@EricTheBaldSlaveDog Eh, the camera adds 10 lbs. It's a constant fight between the liqour stifling his metabolism, and the blo stifling his appetite. But he's fucking fantastic. I'd go see him for sure if he came to Chicago.
I almost believed him when he said "Joe Rogan's comedy club, I'm gonna be ther opening night, here's the lineup...." and then he said Patrice O'neal, Robin williams.... I was like god damn it tim! I can never tell if you're kidding because you deliver everything so deadpan.
I remember as a child in the pre innanet age, wishing, with tears in my eyes, that there would soon be a way that the celebrity prostitutes and nameless extras from the tv shows I watched could lecture me about any day's geopolitical, philosophical and medical industrial issues and problems. Rejoice at our modern wonders, frenz
idk if it's in this clip, I'm still watching it, but I fucking LOVE the moment when Tim is like "at a certain point we're going to be unsafe here." Talks about how he was asleep the prior night and woke up wondering if he was in physical danger from all the shit he has been talking about Austin LMAO
Tim is at his best when he feels like he is being slighted by the world; when Tim has tons of money and just does episodes with other rich famous people it's just whatever; best episodes are when he just feels like the world is trying to fuck him over and he just goes off
Tim Dillon was born a beautiful swan. Tim Dillon has a Certificate of Completion for sitting down. Tim Dillon told an old man it was a good idea to tattoo his phone number on his arm. Tim Dillon was rubbing two sticks together to start a fire and ended up crashing his car in the Wendy’s drive thru.Tim Dillon has fantasies of being an Adult Baby. Tim Dillon couldn’t stop lecturing other Mimes and was kicked out of the school. Tim Dillon and Kurt Metzger constantly argue over who has the Best Buzz. Tim Dillon and Kurt Metzger argue over Who Wore It Best. Tim Dillon told Kurt Metzger he doesn't have charisma or charm. Tim Dillon told Kurt Metzger it’s OK to steal material if you are hammered. Tim Dillon got into a screaming match playing Uno with 5-year old's. Tim Dillon still laughs very hard when he hears Girl Scout Cookies or Moby Dick. Tim Dillon has a guy whose only job is to make a new belt hole. Tim Dillon makes a conscious effort every day to look and behave that way. Tim Dillon is really Colin Farrell in a fat suit. PRANKED.
Christ! I was drinking milk when I heard "do you think that other scumbag will be there? The part time wrestler?!" It's on my refrigerator door, my shirt...
As someone who grew up in a household with 4 kids and now older with multiple sisters having multiple kids there’s no kitchen that clean haha what a joke
Tim Dillon got into a fist fight because he wanted to take all the pennies. Tim Dillon got into a screaming match in Starbucks because he confused a latte and a cappuccino. Tim Dillon was voted Most Likely in High School. Tim Dillon once had an 8-minute therapy session. Tim Dillon will tell you with tears in his eyes that the 3rd grade was his best year. Tim Dillon misunderstood Breakfast Bar. Tim Dillon has enough empty plastic vodka bottles under his bed to make a raft to sail the eastern seaboard. Tim Dillon is convinced that he coulda been a great Ballerina. Tim Dillon was rejected by the military because of his personality. Tim Dillon has a strange obsession with hairless cats. Tim Dillon didn't know there were 2 kinds of scat. Tim Dillon came out of a Blackout screaming at three Nuns he thought were the Penguins who borrowed his car.
There’s a lot of projecting going on here. “Jared has to stop from googling himself” sounds like Tim’s a little hurt nobody is making articles about him in Texas 😂
