How To Discipline A Child With ADHD and ODD

Nicholeen Peck - Teaching Self Government

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Disciplining any child can definitely be challenging, which is why most parents think it's impossible to do for their non-neurotypical children. In this video, I'll share my advice on how to discipline a child with ADHD and ODD!
Learn more through our Teaching Self-Government Parenting Course:
teachingselfgovernment.com/ts...
Watch and Enjoy!
Nicholeen Peck
Teaching Self-Government
Key Moments in this Episode
========================
00:00 Intro & Summary
00:45 Differences Between ADHD vs. ODD
03:34 What Is Self-Government?
05:44 What To Do Before Disciplining Your Child
06:56 Helpful Resources For Parents
08:56 How To Create A Plan For Success
10:20 How To Discipline A Child With ADHD and ODD
12:43 How To Do Proper Corrections
14:15 Learn More About Parenting
What To Watch Next
========================
Can A Child Have ADHD Only At Home?
• Can A Child Have ADHD ...
Resources
========================
Get our Calm Parenting Toolkit here:
teachselfgov.com/toolkit
Learn more about us here:
teachingselfgovernment.com/about
Check out our upcoming events here:
teachingselfgovernment.com/ev...
About Nicholeen Peck
========================
Despite your best efforts at raising children, is your family dysfunctional? Do your children set the rules and have control of your home instead of you? Are you looking for parenting skills that will help you create a united, happy family?
Then meet Nicholeen Peck, one of the world’s most effective parenting experts. Whether you want to fix child behavioral issues, create more unity in the home, or simply strengthen your family relationships, her proven system - Teaching Self-Government - can help you turn chaos into calm.
"People are starving for help to save their families," says Nicholeen.
Since 1999, her seminars, workshops, one-on-one training sessions, parenting videos and books have helped thousands of families worldwide regain peace, be happy and maintain unity in their home. The secret? Learning how to use effective family systems based on parenting that’s deliberate and pro-active (instead of reactive). It all starts with the principles of self-government. If you’re a family of faith, you’ll especially love how your faith and values can be woven into her parenting system.
In 2009, Nicholeen and her husband starred in the BBC reality TV show, “The World’s Strictest Parents” (watch here: bit.do/StrictestParents ). She became an overnight sensation by turning around two out-of-control teenagers from England after just one week - without shouting, threats or manipulation. Her amazing success comes from the positive parenting techniques of using calmness, effective communication and principles of self-government.
Nicholeen Peck’s Accomplishments
========================
* Author of “Parenting: A House United,” “Popular Parenting Methods: Are They Really Working?,” “Roles: The Secret to Family, Business, and Social Success” and many other books and magazine articles.
* President of The Worldwide Organization for Women (WOW).
* Nicholeen regularly speaks at the United Nations and other congresses around the world as an advocate for strengthening families and motherhood.
* In 2009 her family was featured on the BBC reality show, “The World’s Strictest Parents.
* Trained as a foster parent for Utah Youth Village.
* Has parented many troubled foster children.
* Successfully raised (and raising) four children of her own.
Testimonials
========================
“Her loving parenting techniques work with ALL children.”
Kristi, www.thankfulme.blogspot.com
“Thank you for your insights and solutions. They have helped my family so much.”
Michelle
“My husband and I have started implementing some of your techniques, and our house has been so different!”
Julianne
“I feel that my children respect me more. I will be eternally grateful for what I have learned from Nicholeen Peck.”
Michelle Baker
“If you want to forge the strongest family bonds possible, to repair damaged relationships, and redeem a child that seems completely lost, then this program IS for you.”
Sandra
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Nate Woodbury - RU-vid Producer
/ natewoodbury
#ADHD
#Parenting
#ChildDevelopment
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29 апр 2024

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Комментарии : 260

@kyra987 Год назад

What if the parent is the one with ADHD and they find it really really hard to stay consistent? How do I teach consistency when I fail at it so badly? SOS

@mirrormirror444 9 месяцев назад

Same I have ADHD and so does my son, and his dad has depression, we’re all screwed up 😂

@MichieRentas-ny7gl 8 месяцев назад

Wow took the words out of my head. I would like an answer for your question too. Cuz I struggle with my adhd

@shamanic_nostalgia 8 месяцев назад

Hey just wanna say I feel for you, I'm a single dad with two kids that are having issues and my ADHD and whatever other issues I have are making it almost impossible to show up in the way I want/need to and often I feel like I'm making their lives worse, it's really bad sometimes...I pray we all get the help we need

@user-wl7rn5xq3b 7 месяцев назад

Hi my name is Ryan and I have ADHD I'm noticing my son has it as well and for the past six months or so he has been displaying all the traights that would suggest ODD. This makes it so much harder but I am also living in a different state then my son and daughter which I'm sure also plays a factor. I just want to help my kids...what can I do from where I'm at?

@TeachingSelfGovernment 7 месяцев назад

So sorry for the late response! I saw your comment awhile ago and added your question to my list of video topic ideas. I should have a video out about that within a month or so!

@patriciasmyth2051 Год назад

17 year old grandson with ADHD and ODD consistently answering “no” to everything immediately without thinking about what was even said🥴. We have been using your tools and they work. His brain scan shows his “brain is on fire”. Continuing to implement your techniques. Thank you for your teaching.

@Kevin.Grindel Год назад

I heard a saying today that goes if you can’t hear it you will feel it. Unfortunately I think many of these children are going to have a life full of pain. Because they are hard way learners

@TeachingSelfGovernment 7 месяцев назад

Sorry for the late response! You're so very welcome! I love hearing improvements like this! Keep it up!

@bambicampbell247 Месяц назад

I had undiagnosed ADHD, everyone told me I had it, and I was finally diagnosed in my 30s. I’m now trying to teach myself these things while teaching my own ADHD children and a nephew that is ADHD & ODD and came from a high trauma situation. I felt like me and my children were “functional “ (we weren’t really) but my nephew forced me here because it was so out of control, and now I’m learning SO many helpful things. It’s still really hard, because I’m trying to create new habits for myself as well….but I can already see some of the benefits! I appreciate you

@buunzz 8 месяцев назад

Nearly 7 in 1st grade, who absolutely will not do what he is asked and is not safe for him or others. He is a powerful, and confident person who is always trying to find a way to "beat the system" still waiting for his diagnosis.

@TeachingSelfGovernment 7 месяцев назад

Sounds like a more extreme case of ODD. I'd love to learn more about your situation and have the opportunity to discuss it on my next weekly Support Group call that happens Wednesday mornings at 8am MST. That way, other people that have similar questions and concerns to yours can hear the answer too! If you’re interested in talking with me more about it, check out the link for more information: teachingselfgovernment.com/store/support-group/ I hope this helps!

@Danielle-fx2qz Год назад

We have a 4-year-old who strongly demonstrates ODD behavior. He's extremely defiant and will answer literally any request (no matter how small) with a resounding "NO" and will basically do the opposite of whatever you ask him to do. His tantrums are violent- he hits, throws, kicks walls, and screams as loud as he can like he's trying to overpower you. In his toddler years I kinda brushed it off as normal terrible two's and terrible three's, but the older he gets the wore extreme the behavior becomes. He often targets his older brother and his teacher and other students at school so I need to get to the bottom of this STAT. I feel like we have tried everything under the sun to help redirect his behavior. As you can imagine, it gets incredibly difficult to maintain your cool when every day is a power struggle and the strain his behavior puts on our family is felt by every member. Unfortunately, I'm having a very difficult time finding resources for dealing with ODD in a child his age, since these types of behaviors are far more common in older children. Do you have any suggestions? You mentioned in the video that taking things away is not a preferred punishment, but then, what is for this age? In the past we have resorted to time-outs and taking toys and other highly coveted items (tablet, tv, etc) away when he has outbursts, and rewarding him by returning those items when he demonstrated good behavior or has a good day at school, etc.

@TeachingSelfGovernment Год назад

Great question! The full answer to your question is too long to type up here, but I'd love to learn more about your situation and have the opportunity to answer your question on my weekly Support Group calls that happen Wednesday mornings at 8am MST. That way, other people that have similar questions and concerns to yours can hear the answer too! If you’re interested in talking with me more about it, check out the link for more information: teachingselfgovernment.com/store/support-group/ I hope this helps!

@chantelmcauley4232 5 месяцев назад

Same boat ❤️

@DraciVik 5 месяцев назад

Hi Danielle, I am in the same boat with my (almost) 4 year old. Have you had any success with a method that worked since you wrote this 8 months ago? Thanks!

