the fact that Lilian looks like a “stereotypical” lesbian but is bi/pan goes to show that stereotypes don’t mean anything. and it’s so interesting that some lesbians are like “well a bisexual woman will just end up with a man anyway so why should i bother” because by doing that they become part of the problem why there’s a smaller dating pool of women for bi women (and why bi women are more likely to be with men). they contribute to the problem lmao. hope that makes sense XD.
No bisexual women are with men because there are wayyy more men than lesbians and because they want to be with men. Also there are more bisexual women than lesbians. Please stop blaming lesbians for why most bisexual women don't date women. We aren't a big enough number to influence that.
@@greymatters7284 okay firstly bro their point still is relevant...the dating pool honestly reduces with the tons of rejection of ppl who identify as any gender. Also I’m pretty sure they meant to convey the message that some lesbians do think in that way n just doesn’t involve with bi women at all just becoz of what they identify as ..n that honestly sucks
1. Stop demonising lesbian community 2. This makes no sense bc bi women can still date other bi women so u can’t say that lesbians are the reason bi women end up with men 3. Most lesbians date bi women I’m sick of this whole channel being full of lesbphobia it makes me feel so hurt and angry as a lesbian
@@memethingz6004 I’m sorry didn’t mean to hurt you by my comment. But can I just say one thing even tho bi women can still date other bi women there is less in proportion n u don’t see one everyday now do u ? And also that doesn’t stop the problem some ppl have..so how is that a solution? Also like actually again I reinstate that “some” lesbians or so any woman who also likes women for that matter do not engage with other women who likes multiple genders merely becoz they have attractions towards other genders too. Now again I said “some” do this becoz of biphobic prejudices while others have valid reasons relating to heartbreak n loss of trust so yea. Again I’m rlly sorry if this comment also hurts u. Sending Love and Support to u regardless 🎉❤️ 🌈
One thing that I would want to say about why so many bisexual women might be in straight relationships is because a lot of us didn't figure out we were bi until later or weren't comfortable with saying we were by until later in life and by then we were with men. Personally I had a feeling that I was by when I was younger, but I wasn't comfortable with it until I was much older and by then I was already in a straight relationship.
@@wkdgrneyesif you can have s€x with both youre bissexual. I dont understand your point. And this is exactly the reason i avoid lesbians i prefer bi or pan ppl.
@@newbestofthis4422 agreed, but Lillian, why are you always asking how your hair looks? It looks great no matter what color, length, etc. You're both so beautiful you should be doing hair and skin commercials, or modeling. You guys could produce a generous income with this channel.
Why wouldn't someone want to date a bisexual? The girl I'm interested in is bisexual and I honestly don't care. A person is a person and if they chose you, enjoy that
tbh when i red this, i actually teared up XD i've been rlly confused & frustrated of how or what should i do with my bi bf (i'm straight & a girl) with him telling me liking certain things regarding men whether be it sex, art or men in general and idk why i feel so uncomfortable but i dont rlly want to be. i just dont know what action to take especially he's my first ever bf and i've never dealt with a bisexual person before :')
@@equaus5276 oh i bet ur in a rlly tough spot but ik that'll pass. i just trusted him with all of my heart, and with the help of him convincing me that he doesn't want being with anyone else, regardless of gender. i came to be comfortable abt his bisexuality bc knowing the fact that i'm the person he chose to love got me chill and i just got to enjoy that. the insecurity of not being the opposite sex will gradually fade away when they actually prove how much they love you and only you :3
@@smthpeachy5628 Thank you I hope it does go away since it's not a nice feeling. My biggest fear is that she'll want to "explore" if you know what I mean, I don't think she would but still it's a thought of mine. Or if there's say a girls night and something happened while drinking, be it a kiss or more. Again I don't she would do this, but now that I know she's bi I won't ever be able to similate that other satisfaction if you know what I mean. I know I'm a stranger but what type of relationship do you have? Totally fine with you not answering btw. Thanks
I'm a guy who is in a monogamous relationship with a bisexual woman for the first time. I accepted her the way she is, regardless of her sexual orientation and past experiences with both genders. Love can happen in all sorts of circumstances and that's been the best lesson for me. Thank you for this video 🙏🏼
@Yibambe. maybe that's por POV and I respect that, what I hope you understand it's a preference, everyone has their preferences on what they're looking on a person and it's up to you if you want that person in your life or not. Blessings💙
before even seeing the whole video: as a queer woman (I prefer this label over bisexual) I stopped dating people who make assumptions about me based on my sexual orientation. it's called self love.
