Thank you for making this video:) I have false memory that I had k*lled someone more than a decade ago, and no matter how much I searched my memory bank, mentally reviewed, and even went to the police to seek reassurance (only for them to be dismiss my claims), I still lack trust in myself in the face of an absence of evidence. It is honestly maddening how I keep living in the narrative I constructed for myself, and the more i mentally review my memories, the more embellished and convincing those false memories are. I think I-CBT actually fits well with this theme of OCD because of how much the imagination can truly wreck havoc due to the high malleability of memories. At the same time, this would not apply to other areas of my life where ocd doesn't have a say. No evidence = it did not happen. But somehow that faulty reasoning would immediately come into play when it comes to the specific false memories.
So sorry to hear this. But I'm happy to hear this approach could be helpful. And such a good point how the OCD logic isn't used everywhere. That's what they call "the selectivity of the doubt" in ICBT>
I understand your struggle. Your not alone It’s so hard to find information on this theme and feels different to other themes I wish you luck We can do this!
@@bendolmanb thanks, but can i get some assurance that it is not different from other themes? Ultimately, OCD is OCD right? I am scared I am different and not responsive to therapy. I-CBT really feels like it would work for me. I feel like a lot of false memory videos from other channels often get more vioews than other videos. So I think it is not as uncommon as we think to be?
@@shawnleong3605 that’s what everybody feels like They feel like they are different and there ocd is real and they can’t be treated I can’t give you reassurance but false memory is very much ocd Are you doing therapy?
@@bendolmanb i am starting with a new therapist who says he treats ocd through I-CBT, even though he says it's not the "gold standard," which I don't really agree as "gold standard" simply means it is more researched on, but i think people need to give more time and chances to I-CBT in resolving the obsession/doubt. Thanks for not offering reassurance.
There is a good rule in Catholic Church , If you doubt you commit a mortal sin , you did not ,because you would not doubt it. plus to commit a mortal sin you need grave sin like 10 Commandments , you need before committing a sin not after you did it - full knowledge and full constant. You can not sin mortally by accident or by not knowing at that time.
Im so glad ive come across this video i have ocd false memory and i keep thinking ive done somthing wrong in my relationship and its made me feel like a bad pwrson. Causing me panic attacks and suicidal thoughts even though i know i would never cheat or harm my partner. And i couldnt understand why i was getting like this and this video has been a life saver so thank you so much!❤
My false memory revolves around 2 things… either me cheating on my partner in the past or purposely giving my fiancé a disease at some point. I know it doesn’t make logical sense but all of my obsessions revolve around my relationship because he means so much to me. I literally went around asking my exes and other people I was even slightly interested in in the past if I cheated on my fiancé with them and they all said no and pretty much treated me like I was crazy and some of them even blocked me… it’s embarrassing to admit now but at the time I wasn’t diagnosed with OCD, I got an official diagnosis in July and now I know why. Thank you for explaining it so well ❤️
I almost cried when I read your comment. I am going through the exact same thought of OCD, which led me to do those same exact compulsions, asking people I was involved with in the past if I ever cheated on my boyfriend with them, and they all said no. Even though they gave me an answer my brain is still not satisfied and is trying to dig in deeper into the past and come up with new names of people I was involved with. I want to ask those people so bad but I know that’s just reassurance seeking. The struggle is real! I don’t know who you are, but I truly understand what your going through and with all my heart I tell you that I pray this ends one day and we are free from the chains of OCD.
