Understanding the plight of Trans Ex-Jehovah's Witnesses 

Gonna chime in as another ex-jw trans lady. Thanks for platforming people who have lived experiences and centering trans voices to speak on current issues. Hayley and Trent, y'all are doing the hard work, you are making a difference every day ❤️ Since coming out five years ago, while I've been accepted by coworkers, clients, and extended family, the most intolerant and hateful people in my life have been my quasi-active jw parents. There's a pattern of oppression of our people on the part of conservative organizations. Any highlighting of our issues is appreciated, our community is small and we need the help to stay alive.

Thank you for doing this Lloyd...it was great to be with you. You create a very loving place for an open and honest conversation. It was wonderful to meet Hayley, too.

It makes me so happy to see trans people being able to live as their true selves! And hearing how happy they are once they begin the transition. So many religions are fearful of LGBTQ, and they are on the wrong side of history.

I knew I could count on you to cover this Lloyd. Our family really needs this . Thank you so much!!Your guests were great. ❤

Thank you Lloyd for giving these dear folks a platform to be heard and respected. I too am a proud ally 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

68 year old straight cis man here, wishing you both well. I wish people could just be compassionate and supportive and loving to others generally. Hugs, and a big hug to you too Lloyd. The Beatles weren’t far off the mark when they sang, “All you need is love.”

I couldn't be more proud of my brother Trent Coleman. You are an amazing man and I am lucky to be your baby sister. Keep educating people and standing up for what is right!!

It’s strange isn’t it Jesus never condemned these people yet the governing body does

What lovely interview. It was released in such a timely manner, especially when transgender issues are being debated heavily by politicians and the media in North America. Hayley Polykarpos and Trent Coleman seem like such lovely people.

As a trans ex-JW too, it’s awesome to see this video be made!! ❤🏳️‍⚧️

It's so awful to be a JW Child and have to deal with the JW crap. As if life isn't hard enough, the hillbillies make it worse.

This video was extremely eye opening. Especially the segment about movies and how Trans people were usually made the butt of jokes, or are cast as villains. I love to watch bad over the top movies and one of my favorite guilty pleasures was Beyond the Valley of the Dolls. As you were discussing this, I thought back to the "murderer" also being a Trans person and realizing, "D@mn! They're correct. Trans people were rarely, if ever, portrayed as just people." ... :(

Lloyd, if you ever wanna continue to discuss about Ex-JWs who are transgenders, I would be glad to come in one of your interviews! I know we spoke a little lately in on of your JW Watch, but if you wanna dig deeper into this, I could speak about the Conversion Therapy side of the Organization even if they would never officially call it like that, and I was as well while I was still a JW the example of my congregation, so it was a shock to see me out like that as I was having so many responsibilities in the congregation instead of any regular brothers! I was a Second Generation JW. On my side of my trans identity, I’m more a Nonbinary Trans Woman, who is as well Pansexual and Lesbian Romantically, Polyamorous, Autistic! I always joke to people around me that the organization despise so much the LGBTQ+ communities that I had to come out to nearly every part of the communities that I am identifying myself to! With all the Complex Traumas that I lived because of the organization, a few years after my disassociation, I felt in the Opioids and nearly died because of it, even had to be an escort for a few years, and lost as well my trans partner in death because of a Cancer, who she was advocating and fighting for the rights of Trans and non-cisgender homeless peoples as a Social Worker she was! Now, I’m trying to continue her fight! But yeah! If you ever wish dig more about the subject, it would me my pleasure to be your guest!

