This is how you DON'T play Shadow Of The Colossus 

You know, this is probably the best TIHYDP, and I say that having seen a LOT of them. The way that it was done combined with the fact that DSP being disrespectful to each and everything in this game is a beautiful meta commentary on the destructive narrative. It's deeply satisfying to see exactly the kind of person this game rallies against playing it, destroying it with irreverent and disrespectful 'commentary', tearing it down in the same way as you tear down each and every beautiful colossus. You've done such a great job highlighting this, and it deserves respect.

"Where is the weak point!? I don't see a weak point!" It's holding the controller.

"It's fun, but of course it's dif- it's annoying" My God, he really CAN'T admit a game is difficult!

PLEASE NO DONT TELL ME DSP PLAYED THIS GAME NOOOOOOOO NONONO FUCK NO My favorite game... its been.... violated...

"There's a chat with...about over 450 people..."Not these days...

Him laughing at Agro's death is disgusting. But that's okay. DSP always pays for his stupid callousness and getting fisted by Malus' energy bolts is the proper punishment. He doesn't take cover. Wow.

"There's a bridge right here? how do I use it?" it's a fucking bridge DSP, how the fuck do you not know how to use it?!?

He died to the first fucking colossus

I've never seen the first Colossi game over screen till now...

How does one suck so bad at video games and still claim they are the best?

Where do i bloody begin... This is one of the best Sony exclusives and still is able to make a fuckfest of it. SotC is about patience and solving the Colossi puzzles, charging jumps and stabs, and looking for lizards and fruits for improve stats. DSP not only used chat for do his work (When he said right at the start will use help if is truly stuck), but also mashed buttons instead of letting the climbing cauge charge, didn't realize that the physics is a big factor for everything as he was whinning and mashing, and obviusly calling the fights tedious and annoying because he has the patience of a sugar rushed hummingbird with ADD. If you wanna rush the Colossi do it on a second run and/or play the time attack challenges post-game. As always doesn't learn anything. Right at the beginning the game tells you how controls work, yet is able to mash the Agro calling during a fight or mess up the sword navigation, and still accuse the game of it. The fight with Celosia (Fire scared 11th colossus) is absolutely disgusting because of it: Didn't learn the very basics of the game for dodge and find the moment to stab, yet has the guts for insult every single thing of the game. And obviusly Phil's power to completely ruin the story, even as vague as is in SotC. Agro's fall was supposed to be touching as being your only reliable partner in the whole game, and the ending is heartbreaking after all Wanda has gone through. Phil is able to completely DESTROY the atmosphere of both situations with his out of space, obnoxious jokes and singing. There was also that moment were Agro looks at the girl worried and he has to point bestiality. I could take this video because SotC is a big favorite of mine, but DSP as always ruins the experience in every single aspect, even to himself as always does.

This broke me. I had heard of how infamously bad DSP is but I had never seen it. He played this game and learned NOTHING. He didn't learn how to ride Agro, he didn't learn how to navigate with the sword, he didn't learn how to use the sword to reveal weak points, he didn't learn how to hunt lizards, he didn't learn how to jump climb, he didn't learn how to recognize patterns, he didn't learn how to decipher clues, he didn't learn anything. He played this game and actively came out poorer for doing so, and I am furious. Make it stop.

the colossus wont let you stab it, gasp

46:30 "where is the boss?! its not like a have a button on my controller that will point my camera directly at him!"

DSP Experiences Bugged Climbing Mechanics

for an "annoying tedious horribly designed" game he sure gave it some nice compliments at the end!

Sometimes I just PRAY for DSP to just cry and bitch about the game being unfair because his commentary and jokes are ten times worse.

He's absolutely butchering the game isn't he? In his thirst to just get the playthrough out of the way as quickly as possible so that it can be uploaded to RU-vid and monetized,he is depriving himself out of any enjoyment that the game has to offer.He is an utter disgrace to gaming.

"I just tried to dodge roll, didn't work." THIS ISNT DARK SOULS

31:44"What am I doing I'm an asshole" Truer words were never spoken.

No NO NOT THIS GAME DAMNIT PHIL

*Puts down controller* "Wow look I can't do anything.

What's with him explaining that he missed out on a game? I really don't care that he missed it whilst he was "doing other stuff" it's not an exam, you don't NEED to play it to be considered a 'pro'...even though he sucks.

"he missed" no phil you missed

Oh, WOW. He laughed at Aggro's death.

Lol he almost said difficult and went back to "annoying" and "tedious"

he doesn't get that this game is a puzzle game...

I never had this kind of trouble with the camera

I'm kinda worried if I should watch this one. Considering it's steep learning curve and Phil's pea-brain.

I've watched DSP play Metal Gear Solid 1, 2 and 3. Now, I'm watching him play yet another one of my favorite games. I always knew I was a masochist, but not this much of one.

