Especially if it's only convenient for the management. But they weren't acting like a family when you needed time to be there for your family to leave work in and you were willing to work extra hours or work from home to make app for that time. But they're trying to make it difficult because. They want everything to be convenient on their end
When my brother-in-law died and my sister needed me and my Mom, my work not only gave me as much time off as I needed - they footed the ENTIRE BILL for our travel because we didn't have the money. I cried when I had to leave that job. Good companies are far and few, but they do exist.
Bereavement leave is not federal law. There are some states that have it but I think it's only 4 or 5. So it's mostly on an employer basis. This is unfortunate and should be looked at.
I had one job where the manager said I couldn't get the time off to go see my dying grandmother. I immediately called HR in front of him and asked for an emergency leave of absence, for the 3 weeks I asked for, they said granted. They emailed my manager within minutes that the time off was approved. *When it comes to family, never accept NO as an answer. Go over their heads until you get the answer you want. And be willing to quit to get what you need.* *Family is forever, jobs come and go.*
@@whatsamatteryou791 Hi, Deepest sympathies. Not every HR is a good one. Sometimes it's in the words, and phrasing that you use. Sound plain and simple, get treated that way. Use big fancy legal sounding words to say the same thing, and they grow a little bit afraid of what you're capable of. Works for me usually. I just say a quick prayer first, and ask God to send me the right words to say. Worked so good one time, I had to go home and look in the dictionary to find out what those words meant...and I used the right words correctly. I just don't ever remember learning those words until that day. Maybe I heard them on TV, IDK.
I once had a job that denied my leave to take off for my sons kindergarten graduation, I put the request in two weeks ahead, that was denied, then offered to come in late after the graduation, denied…I went back to my desk and started packing my personal things, one of my co-workers asked me what was going on, I explained…my son was not going to lookout into that audience at 5yrs old and not see anyone there for him, the sacrifices of a single parent…the next day I started job hunting…
When people (or a company) show you who they are, you need to believe them. Good for you - jobs are plentiful, but graduating kindergarten only happens once. A 5 yr old brain is still developing, and deciding how secure to feel in the world based on how important we show them they are. Well played Mama..
Isn't that sad that corporations don't care about that? But I bet you one thing that the executives of that company probably go to their children's events without questioning. So why do they have the right to tell their employees not to go?
@@davidgilbert7853 even when the execs do that, the reasoning for it might be different. For example, narcissists only do this for the sake of being seen as "good" parents - however not by their children, but others around them. Bosses and managers (also politicians) often ARE narcissists. They crave for jobs, that bring them attention and power over others.
I worked for my local POLICE. My dad passed "unexpectedly" at the age of 59. I was given 3 days "compassionate leave". Because it was an unexpected death it had to go to the coroner. It was Saturday so the coroner didn't get to it until Monday. My dad passed on 22 November and we buried him on the 2nd Dec. All time beyond the 3 days "compassionate leave" was taken from my annual leave. To bury my dad. Then I was told I would not receive my PERFORMANCE related pay rise due to my "Attendance". I resigned shortly after.
My employer did something similar after my mum died. I took 2 weeks annual leave as I was not coping very well. She died during the COVID lockdowns and I was dealing with it by myself. When I got back to work I was called into my supervisor’s office and written up for a mistake I had made, told to box my belongings immediately and moved to another department. I was then marked down on my annual appraisal, with the following statement: Needs to learn to deal with her personal life better, and not allow it to affect her work.
I think it started with the creation of stock market, when even your boss start having to report to someone above them, and money became more important than humans
Personally, when you’re in a company that has over 50 employees, they don’t care for you at all bottom and top line! They just want to use employees like toilet paper.😊😊😊😊
Lol! The correct question is when did they START caring? Back in the day if you got injured and couldn't work, too bad, so sad. There was another guy right behind you waiting for that job. Companies do what they do for employees because it's better to retain people than to have to constantly train new hires because everyone is leaving. Some companies are better than others but they all still slaves to the bottom line. It is what it us.
I think it's more like Batman, Patrick Bateman, and Veronica. The difference? No actual superpowers, but damn, that brain that the power behind the words 😂
Didn’t have a funeral, but my father just took a bad fall and my boss’s response was ‘let me know what I can do to help’. I’ve had to take off two days to take my mom to the hospital to be with him as surgery got pushed back. ‘Your mom needs you right now - keep me posted and I’ll bepraying for your dad.’