@Haley497 2 месяца назад

What I am going to say may sound horrible, but years and experience have shown me empirically that when the odd kids' support system fails, for whatever reason (death, illness of carers, parents' burnout, siblings' "sew-yee-side"...) a lightbulb moment happens to them. Of course nobody wishes trauma on anybody, much less a child, but when the unconditional love and safety foundations are taken away, they do realise they cannot get away with it any longer. It is a brutal scenario, but I have seen it happen and the drastic change in behaviour is quite relevant, almost shocking, because it makes you wonder "you were capable of it all along...!?"...

@m.b.6843 10 месяцев назад

Wow, this feels very supportive, as you described what we do since it’s been working best for us. BUT of course I learned something new and this helps VERY MUCH by staying on our path and still improve to help my child become a better, more stressless and healthier version of himself.

@TeachingSelfGovernment 10 месяцев назад

That's awesome!

@cperm1 5 месяцев назад

My 5 year old granddaughter was born with DS. She has been diagnosed with ADHD and ODD. Last year when she was in pre-K she started exhibiting aggressive conduct towards her classmates. She hit, threw her cup at them, and kicked them. This year I has gotten worse. Now she will kick, hit, bite, pull hair, and push them. We babysit her full time. She doesn’t exhibit these behaviors towards us. She will throw a fit occasionally, but not often. Her mom is at her wits end trying to figure out how to teach her that her behavior is unacceptable. I’m so glad I found this video! I’m going to forward it to her.

@marymclaughlin5034 Год назад

Laughing or smiling at you when you are trying to talk to them about their behavior, like they’re enjoying the incident.

@TeachingSelfGovernment 7 месяцев назад

It happens, usually when they're trying to get an emotional reaction out of you. This is called a power struggle.

@thedjsexperience 2 месяца назад

6 year old grandson was diagnosed with ADHD. He is not combative and doesn’t yell at anyone. He just can’t seem to remember how to behave. If we say left, he goes right. We say stop aggravating the dogs and he does it anyway. He speaks out of turn and never stays still. If he has 5 minutes of nothing going on he is saying “I just don’t know what to do now”. He feels like he always has to be doing something. It becomes so difficult not to just want to allow him on his electronics because we are exhausted. We don’t let him have them all the time but we run out of things for him to do and honestly energy to keep him entertained. I homeschool him and we get through it daily but it can be a bit exhausting. We’ve tried visible chart reward system, taking things away but I know we along with our daughter are missing an ingredient or few. They live with my husband and I. We want to do the best for him, but we are struggling. All of us are.

@PavewayJDAM 7 месяцев назад

ADHD and ODD child. Third Grade now. my booze budget has doubled since he was born. This IS a challenge, and these concepts should be promoted more.

@TeachingSelfGovernment 7 месяцев назад

There are lots of people in situations similar to yours. There's hope, I promise! If you're feeling low on skills and principles at your disposal, I definitely recommend looking into my online TSG Parenting Course. It goes in-depth on what skills and principles are needed, teaches about them, then lays out how to implement them into your home. teachingselfgovernment.com/tsg-parenting-course/ You’ve got this!

@user-nn7uy3ri3j 5 месяцев назад

I love the open ended comment from the video maker! Hang in their your not alone my 6 year old is ,like my mother said , hope you have 6 more like you! I have apologized to my mother on behalf of going through my kids behavior and think what my mother went through 😢 you do the best you can and know they need you, nobody has the right answer in being a parent regardless of situation! Good parent doesn't give up and doesn't give up! Don't forget you are human and can only take so much ASWELL! The fact you endure means you are a good parent and love your child!

@sedikaforbes4824 2 месяца назад

I am struggling right now and this is so helpful to me.

@erint933 2 месяца назад

Thank you so much for this video, I so appreciate it! My middle kiddo most likely has ADHD (runs in family and scored in range of ADHD on Vanderbilt but we're needing to figure out the next step). My daily struggle with her is that she seems so hostile, gets angry, loud, and controlling. Seems because I'm the parent home with her the most (we homeschool), that she pushes back on my authority at every turn. It's so exhausting and I'm in tears every day. I wonder if she has ODD too... I don't react well to her meanness and outbursts of serious anger issues. I try to be calm but seems if she doesn't get what she wants she makes everyone crazy with her loudness and mean attitude. I'm so at a loss...But this video is very helpful so far, I'm going to listen to the rest now.😉

@houseuponthemountain8540 Год назад

Wonderful video!! Thank you for always sharing your knowledge, skills and wisdom!

@TeachingSelfGovernment Год назад

My pleasure!

@BygSexyToy1 Год назад

Oh lort, I need this so much. My 7 year old daughter is ADHD and ODD, and I am trying not to lose my head. Health is already affected because she just started getting therapy after being diagnosed in late May 2022. I don't have the tools to muster through this. I work long hours so books is not really an option. People don't understand what I go through and I almost got vulgar with a younger family member with less and younger children who yelled at me for needing a breather away from everyone while on vacation. My kids were eating and I wanted to sit in our room while they were eating after a 19.5 hour day of activity idk 🤷‍♀️

@TeachingSelfGovernment 7 месяцев назад

@awinnie3029 11 месяцев назад

Our issues is controlling emotions, and detaching from one thing to the next

@TeachingSelfGovernment 7 месяцев назад

I did a class titled, "The Value and Mastery of Emotions", which could b of use to you. Here's the link: teachingselfgovernment.com/the-value-and-mastery-of-emotions/ I hope this helps!

@jennifergolay2307 Год назад

Thank you for your video's. My daughter has NVLD and it's a struggle. I hope to implement the tools you have taught. Thank you.

@TeachingSelfGovernment Год назад

You're welcome! I wish you the best in your implementation. You've got this!

@migglymax 7 месяцев назад

Thank you so much. We’re exhausted. Mornings it takes a village to get her going and even then…

@TeachingSelfGovernment 7 месяцев назад

You're welcome! There are lots of people in situations similar to yours. There's hope! You've got this! teachingselfgovernment.com/tsg-parenting-course/

@chesterelizabeth4 7 месяцев назад

Hi Nicholeen, what we see in our 8 years old son is a struggle when it comes down to sit still and do his homework. Simple exercises that should not last more than 20 mins are turning into 45 mins due to constant loud whining, kicking the chair, smacking the pencil, sometimes even tears. E. gets easily distracted and can’t sit still. While he’s in this mode, I keep reminding him what a good job he’s already doing and that mistakes are normal. Not to get so frustrated, I ask him to keep his focus… then it turns into him being disrespectful to me. Raising his voice , saying that he knows! So I send him to a quiet space for 7 mins and go get him and ask him if he’s ready to take a deep breath and try it again 😖 suggestions? Ideas? I have added chores as consequences too. We already own your 4 books and read them every night.

@TeachingSelfGovernment 7 месяцев назад

I'd love to go more in depth on this question! Since my response would be too long to type out here, I've added your question to the list of questions I'm going to answer on my Support Call this Wednesday (September 20, 2023) morning at 8am Mountain time. If you'd like to be present for the answer and discuss it with me and have access to it after the call is done, here's a link for you: teachingselfgovernment.com/store/support-group/ I hope to hear from you!

@marthamoreno1539 6 месяцев назад

My Son does the exact same thing! What works for me is I have a super basic schedule on a chalkboard, can use anything. And I have #2 after school - Homework/ reading, 1 chore I tell him once we get home it’s straight to homework and once thats done he can say hi to his hamster and play whatever he wants. I tell him the quicker he finishes his homework the more time he has to have fun. He understands this and it works for the most part. He even tells me to give him space during his reading time and while he’s doing other assignments. I will give him a small snack break if he needs but I put a timer for like 5 minutes. They do well with timers. I also incentivize him, I tell him if he does good in school and does his homework for the week and his chore he gets $5 at the end of the week. He loves that money 💰 Of course he will ask me when I do his reading timer all the time if its up. I tell him if he keeps asking I’m going to add 10 more minutes as his teacher said 20-30minutes and I was being very nice by doing the 20. We have to stick to what we say, they can tell when our boundaries are weak. They are like really good attorneys/ sales people. So be on your A game or they will win. Knowing my Son needs to know why for everything helps, when I’ve already explained why and he keeps pushing and I literally told him I gave him the answer, I will ask him if he understands what I said sometimes he says, all I heard was blah blah blah blah lol I make sure he hears and once I know he got it I tell him, I already made a decision, he spoke, I spoke and I’m not having this conversation again or I will not answer. If he comes back, I remind him of what I said that I was done. He says “ oh yeah”

@amazinggrace4999 Год назад

Hello. We have 3 sons. 16,12 and 8. My 16 year old has anxiety and adhd. 12 year old anxiety and adhd and now seeing depression at times. He is very moody. 8 year old becoming very hyper and is extremely argumentative. He consistently yells at me, back talks and refuses to admit wrong doing. I'm weary. I know we caused much of this with our dysfunction. However, we are trying to turn a corner. It's so hard to feel hopeful after so many years of bad parenting but I know and believe things can change. I just need help knowing where to begin. Thank you!

