U.K Cocaine Addiction - My Story - 21 Years of Hell 

I’m addicted to watching people who are addicted talking about addiction

My mid thirties was by far the worst part of my life as well. My body couldn’t take the abuse anymore. Thankfully that is behind me.

When I used to get cravings I forced myself to concentrate on how awful and dirty I felt after the comedown. That was a good trick for me.

I could remember several years ago, cocaine addiction actually destroyed my life. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Got diagnosed with cptsd. Not until a friend recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.

Had an addiction for almost 15 yrs. spent literally 10’s thousands on coke. Lost jobs, nearly my home and my wife and kids.. I made the decision that enough was enough and I cut everyone out of my life who encouraged me or sold it to me… my life changed instantly, now 7 years without touching it, the thought of it now makes me feel sick..

My story is exactly the same as yours it's crazy. Cash point at 12, pay on a Thursday and not going to work on a Friday, payday loans it's mad I used to do all the things you do and I'm still doing it. I'm 33 now and relapsed last week after 4 months but I'm a week clean tomorrow again and just got to keep trying

Dear Mark, I was a total speed freak in Bristol the the 80s. I have been sober for about 40 years. I had a psychotic break down, and at my worst I was 5 and a half stone. I am grateful for every day. I have a daughter and a grandson and a wonderful husband . I have been honest snd remain honest about my past. Some one recently asked me if I had ever tried drugs. I laughed and said there are not many I haven't.

I was lost on coke for 15 years. I had to literally throw my phone in the bin and move to another country to break the habit It was such a relief to be somewhere where I just couldn’t get it. I didn’t get any bad withdrawals but had long term depression but that might just be my adhd Good luck if you are battling this addiction.

I definitely had the autopilot, terrible when you are desperate to stop, even when going to the dealer I was thinking "I don't want to buy any" but would buy anyway... I am 99 days clean today. Congrats on your recovery

I'm sitting here now after having fought off "the craving" . I'm determined to do the same tomorrow 'cos i know it'll be back. But , tonight , i win. Cheers & good luck mate.

I am sober from drugs and alcohol three years in January. I am 48 and took my first wrap of speed at 15ish. As it turns out alcohol never agreed with me but proved a gateway to debauched nights/days/weeks/months and years of drug abuse. I lied, I cheated and I even stole Es once. I opened the recycling bin one morning before collection and couldn't fit more cans of Stella in. This was the point I decided enough was enough and I stopped right there. I sought help, I received help, I was honest with myself and addiction to alcohol and cocaine, over time, with desire and discipline vanished over the horizon. I am disciplined, I work hard and I am grateful for the Universe conspiring in my favour now. Happy, healthy and truly alive. One Love and well done Sir ❤ ❤

This story is amazing because I’ve been a heavy coke user for 20 years and this was like you telling me my life story on drugs it’s a sad existence when it gets a grip of you I hope everyone is doing well and stay healthy thanks for this

Thank you for being so honest. My addiction started in my late 30’s. Breaking up with my girlfriend. Went down a spiral, and Couldn’t stop….luckily I have a family that has the funds to get me in to a private clinic. Because I was also doing Benzos for the comedown of cocaine. And the benzos are fare more worse. Very inspirational to see your recovery. Stay strong👍

I’ve done it recreationally in the past only a handful full of times. One day I had a rough comedown and was angry that I wasted my money so I thought “fuck this” and never touched it again

Done the same, 20 years every weekend. So much gear it would fall back out of my nose. Anxiety and paranoia would cripple me. I ended up on Diazapam for 3 years. I felt so shit on gear with panic attacks and paranoia even after just one line , i ended up stopping as i thought one more line would kill me. Raved every weekend, took 3 Es and 1 gram of mdma in a lucozade bottle in one hit. I over heated so bad i took 5 showers to cool down. Only when i look back , i think how the fuck did all the drugs and stupid doses not kill me.

Everyone who has just started taking drugs needs to see this, good job my dude!

Haven’t been able to relate to a video about addiction more than this one, I’m only 18 but I have suffered from addiction for 4 years. I can really relate to those 2 different personalities that you brought up later on in the video. I am a 6 months clean from cocaine use and I’ve found these videos have really helped. Great video mate, thankyou

I went through 8 years of my life like this. I was a functional addict, but also had a bad problem with tolerance as I could bend it like Beckham. Just so glad I moved away and was able to kill the addiction.