@@ryanellis2502 I've been in toxic environments and good ones. I'm beginning to think companies like @trenae77's are more common. I am very lucky in my current situation, but that is not the case for some of my friends.
@@ryanellis2502in my experience this is normal for big corporations and has been getting worse. At least in my company all decent managers were specifically targeted and removed
@@ryanellis2502 even an earlier supervisor with whom I had a rough relationship proved supportive when issues arose. I remember her telling me when I was taking Sick Leave to cover for my mom (she had a day care and was dealing with a uterine cancer diagnosis) ‘it’s called Family Emergency Leave - your mother is family and this is an emergency for her’
My uncle died and i found out while i was on my way into work. When i did get there to let them know i would not be there, i was a crying mess, and my manager looked me in the eyes and said "you dont get any bereavement days. Since an uncle is not considered immediate family". I said i would be taking the day and i left. Freakin heartless.
I’m sorry for your loss. Yes, my job doesn’t count aunts or uncles as immediate family. They do count in laws (including SIL and BIL). That was weird to me because you know your aunt and uncle as a young child.
Happened to me as well at the previous company I worked for, also my uncle. Unfortunately as I had no transportation at the time I couldn't go and still had to work even though he was blood relative, sad till this day. No matter what they threaten you with, companies are just people in buildings doing everyday business that can go on for a very long time. Family memories and time with loved ones can never be replaced, don't live with regrets like me, it will crush you 😢
@@GamegirlGamegirlGood advice!! I’m sorry for your loss, and I’m even more sorry that you were forced out of going to be with your family. It wasn’t your fault. ❤
When my brother passed, I told work I’m taking 3 days bereavement. They didn’t have that policy and I was out of PTO days. They REWROTE the policy to include 3 days bereavement. My brother always made my life better. Still does 💕
@@bunniewood how many do you get and how big are families where you live? Where I come from, if it was standard to take 3 days per family member, we would never work
(do not remember the name of the online commenter) Stated that he gave company 6 weeks notice in writing that he is quitting. Called in sick next day; never went back.
Good for you! I hope your next job is more how people should be! I mean, honestly, why can’t people just treat their employees with respect? Being nice is just a better way to live!
they are dishonest they know they are screwing with you and know they are lying but they are gaslighting you since they need you more than you need them, especially when no wants to work anymore or you have special skill set that they cannot hire cheap workers off the street. so basically in their hearts they are dishonest the bible calls that want of heart, lacking good motive.
I love Veronicas perspective. Would love to hear if she has ever actually said these things in the work place, because when I have I was fired later or management made my job so toxic I had to leave. Veronica has my complete respect.
Exactly! I've never been fired. As long as you're good at your job, they're stuck up shit's creek. I stuck around until something better came up and they scrambled for years to replace me. 😂
1., 2., 3., document, document, document 4. Be amazing at your job 5. Don’t check your personal email, Facebook, Instagram, make copies or anything else that is against company policy on company equipment. 6. Be a team player 7., 8., 9. Read the company handbook/policies and procedures thoroughly, be familiar with your local, state, federal laws as they apply to you., Don’t let them play you. 10. Be professional & learn skills to be better and more efficient. 11. Save $ and have a side hustle. It’s always good to have more than one source of income. Even if it’s a little. 12. Be Veronica
I had started a new job and was t-boned. I asked my supervisor if I could work through my lunches so that when I went to physical therapy I wouldn't have to lose any time. She told me no; that I had to just miss the time, but she was letting another employee do it. When it came time for the deposition, I fixed my schedule so that I wouldn't miss any appointments. ( I worked two hours from home). She called a supervisor higher than she, the program manager, and then told me that he said that if I left I could consider myself terminated. I emptied my desk of my property, completed my class, and gave her my ID and keys. 40 days later, I was working my current job. Here I am 15 years later and still there. She meant it for my bad, but God meant it for my good. 😊
I remember when my grandmother died and the woman I worked for at the time told me.I know your Grandma just died, but it's not fair to the company that you're going to be gone for 4 days.Can you not go to your grandma's funeral....best believe I went
And can bet if that happens in the person life abd they advise the office and you say same time what she said to you ot would be considered as inconsiderate and insubordination.
