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This Book Made Me a Happier Person

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In this episode of Book Club, we’re talking about “The Courage to be Disliked” by Japanese authors Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga. In this book, an unhappy guy visits a wise old philosopher in the outskirts of a Japanese suburb and through these conversations, the philosopher ends up helping this young unhappy guy take control of his own life and happiness.
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Timestamps:
00:00 Intro
02:27 Stop thinking your past determines your present and your future
05:36 We create emotions to suit our present goals
08:58 All problems are interpersonal relationship problems
12:17 Happiness is a feeling of contributing something
14:40 Freedom is having the courage to be disliked
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Опубликовано:

15 авг 2024

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Комментарии : 752

@DoctorAzmain 2 года назад

I've been meaning to read this book for AGES! My friend recently said to me: "If you're able to please everyone, you're doing something wrong." So true - if you want to make a meaningful difference for yourself and for other people, you're gonna piss someone off along the way and have to deal with it!

@lestersalamba2840 2 года назад

If you’re looking for books relatively similar I suggest Happiness by Thich Hanh. So much wisdom and insight coming from a monk.

@tanyasharma2864 Год назад

I would like to comment on: "If you're able to please everyone, you're doing something wrong." The goal is to be yourself and understand what brings you happiness. This happiness might come from pleasing people around you, making them happy and avoiding conflict. It does not necessarily mean that "If you're able to please everyone, you're doing something wrong."

@JoviBootlegs90 Год назад

This is exactly why people are unhappy. They live every day lives trying to please the people surrounding them

@jogifromearth5118 Год назад

You don't "have to deal with it". That's the other persons task ;)

@user-xw5on1jh1b Месяц назад

Which book can u please tell me ?@@tanyasharma2864

@wordsofinsight5456 2 года назад

“You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” ― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

@thasaklopp6848 2 года назад

Thanks for your feedback. Send me a direct msg, I have something to share with you..........

@maxself9446 2 года назад

You can't go wrong with this beautiful quote

@Pollymichaelis 2 года назад

And the idea was from Epictetus

@demiadeoye Год назад

So true

@lestersalamba2840 2 года назад

Reading honestly frr is one of the best things I’ve done this year. I try to read at least a book a week by diving the pages into 5 days. Your overall focus, verbal recall, and even memory changes. I love it.

@Atlas92936 2 года назад

I could really use the verbal recall and memory benefits. Can you explain the changes you've seen?

@lestersalamba2840 2 года назад

@@Atlas92936 Essentially remembering what you read and hear. I find myself very focused and present within the moment during my literature sessions. The more you continue to read it’s like a muscle that strengthens within your brain that enables you to do that task more efficiently and you start to notice it seeps into other areas of your life and for me that was verbal recall and memory. I’d also like to add I’ve also noticed clear sentence structure and iterating my points much more intellectually then I previously was able to.

@colllo 2 года назад

When do you do the other stuff ... I mean ifeel like I literally have no time to read

@Lulu-oi9ue 2 года назад

I did the same thing couple years ago. I will be doing this again. I have been reading more fictional and want to read more non fictional. I have started going to library with my daughter and we enjoy spending time picking out our books.

@lamthaotran19 2 года назад

@@lestersalamba2840 I've been re-reading Deep Work by Cal Newport and this sounds exactly something I should do to improve my ability to focus. Thank you.

@howisjason 2 года назад

As simple and naive as it may sound, I became a lot happier ever since I decided to make happiness a priority. Here's one example, we're always told the same old things like eat healthy, get moderate physical activity, have a consistent sleep schedule, practice gratitude, etc. And I think on a surface level we all KNOW that those are beneficial to us but despite KNOWING, we often don't DO. And it's totally understandable too, because much of these things may be difficult or boring or simply unappealing... But it's almost a fact of life that IF we did those, our general quality of life will increase. Over the years I gradually started to prioritize things that made me healthy and happy, and life has treated me a lot better since.

@GINGERJOI 2 года назад

This was so good you are so right!! I'm in very beginning stages of reevaluating my life and I'm understanding this as well. You said it perfectly.

@maxself9446 2 года назад

That's so true! When we start taking care of the fundamentals, the dominos begin to create a better quality of life

@wge621 2 года назад

Yes. I did the same and am generally very happy! It also staves off depression

@joyberly4409 2 года назад

This.