@TeachingSelfGovernment 7 месяцев назад

Sorry for the late response! That is quite the situation! The full response to your comment is too long to type up here, but I'd love to learn more about your situation and have the opportunity to answer your questions on one of my weekly Support Group calls that happen Wednesday mornings at 8am MST. That way, other people that have similar questions and concerns to yours can hear the answer too! If you’re interested in talking with me more about it, check out the link for more information: teachingselfgovernment.com/store/support-group/ I hope this helps!

@kimmarieburt1313 Год назад

15 year old daughter raised on TSG principles will comply, but resents that she doesn’t have control. She withdraws, refuses to talk, won’t hug us or even let us casually touch her while passing or chatting (personally bubble). It’s like she’s saying “fine, I accept your no and drop the subject, but you will pay.” She is happy and demonstrative when getting her way.

@TeachingSelfGovernment Год назад

Thank you for bringing this up! In a nutshell, your daughter isn't actually accepting the "no" answer if she can't drop the subject. Withdrawing verbally, physically, and emotionally when she usually is outgoing means that she is most likely harboring a grudge about something, which means she hasn't dropped the subject. If she can't do all the steps to the skill she needs to use, then she's not doing it completely and needs to be corrected. I'd love to go more into detail on this, so I've added this question/situation to my list of questions to be answered on my Support Group call this Wednesday morning at 8am Mountain time. If you'd like to log onto the call and hear a more in-depth answer, here's the link for more information: teachingselfgovernment.com/store/support-group/ I hope this helps!

@DavidMorales-jh2hh 8 месяцев назад

Hi! I work as an Elementary School teacher for second grade and I'd love to have these four books for children, but is there any way one could have them in digital? Buying the ebook, or something? Thank you in advance!

@TeachingSelfGovernment 8 месяцев назад

Yes, absolutely! We just released our digital bundle of the children's books! Here's the link to purchase it: teachingselfgovernment.com/store/digital-childrens-book-treasury/ I hope this helps!

@clairevautour432 7 месяцев назад

My husband was diagnosed in his late teens with ADHD and ODD. We now havr to daughters and my oldest is showing alot of symptoms of ADHD and ODD. She is only 3 so to young to be diagnosed yet, sympyoms I noticed are, she will hyperfocus on things like screens or toys she likes a lot, difficulty sleeping, hard to keep her focused if it's not intersting her, she will just take off from activities and jump from toy to toy. Talks a lot, but is a bit behind in her speech. She is super stubborn, puts up a fight to do most things I ask her to do or try to help her with, like getting dressed, go to be, wash herself... She throws tantrums a lot. I love her so very much but it is so hard to parent, as a child I was the complete opposite

@clairevautour432 7 месяцев назад

And I laughed when you said don't take things away. My hisband told me this story of how his mom punished him by taking a toy or a game away. While she was out of the house he proceded to take eveything away from her by throwing everything that was in her bedroom out of the window into the yard 😨

@TeachingSelfGovernment 7 месяцев назад

Thanks for telling me! It sounds like she needs help engaging her prefrontal cortex. The biggest thing to help them understand is that they don't make sound decisions when they're not calm. So, they need to get calm. To do this, help them analyze what their body physically feels like when they start to get upset or overly excited. If they can recognize the point when their body is about to go out of control, then they can begin to regulate those things. Next, they need a game plan. Once they've recognized that they're about to go out of control, what do they do next? Give them a physical cue (acting as a positive trigger to help the body snap out of the emotional process), such as taking a small step back, folding their hands in front of them, etc. Then, have them do a quick calming exercise, such as taking three deep breaths, closing their eyes and counting to 5 or 10 out loud, etc. Lastly, they need to apply a skill, such as Following Instructions, Accepting "No" Answers, or Disagreeing Appropriately. Help them understand which one they need if they don't already know. Once you've got your plan into place, then you can role play putting the plan into action. Use a common scenario that they struggle being calm in and physically act it out (pretending to start to get angry, recognizing the emotion, putting the plan into motion, and using the skills needed). To summarize: 1. Analyze body and mind (for emotional recognition) 2. Have a physical cue to start game plan and engage "front brain" 3. Do quick calming exercise 4. Apply needed skill(s) to solve issue Keep in mind, though, that what I just shared with you isn’t going to be as successful as you hope without learning the proper skills and principles of Self-Government yourself. I share 5 teaching styles that are invaluable for parents and are perfect to support them in teaching their children the skills that THEY need. Here are some links that can help you learn the skills you'll need too: teachingselfgovernment.com/calm-parenting-toolkit/ teachingselfgovernment.com/tsg-parenting-course/ teachingselfgovernment.com/parenting-mastery/ These videos of the skills being used with a small child could help you too. ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-x-QUNSXkUls.html&pp=ygUTbmljaG9sZWVuIHBlY2sgYmFieQ%3D%3D ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-tYYsYMcN9RA.html&pp=ygUqbmljaG9sZWVuIHBlY2sgYmFieSBkaXNhZ3JlZSBhcHByb3ByaWF0ZWx5 I hope this helps clear things up!

@SonyaOutThere 7 месяцев назад

From the sound of it, ADHD and ODD are two completely different mental health concerns. (i.e. not being able to focus and understand vs. being able to, but refusing to) So why do they often overlap so much?

@TeachingSelfGovernment 7 месяцев назад

@christinaslight1379 7 месяцев назад

My six year old is so stubborn and unless he catches on to something immediately he does crazy things to avoid actually trying . It’s like instead of doing it wrong while trying he will do something wrong on purpose😢

@TeachingSelfGovernment 7 месяцев назад

It sounds like he likes the feel of control in what he's doing. So, if he can't control something new, he reverts to something he CAN control and predict: bad behaviors.

@ambyrtatropetersen3337 Месяц назад

I am seeing argumentativeness, verbal impulsivity, and defiance. Even about things my child enjoys, his knee jerk reaction is to always push against. He reacts with his emotional brain, and bringing him to his logical brain is challenging. Doesn't seem to understand or care about consequences. When you try to help him understand what happened and why he will blame you saying its your fault. He is almost 7 years old. Diagnosed ASD, ADHD, and ODD. On Guanfacine XR 1xday, this treats his ADHD wonderfully and he no longer hits when angry. But still having angry impluses (smashes board games to the floor if he doesnt win, meltdowns over not getting his way, shut down behavior when given options of when to do nonpreferred activities "do you want to take a shower before or after supper?" "I dont want to, and you cant make me.") Lots of power struggles even when we give him control in a healthy way.

@amandajean33181 5 месяцев назад

What if the child refuses to role play? My son shuts down after the initial explosion/tantrum and it seens like it's settled down, the moment we want to talk about it he flares up again and screams he doesnt want to talk about it and runs off.

@MelanieVanDeGraaff Год назад

Nicholeen, these are such good principles. I want to integrate them--but I need examples--just simple enactments of following up on a misbehavior and the TSG way of correction and praise. Even if you just enacted it with yourself--just speaking through an example. That way, we'll have a better idea of what an ADHD or ODD child would look like in an experience and we'll see the way to work with them. It's just my learning style. I love to be shown! Please, for the sake of the children, show us! Add it to the caption on the front so we know there is an example we can see.

@TeachingSelfGovernment Год назад

Hi there! Thank you for your comment! As awesome as this would be, it wouldn't be beneficial to the large amount of consumers these videos get. However, I have many trained mentors who talk through and role play the skills and certain scenarios with people all the time! I'd love for you to meet with one of them to get more individual help in this. If that's something you're interested in, here's the link to sign up for a personal mentoring session: teachingselfgovernment.com/store/mentor-session/ I hope this helps!

@EdisonCPP2 6 месяцев назад

My daughter fits this profile, one of the things I struggle with is she gets really mad when corrected, but also yells at me for complimenting or bragging on her, she says it embarrasses her, and this is just the 2 of us, no one else around. Any thoughts there? Or has anyone seen this and know how to move forward. I try to put it back in her court and say, "How can I teach you as a parent, what's a way I can do this that will not frustrate you?" this has so far been without success.

