Absolutely correct. People “don’t know” who they are after leaving a transactionship w a narc. I experienced this, and it was a very scary, lonely place to be. A lot of praying to God and being good to myself helped me heal. I shed many toxic friends/family besides the narc. I feel blessed to be where I am today. I’m razor sharp, resilient with no bitterness. I hate to say this, but I’m glad I experienced it. I know who I am now instead of bumbling through life and giving everyone the benefit of the doubt.
I feel you. When you finally realize there is no hope after the ignoring, silent treatments, being blocked because because the slightest comment causes a narcissistic injury, you realize they overplay their hand and the only thing left to do is block them back, slam that door and walk away.
@@jonathanbaum6867 Exactly and to To remember how devastated I was when I found out. She was cheating on me when her friend told me and she was there and then I looked at her and she was smiling at me. As I was crying my eyes out, realizing that my family was finished. And I was gonna have to live away from my children. That was the person that was her.
@GimDandy6696 Yes they certainly think and live like that. Too bad more and more people are becoming educated about narcissist and the different types of narcissists and consequences of being in a relationship with a narcissist. The pendulum swings both ways.
Loneliness lasts an hour or two... ABUSE Lasts a LIFETIME... Get out, NOW !!! But have a PLAN to leave SECRETLY, QUIETLY... tell NO ONE and NEVER, EVER look back, you can do it !!!
That feeling of being watched or feeling their icky energy every now and then due to the trauma bond even after going no contact for some time is extremely accurate.
Studying and understanding the narcissist is similar to obtaining the knowledge of good and evil... It can either kill you or you can be saved with Christ consciousness.
Joe's channel is like a safe place of validation for the in- visibles wondering how our friends disappeared friends who the vampires didn't know before us
Very well said! When we are finally able to snap out of rumination, we can let go and open up our world. Good nutrition, exercise and simply practising being at ease. When you can settle your mind and make priorities, you are in a good place.
6 месяцев назад
I havent been able to do that stuff or even been willing to do it. im lost in addiction. everyday for years now. i dont see myself stopping either.
Do you want to break the addictions? That;s the crucial first step. Each to their own but a nihilistic mindset isn't going to help. I've known plenty of pain in the past. Dissociation was required but you can bounce back, believe me. I don't want to say what I've done today but let's just say it has really helped me and it can help you as well. You can feel fresh and hopeful if you wish. Be strong!
After three months of having discarded my covert narcissist ex, I am not at that place anymore. This is positive and you will get there. The non contact rule was a must, deleted most of her social media accounts but never blocked her as I didn't want her to think I had to do so to get over her. I thought she would like that very much and get some supplies out of it, so I refused to block her. Good luck everybody, and keep on trucking. Be strong
Who am I? Who was I before this experience? These questions are what prompted my journey in part to study psychology. I had to know if it was really me, or if it was all “normal” responses to abnormal situations to my ex narcissist and all of the toxic family dynamics I had experienced as a child. I battled the question of why me for the majority of my life. I battled it wholly on my own. Journaling became a lifeline in many ways. Breaking free of my exnarc actually helped to spurn my escape from my toxic family. I don’t even really confide in my best friend from high school anymore either (but that’s a whole other topic). It helped tremendously not to be constantly surrounded and separated by distance from the toxicity. Being alone doesn’t frighten me. I spent so many years crying out for help to no avail. I had to be my own best friend. So I had to come to terms with not being able to control how others saw me, what they said or did. I have no control over what others do, but I can control my response. If there are lingering effects it’s because of trust. It’s about observing and listening before drawing conclusions about allowing others too close. I am still discovering what it is that I enjoy and who I am now.
