Transform Your Relationship I Matthew Hussey 

So good! "The right one is someone who is willing to build with you." You can have chemistry with a person but if they aren't committed and willing to build a life with you they aren't right.

1. Admiration 2. Connection (mutual admiration) 3. Commitment 4. Compatibility . All needed to make someone “The One”.

“No one cares that you’re really great once they get to know you“ this is not a relationship video, this is in MasterClass of life that needs to be replayed paused and digested in a serious manner. Amazing insight.

There is a man the entire world needs to know.

I met Matthew Hussey on my birthday, Nov 7th, 4 years ago in LA! He was so humble & kind and took the time to take a photo with me and ask me a question or two about myself. I had joined his website & my birthday wish was to go to his conference. I was from San Diego and it had been hard meeting someone who wanted a long term relationship. It’s like a vacation state of mind there, however!!!!!!!Update: I had just met the man who would become my husband a year later- I applied ALL Matthew’s advice and we just celebrated 3 years marriage! I have to revisit this advice frequently - so that our relationship can develop over the years and grow together. Thanks Matt! (& Ed for having hm!)

"The real voyage of Discovery consists, not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes." - Proust

I am 56 minutes into this amazing conversation between two insightful, KIND men...and I don't want it to end! God bless you both!😊

"Your level of humility allows you to take a step back and evaluate others around you" I absolutely agree, I'm appalled at the amazingness of this discussion!

Most is lost in indecision, than in wrong decisions.

I'm recently widowed after 35 years in a great marriage where we loved ourselves and each other. I'm also a Relationship Coach and always learning. It is So Good to hear healthy men having this conversation. Thank you!!

Key to Great Relationships (not just romantic ones) - Keep your phone away, actually listen to the other person, don't expect gifts, love them for who they are, strive to help them with their success, be open and honest, be grateful for them and show them you care.

Yes staying in a relationship just because you've invested money, time, your entire heart. It doesn't mean it was a waste it just means it's time to move on. Sometimes that's the hardest thing to accept, because people look at it as a failure. Well I choose to look at it as the closing of a chapter an opening of a new one

I am 59 years old and i am going to Disneyworld for the first time ever in a few months. Thanks for sharing about it and the trash cans.

38:00 Ed nailed this point! The secret to sustaining a long-term relationship is maintaining intimacy, but you need excellent chemistry from the beginning. During the life of the relationship this can ebb and flow but you can only build it if the spark is in the relationship in the first place.

I've just watched this and I know where I went went wrong in my last relationship and I'm going to concentrate on loving me and not allowing my insecurities to push the next female away... thanks for sharing this

I am so blown away! This went from dating, intimacy, and business to kindness, narcissism, break ups and wake up calls, to our personal matrix, heart healing and recovery thru self love. To name a few! Watch to the end - the take aways are so insightful and thought provoking! Thank you both!

1:02:10 The matrix/mutation visual is one of the most profound things I’ve ever heard... speaks to the soul.

See your partner with new eyes! Wow

I swear I didn’t want this conversation to end!!! I feel like I am wiser already 😂 Thank you so much gentlemen 💕💕💕

Who else took notes ?!? Amazing quotes ! Wow What a great interview ! Been following Mathew since his first "Elvis Duran"morning show appearance and he never ceased to "wow "me ! 👏 👏 👏

I’d to think that I have a very good relationship with my husband. After listening to these guys I learned so much more🥰 There’s always room for improvement. Open mindedness is the key🙌🏼

Wow - the part about physical intimacy in relationships was spot on. Summed up a past relationship for me. When you constantly feel rejected, and you're desperately trying to warp someone into playing the part, you're just not compatible! Being in a relationship like that can make you lonelier than actually being alone ever would do.