@TeachingSelfGovernment 6 месяцев назад

That is a great question! The full response to your question is too long to type up here, but I'd love to learn more about your situation and have the opportunity to answer your question on one of my weekly Support Group calls that happen Wednesday mornings at 8am MST. That way, other people that have similar questions and concerns to yours can hear the answer too! If you’re interested in talking with me more about it, check out the link for more information: teachingselfgovernment.com/store/support-group/ You can also look into my online TSG Parenting Course, which guides you through creating a foundation for a self-governing family and teaching adults and children skills and principles to promote logical thinking and calm, happy interactions. teachingselfgovernment.com/tsg-parenting-course/ I hope this helps!

@tiffanypierce4550 7 месяцев назад

I have an 11-year-old boy who absolutely hates to be told no. He argues with everything I say and refuses to be told no. He will manipulate us into getting what he wants, even if he sneaks to get it. He struggles with self-image, although he has more than MOST children. His diagnosis is ADHD, ODD, and anxiety. I am about to my breaking point on how to parent him. He has had everything in his room taken out because of his defiance but that doesn't even matter to him. He just moves on to the next thing (ADHD). He is so defiant but the most compassionate child you have ever met. It is so confusing to understand what is going on in his little mind. We have no resources here to help and I am searching the internet because I am at the end of my rope. I NEED HELP PLEASE!!! He is now struggling in school and the school system is testing him AGAIN for special ed. I think he is struggling because his anxiety and depression are getting worse by the day. I'm so broken... :(

@TeachingSelfGovernment 7 месяцев назад

That is quite the situation! The full response to your comment is too long to type up here, but I'd love to learn more about your situation and have the opportunity to answer your questions on one of my weekly Support Group calls that happen Wednesday mornings at 8am MST. That way, other people that have similar questions and concerns to yours can hear the answer too! If you’re interested in talking with me more about it, check out the link for more information: teachingselfgovernment.com/store/support-group/ You can also look into my online TSG Parenting Course, which guides you through creating a foundation for a self-governing family and teaching adults and children skills and principles to promote logical thinking and calm, happy interactions. teachingselfgovernment.com/tsg-parenting-course/ I hope this helps!

@marcellaroberts3707 6 месяцев назад

Sounds like our child. I love the “it’s probably just you are a terrible parent’ attitude and looks from others. This has been going on since he was tiny. I have two other children that are nothing like this.

@AliceBryant-ue1gx Месяц назад

My granddaughter age 5. Has been diagnosed with ODD. She can become violent very quickly. Her first four years of her life were horrible. She is seeing a psychologist. We gained temporary custody and are trying to help her. Praying we can.

@yessicahartman2108 5 месяцев назад

I have a 7 yo and a 5 yo with ADHD combined presentation. Just recently diagnosed and on meds.

@ashlielaurensmith 2 месяца назад

In the classroom setting. I’m an aide. 2 boys in particular will run around the room. Ignore eye contact. Not participate in circle time or main lesson unless I take something they value away and use it as an incentive.

@erint933 2 месяца назад

PS I'm wondering your thoughts Nicholeen if it's ever too late for an ADHD kiddo to learn these behaviors? I mean this in earnest curiosity because my middle child has something for sure and she's already just about to be 12. She started behaviors at about 2 but I thought it was just the trying 2's. Then in elementary school I thought it was because of issues at school, then family stress, and then Covid (change of being at school to being at home). Now after 3 1/2 yrs of homeschool, the behaviors are getting worse for sure. I so want to see her freed from what seems like a type of suffering, and I want desperately for our home and family life to be healthy...Are we too late?

@tystkanin9996 5 месяцев назад

My adhd asd 7yo has started doing what we call "long goodbyes" where he says goodbye and blows kisses over and over to the point where hes missing the bus bc he has to run back and say goodbye to his dad for the 15th time. You also have to reapond to each kiss and each goodbye or he gets frustrated and the routine is drawn out even more. Its incredibly frustrating especially when we are trying to get things ready or be somewhere on time. We dont want to discourage him showing love by any means and we dont know how to help him with this behavior in a way that wont make him feel bad just for saying he loves us...but this cant go on. We feel like hes just holding our attention hostage and its keeping eveyone from doing the things they need to get done. Any advice is appreciated. Thank you.

@emilyengelbosch9521 7 месяцев назад

I think my brother has ODD as well, he is 16 and he is constantly doing impulsive things that are dangerous - he got arrested for the first time today for showing a fake gun to his friend in public... A few things that he does that really bother me - when he hugs me he squeezes me super tightly knowing that it hurts me, he puts me in choke holds, he is very argumentative, when he was younger we ran out of milk and we found him on the kitchen floor stabbing the empty milk jug with a knife while crying, one time my mom told him he couldnt have a soda so he grabbed a full can of sprite out of the fridge and threw it as hard as he could at my forehead and i had to get stitches, etc. the list goes on but I am now trying to figure out ways to help him (he is already diagnosed with ADHD)

@TeachingSelfGovernment 7 месяцев назад

I'm so glad you're looking for ways to help your brother. Such sisterly love! It sounds like he is definitely missing out on some skills and principles that could really help him. I hope you look more into Teaching Self-Government. If you have more questions, I'd be happy to answer them on my weekly Support Group calls. teachingselfgovernment.com/store/support-group/ I hope this helps!

@crystalbauer5245 28 дней назад

How does this course work with adhd or ODD with kids who have brain injuries from trauma or FASD?

@adaharrisonn 6 месяцев назад

You are very right about the praise angering them. Nobody (outside of the field of those trained and educated like you) understands this part or why it doesn't work when they just suggest to you to give positive reinforcement for everything. They can't compute when you explain to them that they don't want to be praised and it does nothing to motivate them. The more I praise her positivity (my daughter) the more it angers her and makes her want to do something to kill the praise and I suppose return the dynamic to one where she does what she wants, I guess? I don't really understand this behavior either to be honest, like what is the driving force behind them having that response. I forsee this part being the hardest with the roleplaying because she will not want to do a roleplay where she does anything besides what she wants. Can you help me understand what's the deal with them opposing the praise and why does it not motivate them?

@PacosBirthday 6 месяцев назад

Ok so growing up, I was a praise-hater! Depending who it came from. Praise embarrassed me, bc it only reinforced that the person giving the praise is in the position of authority, and I was not. It felt like rubbing it in my face that as a child I was a second class citizen. You know, child- class with their special menu of shitty food offered at restaurants and expectation to grin and bear the condescending tones and oversimplification with which many adults speak to children. Im trying to think of who I would accept praise from and what was different. I don’t know. Sorry. I think I was best for the people who were most non-reactive to my tantrums and calming. The people who sidestepped battles without engaging in a power struggle. Better to give their way before they fight you than to let it go so far they’re challenging you. As a parent now that seems impossible. Wish I could help more.

@Beaumirabel 6 месяцев назад

What i find really difficult is trying to coparent with someone who has a permissive parenting approach, when my 7 year old has ODD and possible Reactive attachment disorder. It is like a constant back and forth with him. He is so angry, he refuses to do anything and tells me he hates me, he hurts his siblings, its like he cant help himself. 😢

@terranorte9376 Месяц назад

I grew up diagnosed ADHD and ODD. Grew out of ODD but maintained combined presentation ADHD into adulthood. I now have 2 children, of which my daughter is ADHD and my son is ADHD and ODD. I am having issues with communication with my son without raising my voice or getting mad that he doesn't seem to get things that are "simple" (for me) to understand. I definitely need some fingers pointed into some sort of program to work on MY parenting first as I know that the bedrock of our familial success HAS to form on my behavioral responses first before I can build that missing trust with them. Where, however, should I look?

@terranorte9376 Месяц назад

never mind. You answered my questions.

@sjl8301 3 месяца назад

Have a level 4 foster kiddo. 9 and a half. ADHD. Has become physical but is so far very responsive to your teachings. What do we do if he is becoming physical?

@TeachingSelfGovernment 2 месяца назад

That's fantastic! One thing I did with my family when I did treatment foster care was institute the "5-Second Rule." In essence, my family knew that if, at any time, I were to call out "5 second rule!", they would all run to their rooms and close the doors (one of the few times we allowed closed doors in our home) and wait for me to come get them. Once I went to get them, they knew that there would be a treat/reward, since that's what we practiced and taught would be the case. This kept people out of harms' way and got them removed from the situation so I could handle the urgent situation at hand without worrying about the safety anyone else. Another thing you can do is what is called a soft hold. I teach this to people in my 3-day intensive Parenting Mastery Trainings mainly, since it's not something to just throw around on the internet. But essentially, you have to physically contain the person in a way that won't harm you or them. For age 9, I would get him on his knees, then sit on his legs behind him (or kneel/sit). Next, get his arms crossed on his chest, then hold those in place with one of your arms. Your other arm is going to be used to hold his head against one of your shoulders so he can't thrash and hurt you both. One of the biggest things while you're in this hold is to be thinking "I love you. I love you. You're safe." Model deep breathing and encourage them to get calm while in this hold. Once they're past wanting to hurt things or people, then you can let them go and have a calm discussion about what should have happened and what negative consequences have been earned because of the behavior.