Can definitely relate! I’ve stopped calling myself bisexual as well as I am more comfortable with going by queer. No gonna lie the term “bisexual” made me feel trapped.
@@jadaramirez3334 I'm fine with the label bisexual in general but since there are still people who assume it's transphobic and I'd like to avoid misunderstandings in that area, I just go by queer. (also because I still haven't figured out if I'm actually gay or not.)
I super appreciate this video!!! To add another reason why a lot of bi/pan women end up with men - internalized biphobia can keep them in the closet until they're deep in a committed monogamous straight passing relationship. I think a lot of women either don't figure it out or can't fully admit it to themselves until later in life. So they might not have had opportunity to date women. I was so ashamed after my first experience with a woman that it took me twelve years to admit my sexuality to myself. Part of that shame was because I knew what people would think and say. Biphobia keeps bisexuals in the straight-passing closet, and a quick Google will show what the closet does to our mental and physical health.
Ive just started liking a girl romantically for the first time after thinking I was straight for a long time. I was really anxious about being accepted within the lgtb community and your advice really calmed me down and made me things a lot clearer. Thank you so much 🙏🏼
I read this think piece recently written by a gay man talking about the "bisexual problem" and the whole thing was mostly about "bisexual people are either in non monogamous relationships or they are giving up a part of their identity" and like excuse me but what the fuck. Are straight and gay people giving up a part of their identity when they are monogamous? You're still attracted to other people even if you are in a relationship, this doesn't mean you need to act on it or even want to. How can people refuse to see that it isn't our behaviours that solely define us, and having a partner doesn't mean your sexuality is your partner's gender, I know I'm bi because of my internal feelings not my actions and acting on every single attraction I have or not doesn't change it or deny my identity.
That gay man was referring to himself so I don’t know why he was speaking for anyone else. I would feel like I’m giving up my identity if I was monogamous and so would my bi girlfriends. I couldn’t relate to being bi and monogomous but it’s a very valid choice 😊
sexuality is so fluid, it makes no sense to me that people make assumptions based on labels, especially from people in the LGBT community. thank you for shining light on these topics, as you guys always do! i hope your air b&b situation gets sorted out soon!
I’m bi, but i used to prefer the heteroflexible label for the longest time because i never felt “worthy” of embracing being bi simply because I had never been in a relationship with a woman. now I’ve realised that this was influenced by my own internalised biphobia but also from passing judgement from other queer friends. I still have not been in an official relationship with a woman but I’ve always believed that love is about timing, and the timing of my life made me meet this wonderful guy and now we’ve been together for 2 years!
It’s crazy because my bf recently asked me what community do I feel like I’m from & I told him I’m in my own community because I feel like I don’t fit in anywhere. I think your video is so amazing and inspiring
Found this video when my Girlfriend of nearly 2 months now told me shes Bi, i want to accept it and her, im finding it very difficult but only because of my own insecurities, i wanted to say this video really helped me to to see things in a different light and I ful accept the way she is, i just need to work on myself and my own confidence. thank you very much for the video. it helped alot.
How many years you been together I’m worried about my relationship that’s why I don’t want to fall out of a relationship I can’t deal with problems she always yells at me I need help and advice plz help me
My experience as a bi woman: I almost started dating a girl when I was a teenager, but I chickened out because I was worried about how my parents might react. A few months later I got into a relationship with a boy. I'm now 30 and have been in almost back to back long term relationships with men ever since, and I only truly accepted my bisexuality a few years ago, while with my current partner. The amount of biphobia I get when I mention my sexuality is insane - "how can you be bi, you've never dated/had s*x with a woman?!" Ironically it's this kind of biphobia, that I have internalised throughout my life, that meant I didn't come out sooner, and will make me very anxious to date women if I become single again. :( biphobia has to stop!!
i would be interested to hear you guys talk about a new discourse i came across on Twitter. That being people who call themselves “bisexual lesbians”. What this means is bisexual women with a preference for women. Personally i think it’s weird and lesbian erasure. Since lesbian means an attraction exclusively to women. Putting bisexual and lesbian together is therefore an oxymoron. It would make more sense to say “sapphic bisexual” or something if one has a preference for women. Idk, Twitter is wild...
