial distinction between male and female circumcision. Man more boys die of from infections or complications than girls do. There is no real evidence to suggest that women who have had FGM are more likely to die in childbirth than those who have not. the clitoris is never removed with FGM, only the hood or the node which is a tiny part of the organ. There are many more nerve endings in the foreskin. Male circumcision ends in complications more often than FGM. I agree infibulation is very barbaric however this accounts for only a small percentage of FGM cases and even in these cases it is usually easier to restore the genitals than with MGM as the clitoris is usually left intact. For every case of infibulation there are upwards of 100 cases of MGM.

@@elliot7404 Well I hope I've been able to correct some misconceptions for you.

@@fritnat I didn't need that I just made a comment on how atrocious fgm is. I mentioned Male circumcision one and I said I did not agree with it not taking away from its value.

Noushie 5000 I know it sounds crazy but if you read these sources done by well known organization you’ll begin to have insight on these other cultures. Same way we do body mods in our country, like tongue splitting, butt implants, etc. But read it with an open mind, I’m not saying it’s ok at all just that it’s not what the general media makes it out to be some horror film scenario. Many woman are in they’re 20s and proud to become a woman this way Two sources www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2015/04/female-genital-mutilation-cutting-anthropologist/389640/ www.bbc.com/news/world-africa-47133941

@@Bradmhj Having you genitals forcefully mutilated as a child is not the same as choosing to split you tongue as an adult. There is no defense for this barbaric practice.

It's becoming more and more medicalised inspired by western male circumcision.

@Reg. Pson Very much so... for example: www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=2&ved=2ahUKEwjEraWhxOjhAhXoMewKHSMlCHEQFjABegQIBhAC&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.popcouncil.org%2Fuploads%2Fpdfs%2F2018RH_UnderstandingMedFGMC-Nigeria.pdf&usg=AOvVaw2uOKYmZuu302CTZEQnT3Er No MGM has not been medicalised for thousands of years but only since the late 19th century together with FGM.

@@fritnat those are two different things fgm is awful and has some awful consequences, yes mc have been medically but fgm has a different story

@@awochoco No, both are genital mutilation. MGM is usually more awful, and is done legally in the entire world! No, they have essentially the same story.

I'm not trying to be pushy but I'm genuinely curious. Have you had it done and how did it affect you or if you haven't has someone close to you had it done?

Chi Asmr I know it sounds crazy but if you read these sources done by well known organization you’ll begin to have insight on these other cultures. Same way we do body mods in our country, like tongue splitting, butt implants, etc. But read it with an open mind, I’m not saying it’s ok at all just that it’s not what the general media makes it out to be some horror film scenario. Many woman are in they’re 20s and proud to become a woman this way Two sources www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2015/04/female-genital-mutilation-cutting-anthropologist/389640/ www.bbc.com/news/world-africa-47133941

@@Bradmhj The fact that something is culturally accepted does not make it objectively okay.

Despite the pain during the circumcision (clitoris and labia), it wasn't terrible for me, but it made me proud and didn't cause any problems. All my girlfriends have had the same experience.

Western ignorance? It is the same, it's genital mutilation! It's a matter of infomred consent and bodily integrity - the right to one's own body, not about sex!

Simon Pope I understand what you base your comment off and I fundamentally agree but circumcision is nowhere near as severe, for different reasons and at an older age

@@aoifek9709 Male circumcision is generally more severe than female circumcision, with the loss of more erogenous and uniquely functional tissue. Generally speaking the age is the same within the same communities practicing it. There are however many communities which only practice male circumcision. The younger the age the more the damage.

Simon Pope link me at least 3 sources which give outright facts to support each claim you made in that comment.