@@pinkhellokitty.dreamsI’m so glad I’m not alone! Idk if this gives you hope, but ever since making that comment I’ve been in therapy and on meds and I’m doing better… my fiancé and I are actually getting married next month at the courthouse! Some days are still hard, but I promise you can get through it. There is hope!💜
Thank you so much. I’ve started having the doubt of “am I remembering that correctly? Did I leave something out when I asked this question? Maybe they didn’t answer my question fully because I wasn’t clear enough. Maybe I didn’t ask the right question.” Even though I remember this info, I’m starting to question if I even asked for it in the first place. Obviously I could just ask again, but that’s just a compulsion. There is not evidence in reality telling me that I’m misremembering/forgetting this. The evidence would be info presented to me that contradicts my memory or genuinely not remembering, and the genuine not remembering would feel correct and I would feel no conflict over if I was wrong or not. Because I do remember the info, it’s simply the “what if” of possibly not remembering that’s getting me.
Thank you for all the videos. I was wondering if you could touch more on disgust OCD. I don't really have consequences but I do ruminate nonstop about contaminations. Literally everything disgusts me, forces me to clean, wash my hands, rely on gloves and plastic as barriers and even throw many things away. Thank you again for all the info
I have HIV phobia and went to see a psychologist but I accidentally gave him my home address now I’m scared he will track me down and give me HIV if he has it!
what if you cant stop ruminating or mentally reviewing. or is it as u said no evidence just trust let it pass. i get so stuck in fear of making the wrong decision or overthinking simple actions that i freeze. then afterwards im convinced i did something wrong because while i was trying to do something i was so streesed out. the thoughts go on 1000
With perfectionism there is a belief that you have to make the "right" decision and can't make the "wrong" decision. This leads to obsessional doubt. The key is to understand why, for you, the notion of a "wrong" decision has become associated with such fear. If the story changes, and you can see begin to see yourself as someone who can live and explore, and try different things, and mess up, and learn, the need to ruminate will evaporate.
@@OCDspace412 thank you. the ocd therapist i had was more intrested in erp then root causes which i get so tryinh to figure it out on your own is kinda confusing. i am considering hypnosis
Mines based on a real event basically being groomed when in was younger but it’s based around whether I was raped even tho Ino I wasn’t but it’s the chore of goin over the same shit In my head constantly
I discovered a “memory” that had happened 5 years ago that I had never thought of in my entire life before then and am now obsessed with it. It happened after combing through memories asking myself if it was possible. It sounds like this is common with OCD?
Definitely. OCD can involve imagining things and then experiencing those imagined experiences as if they are real! Recovery can require one to better differentiate between the imagination and reality.
I just want to ask you regarding various themes.. that is it helpful to get rid bit by bit beliefs regarding all themes of ocd to win this war…? Like just right ocd:- where we think things are already not “right” until it “clicks” into the only acceptable place? It feels satiating to almost know all this info, and how it functions, but is it helpful for recovering from it without creating another set up of reality we believe in and want to live in instead of actually getting rid of OCD? Where ocd can fade and remove from our experience to such an extent that we are able to be free from all the themes and actually experience everything not in a distorted but clearly and be present in it. I feel like listening to every ocd information is very important for me, but I don’t feel ocd fading away the more I listen to many many theories. Instead, I feel a daunting sense of separation getting worse. I hope whatever technique there is, it is useful in erasing ocd, and increasing our self awareness, and deal with it directly. When it comes to ERP, yes I do find it maddening how they just do not explain explicitly every nuance of what mechanism ocd governs with, but it just dismisses everything and asks us to just walk up to our fear like it’s nothing and ask us to experience without the assurance that symptoms will go away by doing it, and it seems like ocd can latch onto 100s of things we fear. So I feel confused about what will actually treat ocd, not help me manage it around me.
ICBT aims to help you find the path towards true, simple, basic knowledge rooted in a trust in your senses and your common sense. OCD wants you to believe that you will achieve knowledge through questioning and doubting your senses, but this ultimately takes you further away from knowledge. It leaves you stuck in obsessional doubt. Real knowledge is easy and immediate. It is instant. It doesn't require any thinking or searching or exploring. For example, If someone asks you if you need to sneeze, you can answer immediately. That is what actual knowledge feels like. When you stop doubting, you can reconnect with that sort of knowledge about yourself. I hope this helps!