3:38 instead of bringing passion to the thing we are doing, we look for the thing we are doing to bring us passion 4:26 people become the one based on what we build with them 5:17 you can connect with thousands of people, but the one who will build with you 5:33 4stages of relationship: admiration, connection (mutual admiration), commitment, compatibility (function well together) 8:33 more is lost in indecision than wrong decision. 8:59 parked car. We get rewards for doing shit. Then you ask the passenger. Get the car moving, get answers by doing. See what works. Experiment. 12:25 the journey of discovery lies not in seeking new landscapes but seeing with fresh eyes. Some people have innate ability to see their partner with new eyes. 14:45 the times we disconnect with people is when we assume we know them today like we did yesterday. 16:33 we have this desire for our partners to stay comfortable so they don’t change beyond our grasp but now there’s no sense of enigma about you. Our fears and insecurities have a need to keep them known instead of allowing them to grow, even if it makes uncomfortable, it lets our desires grow. 22:10 we value the things we invest in and give time to. 23:16 narrative building of putting in effort and courage 23:53 it’s so vital in a world of noise you’re more able to quickly build a connection 25:18 no one cares you’re great once they get to know you 25:49 being real, authentic, someone who can laugh at themselves, telling stories to at show you as a person, what your values are, being curious about someone and you are uniquely interested in them 27:32 rare and valuable. How you tell the story but you also have to do the things. Do you have the kind of life that feeds your passion and fulfills you 27:45 do you have a community so you don’t become over reliant on this one person who becomes your community. I’ve got my community over here, I don’t need you but I’m having fun hanging out with you. If they’re the sole person, that’s what scares people. 29:40 good reason to jump into bed, I have fun, I feel respected and this would be an enjoyable experience 30:01 I avoid any kind of role when someone should do something. First know yourself, self awareness is key in intimacy, there’s nothing sexy about someone who jumps straight to frustration anger and shame after intimacy 31:10 own what you do. 31:17 not only should you not violate your own moral and ethics beliefs, in order to accomodate for someone else, one of the most unattractive things you can do, it’s not acting in congruence with who you are. 33:40 I don’t need this with someone I barely know but it’s more fun if we know each other (sex) 35:05 persistent and not going over the board? Meet them where they are. 36:03 how attraction works better: he comes over, or finds a way for two of them to be close, and says whatever he wants to say, he then turns away and carries on his business here. Now he’s on her radar and she can turn to him and say something. In recreating space, he’s giving her an opportunity to close down space. Closing down space is good because that’s what it says I like you. We now have a dynamic where both of us are doing the walking. If we are the one that’s constantly closing the space, that’s where we have to pull back.

This resonated so deeply with me. After a recent divorce, I’m reflecting on what exactly happened and how to move forward. After feeling pretty much like a failure, I’ve thought about the question of how relationships ‘survive’ or keep going. I’m someone who thrives on change and personal development and my ex just couldn’t cope with that, he would criticise me saying that I was always looking for the ‘next goal’ and I totally get that to be present in the moment is important, but this has made me realise that maybe his comments came from a place of insecurity. Thank you x

I love the perspective of having fresh eyes instead of new landscapes

Never seen Matthew speak before, and I am blown away at how much knowledge this guy could drop in less than 90 minutes. He completely changed my take on break ups and toxic people!

Matt’s mindset on toxicity is spot on. I agree on the kindness trait in a partner that is my top priority for me too. My kindness always seems to be taken advantage of in a relationship but I feel I also need to take responsibility of doing too much in the beginning because of who I am.

This was fantastic. I love the point that we hit issues when we assume we know someone based on past experiences, as the one certainty is that with time people grow and change.

This is soo good so far!! “More is lost in indecision than wrong decision .” I’m sitting in indecision currently because I’m afraid of making the wrong decision.....

" What the heck has technology done to dating?". UUFFF, WHAT AN AMAZING QUESTION..

Time well spent watching this interview. Growth and communication. Miracles happen when people go inwards and ask brave questions.

Ed just listened and held his space and Mathew completely channeled everything that’s amazing and transformative. Can’t tell you how much this helped me post break up.

I am 50 min into this interview and it suddenly hits me. This is the first time in my entire life that I have seen two men talking about relationships. I'm letting it sink in and it's hydrating my soul.

