3rd Baby: How We Decided & Major Factors To Consider!

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3rd Baby: How We Decided & Major Factors To Think About!
I have been all the way from having 2 kids to having FIVE. But life often gets to choose.
There are SO many factors when deciding on going for another baby!
For us we considered, our schedules, our support, our capacity, our age, our kids temperment and my mental health.
When our kids were 3 and 1 we were very happy with taking a little pause on #3 but I think we both knew we eventually wanted a 3rd.
Then a few months after deciding we opted to start trying for a 3rd and were very lucky to get pregnant right away.
Since being pregnant I've gone from being SUPER anxious and nervous to SO excited and calm. I know all of these things will be my reality in just 2 short months.
I know how hard it is ... I even asked the google "should I have a 3rd kid" and read some interesting blogs. So I thought I'd make a video to talk about how WE decided to have another.... I hope it's helpful.
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00:00 Should you have another baby?
00:14 Hey Shayla Intro having a 3rd baby
00:28 Loving this dress heyshayla.com/dress
01:11 Life Lately... with 2 kids
02:02 Positive Motherhood Mindset
02:50 Why we chose to go for 3rd baby
03:09 Why did YOU choose to stop or keep going for another baby
03:22 Hey Shayla Podcast 069
04:08 I wanted 2-4 kids
04:58 We decided on 2 kids... then we changed our minds
06:41 95% we'll only have 3 kids
06:57 What do I want my MOTHERHOOD to be like?
07:27 What support do you have?
07:50 Pregnancy with children is HARD
08:14 Our age is also a factor
08:35 MINDSET will make our break me with having a 3rd baby
08:57 I'm LOVING my girl's age right now
09:18 Worried + CALM with deciding on a 3rd baby
10:10 MAJOR FACTORS TO CONSIDER when having another baby
10:25 Working Schedule
10:52 Mental Health
11:16 How your Pregnancy went
11:41 Support System
11:51 Your Children's Temperament!
12:12 Family Size + House Size
12:36 How old you and your partner are
12:51 VERY PERSONAL

Опубликовано:

21 июл 2024

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Комментарии : 114

@awarepenguin3376 21 день назад

my wife just told me she wants 3 kids after we planned and discussed two. I'm so disheartened. we have a really good life with our older two and will need to help them with things like college and cars. I grew up with only one sibling and thrive for it. she mourns the life she thinks she wants, I mourn the life that I have now.

@KateTheGreat-co4ou Месяц назад

We went for three because, even though it “made more sense” to stop at two, I couldn’t shake the feeling that someone was missing from our family. Now that he’s here, I feel like our hearts (and hands) are full. 🥰

@camillabloom7691 Месяц назад

We’re not u scared that if two kids were healthy there is a chance getting an unhealthy kid the third time?

@KateTheGreat-co4ou 3 часа назад

Just now saw this comment. And yes, I actually had those thoughts with every pregnancy: what if THIS is the one that has a disability, colic, a difficult temperament, etc. The truth is that every child comes with challenges. By the time my third came along, I had enough confidence in God, myself and my partner to (mostly) let those fears go and accept whatever came. Hope this helps ❤️

@azerlynno Месяц назад

I want a 2nd baby so badly but I’ve been struggling with depression since my 2 year old was born. First it was postpartum depression and then as I was recovering from that my mom was diagnosed with cancer and soon passed away. I’m praying for renewed joy so I can handle another baby💔

@laxel01 18 дней назад

God can redeem you sister! Just seek Him, spend time in the Word! Forgive anyone who had hurt you, ask him to illuminate these things to you through His Spirit! Jesus is the great redeemer and ultimate Healer! Surrender it ask at the feet of Jesus!! And it will come to pass!! ❤🙏🏼 Don't lose faith only believe! Psalm 37:4 and Matthew 6:33!

@dana8208 Месяц назад

My dream after getting pregnant with our second was to have 4 kids. But our youngest is now 1.5 and thankfully I am on the same page as my husband. We are done at 2. I would rather raise my kids and enjoy them, than become overwhelmed with more kids. Its not fair to my children in these early years and the greatest benchmark I hope to achieve as a parent is raising my children to know and love Jesus and for them to say "my parents absolutely loved and enjoyed raising me".