I wish I could say that the healing journey was a straight trajectory. If you have ever seen the meme of your plan for your life vs. Gods plan for your life, healing is a bit like God’s plan for your life. It’s all over the place. We all stumble and fall. We all make what we feel is progress only to feel like we have just stumbled into the deepest darkest pit. Don’t forget the progress no matter how tiny it may seem. Give yourself a break and realize that set backs will come. That is normal. Give yourself some grace. What is one thing that you have always enjoyed but stopped doing or were criticized for and do it for you. No one else but you, because you simply enjoyed it. If you start hearing a critical voice in your head while doing something you love keep going. Know that you are more than someone else’s opinion. Tell that critical voice to go kick rocks so to speak. It does get easier but you have got to give yourself permission. Sometimes an attitude of defiance is a good thing.
I wanted to add that your response earlier deeply concerns me and if I could hug you I would. It’s incredibly difficult to feel like you’re all alone while going through this. I know that feeling of desperation well. The feeling of every hope and dream being dashed. Love is not supposed to be this way. Mentally we tend to accept the reality much quicker than emotionally. The emotional side can feel like a monsoon type of storm. Waves of guilt, anger and stress. It can feel like an avalanche where every part of your life feels like sand through your fingers. You can’t change them; the guilt and shame are not yours to carry.
My ex narcissist asked could we still be friends after the breakup HELL NO! all she was trying to do was stop me from moving on to a healthy relationship she wanted to keep popping up at my house and be nosy and see if I was up for the task of chasing and begging but who chases the garbage truck and try to get there trash back!
Thankfully never got caught up in this demonic behavior......I just keep educating myself to help others.....my soul is bright...intact...and not corrupted....😅
Peace be with you. That's all you need right now. Don't fret about improvement etc. Seek peace. And then from peace the right words and actions emanate.
@@penibeni1085 I asked, bc I am now Journaling. My brain feels scrambled at times and writing helps straightens out my thoughts process. Plus, taking every thought captive to the obedience of christ, since the narc attacked the mind, will, emotions and soul. I am praying for your healing and break thru.
Thank you Joe. Great video perfect timing. Today is an important day. I am slamming the door shut on the toxic pool of narc funk and moving forward to the bright light and future and energy God has for me. You made it clear the narc wants to destroy you and render you immobile or dead. That creep is not going to have that satisfaction or any part of me ever again. No longer does he have hold on me in his love fraud demented scheme. I am literally Springing forth anew, invigorated, energized and free.
8 March 2023 I discarded. Spent almost 12 months in that dark hole. Next 12 months is me getting back out there. Not for a new relationship. Not ready for that yet but for me to start living my life again because it really has been on pause. I needed that pause in my life to ‘reset’ myself. And that’s what I’ve been doing but I have to take this next step in order to move on and move forward. The new me! It’s scary but exciting too. Thanks Joe for another great video.
My husband I threw out a week before Christmas, it was the final straw for me. Giving rides to females is a clear boundary set in place for years bc of his own actions. He has changed his number though I was in no contact but our child wanted to talk to him so that’s how we found out. He has emailed me twice saying he wants a divorce and he wants to send money to the kids but only if I agreed for 300/month. I’d get close to 800 on child support. I responded the first time and told him I’m not agreeing, that I will get more through court. Next email was a few weeks later saying, please work with me im struggling just to survive on my own- I ignored it. Never asked if the kids were ok or if they needed anything. I’m wondering if he’s just baiting me into some kind of communication idk. Nevertheless I’m not responding. He hasn’t offered any remorse or sorry for everything that went down. He’s so evil man.