This just popped up on my feed and I thought I’d give it a watch since I was a coke addict for 5-6 year. Nearly 2 years sober now just stone cold quit one day and never looked back. It’s good to hear your story and how we all relate in how bad it had gotten. How you lie and do anything for a fix I would spend my pay same as you every Friday got riddled with Defaults and CCJ’s but I’m much happier where I am and looking back to where i used to be is scary

Well done for getting your story out, even if it helps just one youngster. My poison was heroin and spent 20yrs battling the demon, I am 2yrs sober now, I still think about it everyday and everyday I wake up I go through the process off switching myself on, reminding myself I am a addict and this day is another day being sober. Did go through a small period smoking crack but quickly came to my senses.

How amazing I found this. I've suffered with cocaine addiction now for 18 years. It's completely destroyed my life and made my mental health conditions so much harder to deal with.

I'm probably quite lucky that when I was a teenager I really loved drugs but my friends weren't that into them.

I feel like I can relate to so much of this. I'm a functioning alcoholic. 2017 was the year I finally faced my shit and started to understand and admit what I was. November of that year I turned 33, I quit drinking on my birthday. My last birthday in November I celebrated 6 years alcohol free. The last 6 years have been amazing. I feel so blessed to have actually started to live, because as an active addict, all you're doing is existing. The craving part of your video, I didn't realise that's what happens after a craving. But I can totally relate. Not so much these days, but that first year had a few patches there that weren't very nice at all. Congratulations on your sobriety, I wish you well man, I truly hope someone sees your vid and it changes their lives 🙏🏻 ❤

it scares me how many people are going to go through similar addiction issues as you’ve experienced yourself. drug culture surrounding cocaine in the uk at the moment is absolutely fucking horrendous. good luck with your recovery.

Congrats mate! 💪👏 My best to anyone struggling out there, you're all far stronger you than you may think

Thanks for the video. Someone very dear to me has been struggling with this for 5-6 years now with no sign of stopping.

Thanks for sharing and congratulations turning your life around.

Thank you for sharing. I'm glad you found your way out

Been a month clean now needed to warch this

Thank you for sharing your story. Happy you are back on a good path brother. 🎉👊

Wow what a journey!! Your an inspiration ❤

I can't describe how much I'm feeling for everyone here. I'm so glad mate that you're good now. I was crying about everything you went through. Decent of you to want to help others. I'm praying for us all my dear brothers.

Thanks for posting, everyone is so very different in this world and I think it’s important for people to understand people’s addiction stories. Take care man ❤️ 🤗

I'm in my 50's now and thankfully I have never touched this sh*t or any other hard or soft drug!!!

really well put together video, congrats to you on your sobriety and success!

Sat here now remembering that payday fear. Top man thank you for this vid.

exactly like that the bad over comes the good with obsession then it is autopilot mode 😢

Your story is so close to mine and will help so many people I’m so grateful that you chose to share your experience and how you came out of the deepest place you can be with addiction x

You’ve earned a sub from a fellow Bristolian 👍🏻,Hearing your story and how you’ve overcome it is certainly wild,Iv been one of those “functional” addicts as you described it as it’s only ever been a every other weekend thing for me or iv had breaks/long stop periods between but over the course of 10 years now and have always suffered pretty bad most times with the come downs after,Whether it’s just outside or closer to the centre Bristol its a cursed place it’s been far too accepting of drugs for too long and too many people get drawn in as a result still going at it up into older age,The last couple of years have been far better than previous for me but iv occasionally “give in” in certain circumstances unfortunately even if it’s not been as manic as before…All I’d say to anyone is from my experience is get to the gym feel healthier and if you can just not put yourself in a situation your at risk of slipping up in the 1st place just avoid that situation/people entirely..Can be difficult when you know some people who arnt “bad” but you all continue down the rabbit hole together,Just remember to do what’s good for you and your health,All the best to everyone battling on 👊🏻.

Perfectly put. You have literally the same journey as me (in my 18th year now) , Oblivion was one of my favourite games, ironically. Including the crying, binging and the damage routine. Very inspiring, I'll be with you on your journey of spreading the word to hopefully prevent harm to our younger brothers or sisters. Cheers mate 👍🏻

thanks for this video man, watched the whole lot at nearly 4am, i’ve had a few sessions past 10 years or so but i’m pleased to say i’m sober now & looking to stay that way… respect to you

I have been riding a craving for a month it's actually so strong , unbearable ... 10 almost 11 months sober , weed , drink coke

Thank you for sharing, hell of a story & very motivating. Congratulations on pulling though 🙏

Thank you for telling us your drug addiction story and your insights into addiction. I am working to get over my own addictions and educating myself on how addiction works has been a real help.

There will be a lot of people on here can relate to your story, I know I can.

