This Works Better Than Punishment for a Child With ADHD | Discipline & Consequences

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👩‍👦 Child ADHD and Anxiety - Relationships First Masterclasses™ - childbehaviorclinic.com/maste...
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I’m Dr. Jacque from ChildBehaviorClinic.com. I'm a mom of two and a child psychologist who helps families with child anxiety and ADHD. #adhd #parentingtips #childadhd
⌚️Timestamps:
0:00 Examples & alternatives to typical punishments for kids with ADHD
1:53 What to do if a child is hitting or throwing something
2:40 The first thing you should do instead of consequences
4:24 Dealing with transitions and tantrums
5:55 A key thing to do
7:00 Don't forget this to really make discipline work
7:55 5 universal truths parents of kids with ADHD need to know
🔔 For more videos on parenting kids with anxiety or ADHD, subscribe - / @doctorjacque
WHO AM I:
Hi there. I’m Dr. Jacque Bogdanov, founder of Child Behavior Clinic. I’m a licensed child psychologist who specializes in parenting kids with ADHD and anxiety.
When we make relationships the top priority, we honor our differences, create stronger connections, and ultimately find more joy. And you deserve the support your family’s needs to do just that. I’m confident you’ll find it through the online classes in the Relationships First Masterclass™ Series.
All families deserve access to quality mental health resources, especially when it comes to child anxiety and ADHD. I take research-supported ideas and make them into simple and practical strategies you can use right away. I’m confident you’ll feel encouraged to tackle the tough stuff, by putting your relationships first. Hope to “see” you there!
DISCLAIMER:
This video, information, and related content, including information linking to third-party websites are for educational purposes only. They are not intended to replace the advice of a licensed medical or mental health professional. Information provided cannot diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent disease. Engagement between Child Behavior Clinic or Dr. Jacque Bogdanov and others on this site or otherwise does not constitute therapeutic services, psychological advice, or consultation, and should not be considered a therapeutic relationship. If you are in distress and in need of immediate assistance, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.
Executive Producer and Writer: Doctor Jacque
Director, Videographer, and Editor: Stanislav "Stan" Bogdanov

Опубликовано:

19 май 2024

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Комментарии : 45

@dustysteele5408 10 месяцев назад

Thank you! I really needed this reminder today. I know that this is a better way to teach my daughter. I was raised by parents that both physically and mentally abused me when I didn’t do something that they liked; like most people my age. It takes a lot of love for my child to stop my natural reactions taught by my parents and redirect myself and my daughter instead. Most days everything goes fine. Every once in a while she wakes up in a bad mood though and I have to breathe and not take it personally. I find that helps a lot for the day. I have to be relaxed, calm, and loving if I want her to be that way.😊

@DoctorJacque 10 месяцев назад

Thank you - this truly means a lot to me, and I appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts. It can be so tough to try and break some of those patterns, for so many reasons. I think the more we can learn and practice, the better our relationships will be, which is ultimately what we all want.

@AlissaNicholas1991 14 дней назад

I 💯% relate to this!! My son says he doesn’t know when I try to figure out the root of the issue. I could literally go through suggestions and he will still “Not know.” I also can relate to the discipline thing on how you were raised and what comes naturally for me as well. It’s definitely a daily choice to have some deep self control.

@mommybreakdown 10 месяцев назад

When we start looking at the cause and not the symptom, it helps everyone. Another great video!

@DoctorJacque 10 месяцев назад

Thanks so much for being here and watching! And yeah, figuring out what’s underneath is so important, for us and our kids ❤️

@janetpogue4970 8 месяцев назад

Thank you

@orangeseaglasss 9 месяцев назад

I love this video. Thank you

@DoctorJacque 8 месяцев назад

You are so welcome!

@Dezzydezz44 7 дней назад

Aha moment! Transitions! ❤❤❤❤thank you!

@DoctorJacque 7 дней назад

Glad it clicked for you. Hopefully it helps!

@kathryncainmadsen5850 3 дня назад

I had ONE elementary teacher who allowed me to work for 2-3 hours on one thing rather than transitioning every 45 minutes like the rest of the kids and my anxiety and moodiness dropped to zero. It NOT just that kids need to learn to blend in. Their differences also deserve our respect.

@WvMnts 6 месяцев назад

Thanks for sharing. Very informative. My 4yr flips out when he can’t do something and it goes as far as to hit his face and try and scratch himself and will destroy whatever he’s trying

@DoctorJacque 5 месяцев назад

Thank YOU for sharing and commenting 😊 I’m happy to hear you found it helpful. Sometimes a new perspective (or even a reminder of different ways) can make all the difference.

