Toxic FATHERS 

Idk man

Idk man

Idk

we'll never know

Faliure

pain

true

Fine so far

Off the deep end

Lets be honest, no one answers this question honesty, let’s be real, you probably unconsciously said I’m fine or words to that effect because unless your actually honest or comfortable with reply with the truth, would the person you are talking to be mentally prepared for the implications of their “consideration of your well being”

I can feel this because I have it in my real life. sometimes I feel sad about seeing my grandfather drinking again. he's just like father in this video... but sometimes he's saying words that hurt me deeply. and I'm thinking again about is it just regular words and he will forget it soon or it's that type of words which drunk people say, because they think about it alot, but when they sober they'll never say it... 'cause their tongue's tied.

"i only have you son. Only you.. Please dont leave me , not now. Not like that" shit hits home.

well that's reality for you

@@user-qn1wo1yg4sIt really does, man.

@Literally not ur mom W8 til you have to deal with a toxic lottery ticket buyer parent

ok amigo

Wym by greedy? Doesn’t sound like you meant money

@@reedy_9619alcoholism holds a tight grip on someone and it wants you to

That's what atheism and protestantism does. You are right

@Telepture No, it's this one you're referring to ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-wd8IwAekty0.html

Physically is worse

@@ausername1972 Just tell us you were neglected

@@buttnakedsnake9357 and what exactly makes you think that? Because I said something any common person would say?

Hang in there, life gets better.

Muselo to být velmi těžké, přeji štěstí do budoucna

At least hes there ...

yea use to see my dad get drunk and my mom and dad getting into huge yelling arguments dishes plates were a common thing to find in the trash at my house hold

I feel you

I mean my dad was in my life but I left pretty early on & haven't talked to him in like 2 decades, pretty much. & he hasn't bothered to reach out to me. In a way my father in law brings out things, & triggers things. Only the father in law is way worse. He's a pos I'm not all that familiar w/ & I pretty much hate him. It's like have u entertained your own kids values at all? Other than to prey on how u warped their self worth.. so they can feel dependent enough for validation... not that they shouldn't have grown up themselves. But wow dude, Still Not trying. But have u even just bought them materials? Bc somexs just buying stuff is way easier. But nope. Nothing. More like stealing, expecting the kids to be that daddy type (fixing his car, paying for everything. Right down to expecting ins. $), treating them more like friends to party w/, talking sh about the mom bc thats all he can do, less action, more words that don't even bother w/ a solution. & its like let's pass his values onto the next. & then onto the next. I know parents have such a huge part in their kids development. But somexs ppl even manage to skip out on that part. Bc being irresponsible, being spiteful, seeking attention in all the wrong ways, not taking accountability, & busy playing the blame game, talking even more ish just to, while thinking the world owes bc you're oh so sad, is def the bigger pic. The main pt. No, go back to ur self indulging sh, b4 u mosey ur way on over here. He's legitimately outside now talking to these neighbors prob half his age playing w/ remote vehicles. Prob low key concerned about all the drama we cause... leaving out parts, trying to paint some pic about how he's the sh. & poor him type vibes. Bc he's everything.. What adult is that invested in ppl like that? When he really just acts like he's jealous of everyone!!! if there wasn't enough going on in their lives/ heads... first off u damn old geezer you're washed up & uncool. They don't even wanna f w/ u like that. Theyre just most likely trying to be polite bc you're an idk- ELDER. Social cues much? How embarassing. They prob don't even want to f w/ him even for good xs. & predictably he's always got all these questionable imaginary "bitches" ( that wouldn't even bother w/ him either) that r half his age. Somexs they're my age & he has to let it be known. 1 of the many many many many reasons I can't stand the dude! He's disgusting! The lowest of the lowest wouldn't even want that. 1) u don't have sh. Not even a car. 2) u don't save = u have no $. 3) u room mate it up w/ ur own son. Lol, when could he possibly even have the chance to get it on. Bc shouldn't u have been building yourself since waaaaay back?! Ironic how his crutch is bc mommy died. Mommy who gave him everything. Which every chance he gets, "you would've loved her. She would've bought u anything u wanted..." gah damn this dude. I've never seen such huge of a mooch. Ever. Scrawny mia grill lookin crackhead. It's funny to me how he thinks I'm missing out on so much if he bails. Kind of a little sad for my hubby on how he desperately yearns for him. No matter what. But it's also a reason on y he's such a lil b about sh. Makes me actually admire how much my dad's been through & all the actual typical male behavior he displays. Building foundations from the ground up. Literally too. And I dont even like the dude.