@savonne Месяц назад

I was and am in the same boat then my period didn't come last month so nowhere I am 2 with 1 on the way 😮

@dana8208 Месяц назад

@@savonne God has blessed you with another child. As much as we try to plan our life, ultimately God's will is the best for us. If we were to get pregnant again it would be 100% because of God and I would embrace the future whole heartedly. Congratulations on your little one!

@lornabaez3803 26 дней назад

Very well said. I have 4 kids, ages 15, 13, 2 and 5 months. The 2 babies are challenging at times because I don't have enough arms to hold them both, it breaks my heart. I feel complete and fulfilled with my 4 but I can't get my mouth to actually say, "I'm done having babies." Maybe it's the breastfeeding but I truly love the baby phase so much and it's the season that goes by the fastest smh. I'd like to think I might have another in maybe 3 years?

@elizabethnichole4094 8 дней назад

@dana8208 literally could cry what a beautiful statement and helpful perspective thank you for sharing

@jessicajitweir1513 Месяц назад

We are paying forward the debt which we owe the past by making our children wiser and happier than ourselves. We can do hard things and it's so so worth it. Currently trying for a 3rd. We are also trying to build a family culture that is nurturing to our children's self confidence and intellect. Once you start working for something greater than yourself, then you can lean into it and just have fun. I also operate understanding that this beautiful life we have today was made possible by all the people before us that did hard things and had children. Think of your pioneering ancestors. Everyday we are paying forward the debt which we owe the past.

@sarahdavis1718 Месяц назад

Just had our third at the end of March and it has been by far the easiest postpartum period for me. I think I just let go of all the expectations that I had with number 1 and 2, and finally took on a "go with the flow" approach. Baby is comparably just as difficult in temperament as our first, but I've managed to stay calm and present through the wailing. Also baby wearing is absolutely key! No more rocking to sleep, pop him in the carrier and go. As someone who struggled with PPD and PPA after my first, I feel like I've come out the other side and can see why I struggled so much with my first, and it really was simply that I overwhelmed myself with too much information. I feel like I'm enjoying the early baby stages for the first time and my little guy is such a cutie! It's already going by so fast.

@henrysmama2874 Месяц назад

I needed to hear this! I am hoping for a third and to have your mindset. We got rid of all our baby stuff and all I would plan on getting is a cartier. Thank you ❤

@brendahusing2185 Месяц назад

Im so excited you're having a third!! I loved having 3, currently have 4. I am now loving 4 but it was really hard at first. 3 was a breeze! Big family tips - Get a van! Just do it, don't think twice - Hyatt place for hotel travel - double queen rooms with sofa pull out and free hot breakfast - in a couple years things are going to get much easier so just go with it!

@sprinklesofsara7039 Месяц назад

Love these! Thanks for sharing!🙏

@katybergeron419 Месяц назад

Was pregnant this year with our 2nd but lost it at 12 weeks. And honestly a slight bit of me was feeling relieved. Had severe hyperemesis gravidarum and had multiple hospitla visits. Was even slightly considering letting it go (I'm in canada) but life chose for me. It's very sad but I'm more sad about knowing we aren't going to try for another because of how sick I was. So it's a 1 and done for us which I have huge relief from, but also I'm very upset about also. ❤

@rhiannakeys8045 Месяц назад

I think that’s very natural for any woman to mourn being done with having kids. Whether or not it’s one or more. I hope you can mourn and have peace soon.

@jenwylie4093 Месяц назад

My child cried, all day, every day for 1 1/2 years. My husband worked from home, which gave me a break when I needed to, but it also gave him a look at the whole picture. He said no more kids, and got a vasectomy. Now my son is 4. I said, "It would have been nice to have another." recently. Hahah He was annoyed that he went out and got the procedure. I told him that it looked like there was no changing his mind when he had it done, so I let him do it.

@tina22tina 5 дней назад

Isn't a vasectomy reversible if you decided to have another?

@redfischer2519 24 дня назад

Firstborn is almost 5, secondborn is 1½, and im already dreaming of having babies forever. Ive always wanted to raise my own kids and do the momma thing for life, like what else are we here for if not continuing our family and watching them thrive!

