Stop thinking man, merge into existence. Just go along and focus. You’re stuck in circles of thoughts, and you end up doing nothing. Self-help is a front.
yo brother I think what you grew out of was just gooning and being terminally online try to do stuff that makes you ingrained in a community, like go do sports thats how most friendships are made in school anyway or do online meetups in ur area if thats ur thing try not to think about the past and in the position u were