Tips for AuDHDers: how to manage your autism & ADHD 

That made me laugh out loud: “Yes, I do plan my spontaneity!” ADHD and ASD explained in one sentence.

As a fellow being that has fallen in this range of the spectrum, it's been a relief finding so many people across the world that have had these shared experiences. Suspected for "both" in 2009 diagnosed ADHD then, ASD last year, but lacked the self awareness and knowledge of the conditions other than the stereotypes. So much time lost, autistic burnouts, wasted potential. Truly helps having these communities and stories and discussions shared.

Multiple things to say here: 1. YES, I went through autistic burnout and bore-out at the same time. It was horrible. All of my hobbies and things I loved were too much stimulation or I couldn't plan them in because my routine was severely disrupted, and I was so easily overstimulated that I could barely listen to music. But I was so understimulated that I couldn't start anything or do anything at all. I was sitting in my chair all day and just... existing. It was a special kind of hell. It happened to me right after I graduated, because suddenly, my routine was gone, and I had too much free time to spend, and it made me so overwhelmed, and the sensory issues kept me from getting stimulated enough to actually do something or plan something. 2. I think one of the hardest things is to manage the autistic side of me when I am medicated for my ADHD. I may have to go on a different kind of medication again to deal with this. I am taking Ritalin, and while it works for my ADHD quite well, helps me do things, even though I mostly hyperfixate, I am actually able to just get up and do things (crazy, right?). But... when the meds wear off, I get hit with such intense hypersensitivity that any noise, bright lights, whatever, becomes unbearable. I started having more meltdowns after starting my meds again just for this reason alone. It takes me HOURS to recover after my meds wear off. If you have any experience with this and/or coping strategies, feel free to share! 3. I feel very much as if sometimes, my autistic needs and my ADHD needs are like opposite sides of a magnet, and I either get pulled by one or the other. I very much need routines, but I also need spontaneity and novelty. I would love to see people and have fun, but the anxiety of being around others is draining. Once I tried to sew, and it was boring, so I was like "I will do a number of these parts, then take a break" but my autistic side was like "Well, every part has to have the same amount of steps, it has to be the same, but you can't divide them equally, so no" and to this day I have not continued with the project. 4. I feel as if a lot of us have internalized shame when it comes to asking for help with certain things. I feel as if I am not allowed to ask my mum to help me clean my room, because "I should be able to do it on my own" even though apparently I am very much not able to. It makes me scared to move out and live on my own, but also... I can't deal with having people living with me since I need alone time so much. It's tough to find someone to help because I do most things the same way, and if someone cleans my room differently, I kinda freak out inside of my mind. I feel as if to manage both autism and ADHD, one has to learn to walk a very fine line between "risking bore-out" and "risking autistic burnout". It is really exhausting because both ADHD and autism are spectrums, bot having BOTH means you gotta accomodate a whole new kind of traits that emerge. It's really difficult

Burn-out and bore-out at the same time? In my twenties I snuck out the back door in the middle of a hectic shift at work, drove home, and didn't get out of bed for a week. I had always referred to it as my "mini nervous breakdown" because I had no idea what the hell it was. For the first time, 30 years later, it makes sense. Thank you for that. Sincerely. I'm tearing-up as I type this. Thank you.

Appropriate rest/space/quiet/routine is so incredibly important but unfortunately way too many people think it means I am lazy/worse as I just do not want/need/fit into the endless ridiculousness of this world. Took me a long time to find the balance I need with part time work, but it just makes people jealous instead of them realizing the ridiculousness they are part of/tolerating because it's "normal"

An important way I’ve been able to show kindness to myself is taking 5 minutes when I get home from work to figure out what my body needs. I usually find it easiest for me to do in a low sensory environment (aka my closet with the lights off and no sound) I calm down a bit then I’m able to read the cues I missed like I haven’t had any water all day or my feet are freezing I need socks etc. I get my body what it needs before I go about the rest of my day and it’s been going a lot smoother

Oof that "I forget to listen to music, but it actually really helps" hit really hard! I feel constatly like I forget how much I like to listen to music?? As if music (as a concept) just vanishes for me every now and then. I guess the plus side is "re-discovering" old songs I loved? Lol. Definitely think I'm AuDHD, the days of "Au: feeling so overwhelmed I can't move or think clearly" Vs "ADHD: body feel of f--king DO SOMETHING!" are just the worst, still figuring out how to manage it tbh. But thank you so much for you channel, the mix of "oh this is very helpful" and "wow other people feel this, too?" is amazing, thank you!!

I find that burnout and boreout happen simultaneously a lot of the time for me because when I'm burnt out I feel unable to exercise, go out, meet friends and keep up with the things that I need to keep me stimulated.

