Top Social Anxiety Tips for Confidence! 

My big fear is the fear of being seen anxious

My core fears are being judged by others and then leading to rejection/being alone and seen as a loser/weird. Thanks for the great video!

My fear is being judged. I didn’t use to be like this but moving to a different state in your early 20’s trying to make friends and having people ghost you with no reasoning you start to wonder if something is wrong with you. If you wonder enough, you actually start believing something is wrong with you which is what happened.

Even thinking about these exercises makes me anxious.

My social anxiety is worse around certain types of people. Anyone else relate?

The biggest thing keeping people with social anxiety is often their mindset. These tips will actually help you, if you think the whole world is just judging only you, then you're wrong. I used to suffer from extreme SA and the only way I got rid of it was once a few years ago by drinking then eventually exposure to the things I was afraid of... It's not easy because it's a battle within yourself. SA is very hard to overcome when it's at it's strongest, but you have to be comfortable with being judged, and realizing at the end of the day you are completely normal, if not it's ok to be different. You must get to a point of being tired of being afraid that you will do anything to be normal. Accepting your anxiety and overcoming it is powerful, you need to be vulnerable in order to be strong sometimes. It's not a weakness or something to be ashamed of, you have to see yourself as a strong person for dealing with such a scary negative human emotion, and once you overcome it, you will feel stronger than most people.

My issue stems from my habit of reading too much into body language and social cues. If I’m feeling good and confident and approach someone, and they look visibly uncomfortable or nervous I can’t help but shut down and it gets awkward very fast where I want to run away 😅 this comes to play more with people in a romantic scenario or people that are not as open or enthusiastically friendly with me. The sense of comfort is needed for me to navigate these situations.

My biggest fear is loneliness. I’ve lost friends last couple years. They were really close to me. It broke my heart so much, then consequently i feel i have to be funny to my friends and i crate clown mask. End of the day i would say this is not me, i’m not happy with current me. I want to be myself even i feel sad and lonely.

My biggest fear is that they will know I am weak and attack me... as it happened before. I feel like I always need to either become invisible or look scary/unapproachable and never make connections because that could also make me more vulnerable to them. Yeah, trauma-based fear of people is real.

I'm afraid people will think I'm anxious and make them anxious. Then when they become anxious I become even more anxious. It's so sad. 🙁

Binging your videos and crying because it is such a relief to hear someone validate and articulate what I experience nearly every day. I would love to try some of the exposures but unfortunately the stakes and in turn, the fears are doubled because I live in a country where I'm not fluent in the language yet.

In case you’re wondering, Mario Kart DS is my favorite version.

when i hear about these exercises i want to burst out crying

I don't like video calls and talking to strangers can make me feel uncomfortable and insecure. I'm very proud of myself that I managed to chat with all of my sons teachers per video call for parent teacher conferences this week anyways! I was worried about moments of awkward silence or that I would come across as nervous or stumbling over my words/ saying weird things. But none of this really happened and I managed to stay pretty connected and even had some moments where I enjoyed the conversation. 😊

Love this! The more we face uncertainty and doubt and respond differently to it, the more confident and less anxious we become! 👍

I have struggled with mental illness and my mental health since I was a kid. Before I even knew what those terms were. After years of depression, anxiety, and even an attempt to take my life, I never thought I would be able to live without psych medications. I clung to them because it was the only thing that made my mind quiet, but it also made me a zombie. Microdosing has given me control of my mental health for the first time, and they essentially gave me my life back.

My core fear I think is people judging me for who I am, how I act and what I look like. I’m scared that in someone’s eyes I’m not good enough..? And that I’ll be rejected and left alone in all situations, although I do love being alone a lot of the times in my life. But Idk..

Core fear I had are shame, trauma from family-related issues and autism-related violence. It's also difficult especially in dating life and making new friends. Thoughts I might think for the worse includes getting arrested for saying a wrong word or harassment.

These tips were actually very helpful thank you. I know other creators say that confidence is key which it is but sometimes you don’t feel confident all the time and want real answers. Definitely will be implementing these tips.

My core fear is being rejected and criticized. I think people think I am boring or have nothing important to say. I also fesr people misinterpreting the meaning of what im saying and then getting angry

Your tips are unique and exactly what i've been looking for. these tips give me anxiety yes, but also give me hope :) at least I learned that these situations do happen in real life and it's normal and it's fine! thank u so much, Dr. Ali.