@ands1894 2 года назад

I was about eight, visiting my maternal grandparents, when my wise granny said to me, “You can’t please everyone.” She was astute enough to pick up on my people pleasing ways. She passed away last year but her wise words are with me. The courage to accept that not everybody is going to like you comes with the understanding that you can’t please everybody.

@pmw3839 2 года назад

There was a song: “You can’t please everyone, so you might as well please yourself.”

@Omegaverse-s2m 5 месяцев назад

Be happy 😊

@khalilahd. 2 года назад

I’ve actually heard about this book! “The courage to be disliked” is definitely on top of my to read list so this book club episode is perfect 🙏🏽 being able to take wisdom from books to create a happier and healthier life is why I love your channel and keeps me in the pursuit of self growth

@lestersalamba2840 2 года назад

I suggest you read books made by monks. Happiness by Thich Naht Hanh is probably one of the best I’ve ever picked up.

@DrPatrickKingsep 2 года назад

@@lestersalamba2840 Hi again, Patrick from Mind Life Flow here...yes, Thich Naht Hanh has some wonderful books and insights in general. I agree! This book is also very good - different but worthwhile.

@brittthebeat6175 2 года назад

You are all over lol if this is an advertising tactic for your channel it's working cause I ended up watching your video, well played lol

@Tahani2006 2 года назад

@@brittthebeat6175 lmao fr

@shivifieldnotes 2 года назад

@@lestersalamba2840 Yes and also the book why i make myself unhappy by Tsem Tulku Rinpoche. Its my fav :)

@pranjal4507 2 года назад

This was not just a review but a video on how to actually read books. Great work Ali😊 Can't imagine a book review being so good ❤❤this level of authenticity and connection with your audience is really awe-inspiring

@aliabdaal 2 года назад

Thanks so much! 😊

@sarhan_ 2 года назад

@@aliabdaal you’re welcome!

@shahadshahd8549 2 года назад

@@aliabdaal Can you please make a video about guidlines for writing research and some suggestion for med students

@shahadshahd8549 2 года назад

@@aliabdaal Can you please make a video about guidlines for writing research and some suggestion for med students

@francis_n 2 года назад

6:25 - "Constructing the emotion of anger and using it for a justification for your action you chose to do anyway". Will Smith popped into my mind immediately after initially laughing along at the joke, then looking at his wife and making a choice to act and construct the anger afterwards

@Lulu-oi9ue 2 года назад

Yes I agree. It wasn’t a trauma response that’s instant as soon as the comment was made. There was a time period where he could’ve turned the other cheek.

@Nabamyopu 2 года назад

"What people think is not our task " best line ☺

@thasaklopp6848 2 года назад

Thanks for your feedback. Send me a direct msg, I have something to share with you..........

@lameeya21 Год назад

for real

@JoviBootlegs90 Год назад

Actually my friend said similar thing long before 'it's not our problem'. We have to differentiate which problems are ours and which are not

@lestersalamba2840 2 года назад

Benefits of reading according to science lol 1. Better vocabulary 2. Better communication skills 3. Stress relief 4. Depression relief 5. Health benefits 6. Slows age related cognitive decline 7. Makes it easier to empathize 8. Improves imagination. Please can I get at least 10 likes

@exploretheadventure9444 Год назад

10 likes and one comment

@fabio.1 8 месяцев назад

Here or to go?

@wiandryadiwasistio2062 18 дней назад

how about a dislike, young man? 👎👎👎

@SYPCWAK 2 года назад

I totally agree with having the choice to be angry when coffee is spilled on you. If the person spilling the coffee is clearly someone strong enough to break you like a twig, you are most likely going to not get angry (for self-preservation’s sake) and tell the spiller to not worry about it. Or maybe the spiller is an overly beautiful woman and the spilling “victim” is a single male looking for a girlfriend. The victim will also most likely choose to not get angry and display how calm and collected he is (displaying he is a suitable mate) to the beautiful woman. Thanks for the book review and video.

@amyyy0790 Год назад

My takeaways: - focus on my tasks, and let others focus on theirs. Other people's opinions are theirs, not mine to worry about. This approach will get rid of many of our life (relationship) problems. - our interpretation of events in our lives make them good or bad, helpful or harmful. We can choose. - our emotions don't justify our response to stimuli. Emotions don't dictate our actions, we always get to choose our own actions. - learn to be okay being disliked. It's not our responsibility/task to please everyone. That's up to them.