"It's not gonna go away, that's just how your brain works" that's the hardest part to get my family to understand - and to accept for yourself I can MANAGE my adhd and stuff, but just because I was better at acting more normal for them they thought it was equal to my adhd not being present, or that the meds help suppress the adhd, instead of what they're actually doing: helping me manage it. This is never gonna go away, and I'm not sad about that, even though, yes, it frustrates me often that this is how I am - but I also wouldn't be me without it. That's the hardest part for other people to understand, that it's ALWAYS there, not just in certain situations, and that you can't "get over it" because it affects every part of your life, every day, every moment. I'm so lucky and grateful that I found friends who, even though they don't understand a lot of the things I do, still just roll with it and go along and respect it when I say I can't do certain things with them, or are willing to change plans to something I'm okay to do so we can still hang out Also, tho, "planned spontaneity" - yes, yes, absolutely - I pick times (sometimes a full day, but mostly a couple hours every day) where I know I can "go off the grid" without consequences and just kinda let my brain off the leash and follow every whim, impulse, or idea - it's incredibly stress-relieving

It’s because of your previous video on AuDHD that I went and got diagnosed for both. I knew about ADHD and was self diagnosed, but didn’t feel confident to get a formal diagnosis because it didn’t paint the whole picture for me and so I doubt my self diagnosis was completely correct. Until I watched your video, then boom! The whole picture was painted and I booked in right after watching the video lol 😆 I now have a formal diagnosis for AuDHD, so from the bottom of my heart, thank you 💕

I find working the overlaps helps appease both. Binging special interests helps both. Stimming to music helps both. Intense flavours help both. Getting enough sleep...you get the idea. ADHD meds help me focus on my ASD needs - wearing earplugs, slowing down and focusing and not being as sensory seeking (moving slower and doing things methodically), getting my house in order, that kind of thing.

I started exercising to help with depression, which may have actually been autistic burnout caused by moving 1400km to a new province. I find it helps the adhd a bit and definitely helped my mood so it had to continue.The autistic side now insists that the exercise must happen at a specific time of day and I get stressed out when I can't, unless I've had advance warning to make a new plan. It's seeing things like this that make me really understand how these 2 seemingly opposite conditions coexist.

I've DEFINITELY had burnout and boreout at the same time. I didn't realize this wasn't a universal experience until I mentioned it to a brother once; "You know when you're really tired and really energized at the same time? That's how I am right now." And he was just like... 🤨 "wut?"

I struggle with Time so much. I have realised that if I am in a room or out where there ar eno physical prompts around time, I have no clue how much time has passed. This leads to people noticing I take ages to do things such as going I to the bathroom etc. I seem to rely on remembering how long a certain journey takes, such as it takes twenty minutes to drive to work from my house, but then this does not allow any time for getting ready or anything like traffic or getting fuel etc. So I have always been either last minute or late my whole life for anything.

I am fantastically great at writing to do lists which I never do any of the things on. At this point I could probably classify them as fiction.

YES to listening to music or podcasts while doing boring things! Literally the only way I can finish household tasks 😅 Something I really struggle with as an auDHDer is the "all or nothing" mindset! So I'll make a list of tasks, but once I start (which can take forever to begin with) I get this manic "I can do ALL the things!" impulse. Then I end up burning myself out after completing about 3/4 of the tasks. But I still feel satisfaction that I completed some things... it's a constant game my brain plays with itself! 😆 I don't think I'll be able to stick to only 10 minutes of doing a task, but I'm going to download your checklist (thank you for making that btw!!) because we all have to start somewhere 😊

I didn't realise how self critical I was until I was reading a book trying to learning mindfulness (mindfulness, a practical guide to finding peace in a frantic world), and for the first time I realised there was a non-stop critical voice running through my head telling me all sorts of awful things about what I wazzock I was. I've still not quite achieved the ability to quiet my thoughts, but my son made me laugh the other day, he said 'each time that voice appears, remember it's your mother and nobody cares what she thinks'. I'll be 56 this year, only realised I might be autistic just before lockdown, and only realised I'm probably adhd as well when it was mentioned in a work OH appointment. Still waiting for an official diagnosis but the truth of the conflict is something my whole life has been about. Have been concentrating on appeasing the autistic side, but definitely need to pay attention to both, in a controlled manner.

I find the "bore out" and "burn out" thing happens to me after something mega, like not having a break from the kids all weekend or missing out on my Monday zone out day. It's like a feeling of extreme irritability and depression and guilt at the same time. It's awful. I find I can mostly get rid of it by putting on a TV show that is fairly mindless but has enough going on that I stay entertained (usually drag race) AND playing a fairly chill game alongside it, like a city builder. Neither requires much thought but does require some thought that my autism and ADHD are entertained. Autism is happy with the city builder, ADHD is happy with the city builder and the wonderful entertainment provided by drag race. ALSO! I have recently bought Sam's workbook and it's brilliant. Can't recommend it enough!