Thank you. I did the core fear exercise and discovered (although I deep down already knew) that my core fears are that people will not accept me and I'll suffer consequences for being an outcast. I realize that living in my fear will inevitably push people away and my fears will come true and the cycle continues with me being more afraid. I think for me, instead of always thinking about what other people are thinking about me, I need to do the things I value doing and be the person who I want to be.

Thank you so much. Your content is so underrated!

I love this guy. Thank you for helping us all out

The issue with exposure for me is not about actually trying them, but how to handle the consequences or the extreme cringe or awkwardness that follows. For instance, the scenario in a cafe, where if I order a coffee, and later tell them that I wanted a tea instead. What if they say no. Or what if they react rudely.

One of the things I struggle with the most is when I am in a silent room/environment. I start to focus on myself and my breathing and any sound I make such as loud breathing or even dropping a pen I feel like will draw lots of attention to me which I don’t like.

excellent video, thanks for taking us through the process

Thank you so much for the social anxiety videos. Thank you so much

I was doing the exercise, and I have a few core beliefs fears like a combination of rejected, embarrassed, and criticized.

Thank you for the video! Great work!

Thank you so much....facing mind barriers intentionally with courage....thank you🙏

When i try sharing thoughts , no one listens to me. That's my fear of going unheard

I embarrasse myself daily, it will be hard to beat it :,) I have discovered your channel yesterday, it helps a lot, especially coming from someone who has been in our shoes. Thank you so much for sharing so many things with us!

first step to cure your anxiety. Do what makes you anxious.

My favourite exercise is to ask the places which I do intentionally and speaking to public. Thank you so much sir, it really works and I try level best to do all the exercises listed here. Thanks ❤🎉

This video was so helpful! What I've noticed with myself is that all of these exercises, particularly for rejection or embarrassment, I would feel 100% more confident doing them if I had a friend with me who I'm very comfortable around. I wonder what to make of that...

Amazing i will definitely try these exercises

I love your advice!

thank you for the video Dr. Ali. I am really enjoying your videos about SAD. I guess my hesitation or lack of motivation is that I think I am more comfortable being socially anxious than doing any of the CBT techniques discussed. I just don't want to pull other people into my struggle and ruin their day.

Sometimes making conversations makes me feel tired than I feel on completing my 3km run

This is great! Get to what's fueling the social anxiety underneath ❤

For every exercise you said my brain just went: "but they'll be madddd"

My social anxiety feels worst after I spend a great day with people I know love me the most in the world, but at night I lie awake wondering whether one little thing I said was the wrong thing. I'm afraid people don't actually like me and that I'm being talked about behind my back.

I’m going to try to ask more people how they feel about me and my social skills in group settings as this is where I feel most socially anxious.

Yeah ! I also feared of myself in socialising feel like I'm a weirdo and but got enough of attention in my school life to a anxious person is a bliss and sin itself . Want to cope up soon otherwise it's dangerous to yourself , pain is inevitable but misery is optional. Simple thing be kind to yourself .

I've found that my core fear is being unsuccessful. I feel like I've been alright so far, and I guess I don't want to mess that up.

Hey, just discovered your channel. Thank you for your work, I wish you had more views! I've found so many answers to my questions

So great to know that I'm not alone, though, it seems everyone else who experiences this are online.

thank you! Now I know a new word - selfsuiting!

I prefer this style of solution oriented stuff 😃

Doing dares does not make me anxious but its the one on one conversations when i need to talk about myself … it makes me sweat soo bad and i look so anxious no matter how hard i try to fight it

All these are excelent exercises. I have overcame it for the most part but when I get away from social situations it comes back. The only positive things is that I know for sure how to overcome it now. Its just time and effort but its easier as I know that its possible.

Thanks sir it's really helpful ❤

This guy is a genius. I got this, I mean we got this. Let’s gooo

Thanks alot I will use your technics

The anxious picture looks more confident XD. anyway, your content sure means a lot to people. Be proud!