@NitinKumar-ml5tx 2 года назад

I love the way he appears so genuine and truthful in his speech, I wish that I could also pratice and work on my communication skills to be that transparent through my thoughts to speech.

@mehditate 2 года назад

3 Tips to Better Self Awareness: A thought diary is a foundational place to begin increasing self-awareness. Keep track of thoughts that pop up in the form of an automatic reaction. Track your level of emotion to the stimulus (Your reactions - these can be mental or physical) Amazing video ALI!

@BeingIntegrated 2 года назад

OK just a point about trauma, that yes the meaning we make out of it is very significant, but also it's a real thing around the function of our nervous system, meaning you can actually not remember the trauma (lot's of people blockout memories of childhood trauma) but still suffer the symptoms of trauma. I guess the most accurate way to say it is there are many dimensions of trauma, and our cognitive processing of the experience is important and can be worked with, but our nervous system also needs to be addressed. I don't think many people understood that until the last few decades, where Somatic Psychology has gained a lot of recognition as an important discipline.

@SB-fh3sv 2 года назад

I couldn’t agree more. I was dealing with continued trauma in my marriage and although I didn’t dwell on those events and i stay relatively happy eventually i realized that my body felt constantly tired. I thought i might have an autoimmune disease after a year I realized that it was from my trauma. It was like my body had been rewired and i had to work on internal healing. It took work and i realized that even though i was strong everyone had limits

@i-Scorrpion 4 месяца назад

@@SB-fh3svcan you expand a little on 'internal healing'?

@_aiborie 2 года назад

So that's why I feel happy helping people. That was validating. I was worried I was being a people pleaser. Probably a balance between the two. Thank you for making this book review Ali! 📚

@maxself9446 2 года назад

I believe it's in our DNA to help others because we're social animals. I, too, feel thrilled to help people!

@apcollections Год назад

Sure, we all do. But the book actually says, "don't look for validation" :) Honestly, it's not just helping others and being happy; there is much more to it. "Contribution to others" has been explained superbly in the book. For eg., how do newborns contribute?

@_aiborie Год назад

@@apcollections I've read the book. Be pedantic elsewhere, don't care.

@sagarapatel249 2 года назад

I decided to read this amazing book, after you and Taimoor mentioned it on one of your Q&A videos. It is quite good. It goes deep in question and its answers as to why we can't find happiness and then provides good solution. Boy portraits our complications well and Philosophers gives proper answer and advice. It really well written book.

@noorulainnaseem6298 2 года назад

I love this review, a bit tired of the trauma and therapeutic culture. In my life I have realized that adding value to something and being acknowledged gives true meaning and happiness. Although my job is pretty boring from the outside (lecturer at University) but I love being with young people and the whole environment of academia. I am very happy I quit accounts though it was very lucrative and did switch to social sciences. Thanks ali for sharing this book .

@imsoyam 2 года назад

I read this book about an year ago and was quite fascinated with theories that look extremely contrasting to our beliefs and have also recommended it to a lot of people... It sure was a great book✌

@maxself9446 2 года назад

What's your biggest takeaway from the book?

@popcornproductions9579 2 года назад

Honestly Ali, watching your book reviews changed my perspective on book reading and on life. You make it so appealing and interesting. As someone who was never interested in books I’ve become INVESTED in becoming a better person. Watching you has inspired me to start my own book review series, so thank you and keep going 💪🏽💯

@otakumultifandom 2 года назад

Ah yes! He's so well spoken🥲💖

@MrGreenmonkeyman 2 года назад

The Kindle version of this book is currently 99p in the UK if you want to pick it up cheap, be quick!

@Fromchrist2060 6 месяцев назад

I like the part of separation of tasks I was really worried about how people think about me which is "their" task Thank you Ali

@alexislapuz687 4 месяца назад

7:01 Stimulus + Feeling can be seen as Choices => To Change the Sory about our Ourselves/Environment => Empowerment to Change out Response/Feelings -Anger or Calm? -Fear or Courage? -Misery or Joy?

@as8212 2 года назад

Videos are fantastic, man. One of the video you mentioned about an approach to handle tasks where the approach should be "This is gonna to be fun" its really works Ali. No where I see those quotes mentioned in any of the 1000+ videos I watched on RU-vid. ONE RECCOMENDATION: FEEL LIKE YOU ARE SPEAKING SO FACT. PLEASE DECREASE THE SPEED OF YOUR VOCAL. Keep Going

@thasaklopp6848 2 года назад

🔝🔝🔝🔝 Thanks for your feedback. Send me a direct msg, I have something to share with you.........