Combination burned out and bored out makes so much sense to my brain. The desire to do ALL the things mixed with significant overwhelm at the smallest tasks.

11:00 I have noticed that with work. if I am there alone, I am not very productive, but if there is someone else there I am more productive.

i've literally been on severe burnout for the past two/three weeks from my adhd and autism because of work, stress about my future (i'm only 18) and just not having any sort of regulation in my life because of my hyperfixations and getting distracted. i know this video will help, but i'm taking it one day at a time and one of my goals for this year is to not hold myself to NT standards and to work _with_ my neurodivergencies and not against them 😊

👍👍"The troll under the bridge in my brain", I love that 😊👌

This is basically 100% me! I thought I was alone! I'm not fully diagnosed yet so this is really reassuring I'm not just 'a failure', thank you so much 💕

At 39 years old, I’ve only recently come to the realization that I am on the spectrum. I’ve done more research on this, than anything ever haha The pandemic took me out of my restaurant job, that I was already suffering massive burnout from. It is 3 years later and I’m only now starting to come out of it…. Mainly since I have the words to describe my experience now. Channels like yours have helped sooo much in finding my own voice. 🥰

This resonates with me so much! I especially get having to navigate between burnout and bore-out. My life often feels like I'm walking on one of those rickety old hand-made bridges that are just wooden planks held together by rope that are featured in a lot of old movies, and I've got to tread very carefully so I don't fall through. I often feel overwhelmed and often feel bored. I feel like I've found a good balance between the two most of the time, but it's an everyday challenge to make sure I have a healthy level of stimulation. I've personally found that reading and video games are great ways to both prevent or recover from burnout but also to deal with boredom. Both activities provide me with a moderate amount of controlled stimulation that satisfy both my autism and ADHD.

Holy crap............... this describes my entire experience. And I JUST went through a long phase of burn-out and bore-out. I had no words to describe it at the time or even understand it! Thank you!

I can relate to so much of what you’re saying. It’s really lovely actually to know there are other AuDHDers out there battling two sides of their brains at once 😂

Thinking about ADHD bore-out and autistic burnout as something that can both happen at the same time has really helped me to understand my situation. Lately, I've been so stressed out and overwhelmed by my day-to-day life, mostly from work and social obligations, that I've just been too tired to really do much of anything and I've started isolating myself a lot (more than usual), which has lead to a feeling of under-stimulation and restlessness that I simply don't have the energy to fully address. I feel so helplessly trapped in my own mind that it is honestly suffocating, and it's hard not to feel like nothing more than a useless burden when even something as simply as basic everyday responsibilities becomes too much for me to handle. Thank you for putting out this video, it's super helpful to be reminded that I am not alone in these struggles and there are people out there that can help. Oh yeah, and that bit about alcohol... I can definitely relate to that, more than I'd like to admit.

Stress is my downfall. It kneecaps me. That is my biggest struggle in building a sustainable life. Thank you!

I got my ADHD diagnosis about a year ago but I find that strategies and even medication have not been enough. I’m now in the journey of getting a diagnosis for autism, which I feel so identified with when described in combination. Your channel has been a great source of new avenues to think about what I need and how to deal with, well, life. Thank you so much for your work!! It means a lot specially for people in countries/cultures where neurodiversity is stigmatized and not well understood even by mental health providers.

Those earrings, though. Did anyone else notice the reflection of the sparkly curtain in her earrings??

10:56 - moral support is super underrated. Just having someone sit there with me makes me feel like i'm not alone, and that i have backup. My biggest fear has always been "the unknown" and the future is the biggest unknown thing. So it doesnt matter how well planned something is, or how innocuous.... I get anxiety (not bad, but still there) just pulling up to a drivethru and ordering food because i worry that the person won't understand what i'm ordering or that it will be wrong, or that i'll upset them in some way. It took me a long time to realize that most people don't actually care about those little interactions and that I needed to just remember that other people just want to finish the task at hand, and won't think about the transaction afterward. (Unlike me who will sometimes fret over an interaction that i had days or months or years ago).

Just washed dishes in an extremely brainfoggedstate due to a cold and burnout and bore out… just watching videos like yours helps me start and struggle through these painful tasks. Thanks.

Praise be to hearing the term: 'Bore Out' yesssss! Autistic/ADHD here. How we communicate those varied needs is a massive challenge at the moment

Finding a job that balance's both sides is also very useful. you spend so much time at work that if that's good, the rest of your life becomes more bearable. For example I'm a theatre nurse, the narrow focus and quietness suits my autism side but it has just enough novelty and excitement to keep the adhd side happy.

The combo for me is autism, Adhd and auditory processing disorder which can be difficult to manage, but thanks for your videos.