@erinjanzen9931 Месяц назад

One thing my husband and I consider is what we want life to look like in 20, 30, 40 years. Thinking about the family gatherings, the grandbabies, the kids that grow and move away. It's hard to look ahead that far when you're in the trenches, but I think that's a factor too. We currently have 2 (3.5 and 1.5 year old boys) and are considering a 3rd... but it's everything you just talked about!

@scan606 Месяц назад

That's what we keep telling ourselves ! We have one baby boy, my post partum was really hard, i think i've cried non stop for six months, and i don't know where i'll find the strengh to go for another one, i really want to convince myself that one and done is ok. But when we picture our family in ten years, it's impossible for us to imagine just one child at the table.

@erinjanzen9931 Месяц назад

@@scan606 Right! We both really struggle with the first year and the thought of going through that again is not appealing, but it's such a short time in the grand scheme of things. Doesn't make it any easier when you're in it though!

@natalievanengelen4660 Месяц назад

I have four. I knew I wanted 3, possibly four and my husband really wanted four. To be honest, i was really on the fence about a fourth but knew that long term, we wanted a large family. Going from 3-4 has been the hardest transition because we are just keeping our heads above water most days. Even though it’s hard, we’re so so grateful for all our children and look forward to years of fun and travel with them. So many memories to come. I had my tubes taken out during my last csection and we’re so thrilled with everything. One thing I heard years ago about if you’re on the fence with having more or not is that you will never regret having another one. You are more likely going to regret not having another one. If you’re not sure if you’re done, you’re more than likely not done.

@sawilliams2262 Месяц назад

Had our first last summer after trying for 3 years so as of now pulled the goalie for life and letting things happen and hoping for more. We don’t have a firm number, hoping and praying for more but also enjoying the one we were blessed with ❤

@tamsincookie5467 Месяц назад

We always thought we wanted three but we had our second 8m ago and we both feel like we are now done which has surprised us both. We love the dynamic of both being able to have one on one time with them. But still questioning whether we are right!

@eirdoula3109 Месяц назад

I’m so happy to hear you’re going to be talking about partner resentment! It’s so common during pregnancy and postpartum.

@OliviaMcAneny Месяц назад

I always saw myself having 4 but my pregnancies are so hard I am pretty sure we will be done after this. It is so crazy how things change

@sararetka9979 Месяц назад

I love having these conversations- it's so helpful to hear all the different viewpoints, even when ultimately it's up to you, it just feels nice to put it all out there. Right now, in our current life status, we absolutely cannot have a third (currently have a 3 yr old daughter and 21mo old son). Some days are great, but a lot of days feel like chaos, and sometimes in a very stressful way. But I also can't say with 100% certainty that I don't want a third. And the clock is ticking, I'm almost 37. I don't want complications. Sometimes I think having a third would be too much and would negatively affect the 2 that we already do have and want the best for. Other times I picture them with another sibling and getting to see another bond and different kind of relationship and growing and learning together and maybe that would outweigh the difficult chaos. I also ache to grow another baby, feel them kick, and give birth and breastfeed and newborn cuddles and all that. Lack of sleep terrifies me a bit too though (especially since we're going through a sleep regression with our youngest right now so it's hard to imagine adding at the moment). There's just a lot of thoughts, and while I would love to know, one way or the other, I think I have to accept being stuck in limbo for the time being. It's an unanswerable question for now🤷‍♀️

@cassihamann7318 23 дня назад

⁹0

@franziskasummers2765 2 дня назад

That’s literally our situation now🙈 oh I just can’t decide and I turn 38!

@my.2_centswithjessikay102 Месяц назад

I had my first in 2015. I am 2 weeks away from having my second child. I will be getting my tubes tied after this lol I’m 35 and I don’t want to keep having babies. This is my partners first child and he is supportive of me being done. 😊

@EstelaRangel-kz5wg 24 дня назад

I'm here because I have 2 boys 10&9 and one on the way ❤❤

@drishticommunitywellness Месяц назад

Shayla, you have the best attitude towards things. Love it. Thanks for spreading it. I’m 42 and pregnant with our second due in August. They will be 20 months apart. Age doesn’t always matter, but the space you want between your kids is another thing! I guess all of that depends :)

@elizabethnichole4094 8 дней назад

Thank you for sharing this and inviting a community to hear others point of views… I have totally been torn between having 3 or 4…. This is so helpful

@aohamer 12 дней назад

Yaasss "Get it Girl"!! Thank you for always sharing the real...no matter what time of day 💕 Great points made. Now, I gotta have a chat with the hubby 😉

@Ishyona Месяц назад

I really wanted 5 or 6 kids at least, I love babies, I love being pregnant, and I love being a mum... but after two life threatening emergency c-section births I've been told by doctors I may not be able to have a 3rd, and if I do, it'll be my last. There's definitely an element of grieving there, especially when you don't get to decide for yourself when your done.