@lefajoseph3752 2 года назад

Respect for your consistency in posting and all the work that comes with it.

@lovergirlmp3 2 года назад

I have a Masters in psychology and still didn't hear much about Adler until I read this book... It's one of my favorite books & the concept of tasks and separating my tasks from everyone else's immensely improved my outlook on life and my mental health.

@Kidkromechan 2 года назад

There is a part 2 of this book too and I actually try to follow all the teachings. It makes so much sense to me. Like how we are all connected, and be okay with being normal, and we actually feel the feelings that benefit us so we have control of what we choose to feel. So much good wisdom in there.

@chivonnecampbell 2 года назад

As a parent you nailed it. I want to add that it makes your highs higher and your lows lower. So while daily you can't enjoy your hobbies and alone time as you would when you are single or without kids, when you see them hit a home run and the smile on their face....indescribable how happy you are

@deepanshichopra5973 2 года назад

Read this book recently. It's such a gem. Squeezes the true purpose of life in a few words. Highly recommend!

@jonny-mp3 7 месяцев назад

I think my biggest take away from the book was the idea of Horizontal relationships. This helped me idolising people and gave me the freedom to be myself because we are equal. The seperation of tasks then gave me the courage to be myself.

@WzrdArmon 7 месяцев назад

Yes yes yes, I’m at the beginning of the horizontal relationships part and it’s just hitting home. You don’t even realize how much you’ve been participating in vertical relationships your whole life

@LexesOHara 2 года назад

I'm not sure how I feel about the author saying trauma is not "real," but I'm interested in reading this book! I definitely think the majority of us do have the choice to create a new path and different story at ANY time. Which is incredibly motivating and powerful.

@bycryptoface5660 2 года назад

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@bycryptoface5660 2 года назад

I got something profitable for you

@HerOnlineBrand 2 года назад

That’s exactly what the youth said. You have to read it to get it.

@ThreeTwentyTech 2 года назад

Your videos make me happy.

@milanvuki 2 года назад

One of the most eye opening books I’ve ever read, so glad you did a video on it to show it to a larger audience

@omarafunitv 2 года назад

I personally found that my courage to be disliked has grown over many years of self development. I am now perfectly ok with being disliked knowing that I do my best to live my life being authentic, kind, and brave, as well as accepting that I could never be liked by everyone - which is a liberating thought. Great video as always.

@mcmaschio 2 года назад

One habbit i regret loosing is reading books😭 … guys if you read books never stop … its tough to go back 💯 Thanks Ali for cliff noting these awesome books 🔥

@delight3397 2 года назад

This video is one the best video till now, you were working from ur Heart. I m surely coming to London to meet you someday! Hope

@bycryptoface5660 2 года назад

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@bycryptoface5660 2 года назад

I got something profitable for you

@sirijanthakur 2 года назад

I like how he’s a doctor from cambridge but doesnt flex it all the time in his intros, “Hi my name is ali” thats all, really humblep

@ifbut_then 2 года назад

Happiness cannot be attained, it's a journey.. I think we should eradicate the word hapiness and just live as it comes. Because accepting the fact that we are living in an uncertain world, we can only control things which are inside our realm (or can stretch a bit.). We cannot afford to put down ourselves in any situation because we have the world ahead of us to face them. We need to stay strong and pull ourselves and keep moving.

@warriorwomen4821 2 года назад

My beautiful Mum is in hospital after urgent heart surgery- she has been a psychoanalyst her whole working life. This resonates beautifully with her work and life philosophy….I loved studying Adler’s psychology back in the day. Thanks for the share😊

@thasaklopp6848 2 года назад

🔝🔝🔝🔝 Thanks for your feedback. Send me a direct msg, I have something to share with you.........

@kevjapan 2 года назад

Your point at 5:02 seems up my feelings about self-help books completely! Take the points that work for me and ignore the ones that don't. No need to buy in to everything the author is promoting. Love your book reviews!

@thasaklopp6848 2 года назад

🔝🔝🔝🔝 Thanks for your feedback. Send me a direct msg, I have something to share with you.........