Someone with both diagnoses here. It's been difficult coming to my own list of 'best practice's. I can't help but wonder if this should be a real diagnosis and given how fast the DSM can totally flip their views as new research comes in, it could happen if people who deal with it make their selves heard. Thank you for doing your bit on that front. Damage has been done by giving people diagnoses that may be contradicting the other undiagnosed thing. I try to be self compassionate if I react differently to some other people with my diagnosis. When your perspective, the ONE perspective you've ever been given access to as a human being, is not understood, sometimes that's all you can do.

This is one of the best videos yet. Thank you for it! One might go back to therapy if one could find a therapist who gets this stuff! God knows, this is a real struggle! You are helping!

I don’t know if I’m AuDHD (I am diagnosed with ADHD) but I relate heavily to everything, and find this (and other videos you’ve made) very helpful. Thank you so much! ❤

For me I think the autistic burnout overwhelms everything else including the ADHD. It all gets put on the back burner. Nothing that would usually motivate me and feed the ADHD beast even exists. It's like the brain shuts all drive down in an attempt to cope and come back to level ground. At this stage I become incredibly inward focused. This happens during both meltdown and burnout. As the brain comes around, and the ADHD motor starts running again, I go back to the diverse brain food that makes life so fun. How long I stay in that state will depend on whether it is burnout or just meltdown.

I like the advice of using music to pump you up and focus you because I find doing work is a lot easier when I can stim while listening to music in... Too many different ways to list. Just be sure to accommodate people you're working with/near by making sure you can both hear one another.

Thank you for this video! Once when I first realized I might be autistic I tried to look up tips and tricks. I ended up with links about how to "deal" with neuro-divergent folks instead. It was disheartening at the time so I appreciate this vid!

So happy to listen to your wise insights! Very helpful as I was just diagnosed with autism & adhd a month ago.🦄 Thanks Sam!

The blooper reel was just what I needed today! Actually the whole video. I seem to have moved into the dark, pathologizing language part of my ADHD assessment, so it meant so much to see a kind face. The content was very helpful too, but just your being there and being you made me feel like the world is not so horrible and lonely. Thank you for all you do, Sam.

This is so interesting. I’m autistic and I just recently started thinking I might also have ADHD. I’ve gone through a lot of burnouts, but I didn’t realize there’s also a name for bore outs! I totally experienced that during semester breaks in school. I would feel sort of depressed but also kind of itchy like I needed to move and do things. I would start rearranging the furniture and furiously cleaning the entire house. I don’t really get that nowadays because I am too tired to do any of that stuff 😂 but managing my day to day life is a huge struggle, I’m constantly forgetting appointments. I have this constant sense of oh my god I have so much stuff to do. Even if it’s just two or three things. But like, I do the things and then more things need to be done. I can never keep on top of it 😭

I wish I knew these things 30 years ago, thank you so much for educating the world.

9:07 "i always forget to listen to music but when i do it makes me feel good" literally captured my entire essence!! on my 45min commute to work i will be so caught up in my own thoughts that by the time i park i realize - oh i just rode the entire way in silence 😅 10:57 oh my god and the body doubling too!! i HATE doing laundry so much that i would rather clean the bathroom or do dishes, but if i have someone there with me as i fold and put it away, then i can do it no problem! often times my boyfriend and i will both fold our own laundry together side by side and it really helps me! 15:30 this is similar to another thing my boyfriend and i implemented in our household! we call it our "15 minute chore". basically set a timer for 15 mins and just spend that time doing any daily cleaning you see that needs to be done. we had a whiteboard in the kitchen that we would update and write what chore(s) we did for 15 min that day! (we had extremely different work schedules, so we would do our chores at different times) this really kept us accountable and with each of us doing just 15 minutes (combined 30 mins!!) every day helped us SO much! no more overflowing trash or mountain of dishes due to being busy and feeling overwhelmed. especially with me since i have an "all or nothing" mindset where i feel the need to complete everything all at once, which just thinking about that would stress me out to the point of needing to lay down and then i can't even do anything. so just making a rule of strictly 15 mins really really helped me!

Thanks Sam for those great ideas I really need to put more time into going easier on myself. I used to meditate a lot. But with how hectic life has been for me in the past few years with work I had forgotten to make time for myself and to help myself. So you reminded me on that and that I need to just take a step back to nurture myself in a easy way that doesn’t make me feel overwhelmed.

Thank you so much for this video! I have gotten so much criticism from friends and family who say that I’m either being lazy or bougie for hiring a housekeeper, but it makes such a huge difference for me! They can clean my whole house in two hours whereas I might get bogged down in cleaning just my desk for two hours because I have to go through so many steps, in a specific order to do it, and might get distracted going down memory lane with the things I find in my drawer-which I will then want to take pictures of and send to my friends to go down memory lane with me…. Plus, I’m most productive between 3am and 7am, but now that I have a kid, I can’t make noise at odd hours or stay up that late and still be awake for them after they wake up. It costs me too much in my own time-and mental and emotional energy-to clean my own house. I’m less stressed and more likely to eat dinner regularly, if I pay someone else to do it.