I think in the end, if a label resonates with you personally, it should be okay to use it, just for yourself. But I understand it can be confusing too. I think historically, a lot of bi women used to be referred to as lesbians, or lesbian used to be used interchangeably with sapphic, though I don't fully remember all the info about this. I know some people use bisexual lesbian to mean that they are sexually attracted to many genders, but romantically only into women.
@@AraG05 not to mention how often people naturally refer to wlw relationships as lesbians. They see a wlw couple in the media / real life / socials and refer to them as a ' lesbian relationship'. If people don't think lesbian can be an umbrella term the people need to stop using it that way. It's weird to me if I dated a woman others would be able to refer to us as ' lesbians' and yet I can't. Completely agree we shouldn't gatekeeper labels and that lesbian did used to include all wlw.
@@BethanyBell hon, you can’t gatekeep a label from someone that is -not- that label. Lesbian isn’t an umbrella term for your sexuality , nor can you divide it or compartmentalise it for you convenience. Lesbians are only romantically and sexually attracted to women. Period. Bi women would be referred to as lesbians because of bisexual erasure, stop perpetuating it
@@AraG05 Lesbian like every other sexuality, has a definition. You don't fit that definition, no problem - don't use it. But don't broaden the definition to the point where it literally means nothing anymore just to fit you, and then pretend like you're the authority on it Some women genuinely just aren't attracted to men, never have been and never will be and I think that deserves its own label. There's an inherent difference in the experience of being exclusively homosexual compared to (even slightly or occasionally) bi. And that's okay! It doesn't mean you like women any less. But feeling the need to use the lesbian label to express that attraction only contributes to bi erasure, while also hurting lesbians who then lose the language to describe their specific experience. you don't choose to call a brunette a brunette they simply are
This is so helpful, especially for those out in the dating world. I never knew the stigma of being bi until I entered the lesbian dating community a few years ago. In my opinion, the most important thing is communication. If you’re interested in someone communicate accurately so the person doesn’t think they’re going into some type situation they aren’t really interested in, like you know... 🦄 ~A
For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh - Galatians 5:17 My sister, if you seek God with all your heart, you will find Him and you will find peace..give Jesus a chance to give you the peace you have been longing for. You are His. If you ask Him, He will strengthen you. Jesus said, live in the Spirit and you will not yield to the desires of your flesh. Choose life...Jesus died for you that you may have life..live for Him and you will find peace for your soul.
I really love all of your videos but I absolutely appreciate the more serious ones like this one bc I think it is so important to sort of give these thougts and topics a voice, to make a point and make people think about these issues. So, thank you!
Love this video. Bi soft butch woman here. That graph looks like my dating pool online no lie, especially Tinder. I want to clarify that just because a person has attraction to more than one gender does not mean that person is non-monogamous. People can be monogamous or non-monogamous regardless of their orientation. There's really nothing wrong with non-monogamy if you do it right. Ethical non-monogamy isn't cheating because the partner you're with at the moment knows you're seeing other people too. There's different types, like polyamory. It's not everyone's cup of tea, but monogamy shouldn't be the only accepted type of relationship.
1:30 MOST bi women prefer men and that has a bigger impact than gay women flat out refusing bi women. Also the reason gay women refuse to date bi women IS because of bi womens preference for men and the issues that arise from that.
Correlation does not equal causation. Gay community is tiny, and it’s easier for a woman to meet a man who’s interested in dating her than a lesbian. Think real life situations. You’re on a train, in the pub, in the shop. Say 50% men vs 50% women. 1 in 50 women won’t be straight. 49 men in 50 will be heterosexual. What are the odds of a bisexual person finding mutual attraction with a woman or a man in this scenario? Obviously, the odds are much more in favour of men. Those numbers aren’t 100% accurate but they are close, and they do reflect the ‘why’. If you want to buy a carrot, do you drive a 100 miles to the nearest farmer and dig it yourself, when you can find one at a local supermarket?
@@misscogito9865 no its not. It's a fact. If bi women actually tried to date girls instead of monkey chaining from one het relationship to the next maybe they'd have gfs. I see w/w relationships everywhere now. Stop blaming lesbian women on why bi women aren't dating women. I personally would date a bi woman but all the ones I've met were involved with a man while they wanted to experiment with me.
@@SP-mf9sh This is an opinion. Definition of laziness is a fact. Calling someone lazy is a value judgment, based on a standard you (and only you) feel they should meet. Facts are not subject to interpretation.