There but not there, only recently realizing how much that messed me up

wow, wouldnt have thought you watch these kind of videos, keep up the good work, both of y'all!

Strange finding you here! Lone wolf :)

i love your vids

Cant assume anything but im going through some similar stuff. Become Unconquerable from your videos helped me get a brighter vision. I truly hope this situation can get better

What a nice surprise seeing you here, recently started watching all of your buddhism and stoicism videos. Man have they helped. (:

I dont know how that feels but soon ı will become an actual adult and that is one of the worst things ı can imagine because ı cant even talk with my family. Sorry for you loss even if ı dont understand you be strong man you can be a mountain if you want.

@@howlingwolf9906 ik even I can't look anyone in the eye even my family but I am trying to improve myself in school and and least straightening my posture so that I can be as confident as I was before

I'm sorry to hear that, may he Rest in Peace.

@@crazyraptor2907 hope you do that mate. I hope all of have good families and jobs.

Sometimes I think that if he wouldn't been a great father, I wouldn't miss him so much...

Be blessed you have the mental capacity to do so, many can't take the concept.

@@jackvalentine7403 They dont want to, youd understand this if youd actually knew how it was.

@@eeurr1306 oh yeah, I forgot you were there every second of my life and know me so well. Sorry.

Opposite is true in my live

@@jackvalentine7403 I cant see what you typed for some reason

For a dumb sitcom father, he says such wise words.

Does he say that before or after strangling his son?

@@UniverseShinobi Yes.

Women shave

Everyone gansta until your dad says “I’m going out to get some shaving cream”

Proud of you, Row. Deciding not to follow him is hard but it's the hard and brave thing to do. It will be worth it.

Relatable +1000

Just like me, i never met my father until i Was 7, i hate him since that moment, imagine, you dont know this person but he start to cry to you when you dont act like he want, all my life he compare me to my cousins, "they eat faster than you, you always lose, you arent like me, when i had your age.... and he start to says a lot of bullshit. Yes, is stupid this comparation, but this happens, and a lot of stupid shit like this, how can yo have confidence if your own father talk to you like that...? Now, when he start to talk like he know everything about me, i remember him this kind of things he do, and he only say: thats was in the past, you need to grow up..... (i still learning english)

good for you dude I applaud you 👏🏻

@@Delverk You have a great English Delverk. I'm sorry fr what you've been through with your dad. Time will pass and you will be a free man - from his shadow and from hate. It's time to let yourself feel it because it will pull you further in life, motivate your to be better. It looks like time passes slow but its actually quite fast - and feelings we thought were forever are gone someday. You'll be a great man, have a great wife and family, and love will fullfill you in a way that the past will be gone, although you will carry the lessons you learned with you. Wish the best to you and all the people reading who went through the same.

Well done m8 wish you the best with your life journey

Do you plan to forgive your father? I think it will free you from a lot of burden but i still haven't done it myself. When i want to, my mind screams not to do it with heavy emotions and invents excuses, its hard.

@@Sturmtruppe1997 i personally want to forgive my dad but yh my mind would torment me if I do I prolly cant for the time being

@@Sturmtruppe1997 Yes I have but don't want him in my life.

@@hisheeelijah1482 I understand. Last year i forgave my mum. It was realy hard, as you said my mind tormented me but the moment i got the 3 words out, it went away and all resentment was gone. If only i could say the same to my father. I think my fears and anger would finaly go away.

@djo lo all I’m saying is it can be worse but yea toxic relationship.

@djo lo Yeah he loves his fatehr too much to leave him, when he really wants too

hey did u miss the point of this

That type of dependence is not real love lol! That's called being a shit father

But it's a toxic relationship. you've seen how it started and how it ends

Unrealised potential and the drudgery of the day to day…

It’s probably a combination of guilt at seeing others as robots (even if somewhat justified) and the discomfort that you will probably be seen that way by others

Yes

the fact that they are just in the background, epole you might never know and simply exist, die and you would be none the wiser , they lives have no meaning to us and minenial thinker intentionally or not, depicts them with these faces as these npc's to potentially highlight that

Orange man bad

You really are.

you are luky

It’s tragic that having a caring and supportive father is now considered lucky or blessed instead of just being the norm

Me too

@@maximilianoferrer6841 yeah, it should be the bare minimum, yet still considered as lucky. Having a supportive and caring family who doesn't emotionally, mentally(oh phisically) @bu$e you and mainpulate you and not support you or even care. Hating your family is considered bad, but having a good one is "rare/lucky". What has this society become?