"answers are a reward for doing stuff"

Kindness ... absutely spot on. After 30 years of a relationship that i did not recognise was deeply toxic, i was able to finally see there was no kindness. I brought thar into raising my children .. ots the same for any relationship ... if its not kind to you its not for you, its toxic for you. X

Oh my God! I used to listen to Matthew Hussey every day for few minutes after my couple of years long break from relationships. He is incredibly good and played a huuuge part in me getting with my boyfriend. At this point 2,5 years together. Thanks Matthew! :-)

Matthew is amazing. I really needed to hear this message. His description of a person "losing their identify and death of a soul" really hit the mark for me today.

This is an amazing interview! I love the talk about kindness and how it's not valued enough in a relationship.

Yes - have dated several men who are just run by their families and it’s broken us and I’ve now developed a foresight on it. If a man can’t stand up for us and protect us, we can’t grow into something greater, we’ll only cower and succumb to the families control.

💙 Matthew, you are a beautiful person, both on the outside and inside. I loved to hear that kindness is THE thing for you. Also, I was deeply moved by the description of how you and your family are affectionate - I related to it and to the kind of relationship my kids and I have. I also love your positive energy. Thank you.

Wow just listened to this. Just recently started following both Ed and Matthew and I must say you guys are geniuses when it comes to life coaching and relationship coaching. Matthew mentioned so many critical points in a relationship that we often oversee or just break it off because we don’t know how to deal with certain situations. I was mesmerized the whole time listening to you both, such an amazing interview. I didn’t want it to end. Thank you Ed for brining Matthew to your channel. Both are AMAZING. God bless you.

One of the best interviews I’ve ever seen on relationship dynamics. You two are golden together, between Ed asking core life-changing questions and Matthew dishing out the relationship wisdom like some aged shaman, I was incredibly inspired and believe I might just be able to actually have a mutually loving, respectful, passionate and fun long-term relationship. 💕

OMG I have been waiting for this. I have always said that if Mathew Hussey And Ed mylett are in the same room, they would be off the charts xoxo! they would have such a dynamic discussion.

I love Matthew. He has the right point, good analysis and is the only male couch on internet who is not a misogynist and ready seems to see woman equal

Can’t tell how much I love this talk. Matt you are amazing of giving out your knowledge about relationships and life. I’m so thankful I found you!

I highly recommend going to Mathew’s retreat, he is so passionate and to the point and breaks down so much about life in six. What a great interview!

This was an incredible interview. As always Matthew Hussey can share and communicate life lessons in a way that enriches and opens your eyes to new perspectives. I read his book, went to a couple of his events and always left completely enlightened. It was not until I discovered myself, and got myself out of the way, that I was able to see what was in front of me the whole time. My relationship, now marriage, has been enriched by listening to incredible individuals like Hussey. Thank you Sir!

Such a great conversation Ed! Two men getting deep into the topic of relationships is so needed out there. Thanks man.

I am living in Røros, a mountain village in Norway, sitting in my armchair in the kitchen listening to this amazing conversation. I dont think I ever have heard someone who is able to express himself so exquisite as Matthew Hussey. The programleader is also excellent. Thank you guys for challenging our consciousness 🙏🕊️

This is freaking GOLDEN!!! So many applications throughout every area of life! THANK YOU!!

I've found myself nodding in agreement when Matthew answered the very first question. So true! Things like your "calling" or "the one" do not exist. Plain and simple. It's YOU who makes someone the one

Matthew Hussey is one of a kind. I savor every word--he's so very wise and communicates with true compassion.

Ed, I know I tell you this all the time but I truly appreciate you and all that you do! Thank you for bringing such an incredible person onto the show! I gained a lot from this episode. 🙌🏻

Ed, I just LOVE when powerful men (and women) empower each other. Can’t say how much it warms my heart to see you complimenting Matthew through the interview.

I like the kindness question and think we also need to ask it of ourselves - because most of us believe we are kind - but are we kind when we are tired, annoyed, frustrated, put out etc etc.... and if not we need to make progress in that and remember that people and relationships and connections are an important (if not the most important) part of life.

At 62 I finally feel like I can navigate dating and relationships with the information that will help me make good choices and see the red flags. Thank you for the insight here and in all your other videos.

Great interview and things to think about after. My greatest take away is to remind my self to stay kind to my wife even in hard times. To make it a habit.