@AlejandraXio 2 года назад

I have been chronically I’ll since 16 and let me tell you the physical pain is nothing compared to the emotional and mental pain of how my interpersonal relationships have caused me from being physical I’ll. Having a disability isn’t hard but living in a world not made for us is. So I do believe all of our problems are about the quality of our interpersonal relationships.

@SeductionSaga 2 года назад

@lalazysusan I can feel it

@johnnyede 2 года назад

Dude, I started reading profusely a few years ago. I don’t know why (and can’t believe that) I stopped because I used to devour book especially stem book and fictional “wisdom-parting” story books. Jumping back into the reading has been awesome. The other day I found myself spending 3 hrs looking all over for good so I’ll definitely take this into the recommendations!

@wastsapme...510 2 года назад

Hit me up 👆....

@fldkst 2 года назад

yes give it a go!

@OriAlfassi 2 года назад

YESS LOVING ALL THE BOOK VIDEOS LATELY! 😍😍

@NiyanshuRaikwar 2 года назад

Just finished this Book A minute ago ❤️ A Must Read Book

@Bostonaholic 2 года назад

I love these book club videos. Thank you for making them.

@KylieA. 2 года назад

Just finished this book, truly a worthy read! I am now interested in learning about Adler’s teachings.

@atillahsani5063 2 года назад

"don't do someone else task". as someone who always put others before myself, this video really help me understand myself better.

@ronstan3064 4 месяца назад

Great video!!!! You are very good at explaining things…

@HarrryTries 2 года назад

He made me buy that book & read.

@p797ooja 2 года назад

This book made me depressed. I wouldn’t recommend it and would ask everyone to proceed with caution or to take it with a pinch of salt. As someone who takes advice from books very seriously, this book felt like someone constantly yelling at me, totally disregarding any trauma I went through and telling me it’s all my fault . Perhaps my interpretation is wrong, but I’ve come across some Posts online from people having a similar experience with this book. Like I said, If you have experienced deeper trauma, please proceed with caution.

@thasaklopp6848 2 года назад

Thanks for your feedback. Send me a direct msg, I have something to share with you...

@OlavJ 2 месяца назад

My mind was blown while reading this. Incredible book.

@DMSlater 2 года назад

I don't think the statement "Trauma does not exist," is anymore controversial to acknowledge that our past is not deterministic of our future. Those that struggle with or deny this concept are likely never going to be able to progress. Due to life events I was raised by my grandfather who used to say, "You always have a choice, even if that choice is just how you feel about it." I wasn't aware of the book, glad this popped up from the algorithm. Thanks.

@SamanthaJoe 2 года назад

I really enjoyed reading this book and hearing your thoughts on it!! I've been meaning to re-read it and highlight some of my favorite takeaways. :)

@a.g.1419 2 года назад

When I saw the book I right away knew I had to write a comment because of how much the book changed my life and opinions. One of the best book I have ever read.

@BusinessTipsWithYulianna 2 года назад

Aw, looking forward to reading it! 📚 I think it is so important to have the freedom of disliking someone and just stop communicating with that person.

@kvncnls 2 года назад

That idea of 'trauma doesn't exist' is true imo. You could have two siblings, both having a terrible upbringing and one might end up an alcoholic and the other a successful entrepreneur. The only difference in the way they grew up is how they used those bad experience to justify their actions in the future.

@adithy1000 2 года назад

That is an amazing book I have read during 2022..the more I read it, the more I realised or started to understand myself in a rather simple yet interesting way... it's great for those who struggle to know or understand themselves, especially who think a lot about themselves...the part where "all problems are interpersonal problems" helped me understand relationships as a very important thing as a human being.

@mad-vu6cg 2 года назад

love the last point so much❤️

@sakinakheriwala8736 2 года назад

My fav book!♥️ Love the conversational style between the philosopher and youth. So glad you did a review on this one!

@thasaklopp6848 2 года назад

Thanks for your feedback. Send me a direct msg, I have something to share with you...

@bannnnny 2 года назад

You would enjoy the sequel to this book, Ali; entitled The Courage to be Happy. Moreover, Adlerian Psychology as presented here is more convergent with philosophy - thence it reads like the writings of the stoics. As a psych student, Myself, I can say with certainty that *trauma does exist* and that *pain and suffering is very real* but from the standpoint of stoicism whereby we base our experience off of the idea that our perception is our reality: this book nails it. A couple of coincidences I might add; it is written by a Japanese author, a society mostly disinterested in the biopsychosocial events from which we all endure; it is also written in dialogue between the so-called philosopher and the student: exactly as Plato and Aristotle would write. It seems to allow a wider range for analogy and rhetoric through literal storytelling by conversation. Anyway, glad you got through it. Now, go and read ‘The Courage to be Happy’ next!