Not gonna lie, been hardest 6 months of my life. Now in month 7 of no contact & am finally starting to feel free. He’s still on my mind every day but more fleeting thoughts than a constant. I walk a lot, nature & fresh air listening to uplifting music is a god send. I have a very good group of genuine friends. And Joe on here has been a massive part of my healing journey. I listened to his videos over & over daily for weeks which has reinforced what I know to be true. I’ve dug deep & worked on my own issues of needing validation from others. Meditation & affirmations help massively with this. My heart goes out to you. I get it. Just focus on one day at a time. You will get through this. Keep strong. Know your worth. You are not alone. ❤
6 месяцев назад
@user-te3tu6qh6l That's great news. Thank you for for providing the details that gives us hints of things. We can do that. I can do I mean affirmations meditation. I'm going to try all of them. I have a big family farm along a river I drive around in my truck. im thetr now. its No man's land Gods Country! I Would love to bring people here share in this delight. 49 square acresof trails and race tracks and shooting range and fishing trails. Campsites, and there's a beach dug into the river.. Myself and my brother build all this for my aunt and uncle who live out out-of-state. They let us watch over it and do all this stuff. And summertime, it's really the place to be, but not everybody comes here. You know, it's a private property type stuff, but it's where I go. It's my sanctuary. God bless you and II have other demons that I'm fighting. This is not an easy time period we're living in, and this is it's very trying. We all have our battles and I have mine. I hope you win yours and if I can help you win I will all of our survivor friends. We should really start getting together because we share something very special. That just is very, very uniqueand I forget who it was telling me. But as we get through this, we're going to become a very strong. Group of people each individually definitely. Finally, I'm not there yet but. Ton I do see uh things progressing with me like it. All this new information that I'm learning about narcissism, and these things have been done to all of us. Buy this type of people. It's very disturbing but I want to do more. I want to do more like I'm here by myself and this isn't good. I wish people were here with me. You could be driving around in a Jeep behind me or just fall me around or go and wherever. Spend an afternoon here get away you know that's what I do anyway. My name is ray and appreciate your time and attention and sharon the information
6 месяцев назад
@@Sarah_sunshine14 I'm Doing the talk to text feature in my truck. It's kind of hard to get it right trying to get something done on this farm while why i'm talking to you. .
Needed this, thank you. I experience this. Just over 1 year no contact & definitely healing & achieved some wonderful goals but the “cross waves” and inner setbacks caused by them are very real.
Exactly on point 🥵🙏😭yes who knows how long by myself, I don’t try to get anyone to help or understand it just makes it worse. Just now learning my needs, and how I ran in circles for others and their needs. They are so evil, good Lord help us all.
Man .... I'm going through this... Before the start of the year my ex narcissist came back and tried to get back with me but gave me A bit too much information aka over played her cards .. which only confirmed my suspicions of her being the person she truly is aka a 304 This brought up past traumas I didn't even realize I had ..
Went through the cycle 4 times, and each time it was a more brutal letdown. Get away, especially in the realm of thoughts and imagination. The physical distance is the easy bit.
6 месяцев назад
agree strongly. My ex narcissist ex wife just showed up out of the blue a couple times. I cringed. she's Clearly getting worse. I was closed off to her. But when she left and was gone that's when i felt that pain again fresh and that battle inside me began again.
What’s a 304? Yeah these soul ties are no joke. Like I can feel this person IN THE ROOM sometimes and I just want to shake it off… like, get the hell out of here you perv!
Sir you deliver your message with kindness and calmness. Your topics are right on point. They touch on topics that aren't spoken out loud but are in your mind. Thank you Sir....
My ex narc sent a message last night asking to please give us another chance and that he is miserable without me. I start to feel sorry for him but I’m gonna stay strong and keep thinking abt how he did me, so that I down give in to him. These videos have brought me too far to break now! Thank you! 🙏💪🩵
Jo, I really appreciate your videos and your message. You have really helped me a lot. It’s a long process different than any other relationship or recovery that I can remember in my life. So hard to know what’s real and what’s not with the narcissist. Thanks again for what you do
Good morning ! 🌞 Lets have a cup of joe ☕☕with Joe and listen to his wisdom ! This is pretty serious video , almost like therapy session and i think it is very helpful for those who need it. Narcs are unhappy, pitiful creatures, it's sad for sure, but they wont derail us to take same path , NOPE ! , they maybe derailed us for while , but we will be on right tracks again....and much stronger then before ! Thank you Joe ! great video ! 🤗❤
Good ppl want you happy. Miserable ppl want you miserable. They also have extensive brain damage. Their amygdala, frontal cortex and anterior insular cortex are all damaged in narcissists. Scientists have soon CT scans and MRI's on the brains of narcissists, and the damage can be seen. I talked about that in this video: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-1N-UHXfJK2o.html Thanks Joe.