@texan903 Месяц назад

You are blessed with two amazing children, and most importantly, your life. With two children, you get to give them the best you have to offer.

@ekatrinya Месяц назад

Look up videos from Dr. Stewart Fischbein ❤ God bless

@laxel01 18 дней назад

Doctor's have been wrong so many times, but God is always right! Seek Christ and He will provide the answer and the way! 🙏🏼❤️

@ekatrinya Месяц назад

Just had my second baby 8 weeks ago and I would love to have two more before I hit 40

@jjjinkies. 16 дней назад

I really wanted the first. I told my husband I would be ok with one, but because I got the final say on the first he got the final say for the second, and I'm now pregnant with my second. We are both sure two is the maximum so it better not be twins 😅

@myaneumann7080 Час назад

I’m pregnant with #3 at 24 and this one has been by far the hardest in terms of energy and symptoms. But 2 didn’t seem like enough kids for us. My kids will be 4& 2 when baby comes in December. I was excited to have another especially after an early miscarriage..I’m still excited. My husband and I wanted 6. He would still like 6. But I think 4 will be perfect for us especially because I stay home and main caretaker with little help or support. But we may wait until this one is 3 before adding the fourth. If we had more support I would definitely go for 6. Love this video btw.

@lizzyh8560 Месяц назад

Our reason to have a second child: we felt that our family was missing someone, a missing piece of the puzzle. When looking at picture, specifically holiday/vacation photos, of our eldest (then only child), we had a feeling that he was alone and unfinished. Currently debating and waiting if we will have a third. My current feeling is that our second (now only 3 months old) is a dream that I would want to experience again and that I have a lot more love to give. Both pregnancies were healthy, and I felt amazing during those times.

@ashtonchancellor Месяц назад

Love this and can’t wait to see the next video! Girl you are a trooper for hanging in there and keeping up with the channel! My husband and I have a 2 month old and I am so in love with motherhood already and can’t wait to have more! He told me the other day he decided he “only wants two” and I was like…. can we talk about this once we actually have two?? 😂 He is 26 and I’m 32

@monroeroams Месяц назад

struggling through postpartum right now after just having had #2 last week and this video cracked me up 😂 thanks for sharing your honest thoughts on this super important topic/decision!!!!!

@Jfkdjf Месяц назад

We have 3 under 3, and are aiming for 5 or 6 ❤ I come from a big family and my husband loves adding kids. Once you enter the “chaos” I feel like it’s just so much fun, incredibly rewarding to see the sibling interactions, and can’t wait for all the fun adventures we’ll continue to have as they grow up and it gets easier to road trip etc I have amazing pregnancies (except first trimester booo) easy deliveries, and my kids sleep well. I kind of can’t imagine ever being done done, but also want my body back eventually :)

@lisak574 Месяц назад

I'm 37, mum to 2.5 year old and pregnant with our second. Let me tell you, being older and pregnant and having a toddler is HARD. My body aches like it never has and I am so so tired. No more after this thank you!

@Kiwicanuck3000 Месяц назад

I’m exactly the same as you in terms of age, toddler’s age and pregnant again! I feel like my body never recovered after my first pregnancy and am dreading what I’ll feel like after this one is born.