@user-cb5xu4ch9r 8 месяцев назад

My kid is 3 and half years old . We are in the south part of India. In our country many couldn't even understand about the ODD type behaviour. They just taken then under the adamant category. Im handling my kid single handedly. She does exactly the opposite to what we say . She doesn't like the word or command NO . By what age will she act normal . Its really energy consuming. Setting boundaries is a big task. Please suggest me some basic ideas to follow first

@TeachingSelfGovernment 8 месяцев назад

It sounds like both of you are lacking skills to communicate effectively. I don't know if there's a specific age where children become okay with "no" answers if they haven't been given the skills they need to understand them and see that there are other options. I would recommend getting the online TSG Parenting Course, as that will go in depth on the skills and principles to improve communication and understanding on both sides of the situation. teachingselfgovernment.com/tsg-parenting-course/ I hope that helps!

@janeheller8917 Месяц назад

My grandson has ADHD AND ODD. He’s going to therapy and on meds now. He has a strict teacher. His class had a fundraiser and he raised $250 and his class one pizza for the most raised. His teacher wouldn’t let him have pizza because he had one problem to finish. It’s happened before with donuts. He thinks his teacher hates him. Is this appropriate discipline for him

@josealejandrovaldes1355 5 месяцев назад

I am a first year elementary EBD teacher and I was wondering if you could recommend any resources to help me in helping my students with adhd and odd in my classroom.

@TeachingSelfGovernment 5 месяцев назад

Great question! I do have some videos about TSG in the classroom already, though they don't specifically focus on ADHD and ODD. Here are the links: TSG in the Classroom Part 1: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-N_duINIsbfA.html&pp=ygUYbmljaG9sZWVuIHBlY2sgY2xhc3Nyb29t Part 2: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-ROc6ke-xOJU.html&pp=ygUYbmljaG9sZWVuIHBlY2sgY2xhc3Nyb29t Part 3: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-FPJVZRPL9B8.html&pp=ygUYbmljaG9sZWVuIHBlY2sgY2xhc3Nyb29t Podcast episode: teachingselfgovernment.com/parenting-blog/podcast/podcast-118-tsg-in-the-classroom/ You've got this!

@WriterusAeternus 8 месяцев назад

Can you recommend an approach for adults who are ADHD and ODD? I have a client who is 40 yo but presents like an 8yo- emotional dysregulation, takes no personal responsibility, constantly oppositional, vindictive, refuses to follow rules (they don’t apply to them), blames everyone else for their problems, engages in risky behavior, impulsive, inattentive, and highly exhausting to engage with as they argue with you about everything! Throws tantrums like an 8yo too- slams doors, throws things, and yells expletives.

@TeachingSelfGovernment 8 месяцев назад

This is somewhat of a special case, but not too much is different. The TSG approach works for anyone at any age (physical and mental). This client needs skills and consistency. I would recommend you and your client's main caretaker take the online TSG Parenting Course and start implementing what's taught there. teachingselfgovernment.com/tsg-parenting-course/ I hope this helps!

@seharris11 5 месяцев назад

are they also a narcissist? That's hard to change cluster B types

@HappyWarrior888 Месяц назад

My son is 5. He is big and strong. He tends to get in trouble because he ends up hurting kids when playing. He doesn't know his strength! His restlessness got him isolated on the carpet 😢

@marilynmaldonado1426 5 месяцев назад

My sin was just diagnosed with ODD and I don't really know how to educate myself so that I can properly help him ... I love my child but I don't know what I'm doing .. I need help ...

@dianaperilla3071 2 месяца назад

Hi. I want to sign up for the training. What do I have to do? Thanks.

@christianleconte5466 2 месяца назад

Hi just at thé answers of the posts just above yours or just below yours🙂

@semantica-james 6 месяцев назад

our 6YO daughter shows signs of ODD / DMDD -- for ex most mornings look like this: She will find (invent or imagine!) something that is bothering her and then start picking away at it. The last 3 mornings it has been "Daniel (brother) is making annoying sounds (he's not)... Make him stop! This will grow and gradually turn into shouting, crying, name calling, hitting (!) -- EVEN IN COMPLETE ABSENCE OF REACTION FROM ANYONE. Any attempt to correct, calmly sooth, punish, converse all fail and just make her even more agitated.

@rachelleclair542 Год назад

My oldest wants to control everything and everyone in the family. He is oblivious to other people's social cues and doesn't know when to stop a behavior that is unkind or annoying. He also has a double standard and rules that he makes up for others don't always apply to himself.

@TeachingSelfGovernment Год назад

Hi Rachel! This is a tough situation. On the bright side, this is a perfect question for my weekly Support Group calls! If you'd like to join and submit this question, I'd love to answer it! Here's the link with more information, if you're interested: teachingselfgovernment.com/store/support-group/ I hope this helps!

@ayeholmes7699 Год назад

Look into autism

@safirerose133 Год назад

What's the link for TSG University if I'm saying it right.

@TeachingSelfGovernment 7 месяцев назад

Sorry for the late response! Here's the link for the Parenting University Package: teachingselfgovernment.com/parenting-university/ You've got this!

@lydias2989 2 месяца назад

My son just got dx with adhd combined and ODD. He has a lot anger, low self esteem, and never takes accountability for his actions or success. He says hes stupid and cant do what all the other kids do because of that. My parenting technique isnt helping him and i feel sometimes makes his behavior worse. I have some mental conditions myself that i have struggled my whole life to manage, barely able to myself, and now i am really struggling to help my son too.

@bethschwallie7612 2 месяца назад

I am grandma of a very defiant 8 year old. His dad is constantly yelling at him and mom just gives up. When he goes into confrontational mode there is nothing I can say or do that gets him out of it. It's awful. Suggestions

@sweetlilyhex3954 7 месяцев назад

My 16 year old Son threw away my taco toppings for our dinner because I refused to assemble his tacos and top his tacos first before I prepared mine. I’m coming home from work and needed to eat something so I chose to eat first. If I had not eaten my tacos earlier I would have had nothing to eat, because he threw it all away! 😢

@TeachingSelfGovernment 7 месяцев назад

That's not fun! It sounds like there might be some boundaries that either need to be established or that are being crossed over.

@richardmitchellcoaching 7 месяцев назад

My 6 year old will sit or stand and just say no each time I tell him to do something. Go upstairs and brush your teeth. I'll say that at least 10 times before having to carry him upstairs myself. If I tell him that he can't go first when batting in baseball, he will throw his bat and refuse to play at all.

@TeachingSelfGovernment 6 месяцев назад

Sounds like he needs some skills and consistent correction from you! ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE--8lp00j2LqA.html&pp=ygUYbmljaG9sZWVuIHBlY2sgbm8gYW5zd2Vy You've got this!

@Kevin.Grindel Год назад

Not completing instructions for the ADHD and not dropping the subject for ODD. Are 7 and 9 yrs olds too old to use the calm down spot? I’m struggling to move onto the rule of 3.

@TeachingSelfGovernment Год назад

No, they're not too old, but pretty close. If you'd like some help with the Rule of 3, I would recommend asking a more specific question on my weekly Support Group calls (found here: teachingselfgovernment.com/store/support-group/) or purchasing a meeting with one of my certified mentors to help you personally. Here's a link for the mentor meetings: teachingselfgovernment.com/store/mentor-session/ I hope this helps!

@user-yi2db6bv5o 2 месяца назад

I am a public school teacher. I am wondering why I am seeing more and more students with these behaviors. I teach small children, so I am often the first professional to spend a lot of time with them, and to get them support. Do you have a theory of why many of our children are ODD?

@jacqueerenfro9389 6 месяцев назад

I have a 15 year old that displays all the behavior of either ODD or ADHD. She’s been like this all her life, so it’s not a teen thing . She’s also homeschooled for the last 3 years. Will this course be relevant to teen years?