@thasaklopp6848 2 года назад

Thanks for your feedback. Send me a direct msg, I have something to share with you..........

@Janice_Long 2 года назад

I am halfway through reading this book and I am so glad you talk about it! One of my favourite books thus far :)

@stevesimmons6500 2 года назад

Your best vid in years Ali , (been watching for 4-5 years )you could easily have spent an hour on this topic .wonderfully thought provoking , engaging and stimulating bravo .i will rewatch this again its that good .

@wastsapme...510 2 года назад

Hit me up 👆....

@skywriter9359 2 года назад

My task: express my appreciation of your review. I liked this book a lot for new ideas to me. Thanks Ali. You are always interesting and so genuine.

@saadisara4078 2 года назад

This is exactly what I need at the moment 😃.... Thanks Ali 💖

@meetmehta2982 2 года назад

Thanks for the great content and ‘quality’ videos! Love it, keep it going! Suggestion: If you can make podcasts for such videos it’ll be a cherry on top!

@thasaklopp6848 2 года назад

Thanks for your feedback. Send me a direct msg, I have something to share with you..........

@swayam7321 2 года назад

I love ❤ the theory of hedonic adaptation which you've explained in the video of motivation, stress management with Paul and Katherine.

@kuroinekoworld 2 года назад

That discourse around trauma reminded me of a book I read years ago, the famous "Man's search for meaning". As I wrote, I read it years ago, but if I remember well the idea was that trauma can "faced" by find some purpose in life.

@walk_london 2 года назад

If you have something to say to the world, it is inevitable that someone out there will not like what you are saying and will make it very clear to you . As long as you know that you can't please all the people and that your message is more important than those who will try to sabotage you , that is all that matters.

@manaal_arts 2 года назад

love everything u do. super helpful. but the part u talk about kids and how u find it hard they are a joy is so funny with the ''apparently" and the "kind off" and the hand gestures super funny. XD P.S again love what you do. gives me courage to believe in myself and work on my goals

@princesslacson6291 2 года назад

I love the separate task thing. It helped me with my break up. We have different struggles no matter how much we try to do it together, sometimes it's better if we do it alone. ♥️

@renavwissen7817 2 года назад

I remember that you weren't that hyped about the book when you first mentioned it in one of your videos. Glad you like it so much now ☺️

@Sazad101 2 года назад

Thanks for the recommendation🥂

@Ness-nq2mo 2 года назад

This is my first time watching a video from you and I’m hooked. The way you talk, explain concepts, it’s such a fresh perspective. Subscribed!

@matheusfelipe7318 2 года назад

After 10 minutes of Ali Abaal's video I feel like I've watched a whole movie . He talks super fast and , for a english learner like me , i'ts kind of a never ending video . It has a lot of information .

@craigmerkey8518 2 года назад

Ahh great insight... also as a native English speaker I would like to encourage you to slow down your speaking rate. I agree, validation seeking is a loose loose situation!

@edwardxiao88 2 года назад

Ali you've inspired me to start reading for this new year because of all the possible ways you could improve in life. It's not always consistent as I don't always have time but I try to find a little reading time each week. Thank you!!

@mingloo4320 2 года назад

While high views and likes count surely will make a content creator feels happy and accomplished, I want to let you know that as a viewer, your videos have always benefit me. I listen to your videos almost everyday and really appreciate how you share with us your thought process. I will read this book simply because of the way you presented it and shared the interesting points in it. Keep doing what you doing, Ali. You are doing good for millions of people.

@dabi_ 2 года назад

My favorite conversation with a clinical psychologist about this book: “What do you think of Adlerian psychology?” “It’s hard for patients to swallow.” It said a lot. Also dude, the new pacing/presentation of your video is really good. Liking the new style. :)

@medha2548 2 года назад

These reviews honestly change my way of reading and interpreting self help books.

@davs.ketchup 2 года назад

Love this book. Also, I am glad you found a good use for that book that you used as a ruler. It probably functions better when used that way.

@kyopo_diaries 2 года назад

Loving the line ruling using the 50 shades of grey book 😂😂

@KeithRickards 2 года назад

I’m in the middle of this one atm… in two minds but I am enjoying both sides of the view points.

