This Patient Gave The Classic Trauma Response... 

I just love your kind and compassionate manner, Dr. Aimie. In my opinion, your qualities of character in practice are an example of true competence and an excellent qualification to do this work. I found your story fascinating and refreshing. Your mindfulness and carefulness with the man was reassuring. I must say, the “How are you?”-“Good, how are you?” in today’s world has become a trauma trigger for me. I don’t think the average person today is even paying attention when they ask or respond. It’s become such a mindless, robotic sort of social ritual, it feels like the proverbial fingernails on the blackboard to me: irritating and aggravating. I’ve learned to take it as an opportunity to wake us up with an answer like “98.6” or “Can I get back to you on that?” or “Have you got an hour?” or “Do you really want to know?” or “Who wants to know?” It doesn’t usually go over very well, though. People don’t seem to want to wake up, and I don’t want to go back to sleep. Sigh.

Thank you for sharing your gift. I wish i lived close enough to have therapy with you. Your videos help a lot..

This description of what your patient was feeling and his responses was so helpful and insightful, as well as the manner in which you elicited these responses.

I completely relate to not being comfortable with being relaxed.. I enjoy exploring parts of my body that are relaxed so that I have a safety anchor I guess - it is a huge achievement for me to achieve a relaxed and clear overall state and when it does I really want to hold on to it, but at the same time, getting there is really uncomfortable, so much sympathetic activation fights me the whole way, saying, no it's not safe to let go of this energy! I see an SE therapist, and I recognize my immediate response to her asking how I feel is one of armoring myself (tense muscles, making myself small inside), wanting to tell her I am "fine". It has gotten easier with time and understanding for me to be more honest, and it helps that she asks me "how" I feel fine, where do I know that in my body etc. Thanks for another great vid!

This is so useful and well-expressed. Thank you.

Was talking with my sister (no trauma for her) about her husband who is an antisocial introvert like me. She was talking about a Christmas party that was hard for him, and was asking me kind of what it feels like when you do not want to be around people. I said its painful. Everything in your mind tells you not to do it, its an abhorrence feeling. She brought up another time when he was at a major league baseball game they had travelled for, and how after the game she just wanted to stay and sit and absorb the surroundings but as soon as the game was over, he wanted to leave. I said, well for me, I would be worried about being in a new city, getting safely to the hotel, avoiding crowds, not getting lost, safety back in the room, making sure everyone and everything is ok and safe. She said no, thats not him. But, I say all of this because reflecting on that conversation, and listening to your video, I absolutely have PTSD. I am always in an extreme state of hyper vigilance. Thank you for talking about this. The physical repurcussions of my anxiety are almost out of control at this point. I vomit now during times of panic and stress and basically physically fall apart. It is like my body is giving up. Maybe acknowledging where these feelings come from and why, I will find new ways to better control them. I continue to push through these times (most recently a move across country where I spent the entire time miserably sick from stress) outwardly emotionally I am fine, but I just get sick! It is ridiculous. I feel like I have pushed myself mentally so much that my body is putting a stop to it on its own by making me physically incapable of action. I am almost always uncomfortable. Scared of meds but have often almost given in to seeking them, I just feel like meds are a mirage in the desert. I keep thinking I will get mentally stronger and I work towards this but to be honest, it is all guessing. I enjoy your videos, thank you.

This was amazing information for both checking in with myself and my clients to navigate more accurate feeling and a felt sense state. Thank you 🙏

Very insightful and useful. Really good to start to get a handle on the way you work.

This talk was an FYI link in day 19 of your 21 Day Journey I'm currently taking for the second time. I am continually astounded and profoundly grateful how each new revelation of "what has actually been going on inside you" opens space for more self understanding thus self respect and compassion. How ironically the simplest question most frequently asked question worldwide of ... "how are you ?" ... over the years cemented you more deeply into shame. That each time answering with something that didn't "feel" true (whether consciously or unconsciously) your body registered it as "not true" leaving it feeling not heard and disrespected. Layer by layer reinforcing what you were feeling which was confused, embarrassed, a liar, ashamed. Thus stupid, how could I not know how I feel? And thus I'm not real, my life is a pretense and imposter syndrome become the default. When all along you for good reason you were only confused and really, for scientific biologically proven reasons, didn't know!!!

I have undergone much trauma as a child and we have adopted two sons with varying degrees of trauma. One is extreme. We have all been sick for a long time. I was trying to take an evaluation on how everyone was doing this evening and he gave his pat answer of good and promptly went to use the restroom in two directions. This gives so much clarity on what is going on and what we can do to help him. We are just not sure what the next steps are for him. I don't know when therapy is the next step and when staying at home and doing home therapy is best.

Great insights both on the level of my personal PTSD experience and supporting a trauma-impacted client. Thanks, Dr. Aimie.

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