Kenneth Cooke's remarks about same-sex marriage and transgender identity really shows just how human-driven his Church is. How prejudice, discrimination and bias can exist in the JW Organization just easily as it does in the non-JW world. He's uncomfortable that the World Health Organization supposedly says that gender identity and physical sexual identities are more complex than what we humans would like to acknowledge, and then he says, "Really?" Why do you say "really", Kenneth? Is it because the idea of gender existing on a spectrum the is comprised of multiple, different complex gender identities--saying gender is more complex than just someone looking like what we would consider a "typical" male or female in the physical sense--and that makes you feel uncomfortable so you're using your belief that people can "decide what their gender is, and that idea goes against God's purpose for humanity because that is what my Church tells me, and I don't understand it nor do I want to" to try and justify your personal discomfort? I don't believe that sexual orientation or gender identity are "choices", but even if they were, so what? Why should Jehovah's Witnesses care if someone is LGBT? How do the identities of LGBT people negative impact or your quality of life? As for the that whole passage from the BOOK OF DEUTERONOMY about how men shouldn't wear women's garments and men shouldn't wear women's garments because it's an "abomination" or "detestable" to "God"...I say, really? Really? Out of the things Jehovah, if he existed, could be worried about, why in the hell should crossdressing be one of them or consensual sexual relationships between grown men, or--and how blasphemous is this--people worshipping idols? I fail to see how crossdressing or homosexuality harm anyone much less God? Homosexuality and crossdressing are "abominations", really? Even if God existed and said homosexuality and crossdressing or transgender identity are "abominations", then I would probably tell him, "Well, that's your opinion, and I don't agree with it. LGBT people aren't harming me or anyone else that I can see; they don't seem to be having a negative impact on my life or on the lives of anyone else, so I'm not going to interfere in their lives or rail against their identities nor am I going to speak out against or prevent them from expressing that identity. I don't care about what consenting adults do in private. You can do whatever you like, but I'm not joining your crusade against these people no matter what you decide to do to me." I think that the Biblical authors supposed negative views on sex between men or crossdressing is likely a reflection of Israelite society's strict roles for men and women, their obsession with fertility and procreational sex, and probably is a reflection of their own discomfort with these behaviors--which they believed their deity Yahweh just happened to share. How convenient is that? God doesn't like the same things that you dislike and that happen to make you feel uncomfortable. How convenient. The homophobia and transphobia are just one reason why I would never want to be involved in the Jw community again. Even if LGBT folk were accepted as part of the JW community, I still wouldn't rejoin the JW Organization because I disagree with almost everything that the JW Organization teaches. Homosexual or transgender identities are not the only issues that I disagree with them over, and I'm not even LGBTQIA+ myself. I swear, I really don't understand why religious fundamentalists are so obsessed with LGBT people and with issues that really have no negative impact on their lives? Why do they prioritize this stuff that shouldn't even be considered as being a problem in the first place? I don't get it. I really don't.

Thanks Hayley and Trent for this. Learned a lot 🏳️‍⚧️

To both Trent and Hayley from an old straight bloke... Thank you for trying to help others understand who you are, showing us all how you are like everyone else, just trying to live the best you can. The media have sadly made many folks fear people like yourselves. Fear often comes from ignorance and sadly if not challenged or corrected cn leads to hate. Personally I did some reading and research to try and understand (and even read up on some trans folks from centuries past, there have always been folks who have what we now realise is gender dysphoria). I admit I do not fully understand, but I haven't walked in those shoes. For me it is as Lloyd said about compassion, understanding, love and kindness. I see the media portrayal as ridiculous, the danger to CIS women from trans people is akin to the chances of being struck by lightning yet from all the press coverage you wouldn't guess that. (There has been more MPs in the UK House Of Commons been reported for sexual misconduct and assault in the last couple of years than reports of trans crimes... it seems CIS women are more in danger of MPs). I wish you both all the very best in your lives and I hope my scribbles have not only made some sort of sense but are of some support to you.

For some reason, the algorithm didn't put this video in my crawl. I am glad that I saw one of the sushi form of this video. 🍣 Thanks for making these twos' stories possible. Very powerful.

Thank you all for sharing! Love

My daughter is Trans gender I am a ex jw

It is absolutely heartbreaking how transgender people are treated by narrow minded people 😢

Hey this is really cool for you to make Lloyd, especially in the current climate of a lot of BS backlash to trans people we've seen the last couple years. The nasty stuff Watchtower has started to say (whatever his name was who mentioned how "gender-blurring ruins the earth" or whatever the other day) on it too is really sickening. I've seen a lot of the nasty stuff my trans friends have dealt with, so anyone speaking out for them at this point in time particularly when it's still such a controversy is really great. I really respect you for this.

Absolutely spot on Trent with you words, and Hayley you are gorgeous, ❤ love from a straight lady in Australia 🇦🇺

Thank you all for this video. There is nothing quite so crushing as knowing that Every. Single. Person in your community would actively and gleefully wish for your death in armageddon if they knew who you "really" were... It's soul destroying. I knew beyond doubt that I was non-binary and pansexual by the time I was 5yo even if I didn't have a name for it. I KNEW from that age, that I was "bad" and "wrong" and would die if I told. I was beaten for the way I sat, the way I wanted to dress, the way I spoke, walked, played... There's no way to adequately explain the dysphoria, dissonance, and anguish of living that way as a child.