@Lexa_Mac Месяц назад

Pelvic floor exercises, ladies!! And light leg exercises (use a chair or something to help keep you stable). I wish the very best for you both and congratulations! 💖

@syrykh Месяц назад

I had my first child because suddenly something clicked inside me and I was just: "I WANT A BABY ASAP!" And when my son was 4 I suddenly had the same feeling again. Absolutely irrational, but it just was all I wanted. Would like to have one more child, but unluckily now it's difficult due to impaired fertility. Anyway, when I feel sad that I might not have my third, I look at the photos of my kids when they were little and I am happy that I have them. Really happy for you and your family ❤

@Lexa_Mac Месяц назад

Dude this was so me. I thought about it for a good 6 months before I brought it up and pretty much no questions asked, immediately got pregnant. The universe said, "Before you change your mind, here ya go! Enjoy!" And we are so thankful, he is such a joy (99% of the time lol). Definitely want to go for more. When? Not sure. How many? Not a clue. I'm 28 tho so probably should get on that sooner rather than later.

@kelseymena1844 Месяц назад

This was helpful!

@thedesertdaydreamer Месяц назад

Loved this! I love the idea of having 4 kids but then there are days I feel overwhelmed with just one 🥴

@doravalencia2214 Месяц назад

I definitely want another and wss planning on starting soon. But life be lifing and i hope i get to open that door again, soon..

@_pandacecelya_ Месяц назад

I love that you’re honing in on this topic now that you’re pregnant with #3 because this is my brain every day 😅 I have a 9 month old and an almost 3 year old. I’ve always wanted 4. But now my husband and I go back and forth between just having 2 or 3. But I know we feel incomplete. I want at least one more even if I’m overwhelmed right now. I’m thinking a bigger age gap this time around to help with that. So maybe a 3.5 & 5.5 year age gap would help with that. Love reading people’s decisions and reasonings!

@nessnness Месяц назад

I want to be done. I just had baby nr 2 and pregnancy was awful. I want to be done. But when I look at my baby, I can't stand never going through that again. Never holding my baby again. On the other hand, babies grow up super fast. So the baby phase is always going to pass.

@kristendlugosch4923 Месяц назад

You look absolutely radiant! We have 2 beautiful boys and would love to have 3 to 4. We are similar to you in most likely staying at 3 but the door to 4 is not closed yet

@jamie01an Месяц назад

This was a great video! I love all the points you tackled and that you brought in the mindset piece and being honest about mental health/capacity as that’s been a huge factor for our family. I am so happy for you and excited that you chose 3! My husband was cool with 1 but we always knew we would have at least 2. I always wanted 3 but after my second pregnancy (had absolutely horrific prenatal and post partum depression) I’ve had to mourn the idea of having 3 kiddos. I grew up in a 2 kid family but really spaced apart (6 years) and I had always wished I had another sibling. Mental health wise though I don’t want to risk having a 3rd after what happened in my last pregnancy. mental health wise and the limited help we have, I’ve come to terms with the fact that I don’t have the capacity for another baby although i really wish I did. I looooooove the baby stage so much and always saw our family being bigger so it’s hard. I am loving that I am out of the pregnancy phase and able to have my body back to myself. I love that I don’t have to get a bigger car. I am loving that my youngest is now 2.5 and things are starting to become a lot easier. I’m excited to get back to full time work with the flexibility to just pull them out when I want to to have our adventures and that my kiddos are super close in age and love being together. I can pour more into them and be a more loving, present mama. Both my kiddos are big on quality time so it just allows me to prioritize that and I keep thinking that maybe one day when the kids are older that I can be that home where other kids feel safe to be there and know they are welcome. Hopefully this is how I will get the crazy “home alone” huge family feeling haha. I didn’t have a great home life so I always appreciated other families who took me in for dinner or just allowed me to get away to somewhere safe. I’m going to be that place for my kids, their cousins, and their friends. ❤

@heyshayla Месяц назад

Loooooooooooove this !!!!!

@CountryKids1234 Месяц назад

At least 5! But only on #2 so we’ll see :)

@brittanyanderson1748 Месяц назад

I’m pregnant with my second. Never planned to have more than 1 because I’m an only child and my husband is one of four so personally I didn’t think past the first. It wasn’t until toddlerhood with my first that I considered the possible benefits and beauty of having 2. I think im taking it baby by baby and not taking a third off the table but I do know I want to be done with my pregnancies by the time I’m 35. So we will see!!