Keeping it brief because I'm actually having an autistic burn-out this weekend while still trying to prevent a "bore-out". But I remember how both at the same worked for me. At the beginning of the pandemic I was in a literal burnout for unrelated reasons (mostly due to moving). Not in the mood to do anything, not even things I liked, because I just didn't have the energy for it. So I became very under-stimulated to the point of quite literally shutting down. I functioned like a PC that you left on while doing nothing with it, eventually it just goes into sleep mode. But I can assure you, I certainly didn't feel like I was waking up from a nice nap afterwards. Which brings me back to now, just trying to some little things at a slow pace. Moving that mouse a little bit to keep the PC awake but no heavy gaming or it might overheat. (I'm very used in using computers as imagery if that wasn't obvious)

"I always forget to listen to music but when I do it makes me feel good." This hits so hard. Some months ago I've listened to music after a long time. But not just any music but songs I've loved many years ago. I was laying in my bed and cried because I've missed that so much. I'm also constantly thinking about what planning system would work best for me. Currently I'm using a modified version of the Bullet Journal. Mainly I'm using a small ring binder so I can rearrange the sheets and make use of registers to put everything in groups. At first it was super exciting but now I don't want to make the monthly sheets anymore 😅

Recently I’ve been watching Netflix/RU-vid when I really don’t feel like taking a shower or when I do the dishes. This helps sooo much and I don’t associate either as being « bad » as much and sometimes find myself not needing to watch something.

You mentioned the Sweepy app a year ago and that's been a game changer when it comes to cleaning the house and staying on top of household tasks.

I have finally figured out that with my routines, I still need to get everything done, but I do it in different order everytime. like you’re saying, I also add some fun things to keep me engaged with my routines:)

yeah, I've been there, having a burn out and a bore out at the same time. I think many times in my life, which explains all the wrong diagnosis of bipolar and such, but more aware of it all know I went through exactly that just some months ago. For a couple months in a burnout going through waves of depression, feeling desperately needing to do something, see a friend, dance, whatever, but everytime I tried I was overwhelmed immediately, and knowing that it was "silly" to be so overwhelmed for things that were obvious part of what I wanted/needed to do, but not really finding a way around it.... so I just did the bits that I could, and retreated, I also self medicated a bit on ocasions, but way less than I used to and way more aware of what I was doing with it (cuz yeah, much like you I went through it all most of my life without knowing why I was like I was.... I identify with most of what you say in your videos, it's almost scary, hahah - so btw, thank you so much for what you do -, and yeah, I did use alcohol way to often and from a young age to cope), while trying to find my way back to balance yet again. I think a huge part in achieving that balance is finding the right friends that would get you and let you be, whatever "you" could do and is at that moment. Not upset or pressuring for me to be more "fun", social or whatever, or for me dissapearing whenever I have to and for as long as I need to. Good friends are gold.

14:00 Yes, I use a combination of electronic and paper: A pretty but streamlined desk blotter calendar hung on the wall for at-a-glance overview of my month, and my phone's google calendar for auditory reminders to prep and leave for appointments. Several times a year I have to resist the urge to buy a planner, but they never work well for me, just waste a lot of time with upkeep. For me, planners are an excuse to excessively "plan," instead of doing or living. Then I close them and either forget or constantly dig them out and recheck and cross reference everything. But with a wall calendar, I can walk over or glance up, see my (2 or 3! 😅) Big things for the day, and not get derailed.

I'm currently in a bore out and burnout so relatable. Overwhelmed and underwhelmed statement is so like yaaaaaaaasssssss .

I've recently found your channel and I've learned so much! My 7yr old son has ASD and ADHD (combined type). I'm trying to learn more about what it is like for him and how to better support him. Thank you so much for sharing your story and things that have helped you! 💗💗

I've only recently been diagnosed as autistic but believe I'm also ADHD and probably a few others too. You asked if anyone thinks they have been burnt out at the same time as bored out. This resonated and I would definitely yes. I have been in a ground hog day situation with autistic burn out for 10+ years and this is in part due to not having a diagnosis but also because I go too hard too fast to deal with my ADHD needs. I still have no idea how to stay out of burn out but I am outsourcing and asking for help now that I at least understand what's going on. Thanks for your videos. They are all so helpful

Dual burn out and bore-out! I never thought of it that way. At work I had a really demanding project that I spent about a year focusing on, then that deliverable went live, and i dropped that project (and everything else) like they were suddenly granite slabs. This was two years ago, and I'm only feeling now that I am recovering to a more sustainable approach to working. Thank you so much for explaining these concepts, it means the world to feel like things I experience have words and descriptions.