Beautiful interview! Thank you Ed for having Matthew to this conversation, which is bringing so much clearness about relationships to us. 🙏🏻❤

Once Matthew says this at the 54 minute mark, I remember why I broke up with my ex. Even after I wanted to go back to the relationship, and then she dumped me after. That was at 54:00. It is a reminder for me why I left, and what she did right after I dumped her is the most manipulate tactic I have ever seen just to make me jealous and spiteful, so disrespectful because she puts her insecurities, her feelings, her own needs above all else over what's best for the relationship. Thank you Matthew.

Thank goodness a dating coach who has said there's no such thing as The One ! I totally agree .It's about two ppl who want each other and the same things. It's called a partnership

Ed bring out the best insight from Matthew.. this is Matthew BEST interview!

MasterClass lessons...for life! This wisdom happens to be landing at a time of a clean break from a guy whose energy fell below my orbit. Thank you!!!

I used to say that I never take relationship advice from single people, but after following this guy (and another single relationship coach)'s interviews online, I'm re-evaluating that thought. Matthew is on FIRE!

Absolutely amazing advices, my life will never be the same again after this 1hour.

One of the most powerful conversations I have ever listed to. Gratitute to both from my heart!!

This conversation was truly amazing! I’ve just been introduced to Matthew and diving into his content is just what I need in this moment. Thank you both💛

Love love love this!! Especially where Matthew talked about the partner and the family! I can relate, so true! Love You Guys!!! Thank You for being in this world!!!💙💙💙

Back to healing from a breakup, what someone can do is reinvent yourself. “Reinventing yourself is key to becoming whole again”. add new habits, new talents, and new intimacy.

I’ve been married 20yrs this coming March & we’re in a good place but this did so much for me ☝🏾 gave me so much ideas n goals for our deepening our relationship

Jesus guys. Amazing interview. Honestly one of the best I've ever seen. I'm blown away

Matthew found his calling we are blessed to have his messages. Let’s continue to absorb the wise words passed down through generations too. Keep shining why you are on this 🌍 thank you chap x

Has to be one of the best (if not *the* best) video I have ever seen. I’ve been watching Matt religiously for a while now, and every piece of content is incredible, but the amount of wisdom in this interview was just outstanding. Ed, you’re so right in saying his humility makes him just the most awe-inspiring and amazing person, because the way he can use simple illustrations and analogies without needing to use big words or make himself look good is just perfection. Absolutely blew my mind watching this and I have a feeling it will be one of those videos where you learn more each time you re-watch it. Thank you so much for the time and effort you put into making this, you have no idea how grateful I am, and I’m sure everyone else watching is too. So much love ♥️♥️

This was amazing and much needed as I go through the process of healing after a break-up.

Matthew Hussey is a wise human. Matthew, you are articulate and open in your conversation with Ed. You go into depths of relationships and human dynamics yet give advice in a practical, actionable way. I am now an advocate for you since 2014 when I searched 'Dating Advice' on RU-vid. Thank you, Matthew and Ed!!

I'm so glad I stumbled upon this nugget! I've always applied Matthew's advice to Life in General, not just relationships and I'm constantly amazed by how beautifully it fits into literally any area of life I try it on. This particular thrust and parry was stimulating to watch, especially during these isolated times. I had to pause, digest, take notes, and try to incorporate these concepts into my life in some very specific ways and it has been very productive. Thank you, Ed and Matthew, for the authentic work you both do!

This interview is rare and valuable!! :) Thank you so much to both of you for this. So insightful. Words to live by!

I had to stop and take notes! Authentic, real and priceless truth. Thank you! Much love! I appreciate both of you!

Awesome interview! I got more in just 30 minutes than I usually do in other videos. This new brave world of dating is kinda scary at times. But Matthew makes it so much easier to understand. Thank you for all the affirmation I get from your work, Matthew! You’re a gem and your mum must be so proud of you!

Absolutely beautiful message. So honoured and feel truly blessed to hear this conversation. Thank you for being so real! So very refreshing! 🙏

I absolutely loved the break up/matrix example and how passionate Matt got talking about it. I totally share his passion. Ed - you are so involved with your guests, love it!