When I was kicked out they said that being trans was sexual immorality. They used the text saying that it is abhorrent to God that a man or woman dress as the opposite gender. They were stumped when i said well if I'm a woman and dress as one then God would not have a problem. God knows who I am regardless of what i look like on the outside Jehovah knows I'm a woman it's only you who see me otherwise don't you think that God knowing who I am would detest what I am dressing as now. They just changed the subject to why I lost my faith. That was a mistake that they regretted immediately. I told them it was their fault because of how to delt with the sexual abuse of my sister and I at the hands of my stepfather I told them that they were hypocrites because they let the real sexually immoral person stay in the congregation and did nothing to him knowing exactly what he did. They panicked. They stared saying that i was sleeping with several men and started asking me how many and in what positions we had done it in. I was done. They said they would have to talk to Bethel. When they got back to me they said. Bethel said that they understand my disability (🤦‍♀️) but that i can't dress like that and continue to be a member of the congregation. They assigned an elder to have a study with me. On the first day we had the zoom study, the Elder said I know you are not going to change, I get it. I have to do what I have to do as an elder, you are going have to be disfellowshiped, if you say you are going to stop we can reproof you now and you can try to fade later. I was confused why he'd be saying that but then I noticed his tie. It was the colors of the trans flag. Their hands were tied and it seemed that they were trapped being someone they are not. Ultimately, that is what I did. Later I was caught dressed as myself at a thrift store and the elders were told. I was disfellowshiped shortly after. Thankfully my mother is not one to shun her children, so I didn't lose her. She did just invite me to the memorial but i reminded her that I'm not going anywhere near the people that decided that i should be disfellowshiped for being myself but a person that is known as a child predator gets to stay in the congregation they are the bad association. Unfortunately she still goes to the meetings.

I so can relate to these experiences. I am Trent's age. I grew up in the JWs. I tried as hard as I could to be the best manly man, and I was good it in work and the congregation. I was an elder fifteen years ago when I walked away. I knew what would happen if I came out, and I didn't want to fight. I wouldn't be accepted or change their attitudes. Leaving and accepting my true self has meant nothing but happiness. I love myself in a very healthy way. Love to chat with Trent and/or Hayley.

Trans ex-JW here. I left in 1996 due to religious differences but I don't see my family and I getting back together. My father is/was (its been 25+ years..) an elder and my brother is/was a ministerial servant.

Off topic question, but does anyone know if Lloyd is just not doing rebuttals of the broadcast anymore? Been anxiously awaiting a review for March.

Kenneth Cook enraged me with his sarcasm and by saying gender continuums and acceptance of those, are warped!?!?! REALLY?!?! Hiding CSA is warped!!! REALLY!!!

Sorry I was unable to join you all for this video. My life's been a bit hectic lately. Nice to see trans ex-jw representation.

All you need is Love : John Lennon. We all have a finite number of years on this rock, it would be nice to make each other's adventure on this planet pleasant and loving instead of judging and hating. ❤

Don't waste you time writing to the borg!..Shun them and forget them!😏

As a trans person, this hit hard. I appreciate you speaking on this. I remember being young and constantly feeling like I was in the wrong body or doing something wrong and it caused a lot of internal pain and bitterness until I realized that I was not an elder's daughter. I appreciate both of the guest speakers because it is brave to open up about that pain but the representation is definitely felt. Thank you, Lloyd for an amazing interview.

THANK YOU so much Lloyd! I've never been Jehovah's Witness but coincidentally I'm trans & a regular viewer of your channel!

Lloyd, I hope we can do more videos on this subject in an effort to continue educating folks on our real life lived experiences. One interesting thing i didnt talk about in this interview was having to have a blood transfusion...now that was a traumatic experience that messed with my head. Being an Ex-JW is harder than it is to be trans...IMO.