@stephanoc9814 yuuuuuuup. She tried withholding my paycheck. I'm not from New york, but my grandmother is. We needed one day to drive to New york, one day for the wake, one day for the burial ceremony and one day to drive back
Im curious...why IS IT that the US is literally 50 years behind everyone else? I mean this is basic stuff, it is. Bereavement leave is a fact for the rest of the world. I dont get it, why is it the "greatest nation in the world" is so backwards? Im serious. Why?
When my dad died, I had already worked my shift and call my boss and told her I needed to go. She said she could not allow me to go. I told her that I was not asking I was telling. And that when I get back, we would have a discussion on the way she was treating me. Her reply was that she would need a copy of the obit published in the local paper as proof Dad actually died. (What?) When I returned to work, I went to her office and made the paint peel off the walls. I did not use foul language but absolutely stood my ground. People treat you the way you allow them to treat you. I did not usually take the power lead but when I do it's satisfying. I always had outstanding job performance awards every year, so I felt I was a very good employee. Always accommodated when they needed extra things done. Always did my job100% every day. She was crying as I walked out.
@@carlyofearth I assume you mean when I got back. I put the newspaper with the obit in her inbox, I was always at work a couple hours before she started and neither I nor she ever said anything, she avoided me for a really long time. I think she thought she was punishing me by not speaking to me. I think maybe she thought I would go away. But I did not. And a year or so later I got a nice gold ring with a small diamond and company name on it for years of service and usually they were given out at a company function, she put it in my inbox and never mentioned it.
@@samridhithapliyal9014 Actually I really don't remember but there was a lot of how dare you's and what were you thinking when talking to me like that. And I will not allow you or anybody to treat or speak to me like that. But know, I always worked hard (I got outstanding job performance awards every year with bonus) and gave it my all and I was very good at what I did, and I acted like I did not need the job. I always treated those around me with loyalty, kindness and respect and I demand the same. Another trick I used, when someone says something that was what I considered wrong, just stand in a straight stance, look them in the eye and say nothing and just wait. They get uncomfortable and start stammering. Works every time just as long as you don't use it too often. I did notice towards the time I decided to call it quits that the new hires of the younger generation were different in attitude and work ethic, old tricks were not quite as effective.
power play had nothing to do with the company but you will do as I say or else. she was punishing her by refusing to let her earn her pay at home. humans sometimes handle power very badly, maybe that is why they get hired as managers?
Companies have really turned on their employees in the last decade. I’ve been told, after expressing interest in another department that I’m easily replaceable. Well good because they’ll be replacing me when I resign.
The harsh reality is that we’re all seen as replaceable as far as managers are concerned. There are reasons why employees are often called resources and just referred to as capacity in planning.
This was my experience with my former, micromanaging director. The pandemic was actually a God-send, since it allowed me to work from home and away from the toxic environment of the office. When we were finally allowed to return to work, that's when I decided to retire. It was a really hard decision because I loved my job and it had been a source of joy for a quarter of a century. I just couldn't take working with the director and her small circle of sycophants.
PERFECT response. "You can pay me a million dollars an hour and I still won't do it. And you can test me to see if I'm kidding". Exactly. They couldn't care less about your tragedy in the family but they expect you to hop to it when they have some BS emergency. These employers are something else.
Easiest way I shut down that "we're a family" thing at one workplace "If I died tomorrow y'all might be sad, but you can replace me. But if I died tomorrow, my parents could never replace me. So, they come first."
My employer once told me that my grandmother who raised me wasn't my immediate family and that they were docking my pay for the time off, several months after the fact. I had to make the arrangements and clean out her home and deal with all of the legal stuff, plus my devastating grief. Their reaction caused me to have panic attacks, which they used as an excuse to fire me because they feared it may become an issue for them.
I was with you until the panic attack stuff. I mean you can go find another job or not be corteus to them like Veronica here but start acting without control of yourself is something that can't exactly be tolerated. Is not kindergarten.
When the people around you say, "I'll do what's best for the company" as a response to decisions they have free will on- that's a sign of the "family" cult brainwash.
"Self-starter" They want you think it means you are proactive. What it really means is you'll get no support or guidance from management and you'll only hear from them when there's a problem you need to fix that they caused.
I'm so glad i have the management i have in my current role. When my dad died, i called my supervisor and said, See you in a week. She had no problem with that, and the team took turns covering for me. THAT is what a workplace should be.
I have NEVER requested time off. I've TOLD them WHEN I was taking time off, purely as a favor to the other employees, so management can staff appropriately.