@sarahmarie5698 3 месяца назад

Thank you for sharing this! I want to learn how to better help and teach my little

@DoctorJacque 3 месяца назад

You’re welcome! Thanks for being here 💚

@frankl.1027 7 месяцев назад

Hi Dr. Jacque! First, the information from your videos are priceless and obviously you are passionate and genuinely caring about it. Your human touch is beautiful to see and it's much appreciated: helps me by leaps and bounds to understand in a loving context, to take pause and evaluate to undertake a most appropriate approach on the subject (especially that some brains are wired differently where they see square pegs with round holes implying that there's a need for a different approach, and that such people welcome understanding and support, and brings to light that regardless they are valuable and become successful in their own way). Very eye-opening indeed, thank you big time! If I may, constructively, make a suggestion: could be just me but when I watch the videos I have to close my eyes as there's too much hand movement along with zoom ins and zoom outs... or else, ironically, I find myself distracted and in difficulty of concentrating on the content at time. I know, can't please everyone, lol!! Regardless, I'll keep watching/listening to your valuable videos :)

@frankl.1027 7 месяцев назад

Our 15 year old son, in grade 10, shows no motivation when it comes to school learning and tests and this is substantiated by teachers comments as a non-starter, non-self regulator and that for years now, and the results are showing. Also, I don't think my wife and I ever saw him stay seated at the diner table / restaurant for very long, since ever, though he can watch movies no problems but overall things are not at the extreme (though it's a bit more than noticeable): he's mostly calm yet present, carries conversations, has friends and his heart is at the right place. One day I tried to potentially adapt to his learning style to help him succeed at studying for a history test: although he kept asking me why knowing history was even a thing, what good it's going to do and that it was useless (therefore "that's why I'm not motivated"), a dose of my empathy and reasoning helped. As we began, first thing I did I handed him a 3 foot wood ruler. He looked at me with an intrigued and respectful smile and asked: "What's that for?" I replied: "I don't know (as I shrugged my shoulders and looking puzzled myself). You can do what you want with it." So during my reciting the history content and making the lesson interesting by adding context, he kept walking around (instead of being confined to a seat) while turning and tossing and balancing the ruler here and there almost non-stop in my office and in the next room but, surprisingly enough, he retained everything and aced his test. Everyone was surprised including himself, my wife and the teacher. When they asked him what happened he simply replied: "Dad made it fun. But I still believe that knowing history is useless." So it's a constant uphill battle punctuated with the occasional victories and insights, but you videos make it clear that not only is he valuable in many ways despite this, but so am I to him and that gives me energy to keep going. Thanks again for your invaluable content Dr. Jacque, it's making a difference :))

@DoctorJacque 7 месяцев назад

I genuinely appreciate you and your comment. I’m so happy to hear how you’re putting the ideas into practice and how helpful it is for you. And the constructive feedback is welcome 😊 it’s a tough balance to try to make things engaging and interesting, while also trying to make sure it’s not “too much.” Like many things, hopefully it keeps getting better with practice!

@DoctorJacque 7 месяцев назад

Also, I love this story about how “dad made it fun.” It means so much to hear stories like this. It made me tear up, and it made my day. 💚

@TeacherCaveen_ 2 месяца назад

@@DoctorJacqueThis made me tear up too.

@o.g.c.9264 7 месяцев назад

Great video. Thank you soo much. Very helpful advice

@DoctorJacque 7 месяцев назад

So happy to hear! I appreciate you watching and commenting 😊

@Michalos86 3 месяца назад

I need to get my 3.5 year old son to preschool. It's a struggle. He used to go with my wife till mid December 2023. First 2 weeks were good, now it's a struggle most of the time. He wants my wife to dress him and does not take no for an answer. I tried timers, rewards after, forcing to dress him. Funny enough when my wife dresses him, he sometimes wants me to do it.

@DoctorJacque 3 месяца назад

Toddlers and preschoolers can be so tricky sometimes! Staying consistent with what you say and do, especially after a change in the norm can be really important. If things are still persisting and difficult a month into a change, then it might be time to reach out to someone like your pediatrician for more individualized guidance. I have toddler separation anxiety video that might be helpful if you have seen it yet: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-2bHdcxcn5vY.htmlsi=AOaS1S8ht2lREnX-

@user-nn7uy3ri3j 6 месяцев назад

Great advice, if parents have not tried being parents, this advise sounds like what parents already tried and started research and come to this! Dont disapline your child with adhd , just allow them to do what they want while trying to keep it together cause they are in control now !

@DoctorJacque 6 месяцев назад

Thank you for engaging in a discussion. It sounds like you were really looking for a different answer or another way to help. The sentiment here is not to allow a child with ADHD to do whatever they want, but rather consider if a punishment or consequence is the best way to teach them appropriate behaviors for each particular situation.