My most recent case of Bore-out and Burn-out came after I got food poisoning and ran out of my medication. I was exhausted and overwhelmed and struggling to manage my body while at the same time I had been doing nothing but being sick for days and my craving for novel things was so high that even watching RU-vid, or scrolling through social media was boring because it didn't feel new enough.

This is so relatable. I am diagnosed autistic and self diagnosed ADHD. My hubby is also AuDHD and we work well together in helping each other as well.

Currently (I think) going through a burnout and really struggling.. but this video is so helpful - all of your videos are so bang on with everything and I’ve sent them to friends and family and it’s helped them understand my autism and adhd as well.. Thankyou!!

Yes! I’ve experienced burnout and boredom simultaneously , which apparently to a therapist, looks a lot like what people with BPD experience in terms of the feeling of emptiness (feeling extremely overwhelmed yet wanting to do stuff)

Outsourcing is great, really. In theory. Gosh, how I do agree though. I'm crying on the inside 'cause, while I see clearly I need help so badly in certain areas, and I'm more than willing to actually outsource, but... My main issue is the things like the process of outsourcing itself, the seeking and finding the right person. I'm so tired now, after making bad choices in the past, and disappointed in the people I thought I can trust. I just don't know anymore where to search

Super long comment ahead! I'm a writer~📚 I've recently suspected having Autism Spectrum Disorder, and I also now believe I may have ADHD along with it. I never thought I had these things due to meeting people who were one or the other and not relating to them all that much. 😅 Before, I thought ADHD was all about being very hyper and not being able to focus. While I've always been rather talkative (depending on the situation), I can focus well enough (if I'm interested or see an essential need, at least). If anything, I could hyperfocus - so I ignorantly saw ADHD as impossible for me. With autism, I thought it was mainly about having a learning disability, inability to handle sensory stimuli or change at all, and being very socially awkward. I ignorantly defined it by the extremes alone. I didn't consider the variation in meltdowns, how they can be different depending on the person on the spectrum. I've been learning a lot these past few months, and coming across your channel has been yet another enlightening experience. 🙏🏻 I'm 26, and I'm a freshman in college (started late, didn't want to go until I was sure of what I wanted to do). I'm also a single mom to a son who turns 4 today! 🎉 I've gone through a lot of trauma all throughout my life. I was diagnosed Bipolar Disorder when I was in elementary school, then Moderate Depressive Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder in middle school. Come early high school, I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder again. Once I reached my senior year, it went back to the other diagnoses. Upon graduating, I was also diagnosed with PTSD. Trauma therapy worked well with me, more than any of my other therapies did. Another thing to note is that the medications I was put on throughout my entire life never worked on me, which is apparently common with those who are autistic rather than having the other disorders. In my earlier twenties, my psychiatrist suspected I had Borderline Personality Disorder. I wasn't officially diagnosed, but I was put into a combo of DBT/CBT with a psychologist as treatment. The DBT part was TRANSFORMATIVE for me, and after just 3 months I was improving vastly. I was actually declared "too stable" to continue my treatment (free therapy works like that where I live; must have need to qualify). This wouldn't happen so fast with someone who actually had BPD, so I wasn't diagnosed with it in the end. Now, as I've entered my mid twenties, I have been diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and PTSD. I needed to be institutionalized last November due to a mental health crisis, the scariest one I've had yet. It happened shortly after beginning college and when my sister, her husband, and their 4 kids moved in with me and my parents (haven't been able to hold a job for a while; I have physical ailments, too). Not to mention, many of my family members don't believe mental health is real. I've been judged, condemned, and misunderstood my whole life. "Lazy, dramatic, ungrateful, overly sensitive," and more. It still happens today. The father of my child is the reason I'm physically disabled now, and he's rather malicious - but in a very subtle, cunning way. The kind of person that evokes an emotional response and then paints you as the crazy one. I've had to learn how to be a stone with him, which is INCREDIBLY stressful. Sadly, I believe the depression and anxiety ring true now - I've found a medication that has indeed worked (no more suicidal ideation). Though, the PTSD is much less prevalent in my life. Upon learning about ASD/ADHD, it makes sense to me why I'm still having these depressive symptoms and anxiety despite the medications. It's because I lack routine and order, yet I desperately crave it. I'm a gifted student and don't struggle with learning (4.0 GPA still going so far), but I do struggle with procrastination, overwhelm, and burnout. Sometimes, I'll get bored because things are easy and/or repetitive. But the overwhelm also kicks in with having so much I need to do and too much going on around me that I will completely freeze. It's so frustrating. It's like my mind goes blank and shuts down entirely, and this has been getting worse as I continue with my college classes. I've learned that I've masked my whole life; I was a social chameleon. I got such anxiety in school because I couldn't handle the sensory stimuli. I heard it's also common for women with autism to struggle with eating disorders at a young age, which I did beginning in middle school. I never felt like I fit in. People would call me rude or disrespectful when I genuinely thought I was being polite. I was always "too much" or "not enough" for others. Jokes still go over my head because I take everything so literally. I also learned I didn't start speaking until I was 1 and a half (very late, which I read is common with autistic children). I've always had obsessive interests, but they'd change and vary through time. Anime/manga, personality types (Jung psychology, etc), drawing/sketching, writing, reading, certain shows/movies or celebrities, certain types of items (rocks, shells, leaves, flowers, etc), learning how to do make up and cut hair, etc. I always considered myself a collector of hobbies - addicted to learning new things. Always loved being alone, but hated not having someone to talk to when I felt the need to vent or share. I've always gone back and forth, my whole life. It all makes sense now! Jesus. Even with the way I sleep, like the t-rex arms, rubbing my feet together like crickets, rocking myself or shaking my leg. The finger tapping, fidgeting, tapping my ear, or (here's a weird one) sucking on my hair when I was a kid. Seriously, what's up with that? Also, was anyone else afraid of the sound of a flushing toilet or vaccuum cleaner? Because I was. It terrified me as a kid. 🤣 The sounds of loud cars or motorcycles are painful to my ears, or the feedback on a microphone. Too many people talking to me at once will make me want to scream. God forbid multiple people trying to give me directions - I'll straight up tell them to stfu. 💯 It's amazing to me how I wasn't diagnosed sooner. I plan to get officially diagnosed in the future. I want to go back into DBT, and I want to better manage my life. I've always said the one thing I was missing is routine, and if I had that? I'd be superwoman. But I struggle SO DAMN MUCH with consistency and motivation. I always feel so fatigued, tired, and apathetic. Overwhelmed, empty, and just.. blank. And then, boom - a crying fit out of nowhere, smacking my hands on my head or pulling at my hair. What would soothe me is pressing my forehead against a cool wall. Seriously, how did I not know I was Autistic sooner? Or that I likely have ADHD? I can't wait for more research to come out to help people like us. Then, we'd be able to understand ourselves from the start rather than grow up believing we're defective and spend years in therapy trying to unlearn that. We're not defective. We're just different - and that's okay! 💐