Omg I can’t even imagine what that would be like. I caught so much shit just for being caught with Metallica tapes at 15 … just damn. I’m so sorry for what any trans person must have endured as a JW 😞

There are so many things in which JW elders are simply out of their depth; responding to JWs who identify as transgender has got to be perhaps the biggest of them all. As you say Lloyd, until very, very recently, JW organization had literally nothing to say or to guide elders on JWs who identify as transgender. And yet this hasn’t stopped the organization, and by extension, elders from wading right in and delivering their cruel verdicts which often have severe consequences for transgender individuals (I.e., turned out if your home has got to be extreme!). At its worst, JW organization promotes a loveless belief system that demands adherence to a black and white moral code intolerant of any difference. This from an organization that claims it alone is the channel of God’s truth on earth.

I have a question and I am coming from a place of desiring education. I am trying to figure out if someone was trans and agreed to detransition then converted to this religion would they be allowed to get married and have kids? This is the one thing in my research I can't find so I figured I'd ask other trans folks who are former JW's

This was very interesting, thanks for sharing.

Reasons for my disfellowshipping (1997): 1) Apostasy. Not believing in "male and female", except when I denied ever doubting that verse, they pulled the charge away. 2) Lying to myself. This is hard to prove either way. But lying is not a disfellowshipping offense. 3) Brazen conduct. They built a case where I would use a restroom and police had to be called and that would be a brazen conduct, porneia. I agree, but that had not happened, and it has never happened. Nobody would porneia with me. Later I told a CO the reasons why I was disfellowshipped and he told me that I was disfellowshipped for wrong reasons. He did not know the right reason for disfellowshipping, but said that I should be disfellowshipped anyway. So there. Do or die: An elder told me that Jehovah will forgive me if I kill myself.

I'm a Nonbinary Ex-Jw 👀🏳️‍⚧️

To those two very brave people ❤❤❤❤. 1:08:24 Keep up the amazing work, because there will be others who will follow your lead!✔️✅👌😳🤔😎

How wonderful that Lloyd is bringing representation to the LGBTQ community. Another great interview that will help so many wonderful Transgender exjws!

I really liked Trent's question to the elder on why don't they disfellowship overweight / obese members? it's a bit hypocritical 😀 I also wonder how many overweight brothers and sisters have been pulled infront of the elders to explain themselves 🤔 Its a brilliant question that they can't answer. But it made me think the same question could apply to blood transfusions if you can be fat for medical reasons why can't you have a blood transfusion when you're bleeding out in hospital, especially considering the scriptures regularly used refer to not eating it.

Holy hell, what courage ❤️

I got lucky. My mother who is a JW been in most of her life Did something amazing last year. Finally accepted me as her daughter. To have that love and acceptance after 40+yrs ,Oh boy it was like winning the lottery. Before that though i was the spawn of Satan.. She finally understood what it was about . It wasn't to be trendy or to be difficult or because i hated god or some other whacky reason , It was because it simply made me happy and she saw that change in me above all else.. and that is really the bottom line of transitioning , its to feel happy , to feel happy inside.

YO ME?! I'M A TRANS EXJW AND I HAVE OTHER TRANS EXJW FRIENDS OMG!

I saw you blush Lloyd . But on a serious note glad to see Hayley and Trent not letting the Borg keeping them repressed sexually . I hope we hear more from them .

Thanks for this current issue. Odd thing about the chapters in Deuteronomy, in that era people in the middle east all wore robes, no trousers except in asia! I guess the earrings were different. There was a lady Pharaoh with a false beard she was very successful, and of course all the roles in Greek Drama were played by men! We are in the modern age now, and have been for sometime! Best to ya'll. And do not get me started on a variety of medical issues and the medieval advice of the WTB & T. Cheers!

My 10 year old granddaughter text me and said, "Tappaw, we are watching your video" Later my daughter posted this in the comments section where i shared this video on my Facebook page. "Bill sounds very sexist! What gives him the right to dictate someone's gender." -Shaylah...age 10 When a 10 year old recognizes misogyny...i must say that her momma, who is my daughter, is parenting very, very, well! Elders being put on notice....young women see you...and they are having NONE. OF. IT. 😂😂😂

Deuteronomy 22;5 " a woman should NOT wear the clothing of a man NOR should a man wear the clothing of a woman for anyone doing so is DETESTABLE to Jehovah God" ... Simple and clear and to the point so, peace!!

What´s the matter? If he wants to wear a dress and call himself a woman, he has the right to do so. Sadly, religious people often are a bit backwards when it comes to human rights.