@chiloveisintheair Месяц назад

So I actually asked this question a couple videos ago. But I’m pretty sure we are one and done. I’m young 25 but my body reacted to pregnancy horribly. Literally in all the worst ways, and now that I have a two year old I don’t think I can do pregnancy while having another child to care for. Soo yeah…one and done unless we adopt

@kaileyroche Месяц назад

I had the worst pregnancy with my boy too who’s also 2, but pregnant again now with boy no.2 and this pregnancy is a breeze! Madness! I’m not sick at all or having bleeds & pains like the last time. So you never know 🤪

@carinen8119 Месяц назад

Yay for mental health

@keltiemartell304 Месяц назад

We were on the fence about having our second. He's now 15months ans oh boy we are in the thick of it. Mental health of this stahm is suffering in the stage of 3 and 1yrs old. We are stopping for sure!

@willowslater9961 Месяц назад

Absolutely died laughing at the rollercoaster 🤣 My guess for you shayla… is you’re gonna have 6 kids 🤭😘 I’m one of 11! Literally the best. I thank my mom all the time for making me all my best friends ❤

@leeandd2278 Месяц назад

Military wife ( never got time to build a village)and expecting 13th baby and I can honestly say I’ve lost my marbles. Imagine having 8 kids in am E.R cause one had a sever reaction to penicillin( it’s never a dull moment here) I adore being a mom so I never imagined giving up this role. Every stage has its challenges especially the teen years ( sometimes I wanna skip those years lol) but they are also amazing on their good days.

@heyshayla Месяц назад

Thirteenth baby?! Girl you are a saint

@pitounesky7604 Месяц назад

My first is now 21 month old. Pregnancy and delivery were easy for me, but my first year of motherhood was exhausting. My daughter didn't sleep easily (she's just starting to sleep her nights without waking up, but not consistently). I'm starting to think about having a second. I'm 33 years old and started my family in my 30s since I studied 10 years in university before starting my career. I've always wanted at least 2 kids, but not closed to the idea if having 3 or 4. My spouse and I both grew up in families of 3 kids. We will see how it goes for baby 2. If baby 2 has also a strong temperament like my first, I might stop at 2. We will go with the flow from there! 😂

@miravaltschanova3261 Месяц назад

You are glowing ❤❤❤❤❤

@aubreylove5836 Месяц назад

I’m 29 pregnant with our 3rd ❤ My husband and I both want 3-4 and we ask each other at the 1st b-day how are we feeling and both times so far we both just know it’s time for another. There is a feeling of excitement and longing in the soul for another from both myself and my husband 😊 If you know you know!

@papabear5506 Месяц назад

Three for us so far, and we love them so much we want as many as we can get! (Not too quickly, though 😅 two ish year age gap has been great)

@xenos911 Месяц назад

Go for 4! You look great!

@steveloux4709 Месяц назад

We have four spread over 11 years. There's always room for one more. :)

@redrover2370 Месяц назад

My second daughter is 3 months old. We always said we’d have two kids. I feel like I could go a third, and would have loved to have had a boy, but there’s a lot of factors, including finances to have a year of maternity leave again, that mean we are 95% definitely done

@kristinjohnson5639 Месяц назад

I had 2 (3.5 and 1.5 yo). I have a boy and girl. I have some trauma from childhood and I said yes to the second when i should’ve said No….i love her to death but I’m overwhelmed with 2. I’m also still going through therapy for my tough childhood so parenting is quite triggering for me. I wanna just enjoy the kids I have and not overextend myself. I got my fallopian tubes removed after my 2nd c section and I’m sooo happy I did.❤

@wasdy6924 11 дней назад

I'm currently 32+3 pregnant with our first, it's a girl and we really want a boy too so my husband and I decided we are willing to try 2 more times to have a boy, if we get 3 girls oh well, what can you do. I am already 34 having my first and my husband will be 42 in a month, so even if we want to try for a 4th I think we'd be pushing it age wise too much. We'll both be praying to God for that boy so we don't have to mourn never having one.