@TeachingSelfGovernment 6 месяцев назад

The online TSG Parenting Course is totally geared for helping with teens, as well as addressing ODD and ADHD. We have so many families that are experiencing things similar to you and they've seen lots of success! Many parents will actually have their teens do the course with them so that everyone is learning at the same pace. It should be a perfect fit for your situation! teachingselfgovernment.com/tsg-parenting-course/ You've got this!

@outofthebox423 Месяц назад

I have acquired an 11 and 12 year old through a new relationship. They are girls and I find myself losing steam on how to deal with their messes. One has become a clepto and the other no matter what I sat to her she says okay or I didn't know. I find myself repeating myself daily about chores and cleaning up.

@antonettepfister8062 6 месяцев назад

My 3 year old son has strong signs of ADHD he can’t handle his emotions and get angry and aggressive especially against authority and when he struggles with something. He will throw things or hit and kick me and scream and pull faces at me while he will only scream and pull faces at others in the house and sometimes he will throw things with them as well but mostly it is me who gets the worst end of it even is someone else corrected him He can’t concentrate an one thing at a time and is very busy! And my other problem is his dad my Husband also has ADHD so when it comes to emotions I sit with 2 that is getting angry and then I Must handle 2 sometimes it is getting to much my husband is trying but I understand he also struggles but sometimes I feel like I am alone with 2 ADHD kids please help

@mirutful 2 месяца назад

My 6 year old daughter is resisting every single thing! She is obsessed with her negative thoughts and constantly provoking me into arguments. She doesn’t respect boundaries and loves manipulating. Every morning she throws a tantrum not to go to school. Should I home school her instead? I can’t take it anymore. I’m a single parent without any help

@heatherrange6381 10 месяцев назад

This is good information, but my 6yo son is extremely defiant and has become very violent with me and refuses to talk through anything. He will threaten me that if I don’t allow him to do what he wants he is going to have a “bad night” which means he is going start throwing things at me, kicking the walls, physically attacking me, etc. I try to avoid power struggles or walk away to allow him to calm down, but he will chase me and demand I come back and gets even more aggressive/agitated. I don’t know how to implement teaching techniques when he doesn’t listen to my authority at all.

@TeachingSelfGovernment 7 месяцев назад

@hiddenhand6973 6 месяцев назад

Have you ever looked into using omega 3 fatty acids for mood improvement? Have you had his iron and vitamin D levels tested?

@youngsneaker5382 5 месяцев назад

I’m a father of a 4 year old boy with ADHD and is not that hard for me to discipline my kid because he fears me , my strong voice my strength and body size scares him so i personally don’t need any help with him because he’s like an angel when he’s with me . But here’s the problem he’s only a good kid when’s he’s around me but around his mother at daycare or with someone he doesn’t know he’s a problem .. What should i do ?

@IceRockPolar 2 месяца назад

He’s probably acting out with everyone else because he’s scared of you

@jarrodwise6351 8 месяцев назад

OMGoodness! Single dad full custody of my 7 year old mini me. He has been diagnosed w ADHD/ODD. I am being tested for ADHD myself. I, on the otherhand have PTsd from Iraq. I have reached out everywhere, only to be promised help but never delivers. Drs wont get back to me after starting meds so the script has gaps in the dosage. The school is a joke, I even reached out to city officials and get blown off. Im being assaulted everyday. I am losing, and my ship is sunk. just treading water, wearing down tho.

@TeachingSelfGovernment 8 месяцев назад

Wow! You've got quite the handful! I'd be happy to help. It is important to remember, however, that the change you're looking for is something that will take some time with deliberate, consistent action and learning of skills and principles. I answer questions about this type of situation a lot on my Support Group and meet individually with parents to personally coach them as they implement those skills and principles into their daily life as they learn. Here are a few links that could help you: teachingselfgovernment.com/calm-parenting-toolkit/ teachingselfgovernment.com/tsg-parenting-course/ teachingselfgovernment.com/store/mentoring-call-with-nicholeen/ teachingselfgovernment.com/contact/ I hope this helps!

@jalindaowens7589 Год назад

I have a 14 year old with both of these. He is totally self involved. What I mean is he does only what he wants. He doesn’t care the results coming for others. He absolutely refuses to pick anything up after himself including peeing on the toilet seat. He refuses to follow a rule including bringing drugs in the house or smoking nicotine and vaping. He has no respect for himself let alone anyone else. He is affectionate and shows love towards me, he possesses some anger issues due to his past. He is on probation for stealing cars and theft of alcohol at a drug store. I need help.

@TeachingSelfGovernment Год назад

Hi Jalinda. This sounds like a complex issue. I'd love to help you with it. The best way for me to do that is to tell you about the resources I have on my website, teachingselfgovernment.com. If you haven't checked it out yet, I'd encourage you to. There are so many people that I want to help, which is why I've made online courses and options for mentoring and further learning. I know that's not a direct answer, which is probably what you were hoping for, but I want to make sure I can help you in the best way possible. I hope this helps!

@Kirterra 4 месяца назад

My son has had adhd for a few years and the odd is new this year

@TeachingSelfGovernment 3 месяца назад

It happens! The only thing to keep in mind with ODD is that they might choose to do negative behaviors a bit longer than those who don't have ODD. But, other than that, everything I share and teach applies!

@Lucialearning 6 месяцев назад

Do you have tips for ADHD and addiction? My son just ate 51 Chocolate bars in the last 6 days - they were supposed to be for a fundraiser. They were put away until we could go out selling again, but he snooped around until he found them and binged.

@melissashrader5989 3 месяца назад

Hello, My daughter is 13. I don't have a diagnosis but I suspect my daughter has ADHD and ODD. Especially after listening to your information in this video I'm not sure how I can set up all the stuff I need to at this age. Is it too late to put these practices into place? How can I help her? We have a good relationship and good communication. She's incredibly intelligent however she is refusing to do school - we homeschool - she's behind because she's refusing to do school and she's not taking consequences. I've (just by sheer luck) always talked to her in a similar manner but not done role playing. When I talk to her I do the following: I tell her what she did wrong, tell her what should happen, and tell her the consequence - but I don't have a way to enforce the consequence. She just simply doesn't show up. That's what I've been calling it. She just stays in her room, goes for a LONG walk for hours, hides in the house in different place. When she does this I approach it by adding chores or explaining that she can't do this in the future at a job or in a relationship etc. Crash and burn right? I need to find out if it's too late and how to have her "show up" for her consequence. That's the real problem in our discipline loop here.

@TeachingSelfGovernment 3 месяца назад

Nope! It's not too late at all! There's definitely hope! There are so many families that use this system with their children (teens included) that have these very same diagnoses. If you're looking for a good place to start, I would start with the Calm Parenting Toolkit. teachingselfgovernment.com/calm-parenting-toolkit/ It sounds like she's lacking skills to communicate how she feels and could need more consistency with teaching and maintaining those. I would discuss the Four Basic Skills that I teach to everyone with her, which made my home life a breeze in comparison to most homes. And this was with troubled foster teens as well! Here are a few links that could be helpful for you and your family: teachingselfgovernment.com/store/parenting-a-house-united/ teachingselfgovernment.com/tsg-parenting-course/ Some videos: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-1EVYVgWiJtc.html&pp=ygUVbmljaG9sZWVuIHBlY2sgcnVsZW9m ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-z6a1-JJXoz4.html I hope these help!

@Shak_123 2 месяца назад

My son (12years old) steals money to buy friends to prevent receiving threats made followed through on(bullying)he has been diagnosed with adhd odd CD.(medicated) behaviors are lying stealing runaway disregulated often.struggles to understand cause and effect.i myself am a mother of 5 in therapy ptsd,dissascotiation,anxiety,depression.Nicoleen uve been a massive deal to me any advise would take a weight off.❤jazz

@Shak_123 2 месяца назад

And what would help my son to enjoy school in ur opinion

@jalindaowens7589 Год назад

I am terrible with command encouragement, as I never experienced positive feedback growing up. How do you get them to do tile play? All three of my teens just laugh at me.

@TeachingSelfGovernment Год назад

That is a great question! The full answer to your question is too long to type up here, but I'd love to learn more about your situation and have the opportunity to answer your question on my weekly Support Group calls that happen Wednesday mornings at 8am MST. That way, other people that have similar questions and concerns to yours can hear the answer too! If you’re interested in talking with me more about it, check out the link for more information: teachingselfgovernment.com/store/support-group/ I hope this helps!