I’m so glad that you’re talking about this. I’m thankful for your decision to make this video, especially as a bisexual person. I’m also thankful that you brought up the topic of labels and how they can sometimes impact us negatively, because it’s so important we talk about that a lot more! My two cents is that there are both pros and cons to the system of labels we have now and only open and honest communication will help us find solutions to smooth out the rough edges-but it’s a very complex system with a direct cause and effect relationship with the larger and often times oppressive heteronormative society that we’ve all been reared into. It’s definitely worthy of a lot of discussion.
Personally I see labels as a dual edged sword-and I think one of the problems with labels is we tend to see in black and white. Not just when it comes to the labels themselves, but also in how we think of them. If we can learn to wield the dual edged sword with skill and experience, we’d be unstoppable badasses! It doesn’t have to be something we accidentally stab ourselves with, but unfortunately I hear so many disappointed queer people say that they’re not proud to be in the LGBTQ+ community, and they often bring up the abundance of labels and our tendency to assign them to ourselves and others too quickly and judge someone by them too much as an example as to why. As for me, I definitely think this is a problem we must work on, but I’m still proud to be a part of this community. We all have room to grow, right? But there is also so much beauty in what we are and potential to bring out and complement the beauty that already is, we’re not a lost cause no matter what anyone says! We’re so new to being out of the closet as a society that we’re still getting our sea legs, is all, just a work in progress! Meanwhile, labels also serve a positive purpose in a lot of people’s lives-they help us find validation, a community of like minded people who get us, and help us communicate with others as to what we want in a relationship and what pronouns we feel comfortable with. (Cause gender dysphoria is rough!)
My girlfriend is bisexual and beautiful. This video was very insightful and educational. Daily I’m thankful she chose me out of all the men and women. I’m the luckiest man alive!
I’ve dated 4 girls who were bisexual or pan at the time of dating them. Given what I went through to finally accept myself and in finding acceptance in a community, I don’t understand the inability to accept another in my community for who they are. One ex dumped me (presumably was cheating on me) and then posted pics with a guy. But she could just as easily have done that with another girl. The other bi /pan women/non-bin were loyal. I never knew about the stigma until I saw it online lol
I don't think so.. bi women have more options to cheat and they are more fluctuating with their sexual urges. Lesbians and straight dudes have waay less chances to get laid.
What a great video! I met a bi-sexual male and we are interested in each other. I don’t want to say or think the wrong thing so I’m educating myself. Thank you ladies.🙂
It’s also because he’s been two decades of your life constantly questioning whether you’re by and then finally you leave a toxic relationship and figure out that it’s OK to be who you really are.
I prefer to date a lesbian because I prefer to date women who can relate to me on that level. It's the same reason why I prefer to date women of my same ethnic background. It has nothing to do with hating bisexual women.
@@anabluu No I'm not racist. I'm an African American woman and it's just safer to date someone of the same background if you're a minority. If I really love someone I would just go for it.
Loving the hair Lillian! I think what's key here is that times have changed over the last 50 odd years ( yes I was there in the beginning so I know), & we're all more educated, tolerant & compassionate towards who wants what with whom. The important thing is, are you a decent, kind & loving human being? 💖💖💖👍👍 🇬🇧 🇬🇧
I'm a lesbian and I WOULD date a bisexual woman :-) ( and i can already feel the hatefull thoughts like" yea your probably also bi".. nope proud lesbian) i dont understand all the hate around it but it is for sure there and it is sad really. i think if you really are comfortable with yourself you dont care ... that's my experience. also if you both chose each other.. i mean thats says it all, right! peace and love from Belgium xx
Hey! Totally random but, as someone who was always interested in women more than men (but only dated men), I find it difficult to even navigate there. How does one find another bisexual/lesbian? I am totally new to this and I think that they don't even look at me as I definitely am a stereotypical straight looking woman. Really need help there :D
@@ThePrivet18 I have the same question, I have always liked girls but i feel like they just dont reciprocrate because i dress in a very femenine way and they think im straight. It just sucks, i would love to be in a relationaship w a woman i like. I would say u could try tinder tho, you never know. But im honestly sad about this topic, hope more lesbians see it the same way!
@@ThePrivet18 Hey :-)Trust me, we will be looking at you haha. Iit's just when you go out or see a woman you like, to be open and see what happens. I'm totally comfortable with straightlooking women who also like women, looks dont matter, its the vibee you give, and someone will match that. have fun!