Phil has an...interesting imagination if he thought Phalanx (the 13th colossus) looked like a giant intestine with testicles. He said the word "climb" so much it has now lost meaning.

*mashes circle* DSP: it's not working *game shows he's not equipped with the sword; doesnt bother checking*

I love how little damage the bull colossus does to Phil; it's as if it's trying to have fun trolling him.

Watching Phil fight that first colossus was... painful to watch to say the least.

Please God, no. This game is beautiful and a masterpiece. If he ever tries to play Okami I'll be so enraged.

... Did he actually threaten a virtual horse?

1:39 If anyone can spend 4 hours on a single colossus, it's Phil. At least he is self aware that he is an idiot.

Phil really seems to like hitting on anything on legs that look even remotely female, dead or otherwise.

10 minutes in and I'm already angry. He stabs the first colossi's ankle and starts to climb but runs out of stamina. He then stabs it again and asks what he's supposed to do after stabbing it. YOU DID IT THE FIRST FUCKING TIME!!!!

the worst gamer in existence

12:25: Priceless Stomp.

Phil no boss should be 2 seconds

I was at the brink of insanity well I saw him fight the first colossi. Sometimes I wonder if he’s even human because no one can be that bad

He really butchered Avion....damn you Phil for sucking that bad at that boss fight :I Its such an awesome fight if you dont forget which weak spots you have attacked, actually stop grabbing when the colossus is flying straight and getting stamina back, and damn it, its not the colossus not lining up with you, its you not lining up with the colossus :I DSP really is like a car crash...you want to look away but cant.

In times of hardship we must remember the little things: at least he did not try to go about beating the colossi by hacking and slashing their feet...

Theres no way DSP could of figure all the fight by himself! Did chat help him?

Oh my god I can't stop laughing. He's like the fucking Mr. Bean of video games. ...That's a positive way of looking at it.

LMAO 1:08:30 "what do I do with this torch" *smacks him in the head*

With The Last Guardian coming out tomorrow, I hope someone makes a TIHYDP of it... Puzzles, Platforming and Stealth are DSP's worst kind of games to play.

Phil: This is gonna suck.. 31:16 Me: Phil... you read my mind..

Every time Phil starts a playthrough of a game that was released in the mid or early 2000's, he has to give his stupid little spiel on how he was into competitive Street Fighter at the time and thus unable to play the game when it was new.

i only lack one trophy to get the platinum in this, and i have to beat the 3rd colossus in less than 2 minutes (time attack) to get it... and its hard as f#ck!

No!!! Why do i have to ruin such a fucking masterpeice of a game. Godamn me, someone needs to go into my house and kill me to prevent me from playing games so horribly. No wonder why Devolopers push their game releases so far back at the end of the year, they hope i never fucking touch them and ruin them when i play these great games.

Half of the fun in playing this game for the first time is navigation. You have a general heading and vague description and you have to find out where to go from there, and you have to use your brain to navigate around the terrain and obstacles you find along the way. Of course Phil doesn't seem to understand this at all and apparently sees this mechanic as simply a mistake or troll on the developers part, like they're making things harder than they need to be just to fuck people over and make them angry.

"it keeps pointing up" yeah phils a troll

DSP Tries It: Bugged Colossus Mechanics

Is nothing sacred to this man!?!?!

oh it's going to be beautiful watching my old friend Argus smash his soul while trying to get to his hand

He makes the first colossus Valus look so difficult. If this doesn't show that DSP blatantly ignores tutorials, I don't know what does.

Don't love how at start where he talking about boss fights he out right calls himself a idiot?

18:17 "there's a bridge right here, how do I use it?" The same way you use every other bridge ever in the history of bridges Phil. You cross it...

Oh god, I feel so very stupid when I laugh to one of his jokes. I'm hoping all the cringing to most of the other ones and to his laugh makes up for it.

When I saw this in the TIHYDP playlist I sat there for 5 mins with video paused at start contemplating whether or not to watch it. One of my favorite games of all time being touched by this waste of life is already filling me with Rage and Despair. AND I HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED WATCHING IT YET.

I just hate how no matter what game he plays, DSP just has zero appreciation for the lore or universe the game is set in. Amazing that "Philistine" starts with "Phil". The racist shit at the start is also pretty unsavory. Side note: Is there any game with stamina management that he can do it correctly in?

Update: At the part where he fights Basaran, the turtle that shoots lightning. Agro is plainly usable in this arena; he wouldn't be hit by the projectiles at all if he did so.

Phil has so little respect for games other than Street Fighter its atrocious. Its like he played SF for so long he doesn't know what anything else is.

When he laughed at the horse falling....... I just...... I have never disliked him more.

I like how he calls Wander a pussy at: 1:06:55 At least he has the balls to KILL 16 GIANT MONSTERS!

The most heard sentence in this video: "What do I do?"

DSP tries bugged bridge mechanics lol hearing DSP say there isa bridge here how do i use ut is really sad.