@raidermom924 10 месяцев назад

my ADD son tends to get VERY angry when he can't easily figure out how to do something or if he loses a game my ADD/ODD daughter tends to start playing dumb when she doesn't want to do something. For example, if she is asked to clean her room, she'll start saying she doesn't know how to turn on the vacuum, where the cleaning supplies are, doesn't know where to put her things away, etc. The other thing she does is when I try to help her see that she's making decisions that are going to affect her negatively, I will ask, "This decision is going to cause bad consequences for you. Is that what you want to choose or do you want to avoid the consequences and make a good choice?" She will point blank tell me, "I want a bad decision".

@TeachingSelfGovernment 10 месяцев назад

@nanatony4853 4 месяца назад

My son is 9 years old and refused to control himself or self government so I have to get the control and to push him do the thing so ended by that he became with no personality say yes for everyone for everything plus doing things behind my back?? It’s soooo frustrating what is that ?

@TeachingSelfGovernment 3 месяца назад

It sounds like he might be manipulating himself away from confrontational situations, as they could be a source of trauma for him. I don't know your exact situation, but these videos could help: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE--8lp00j2LqA.html&pp=ygUYbmljaG9sZWVuIHBlY2sgbm8gYW5zd2Vy ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-1EVYVgWiJtc.html&pp=ygUVbmljaG9sZWVuIHBlY2sgcnVsZW9m ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-xavYdtwOL2o.html He needs skills and consistent correction, as well as calmness in himself and in his parents. I hope these help!

@tatianaquintero4355 5 месяцев назад

12 yo daughter, adhd defiance, lying on small things but the big situations she reacts responsible. Disorganization as well. Consequences at home have lost value. If I take her phone or tablet she sneaks in and gets them. She is restricted from being on social media after a certain hour and leaves both phone and tablet in our room but then sneaks in and boldly brags about being on until the wee hours in the morning. I tried rewarding successful nights and tried removing items completely. We talk and communicate to a certain point but I feel like it's shallow. Maybe looking for attention? It's worrisome for many reasons. Where do we start addressing this?

@colleenl1574 Год назад

Oldest daughter now 16 with ODD and ADHD makes verbally rude comments they are hurtful to me (mom) and sister and she says she can’t see or understand how rude and or hurtful they are. Also very controlling with us. It’s all very upsetting it causes us all to lose our peace.

@TeachingSelfGovernment Год назад

I'm so sorry to hear that! I don't know a lot about your situation, but it sounds like the behavior needs to be addressed, not the words being said. It could be helpful to teach her the skill of Disagreeing Appropriately. I'm sure there are loads of other things that could help. If you're interested in digging in deeper, feel free to check out my online TSG Parenting Course: teachingselfgovernment.com/tsg-parenting-course/ I hope that helps!

@colleenl1574 Год назад

@@TeachingSelfGovernment wonderful thank you! Yes, in listening to your videos I was thinking the exact same thing. I will start with the skill of disagreeing appropriately. Thank you! And then I will look into your additional curriculum. Thank you again!

@ILthegreat 8 месяцев назад

Your comment could have been my own. 14-year-old daughter turned oppositional when she turned 11. She steals the piece from our home and is teaching the younger siblings how to behave. I'm not a doormat of a mother so I consistently push back and nothing has been successful in 3 years. She's mean, she consistently insults and calls all of us names. I've tried all of the advice from these videos. She doesn't stop.

@anastasiamurawski6179 2 месяца назад

Consistency is impossible. It was easier when my son was younger, to discipline him i mean but he's 21 yrs old now, starting to drink even though it's a really stupid thing to do, he's so impulsive and I don't know what to do. He has been living with his grandparents and they let him get away with murder, number one reason he wants to live with them. I knew I had trouble when I tried to control how much computer time he had as a kid , and he would just sneak in time on the thing while I was sleeping and things like that. I didn't think he had ODD at first because he's such a bright kid and he never was one to throw tantrums, but he just will not listen to people , especially those in authority. He also struggles with PTSD but now he uses that as an excuse. He wants to come and stay with me for various reasons to hard to get into here but I'm scared. I struggle with my own issues, a lot of mental health problems but I've been to jail due to something I did while drinking (I'm sober now) and I at least can tell him that jail may be a consequence if he keeps it up. I tell him he doesn't want to go there , he says things like , "it wouldn't be so bad, I'd have people to talk to and food to eat, etc" but I tell him he will lose his freedom and people will tell him what to do all of the time. He's sad because he wanted to join the military but he's too messed up for that, and same thing, they are strict and order you around. he wouldn't like it. I'm trying to get him to focus on the future , come up with new plans. He's negative and depressed, and there has been a suicide in the family and I'm really scared , he's so impulsive he might just take his own life. he got the diagnosis when he was in the mental hospital for just this reason, feeling suicidal and hopeless. I don't know what to do and my current therapist is not much help. So as you can see the inconsistency, going back and forth (shared custody) his whole life he wants a home. I don't know what to do, sorry this is so lengthy but I thought I better use this opportunity to maybe get help from a professional in the field and understands the disorder. I blame myself a lot, but I don't think it's my fault. he was never one to throw tantrums, he just would sulk if I yelled at him or told him no. Okay Okay I'll wrap it up. maybe some other parents might have some words of wisdom too. Thanks.

@michelebauers7864 6 месяцев назад

What do I do with a four year old that is ADHD/ODD and destructive in the classroom?

@TeachingSelfGovernment 6 месяцев назад

That is a fantastic question! These resources might help you in your efforts: TSG in the Classroom Part 1: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-N_duINIsbfA.html&pp=ygUYbmljaG9sZWVuIHBlY2sgY2xhc3Nyb29t Part 2: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-ROc6ke-xOJU.html&pp=ygUYbmljaG9sZWVuIHBlY2sgY2xhc3Nyb29t Part 3: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-FPJVZRPL9B8.html&pp=ygUYbmljaG9sZWVuIHBlY2sgY2xhc3Nyb29t Podcast episode: teachingselfgovernment.com/parenting-blog/podcast/podcast-118-tsg-in-the-classroom/ I'd also be happy to address your question in person on my weekly Support Call, if you'd like a more personalized answer. teachingselfgovernment.com/store/support-group/ You've got this!

@roselolagne6642 Год назад

My ADHD Daughter can not just say OKAY, I saw your other video and tried to talk her into it the way your friends mom did but she refuses. She feels like she needs to argue or have the last word no matter the situation.

@TeachingSelfGovernment Год назад

What a situation! The remedy to this situation is too long to type up here, but I'd love to learn more about your situation and have the opportunity to answer your questions on my weekly Support Group calls that happen Wednesday mornings at 8am MST. That way, other people that have similar questions and concerns to yours can hear the answer too! If you’re interested in talking with me more about it, check out the link for more information: teachingselfgovernment.com/store/support-group/ I hope this helps!

@everlybnb2409 Год назад

Me too. She enjoys arguing and has been a little lawyer forever. Like over every detail. I just don’t like talking with her and avoid her unless it is fun activities for now. We literally had the “ok box” years ago where she earned tickets for saying ok. Sadly she is 16 and it is only worse, now she just demeans every idea I have. Thank God my two littles say ok easily! I have trained her what to say and now she refuses to say what is needed because I am saying it because it would make me happy. Ugh

@hannahsage6432 Год назад

Is There A Number We Can Call To Have A Mini Session On What We Are Handling In The Household?? Too Much Factors To Explain On A Comment Or Even On A Public Space...

@TeachingSelfGovernment 7 месяцев назад

Yes there is! Thank you for asking! Here's the link to help you out: teachingselfgovernment.com/consult-with-a-teaching-self-government-parenting-mentor/ Happy to help however we can!

@jillmcbride4416 Год назад

Can you do a video on how you got younger? 😊

@TeachingSelfGovernment 7 месяцев назад

That's so nice of you to say! You're probably referring to my weight loss and the natural, side effects of it. I did a video all about that already! Here it is: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-1sK0J_MrlqU.html&pp=ygUabmljaG9sZWVuIHBlY2sgd2VpZ2h0IGxvc3M%3D Thanks for asking! And sorry for the late response.

@Roar1921 10 месяцев назад

Will this work for a 14-yr old who may find role play childish? Also, after we have made all the mistakes of correcting him in the wrong way all these years? I hope yes!

@TeachingSelfGovernment 10 месяцев назад

100% yes! It doesn't matter what behaviors or mistakes have been made in the past. If you want to become better and make changes, then you just have to be consistent in what you've found to be right, good, and true. I focus on principles that are rooted in right, good, and true to help others have a lasting change of heart.

@Roar1921 10 месяцев назад

@@TeachingSelfGovernment thanks a lot. Will try🙏

@terririggs9923 Месяц назад

Please reply. 7year old son refuses to take his medication for ADHD?

