tw - The day before everyone found out :( - vlog 

Hey Eli, my heart goes out for you. I have a cousin who suffers in similar ways, understanding you helps me better understand and try help him. Keep safe and strong

eli I just wanna say (side note ur so pretty ) ur an amazing person, you don’t suck, what sucks is this ed. I hope one day you’ll be able to choose recovery no matter how long it takes, you deserve it and you deserve to have a life outside this ED. you really are an amazing person eli keep your head up 🤍

foods suddenly tasting bad or having the texture suddenly become even slightly different from the way it used to be happens to me rly rarely but when it does i feel just like u TT !!! im sorry its happened w something that u were eating regularly for so long bc ik that kind of routine change would haunt me w/o other ppl even being in my business abt what i eat …

I'm sorry Eli for what you are going through. One day at a time. Stay strong and take care, thank you for the update

I’ve just watched the first half of the video [gonna watch the rest of it in a moment] and can’t but comment now how relatable it is!! I’ve got literally the same thing with “safe” foods now! They all suddenly started becoming very “unsafe”, since I started bingeing (i.e. b/p) on them too. For example, corn and rice cakes, low-cal corn and lentil chips, low-cal high-protein yogurts, and even f***ing protein powder and apples!! Feels like the world is falling apart… As I’m listening to you, I feel understood and not alone. Thank you! Hope you don’t feel lonely too and are able to find new safe foods soon. I’m really sorry for what happened with your landlord, it’s extremely hard to handle situations like that. Take care!

im sorry youre going through so much. you’ve been mt favorite channel for the past few weeks. you’ve inspired me to begin vlogging too. be safe

со мной сейчас происходит то же самое.. я не могу дать совет, ведь и я в дерьме. твои видео помогают мне не чувствовать одиночество! хочу, чтобы и ты не чувствовала себя одинокой! силы всем╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

Hey ty for the updates it's nice to tune in once in a while

за последние 2 месяца со мной произошло нечто похожее... я была в гостях у друзей и в первую же неделю они поняли, что мои отношения с едой оставляют желать лучшего. хуже всего то, что поняла и мама. она считает, что это было всего лишь короткой фазой и я вылечилась, но к сожалению, всё стало ещё хуже. я не знаю, как снова наладить отношения с едой и полюбить? себя. я боюсь есть и боюсь есть "нормальные" порции, потому что я уже не знаю, что такое нормально: ограничивать себя или обжираться до боли в животе, при этом не чувствуя наслаждения. но я рада, что ты завела канал и выкладываешь блоги о своей жизни, потому что с помощью них я не чувствую себя одинокой. надеюсь, что у тебя получится побороть эти мысли, которые не дают наслаждаться тем, что должно радовать и не внушать страх.

thank you for your videos, it bring comfort to sm ppl i rlly hope everything will go alright stay safe and take care pls

please stay with us Eli, I love you

I had this a few months ago where all my safe foods stopped being safe. Luckily eventually I did get some new safe foods but it was so frustrating and food was so hard.

I felt so terrible at all those apologies bc NONE of them were true, i know this was a few months ago and i really hope you dont still feel this way, but if you do, i want you to know that you are perfect as you are, struggles dont make you any less than anyone else. you are loved and not a failure whatsoever. youre so fucking amazing and appreciated, even if you dont see it

Omg what a cute puppy!!!

Just because you failed doesn't mean you are a failure :((. I hope you're okay and safe

Our brain is tricking us and we should learn to control the brain not let the brain control us. It’s all in the mind my friend. Our brains our so powerful. ❤

love you hun we in this together ur not alone :)

It was great seeing you and listening to you talking to us like we were your friends (we are! In some way 🫶) meeting you felt different bc it's not just another ed vlog with an "ed voice" talking, it’s you, you're a real person and I'm glad that you're alive and here on this planet with us, you are struggling but you are also beautiful and funny and so interesting and I wish I could be your friend irl! I hope since that vlog you've been doing better, sending lots of love, please take care and stay safe as much as you can 🦋🌟🦋