What makes me really uncomfortable about some of the excercises you proposed is that by doing them I would be inconveniencing other people. I'm not sure that's something I should do 😕

my core fear is... people thinking i'm too angry all the time

AWESOME EXAMPLE S!!!! TO pick from !!!😮

I think my core fear is I don’t like myself and I worry if I get rejected it just proves to myself that I’m not likable, not enough etc..

One thing that helped me was just doing stuff alone, like going to a coffee shop or a movie. I’ve even been to a concert alone. Had a great time with myself and I wasn’t anxious 🙂🤘

I don't connect to people ever. I could speak to someone all evening and in the end feel nothing for them.

Thank you so much for bringing this subject to light. So many people have no idea what social anxiety is! They just think it's being withdrawn and shy. I became aware of my social anxiety about 2 years ago. I've lived with social anxiety pretty much my entire life. Its been completely crippling at times. I've had so many big dreams smothered by the likes of social anxiety. I've been working with a therapist for the past year or so but I just don't feel like I'm getting much out of it anymore. I need more help with social anxiety specifically and talking about my feelings and my week isn't cutting it. Not to say it hasn't helped me but I feel like I need something different, something more targeted. Do you have any suggestions? I would love to find a Doctor with your level of experience in this matter.

Dc Ali thank you for all your awesome videos. Really helpful! One of my biggest fears is that people notice that I’m anxious specially when my mouth articulation changes from normal to nervous and weird ( self-concours/restrained). This makes me desconect from people and to make NO eye contact with the person I’m talking to at hat moment. So embarrassing and frustrating… What should I do? What exercises should I try? How can I talk in a relaxed manner? Thank you so much !!❤

this is awesome

Really helpful thanks🙂🙂

Of all the examples in this video, the one that really made me cringe was going up to a stranger and greeting them as if I know them. I think one of my fears is to get something that should be obvious wrong and then embarrass myself. I get really anxious when I have to wish people a happy birthday (because what if I got the date wrong?) or when I have to by a bus ticket from the bus driver (what if I pronounce the name of the bus stop wrong and/or get on the wrong bus?). Also, two years ago I had a garden and barely used it because it made me really anxious to think about being observed while in my garden (what if I mow the lawn in a weird way or do something else that's wrong?).

Just lost my gf primarily to this. Killing the vibe in public always scared to be myself around new people. I truly hope this videos helps me solve my problem and learn to live a better way of life.

Hi Doctor Ali Mattu ! My anxiety stems from the fact that I don't articulate myself well. I end up being misunderstood so often that I feel lazy correcting people.

Hey Dr Ali. I think some social anxiety is from hearing loss. It contributes to mine. Hearing aids seem to be the answer, but they are way less than perfect even when you get top of the line.

My Core fear is been Judged by other people I never had Social Anxiety I just developed it by been isolated from people.

When I'm anxious, I'm afraid people think I am wrong and mediocre. Guess I have some serious perfectionism problem.

My biggest fear it getting taken advantage of and the humiliation of being taken advantage of

I have become very interested in politics the last few years. One thing that helped me last summer was petitioning! I had to ask hundreds of people if they wanted to "sign my petition so my candidate can get on the ballot in November". It took my out of my comfort zone and with my main core fear being rejection, it helped me practice that too. I definitely had people tell me no, I also had people who asked questions and I didn't know how to answer. It was amazing exposure therapy and it always felt so good afterwords. Petitioning is great too because you still feel a sense of accomplishment. even if I had 100+ rejections I still got many that said "yes". My advice, even if you don't like politics, find a local independent political party that needs help collecting signatures . the exposure to rejection, criticism, and embarrassment are real but it's so rewarding to have the accomplishment of collecting signitures AND facing your fear

What sucks is that I want to get better, but I absolutely do not want to go into public and expose myself in an embarrassing way. This is what makes me feel so stuck. These kind of tips really make me feel like I am doomed to be an outcast the rest of my life.

This video is great!! But if anyone tries to follow up every single tip that is given (those practical exercises), that person is actually gonna end up being hated 😅 😂 But I feel good after watching this, it's nice to see people who have been through the same problem giving tips and solutions, cause I often feel lost and can't find a way out of this

I am quite introvert . I don't why it makes me shy when I face guests or talking to strangers. Even it has become difficult talking to relatives😢but I talk with my friends and parents without any fear. I will try these tips

Recently, my graphic design work was redone (I had ask for feedback mutliple times and did revisions). Once it went to Social Media Dept, it was redone with what I feel are revisions done by a 1st year computer science student. My fear was I was going to make it look that awful because this was my first time doing something for our Dept. Im still upset about it because it went countywide.

