Three Concussions - Campfire Stories 

"Did you eat the match heads?" "No..." "That was a very guilty no." "Yes... I did." "Did it keep the mosquitoes awa-" "NO, IT FUCKING DIDN'T."

Zach is literally too smart for his COs to be happy with him. Absolutely astounding.

New Slogan idea for the Military. "Come fight in Iraq its a lot safer than Fort Polk"

Mike : walks out of line Drill sergeants : *So you have chosen... Death.*

This is the second evidence of Zach having the nickname “Hazard” while he was in the military.

The rage in “NO IT FUCKING DIDN’T” is too relatable

I love how the Sargent isn't even angry because "Hey, that's honestly the best thing you could do in that situation" edit: you fuckin people

Look! A wild Zach in power armor! It's as rare as seeing him not hate Fort Polk!

What Zach didn't know is that those 3 concussions made him a superhero. and the only superpower he got was massive amounts of gun knowledge he's never gonna use !

The drill instructor who pulled Zach and had a personable conversation about the grenade. I got whiplash when it went from yelling to calm indoor talking

I just love imagining zach flopping and trying to breath like a fish out of water

These guys are so amicable about discussing the hardships of military and training, it's honestly very heartwarming. I bet if they got shot in some sort of firefight they would just crack a joke as the medic is treating them.

I went to knox, that damn "confidence tower" I watched a guy fly off the top and miss the pad entirely. Drill at the top, looked at me and mouthed "You saw nothing"

Zack's first story reminds me so much of the one time drill sergeants were personable to me. I was on the live grenade qualification and I'm standing there waiting to get my 2 grenades and my main drill sergeant, drill sergeant Luke is sitting there with a box of live grenades. He pulls a can of dip out of his pocket, stuffs a wad into his lip, and hands it over to the other sergeant next to him. He looks up at me as the two of them are laughing their ass off at something and asks me "which drill instructor do you fear the most?" I have absolutely no idea what to answer because I do not want to say the wrong thing and tell them that. They laugh their ass off and ask again I tell them "drill sergeant Martinez, drill sergeant!" For context, Martinez was this short hispanic woman who weighed maybe 90 LBS and was maybe 5'1. She was as mean as could be, would get in your face, and you would feel like a 3 foot kid when she got that way. They looked at each other and about fell off their seats with laughter. "Every recruit we've asked has said that, how do you fear her and not me?" Luke asked. I just looked him in the eye and said "she's mean, sgt, I can look you in the eyes. Can't look her in the eye, I'm afraid I'll get bit." At this response, he about doubled over howling with laughter

It’s a miracle Fort Polk has had neither a mass mutiny or just fucking exploded for no real reason.

Oh my god, that "Kill him!!" Caught me off guard, couldn't stop laughing for the rest of the video. Especially that delivery of the story.

After the Crucible Reaper hike, my Senior Drill Instructor hazed the entire platoon so long he forgot what he was hazing us for. That was like 2 hours of hell.

Zach's nickname in the military wasn't Hazard because he was a danger to enemy. It was Hazard because he was a danger to himself.

Mike: **takes a wrong turn** Drill Sergeant: *_your free trial of life has expired_*

Soldier: **Steps out of line for half a second.** Drill Instructor: Kill him! Other drill instructor: Yes Sergeant War Crime!

Mike: *steps out of line* DI: *”Take him to Detroit...”*

My grandpa was a marine. Never new crayons still tasted good in the 60s

"Oh no you got a butt concussion too?!?" I'm dead XD and coffee is everywhere now

*Mike marches out of formation* Drill Instructor: "If you will not serve in combat, then you will serve on the firing line"

When Mike say they scream "Kill him", It reminds me about the comissar in WH40K

I love that Mike's drill instructor just pointed at him and like some noble in the hunger games gave the execution order ....

Remembering my CCs at Cape May. One of them was a veritable neutron star of a man, just this tiny, highly condensed form of matter and pure, hateful energy. Apparently I'd made the mistake of having the loudest soundoff on base, so he made me get into a screaming match with a recruit from another company whilst at chow.