Thank you, Lloyd, for sharing this interview. I really appreciate you for doing this. I'm an ex-JW and a trans woman. I'd like to say that in 1970 when I got married, you could not get a divorce for homosexuality. Only adultery with another woman was grounds for divorce. That was revised in 1972 when homosexuality came under the banner of "pornea". Then homosexuality became grounds for divorce. The ironical thing is though, I would never have engaged in homosexuality if I thought it was an offense against my wife. So Watchtower doctrine had that interesting aspect on my life. After getting disfellowshipped, I ended up living as a woman for three years and it was the most wonderful time of my life. My gender dysphoria was resolved. But I never wanted the sex change because I knew it wasn't really a sex change, it was just a placebo. At any rate I experimented with a drug called "THC" that acted like a truth serum. I knew in my heart I really wanted to get back to Jehovah and so I stopped living as a woman and got reinstated. I have a lot more to tell but perhaps what is most important is that I discovered that I have a cis male identity and imprinting. Apparently we all have both male and female imprinting and somehow trans people connect with the imprinting of the opposite sex. Thus I believe there is a medical cure for gender dysphoria. I believe a chemical state in the body causes cross imprinting. There may one day be some type of therapy that will reverse and correct gender dysphoria. But in the meantime, this is definitely a medical condition and completely involuntary. It's wonderful to see how many people are loving and compassionate and understanding. I don't have an answer for being trans and a JW. I don't think there is an answer if someone wants to try to deal with gender dysphoria by transitioning. As far as being gay goes, the Bible separated being gay and being homosexual. Jesus said, "Some eunuchs are born that way from their mother's womb", meaning being gay is not only natural, it is considered a gift, but a gift of singleness. Jesus called John the disciple he loved. So Jesus and John were basically a public gay couple in Jewish society. Only it was understood both men were celibate. Gay relationships between two men in that culture were aesexual. But also masturbation was not condemned either. So Jesus was gay, but not homosexual. In fact, that is what being called a Nazarene means. Ironically, that actually means gay marriage was accepted in the 1st Century if it were between two celibate men. So God does not condemn two men from falling in love with each other in the absence of a woman. That Jesus and John were a gay couple is referenced in the esoteric world by depicting John as being very effeminate or substituting him entirely with Mary Magdalene who is claimed to be Jesus' wife. So it was understood that John and Jesus were a gay couple. Since the Watchtower Society cannot resolve this issue, it will be resolved during the millennium reign of Christ. Jehovah is a very understanding God and so is Jesus Christ.

As long as your happy. I said to mum, so what about tony morris do you think he got stood down for being a alcoholic. She said who. I dont know him. You know more than me. I said yah you got two new governing body members too hey. She says dont know anything about it. Curious isnt it. I like watching that blair chick she has arguments as a trans woman with issues on hot topics of child transitioning. She is simply stunning as an adult transitioner. I think you can be half in on all this. I would love a drag queen to read to my grandkids but wouldnt want my grandson in drag at an event in a bar too young.

Mickey Free is not a girl

Hatred? Or criticism?

Live the life you want to live, just keep out of women's sports, and in no way attempt to indoctrinate our kids into this lifestyle. Let Women compete as women, and let our kids be kids.

We learned from feminists that men and women are the same. Now Trans people are telling us there a difference? I’m confused.

It’s a disgrace that is anyone is ok with the harm trans women cause actual women. How are you ok with them stealing women’s opportunities and invading their privacy?

Why are anorexic people told they have a serious mental disorder and it’s not ok to starve themselves, but trans people are told it’s completely fine to cut off their body parts?

I know I won’t be listening to this.. it makes me boil. I just don’t like people telling me I’m a homophobe because I don’t agree with the pronoun movement. And that I get Rheemed if I don’t use the “ proper” pronoun. I was in the JW mind controlling cult.. and I’m free of that. I don’t need anyone to tell me.. “ I need to respect” something I don’t agree with. So that is why I will not use “ pronouns” it would be like me being in a control thought.

Nah.

I see you've left one cult to join another Lloyd.

Damn....from one cult to another, I guess

So what if a Jehovah's witnesses is transgender is it the business of Jehovah's lying witnesses tosay it's wrong insulating is it why should people be upset over this? Jehovah's lying witnesses should mind there own business.

Lloyd I am surprised that he would have such a person on your show I'm not really feeling good about you right now