I am now currently going through both ADHD & Autistic burnout, thank you for encapsulating that for me 🙏 I know I am not alone

The problem with executive function with dual diagnosis, is that once you get something to work, your ADHD says “I’m Bored!!!!” Let’s quit what we were doing now and makes everything a mess. Maybe because a dopamine hit of being in a stressful situation and overcoming it. I do the dishes in the morning before I start to work and plan my day. It is now ingrained that I have to do it or feel lost. My new obsessive thing right now, is the stoic philosophers. So, I read a book called the Daily Stoic, and journal on it. I try also, and hope it will work with my impulsive emotional regulation, and my mouth when someone confronts me and gets in my space.

Thank you! I’m 21 and just found out I’m on the spectrum but I’ve known that I had add (adhd) for years and got diagnosed with anxiety freshman year of college and it’s nice to have clarity but it’s so scary so thank you for having this video ❤❤❤

(31, suspected both audhd) I think... I have experienced the double whammy burn-out/bore-out combo. I don't remember what has triggered it in the past, only my coping mechanisms for it. For my fellow video game lovers, those times when you feel numb to everything around you and you just pick up a game to do the most menial grind for hours and hours on end. As a kid for me it was levelling Pokemon, as an adult it's silly little MMO grinds like FATE grinds in FFXIV. They're low enough on mental engagement that the autism side is comforted in it's burn-out, but stimulating enough that the adhd side is also comforted in it's bore-out.

Thanks for your terrific content, Sam! I've learned a lot from your videos.

Love the Sunday reset! Thank you.

An interesting thought is that simultaneously with autistic burnout, under stimulated ADHD can aggravate the situation. It explains quite well why ADHD becomes a significant problem in a burnt-out state, even if it does not interfere significantly in my normal state (when I don't notice my ADHD, or at least can keep it under control if noticed).

Thank you for the tips, Sam! I feel better already 💖 I’d like more parenting with AuDHD content as well!

Yes I've had both at the same time. I'm still in a bit of a burn out period, but I definitely have to fulfill my adhd needs. Wow this all just makes so much sense again. Thank you.