Forsaking marriage is a path that you can’t go back on, it’s actually such a vile thing especially with kids. It’s like their lack of faith in marriage ties to their lack of faith in God.

So he did it? He committed the S?

No he just disappeared lmao. I hear him trough phone once every few months

same here, no alcohol, no drugs, but after mom left he just goes to bed or yells, the only time he talks to me now is to lecture me or cry to me. i feel bad for wanting to move far away but it’s hard to handle being an emotional crutch to someone you don’t even know anymore.

The same for me, I have a Father with an Important job so I never see him, It’s like If he left us, since he left our Familiars like Grandpas, Uncles and that threat us differently. They hide things from us, never Invite us to important things like they used to. Because we don’t have who they cared for. And I can’t see my Mother’s familiars. I feel so alone sometimes, but anyways, It will get better, I hope

i am so sorry to hear that man are you okay now? was that recent or years in the past? how is your relationship with your parents now? sorry for spamming, im just very interested in your story

I'm sorry to hear that and good on you for doing that. It's not easy. It's funny how family can be either a fantastic thing or a horrible thing. I didn't have it as bad as you, but I am so different from my parents in everything i do and opinions I have that I simply couldn't handle it anymore. They have always been supportive but somehow I feel like they are complete strangers to me and that there is no connection between us. I finally moved out and I can finally be myself. As long as you live at your parents you are under their control. It works if you have a great connection with your family, but for people like you and me it's never going to work in our favor and it's gonna feel like a prison.

This is exactly the right way to handle such a situation. Leaving secretly so they couldn't convince you to stay was a good choice

@@Luffa187 bro i am in the same situation, i have no connection with them

how are you? i hope you are doing fine

Mhm

tak

MilleniaThinker co raz częściej dodawał polskie smaczki w filmikach to i musiał się pojawić taki komentarz w końcu xD

Ma potencjał być jednym z większych "polskich" youtuberów

@@wercengetoryks4579 Nooooo

Yeah i can relate dude

Be strong boy.

im sorry to hear that bro

What is up with step dads and their atrocious reputation in the West? It is like I barely hear any good anecdotes about them.

At least he is your stepdad, you are not emotionally connected to him like someone is to his real father, and imagine that real father is also very abusive and he is beating you, so the mixture of love for your father and fearing him everyday thinking is it now when he will beat me again, and living like that for almost 20 years make such an impact on your subconcious. The worst thing is he is not even alcoholic or anything that would cloud his mind, so you're asking yourself, does he hate you or is it something else...

toxic sons better

YES

@@bane8305 adopted toxic sons better

@@FrangoTraidor nooo cuz that would just be a typical son mad at the stepdad for obvious reasons.... we wanna see real toxic sons reasons for being toxic to the father

Same especially the part where the father said don’t leave me not like this

Same.

Ok cool

Same can relate, i have mad respect for my dad and care for him, he works hard, helps other people, puts up with my moms bs, and trys his best to care for me. My mother i have a hard time seeing eye to eye with, and she's on that fine line of having anger issues, but my dad's a good man

pause

Always thank God

@@bane8305 ?

@@joederp5940 solid father

Millenial thinker should use that as a plot for the next episode of this story. Wojak's father may be a hurt and depressed drunk, but he's really not a bad man. I'd like to see Wojak turn his father's life around and develop a stronger bond with him just as Chad did initially with Doomer. If anything, I think after losing the love of his life (all too relatable) this man deserves that much. To see him and his son overcome, grow, and develop without her.

I am so glad my uncle changed. Couldnt say that for my father. Its really heartwarming when alcoholics change for the better. My father stole stuff from my grandparent's, called ENTIRE family of my mother's names even after my uncle literally saved his life (he got epilepsy attack which could have killed him if uncle wasnt near our house)

I'm pretty sure my Filipino dad is a lot different than y'all he's a lot more unpredictable, and can speak fluent English, (seems to be a power that all Filipino fathers have)

I have an alcoholic father. My parents have daily disputes regarding money. When he's sober he is a really nice person but when the alcohol gets him he turns into someone who doesn't care for his family. He can't get himself to leave alcohol and as a result I'll leave him as soon as I become an earning adult. I have a traumatic childhood because of him and it's still going on. I'm 18 now but I know this daily ruckus is damaging something inside me which I'll never be able to heal. I just wish my life to get better.