Man I was JUST watching the old campfire stories, thinking to myself "man we haven't had one of these in a while"

I want to know Zach's thoughts on the accident at Fort Polk, when the mess hall accidentally promised Chocolate Milf for lunch and it caused a huge riot

I went to Devil Pups when I was 17, and did the whole “jump on a grenade” thing myself. The Marines who were there in charge of us, just basically said what I did was stupid and if I had time to jump on it I had time to grab it and toss it. Made me run with two ammo cans with rocks to make up for dying.

A Gun Rants and a Campfire Stories in the same week? It must be Christmas!

I had one of those Stress ball grenades, it had a "Pin" you could pull with a string and it would vibrate.

By far my second favourite series before zachs gun rants

You're laughing. His body forgot how to do things on its own, and you're laughing. yeah I laughed too

That's probably the nicest drill sergeant story I heard

"KILL HIM." I laughed out loud.

2:37 "Were there any times drill sergeants were personable to you?" he asked the MARINE.

Dude second concussion syndrome can literally kill you. It's happened to some fighters who get knocked in sparring and don't realise then die in the ring/cage from a second hit. Glad you're still around to tell us about boomsticks tho

11:30 You gave me hope on keeping mosquitos away from me, and then crushed that hope.

Private Zach: fucking falls over Soldier: How many fingers am I holding up? Private Zach: Two? Soldier: Close enough, take this gold star sticker and have a good day.

You gotta love these campfire stories~ Its just simultaniously a fun and wholesome thing and also a wild ride

oh yes, typical military doctrine of: "jump on the grenade, don't use your brain... just do what we say."

That first one, I love it. Seeing past the rabid dog act they do to train their recruits to who they actually are. Refreshing.

I can imagine the DI's screaming like the creatures from the body snatchers and having the other DI's running you down to rip you a new one

I really liked how the DI was calm about the whole grenade thing, you know when he didn't have to SCREAM. That's a good leader!

My head drill sergeant on the last day of Army boot, about to get that week before going to my duty station called me and my parents into his office. My DS looked them both in the eye and told them they had raised a good kid no matter what shit they put me thru I had done everything I could. He then turned to me and handed his Leatherman, and told me he was retiring after that training cycle and he was proud to have helped train me. My dad had been a Marine DI and I think that was one of the few times I've seen him cry in public.

I can't imagine that Sargeant's door being sound-proof so everyone outside probably heard him switching between yelling and talking.

“How many fingers am I holding up” “Two” “Close enough” lmaooo

3:50 isn't that really just 2 minutes of push-ups and 28 minutes desperately struggling without much of anything happening.

Campfire stories are the reason I subbed

Really digging this scenery. Poorly fitting assets from Stalker notwithstanding, Frontier has some incredibly atmospheric vistas and locations.

Man after the last few weeks ive had, your videos as of late have been a massive help. I always come back to your campfire stories when I just need something relaxing. Thanks guys for putting stuff like this out and being a pair of awesome people.

Hey Zach! You were in Fort Polk, but did you know that during WW2, there was a military railroad between Polk and Claiborne used to train USATC troops?

You should do a campfire story on nicknames you've gotten in the military.

"KILL HIM" that line is gold

The last time I was this early my wife filed for divorce

God Mike's drill instructor story made me imagine his Nice DI just having the other ones on leashes like dogs before releasing the hounds

During one of our FTXs in BCT (winter 2012), an arti-sim detonated roughly 2 meters in front of my face. I was blinded for about 30 seconds and my ears rang for roughly a full minute. Now I tense up or get easily startled by unexpected flashes of light and sudden sounds.

Danm the ones with the drill sergeants is hilarious.

trying to teach your body how to breath is a scary thing the first time it happens.

I am so excited when these come out.

Zach in power armor!?!? Hush my distempered breath!

When Zach did the little wheezing inhale noises during the third concussion story I was cry laughing so hard that I was wheezing along with him

I swear these campfire stories are one of the greatest things I've found on RU-vid. I love your guys' stories.