@Jessie90ish Месяц назад

Great video. I am due any day with our second son. Always wanted 2 boys. Thought we might go 3 since both my husband and I are of 3. But I hate being pregnant. It feels like putting a pause on my whole life. Breastfeeding is a whole ordeal. Another feeling of "pausing" due to how much of me it takes. And I have a severe type A personality. I am very impatient. Practical. Sometimes too negative. I just cannot imagine trying to balance 3 or more. I want to be as close to the best of myself that I can possibly be for my family. I need the feeling of "done" to envision THE REST. haha I know what I can handle. I'd like 8 kids. But I just cannot. I'm also practical in the future sense where I want to be able to financially help my kids when they hit adulthood. It just seems more manageable when there is only 2. Something in me is like BUT BUT BUT....but I also know I have to focus on the quality of NOW.

@emilyschlabra Месяц назад

I know there are so many factors that go into deciding to have more kids, but I just want to say it’s ok to not know. A lot of my friends stress over what their “perfect number” is. When I got married I thought we would have 2 kids, 7 yrs later we are pregnant w/ baby #4. And we still don’t know if we are “done”. We have a special needs child and twins so we definitely bring our own flavor of chaos but we have loved the ride and have grown so much with each child.

@antoniad8191 Месяц назад

Ive got wo Boys 4 years apart. Im Sure im not done but also unsure if we can handle a third. I really want a smaller gap to be out of the babyzone faster. The First year is for me too the hardest and im 35 now. Im too not getting my period until im weaning but my second just breastfeeds nights and im not ready to completly stop at this point....

@jourdancatts2367 Месяц назад

Thank you for this Shayla. I've been struggling with being pregnant for the second time, having a toddler, living in my husband's country, trying to learn German, not living close to my family, only having 1 friend after 2 years in Switzerland/Germany and not knowing what I'm going to do for work after this baby since I lost my job because I'm pregnant (before my trial period was up). I want to enjoy this stage in life, instead I'm finding my mindset is trying to get through it until I can get a break. I thought I wanted 3 and felt "weak" for finding ask this so difficult to balance. I think the German culture is quite though in that way as well, when I ask other German mother's they mostly say "I am good, it's easy" or "I had no major troubles, so I am doing good". Reading the comments as well helped me to feel less alone in my feelings. Thank you everyone for posting your experience.

@chantalgrauel Месяц назад

I'm also living in Germany and I am actually from The Netherlands, so I can relate

@jourdancatts2367 Месяц назад

@@chantalgrauel yes! I live near Basel in Switzerland/Germany!

@chantalgrauel Месяц назад

@@jourdancatts2367 that is a bit too far, I live in Münster 🙈

@jourdancatts2367 Месяц назад

@@chantalgrauel ha ha ha ha that is a bit of a drive😅

@WombToWorld Месяц назад

I literally will never understand these conversations. I'm absolutely entirely completely 100% no questions asked DONE AT ONE!!!

@shelbywerther1135 Месяц назад

Siblings are built in best friends though. Who will they lean on when you leave this earth?

@SamJam92 Месяц назад

Due with our second in August and already sad that it may be our last! Pregnancies have been hard on me, traumatic delivery c-section, debilitating postpartum anxiety and depression, and my toddler still doesn’t sleep. So probably for the best, but still hard to wrap my head around. 😢

@texan903 Месяц назад

You are so blessed. Soon to be two wonderful children to love. Most importantly, you have your life. Quality over quantity applies in so many ways.

@leahcarrington2497 Месяц назад

Not all of us get to choose how many kids we have or how far apart they will be. Your very lucky

@heyshayla Месяц назад

🫶

@rchhtt5210 Месяц назад

I am very happy for people who do have that privilege. Took a year to conceive my daughter and currently 11 months in ttc for another. No idea if it will even happen. I had to accept in might not happen last time and conceived the same month.

@kristenmicula9337 Месяц назад

You look beautiful!! ❤

@PinkMakesItPunk7 Месяц назад

I'm pregnant with my second and wanna have 3-4, my husband wants to have one of each boy and girl. My second is also girl, we'll try for a third naturally if it's a girl again then the 4th we'll do ivf w gender selection, if third is a boy we may or may not stop, if not we'll just go team green w 4th and do it naturally since at that point we won't care about the gender.

@aliciaanderson3622 Месяц назад

Wait, I need that dress link!! Did I miss it in the description?

@heyshayla Месяц назад

Heyshayla.com/dress you’re right I didn’t put it in there🙈

@chelsiefrazier8513 Месяц назад

Love this! I am a mom of 5, and it is crazy and fun. Once we had three we accepted chaos and decided the more the merrier. But 5 is our max for sure!