Toxic masculinity isn’t real it’s a sham made by the left

@@Koenig-Kikyou grown men who abuse their partners and/or children are real, not a sham... Masculinity being demonized? That's a sham and a problem

@@Jonalius that’s not toxic masculinity that’s just a abusive father

@@Koenig-Kikyou same thing

@@Jonalius it’s not because toxic masculinity is a term made by feminists, it isn’t even dictionaries

to be honest having a partially absent father already makes you diffrent, my dad works in another country and comes for a week every 3 weeks so i was getting raised mainly by my mom and comparing myself to my friends it's like comparing a kitten to a lion

@@JustMatt2137 ahhh I see.

Not at all. My father was emotionally absent but I still learned a lot from him, his work ethic, and the way he approached life. It would be very different if he was gone

@@heavenIy1 well I guess I am wrong

Honestly I don’t think there’s one that’s better than the other plus they are combined with other trauma creating unique issues. It’s all shit

What are you talking about? Stop trauma dumping on RU-vid

@@grassmonkeyO5 It’s literally the whole point of the video and there are a ton of similar comments, we are just sharing our experiences. I would agree with you if I wrote this under a gaming video, but look at the topic in question! If you don’t like it, maybe watch something else or don’t read the comments?

What a horrible experience

toxic sons

@@bane8305 you mispelled effeminate

@@リンゴ酢-b8g Nah I don't mean effeminate I mean toxic

@Yes 973 Why you picturing yourself as a clown bro? have some self respect!

Damn, feel sorry for you. Hope you can tough through it.

@@dannydanny865 Thank you for your support! For the most part, the problem is that this situation is just spinning in my head until now. Of the feelings that arise, I can only indicate hatred, but not anxiety or fear. Let's just say that to some extent I managed to overcome this conflict

Stay strong bro! We support you

I hope life is getting better for you and stay strong.

Не раз проходил через подобное, будь силён! Не стоит впадать в уныние или ненависть! Помни, что нас не убивает, делает нас сильнее! Впадать в ярость, как твой отец делал, считается поступком недостойным человека, тем более мужчины, какую религию ты бы не исповедовал. Тем уж более с ножом бросаться на собственного сына. Наше дело - вырасти достойными людьми вопреки, не совершая подобных ошибок. Будь силён не только физически, но и психологически. Ярость выдаёт человека слабого волей/больного депрессией или тревожностью. Работай над собой, искорени лень, тревоги и травмы, тогда ты разорвёшь этот порочный круг травмированных людей который тянется на протяжении множества поколений. Каждый в этом мире имеет собственный идеал отца, и к этому воображаемому идеалу стоит прислушиваться, ведь он бесконечно добр и силён. Emperor protects!

But everyone abandons him, because men are supposed to know how to stand on their own. That's why he drinks his life away, because he no longer accepts that reality and didn't have the strength or support to contest it.

I don't think that he can get up regardless of how much help he receives. His life is pretty much over. He lost in this rat race

@@deltaxcd that’s true, he has become complacent in a sense but eventually, things will change with or without him due to the seemingly randomness of the universe to an extent, therefore I feel he needs the *right* help, not help he can become codependent on but to help himself

@@asidender2674 When people are using term "help", they usually arume putting the person back on the rat race , back on the grind. The "help" implies that somehow you restore the delusional belief that you have to work harder and then you eventually get a great reward for all your suffering. I woud rather suggest other kind of help where you just get in peace with your situation and give up. There will be no reward for your work and effort. So his father is pretty much doing the right thing, he is just living his days in peace. But I suspect that the reason why he drinks is because he somehow feels ashamed of himself after all.

@@deltaxcd well at that point, why continue living? Why struggle when it will all be meaningless in the end? It’s what you decide to do with your life that put meaning and reward to your own effort not for someone else’s gain unless it’s yours, to be selfish in this way means to be able to make someone you are proud of, however sometimes you can’t feel that way about your situation, that’s where the source of your true happiness comes from, your loved ones who will help you and pick you up when you have fallen, well that’s just my opinion

Murdererd usually don’t have emltiona and you dont want to live with a person like that!!

Yeah but my point is that in the end on the other side, the person might be going through something. For example a villain, usually nobody cares about his feelings.