I love all these stories, gives me somethin to listen to whilst I play games or somethin

"and then i had to re-train my body to breathe" I completely understand that feeling, i fell about a story on to grass and concrete and it knocked the ability of breathing passively out of me for about a minute. Its terrifying, every muscle in your body hurts like you have the flu but you cant breath through it. Basically what happens when you fall far enough to stop the passive breathing is the part of they body that runs passive processes is knocked around a bit and need time to restart and you are forced to manually breathe, thankfully the lungs are a muscle you can control for the most part

A drill sergeants that was chill behind closed to doors is hilarious

Glad to see more of these being uploaded, hearing about your lives and the weird experiences you both have been through just makes my day. Easily the best content on this channel.

i cant get enough of your military shenanigans. I swear to god before people enlist they should listen to at least one campfire story.

You know before listening to all these stories I wanted to join the Army, no I don't wanna.

"the mosquitos are the size of c130s in Louisiana" so you could say. "ENEMY AC130 ABOVE". I had to

how nice of this to come out shortly after I faceplant into a snowbank at 20 MPH and wonder if I had a concussion. Now I know what it's like! Wear a helmet, kids.

11:40 I've never heard Zach sound so aggressive.

Honey wake up, Mike uploaded a new campfire stories

I don't think I've clicked faster on a video

i love the drill sargeant stories where you feel like you're about to get an earful and then it's just "look, dont do that anymore." and they just tell you to act like you got yelled at

Every single mikeburnfire video/campfire story makes me regret not joining the military, while at the same time making me _so fucking_ glad I didn’t join the military.

Honestly, that drill sergeant from the first story sounded like a real one

Ngl I use your campfire stories Playlist to fall asleep. The conversations between you two is honestly soothing

Sweet baby Jaceus! This is exactly what I asked for! Thank you, Mike!

Zach's laugh brings me joy

I kinda miss the old outro song, non-stop was the title of it I think

My Drill Sergeant had a stress ball too... His name was Private Bayne. Bayne's upper body strength was phenomenal by the end of Basic

Up where I live we get these mosquitoes that are rather large as well and everyone calls them B52's lol

I'd like to make a request to all you aspiring modders: please make a New Vegas radio station, but it just plays Zach and Mike's campfire stories. Call it something like "Tales from the NCR" and all it is is Mike and Zach shooting the breeze.

Yay I love these stories and I'm happy there's another one.

Thanks Grandpa Zach Thanks Grandpa Mike I always love your barrelfire stories.

As a kid I got a concussion on one of those playground merry-go-rounds that you spin by hand. We had these two huge kids with us, each of them must have weighed 200+ pounds of mostly just muscle and we all got on and had them spin us as hard as they could, see who was the last man standing. That wound up being me, but when they tried to stop it it was going so fucking fast I was just thrown about fifteen feet into the dirt and cracked my head. Apparently when they came over to me I wasn't breathing, then the instant someone poked me I woke up and just started maniacally laughing. I remember having zero control over it, I was just laughing like the goddamn Joker with this big ol' knot on my head, and even while the adults were brought over to check on me I just kept laughing for about thirty minutes straight before the nausea finally got me to puke and shut up.

At least in Canada our helmets we use for vehicles are different than the ones for infantry, we use them mainly for our leopards 2's and coyotes and it helps not having your brains bashed in, this is coming from someone with five concussions so, yeah...

The walking out of line story reminded me of the tutorial in CoD2 where you get killed if you don't follow instructions or take too long with the Commissar yelling "Kill the traitor!"

Finally, I've been waiting for some more stories from you guys

I love these guys I’d gotten so bored at work I’ll throw in my earbuds and just listen to them to pass the time

As always, their delivery is PRICELESS.

I seriously love the campfire stories. I've watched them dozens of times and while im on the road (truck driver) I'll have your campfire stories just playing. Always makes me laugh

I had a severe concussion from a car accident when I was 16 (rear ended, not my fault). I dont think ive ever been the same since, and it was 6 months of absolute hell. Wanna play video games or read or even think? Get ready for a wild headache! You have a choice of either your head hurting so bad you want to die, or being so bored you want to die. Light hurts your eyes and head, dizziness is constant, you want to do nothing but sleep, you feel somewhat dissociated, hearing and vision gets weird sometimes, etc. My eyes still dont track properly, I have to mention that if I ever get a Sobriety Test from police.

Making hamburger helper incorrectly whilst watching this

Man I absolutely love your guys's campfire stories

I always love hearing these stories

Always really enjoy these videos :) Thanks for sharing

I love the videos guys, keep up the great work Zach and Mike.