I am very proud of you man, thanks for sharing and motivating!

Thankyou so much that explanation of cravings makes so much sense, and has given me the motivation to carry on, especially the depression part, it makes you think what’s the point of staying sober if you feel so depressed. I think previously just the thought of using (and knowing I could use) gave me the dopamine hit. this video came up for a reason to me ❤

very well spoken. had similar experiences. thx for sharing & all the best m8 !

Man, thank you very much for your story! It is always important to hear that no matter what it is possible to change for better

This has genuinely inspired me so thank you

Mark thanks so much for sharing your story! Really a truly WILD RIDE thru addiction and best luck to extending your recovery one day... one moment at a time.

Great video. I like the explanation about split personality, the addicted mind taking over the real you. Well done, this video is very honest, very helpful.

Hi Mark. One of the best posts on addiction I’ve seen. A brave, honest account. God Bless. 🙏🏻♥️💐

Your story is pretty close to mine. I went through cycles of doing different drugs. Eventually led to full blown cocaine habit that turned into smoking crack on a daily basis. I kicked the habit last September thankfully. Haven't touched drugs/alcohol or cigarettes since. Got into crazy amounts of debt over the years. Have probably spent over 100k on getting high over the years. I owed nearly £11k worth of debt in October and its nearly all payed off since getting clean. Leaving the country to go travelling next year. Thank you for sharing your story with us! I hope everyone keeps on the right path in life.

Fantastic information and insight into your own addiction and subsequent education and recovery. You sir are very eloquent and knowledgeable. Much love from a fellow Bristolian!

Thank you for sharing your inspiring story!

This was intense. Thank you for sharing your experience.

Thank you so much for this video. After 17 years of addiction, ive never heard a better explanation of it. Very inspiring🙏🙏🙏🙏

What a generous and brave act to share you story and to give such hope. Thank you and I wish you all the best with your life changing journey, turning things round from hideous drug darkness to light, and changing other peoples lives for the better not just your own.

Cheers!!! Thank you so very much!!! I am so very grateful I found your video!!! I can relate 100% I have been in the Northeast USA my whole life, a few decades and addiction has been and continues to be prominent in my area. I know it is prominent across the globe as well. Thank you so much for your time!!!

Im on 30 years of active addiction in my mid 40s now . Still in hell

Well done for sharing Mark. Glad to hear you managed to turn it around.

Excellent video bro. Always great to see a guy turn his life completely around after a couple of decades of chaos. Well done champ 🏆 keep inspiring

Nice to hear that became complely conscious of what happened and came up with this split personality theory. Becoming conscious, for me always comes with those type of conclusions and I can see a summery of it in helicopter view.

I just want to express how relatable this was to me. Good on you for getting through it and being where you are now. Commendable mate.

Thank you so much for sharing this. It's made the loneliness and shame of my addiction that much more bearable and helped motivated me to stay in control. Much love mate

Wow... Very strong to talk about it so openly. I know that addictive personality part that takes over and you just don't have a chance anymore.... Just autopilot mode... You can be really proud to have done this. Good luck furthermore 👍 Greetings from Germany.

Absolutely outstanding! I was mesmerised watching this it takes a lot for me to cry but this really made me cry because I have a similar story and not many people understand the grip drugs and alcohol get on you When you said about the 2 personalities and going in to auto pilot...WOW just wow because that is the most SPOT ON description of it! You should be so proud of your self at getting over this and bettering yourself we are worth more we deserve to be healthy I'm so glad you studied about addiction etc..knowledge is power! You have a new fan here mark!! Marie finnigan from Liverpool u.k❤

Great video man, I’m the exact same age as you and my story is scarily similar to yours, I’ve mostly been sober the last year with one or two slips along the way, but feel I’m almost there. Appreciate the honestly of your story and well done on getting to where you are after all you’ve been through

People have to understand, you just need to try it once and thats you started that addiction. The curiosity and urge is there if you're in that sort of circle's but those urges are nothing like the urges you get once you've actually tried coke. What will happen is, you'll associate coke with your drink. You'll crave a line after a few drinks. BEST thing to do, is never give in to that first, second, third and so on offer. Do not take a sniff, because you might be the unlucky one that gets addicted. Even if you dont get addicted, you will always fancy a line. Stay away from the garbage. Get obsessed with healthy eating or the gym or both. Get 11 thousands steps in every single day. Thats roughly a 1hr walk.

My bad experience with class A is equally similar and unique, as every addiction story is. And the lesson I learned is that you and only you decide every step. Don’t blame the addiction, find out the reason why you need them. Go back to that kid and tell him/her that they don’t need them to get by. To anyone struggling - one day at the time, you can do it.

ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT and congratulations Sir - very well spoken - i'm sure this video will help alot of people - PLEASE EVERYONE GIVE IT A THUMBS UP - Help get the word out , this will save some lives

Thanks for sharing your story mate, I’m 4 weeks clean of it and still haven’t had the itch yet 🤞🏻

Thank you for sharing your story. It is very brave.

Very lucid description, thanks for sharing it. You hero

Absolutely brilliant well done.Enjoyed that.

Listening to you speak with clarity, I find it hard to imagine what you were like before you got soba.

Thank you so much for your share you have done soooo well to get clean and sober i know how hard it is and for me i go to CA meetings three times a week got myself a sponser who i love and trust to help me get through my 12 steps im on step 6 with him and am 95 days clean and sober. Im know getting my life back and my lifes so managable now thanks to the CA fellowship. If your watching this share he is not lieing how bad drugs have took him through hell just like it did to me. The drugs are not the problem its it us amd have to learn to stay in recovery. If ya reading this ya blessed and still alive to get the support

Well done mate. Helping others is obviously your calling ,reason and purpose. God Bless.

Proud of you man, it’s not easy to get out of addictions but if you are able to do it when you are in that deep it shows serious will power.

very relatable story :) thanks for going into details

So honest. Thank you for this. My addiction was not as severe as yours but I am just coming to the end of 19 years of regular drug abuse. I can resonate with so much of what you said. Hope you are well

Thanks for sharing. I did e's in the early 90's and needed a bad experience of paranoid to eventually stop.

Great video i must say explains everything in great detail i started of the exact same age now am 38 been 20 odd years of hell but going to get the help i need great to hear you came out the other side with so much good in your life well done

The drug situation in Bristol is terrible and it frustrates me so much how the city is portrayed as such a wonderful place. So many people in need of help when you walk around Broadmead and Cabot Circus.

You're such a bright lad, also I'm impressed to see your physique surpasses mine.. stay up Mark, you da man!!

I've been an addict for a good few years, you either keep yourself in hell ,or pack all the drugs and send them instead. After addiction a person is able to live a better and appreciate life to a meaningful level ❤.

Very well put together. Nice one - and congrats for getting straight 👏

Thank you for sharing your story...best wishes and God bless 🙏

Really interesting video thanks for sharing. Really impressed you hardly said um or stumbled at all throughout the whole thing

For me, regular hard physical exercise (brazilian jiujitsu) ice baths and honesty have helped replace drug addiction. I had a very similar story. Escaped to New Zealand, where drugs are expensive, got in to fight sports, and, specifically, Brazilian Jiu-jitsu which gives me enough dopamine hits to satiate that part of me. Ice baths help with this, too. At 45, a month ago, I found out I almost certainly have adhd and that my drug use was a way for me to regulate uncontrollably anxious thinking and dysregulated emotional response. Its been incredibly helpful to know this. I have softened to myself and my boys, who may have similar characteristics.

Wow man your video is incredible. Your honesty and just pure openness is amazing. I just left a cocaine and alcohol addict after 14 years, I figured he just didn’t love me enough to stop. Emotionless is an understatement of his character while using. Everything you described I’ve lived directly alongside him begging and pleading for him to stop, not having a clue he was on autopilot and definitely another person .. whew …. Currently recovering from the character I’ve become thanks to him… Bravo mister 💐

Appreciate you putting in the effort to make this video, would've been difficult I'm sure. Thanks.

Just watched this for the first time and your the man 💯 definitely just gained sub and will definitely watching more 👍

Keep going, mate! Listened to the whole story. Used to do all you did, even though not as intense, still horrible and making my life a mess. Now I'm stuck with daily use of Kratom and I hope I will be able to drop that soon as well.

This is my life now. I am 34 every penny I've ever had in the past 12 years has been spent on it before I've got it. I've ruined my life. Live with elderly relatives. Destroyed the house. Don't talk to anyone. Can't hold a job down. Liverpool UK. This gives me hope

So watching you video brought so many things home,so I had a power walk for an hour at 06.30 and then drove an hour for a AA meeting at 09.O0 in pattaya Thailand,see just by watching you video reminded me that I am an alcoholic,thank you so much and keep up the good work,and never forget we are the winners

Great video man

Well done mate. Inspiring chat and I hope you stay clean.

Bro I had to comment - 21 minutes in is the prefect explanation of a character within you that can take over from the smallest trigger - thank you for sharing it’s lit a fire in me