@@momitaax6064 i love it when women dress feminine and it does not stop me from pursuing or approaching them because i think they could be straight, when the vibe is there I for it :-)
Thank you so much for valuable videos like that. I really also appreciate the use of different terms and giving it a place in your conversation; genders, monogamy, polyamory, etc.
Excellent points!! 👍 I started dating girls seriously in the 90’s, and I was SHOCKED and disgusted by the rampant ignorance and biphobia in the gay community. Thank you for speaking up for us 💗💗 Sending prayers for your living situation to improve ASAP 🙏💗
We aren't biphobic. We just don't want to date or hook up with girls who have bfs and are married. I don't want to be used as a human dildo and a threesome option. The only interactions I've had with bi women have been girls trying to be sneaky and get some side p outside of their het relationships. Bi and straight women are rarely single because there's always a new guy to replace the other right away..bfs are easier to find. We are open to dating bi women if they are A) currently single b) loyal c) in it for the long term. If not then we give them the door and they have the audacity to call us "biphobic" for having standards and boundaries. Lesbians are human beings not toys. Other then that we are peace and harmony. Don't play games and you should be good :)
My wife is bisexual we have been together for 30yrs married for 7 yrs.Not once has it ever bothered me.I agree labels are bad news i thunk we should get past it and just say we are all human and like who ever we want to like that why its not an issue.I believe most people have at least through about the same sex even if its just for a second does that mean they are bi? Like i said people are people and we should just move past it x
I as a lesbian I can tell the opposite I did not mind bisexuals I wanted to date them but every time they were mean to me and nonchalant of what I have been through as a lesbian woman😢
Sameee but people constantly try to push the narrative that lesbians are bigoted and bis are the victims and ignore all the lesbphobia that comes from bi people….
yeah tbh from my perspective as a fem lesbian, bisexual women AND other lesbians are not really interested in me :/ Its like I have the smallest dating pool to choose from because other fems don’t like me, masc girls want a straight or bisexual girl usually (and girls having no pubes and stuff like that matters to them so i just find their mentality kinda annoying), and bisexual girls NEVER seem interested in me at all lol, they want someone more masculine.
There will always be some people who don't care, or some people you as a person missunderstand because you want a specific reaction. Remember everybody have something they have been through, we shouldn't think our experience is worse then others or demand more attention. I am a bi muslim woman, who is still somehow alive. I am married to a woman, is not living in the country I was raised in. But I am greatful I am alive, it could be much worse. And honestly there is not much more to say about it, it's easy to find lesbians who are insecure around bi woman, but I don't belive all are just because I have met some, and the other way around. So find people who want to listen, there are millions out there and you are alive.
Im pan, married to a guy. I didnt realise i was pan until my 30s, already in a loving committed relationship... I've wondered what my life would be like if I had joined the dots sooner.. sounds like it would have sucked lol
As a lesbian, in gay bars, nothing is more insidious, and hallmarked by bisexual women trying to be stealth, after seeing her eyeing you up, and casually walk up to you "because she is interested". Cut to the fact, I saw her already. with her BF, and when, (because you don't want to be rude) she comes up to you and thinks you're interested because you gave her the ritual of human politeness to talk to her. Nod to the boyfriend, "were in!" He casually comes up, seemingly out of nowhere and she says "I have a man in my life" Good for you bisexual woman! I wasn't interested in you in the first place. Don't act mad. Shit or get off the pot. This happens to lesbians ad nauseam.
As a pansexual cis-male, I wanted to give my heartfelt support to my bisexual sisters. Straight men will fetishize you. Lesbians will reject you for betraying the sisterhood for a man. I know the pain. 70% of women won't date me. Gay men treat me like I'm an immature "phase." And yet, we are amazing. We are more than the sum of sexual object choice. We are about a kind of transcendence of object. For me, placing genitals as the first and exclusive sexual criterion means that object supersedes humanity. Thing is more important than human value. I believe we need to stand together and I stand with you. I MARKEDLY prefer bisexual women over straight women.
Important addition: An argument I heard a lot of times is that bisexual women are more likely to cheat or that the person saying this has been cheated on before by a bisexual person. Well that's because that one specific person is a cheater not because of their sexuality. It's just as possible to be cheated on by another lesbian as it is by a bisexual.
Thanks for this , Bisexuals are most misinterpreted i feel, most of the people criticise and ask following question 'what makes you swinging both sides?' I feel sad after listening this, as if they have some subtext behind this statement. Also being Polyamerous is also criticised badly as if being poly means you are kind of cheating someone, i want to say to everyone please clear your concepts about LGBTQIA+ everyone have some qualities , and no one should defame anyone. Thanks lilian and alexis for your videos they really helps.