11:05 if you freeze this frame it looks like he’s teaching people how to be a menace 😂😂

I want to try exposure therapy, specifically asking someone what their favorite show is or some other form of survey.

Mine is so bad, i feel like people might call me names, my heart begins to pump so hard like it's going to pop out of my chest😢

Hi Dr.Ali I am a college student. My anxiety and fear is When I entering the other class When I meet a crowd and when I talking with girls How do I overcome?

My core fear is that I'm a coward. If i am a coward, i am afraid of standing up for myself, standing up for others, doing what's right. I am scared that people will know I am weak, which will reduce my value from their POV. Which means I will be worthless to them. All my achievements won't matter.

Dude you're a genios

"Make friends with it". Yes, indeed. When I was a newly graduated and hired engineer, I was immediately given higher-level responsibilities because I had worked my way through college while working part-time at that company. I had received so much support and flexibility there, that it directly contributed to my academic success (as did the pay, as I was an independent student). I had to present my designs in Design Review meetings, where peers and management would review my work and offer suggestions. To me, these "suggestions" felt like rejection, harsh criticism, attacks even. A huge change compared to the pre-graduation relationship. My anxiety and stress raged. I began visibly sweating, fidgeting and exhibited many of the other signs of panic. Finally, in one meeting, unable to contain myself further, I broke down and started "ugly crying". My boss took me aside and gently helped us both understand what was going on, and what we could do about it. The underlying cause was clearly my warped perception of what absolutely was very constructive criticism. This was before I started to receive effective treatment for my depression, so I was dealing with that as well. I was basically a crunchy depressed core within a fluffy anxiety wrapper. The conversation took me to a very simple place. Before interacting with ANYONE on a professional basis, I'd repeat a simple mantra: "I NEED feedback to succeed. I LOVE criticism!" This put me in a near-ideal receptive listening state, encouraging me to "lean in" to the criticism, to try to obtain all I possibly could from the interaction. This change in perspective triggered an enormous change in my professional demeanor and conduct. In particular, it encouraged me to go the extra mile when delivering my own feedback, making me a much better collaborator. The anxiety was still there, deprived of its power, though it did still serve to keep me on my toes! Friends with criticism? Sure. Then it turned into a superpower.

I get anxious just thinking on the possibility that I asked out 5 different people, one of them accepts it and now I'm in a situation where I have to somehow explain to that person why I'm not interested😂😂

I have a major fear of not being good enough and being poor like majority of my family before me..!

Trying to get off SSRIs I have had two major panic attacks. There were no triggers. Now I live in fear of these happening any time l leave the house, I've also developed claustrophobia. Long drives alone, I'll have anxiety attacks.

I have health anxiety but in anxiety I have sweating a lot and i focus more on it it cause my social anxiety because I thought if I sweat in front of them it really embrassing

My core fear is that when ever I set with bunch of people or friends and they all r looking to me and when they smile or target me than I get out of control and my mouth become shivering and feeling crying

My core fears are: abandonment and rejection. It always happened to me. It hurts that the people Itusted most chose to leave me and not to be part of their life anymore.

Even imagining myself doing these exercises makes me anxious😭😭

Every time I ear someone laugh I think its about me. I think they are talking in my back. Im scared of being anxious.

Hi Dr. I can't find this video you mentioned- how to start overcoming anxiety with exposure

I believe, overall, it's a strong fear of shame.

I tried rejection therapy once, it went wrong because people started saying yes.

So I just have to get myself in such situations that trigger my fears? Will that really help? And how?

I'm anxious about being anxious in front of people! Its hard for me to stay socially connected and I often feel trapped or overwhelmed. When the discussion turns to me, I really panic. I struggle to concentrate and stay on conversation. I just want to run off and be alone. I was once a social Butterly and thrived in social situations. I don't know what has happened to me.

I actually like being alone😅but when I’m around people or someone then my anxiety attacks 😢

“Let’s go around introduce ourselves “