@RasikaNanayakkara Месяц назад

Thank you very much

@thembekadorcaskhumalo866 3 месяца назад

Growing up the only problem solving technique that was used on me was getting really beaten. Having to raise a child with ADD is extremely hard because you have to tell them the same thing over and over and still get the same results. I feel helpless and clueless at times.

@DoctorJacque 3 месяца назад

Yes, ideas about punishment and discipline have definitely changed over time. You are absolutely right though, it can feel helpless trying to parent/raise a child with ADHD as it can often feel like nothing’s working or getting better. Finding the right support for you and your family is so important, both for kids with ADHD and for their parents. It’s a journey for sure.

@alyshaviliamu1795 3 месяца назад

Fully understand, wgat your saying, 👍

@rayshellray2824 4 месяца назад

Ive tried this with my 9 year old and its not working cause half the time she dont even known why she doing it

@cmpremlap 4 месяца назад

Yes, I suspect that is very similar to what we are experiencing. I am planning on meeting with our son’s doctor to discuss medication. I am hopeful it will allow me to be a parent and not the warden at least most of the time.

@rebbeccafryer1317 Месяц назад

Executive function deficit and lack of self awareness. Is the cause. And symptom of adhd that leads to this. The trick is finding out how to help despite that.

@violinmaker4271 29 дней назад

But YOU “know why she’s doing it” so if you tell her I understand what you felt and why you did that, but how about trying this better option instead. This works with my son.

@mandysteffan2958 27 дней назад

She is not suggesting that you ask your child why they are acting out. She is suggesting that you know your child well enough to guess, put it out there, and see if that makes sense. Like, if you feel they have been overstimulated, then asking your child would it make you feel better if we could sit down and read a book together in your room?

@user-yi2db6bv5o 3 месяца назад

Do you have advice for teachers who have a student or multiple students with these behaviors?

@DoctorJacque 3 месяца назад

Great question! This would be a good topic for a future video. Trying to get to know what works best for each student, and what doesn’t, is a great place to start. I’d also say trying to have the mindset that everyone is doing the best they can with the skills they have. That way, we’re not making judgments about why someone is doing something in a certain way or how something should be for someone.

@tammyfitzgerald5336 11 часов назад

So sad we not supposed to have to raise them and teach them 😢

@Kathrynlove 4 месяца назад

I f-ing HATE parenting 😒 I am tired.

@ajkhan129 3 месяца назад

Join the club! Parenting is especially hard if we as children did not have good role models 😢

@badrumblyg 20 дней назад

you should've known what you were committing to when having children 🤣🤣🤣🤣

@goldenhelmet403 7 месяцев назад

This approach seems fundamentally lacking. No amount of cooperative problem solving will convince someone that they had a problem in the first place. No amount of safety will convince someone they are, in fact, making mistakes. Only consequences can do that.

@DoctorJacque 7 месяцев назад

Thank you for watching and engaging in this discussion. I appreciate your perspective on the role of consequences in teaching and discipline. While consequences can be useful tools in certain situations, I believe it’s essential to recognize that they’re not the only solution for correcting mistakes or addressing problems. In my view and my experience working with families, a holistic approach is often more effective, especially for children with ADHD. Consequences alone may not provide the necessary guidance on what to do differently or address the underlying reasons for the behavior. For example, when addressing hitting, it’s important to teach children alternative ways to manage their feelings and impulses. To teach them *what to do instead*. For children with ADHD, it’s also crucial to understand the reasons behind their behavior. Many times, their actions are not intentional, and it’s important to approach teaching them with empathy and a focus on intentional guidance. We need to consider the unique challenges they face due to their brain wiring and be sensitive to their needs when providing guidance. I think that relying only on consequences can also sometimes strain the relationship between adults and children. It may even impact how children perceive themselves in the long term. Building nurturing and supportive relationships, alongside appropriate discipline, can lead to better outcomes and healthier self-esteem for children. We can continue this conversation and work together to find effective and compassionate ways to support children with ADHD and their development and behavior.

@user-nn7uy3ri3j 6 месяцев назад

The beauty of psychology is no truth but theory, at no point is this a answer but OPION based treatment! Only worded that this is the answer, they never will state IN MY OPION DUE TO RESEARCH!

@kathryncainmadsen5850 3 дня назад

My experience is to add this to preventative rewards for good behavior and a daily "report card" so they earn privileges with good behavior. So the consequences of bad behavior is that they didn't earn something. Same effect from a different direction. The review of the report card is the teachable moment when they try to convince you they DID really earn it. 😅 They'll end up being really good lawyers. 😅