@@alphav6081 my brother. Hes lived his while life as a bully and was lazy and mean to mom. Now shes gone and hes a double amputee with diabetes and neuropathy and i look after him. Every day I recall his abuse when we were younger.

@Lil Queerdoe 100% not real

Do you think he is worth forgiving?

same

Humans are social creatures and a dumb one.

Are you a woman or gay/SJW?

@@candide1065 omg its Nietzsche say the line Nietzsche, God is what??? Is he dead?? Omg so edgy I love Nietzsche cus he’s atheist he said that God died. But reading all the way is so boring cus he said what will replace it? Like dude, there’s no God everyone is free

@@uranusaquarius7394 what

@@candide1065 dude, you digging too deep, it's just an idiot who believes that children always the problem and not the parents(this is common mentality especially in asia) ALSO WESTERNERS GROW UP GODDAMIT STOP MAKING EVERYTHING POLITICAL

Well it depends what we call toxic. Most teenagers are at some point toxic , but parents usualy teach them how to believe. At 20 I really thought about my teenage years and I was ridiculous and kind of disrespectful , but my parents did a good job to turn this messy impulse filled teenager into a responsible adult.

For anyone wondering, i'm feeling better, i got the help i needed.

reminiscing imaginary times oof

I always wondered why anyone cares about that anyway. my parents never said that to me as far as I remember and I never really cared to make them proud of me. in fact the idea that someone has to be proud of you is like some form of narcissism. because you should be fine as you are and not care about what others think about you.

My father told me this yesterday when I passed my REFA seminar. hes a great father.

@@deltaxcd saying "I'm proud of you" is saying I'm happy for you, great job, keep going, you're great. It's not narcissism but I understand where you're coming from. You have to understand that these are your parents not other people. It's important to let your child know that you're happy for them, because your child loves you so much. They don't want to feel like a failure to you, They want to make you see you raised an amazing kid. So what you think of them is important to them because you're very important them. If a parent says something mean to the child it's gonna hurt more than some random kid at school. Do you understand where I'm coming from?

@@grackers8223 well yes i sort of understand where you are coming from.In my family ihis issue just never even happened there were no concept of pride entirely. but speaking about those other things i agree.

@This is Ireland It makes no logical sense. Being proud requires some kind of achievement, being prid of the kid whose only achievement is maintaining body temperature between 36 and 37c is not a good reason and it is counterproductive in all aspects. because of child is smart enough he will notice that his parents are lying and if he is idiots he will be puzzled why the only people who say that are his parents. Love is not worship. You do not need to put on the pedestal the person you love. Love has to be unconditional and child has just to be aware that it is absolutely unrelated to his behavior or performance , he has to know that even if he is worst useless piece of shit it will change nothing as if he was best child in the whole town his parents will love him all the same. developing connection between love and performance is exactly what is later causing problems in life because people are trying to buy love.

I hope you're okay know and everything is getting better for you.

'put his hands on me' this has been ringing in my head whenever i read similarly constructed phrases ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-_W7u7g7oV68.html&ab_channel=CaptainSpankington

I would say yes, it's morally OK to leave. If circumstances dictate that the son must stay with his dad, like he has a medical condition or something, then he can at least "separate" from his dad symbolically, i.e. not enabling his dad's self-destructive habits and allowing his negative influence. It's vital that the son separates from his parents, he won't stand on his own two feet as an independent man until he does this. If you defer to the Bible as a moral compass, the book also talks about the importance of the child (now a man) "leaving his parents" to start his own family.

@@mairuzo Very interesting point of view. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I agree, there is a huge importance to take this step in order to build up his own life. Definitely in this case it seems that it would be destructive for the son to stay. His father has demons to fight but it seems to be losing and forces his son to share his loss.

@@TJCombo2 Thanks for the good question, man. Indeed, it would be destructive for him to stay. Ultimately, the father has his own burden to bear, and it isn't right for him to compel his son to help him bear it. It's equally the son's fault (he's an adult now) for choosing to bear his father's burden. He needs to let it go, no matter the consequence.

Family is important, but no one chooses to be born. You exist purely because your parents wanted you to, so you don't actually owe them anything. That's why your direct descendants are the only persons in the entire world you have an obligation towards. Everyone else is there by accident. You may think someone leaving home when possible and not caring about their parents at all ever again is an ungrateful thing to do, but everyone has the right to do that. You keeping in touch with your parents and looking after them when they grow old is completely voluntary.

bro im so proud of you! you are a better man then him

learn from it and overcome