I think the main reason a bi girl will end up in a straight relationship it's simply because of statistics. There's a higher percentage of free straight and bi men out there than of bi or lesbian girls. I'm only talking by personal experience at dating apps, so I might be wrong. But I'm sure it's in some point related with that.
It just scares me a bit because I’m worried that life is “easier” with a man and they might leave for the “easier” life. Im looking for something long term and want something that can last. I would definitely be willing, just would have to work through that.
If someone leaves you for an "easier life" they are not for you. You wouldn't want to be with someone so shallow, you deserve a better person. I believe that regardless of sexuality, that is a fear lots have.
My partner said her past bi partners did end up going for the ‘easier’ life . But I never did . And have no intention to. 7 years and going strong . I do point out to her I am still bisexual . Like when we watch marvel and I like Thor more than she does ! But what I’m trying to say is , you’re right it can happen. But when you find the right person, it won’t . You’ll both be in the right headspace so try not to put you off too much giving it a go . I’ve had so much prejudice from gay girls that made dating women so hard as they weren’t even willing to give it a chance
but that can also happened with a lesbian.. what if she doesn't want to be with you anymore... if a bisexual woman want to be with you is because she want to be with you.. and relationships doesn't endure forever... I am bisexual and I really want to be in long term relationship with a woman but it's so fucking hard
@@Julygeo you don't understand why it hurts more to be left by the woman you love for an easier life with a man because you love men as well and are blind to how homophobia and patriarchy impacts lesbians specifically. this is why many lesbians don't like dating bisexual women. they don't understand our pov. it hurts more because it just reinforces the notion that you as a lesbian are a lesser partner for her specifically because you are a woman.
Life is much harder with a man, not easier. They don't have a clue about how it is to be a woman and it's exhausting to explain all the time. Maybe some bi/pan women care more about what society thinks than if they themselves are happy that's why they end up with men, as society judges a straight couple less. But I do not know even one woman that is happy in a straight relationship, and I know thousands of people.
We shouldn’t get rid of labels just because they confuse some people. Labels help many people describe themselves and give them a sense of community. I, for one, love labels because they help me easily relate to people like me and give me a sense of pride in who I am. Point is, labels are there for people who want them. I’m not gonna force anyone to use them just because I like them. Either use them or don’t. It’s not too complicated. If you really break it down, the acronym LGBT wouldn’t even exist without labels. They serve a purpose. I wouldn’t want a world where those words no longer existed just because some people don’t like to use them.
@@ama7430 No problem! I totally understand and respect anyone who doesn’t like to use labels for themselves. They aren’t for everyone. But I do think labels have a place in the LGBT+ community because of how important they are to a lot of people.
Bisexual is a big spectrum because I’m more sexually attracted to women but more romantically attracted to men. For me it’s a half/half thing, wish I was all the way gay or all the way straight
I think that bisexual folks have such a hard time with their partners because jealousy and insecurity is such a big issue in many romantic relationships. Definitely need a partner that is secure in themselves. Also, thank you for pointing out the statistics 😂
I'm a straight hetero couple and I'm thinking that if I knew what you said today when I was your age, I may have been bisexual, but it's too late to start now. In my twenties it was taboo. And as both my husband and I watched your video today, we looked at each other and with our eyes said hmmm, I wonder if both of us could've been bi. Just saying. It's been 30 years now and a lot has changed. Thanks for your wisdom.
You don't have to have experiences with someone of the same gender to identify as bisexual. So maybe you now realise that you are attracted to women as well but never have been with one. That doesn't mean that you aren't bi. It's not too late to call yourself that 😊
I’m bi, I’ve always been more attracted to women than men. I can see myself in a long, sweet relationship with a woman, not a man. But I know a lot of lesbians don’t like bi :( Thank you for this video ❤️
A very good point is brought out here, that if you are bisexual, it is far easier to find someone of the other gender to date than someone of your own gender. If you are a guy, there are women everywhere who like guys! But hardly any men who like other men. So it is understandable that, if you are able to date someone of the gender other than yours, it's just more likely you'll find such a person who is attracted to people of your gender. However, as is said here, that does not mean you are "straight." This is because you could very easily date people of your own gender if more of them were attracted to you like you are attracted to them.