@erikacook3056 Месяц назад

Three was our Max. Literally, his name is Max 😂 just I was completely overwhelmed. Then i unexpectedly got pregnant and 4 is completely different and so. Much. Fun. I am thinking about having a 5th but we won’t decide quite yet. It’s complete chaos but so joyful.

@chelsiefrazier8513 Месяц назад

@@erikacook3056 I must say the looks people give you once you go past 3 is entertaining. 🤣

@Jfkdjf Месяц назад

Love to hear this! We’re hoping to be blessed with 5 or 6. Got 3 under 3 right now and it is the most fun 🥰

@GlEeKsRaWeSoMe Месяц назад

We just got pregnant with our third. And the reason we decided to go for 3 is because while our family feels whole, it doesn’t feel complete.

@mingxu8071 Месяц назад

Definitely done with two. I am just excited to never have to change a diaper eventually hahaha.

@chelisa427 Месяц назад

Currently in the limbo deciding between one-and-done or two. Having a couple miscarriages before our toddler was born makes me nervous to try for a second. Also, I just love him so much, it’s hard to imagine splitting my time between two! How does that work? Would love advice about how that feels with multiples. ❤

@BabyMieuw Месяц назад

I'm in the same position. Also in doubt between one and done, or adding a sibling. What makes it challenging for me, is that I'm a single mother (by choice, my son (now 20 months) is from an anonymous donor) but I'd love to give him a brother or sister, and also my age (being 40something). If I want to do it, I have to be (very) quick. Any advice on how to handle two, is most appreciated.

@incaray69 Месяц назад

I was happy with one. Then a bout 2 years later I REALY wanted another. It took another 3 yrs to convince my partner. For my second I had a home birth and instantly wanted another!! Unfortunately I think my partner would leave if we had 3 😂. We're 7 months in with 2. Although I'd love to be pregnant and give birth again, I think we are done with 2. Travel being a big factor.

@theimprobableone8635 Месяц назад

For now we are stopping at two because 1. everything is freaking expensive and we are low income 2. giving birth is super traumatizing, even with an "ideal" labor and delivery (nothing goes wrong, all smooth and fast). Those are the main two reasons but also 3. my own mental health, I haven't been enjoying motherhood as much as I thought I would and I am excited to get back into the workforce and have more of a break away from my kids.

@morhy5501 Месяц назад

We wanted at minimum 2, and then the 1st pregnancy and birth were awful, the baby turned out to be exhausting, so we decided that we are done. Aaaand now we are preparing for a surprise baby 😅

@alyciamelick3782 Месяц назад

Great video! Two questions: -- Because you're a bit crunchy granola, I was wondering how much environmental considerations weigh in on your decision to have more? Or not at all? (i.e. more waste and more consumption over a person's lifetime and exponential growth as each child goes on to have their own children). -- Based on what you've shared, it seems like Seth vocalizes more about wanting to be done with 3 kids. (I could totally be misunderstanding! Just seemed like I heard some comments like that in the last few videos you talked about the number.) Would you say that's true? How do you guys navigate that difference in opinion? If you couldn't agree on whether you guys were done having kids or not, what consideration would have the ultimate veto power?

@redrover2370 Месяц назад

Would like to see these two point discussed further in a follow up video- environmental factors, and differences between partners After our second, hubby is ready for a vesectomy and I’m open to having 3…and I think the partner who wants to stop ‘wins’

@nataliebartholow2845 Месяц назад

You are gorgeous! Love your shit. Thanks mama 🙏

@meganreichenbach5465 Месяц назад

I already got the minivan 😂🫶

@VivaLaNatural Месяц назад

After our first (which was our most difficult and still is temperament wise) we became fascinated with the idea of 2 under 2 🫠. Went for it and she’s the most chill toddler now. Our oldest has this quirky, sassy and witty personality that we love but also learning to deal with 😂 I didn’t feel done at 2 so I bargained with hubby for the 3rd. Now pregnant with the 3rd, I know we are absolutely done. He’s still grappling with how we’ll handle 3, while I know we’ll be fine. It’ll be chaotic but fine! However, I know we couldn’t handle 4.