Trying to Have Fun While Autistic 

It's interesting to hear how you experience and cope with emotionally challenging situations. Maybe autistically challenging is a better description. Anyway, your awareness allows you to accommodate yourself. The fact that you're willing to share your insight allows me to reassess so many times in my life when I've been inexplicably confused and overwhelmed. When "normal" situations have left me drained and depleted. Before, during and after. I'm beginning to understand how most of my life I've lived in a dissociative survival state. Like some models of cars have what's called a "limp home mode", so you can get your car back to your driveway, usually at a much slower speed and reduced function. That was me. I'm learning (or trying) but now I allow myself to avoid situations that I know will be too much. Only these last few years accepting that what is easy for most people, isn't for me. Which is why it takes days to summon the courage to go to the grocery store. Mental preparation, stick to the script or don't talk to anyone, and shop at night an hour before closing. Just because someone smiles at me doesn't mean they're my friend, or want to hear my info or trauma dump. Your concert experience reminded me of going to see Frank Zappa in the early seventies. (Yes, I'm that old) It was in a college gym, essentially the size of a basketball court (small) and you could barely see the other side through the haze of pot smoke. We were in the bleachers about 30 feet from a wall of speakers (and Frank) and my friends were dancing and having a great time. I was having an out of body experience and the bass line was churning my insides. Within the first song I was laying down flat on the bench feeling like my head was going to explode, or that I'd die of cotton-mouth. My adolescent solution to being peculiar was to try and maintain an altered state (both as an explanation of who I was and an escape), with predictable consequences. Great times, lol. Edit: I tend to go off on tangents that make sense to me, and only me. But what your video really called to mind was the lengths we go to "fit in" or to accommodate ourselves. When we want to do something, or when we are compelled but feel we should. Whether we know we're autistic or not, we often go to great effort and push ourselves. It's only after learning about traits and triggers that past events snap in to focus. That epiphany of "Oh, okay. Now that makes sense." I can't get angry at not knowing, but it is sometimes upsetting that it never occurred to anyone that my challenges had an explanation, other than being "difficult", or willful insolence.

Firstly I would like to remind you that you’re incredibly brave to do these events by yourself. I always need a carer of some kind whether it’s my sister or a staff member from the place I live. I get so overwhelmed and anxious that I can’t think clearly, although I’m happy once the music starts, I couldn’t get myself to a train to get home afterwards because I am unable to think clearly. I don’t have a sunflower lanyard but I use a long white cane so it’s clear to strangers that I am disabled. I’m happy to try and get into the seated disabled section if possible, I can manage if it’s not possible but it’s easier to be there for me and in the past I have used the right to a free carers ticket where available. I have no problem using accommodations, I don’t think I ask for a lot of them in life but a concert is expensive and I have a right to enjoy it as much as I can and I don’t see why everyone in the autistic community shouldn’t access whatever accommodations they need, the way I see it is that they may say no to what you want but that’s hopefully not going to be enough to ruin your night. I would suggest that you can ask your girlfriend to phone up for you to ask what they are willing to do to help you enjoy your night if you find it difficult yourself. I also use earplugs for bad opening acts although I’m lucky to have seen some good ones too. I do think our nervous system’s get overloaded easier than neurotypicals and with everything you go through to get to a concert it’s got to be worse for you than those of us who have someone who can deal with challenges for us, I’m not qualified to speak about sensory processing difficulties but if you have difficulty with the music during a gig that’s not unreasonable in my limited understanding. I’m not glad that your day after a gig is difficult but I had wondered if it was just me and I am relieved it’s not. I need to be alone in a quiet room ideally where I can control the light level. It’s usually my bedroom that I hide away in and I have often had a bad nights sleep after any event I attend because I get so anxious so I often sleep. I often find that if it’s possible sleep is a great healer but mostly it’s just time that I need. It’s not easy to get people to understand that though. I have never fully understood the appeal of Jagged Little Pill, I know I am in the minority as even my friend who hardly ever listens to music loves it. I imagine it was for you as mind blowing as when I saw passenger and Gabrielle Aplin singing together not long after concerts were allowed again. I’m going to go because I have wrote too much without making any relevant points. I’m sorry you were so stressed that you were sick but really glad you attended a concert that meant so much to you. I hope you’re well and that life’s not going to be too bad over this next week despite it being way too hot.

Your not alone with the distorted hearing near the speakers and it really bugged me as my mates always wanted to be as close as possible to the speakers! Ahhhhh

I often get overwhelmed! I really wanted to see Pink live but due to anxiety I ended up being so drunk etc that I don't remember much of it which frustrates me as I usually love taking photos x

so relatable!! especially being anxious about having to cross people to get to your seat--i hated theaters for years because of this (i haven't had the weird whammy pedal audio warping audio thing happen though)

I'm so happy for you, getting to see Alanis finally! You got the same t shirt as I did :3

I have never been to a concert, a real one, but I did eye the Alanis and Garbage concert when it was in atlanta I guess that was last year, I shocked at the price, didn't go, would never go alone, so you are Brave ALanis fan Dana.

Alanis is amazing live!! I saw her at tea in the park in Scotland. Ironic is my absolute favourite x

Whenever I have an event like that planned, I just assume I'll need the entire next day to recover. Preparing for it is always the same process, adjusted slightly depending on the type of event, but recovering is a whole different problem

3:10 stoppppppp that sounds like an actual nightmare