make sense, but I also think sometimes it is harder to manage a monogamous and committed relationship when your partner is bi or pan (of course not all of them). because there are some attributes between men and woman that are very different inherently (at least for most gender-conforming people). I am just talking in general, of course every individual is different, but I don't really agree with the statement saying that dating bi, and pan is the same as dating a straight or gay people. people should be aware that there could be more complexity in dating a bi or pan person.
so important, thanks for making this video! i've also been moving several times during the pandemic, I feel your pain! for everyone else that might be moving too - hope that we can all settle into a lovely place soon.. xx
It is written "For the desires of the flesh is against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh." If you seek God with all your heart, you will find Him and you will find peace..give Jesus a chance to give you the peace you have been longing for. You are His. If you ask Him, He will strengthen you. Jesus said, live in the Spirit and you will not yield to the desires of your flesh. Choose life...Jesus died for you that you may have life..live for Him and you will find peace for your soul.
i have had people say 'I hate women who say they are bi then only date men..' I have wanted to date more women but it was a LOT easier to follow through / start dates with men (online dating) and based on how many people I have met it just worked out that way, i wish people would recognise this more
Oh my god I agree so much and feel so seen! Thank you for making this video and good luck with your move, I know it is not easy, I have moved myself about 4 times now and there is light at the end of the tunnel! Take care, greetings from Belgium! :)
I was talking to this girl in high-school who told me she was bi. I was a little disappointed but I still want to see if I can date them because I really like them.
Thank you guys, I think it's never too much to put those valuable messages out there and you just brought things perfectly to the point! :) Hope everything will work out for you both with moving and everythin else xx
Is it okay to not tell people you are bisexual from the start? Like, say you are gay on a dating app but then tell them you are bi if you further the relationship?
you shouldn't have to do that, if someone doesn't want to date you bc you're bi they're not ones you should be dating. So I would advise against it so that you actually attract genuine people, but as a lesbian person I dont mind bi people using 'gay' as a label
Just be honest with them from the start. If the person isn’t able to able to accept you then you shouldn’t change. You can always find somebody better :-)
Yes, biphobia is real. But so is lesbophobia which gen z ppl are even embarrassed to identify by lesbian I feel. Personally, I think my issue with bisexuality is the side of performative heterosexuality that invalidates female relationships. I’ve seen that be very discriminatory and hurtful to sapphic women. No form of hate is acceptable. But it’s necessary to look at all the sides of preconceptions of bisexuality that permeate and bleed into disapproval. Lesbians not accepting bisexuality with open arms is likely because they’ve been or known someone who has been hurt. It’s unfortunate but just because of hurt doesn’t mean we should not acknowledge and accept ppl with open arms. Just a lot of dynamics for maybe a 3 hour video on women and sexuality.
I don’t think being bi has anything to do with someone being cheated on. You are just as like,y to be cheated on when dating a queer person, you’re just highlighting it more if they cheated on you with someone of the opposite sex.
@@alexisyates28 i don’t think it’s just cheating though. or just because of romantic relationships. just a general disregard of what existing in the world as a lesbian is really like. feeling not understood, or perpetuating heteronormative or homophobic things that they’ve internalized and are maybe less likely to see because they don’t understand what not being attracted to men is actually like and how it affects you. doesn’t give anyone an excuse to put blanket statements on an entire group of people, just that there’s a lot of hurt behind it that doesnt necessarily have to do with being left for a man.
Anybody got any advice. I’ve been with my bf on and off, we met after I had broken up with another bisexual guy because he cheated on me with several girls, then after me and my current bf broke up for the first time I got with another bisexual guy who talked to other girls while we were together and then dated my friend after ghosting me, this was 2 years ago, last year I got with my current bf again and then broke up and decided to take time to myself, I started healing a little and was at a point where I was content w myself, I didn’t talk to anybody for that whole year
Now this current year, I got w my bf, he told me he was gay and never liked girls which helped me feel more secure in my relationship, then I found nudes of his ex during the first month we dated, I broke up with him again but it didn’t hurt nearly as much when I got cheated on for a girl, now me and my bf have been happy for several months and recently he came out to me as bisexual, I immediately started feeling scared and hatred towards him, I know I shouldn’t feel that way but I can’t help it and I honestly don’t know what to do, I really do love him but i don’t know if our relationship is actually healthy or not, as well he’s been over friendly with a couple girls who have liked him but he stopped talking to them when I asked him to but he still wants to talk to one of them cuz they were close friends, but it hurts and I’m confused and scared, I just want to know what to think and what to do, please give advice and I’m no way am I hating the bisexual community I’m just trying to understand my emotions and what is right for me to do
The bit about straight (and bi) men being more common and more likely to ask us out is so true. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush and male birds are always landing in my hands.