@RogueSky8 Месяц назад

I know a kiddo who wears a patch vs. taking a pill. Not sure if that would work for your kiddo.

@TeachingSelfGovernment Месяц назад

It depends what the specific situation is. Will he take it if pressured? Or are you having to literally force it into him? Either way, it sounds like he's not following instructions and needs to be corrected. That's the short, "in a nutshell" answer. teachingselfgovernment.com/tsg-parenting-course/ I hope that helps!

@ToniHancock 2 месяца назад

Need Help with a child that will always go against what the rest of the family want to do. Example. whenever eating out, he will not want anything on the menu, but won't/cant tell us what he wants, or wants what he knows is not available. Same with what he wants to do. Moaning he is bored (despite having loads of toys and a device he can use), yet hates all suggestions. Sometimes it feels he is doing this deliberately. He ruins trips and is affecting the whole family. More often than not, will not take responsibility for his part in arguments. When asked to stop a behaviour, will not take instruction in order to create or continue arguments.

@thomasinabrown314 Месяц назад

My daughter is just defiant overall. She refuses to do what is requested of her, she is destructive, doesn't respect other people's property and is making life unpleasant for everyone around her.

@user-xi1sh8rw3v 8 месяцев назад

My son is very impulsive at scool ,he is constantly talking when the teachers explain,he well not take a no for an answer,and he can't finish a task or a homework,he is 7 😢i need help

@TeachingSelfGovernment 8 месяцев назад

It sounds like he might be entitled and doesn't understand his role. I would recommend getting my book, "Roles" and read it with him. The online TSG Parenting Course would be super helpful for you too. Here are the links to find those: teachingselfgovernment.com/tsg-parenting-course/ teachingselfgovernment.com/store-category/materials/ I hope this helps!

@hiddenhand6973 6 месяцев назад

Does he get enough omega 3 fatty acids, magnesium and vitamin D?

@grandmasangels5627 3 месяца назад

He has add, ADHD, odd, detachment disorder, I NEED extreme help with him.. I'm at an emotional breakdown with him.. he's now 18

@TeachingSelfGovernment 3 месяца назад

There's definitely hope! There are so many families that use this system with their children that have these very same diagnoses. If you're looking for a good place to start, I would start with the Calm Parenting Toolkit. teachingselfgovernment.com/calm-parenting-toolkit/ I hope that helps!

@grandmasangels5627 3 месяца назад

@@TeachingSelfGovernment thank you for responding back to me..

@davehampton8677 8 месяцев назад

10 yr old girl. Refusing to follow rules. Steals numerous times a day from food to other people’s things etc and my bag. No consequence you give her works. No rewards to follow rules and not steal et work. We advise her of consequences will occur if things happen again and still does it. Then says we are unfair to her when she gets the consequences. Which lately are increasing beyond us being able to manage. Tells me she does it because she wants to and she doesn’t care if it upsets anyone. She wants it and should be able to have it. Refuses to dress of a morning etc them cry’s when she misses school. Please I need help the family is falling apart. She’s very manipulative as well. Lies and we all get upset and angry as it’s not stop. We also have calm sit downs and talk to her and she says ok and she understands

@TeachingSelfGovernment 8 месяцев назад

I'm so sorry you're struggling! It sounds like you both could benefit from learning and implementing the skills and principles of self-government. The best way for me to help you with that is to recommend you to my online TSG Parenting Course, which goes into detail on so many helpful things, or attend my next 3-day Parenting Mastery Training, which you could do with your daughter. Those are the best things I have to offer. Here are the links to those, if you're interested: teachingselfgovernment.com/tsg-parenting-course/ teachingselfgovernment.com/parenting-mastery/ Just remember that changing hearts (which changes behaviors) takes time. Don't give up on her or yourself. You've got this!

@erint933 2 месяца назад

In the moment I get so stumped at the consequences part...anyone relate? Ideas?

@user-kp7jw9gv9g 5 месяцев назад

I have a 9 year old son who refuses to do anything on his own, can’t take responsibility for his own actions and blames others, is falling way behind in school because he can’t stay focused during important directions and believes he needs help to complete his work, he so smart with things that interest him but thinks he needs help getting a shirt on. Help!

@katydenman2434 6 месяцев назад

My 8 year old daughter keeps screaming and crying every time she doesn't get her way . She also hurting her younger siblings I am at a loss

@NormaGarcia-cc3md Год назад

Arguing about everything

@TeachingSelfGovernment 7 месяцев назад

There are lots of people in situations similar to yours. There's hope! You've got this! teachingselfgovernment.com/tsg-parenting-course/

@KaulananapuaStone 3 месяца назад

I got 4 children all with different levels of adhd and 1 child with odd as well

@TeachingSelfGovernment 3 месяца назад

That's okay! There's still hope! I would start here: teachingselfgovernment.com/calm-parenting-toolkit/ Then you can move onto the Four Basic Skills, which are essential for consistent, calm communication. ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE--8lp00j2LqA.html&pp=ygUYbmljaG9sZWVuIHBlY2sgbm8gYW5zd2Vy I hope this helps!

@soniajohnson-fuller5498 3 месяца назад

Defiance, throw things, wants to control everything &everyone.

@TeachingSelfGovernment 3 месяца назад

There could be some calmness and consistency issues, but I don't know enough about your situation (family culture, social culture, etc.) to give you specific advice. I can tell you one thing: the only person you can control is yourself, which means you can choose calmness and maturity. You can choose to show love for someone, even if they are choosing not to show it to you. You can decide that you aren't going to continue with the same behaviors that you're surrounded with if they don't match what you feel is best for you and your family. You can choose to improve yourself by deliberately learning skills and principles that will help you become a better, more well-rounded person. There are lots of options, even if it seems like there aren't. This option that I offer for free has been a huge blessing for many people, whether they have children or not: teachingselfgovernment.com/calm-parenting-toolkit/ I hope that helps some!

@teresalyons4199 6 месяцев назад

How can I reinforce boundaries of physical confrontation from my son please.

@TeachingSelfGovernment 6 месяцев назад

@brittanyboggs1650 2 месяца назад

My son is 11, recently diagnosed with ADHD and ODD, he used to be so happy and now every day when it comes to being told to do something or to not do it…he does the complete opposite with yelling, cursing, hitting, throwing things. He’s not so little anymore so he is hurting myself and his 5 year old brother. When they are playing together and he wants his brother to do something…if little brother doesn’t comply my oldest will hit him. We started medication but still are having these issues. He behaves well other than not wanting to complete work at school at times but no verbal or physical abuse at school. Every day is a challenge for him and I just feel like I’m failing him

@zobee1kanobe 2 месяца назад

Our 8 year old is constantly angry and having tantrums. It's an every day all day problem. It's fatiguing.

@RogueSky8 Месяц назад

7 year old with hx of trauma & abuse who refuses to do anything he doesn’t want to do at home & school. Cusses, name calling, hits, runs away, & destroys items (all behaviors happen at home & school). Has been suspended dozens of times since kindergarten even with a plan in place & in a specialized classroom. Me, school, counselor, & pediatrician are all at a loss .

@timgstar3585 6 месяцев назад

Hi he's not taking his meds for ADHD he's out of control not sleeping or going to school he's 15 I have no idea what to do because he's getting worse over time

@TeachingSelfGovernment 6 месяцев назад

@timgstar3585 6 месяцев назад

@@TeachingSelfGovernment Thank you very much 🙏

@hiddenhand6973 6 месяцев назад

Get his omega 3 levels checked, iron, vitamin D, B12, folate, etc + behavioral therapy

@Maudernized 5 месяцев назад

How can you roleplay a whole environment of distractions without the actual distractions?

@lizbaumann8946 3 месяца назад

Cant get your books on the uk!

@TeachingSelfGovernment 2 месяца назад

Which ones? I know shipping is expensive to get physical material from the States to the UK, but we've done lots of work to make the materials accessible to more people. We have many things available digitally. teachingselfgovernment.com/calm-parenting-toolkit/ teachingselfgovernment.com/tsg-parenting-course/ teachingselfgovernment.com/store/digital-childrens-book-treasury/ www.amazon.com/Parenting-House-United-Childrens-Self-Government/dp/B09NF7R61P/ref=sr_1_1?crid=373S0PKNZBUEO&keywords=parenting+a+house+united+2nd+edition+nicholeen+peck&qid=1706718294&sprefix=parenting+a+hous%2Caps%2C323&sr=8-1 Above is the link to get my main book in either audio or Kindle versions. I hope that helps you a little bit!

@lizbaumann8946 2 месяца назад

@@TeachingSelfGovernment The children's ones, thank you