@thasaklopp6848 2 года назад

🔝🔝🔝🔝 Thanks for your feedback. Send me a direct msg, I have something to share with you.

@Yingggxd 2 года назад

Thanks for your sharing. Currently I had someone that shouted at me and yes it was his choice to choose how he channels the anger into the action to shout. He was trying to normalize or justify the action he did to me! It was so rude and I didn't really want to talk about it to him anymore as he seems not even realizing he shouted at me and try to blame me because of his anger! So ridiculous. But now I understand I won't think about it as it's not my task to think about it now.

@parneet582 2 года назад

I have listened to this book and this book is amazing it really changed my prospective on many things .... a great book .

@thasaklopp6848 2 года назад

🔝🔝🔝🔝 Thanks for your feedback. Send me a direct msg, I have something to share with you.

@dmtdreamz7706 2 года назад

Here is the cheat code. If i can literally just sit around basking in my own happiness and love and self-satisfaction then that short-circuits all of life. That's the genius of this method. That's its power. You think this is a bug. This is not a bug. This is a feature. This is exactly what you want. You want to short circuit that because you see then it frees you up.

@mazyartahavori2643 2 года назад

Yeah emotions dont control us but we don't create them neither Controling emotions is an everlasting absurd battle .... I'd rather step aside and focus on my acts which I can control ...

@wastsapme...510 2 года назад

....

@yanafridabinaev 2 месяца назад

It's a great book! Deep inside I hoped for more or something I haven't read before but overall awesome read.

@hiiiroobee 2 года назад

Thank you for sharing this! So well articulated and the texts and graphics are all so captivating

@romeadeviana5226 2 года назад

thank you for the wonderful lesson💖

@Naumec 2 года назад

Ali, thanks for the video! The idea to separate tasks is brilliant, I have been thinking something similar, but used to put it somehow different and I think this description is absolutely genius!

@RyanEmmett 6 месяцев назад

Thanks for this summary. You saved me from wasting my time reading it.

@luminyam6145 2 года назад

This is a great video, thank you. I am going to put that book on my list, it sounds really great. One of the best things about getting older is that worry about being disliked subsides. It is really helpful because you cannot always be liked especially at work and especially if you are in charge.

@vishalnath5567 2 года назад

I’m currently read this book and I must say this book is the only thing you need to be happy. Highly recommend this book to everyone. Thanks Ali for making this video.

@alexisidro 2 года назад

I like Alfred Adler. His book Understanding Human Nature is extremely insightful and helpful to understand ourselves, families, and the world a bit more! Leading us to better relationships

@MarcoBuxCoach 10 месяцев назад

One of the most important books ever

@Tolkien1324 2 года назад

Every time I need inspirations, Ali’s book club video is uploaded. 👍🤝

@DunyaBaradari 2 года назад

Unfair Ali, you took my future RU-vid topic from me -_- this is one of my favourite books

@menace2819 2 года назад

This book’s anyone can be happy doesn’t imply to anyone but those with most of their needs already met. Plus the whole thing about trauma is not real felt the same as when some people tell other people with depression to snap out of it cause it’s all in their head 😬 this isn’t really surprising since this book is heavily outdated and we’ve come a long way with better neurological evidence to support more valid psychological theories

@JustLIkerapunzel 2 года назад

I think the book is not flat out wrong with what it is trying to teach but fails to deliver the HOW. It tries to claim that trauma is not something that has to determine our present and future, because we can change how we think of past events and therefore learn to not be triggered anymore. The part where it is wromg is we can not conciously "chose" to feel differently. That's just bullshit. But the technique to overcome traumas would be to do what's called "shadow work". Basically you start to first for example identify a trigger, then work through why it does trigger you by really thinking back to when a similar situation happened, how it made xou feel and starting the process of accepting your own emotions your younger self used to have instead of judging / surpressing them and showing compassion to yourself and lastly "integrate" it into your life. Imagining how things could have ended positively back then helps to imagine that now when something "similar" happens you no longer worry wnd imagine the bad thing that once happened to you will happen again. It's a very summed up version but that's basically what I think the author is trying to say but miserably fails to present - at leas taccording to this video

@routinetherapy35 2 года назад

To the person who is reading this comment, its okay, its alright to feel lonely sometimes, if you are going through tough times, keep pushing through, but never give up, i wish you great success in health, love and happiness!