Man he’s so lucky. His wife stayed with him even through breakups. I’d kill to have a second chance with my person. She was my best friend for 6 years. I miss her so much. Don’t really want to start over. I’m 33. She was it for me.

This video was incredibly insightful into the dynamics of human relationships as a whole. Thank you for sharing your content!

Everytime I hear Matthew speak he will say something that makes me yell "Thank you!!!" at least once! 🥰

I just came across this. Mathew I follow you and love what you are doing and how you do so in such a respectful way. Ed, I did not know who you were, but listening to your engagement with Mathew, your warmth, humility, strength and openness was a breath of fresh air. Loved the interview, thank you both

This is phenomenal and so well-worth watching, which I will do several times and absorb even more. Thank you both.🙏🏻

This is by far one of the most interesting videos I've ever seen , Matthew has an unbelievable way of explaining things I would normally find complicated in a simple way, that is a true ability of a great communicator! Amazing interview the notes I took are amazing! Thank you both so much for sharing all this knowledge

Ok I’m at the end and in tears at the integrity, love, grounded, simple, honesty, and invitation I am feeling pulled deeper into myself and pulled forward by. Bless you men. 🙏🏾⚡️🖤

This is SO good!! Two authentically-driven, truly kind, thought leaders coming together to discuss what we all want to know... How to have successful relationships. Love it! 💜 Thank you very much!!

This was absolutely amazing. I figured out what I am missing in my relationship. I appreciate the ti.e you both took in making this video. Ed you had great questions and Matthew your awesome as usual.

this is SOOOO good!! thank you thank you for this discussion and the scenarios which show an array of complexities in a relationship, likewise a married one.

one of the greatest interviews, ive watched/listened multiple times. its just as good as the first time, every time.

I’m so glad I found your channel and I will keep learning through these conversations you are having with these amazing human beings who have committed to learn everything they can about their passion. I appreciate everything you do Ed, keep bringing these answers we have everyday questions for to light. I just started following you today and will continue thank you!

I was repainting the bathroom while listing to the podcast , wife walks in when Matthew was talking about breakups , and now she thinks I'm plotting to break up with her, sad but true.

Brilliant right to the end!!! Thank you both, amazing!!

Ed, I watch interviews and listen to podcasts all over the place. But even when watching the same guests in different podcasts, I keep coming back to interviews on your channel. Something about your excitement, your humbleness and eagerness to learn brings out the best of the people you interview. Keep it up my man!

I love this interview, thank you Ed and Mathew for providing all this value on a subject that is so important to many of us. Send you blessings!

One of the best interviews I've listened to. I've been following Mathew for quite awhile and love his style but equally Loved the questions you asked. Such a great combo you two are. Thank you for all your content, always learning something!

This interview was an absolute gift. SOOO SOO GOOD!!

Mathew, I'm wowed by your intelligence on relationship matters. You saved my ass with your advice and now I'm a better me.

In my experience, having been married over 20 years, is that you have to fall in love with the same person over and over again. My husband didn’t understand that it was the small things that made me able to do that. The times when he showed me tenderness during tough times. Or, simply showed me proper encouragement. When he thought enough to stop at the store and get me a few flowers-just because. We aren’t together anymore, as we couldn’t get back on board again. But, we raised our kids together. We keep a close friendship and still look out for each other. We still have each others back. You can end it and not completely abandon each other. For example, I chose to move to another state (where I have healed and grown as a person), I went home for Thanksgiving. As a family, we had an amazing time. I love him. But in a different way. My kids respect and love us. Because we show each other grace. That’s so hard for people. And as much as I miss those wonderful moments we had. And hurt from the bad ones. That love is still there. And it’s what makes me try to still be a good momma…a good woman…a good person. I just need to remember to show that grace to myself. I get down on myself because I couldn’t keep up that original thing that made us create the wonderful people and family we did. I am happy where I am. I have the career here I wanted and am around the kind of friends I always wanted. So, I stand by my choice…but still stand by my kids and those I left too. In the ways I can. Love is complex and no one can tell you how. You just do.