@@OCDspace412 It definitely helps knowing how (sorry for the term) “normal” people function. But it is ever more frustrating to see that why does it feel like something extremely counterintuitive to everything I have ever done in my life? Why is it not obvious for me to function in this way? I realised after long that this wasn’t me and it is a thing, called ocd, but still I feel like I don’t know anything anymore. However I lived all these years was wrong, so do I need to learn a new way to exist now on earth till my brain becomes normal, peaceful and happy? And intelligence returns to it…! The need for certainty and living life like that was in many ways compulsive, felt bad, but leaving the rails, the control I’ve had all my life was for nothing? Though I have seen that my true essence (who I am) will return.. but this ocd is convincing (maybe putting a fight) that I will be me only when I’m in OCD. What a manipulative and trapping, twisted situation!
@@MegaSaanch When you have OCD, connecting with an OCD specialized therapist is essential. There are a variety of approaches, including ERP, ACT, and ICBT that are all evidence based. I recommend that everyone should find the approach that works best for them, but this is ideally done under the care of an experienced therapist. Here are some websites to explore: iocdf.org/find-help/ and icbt.online/find-treatment/
You have to explore why you are using this one event to define you rather than all of the other information that is available in the present and recent memory to define who you are.
So for me idk if this is false memory or just real event but what happened is that I know something happened but I don't remember the exact details and when I ruminate on it puts something that gives me so much anxiety but I start to ask did it happened that way because I had this thought before and it was a obsession and i was able to dismiss it because i said i know something happened but i didn't do anything but it seems ocd says i did and feels soo real and vivid thoughts idk if it's me or its false memory it feels liek im lying to myself
Thank you for sharing your experience. ICBT helps people focus on the present and prioritize what is happening in the here and now, to see if there is any evidence present to doubt one's goodness, competence, etc. In working from an ICBT lens, the person with OCD can start to claim real self-knowledge again. Noticing that feelings are running the show is an important step. They are convincing, but they are not evidence of anything.
I was ruminating about about my trigger and told myself after the event even if someone recorded me I had my face mask on anyway Then the doubt kicked in. Did I have my face mask on so I’m recognisable even though I told myself and was fine straight after I even had to ask someone this morning if my worry happened yesterday and they confirmed no. Now my brain is latching on to something else today
@@OCDspace412hi Thank you for replying I did not get the notification and I’m back here again because of a similar situation that came up last week. I’ve been fasting and praying and have now started remembering my dreams. Last Friday I woke up feeling good and noticed in the homeless hostel I’m at attacks from the neighbour “randomly sniffing” outside my door causing me to question why he’s doing it… I did a grocery delivery (home) 9am due to severe anxiety and I still wear my face mask due to insecurity, a neck scarf + 3 hours after unpacking the shopping at 12pm I started trying to pray and press in to Jesus. Then I get an intrusive thought did I have my face mask on earlier? And instead of casting down the thought I text the delivery driver to ask (obviously why would he respond?😂) so that stopped me from praying due to fear of my mask being off when AT the time of interaction there was no problem and I did have it on. Later that day I tried to ask my neighbour if he heard me with the delivery guy to help me reassure myself of having my mask on During that interaction the male neighbour who sniffs near my door came back and I’m sure he took a picture of me with his phone before coming into the hostel whilst I was talking. At the time I did not worry too much because I was wearing my mask, scarf & bandana After that interaction with neighbour despite him being double minded (he smokes weed) I go up to my room and remove my clothes and then the intrusive thought starts “did I have on…” I go back to the downstairs neighbour and ask him what was I wearing to reassure myself/calm the anxiety and he laughed like a demon and said well you didn’t have your scarf on causing me to worry even though I definitely had it on I told him I had it on (because I did I just wanted to be reassured) I then asked the neighbour upstairs who I thought may have taken a picture of me and asked him (despite English not being his 1st language) and he said no I don’t know I did not see causing me panic when I know the logical part of me knows I had it on as it’s a comfort for me I then