All of your experience is highly relatable. Such a helpful and validating video to watch, thank you!! I used to go out raving a lot in my 20s, and relied on recreational drugs to cope sensorially and socially. Now I mostly listen to rave music using headphones when I work or chill rabbit holing. Helps with focus, motivation and executive function. ✌🏼

Ahh thank you! I relate to all of this. I haven't had a way to conceptualize the "bore out" before

I have been recently diagnosed with ADHD and Autism. Your videos are really relatable and helpful!

Thanks for videos! They are very cool and i resonate with them. I love your accent btw too!!

So affirming Sam 🙏🏼 We’re all individuals and different but you have captured the essence eloquently here… The Boreout / burnout cycle is my entire life.. The chaos it’s caused is immeasurable but now armed with a diagnosis at 52 and the brilliant help of peers like you gives me hope and optimism for the future 😊🙏🏼🙏🏼

I just received your workbook in the mail, and am looking forward to diving into it! My consultation is scheduled for the end of the month.

first of all, thank you Ana por nos oferecer conteúdo em PT-BR de qualidade sobre o assunto, traduzindo os conteúdos da Sam, tanto aqui nas traduções quanto para o livro. Sam, my Godmother of all things neurodivergent, thank you again for open up, again, the possibilities for me. Your videos continue to inspire me to take better care of myself and to be more compassionate towards myself. I am getting so much more from life, since I am learning to respect myself and letting go all the internalized ableism. Feel the love from Brazil and all my gratitude

Just ordered your workbook. Diagnosed adhd, seriously thinking I'm autistic too, and took 3 self tests that said "hell yeah you are". So hoping the book will help keep gather all my random thoughts when I talk to my shrink next.

Thank you so so so so much. We really need wisdom shared from the nd community 🙏 sharing your experience makes us feel seen & heard, finally! I am so grateful for your work!!

I like your humour, your insights are always interesting and your advice has been very helpful to me a few times already. Please keep doing what you‘re doing :)

Sam. Once again, thank you.

The times I could stay on top of things best were due to having a checklist but this makes me realize why I resist getting back to using a checklist

Wow! This is me!! I'm in a really awful place! And, I don't know how to execute any of this! What now? I'm newly audhd diagnosed, well a few years, in my 40s. This on top of bpd, mdd, GAD, sad, ptsd... God it's often an awful existence. Help. Oh! And, very recently diagnosed w hypothyroidism. I feel too weak and too broken. OH! And, I love the bloopers at the end! Great touch!

this is the most helpful and hopeful audhd (love that abreviation!) video/tips/help/validation/empathy/therapyunderstanding ive come across, please create more life skills content. love the term boreout im in the midst of burnout/boreout today! i feel seen, i exist and im struggling with something real :) I have both dianosis via nhs

Thank you for the video Sam, I always learn something about myself, it really hits home when you say to take care of your autistic self. I'm trying to do that now, very best, j

Thank you! I’ve been to the gp and been referred for ADHD but since finding your original video on having both it made me really think. I have never associated myself with being autistic but I definitely have some traits, I didn’t realise that having both can appear to even you out while causing an internal nightmare.

So grateful for this, thank you. 🎶💙🦋

Thankyou, ive had a bad couple of bad weeks and youve really helped.

Thank you. You make me feel so validated. This video is so helpful, and I know it wasn't meant to be a tear jerker, but a lot of emotions came up for me. I especially felt it when you said to imagine myself as a little girl when I'm practicing self compassion. I love hearing your insight and look forward to more videos. ❤

I really hope you continue to expand on the AuADHD series. Your two videos have been SO VERY helpful! I love your perspective and approach

Thank you very much for this video, and all of your other cideos too. I am 46 years old, I came to realise I have AuDHD a couple of months ago. I've been in an autistic burn-out and also I identify I am "bore-out" too. It's been dificult, as it is for everyona, but this journe of self knowing and self discovering it's been very liberating.

I love the outtakes btw, reminds me a lot of how I talk (lots of mispronunciation ever since I was a kid, word-mashing, stopping in the middle of sentences or fumbling a word and stopping in confusion) and it’s nice to see that there’s more “outspoken” people out there who sometimes muss up their vocal speech ^-^

I go through this lovely “I’m interested in everything!” -> That’s too much. -> “I’m interested in nothing.” -> That’s too little. -> “I’m interested in everything!” cycle. It’s superficially similar to bipolar syndrome, but I don’t think that’s what it is.

What a fantastic video! I have just discovered that I have ADHD, that my husband is autistic, and that my 12 year old son is an AuDHDer ( I love that term). Your videos have helped me so much to navigate this process of trying to understand us and to understand how to help us. Thank you so much for opening yourself up to us and for putting the time and effort into these videos.

Excellent video, exactly what I’ve been working on! I’ve started writing letters to my (inner child) self ‘Dear…I’m sorry for, grateful for etc.’ helping me with self compassion along the way, waiting for assessment appointment for Autism and ADHD at present Ty for your content ❤