@@fritnat are you genuinely trying to argue that the foreskin is more erogenous and UNIQUELY functional than the clitoris ........ the clit's only function is pleasure......it is the only organ in the human body that can only be used for pleasure. It has nothing to do with the reproductive process. I don't see how the removal of the foreskin is anywhere near the same as having your clitoris cut out, your labia sliced off and your vagina sewn up??? To make them equivalent people would have to cut off half of the penis shaft, slice the foreskin off, and then sew some part of the genitals together. No body who is against fgm would ever be in favour of circumcision. HOWEVER, no woman gets FGM done in a sanitary, medical environment. The cutting is more severe, the loss of organs/tissue is more severe, and they then have to go most likely go through being cut back open on their wedding night, and giving birth. Cutting a baby/child's genitals without their consent is one of the most vile, evil things you can do. But you cannot argue that the loss of a foreskin is in any way worse/equal to the removal of an entire sexual organ, the removal of tissue, and the sewing up of a vagina.

@Ankadu Satish If you weren't dumb and actually knew basic biology, you would know that the penis develops from the clitoris, so they're very similar. Male circumcision removes only the hood, the equivalent would be removing the clitoral hood. But in fgm, the whole head of the clitoris is often removed, or other parts of the vulva are severed or sewed shut, the equivalent would be to cut half of the penis off. This would make urinating very painful and other complications, e.g not being able to feel sexual pleasure. For women, it also hurts when they're on periods and childbirth has many complications, there is an increased risk of death. Male circumcision doesn't have side effects like that, in fact it can have positive effects like reduced risk of infections, but it should be the boy's choice tbh, the parents shouldn't decide for their kid, and the boy should only decide when he is like 18. It is bizzare you think both those things are comparable.

Shandy Leer read the description

Shandy Leer i’d look it up but you can get an idea from the name, ‘female genital mutilation’

FGM is the practice, especially in some cultures of cutting the clitoris off.. there are many other approaches in which people can take , for instance making the vagina opening much smaller. It is mainly done to prohibit women from being sexually active or totally exclude her from being able to orgasm...

All genital mutilation is awful. Something that should be outlawed everywhere.

I survived

Caribbean Curls a lot of them do it willingly and the elder woman encourage it. MSM makes it seem the other way

I feel the same way about circumcision

IceyYou so willingly

@@Bradmhj No. You're wrong. The vast majority of girls who undergo FGM are underaged minors and are forced to do so, either physically or culturally. If an adult woman decides to do this for herself, then fine, but don't you dare romanticize the torture and mutilation of literal children.

I don’t think anyone would choose it (if they were given all the information about it)

How old are you?

What is it

@@jacobwilliams6163 Female genital mutilation

Same

Angelic Gacha I know it sounds crazy but if you read these sources done by well known organization you’ll begin to have insight on these other cultures. Same way we do body mods in our country, like tongue splitting, butt implants, etc. But read it with an open mind, I’m not saying it’s ok at all just that it’s not what the general media makes it out to be some horror film scenario. Many woman are in they’re 20s and proud to become a woman this way Two sources www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2015/04/female-genital-mutilation-cutting-anthropologist/389640/ www.bbc.com/news/world-africa-47133941

MALE genital mutilation is much, MUCH more common. We need to fight against that as well.

maybe men should go through fgm instead?

@@jonahs92 no where near the same did you not hear the question in the start ? If men were having half their dicks chopped off then the remaining sewed up then sure it would be equivalent

Not all Muslims do it but ONLY Muslims do it.

@@dawoool correction, non muslims do it too . Like the girls mentioned in the video it dates back before Muslim was ever practiced. It doesn't have to do with religion it's more traditions that's has been passed on from Egyptian pharaohs. In the Quran it doesn't mention Gfm but people still do it why ? Because of men this is one way of controlling women sexuality.

@@sahraali568 Do any non-Muslims do it today?

@@sahraali568 Controlling women's sexuality? Seems more like destroying women's sexuality to me. IMO, anybody doing it to a little girl should be thrown to lions.

@@dawoool Yes. It happens it the UK and US

Also the black girls with white shirts :).

That’s Nas!!! She’s amazing

A P they are alllll beautiful

ashlee ramsey didn’t say they wasn’t all beautiful, I was just drawn to her appearance more due to her looking so unique. Jeez I can’t even give a compliment without offending anyone 😂

@@channyp7210 I don't even think ashlee was offended LOL

Bonus points if you're doing it on a work computer.