went to my room, showered and after like an hour I had another intrusive thought was I being recorded when talking to him? Was I wearing anything on my feet? Did I have my mask on? I could not sleep all night then the next day when he was downstairs cooking I asked him if I had my mask on and he reassured yes Then when I go back in my room another intrusive thought “was my zipper down on my jeans?” “Did I have my mask on?”, “Did he understand what I had asked” I’m a Christian so from a spiritual standpoint I know this is the enemy and I’m learning recently how to pray and fast which obviously in the spirit realm I was doing something right hence all these attacks on my mind. The ocd spirit of mental torment which makes me doubt after a social situation and the lies of the enemy that for some reason I entertained rather than continued praying I went from Friday morning praying and seeking Jesus to ending up in the park crying calling the Samaritans crisis line that same day Since then I’ve been asking constantly after did I have my mask on when I did but still feeling anxious Also the upstairs neighbour who sniffs outside my door has stopped since I’ve been asking him about if I had my mask on, further making me worry that I did not have my mask on whilst talking him despite him saying I did I’ve been struggling to sleep since Friday last week 21ST June due to the anxiety and double checking I have my mask on. During interactions I’m fine it’s when I’m alone minutes, hours later the intrusive question which turns to doubt and fear starts even effecting my sleep which has never been THIS BAD, worrying if I was secretly filmed… [Few days before my birthday a few weeks ago I had the staff at the homeless hostel do a room inspection and I was rushing about and during the interaction I can feel the mask on my face despite not touching it and I was not self conscious of talking during the interaction. As soon as they left I must of removed it quickly then held my hand to cover my mouth whilst closing the window and curtain and then the intrusive thought kicked in did I have my mask on?/ OR/ If I’m emptying the bin late at night I had my mask on but then in bed few minutes to hour later I would have that same intrusive question so I notice the pattern]
Good adition would be mentioning anything about mixing real events with deep diving into memories. Like I’ve cheated on my gf when i was drunk like hell and this was traumatasing event for me. The same day when I was allready sober I told it her and like she was chill about it but it was my last chance. Now Im deep diving into my memories if i did the same thing before actual cheathing. Like you said, there is no proof i did the same thing but there is that doubt and im into this whole OCD pattern. Even I ask friend i meat if i cheated my gf with them and answear is always „no” but its not enought for me
Great video. iCBT is helping me trust myself in my recovery. How can we apply the principles of obsessional doubt to things that have happened. Or in ocd terminology real event ocd
Well, I think one thing to keep in mind is that OCD loves to remove context. When it comes to how your judge yourself, OCD likes to create a situation where you are a blank slate, 100% solely responsible for everything that happens. You can't ever make a mistake. You're irredeemable. But with OCD, you typically only think this way when it comes to you. You don't apply that level of judgement to others. You see others as complicated beings. It's important to utilize nuanced thinking even towards oneself. The context of where you were mentally when the thing happened, and all the reasons that could explain it, the context of what was learned, and the context of who you are today. The clues to the real you are the information in the present moment; your true wants and desires, your value, even how you feel about the past event etc. These are all the clues to the real you. Hopefully this is all relevant to your question!
Thank you for this @ocdspace False memory is horrible I’ve been stuck for over a year with this theme I didn’t understand this could be ocd as it feels real I’ve had ocd for over ten year but had more common themes This is my first moral theme with intrusive images It’s so scary But it made me get treatment and the right therapy It’s still a struggle but my understanding of ocd is way better Compulsions keep it alive Sit with the horrible feelings Do erp If anyones going through this my heart goes out to you Thank you for your perspective and insight with ICBT I’m doing erp at the moment but very interested in other approaches I’m at a stage now where the thoughts are still there and I’m very anxious but I’m trying to go about my day and do positive things Ocd had me bed bound In agony for a good 5 months But as uncomfortable as it is we can’t let us stop living Never give up ❤
Your words mean a lot. Keep moving forward 🙏 if you’re wondering whether or not you’re a bad person, that’s a good sign that you’re a good person to me.