Ok I have a question. Ive always understood bisexual to be atrracted to female or male gender. As far as Pan sexual, I understood that to be any gender or sexual orientation. You love people and it doesnt matter the label? Im just trying to understand
Bi - attracted to genders similar to yours and different than yours Pan - attracted to people, regardless of gender It's about whether gender enters into the equation for you or not. It's not about "only men and women" vs "anybody". The Bisexual Manifesto back in 1990 rejected the idea that bi people are "half-gay, half-straight" and said: "Bisexuality is a whole, fluid identity. Do not assume that bisexuality is binary or dougamous in nature; that we must have "two" sides or that we MUST be involved simultaneously with both genders to be fulfilled human beings. In fact, don't assume that there are only two genders." So bisexuality has always been inclusive of all genders. Bisexuality now is also considered to be an umbrella term that includes pansexuality.
@@memethingz6004 If you seek God with all your heart, you will find Him and you will find peace..give Jesus a chance to give you the peace you have been longing for. You are His. If you ask Him, He will strengthen you. Jesus said, live in the Spirit and you will not yield to the desires of your flesh. Choose life...Jesus died for you that you may have life..live for Him and you will find peace for your soul. For the desire of the flesh is against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh
Great! Enjoy your experiences. Only a few people know, but don't feel I need to come out. I think realizing I was Bi to myself was more important. I hope you get to enjoy great experiences with other women.
I meant to say this yesterday, Lilian, your right eye looks very watery. Also, I'm so sorry that you girls were pulled out suddenly out of your apartment (I was following the drama with your landlord). I hope you find something even better.
There's this assumption about how bi people are just promiscous and if they're with one gender, they'll want to be with a different gender as well, and that's so not true. Idk it's as simple as: I've felt attacted to women, men and non binary people, that's all, but every time I've been into someone, they've of course been enough for me and they've been special to me. Thanks for the representation, specially to Lilian tbh.👏🏻👏🏻💛
For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh - Galatians 5:17 My sister, if you seek God with all your heart, you will find Him and you will find peace..give Jesus a chance to give you the peace you have been longing for. You are His. If you ask Him, He will strengthen you. Jesus said, live in the Spirit and you will not yield to the desires of your flesh. Choose life...Jesus died for you that you may have life..live for Him and you will find peace for your soul. Hell is real..many atheists and gays have seen it during NDE [near death experience] Jesus died for you that you may have ternal life with Him..give Jesus a chance to transform you..you will not lose anything but gain more than what you can ever imagine.
My case is completely different. I was dating a guy, I am straight girl btw. He was in relationship with me for one year, and he didn't tell me his reality about this. He used me physically saying that he loves me truly but actually he never did. Later on he said his reality to me after one year and without caring for me he left me. After those physical relationship I just cannot control myself. Still in depression
I’m talking to a bisexual women who never dated a women and now I can see why. I get how bisexual women have a hard time finding girls to date because often they look straight. Honestly, same I look straight, so men would question my sexuality as being lesbian. Anyways going back to my bisexual crush!! She feels more comfortable with men than women, so I’m discourage to talk to her lol. However she said her preference are women, but I don’t know which way??? I should talk to her about that but I don’t want to make her feel attack. Because sometimes bisexual women are attracted to women, but not romantically like men. I think that’s where I’m conflicted about dating bisexual women because normally you hear (well I hear) women who are bisexual would say stuff that at their end game they can only see themselves with men. All these assumptions are so bad, but iono how to talk to her about any of this!
1. Stop demonising lesbian community 2. This makes no sense bc bi women can still date other bi women so u can’t say that lesbians are the reason bi women end up with men 3. Most lesbians date bi women I’m sick of this whole channel being full of lesbphobia it makes me feel so hurt and angry as a lesbian
calling out biphobic lesbians isn't lesbophobia, you sound like those transphobic feminists who say terf is a slur. Chill out. One of this girls is a lesbian, and no one said lesbians as a whole are biphobic. If you aren't biphobic then this isn't directed at you.
Your sexuality and labels I think people presume before you get to know the person, if someone is in the a permanent relationship their label or sexual orientation should not get in the way as you said love is love. Thank you for this great video