Wait. Is he skipping cutscenes?!

Oh yeah what a great commentary! "climb! climb!! he wont climb? climb!! This sucks ass... CLIMB! this is stupid"

They really need to make a new SoC...Even just a remake would be fine, maybe each area could have 1 small side temple or dungeon type area with a mini boss and some puzzles and if you win you get a small ability or tool nothing you have to have just something to give you a small boost in future fights. I mean can you imagine if they did those fights with PS4 graphics and threw in some fun side content ?

It's literally a straight line to the first colossus.

Having achieved platinum trophy for this game (remastered) on ps4, this is especially fun to watch. Also, this is my favorite game of all time. I can replay it infinitely and never get bored.

Are you kidding me? Shadow of the Colossus? Oh boy....well, i'll see how he screws up this classic...

I'll never understand why he says "bunch of fuckin' idiots" randomly when he's annoyed.

I managed to beat this game when it first came out without nearly as much problems he has. And I was 12.

"there's a bridge right here, how do i use it?" just brilliant... and its so hard to watch how phil is incapable of comprehending whole beauty of one of the best games of all time due to lack of brain matter.. well, it would be even harder without the stream chat holding his hand

uhhhhh uhhhhhh uhhhhhhh C'MON! - DarkSydePhil

Two hours long. H-H-Here we go

This game sends me into a rage from time to time depending on which colossus I'm fighting, so I can only imagine how bad it must be for DSP of all people to play it.

Thanks phil for ruining one of the best ps2 games ever.

At 46:16 you can see the salamander climbing up there. It funny how a giant colossus is better at stealth(in not even a stealth game) than Phil 😂

As I'm writing this he's at the 15th Colossus. I can't wait for Malus.

Holy fuckin Kojima, i can't believe he destroyed Shadow of the Colossus, this is total madness and absurdity!

"I don't know how many there are in total" Really? Because I played this game in my teens and quickly learned there were 16 just by counting the statues in the room.

All jokes aside Phil seriously seems like literal baby I mean there are the obvious problems with learning and comprehending, but his tantrums and CONSTANT FUCKING SHOUTING when things aren't going his way are like a textbook case of a three year old

Clearly, he never had music class in elementary school. "Can't go over it! Can't go through it! Gotta' go around it!"

1:06:50 "maybe I can climb one of these things" I love how easy it is to notice him getting help from chat. He's so fucking stupid. I wish he wasn't using chat though. He seems to think he can just brute force every obstacle in every game.

Watching this again after three years and with more knowledge about DSP... ... and it's still painful. I especially like his "still hit me even though I dodged" catchphrase. He actually expects the game to give him complete invulnerability during the whole dodge animation, doesn't he? I mean, does he not understand that maybe he has to dodge A CERTAIN WAY, in order to avoid the incoming attack? This is gaming 101. If dodging straight doesn't work, maybe try dodging to the side. Instead he's all like "I pressed the dodge-button! What more do you want from me, you stupid game? Fuck you, Kojima!"

my god... he doesn't even know what it means when light focuses; couldn't he tell the light was spread out thus he was going the wrong way!? did he needed to have the stream tell him basic stuff!?

Thank you for making this TIHYDP, it's really well done and I can't believe Phil is actually so bad at a game that is actually pretty easy

I'm of the impression that his control stick was tilted the entire time and he is SO bad at video games he was incapable of realizing it.

I am no gamer in the least and this might be stupid to say that because i am an artist, this has got to be one of my favourite games though i have never played this game in my life. I am terribly sad that this guy even picked up this game, which also has Ico attached, which makes this even more saddening to me. He will never understand the deeper meaning behind the story nor listen to the beautiful music.

When I played this, My camera was going up like Phil’s. I thought it was my controller. But now I’m even more confused. Is his controller messed up too? Lol

Update: at the part with the bird colossus. I think you are supposed to fall off at least once. Phil falls off about six times and that's pathetic." Update: At the part with the "Wall Shadow." He thinks this guy is tough because he's the first one to shoot projectiles. He's in for a rough time with Basaran.

i love this game so much and dsp bones it over as usual, it's kinda like the anime RWBY and the colossi are the Grimm, i kinda like Dirge cos he shrieks like the Nuckelavee Grimm from RWBY Volume 4 i'll admit Kuromori (the lizard thing with a sandstorm laser mouth attack) is annoying cos of his sandstorm attack but he's really easy once you get the hang of it i haven't fought Basaran yet but he's annoying cos either the geyser clips through his body, and the part where he uses "Fuck you i'm a lightning turtle" is a pain, paired with the idiotic camera then you're in for a hell of a fight

He got lost in a temple that is one giant chamber. I am not even six minutes in, and I cannot believe it will get dumber than that.

my very first time playing this game I didn't get hit on the first Coll...DSP manages to not only not know what to do, but also die....this is gonna be a tough watch.