My department was put under a different VP and she tried that family bullshit with me while also gaslighting me. I quit asap and I had been working there for 22 years.
You should not have had to quit. I wish she had had to quit. These videos are helpful for building skills. They assist in helping people have better and more effective responses.
I'm the supervisor who has a toxic director and she wants me to treat my team of 12 like they are children who can't be trusted. I refuse to do that, which leads to my continually being in trouble. I will bend over backwards for my team because they are hard-working, productive, and intelligent adults who work as a team. I got into management to become a better boss than I'd ever had and my newish boss hates that I am liked and respected by my team, so she's doing whatever she can to destroy that.
I was asked to do this under Obama’s admin by Eric Holder. Wanted me to translate and interpret when I was the only Spanish speaking staff at the facility. After having my leave denied, I stopped translating for them. I was given a direct order and I refused. “Can she do that???” Yes. I didnt learn to speak Spanish while being paid by the govt. They disciplined me and I was sent home unpaid leave. I filed a lawsuit against the Obama administration and they settled out of court. Hehehehe.
Having been in call centers and customer service way too long...Veronica knows exactly how we're treated. She's my hero helping me get through a few more years of abuse before I finally retire.
I lasted five years in a toxic call-center. At one point 1/3 of my department was out on "stress leaves"; true story. I can remember bursting out in tears on many drives home from work after being belittled, brow-beaten and just treated so horribly by a narcissistic manager. I made very good money there, and pinched my pennies so I could get out of there. I finally did and am now retired. These days I still cry once in awhile, but they're tears of joy because I feel so blessed to be where I am.
@@deerhaven3350 I think if everyone was required to work for a period of time as a restaurant server and in a call center...there would be much more empathy. I went into one of the largest banks in the world being a complete loving people person and left there nearly hating the human race. It paid more than I had ever made up to that point, but I felt like I sold my sold to the devel. It was one of the last few jobs to offer a pension, so I was determined to vest in the 5 years required. I quit the very day I qualified. It won't be much of course, about a hundred twenty dollars a month for as long as I live. I'm now 4 years away from locking into a state pension, hopefully my last job forever. Like you, I have saved nearly every penny I could and lived below my means to be free of this enslavement. Congratulations on your retirement. It's a dream, hard earned, well deserved come true.
When a company brings up being a work family they usually arent. If they always tell you they are team they usually arent. If you ever hear these things in an interview run. A work family/team never has to say they are those things. They also wont brag about it or say it at all. They will show you, and not talk about being one.
Dad got cancer in 97. Was terminal and had months to live. In august i took leave , fmla. I was a medic so i kept him home till last 3 days. He passed in December. I returned to work right after the funeral. Boss (local government) said i left them once, why should he take me back? After a very short legal battle, he was fired, i accepted a settlement, a raise with a promotion. His job. F you buddy. LoL
I had this almost exact same conversations with my micromanager boss in Northvale, NJ. Only I said, "Test my patience, if you like. My lawyer loves people like you in court." It was way before coronavirus! She was questioning why I needed 2 days off for surgery. Asking me, "What kind of surgery? Why would I need 2 days? Who is your doctor? Why can you not come back to work the same day?" My response to each of these questions was, "Apologies, but I do not feel comfortable discussing my medical needs with anyone except my doctors. Please respect that." Micromanager then dragged me into HR. Where I told HR representative the same thing and had my attorney on my cell phone speaker. Oh, the micromanager was "reprimanded". But I left a year & 7 months later when I was only given an $.08 an hour raise because, "You disrespected our work family protocols. I expect answers to my questions whether, or not, I am your doctor." Micromanager still works there with a really crappy staff which she wholeheartedly deserves!!!
I have had similar incident happen. My boss and colleagues take 5-6 weeks vacation in entire year in separate slots of 1-2 weeks at one time, but I asked for 4 weeks in entire year to visit my sick mom and I don't even take a day off otherwise in entire year, but was denied that due to too much workload, they won't approve it. Then I told my boss that I am taking vacation just like he and others on the team are, he said he will think about it, I still submitted 4 weeks request and it was approved eventually. I am yet to make the trip, but I hope they don't create last minute drama because of my vacation.