...and 😱

I googled before she said that

@@femkevdw8369 what did you see 🙈😭

I googled back in the days after playing in Desert Flower. It hurts even looking at it

It looked normal but smooth with no low hanging lips. Kinda like it does before you age a lot. I thought it’d look all cut up but it heals naturally kinda like male circumcising

Or who can't have kids

@@kathleenwhite6762 I don't have kids yes

People who don’t want kids. There are men who don’t want kids either.

@@hearmeoutbro men will never give birth to children. So it doesn't matter

How old were all of you?

@@selenalamothe997 18 years old.

Im still looking it up is it stitching the vigiana together

@@fruitpastel3643 thats one form of it

Yes please!!!

Interracial is overrated

If you’re the white girl and he’s the black guy, one of the first questions you get as the girl is ‘soooo how big is the dick’

@@gatestimonymiracle1302 how so?

@@LoganLS0 Interracial dating shouldn't be a wow thing ,its a human dating another human .It's just that both are from different parts of the earth

HELL YES LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK

Taylor Q my cousin has Down syndrome and I will literally punch anyone if they insult him, my whole family loves him so we look out for him but people still judge him it makes me so angry and sad so I would love a video on learning disabilities to teach people that people like my cousin deserves to be treated fairly and like a human

@@rainbowflowerpower4464 you need to calm down if you'll use violence in response of verbal insult. Not really a good role model I'd say.

"Hello"

So true all of these "questions not too ask" are common sense, I would never even dream of asking any of these questions in the first place without having to be told, should be the same for everyone. Manners are a rare thing these days.

@@K-a-n-d-i-s Absolutely! Have a great Sunday. 💞

It is an exclusively Muslim practice.

@@dawoool And yet there were several Christian women in this video, from Christian families, who were baptised as children, talking about their experiences with being survivors of FGM... Mutilation of girls' genitals to discourage them from having sex predates both Christianity and Islam.

@@dawoool Muslim here. No it’s not it’s not written anywhere in the Quran 🤡🤡💀💀💀

@@aim-to-misbehave5674 Its a VERY RARE things some (fake) Christians do, if somebody really has a relationship with Christ they wouldn’t do this to their children. I don’t believe those people were real Christians and truly saved if they’d torture and abuse their child, it also says nothing in the Bible about that. I’ve been a Christian my whole life, I’m 21 and never heard about this being a Christian thing

Yes definitely!! I’ve been asked if my (birth) parents hated me or why wasn’t I wanted so much

Snodge Kat genital mutilation is genital mutilation. 3,000 male infants are strapped down and their genitals are mutilated everyday in the United States and no one cares about them.

@@Benjavaz yes it's genital mutilation and it shouldn't be practiced on anyone, but male circumcision doesn't have all the risks that fgm does. do you know how many girls have died from fgm? not to mention that baby boys get anesthesia before it's done. both are bad, but fgm is worse. often times they use whatever they can find to cut so nothing is clean.

stormageddon darklordofall many infants die from circumcision or experience horrible complications. This isn’t a game of who has it worse. One is not worse than the other.

@@Benjavaz Both bad, but the proces and the damage is worst in fgm. In circumcission, they remowe the foreskin, it would be the same if they have cut of the top of the penis (I don't know how it called in english). Mutilation is mutilation, but some is worst, like if they cut 2 finger off is bad but cuting of the whole hand is worst. Both mutilation, but one cause bigger damage and fgm cause bigger damage.

@@1000nipples So you’d be okay with legalising the instances of type 1 FGM that remove the clitoral hood (tissue that is homologous to the foreskin) so long as it was carried out in hospitals, by doctors, using anaesthesia?

It's just a group of activists making claims, how would you know what to believe? Actually the federal law banning FGM in USA had been thrown out so those charged had the charges dropped, so it kind've looks like there is repect for their religious tradition. They're doing it for the same reason so many americans circumcise their boys: religion and tradition.

@@fritnat But that doesn’t make it right either. You can’t/shouldn’t mutilate someone & use religion/culture as a back up. That doesn’t make it any better.

@@Lynxitid No it certainly doesn't however the video is doing exactly that by making out that the genital mutilation of boys is something entirely different, something trivial and any comparison not to be taken seriously.