Not only was your video helpful. Some of your commenters comme ts were therapeutic to read and understand that i wasnt the only one. Truly helpful because it wasnt reassurance, maybe validation you let me know.
I'm going through the same the here in Africa(Ghana). Sometimes i feel like i have cursed myself to if i don't do something. It's so difficult, even though the patterns are the same but i don't get use to it. Sometimes i feel like i have actually cursed myself and am going to die. Even though i hate the curses and i wish it never comes to mind. But it always come and it's like they're triggered by some thoughts. Sometimes i feel i might die because of this 😢. What did i do to bring this upon myself 😢
Thank you so so much for posting this video. You’ve got yourself another subscriber. I am so glad you talked about reasons for self-doubt. This is such a tricky part of OCD! I know I didn’t do something bad, I have searched for evidence but I still can’t get myself to trust my word. I have to ruminate and problem solve everytime I have this thought. It’s such a bad compulsion that I didn’t know it was a compulsion, but what are some ways to respond to these thoughts instead of using logic/problem solving?
I want to spell out my real event ocd I participated in a competitive exam to enter engineering college. I passed the exam, results came online , but a official result was supposed to be send via mail. But die to some address issue, i never got that. I took admission in college , they took undertaking that i will submit that later. I forgot, and they never asked. I passed out in 2016, and got my degree and now doing my job. But i always get this fear ,that college will call me and cancell my degree as i did not submit the original version of result. It's haunting me day and night. It makes me feel, that i have something wrong, but in reality i only did study and pass the exams.
Great question. With ICBT, you're looking at separating the difference between A) "Perception" which is the sensory information that you have gathered (the stuff you know for sure) and B) Imagination, which is the story being built in the imagination based on a possibility. The goal is to see that you have to trust your perception and not go into the imagination in the area of your OCD obsession.
Hello Michael, i am Rohit from India , i suffer from harm ocd ,is there any way that i can get counselling help from you through the internet ,how do i contact you.I suffer from Paedophile OCD and keep on doubting myself whether i inadvertently raped or touched somebody ,despite me hating the very thought about it .Please help.
Hi Rohit, I'm unable to provide therapy to people in India currently due to restrictions with my therapist license. I would recommend checking out the IOCDF website or the ICBT Online website. Both have lots of resources and help people connect with therapists in their region.
Question: Can OCD make you think 1. you JUST tried to do something bad, or 2. that you ARE going to _in the moment._ False memory about the past is absolutely a thing in OCD, but what about _in the moment_ ? Like, "Did I JUST try to...?" Or _in the moment,_ "I'm gonna do this," YET you weren't ACTUALLY gonna do it, it was just a false "intention" triggered randomly. You felt it, you thought you were about to do it, you "consciously" planned to _in the moment_ until you snapped out of it or you didn't do it. Is either a thing in OCD? For example, _in the moment_ someone comes at you, you dodge, naturally. It was a conscious/subconscious choice. Does that help clarify?
One of the clearest signs that a particular belief or doubt is OCD is if it took you a lot of effort and review and testing and checking to arrive at the belief or doubt. Actual knowledge is simple. If someone asks you if you need to sneeze, you have an immediate answer. That's how quick the truth comes to you when you trust and don't doubt.
@@johnrainsman6650 Sure. It relates to any self-knowledge. Do you want to hurt people? Who are you attracted to? What did you eat for breakfast this morning? Did you steal something from the store you just left? Do you have bad intentions? Do you want other people to be harmed? Did you hit someone with your car on the way to work? These are all questions with quick, easy answers when you're not obsessionally doubting yourself. Hope that helps.