Let them do what they want, go anyhow. They will survive without you, and if they can't- ask for a pay increase. Besides, you need to spend some time with your mom. You take care of you and those you love, there are plenty of companies looking for good employees who actually show up. ❤❤
Hey hey hey. If your with gives you trouble about visiting your mom, take the days off as FMLA. Your job can't say no and there is legal recourse if they act out
@@acecala3576 Go, do not allow any drama to stop it. I think the point is this, if you ask for earned time off and it's within the time period they require, why should you have to say what it's for?? That just allows everyone to be judgemental and decide if it's really necessary to their standards. We all put value on different things. If you asked off, you want off. Period. Now funerals are an exception. You don't have the notice to give and it should never be a problem. If it is take it up with HR and get everything in writing.
If the phrases "team player" and "family" come up, just get up and walk out. You already have a family that expects you to do stuff for free. You don't need another one.
i have done about 70 k unpaid overtime over the last 10+ yrs for my current employer as a construction supervisor , not being paid extra for that role , training & running crews of 3 - 10 people daily , i always accepted it because i had the experience & skills to pick up the slack for my employer & wanted the company to be succeed . speaking to my employer recently i realised they have no appreciation & don't even want to acknowledge what i have done for them .These short stories are quite relevant in regards to the workplace .
I had a death in the family and for the entire bereavement my boss was calling and texting me about work I had pre-submitted in anticipation of the time I would need off. He was calling me while I was AT THE FUNERAL and I literally told him that I didn't have access to my laptop because I was at the church and the casket was being brought out. When I came back to work I was told that I was overreacting.
Screw the boss, and take real time off to mourn your loss. Personally, when my Dad who was the survivor spouse, took ill I took three weeks off of unpaid Family Medical Leave before his passing, (it’s your right and human dignity to observe these rights. The law allows up to three months off work for this purpose). Thereafter was the funeral and staging his home for sale. I know it’s difficult to exercise what seems right to you. Do it anyhow. It’s good for the mind and the souls. ❤❤❤❤❤❤
03:20 “I don’t understand why this is becoming such a big deal right now because I’m not going to do it. Like, no matter what you say. You can ask me to leave but I’m not going to do this, no matter what. You could pay me a million dollars an hour and I would not do this for you. And you can test me to see if I’m kidding.”
Worked in an office of 50 people. Every single person but me worked from home (but could come to the office if they wanted; most didn't). Some days, I was the only person in the office. Every time I asked to WFH, I was told my role wasn't a remote one and someone had to be there to answer the phones and grab packages (99% of my role was computer based). I eventually quit without notice because this wasn't the only issue. IYKYK.
Wow. After all the toxic work experiences I’ve endured, your videos feel extremely cathartic. That makes me realize how many of these scenarios I’ve been through. I was punished for taking off on a Sunday at work, after my Dad had a stroke and was bleeding all over the place. My Mom couldn’t handle that and needed my help. The punishment was that everyone had to do these stupid tasks, and it was openly stated that it was because I took off, even though someone else had just taken off on a Sunday for family purposes, with 0 retaliation. I ended up quitting like a week later, on the spot, after being yelled at in front of everyone for something insignificant, and then given a second talking to in a meeting. Damn. That was years ago and it still burns. Thanks for your videos 🙏🏽
This is exactly how treated my wife Veronica at her job. She was loyal and very dedicated to the organization and she lasted over 20 years at that toxic pathetic place. Thank God she was always prepared and invested and saved and she managed to retire at the age of 50. We are now enjoying our retire lives together away from her chaotic, toxic work environment. Keep making these videos because some companies don't deserve dedicated workers that sometimes sacrifice everything for them and they give nothing in return.
I had numerous doctors say I needed work from home as a reasonable accommodation but my job said no. One year later the pandemic hit and suddenly work from home was ok. I asked if it could continue like my doctors suggested when we return to the office and was told no. I quit before I had to return and intentionally left a mountain of work for them to cover once I was gone.
In cases like that, you should not ask, you should just INFORM! And if the company does not agree, F them! Get fired from a company like that could be a blessing in disguise!
My mom had sudden onset terminal lieukemia and put in a hospice to die. I still had to work and commute 240 miles to be with her. The day of her funeral my boss messaged me to find out when I was back as there were rota’s to completed. When I returned to work they had removed two of my managers to recoup the costs of me being missing. Also, had a performance review to say that I’d not been on top of things for the last three months!
A woman taught me a very salient fact about toxic organisations at the beginning of my old career nearly fifty years ago. “Just remember, “ she said, “Sh*t rolls downhill.” Bad management creates a bad atmosphere everywhere in the chain.