@@fritnat there certainly are differences to the two & the levels of each operation/mutilation. I’ve noticed a lot of comments tryin to make it an oppression olympics almost. Like both are absolutely terrible.

@@Lynxitid What essential differences and what levels? How is pointing out the divisiveness, the racism and the hypocrisy making it almost an "oppression olympics"?

Person: sees marks which are very obviously self harm Person: "whats that?"

"yOuRE gONnA rEgRET tHaT u kNoW" Yeah no shit, we aren't doing it for the aesthetic

Yeah & include those who have obvious long-healed scars. It might have been a long time ago and they've recovered but don't need people bringing up the past!

Go jump in a lake?

@@anyaperceives It wasn't advice! it was a suggestion as to what shouldn't be said.

Some do it for their God as in Islam. Refer to the comments by Nomopoly 2 above (sort by newest)

some doctors will help but some will just see and not help. That’s why I’m scared of telling anyone or any doctor

@AmaZing ! I am so sorry for you experience 💔

From what I understand, FGM survivors do have to have special consideration during pregnancy and labor.

It's not the same thing though. First of male circumcision has no real consequences. FGM, on the other hand, can cause a lot of harm to the woman from constant urinary tract infections and pain during sex to complications with childbirth and fertility. Secondly, male circumcision is performed to promote hygiene while FGM is performed to control a woman's sexuality and prove her virginity. Comparing male circumcision and FGM is like saying breaking your pinkie finger is the same as breaking your leg. They're very different things and of course you can be against male circumcision, but in general that has little to in a conversation about FGM.

@@totallynoticarus That's the point of my answer, if someone doesn't know a thing about FGM, can said person put that question across without being told they're ignorant or an idiot. Quite a few SJWs (this is NOT a commentary on you, btw!) wanna jump on people, rant, call ignorance because of a genuine question that just warrants a genuine answer, without the _"That's so offensive!"_ line. I admit myself I knew little about FGM before watching, but knew that it is not the same as male circumcision BUT playing 'Devil's Advocate' to those who don't know, and therefore don't want to ask because of the possible backlash response.

@@totallynoticarus I can tell you from experience that the female 'cut' does not have to be as severe as the general male circumcision. I think this will depend on the tradition of those who make the cuts. This not to say it is a good thing.

Well, to the people who've died from male circumcision I would say there were "real consequences" lol. Many other boys have had to have the head of their penis amputated due to the circumcision being botched. @@totallynoticarus

No childbirth risk for mgm, and the trauma is usually more severe with more complications for FGM. The power differential between how men control the lives of the girls it is done to and often abuse the girls it is done to. The fact that men are the most likely writers and originators of the idea of mgm and FGM. The fact that a doctor who works on this area of surgery said that to be comparable, the head of the penis, not the foreskin would be removed. What FGM does to someone’s sex life and health in general is worse than males who have had mgm. Some men actually have circumcision done to improve their health or sexual functioning, while this is not really the case with FGM.

Yes! And include c-ptsd! Many people seem to think the kind of issues behind C-PTSD "don't count" as "real" trauma. That goes for a huge proportion of traumas

Sorcha O'Reilly what’s c-PTSD?

@@elm2908 Complex PTSD. It tends to be from a longer term situation that which doesn't necessarily have to involve such a shocking incident as what people usually associate with PTSD. Someone might develop it from an abusive relationship for example.

Sorcha O'Reilly ahh ok thankyou for explaining

What?? The misunderstandings people have on FGM and examples of ignorance that this video highlights shows that the full impact it has fails to be acknowledged as to a degree it's IGNORED

Female genital mutilation. An extremely harmful practice

Oh thanks, i had a feeling if i googled it i would get more than i wanted

Dolapo Not cool this shit (even a picture) can traumatized/scar ppl for life. Suggested images could've easily popup on her search page 😭

That's the reason i wanted the explanation first, i was nervous about what would pull up

mutilating (cutting etc) the female private parts. it’s very bad and used to put women off having sex because people are sexist and controlling

They literally said it's a cultural thing before Islam and Christianity

Children are having parts of their body cut away without any pain relief, of course it’s horrible